Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
I still think we should make a glass-Pangolin Pepper macerator for people we really hate.
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard open voting
- Location
- Yes.
Is there chakra-enhanced poison ivy or some equivalent?
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
- Location
- Yes.
- Location
- Phoenix, AZ
Hmm...
So, slightly less damage to ninja than what we did by blowing out all the prospective chunin's eardrums? I'm game.
I think our problem is more about touching our opponents as opposed to making our opponents miserable.
- Location
- Yes.
*shrugs*
Get Keiko a time-delayed macerator and attach it to a kunai. You have a ranged spread of nightmare plant bits that should incapacitate anyone, and if it gets into their eyes they're fucked.
Wait a bit and/or blow away the excess plant bits and you can
If irl plants exist here in a recognisable form I'll be surprised.
Goats have evolved subdermal armour to protect them from being exsanguinated by cabbages.
Goats have evolved subdermal armour to protect them from being exsanguinated by cabbages.
I don't think it's a good idea to give them pain over a matter of years.
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- Location
- Yes.
*cough*ash bomb*cough*
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
That's why we need to put together a gas mask out of Tunneler's Friends.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
If Shiina wants to be invisible. We can make ourselves invisible too! In smokescreen!
- Location
- Yes.
Ahm, FP awards for Chapter 203 haven't been awarded to Keiko/Noburi. Unless that was intentional?
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Seriously, what the hell, Australia? You are the place where nightmares go to die of shame at their own inadequacy.
Bleh. Done, thanks.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Seems like something that you could port over to MfD and have there be an international treaty about its use
Alert: Warning
- Location
- https://discord.gg/z9tBvbh
thread policy
From this post onward there was quite the discussion on what to do with Transphobes, and they all veered towards ways to kill them. That is not the kind of thing we wish to see on Sufficient Velocity. You may despise a hate-group, and you may clearly wish them ill or even wish for their death, but you cannot do so in a public setting and you cannot do so on Sufficient Velocity.
This time, you all get off with this Alert Modpost telling you not to do it again, but I am hopeful there will not be a next time.
Have a nice day.
From this post onward there was quite the discussion on what to do with Transphobes, and they all veered towards ways to kill them. That is not the kind of thing we wish to see on Sufficient Velocity. You may despise a hate-group, and you may clearly wish them ill or even wish for their death, but you cannot do so in a public setting and you cannot do so on Sufficient Velocity.
This time, you all get off with this Alert Modpost telling you not to do it again, but I am hopeful there will not be a next time.
Have a nice day.
Chapter 204: The Oyabun’s Favour
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
The Oyabun appeared to be in a singularly good mood, if the unnerving predatory edge to his smile was any clue.
"Welcome, conquering heroes," he purred. "Congratulations on what I understand to have been an exceptional exam performance. Please, take a seat. I have prepared my special chocolate selection for today."
"Thank you, sir," Hazō said, wondering how to get through the meeting without touching the chocolate, and without the Oyabun noticing that he wasn't touching the chocolate. "I take it the rumours are already flowing?"
"A trickle," the Oyabun said. "I am given to understand that the Gōketsu are cowards who were only able to triumph by cowering behind the backs of their summons and throwing seals from a safe distance, and by the second round had all but given up on exposing themselves to danger. Any success they had was thanks to the generous gifts Leaf had given them."
That was about what Hazō had expected. Not many of the other genin were likely to openly admit the brilliance behind their defeat, especially while they were still both injured and humiliated.
The Oyabun gave a wry smile. "The Fourth's propaganda corps were not selected for their subtlety. It seems the Fifth has not yet found the time to replace them."
Hazō exchanged glances with the others at the implication, but the Oyabun continued before he could speak.
"Impressed as I am with your tour de force, I have naturally sown my own seeds on your behalf. Already, there are whispers in taverns that Leaf's power is so great that it can transform even the lowliest genin into a world-class warrior with equipment and resources alone."
Hazō frowned. "No offence, sir, but that doesn't sound like the best way to improve our reputation. I appreciate that it'll help Leaf's position, but I don't think it should be at the expense of our own. Shouldn't we be emphasising the strength of the Gōketsu, and therefore Leaf's by implication?"
The Oyabun chuckled.
"A beginner's mistake, I fear. One does not oppose a rumour with its opposite. The existing rumour has the benefit of momentum, and realistically the best that one can hope for is a stalemate where the populace's opinion remains divided. No, far be it from me to lecture a talented shinobi on the nature of the martial arts, but what one must do is turn the opponent's momentum against them."
"I get it," Noburi said suddenly. "You want to take control of the narrative by absorbing what's already there into a story of your own."
"Indeed," the Oyabun smiled. "Rather than pit flattery against contempt, let the contempt be subsumed by fear. The three of you are, despite your stellar accomplishments, largely unknown to the people of the Water Country. Names without faces, and even the name 'Gōketsu' is unfamiliar and abstract to many ears. Leaf, however, has been a source of fear and intimidation for my countrymen for as long as it has existed, a deadly threat lurking on the horizon. The rumour that Leaf is growing in power and extending its reach will be accepted without question. What do the personalities of its warriors matter, if even Leaf's weakness is stronger than other villages' strength?
"It is only a matter of time until the full details of the fifth event become widely known. At that point, with the foundations laid, it will take but a nudge to shift public discourse towards 'If the Hokage's clan obliterated the opposition using Leaf's shared resources alone, what incredible personal abilities must they be holding back for the tournament?' Fear transmutes into fascination, fascination gives rise to speculation, and at that point none can turn back the tsunami.
"As an aside," he added with a touch of mischief, "tournament gambling could reach heights unseen since the year Uchiha Itachi broke the old scoring system. The Chivalrous Organisation will, naturally, perform its public duty by supervising the process."
Hazō's smile had turned just as predatory as the Oyabun's. "That sounds perfect, sir."
He pulled an envelope out of his pack. "As a gesture of gratitude, please accept these seals—"
But the Oyabun held up a hand. "Please. There is no need. If you wish to express your gratitude, perhaps you could do so with a small favour to me and mine?"
He produced a scroll from a sleeve and slid it across the table.
Hazō picked it up cautiously. "What is this?"
"The future," the Oyabun said. "With its position in negotiations enhanced as it has been by your success throughout this exam, Leaf is in an unparalleled position to lift some of the tiresome trade barriers that have so choked commerce between our two great nations since before the village era. The finest minds of the Chivalrous Organisation have produced a proposal which will greatly enhance the international flow of goods, and of course of information, while also imposing certain new restrictions to prevent unsavoury individuals and groups from exploiting this new status quo. It would give me unalloyed pleasure if you were to pass this on to the Hokage together with my congratulations."
Time and spoons (but mostly spoons) are not on my side, so the rest of the plan shall be @eaglejarl's, to do with as he will. He shall also award rewards and impose doom as appropriate. There shall be no voting.
"Welcome, conquering heroes," he purred. "Congratulations on what I understand to have been an exceptional exam performance. Please, take a seat. I have prepared my special chocolate selection for today."
"Thank you, sir," Hazō said, wondering how to get through the meeting without touching the chocolate, and without the Oyabun noticing that he wasn't touching the chocolate. "I take it the rumours are already flowing?"
"A trickle," the Oyabun said. "I am given to understand that the Gōketsu are cowards who were only able to triumph by cowering behind the backs of their summons and throwing seals from a safe distance, and by the second round had all but given up on exposing themselves to danger. Any success they had was thanks to the generous gifts Leaf had given them."
That was about what Hazō had expected. Not many of the other genin were likely to openly admit the brilliance behind their defeat, especially while they were still both injured and humiliated.
The Oyabun gave a wry smile. "The Fourth's propaganda corps were not selected for their subtlety. It seems the Fifth has not yet found the time to replace them."
Hazō exchanged glances with the others at the implication, but the Oyabun continued before he could speak.
"Impressed as I am with your tour de force, I have naturally sown my own seeds on your behalf. Already, there are whispers in taverns that Leaf's power is so great that it can transform even the lowliest genin into a world-class warrior with equipment and resources alone."
Hazō frowned. "No offence, sir, but that doesn't sound like the best way to improve our reputation. I appreciate that it'll help Leaf's position, but I don't think it should be at the expense of our own. Shouldn't we be emphasising the strength of the Gōketsu, and therefore Leaf's by implication?"
The Oyabun chuckled.
"A beginner's mistake, I fear. One does not oppose a rumour with its opposite. The existing rumour has the benefit of momentum, and realistically the best that one can hope for is a stalemate where the populace's opinion remains divided. No, far be it from me to lecture a talented shinobi on the nature of the martial arts, but what one must do is turn the opponent's momentum against them."
"I get it," Noburi said suddenly. "You want to take control of the narrative by absorbing what's already there into a story of your own."
"Indeed," the Oyabun smiled. "Rather than pit flattery against contempt, let the contempt be subsumed by fear. The three of you are, despite your stellar accomplishments, largely unknown to the people of the Water Country. Names without faces, and even the name 'Gōketsu' is unfamiliar and abstract to many ears. Leaf, however, has been a source of fear and intimidation for my countrymen for as long as it has existed, a deadly threat lurking on the horizon. The rumour that Leaf is growing in power and extending its reach will be accepted without question. What do the personalities of its warriors matter, if even Leaf's weakness is stronger than other villages' strength?
"It is only a matter of time until the full details of the fifth event become widely known. At that point, with the foundations laid, it will take but a nudge to shift public discourse towards 'If the Hokage's clan obliterated the opposition using Leaf's shared resources alone, what incredible personal abilities must they be holding back for the tournament?' Fear transmutes into fascination, fascination gives rise to speculation, and at that point none can turn back the tsunami.
"As an aside," he added with a touch of mischief, "tournament gambling could reach heights unseen since the year Uchiha Itachi broke the old scoring system. The Chivalrous Organisation will, naturally, perform its public duty by supervising the process."
Hazō's smile had turned just as predatory as the Oyabun's. "That sounds perfect, sir."
He pulled an envelope out of his pack. "As a gesture of gratitude, please accept these seals—"
But the Oyabun held up a hand. "Please. There is no need. If you wish to express your gratitude, perhaps you could do so with a small favour to me and mine?"
He produced a scroll from a sleeve and slid it across the table.
Hazō picked it up cautiously. "What is this?"
"The future," the Oyabun said. "With its position in negotiations enhanced as it has been by your success throughout this exam, Leaf is in an unparalleled position to lift some of the tiresome trade barriers that have so choked commerce between our two great nations since before the village era. The finest minds of the Chivalrous Organisation have produced a proposal which will greatly enhance the international flow of goods, and of course of information, while also imposing certain new restrictions to prevent unsavoury individuals and groups from exploiting this new status quo. It would give me unalloyed pleasure if you were to pass this on to the Hokage together with my congratulations."
-o-
Time and spoons (but mostly spoons) are not on my side, so the rest of the plan shall be @eaglejarl's, to do with as he will. He shall also award rewards and impose doom as appropriate. There shall be no voting.
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- Location
- Poland
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Annoying, to have personal strength considered as belonging to others.
Even more annoyingly, our seal-based tactics for tornament won't help out here. It's still fancy gadgets and mystic artifacts, not person's inner strength.
- Location
- UK
Nah, that sounds perfect. We need reputation amongst our allies in Leaf, but it's Leaf, not us, that benefits from a reputation of strength among the wider world. The story makes a fine enough point of the advantages of working in the shadows, and not presenting your true strengths.