Chapter 9β: Seduction by Deduction
"...and
after the Yamanaka are done sucking all my secret lore out of my head through a hollow straw, they can just shove lupchanzen in my ears and lock me in a sealing workshop to make weapons of mass destruction for them for the rest of my life, is that the plan? Well, you weren't smart enough to trick old Kagome, you stinkers! This time, I'm going to–"
"Kagome-sensei!" Hazō interrupted. "There aren't any lupchanzen in Leaf."
"That's what you would say, isn't it, you… you
sympathiser!"
Hazō hadn't heard so much vitriol packed into a single word since one of Yuno's students tried to introduce her to the philosophical concept of conservationism.
"What's a lupchanzen?" Akane asked innocently, conveniently redirecting Kagome-sensei's attention. "It sounds like a rare flower."
"Actually, that's not far off," Hazō said. "They're half-plant, half-animal hybrids that enter your brain through your ears and take over your body. They also have perfect access to your memories, so it's impossible for anyone to tell you've been taken over."
Akane took a step back. "And you're saying, with your future knowledge, that those are
real?"
"Uh." Hazō glanced at Kagome-sensei. "I'm not saying they're
not real, but I've also never seen any myself, or met anyone other than Kagome-sensei who's heard of them."
"Oh. Ohh."
"Of course they're real!" Kagome-sensei exclaimed. "You'll find out if we go to Leaf, only by then it'll be too late because you'll all be the Sage's mindslaves! Well, I'm not letting them take me down with you, you–"
"Leaf is
safe," Hazō said, for far from the first time. "I mean, not from assassination or getting caught up in other people's sealing failures or being executed for treason, but those are just daily occupational hazards of being a ninja. In the alpha timeline, I knew a Yamanaka
really well, and I can tell you she would never suck your memories out of your head just because she wanted your secrets."
"Oh, you knew her really well, did you?" Kagome-sensei spat. "I'm sure that'll be a great comfort to the rest of us when the Sage finds out you've got future memories and sends his goons with their genjutsu seals and their–"
"Kagome," Mari said placatingly. "You have to make allowances for Hazō. He's still young and naive. I bet he didn't even
know there was such a thing as truth serums. The fact is, though, that we're trying to take on a major conspiracy to take over the world using experimental technology too powerful for the hand of man, isn't that right?"
"It's trying to take over the world using ancient secrets best left forgotten," Kagome-sensei corrected her. "Common mistake, that. Completely different threat profile."
"See?" Mari asked. "Amateurs like us are completely out of our depth here. I'm scared to think what they're going to do to me if I walk into Leaf unprepared. That's why we need you. Not just because you're part of the team, but because you're the only expert who knows what to watch out for. You've already agreed that we need to stand and fight this terrible threat instead of letting Akatsuki have their way. That means we can't avoid putting ourselves in
some danger. The rest of us will do it on our own if we have to, but if we want to have a chance, we
need someone who knows about the lupchanzen and the Sage and the Yamanaka and all that to help point the way so we can overcome all these challenges together."
Mari gently clasped Kagome-sensei's hands in hers. "I know I don't have any right to ask this of you after everything you've already been through. But please… will you help us?"
Kagome-sensei averted his gaze. "I, uh, I mean, that is…
"I guess I'll think about it," he muttered very quietly.
Hazō's love for Mari notwithstanding, the woman was a monster. He was very glad her beta self had decided she was on their side.
"If I may redirect the conversation towards some
semblance of sanity," Kei said, "you have yet to explain why we should attempt to gain entrance to the Village Hidden in the Leaves, where our names are most assuredly in the Bingo Book–or at least Inoue-sensei's and possibly Ishihara's are, considering the insignificance of the rest of us. Convinced as I am that Ishihara's philosophy is guaranteed to grant her an early audience with the Reaper, I am disinclined to risk myself purely for the sake of accelerating the process."
"Aww, thank you." Akane beamed. "I really appreciate that."
"It was
intended to be a poorly-veiled insult."
Was it Hazō, or were those two even worse in the beta timeline?
"In answer to your question," Hazō interrupted the building half-argument, "we can't stay missing-nin forever. You said it yourself: global problems need global resources to solve. But we can't go back to Mist, at least not while Yagura's there, and Leaf is the only other place for which I have useful foreknowledge. Also, I don't know anywhere near as much about Rock, Sand, or Cloud as I need to, but culturally, I think Leaf is the closest to what we need. They have a notion of ninja as shepherds to the civilian population, even if they don't always live up to it in practice, and a tradition of leaders who are happy to invest resources in making the world a better place as long as it's put to them in terms of direct benefit to the village.
"Also, Leaf is where all the secret power multipliers are. We're in several races against time, and while I'm sure together we're badass enough to find equivalents elsewhere
eventually, I don't think we can justify that gamble. There are other reasons too, which are probably better delved into as they come up. I learned a
lot about Leaf over my years of living there."
Not least was that without Kei getting the Shadow Clone Technique, Snowflake would never exist. There was an argument to be made that this didn't mean anything–
his Snowflake was forever gone, and he didn't owe anything to a completely unrelated person who didn't even exist–but for some reason, it wasn't an argument Hazō could make. It wasn't that there was anything rational about it. It was just that it would just be… too sad to know about the possibility of Snowflake and go, "I won't help this person exist because it would be too inconvenient". Hazō was very grateful that there were enough other reasons to go to Leaf that he didn't have to weigh that one on any scales.
He'd have to let Kei know in advance. He remembered the pain of Snowflake's awakening, and surely she'd be spared that if she knew immediately that she'd be welcomed and accepted. But it would also be another point of divergence from the people he remembered and understood.
"All right," Mari said. "I'm willing to play along with the why, though you can bet I'll be wanting more details later. What about the how? It was going to be a job and a half to sell Hidden Swamp to the Hokage back when we were a small army. Now we're just an extra-large genin team plus Kagome, and one of us is
their traitor–no offence, Akane, sweetie.
We know your story.
"Not to mention," she went on, "that we somehow need to get Leaf's attention without being summarily murdered by hunter-nin. Jōnin missing-nin are kill-on-sight, and that goes double for genjutsu users."
"Piece of cake," Hazō told her. "First, we get ourselves two summoners. That's over a third of what Leaf already has. That easily gets Jiraiya's attention, and he knows better than to steal scrolls and start off on the wrong foot with their clans when he can cultivate us as assets and see what we're worth. Then we contact him using his spy network. I was never an expert, but I remember one or two people and passwords. Then we earn his trust with an off-the-books mission and get Air Dome seals as a reward. From there, Leaf's ours for the taking."
"Air Domes?" Mari asked.
"Standard defensive seal," Kagome-sensei said. "Like Earth Dome, only you can see through it, so you know what the enemy's up to."
"It uses two seal elements placed on the ground," Hazō elaborated, drawing a basic diagram on the ground with a stick. The rest of the team crowded around him to see, Kei staying well back and unfortunately having a hard time seeing anything as a result. "It generates a dome of frozen air between them, with the elements on the inside. It's about as tough as granite, so you can break through it with explosives or good ninjutsu, but it takes effort, and in the meantime, the user is free to prepare on the inside."
"Sounds useful," Mari said. "You can buy time while you use enhancement techniques, and transparent barriers don't block genjutsu–except that the enemy's safe too, and they have way more freedom to manoeuvre."
"It's not all-powerful," Hazō admitted. "It still saved my life once."
"Fine," Mari said. "What makes it important?"
"Oh, that's simple." Hazō grinned. "Want to know how to use one simple seal to revolutionise warfare forever?"
Everyone tensed in anticipation.
"Go on."
Hazō showed them a cupped hand.
"Turn it upside down."
He flipped his hand over dramatically.
Noburi was the first to react. "I don't get it. Is this some kind of metaphor?"
"That doesn't make sense," Kagome-sensei agreed. "The seals don't work unless they're aligned on a firm surface, and the effect fails if they move. You can't just stick them in the air and hope for something to happen."
Kei slowly walked around the group, stopping across from Hazō so the diagram was upside down to her.
"One could maintain the alignment by also rotating the ground 180 degrees," she said thoughtfully. "A cave would suffice, though cave ceilings are rarely even unless sculpted. Would the earth kami pull the dome down, or is frozen air antithetical to their domain?"
"The latter," Hazō said. "As long as the seals are in place, the dome can't move. Do you want me to explain, or..."
"Please do not," Kei said. "I have been
starved for an intellectual challenge of late."
"I still don't see it," Kagome-sensei asked. "The earth kami would still pull
you down, and what's the good of lying at the bottom of the dome like when Wakahisa leaves green peppers in the bowl like a little kid?"
"Hey, I don't–"
"Quiet, please
. Deny me this opportunity, and I promise I will redirect all my unsated intellectual hunger to the question of revenge."
Noburi shuddered.
"The point, however, is valid," Kei said. "Even with tree walking to remain attached to the ceiling, no
advantage is gained. However, Kurosawa previously provided a hint by alluding to a seal that allows shinobi to walk on air, surely no coincidence. A cave ceiling thus cannot be the solution.
"Does it need to be the ground," she asked after more thought, "or is any firm surface acceptable?"
"That time it saved me, I used it on the floor indoors," Hazō said.
"So a ceiling would also suffice," Kei reasoned. "Again, however, no advantage is gained. Walking on air is useful only outdoors. An artificial ceiling outdoors… perhaps some manner of plank?"
Hazō didn't say anything, waiting.
"But without the structural support of the rest of the building, if you released the plank after activating the seal, it would just… Oh."
"Yeah."
"How counter-intuitive," Kei said. "Even so, you would still be faced with the problem raised by Kagome… But no, I am a fool. One can model the plank as a one-dimensional line connecting opposing points on the circumference of a circle, ignoring the third dimension. Assuming arbitrary width, one can simply climb out of the dome and be standing with no material connection to the ground.
"But the plank must be raised to a useful height in the first place, and presumably the dome will not form with the user's feet obstructing the necessary space. Jumping to activate the dome in mid-air? No, even if the seals could activate in motion, Kurosawa would not settle for a solution so inelegant. Ah, wait, a timer would suffice, allowing the user to hold the plank from the side instead of needing to touch the elements from underneath.
"I see now." Kei gave one of her rare smiles. "Assuming the first plank can be raised to a desired height, additional planks can be chained from it, creating a skybridge of arbitrary length. Obviously, the duration of the seal effect would be a limiting factor, but even a temporary skybridge would facilitate aerial travel between any two points. Of course, it would require optimisation to reduce the manual effort and material costs before traversing long distances could be
practical, but presumably you have identified solutions. Lighter planks, custom seals, perhaps some process that could lay down the skybridge elements systematically while reducing human labour, after the fashion of wall-building ninjutsu… Furthermore, permanent skybridges are difficult to imagine given the manifold critical problems to be solved, but considering the transformative logistical implications… Kurosawa, you are a
genius."
Um.
"That's… actually not where I was going with this," Hazō said carefully, while filing the concept of a skybridge away in the back of his mind (along with the question of exactly how Frozen Skein limitations affected somebody who only
thought they were optimising somebody else's plan).
"Oh." Kei looked crestfallen. "Of course there was some ruinous flaw in my reasoning. It was hubristic of me to imagine that a genin of minimal talent like myself could rewrite military doctrine with nothing but a handful of hints."
"I never said that," Hazō said. "In fact, I have no idea if your suggestion would work. I just did something else–taking advantage of the fact that I know what sealmasters can do to modify seals. For example, a sealmaster of Kagome-sensei's calibre could change the trigger condition to be chakra emission, so you could activate the seal elements with tree walking."
"But what could you possibly… no, let me think."
They let Kei think, Mari visibly growing impatient, but apparently unwilling to incur Kei's wrath.
"You would be able to activate the seal with your feet, assuming a very thin plank. What would this achieve that a time delay on the seal would not? Running along the planks? No, the skybridge has been rejected. Some kind of two-plank arrangement, like the skis of Snow Country? I have always wished to attempt those. But no, I cannot allow myself to be distracted. Besides, the domes are defensive fortifications. They must be far too large."
"They can be miniaturised," Hazō said helpfully.
"They
can?" Kei stared at him, wide-eyed. "Why did you not lead with that? If one can activate and deactivate multiple air domes simultaneously without interference–up to four, I assume–then it is possible to use some for support while placing others. If one alternates,
of course it is possible to walk on air!"
The others looked at each other.
"Did you follow that?" Noburi asked Akane.
"I'm not sure. Maybe if I heard it again?"
"As mentioned, Kurosawa, you are a genius," Kei said, "and thank you for providing me with the most delicious puzzle I have enjoyed since… well, perhaps since my departure from Mist. Revolutionising military doctrine or not, your sheer creativity would surely have you married into the Mori Clan in short order were we still in the village."
"They grow up so young." Mari wiped an imaginary tear from her eye. "To think I would be hearing wedding bells after only a matter of months…"
Kei went bright red. "I-I did not mean
myself! I was speaking in the hypothetical. That Kurosawa is unexpectedly adept at the art of flirtation does not suddenly mean I am some kind of… of
stumpet!"
"A what?" Kagome-sensei asked.
"Highly inappropriate Mori slang," Mari said. "You know I never meant anything like that, Keiko dear."
She gave Hazō a "get on with it" signal with her eyes.
"In conclusion," Hazō said to the rest of the team, not looking at Kei just in case, "we have a Mori-certified way for ninja to walk on air, and all we have to do to get it is find a way to contact a murderous demigod who wants all of us, personally, dead and get him to give us some of his weapons. Luckily, if there's one thing I'm good at, it's persuading people not to murder me against their better judgement."
