- Pronouns
- He/Him
Would be useful now, they're faster than skywalking everywhere
But Kagome and Hazou would need to build the frame and give spiders instructions on how to weave more I think
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard open voting
But Kagome and Hazou would need to build the frame and give spiders instructions on how to weave more I think
- Location
- United States
Could you not use an AoE of your own?
I've been poking at some XP spreadsheets. I don't have anything I'm really confident in, but my best guess is that Minato was at ~7 base XP/day (based on his late (by the standards of S-rank-track (insofar as that's even a thing)) jōnin promotion*), and had somewhere around 23-27k XP when he started getting flee-on-sight orders, of which maybe 4-7k was spent after (and therefore on) his new sealing paradigm.
*Although I also expect it took Minato more XP than a typical ninja to get to jōnin rank, because he invested heavily in research stats.
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- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Of course. But that's not a hard counter against an invisible enemy. It just creates the possibility of hitting them if you aim in the right area.
- Location
- United States
What I am hearing is you need a bigger AoE!
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Isn't it a bit late to start quoting the Catechism of Kagome?
- Location
- Texas
Based on the MS header, he had at least Sealing 60 and TH 40. If our guesses about MS are right, he likely leveled that up singlecost up to 40 as well. That's 6,000+ experience right there.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
It's never too late or too early for that, silly.
- Location
- Can’t say. I know my momentum.
A student of Kagome never quotes it late nor early. He quotes it precisely when he means to.
We're probably long past the point where this is useful, but
Incendiary Explosive: Like a standard explosive, but the damage is Energy:Fire
Eavesdropper's Seal: When first activated, 'listens' for a number of seconds set at creation time, no greater than creators effective Sealing rank. The second time it is activated, repeats back whatever sounds it heard on the first activation. Volume limited, can't copy Banshee seals etc. Notes say that the calligraphy is unusually difficult relative to the infusion.
Signaling Seals: Two-element seal. When one element is activated, the other glows dimly, if they're within about 20 meters.
Improved Signaling Seals: As above, but triple the range, and much more difficult.
Suppression Seal: Establishes a block against chakra molding by anyone in contact with it (creator's Sealing vs. level of the technique being attempted, or user's CR for stunt techniques). Burns out (safely) if the block is overcome. Lasts a few hours.
Suppression Array: Eight seals; when placed at the vertices of a cube, establishes a block against chakra molding by anyone within, using the same rules as the Suppression Seal.
Earth Trigger Seal: A relative of the lesser barrier formation. If an earth technique is used in its zone, activates the seal it's paired with. Sometimes (~1/3 chance) activates when earth techniques are used in adjacent zones, but not consistently.
Wind Trigger Seal: Like the Earth Trigger Seal, but for wind techniques instead of earth.
Seal of Slow Destruction: When activated, charges for three rounds, during which it glows ominously and emits a low hum. At the end of the third round, rends anything within melee range of the seal (in a manner similar to macerator / storage seal stress), as a TN 60 weapon:6 attack.
Semi-secure Storage Seal: Only the person who infused this seal can activate it. Otherwise functions exactly like a normal storage seal. Still releases contents if destroyed.
Earthbreaking Array: An array of three seals. When placed against the ground at least three meters apart but in the same zone, they cause stone and loose earth beneath the zone to crack and shake in an effect similar to a localized earthquake, functioning as a TN 40 attack against structures in the zone, as well as against burrowing creatures or ninja in the zone beneath it, after which the zone gains the aspect 'broken ground'.
Eavesdropper's Seal: When first activated, 'listens' for a number of seconds set at creation time, no greater than creators effective Sealing rank. The second time it is activated, repeats back whatever sounds it heard on the first activation. Volume limited, can't copy Banshee seals etc. Notes say that the calligraphy is unusually difficult relative to the infusion.
Signaling Seals: Two-element seal. When one element is activated, the other glows dimly, if they're within about 20 meters.
Improved Signaling Seals: As above, but triple the range, and much more difficult.
Suppression Seal: Establishes a block against chakra molding by anyone in contact with it (creator's Sealing vs. level of the technique being attempted, or user's CR for stunt techniques). Burns out (safely) if the block is overcome. Lasts a few hours.
Suppression Array: Eight seals; when placed at the vertices of a cube, establishes a block against chakra molding by anyone within, using the same rules as the Suppression Seal.
Earth Trigger Seal: A relative of the lesser barrier formation. If an earth technique is used in its zone, activates the seal it's paired with. Sometimes (~1/3 chance) activates when earth techniques are used in adjacent zones, but not consistently.
Wind Trigger Seal: Like the Earth Trigger Seal, but for wind techniques instead of earth.
Seal of Slow Destruction: When activated, charges for three rounds, during which it glows ominously and emits a low hum. At the end of the third round, rends anything within melee range of the seal (in a manner similar to macerator / storage seal stress), as a TN 60 weapon:6 attack.
Semi-secure Storage Seal: Only the person who infused this seal can activate it. Otherwise functions exactly like a normal storage seal. Still releases contents if destroyed.
Earthbreaking Array: An array of three seals. When placed against the ground at least three meters apart but in the same zone, they cause stone and loose earth beneath the zone to crack and shake in an effect similar to a localized earthquake, functioning as a TN 40 attack against structures in the zone, as well as against burrowing creatures or ninja in the zone beneath it, after which the zone gains the aspect 'broken ground'.
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Future Interlude (AU?): Instances of Three Individuals, Part 3
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
"Just to check," Snowflake asked, "but is this cooking competition perchance being hosted by visitors from Hidden Rock, or perhaps Hidden Rain?"
"Hot Springs, actually," Hazō said. "Why?"
"Because storing ingredients outdoors in this heat seems like an excellent recipe for spoilage and mass food poisoning," Snowflake said. "It would be an original vector of attack, targeting the civilian population while evading standard anti-terrorism countermeasures like the Byakugan and maintaining plausible deniability."
"Actually," Hazō said, "that's part of the point. The competition is there to drum up publicity for Okamura Foods opening its first ever Leaf branch, to and show off how they use storage scrolls to make sure their food's still fresh after weeks on the road."
"Ooh," Ami perked up (not that she had been anything less than alarmingly perky since the start of the date). "That's Okamura Seiji's company. The Mori use him as a case study. Apparently, he used to be an ordinary travelling salesman, but then he somehow got word of the Cold Stone Killers incident days before anyone else, and it changed his life. He sold off all his goods and took out a bunch of loans in Rice, and then bought out all his rivals–them being bankrupt after they arrived in Hot Springs with luxuries nobody was there to buy and perishables that had all perished while they were stuck waiting for the borders to reopen. Then he snapped up property left, right, and centre while the Hot Springs economy was in freefall, managed to get in good with the Mist occupation, and by the time the dust had settled and business was booming again, he was the second most important person in the country after the Lord of the Burning Waters. Some would even say first, considering how much influence Hidden Hot Springs has lost now that AMITY's made DMZs obsolete."
"You're very well-informed, My Lady," the civilian at the sign-up desk told her. "Unfortunately, this is a cooking competition for the common people. No ninja or ninja magic allowed."
"Why would you think we were ninja?" Hazō asked. "It's not like we're wearing forehead protectors or clan colours or anything."
Actually, that reminded him: he glanced down to make sure his seal pouch was still there. One did not go on a date with Mori Ami without being prepared for anything short of the apocalypse (and also for the apocalypse, because when it came, odds were good Ami would be the one to cause it).
"I have a certificate signed by the Seventh Hokage himself confirming that I am a civilian of the Fire Country," Snowflake added smugly. "Would you like to see it?"
The man at the desk slowly looked between Hazō, Snowflake, and Ami, his gaze lingering briefly on the latter (who really did look very fetching in her My Vision dating outfit). He glanced behind him, at the distant figures of the judges, but they were turned away, talking among themselves.
"My humblest apologies, My Lady," he said, bowing his head contritely. "It seems I was mistaken. Please feel free to head into the competition area, honourable commoners just like myself."
It was good to know that Hazō still had it despite not investing in Deceit since he was a genin.
"Ugh," Snowflake muttered, glancing at the rule sheet pinned up by the entrance. "I see Okamura Foods employs the same proofreader as the Leaf broadsheet, which is to say an eyeless cave fish which is additionally blind drunk, and of course possesses neither the power of speech nor limbs with which to indicate errors in the text."
"And also doesn't understand the concept of proofreading, being a fish and all," Ami added after taking a look for herself. "But it's all good. Where there's room for ambiguity, there's room for creativity, as the lawyer said to the shrine maiden.
"Speaking of which," she added, "if this is a competition, there's got to be a prize to make it worth the fight–or maybe a forfeit. I love forfeits."
"Go on," Hazō said warily, his missing-nin danger sense not so much tingling as putting on a full symphony orchestra performance with extra trumpets.
"How about this," Ami said. "Whichever of us gets the lowest score has to confess our true feelings to Hazō before the date is over."
Snowflake stared. "D-Don't be ridiculous! I fail to see why anyone would–"
"Lacking confidence, are we?" Ami purred. "Maybe you don't care about him as much as I thought. Or maybe you used up your lifetime supply of courage with that famous kiss of yours?"
Famous kiss? Dammit, Mari.
"I'm no expert," Ami said. "No, that's a lie, I'm a world-class expert, and I'm pretty sure Hazō is into bold, forthright women who don't hide how they feel. Just look at Akane. Buuut, if you're willing to let me win by default…"
"Hold on," Hazō protested, partly for the sake of Snowflake, who was turning all kinds of interesting colours, but partly for his own safety. "That doesn't work. What if I get the lowest score?"
"Same thing," Ami said. "You pick whichever of us you like more and confess your true feelings to her. Of course," she added, giving Snowflake a smug look, "we already know who that's going to be."
This was going to be a bloodbath.
"F-Fine!" Snowflake exclaimed unexpectedly just as Hazō was about to protest further. "Then I will see you on the battlefield!"
Hazō could only watch helplessly as she strode off towards the baking ingredients, picking up an apron and a bag of flour with the gravity of a woman arming and armouring herself to challenge the gods themselves.
Ami, monster that she was, just giggled a little before heading off to browse the meat and fish storage scrolls.
Hazō, lacking their momentum, stood in thought for a couple of minutes, scanning through his mental list of recipes capable of challenging two masters of optimisation. He had too little breadth of experience and too much sanity to challenge Ami for "Most Unique Dish", and too little information to guess what strategy Snowflake, whom he'd never seen cook, might choose. In the end, he decided to go with a dish both delicious and guaranteed to be new to even the most jaded gourmet: Kagome-sensei's definitely-won't-poison-you stew, the urban evolution of the legendary probably-won't-poison-you stew that had kept them going through brutal months in the wilderness (as long as they made sure at least one person ate something else that meal).
-o-
Hazō's stew bubbled away merrily, mere minutes from completion and the certain victory that would save him from mortally offending one of his two dates. On the far side of the arena, Snowflake was pulling a tray out of the oven with the unique alertness of a woman who would cease to exist if she so much as brushed against it. And at the judges' dais…
"Miss Ori Mami, please present your dish for judgement!"
Ami crossed the arena with the pride and poise of a cat carrying a dead bird home to her unsuspecting owner. From here, Hazō couldn't quite make out what was on her plate.
"Please accept my humble offering, Master Okamura."
Okamura studied the dish in front of him, a smile slowly spreading across his face.
"Why, this arrangement looks just like the symbol of the little trading company I ran before I founded Okamura's, back when the future was a mystery and I had to live every day on my wits. Goodness, that brings back memories. If this tastes half as good as it looks…"
Ami picked up the chopsticks from the plate before Okamura could, quickly scooping up a piece of her mysterious food and lifting it towards him. He opened his mouth–
-o-
"I've never seen anything like it," Noburi said with bitter wonder as he stepped back from the bed. "'Stunned', 'Overwhelmed', and 'Undone', all from a single bite. I've never even heard of 'Undone' before, and I'll remind you I've read Orochimaru's medical research notes. If this poor sod had taken a single shift of stress more, it would've been curtains. What the hell did you feed him?"
"Sushi," Ami said innocently.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Sushi," Ami repeated. "Just ordinary madara nigiri. You can't tell me that sounds remotely dubious."
Noburi looked back and forth between Ami and Okamura's comatose form.
"You mean to tell me you did this with uncooked, salted fish and plain rice? How? Why? How?"
"Will he survive?" Snowflake asked. "My romantic entanglement with Ami and Hazō is hardly worth the life of an innocent man."
"Your what?!" Noburi demanded. "No, you know what. Never mind. I don't want to know. Yes, he'll survive, and yes, you're in for the lawsuit from hell once he wakes up. Once he finds out a bunch of ninja poisoned him after illegally infiltrating the competition…"
"Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about that," Ami said. "I made sure to grab a copy of the rules on my way out. They quite clearly say that nobody can be held liable if the competition gets cancelled because of an act of cod."
-o-
Voting is closed.
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We invented ARS, so I don't think Jiraiya is likely to have had derivatives of it (since most of Jiraiya's hoard was researched before he met us).
What does "at the end of the third round" mean? Is it literally at the end of the third round (i.e. at the end of the turn of the last combatant in the initiative order) or does it trigger after three rounds on the turn of the person whose turn it was activated on? If the latter; at the start of their turn or the end of their turn? (I'm guessing this is not meant to be a combat seal, but it's worth considering what happens if you try to use it in combat regardless.)
- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
Apocamipse, yes
Trust the plan makers, they know best. And when they don't, we know where to point fingers and pretend we knew better.
Oooh, that sounds like a fun story for a first date
Filing her name-change paperwork to "Dammit Mari" as we speak.
Ami:
- bold
- forthright, sometimes
- women, as opposed to Snowflake who is only one woman (one point for Ami)
- may or may not be constantly not hiding how she feels or maybe she is and what did she mean anyway an- let's call this one a draw
"You tell yourself your true feelings about you, while we watch."
(Hazō proceeds to lose, and the ensuing wave of madness has been redacted under Nara guidance)
They're both going to get the same score of exactly zero aren't they
Hooray for the onward march of SCIENCE
I had never heard of a bleeding fourth wall either
Oh, that's what the blindfish proofreader set up. Didn't see it coming at all, and now I'm giggling stupidly, so congrats from my shortly-painful zygomaticus.
... And if you consider "no score given" to come out as zero, my prophecy holds.
Hmmm I'm not quite sure, let me see if I can remember....
Oh that's right!
This mf did not level Deceit.
@Velorien
I have a very important question.
What is the Noburi approved hotness rating for Ami? Surely we can do better than this after making her part of the family?
I have a very important question.
What is the Noburi approved hotness rating for Ami? Surely we can do better than this after making her part of the family?
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Mori Ami
Looks: Have never looked at
Pros: None
Cons: Isn't Yuno
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I always love your reaction posts and inevitably end up having to Google something. Google failed me on this one and it only occurred to me as I was writing this request for clarification that it's a neologism/portmanteau for "Ami apocalypse", right?
Back to the standard looking things up, but at least this time I found it!
<3
- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
Awww <3 thanks
In my defence, half of them are probably just because I don't always do the English... language... thing... very good. And the other half I guess are from being a nerd in a specific enough domain
Yup!
This one for instance I just had trouble translating from French, because when we say "zygomatiques" it's mostly understood by everyone as the muscles behind the laughing movements of the face, but in English apparently it can refer to anything around the cheekbone area, which is where the main muscle connects? But if it's the muscle hurting specifically then what do. what say. I'm 98% sure that's not what "funny bone" refers to, so DILEMMA AFOOT.
"Zygomatic muscles" is how you would say it if you were writing in English. I've seen it in a book or two
EDIT: Or "zygomatic major muscle" if you must be precise about the smiling one.
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- Location
- Liverpool
I got that reference!
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Hm. Ami chose a competition in which she knew she was lethally incompetent at, and then held forfeit a love confession.
Some idle possibilities
@Velorien, am I close to correct?
Some idle possibilities
- Even though Ami knows Hazō doesn't care about gender norms, or "traditional relationships," she's showing him right off the bat not to expect/want her to cook food for him.
- Ami's setting things up so that Snowflake can directly state her feelings for Hazō --something which Ami knows is important to Hazō.
- Ami is playfully/innocently letting Snowflake and Hazō in on an innocent wager, with a harmless/light thing held as forfeit --a confession that either partner would have done, on their own, anyway.
- If Hazō loses, Ami held faith that Hazō could navigate the "apples and oranges," "different types of love for different reasons," "it's not a matter of intensity, but a matter of type" conversation. He's good at those earnest discussions, after all. And him giving a speech like that would soothe Snowflake's insecurities (and Ami's own?).
- Ami is subtly/subconsciously pushing Hazō away from her, and towards Snowflake, due to a fear of emotional intimacy.
- Ami is secure in her feelings, and in Hazō's feelings for her (though, perhaps only intellectually), so she coordinates things so that Hazō will soothe Snowflake's insecurities.
- Ami is doing all this performance as a doublethink armor around her heart, wherein she intellectually claims to be secure, and that this is for Snowflake's sake, but that it is really to push Hazō and Snowflake closer together.
@Velorien, am I close to correct?
- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
- Chaos, Fun, Control
Ami had the lowest score confess. That is to say, herself.
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him