- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Kagome might've kept them away from Hazou so his seal-happy student didn't get to mess with the dangerous bioseals
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Well, we know he saw some of Anko's (🗿) at the very least, maybe some of Arikada's, but I don't think he's ever downloaded any. Which is interesting given that he only needed to see like 5% of the great seal to download it...Kagome might've kept them away from Hazou so his seal-happy student didn't get to mess with the dangerous bioseals
- Location
- United States
Hazō was quite distracted at the time.
He can't just see them in his peripheral vision, has to focus on them for a second or two.
:hazoulook
- Location
- The Soviet Republic of Canuckistan
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Are we sure we've ever seen most of a bioseal? I would not be surprised to learn that many have subdermal components - such as carved bones.
According to Paper in the discord, (which I know unreliable but he did say PONWOG), Hazo didn't look anywhere... else, that time with Anko
Tattoos seem to do alright for at least some bioseals, so yes, he's seen Anko's at least (🗿). Bioseals are, as far as I know, inherently 2D, they just interface with a living* body.
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Welp, time to do some checking. Noburi, hand us the bonesaw!
- Pronouns
- He/Him
"Bro you gotta finish eating your notes before you can have dessert"
- Location
- The Soviet Republic of Canuckistan
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Do you have a citation for this? Not the 'living' part, but the tattoo part.
We know tattoos can be part of bioseals. I don't think we've ever had any confirmation that they're just a tattoo.
Carvings in bone would also be (plausibly) 2D or equivalent. Depth of cut is credibly a third dimension but as a practical matter the range of depths is going to be very limited so I don't think it counts. We also know that carved seals (into mundane materials) are a canonical sealing tradition.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Carving is an optional requirement to be a biosealer/get the stunt
My guess would be certain effects are harder or impossible without knowing carving but there do seem to be bioseals that are tattoo only
Besides, Hazou doesn't seem to need to see all or even most of a seal to download it if it's downloadable... he barely saw any of the great seal after all
- Location
- The Soviet Republic of Canuckistan
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Everyone seems real confident in this and maybe I'm giving too much weight to carving 30 not being 'carefully induce scarring' but I would not be surprised if bioseals inherently had some iceberg qualities where you can't see the full thing just from looking to an extent that would make the Iron Nerve less effective.
@faflec can you check me here? Have we heard definitively that you can do biosealing with tattoos only?
Why would Carving be optional if it's required?
- Location
- Yes.
You can do biosealing using tattoos or bone, according to Kagome; is this what you are looking for?
Ironic. Kagome is actually super close to figuring out Minatosealing here.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Fresh college graduate (5 years of experience preferred [required])
Chapter 8β Addendum: Nara Kei, the Fifth Apocalypse
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Chapter 8β Addendum: Nara Kei, the Fifth Apocalypse
"So," Kei cornered Hazō as he headed off to gather firewood for the evening campsite, "I believe you owe me an explanation of my apparently dramatic counterfactual future."
Oh, boy. Was there any subtle, sensitive way to sugarcoat this? Was it something that needed sugarcoating, with the risk of implying it was somehow bad, or at least a challenge to be coped with? Would Kei want it sugarcoated out of respect for her feelings, or would it be more respectful to present it as raw data and leave her to draw her own conclusions? Hazō, himself profoundly uncomplicated in certain key ways, wasn't sure where to begin to model someone's reaction to a revelation this personal.
Well, he could only do his best.
"Mori, you're gay."
Kei gave him a deer-in-the-lamplight stare.
On second thought, maybe he could have sugarcoated it a little.
"I, er, mean–"
"That was one time!" Kei exclaimed.
She froze, her hands still half-lifted in protest. She lowered them slowly.
"Which is to say, no such incident ever transpired, and your unprovoked accusations are simultaneously base and baseless."
"It was a dare," Hazō said plainly.
Kei sagged. "Thank you, alternate future self of mine, for having the subtlety and discretion of a town crier with a background in opera. I trust she at least made it clear that the incident was trivial and unrepresentative?"
Hazō nodded. "You kissed another girl for entirely ordinary and heterosexual reasons. Coincidentally, you are also gay."
"I most certainly am not," Kei said, her tone more insistent than indignant. "Please do not assume for a second that I am averse to relationships with men. That is, in the completely hypothetical scenario that there was a man in my vicinity who was worthy of attraction."
Ouch.
"Which is not intended as an insult," Kei hurriedly added on seeing his wry expression. "I do not mean to imply that you are unworthy of being my romantic interest. Wait, no, that is to say, were I in search of a romantic interest, you would certainly be–agh. Kurosawa, please just pretend I said something reasonable and inoffensive that could not be interpreted as a love confession."
"Sure," Hazō said, suppressing a smirk. "Then I guess you're bisexual. Alpha Kei always was a bit ambiguous, and considering she was a very private person with a subscription to T&I's Metallurgy of the Month supplement, it didn't seem wise to inquire too deeply. Either way, it seemed like a good idea to give you advance warning before you meet anyone interesting, considering it's my fault you don't know in this timeline."
"What do you mean, in this timeline?"
Oops.
"So you remember how I said that in the alpha timeline, it was Inoue who half-cured you of your suicidal depression?"
After a second to process, Kei put a despairing hand to her forehead.
"...Are you implying that I developed romantic feelings for Inoue-sensei, a woman conservatively half again my age, on the basis of nothing more than timely medical treatment?"
"Essentially, yes." Also, Hazō suspected, something to do with Ami withdrawal, but he wasn't going to say that since he couldn't save the world if he was summarily dismembered and the remains buried beneath that convenient-looking rock over there.
"You are surely exaggerating," Kei objected. "It was probably nothing more than an innocent acknowledgement that Inoue-sensei is an extraordinary specimen of womanhood in both body and mind, such as might be made by anyone who spends time in her company."
Hazō raised an eyebrow.
"This is nothing more than objective observation! Why, consider Noburi, who regularly praises her for her charm and insight while ogling her with all the subtlety of a Byakugan user setting up camp outside a brothel."
"In other words… your feelings about Inoue's body are the same as those of a heterosexual boy."
Kei groaned.
"Kurosawa, your social skills are superior to my own. Tell me, how do I escape this conversation with any amount of dignity intact?"
"That depends," Hazō said mischievously. "You could leave now and spare yourself any more teasing, or you could stick around and find out why I thought your sexuality was such a prominent part of your other self's future… but at a terrible cost."
"…Is the terrible cost more teasing?"
"Yes."
Kei paused to weigh her options.
"On the one hand, the revelations in store are certain to be extremely embarrassing and/or a threat to my already fragile sanity. On the other hand, it is intolerable for you to apparently know my deepest, darkest secrets when I myself do not, and it is the way of my people to mentally traumatise ourselves for the sake of valuable data.
"I suppose you may as well do your worst."
When she put it that way...
"Very well," Hazō said. "To begin with, you are a happily-married woman."
"You waste no time on accumulating momentum before you crash directly into the limits of my credulity. And besides, what of my alleged lesbianism?"
"It's a political marriage."
Kei relaxed. "I suppose that makes sense. More than someone willing to permanently bind themselves to me in matrimony as a romantic choice, at least."
"Which is not to say that you two aren't deeply, if platonically, in love," Hazō added for
"That is a flagrant contradiction," she objected. "I will grant you that my familiarity with the practice of platonic friendship is only slightly less limited than my experience of romance, but even I understand that the two are impossible to confuse."
Hazō tried not to smile at the innocence of youth in case Kei, not unfairly, thought he was being patronising.
"There's a certain amount of inference needed because, again, Metallurgy of the Month," he said, "but you describe each other as best friends and he repeatedly came close to starting a clan war over insults to your sexuality."
"He knows?!"
"Sure," Hazō said casually. "I mean, he is the one who helped you crowbar an entirely new category of romantic partner into existence through legal weaselwork and political machinations in order to grant your girlfriend legal status despite institutionalised homophobia. He gave you the draft law as a birthday present, and the fact that you were satisfied says pretty much everything that needs to be said about him, you, and your relationship."
Kei raised her eyebrow. "My husband assisted me in granting my illicit same-sex lover legal status. Kurosawa, the ship of my credulity is taking on water with the haste of a man who has just triumphed in a ghost pepper-eating contest."
"Shikamaru is pretty cool that way," Hazo admitted, generously not poking at the mixed metaphor considering all the good teasing opportunities still to come.
"Shikamaru? Heir of the Nara Clan, Shikamaru?"
Gah. Of course a Thinker Clan ninja would recognise the name.
"I, uh, don't suppose you can pretend you didn't hear that?" Hazō asked awkwardly. "You have the right to know et cetera, but that was definitely a spoiler."
Kei gave him a look that was to scepticism as Orochimaru was to medical malpractice.
"Kurosawa, to imply that a talentless, treasonous Mori genin such as myself could so much as draw the notice of the Nara heir, and in a positive fashion at that, is alone more risible than Ishihara's entire life philosophy."
Hazō felt a twinge of annoyance on Akane's behalf (the fact that it was a deeply flawed life philosophy that eventually drove alpha Akane into depression notwithstanding). Clearly, petty revenge was necessary.
"I see," he said. "Then I guess it didn't count as positive notice when he declared your engagement in front of representatives from every village in the world at the Chūnin Exams, thereby forcing his father and the entire clan to accept the betrothal whether they liked it or not, even though it's considered one of the most romantic acts of our generation. Incidentally, your reaction was to threaten him with a kunai because he violated your agency by not asking you first."
"As any rational woman would," Kei agreed. "Still, I refuse to believe that my alternate future self is some kind of… of… self-insert romance novel heroine who has multiple attractive men or women casting themselves at her feet as they fail to resist her incredible charm and beauty which are in no way apparent to the average reader. Not that I have any personal experience with improper literature of that kind, you understand. I speak only for purposes of example."
"So I'm guessing you don't want to hear about your other Companion, a girl with whom you have a unique, very close quasi-familial, quasi-romantic relationship and who herself states that she cannot live without you?"
"I have multiple legally-recognised same-sex lovers in addition to my husband? At the same time? Kurosawa, you may as well stop now. The aforementioned ship cannot survive passage through this maelstrom of depravity."
Hazō shook his head mournfully.
"That's a shame. I guess your other girlfriend, who doesn't have any special legal status but at this point nobody cares, will just have to go unmentioned. As will the established lesbian couple you dated before her."
"Wonderful," Kei said wearily. "So in this timeline that is increasingly less romance and more avant-garde speculative fiction, I am a veritable vortex of iconoclasm that somehow irresistibly draws in every lesbian of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, all while my platonically besotted husband abuses the power of the Nara to aid and abet me in my seductions. Please tell me I am at least discreet."
Hazō hesitated.
"I mean, you personally don't do anything that conspicuous, but… You know Shinke Yakumo?"
"The womaniser so infamous that his name is now common shorthand for a man with an outrageous number of lovers?"
Hazō just nodded.
"..."
Kei buried her head in her hands.
It was the signal for the deathblow.
"If it makes you feel better, I'm pretty sure the public doesn't know about the clandestine organisation for sexual minorities you run out of a secret members-only gay bar," Hazō said. "I only know because alpha Mari's on the member list and figured it would be better for me to know in advance in case you ever needed backup against the virulently homophobic priest clan which considers you a walking moral apocalypse."
"I run a what out of a what?" Kei sank to the ground as her legs finally failed to support her. "Also, Inoue-sensei is homosexual?"
"Bisexual," Hazō corrected her. "It's not a secret. Seduction specs can get away with some crazy stuff, and people just accept it as a tragic sacrifice they're making for the sake of the village, the same way everyone shrugs off the fact that most jōnin are crazy."
"So I have learned from Ami," Kei said.
Hazō had to remind himself that, as far as beta Kei knew, Ami was still a chūnin and the statement was not delightfully ambiguous.
"I however, am none such, and could never become one for many reasons. Thus, your allegations are finally disproved by the fact that the cavalcade of heresy you describe could never be sustainable in the public eye."
"Oh, right," Hazō said. "I forgot to mention that you're probably the most powerful woman in the village, not counting special cases who can break mountains in half with their little finger."
"I am the what."
"I mean," Hazō went on innocently," there's a case to be made for one or two of the female clan heads and the total resources they have personal control of, but in terms of your sheer number of subordinates and allies, and everything they bring to the table–including everything I bring to the table–I think you'd have to be Kage in order to be meaningfully more powerful. Oh, did I mention all this was at the age of sixteen?"
"How? Why? How?!"
Honestly, even knowing the exact sequence of events, it was still a really good question.
"The same way I got to where I am right now, really," Hazō concluded after a little thought.
Kei relaxed a little. "A diabolical campaign of deception and manipulation powered by severe information asymmetry?"
"I was more thinking of being shunted into the right place at the right time by the often inscrutable whims of greater powers, and then earning the loyalty of others through hard work and dedication to their welfare."
Kei gave a tiny, exhausted, but genuine smile. "Dedication to our welfare? Yes, perhaps that is why I–I mean, certainly, that is a significant factor in the group's acceptance of your leadership. Though I am as yet uncertain how to reconcile it with the way you have spent the last fifteen minutes sadistically toying with me."
Hazō smirked. "Are you telling me there isn't a part of you that enjoys tormenting your loved ones as a twisted show of affection?"
"I suppose I cannot wholly deny–"
Kei cut off, her face turning bright crimson as she stared at him.
"I-I had no… Kurosawa, p-please excuse me. I… I need to quadruple-check the perimeter!"
Huh. That was an odd way to end the conversation, Hazō reflected as he watched her nearly run headfirst into a tree in her sudden haste to make sure the team was extra-safe from the local variety of chakra squirrel. Perhaps beta Kei was more divergent than he'd first thought.
Last edited:
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
That's pretty much how it goes, yeah.
11/10 chapter, always a pleasure!
- Location
- Yes.
I was wondering what had happened to Hazou's foot-in-mouth syndrome.
Character growth
I love this sentence.
Ah, early-story Kei ❤️