Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
Interlude (AU): Failed Negotiations
New
- Location
- USA
Interlude (AU): Failed Negotiations
A little over 6 months ago…
Four figures strolled towards the gates of Leaf. The civilians trodding through the churned mud by the village's gates could easily recognize them as ninja and stay out of the way – if not by their clothing, then by the unnatural lightness of their steps that left only the barest of hints in the soft earth. Those ordinary men and women didn't know that these four had the power to destroy Leaf within the hour. The ninja on the other hand…
"Is that-"
"Get the Hokage."
"What if-"
"Go!"
o-o-o
"Greetings, Lord Hokage," Konan said, as Naruto stepped down the wall to meet Akatsuki at the gates of Leaf.
"Hello, Lady Konan," Naruto said, keeping his voice as smooth as he could. Being made to show respect to Jiraiya's killer would be one of his many challenges as Hokage. It could have been worse. Thankfully, Itachi seemed content to wait alongside Deidara and Sasori instead of talking.
Naruto looked back to Konan without meeting Itachi's eyes. He was under strict orders to pop himself if he got the vaguest hint of a genjutsu hitting him. The dozens of clones around Leaf making preparations around Leaf could be impacted, but at the very least, Leaf would be forewarned of Akatsuki's aggression. If they chose to attack, he intended to make them bleed for it. At least the forewarning had given him time to run a message to Orochimaru.
"We have come on AMITY grounds," Konan said promptly. "Are you familiar with the resolutions passed five days ago?"
Naruto frowned. "I got the details. There were a few things discussed, but nothing major. What are you talking about?"
"AMITY Resolution #31," Konan said calmly. A sheet of paper slowly hovered out of her robes and unfolded itself in front of her. "The gathered leaders of the Elemental Nations, and their designated representatives acting in their stead, declare that studying the bloodlines of foreign ninja is a heinous act of high espionage that will be considered a violation of the AMITY compact. Violators will be executed, and their villages subject to damages ten times over."
The paper tucked itself back away. "The remainder of the resolution consists of details and requirements, but the core message holds. Where it might have once been common practice to kidnap foreign ninja in order to study their bloodlines, this is forbidden in our new era. While there exist channels for resolving attempted violence outside of the AMITY compact, bloodline study in particular is recognized as an act particularly worthy of reprisal."
"Is this about the Gōketsu?" Naruto asked, gut sinking. Obviously, Akatsuki had learned about their defection and wanted to raid what was left of their clan. "Because their bloodlines might originally be from Mist, but they're Leaf ninja. I reject the notion that they have committed any wrongdoing in studying their own bloodlines."
Konan shook her head. "AMITY acknowledges that the Hidden Villages are free to study the bloodlines of their own ninja, to the extent that those ninja can assent to such study. No, we are here for something different."
Itachi stepped forward. "Having collected extensive evidence, we believe that this resolution has been violated. We believe that Orochimaru is guilty of the kidnapping of Kurosawa Ren."
o-o-o
Orochimaru opened the hatch above him and cast his tunneling jutsu, diving into the earth overhead. He'd been pleasantly surprised by his relationship with the new Hokage thus far. Not only had he been given a week's forewarning about Akatsuki's interest in his research, but the Fox had also given him minutes for his own preparations once scouts had spotted Akatsuki approaching Leaf's gates.
Orochimaru did not understand why the creature had been so cooperative. He could not see how his next few actions could be compatible with its goals, and that unnerved him. Yet, he had made nearly every single preparation he needed. All that remained was that quirky coincidence of fate, to follow in his nephew's footsteps again.
Like Hazō, he couldn't afford to let Akatsuki discover and interrupt his research, so he would take what he needed from Leaf and leave it behind until the day of Akatsuki's demise.
o-o-o
Naruto flicked through the papers. Akatsuki had convincing evidence. The basic facts were obvious – Orochimaru left the village on an extended mission, near the end of which Kurosawa Ren and a team of chūnin disappeared while on AMITY business. He couldn't corroborate the rest of it: Orochimaru's supposed movements, sightings of his summons, and more. Many of them made Naruto wonder how they had ever gathered the information in the first place. Maybe it was fabricated. He did know what they really wanted, after all.
The complication, of course, was that Orochimaru had kidnapped Kurosawa Ren. Asuma had written it down in those forbidden documents passed from one Hokage to the next. Orochimaru had claimed that he needed the knowledge stored within her bloodline to solve the mystery of the Great Seal, and Asuma, shaken by his recent encounter with the Dragons, had agreed. Oh, he had laid down conditions. If Orochimaru got caught, or if he failed to return in a set timeframe, he would be declared a missing-nin. But in the end, Asuma had agreed, and Orochimaru had presumably succeeded.
"I need time to examine these and see if they are real," Naruto said. "I'll send a messenger to Grass by the end of the week with the results of my investigation and the steps Leaf is planning to take."
Konan shook her head. "My apologies, Lord Hokage, but that isn't acceptable. We believe the evidence is sufficient to take immediate action, and the rest of AMITY will agree given that Kurosawa was pivotal in its founding. You will take us to Orochimaru immediately so that we may question him."
Now that got Naruto hot under the collar.
"Who do you think I am?" he found himself asking Konan. "I'm the Sage-damned Hokage. You don't get to tell me to take you places in Leaf. You sure as hell don't get to walk around doing whatever you please to my ninja. After what Hidan did here last time, none of you are stepping a fucking pinky toe inside this village without my sign off."
Konan thought for a second, then nodded. "Very well, Lord Hokage. We do need to conduct this investigation, and we will not compromise on that. What terms would be acceptable to you?"
Naruto tried to shake the anger off. "No, you don't," he said. "Like I said, this is a matter that Leaf will try to deal with on its own before we involve you. You can park your asses out here while we look into it, but that's all you're allowed to do."
"Forgive me for saying this," Konan said, "but I simply do not believe Leaf is capable of holding Orochimaru accountable. I mean this truly: we intend no harm to Leaf. We simply want to question Orochimaru."
The unspoken 'but' hung in the air. But, if you don't let us, the four S-rankers at your doorstep will tear Leaf apart until you agree.
Naruto grit his teeth. "Fine. You can write down a list of questions. I'll interrogate Orochimaru personally, going down the list, striking any of them that I think would compromise Leaf's national security, and I don't need to justify to you why I struck anything. You're allowed in the room, but you won't speak or attempt to question him at all. Itachi won't make eye contact with anyone. Once the list is done, the questioning is over. You don't get any follow-up."
Konan glanced back at Itachi.
"Very well," Konan said. "Now, if it would not be too presumptuous, Lord Hokage, would you escort us to Orochimaru's estate? I will write down our questions on the way."
o-o-o
Given the power imbalance, ordinarily ANBU would have run a tight guard formation around Naruto as they walked Akatsuki through Leaf. Luckily, Naruto would only ever meet them through shadow clones, so instead ANBU corralled Akatsuki off from the rest of the village as they walked down the wide main streets towards Orochimaru's estate. The streets had been cleared, though Naruto still got glimpses of particularly brave civilians peeking out at the passing procession. Did Itachi feel pain at the way that the village of his birth hated him, or was he truly heartless?
Probably heartless. Bastard.
They arrived at Orochimaru's estate and Sasori immediately split from the tight group, producing seals from his pockets. Two ANBU officers dutifully body-blocked him, acting indifferent to the risk to their lives in doing so.
"No seals," Naruto said.
"We are going to set up seal arrays in the event that the interrogation goes poorly and Orochimaru turns violent," Konan said calmly. "If we have to fight, containment measures will prevent damage from spilling out into Leaf. They will also help prevent Orochimaru from fleeing justice, if he attempts to do so."
Naruto considered that. On the one hand, the Hokage he was roleplaying needed to be firm about preventing Akatsuki from subverting Leaf, and he had no way to verify that the seals were what Akatsuki said they were. On the other hand, he knew that Orochimaru did it, and that he'd be leaving the village soon to continue his research. Violence was a real possibility, and he genuinely didn't want it to spill out into Leaf.
"Let him set up the array," Naruto said to Jackal. "Do not let him activate it. If it appears like he is moving to activate it, or the array is activating for another reason, destroy as many seals as you reasonably can."
The ANBU stepped aside. Sasori turned to Naruto with a completely neutral expression.
"That will suffice," Konan said. "Sasori, you should remain here to ensure you can activate the arrays on my signal."
"On my signal," Naruto said. "Shadow Clone Technique!
"I'll walk you down there, and if things go south, I'll signal to this guy to tell everyone," one Naruto said, thumbing over at his clone. "Until then, no seals."
"As you wish, Lord Hokage," Konan said. "Now, shall we?"
Several minutes later, Orochimaru entered the grand hall in the center of the estate where the Gōketsu had once held their board game nights.
"Ah," he said lightly, eyes cold. "Konan. Itachi. Deidara. What a pleasant surprise."
Naruto raised his hand. "Don't answer him. Orochimaru, there's an AMITY issue and I need to ask you some questions. Is there a secure place we can talk?"
Orochimaru smiled at him, and a slimy shudder trickled down Naruto's back.
"I'm afraid I'm quite underprepared for guests… but I'm certain something can be arranged."
o-o-o
Elsewhere…
"Lord Orochimaru!?" the girl asked in incredulity.
"Observant," Orochimaru said. "Befitting of the Hyūga. I must speak with your quartermaster."
"You need to speak with Aoto?" the chūnin girl asked again. At least she was doing better than the genin by her side. He seemed too scared to even look in Orochimaru's direction — not that the boy needed to with his Byakugan active.
"Yes, Hyūga Aoto. Urgently. I am leaving on a lengthy mission and require supplies," Orochimaru said, flashing a mission authorization with the Tower's seal on it. "I understand the Hyūga are well stocked, correct?"
After a brief stint of discussion, the boy ran off to fetch whoever was necessary, and Orochimaru waited irritatedly at their gate. He detested wasting time and would have been checking his internals while he stood there, but so close to the Hyūga estate, he had to assume they would watch him work. Oh, how he hated dealing with Leaf's clans. At least it would not last long.
The boy came back with a whispered message.
"Aoto is not in the estate at the moment," the girl said, "but the junior quartermaster, Hiroaki is."
"That will do," Orochimaru said. "Take me to him."
"He is-"
"I have an urgent mission," Orochimaru said again, in case it helped her understand. "I do not appreciate having my time wasted. Quickly, now."
The girl jumped in fear, then promptly trotted off into the estate. Orochimaru followed. After another hushed conversation, the genin boy took off at a full chakra-boosted sprint to forewarn the junior quartermaster.
Finally, Orochimaru reached the target location. He appreciated the Hyūga's aesthetic, at least — even their storehouses were well adorned, with pilasters and crestings of blue to complement the white facade.
"Greetings, Lord Orochi-"
Orochimaru stormed past the young man, a chūnin perhaps a couple years older than the girl that had escorted him.
"Urgent mission, I have no time for pleasantries. You have fine clothes and jewels suitable for an infiltration?" Orochimaru asked.
Hyūga Hiroaki looked stunned for a second, then followed Orochimaru into the storehouse after a nod at the girl.
"Yes, Lord Orochimaru," he said. "And I can see if the tailor is in to adjust to your size."
"No time," Orochimaru said. "Show me what you have in terms of jewels."
Hiroaki hesitated for a moment, clearly recognizing Orochimaru's pressuring as an attempted theft, and trying to square that with the obvious fact that Orochimaru of the Sannin had no need of simple mineral wealth.
"It will be paid in full by the Tower if I do not return it."
"Of course, sir. Follow me."
Hiroaki led Orochimaru into a vault, the underground space conveniently sparing Orochimaru from needing to close any windows.
Hiroaki busied himself with the keys as he continued to talk. "What is the mission brief, if it is not classified? I can identify suitable items for you more quickly with details, Lord Orochimaru."
"It's an infiltration into a minor daimyō's court who has initiated a relationship with missing-nin biosealers," Orochimaru lied, as he placed a seal against the wall. "In fact, there is one special request I have for you."
"Oh?" Hiroaki said, facing Orochimaru. His eyes widened as he recognized the anti-Byakugan seal on the wall, but he didn't get another word out. A precise spike of killing intent left the chūnin paralyzed on his feet.
"My apologies," Orochimaru said, reaching into his shirt to pull free a stretch of skin he'd stuck to his chest earlier. He was eternally grateful for the Hyūga's foolish attempt to act as if they could not see beneath people's clothes. "I do need supplies for a lengthy mission, and they are supplies only the Hyūga are capable of providing."
Orochimaru kept the man paralyzed, careful not to let his killing intent spill outwards and warn the other Hyūga. The clan would no doubt have noticed the anti-Byakugan seal, but they wouldn't attack him immediately. Most likely they intended to ask him some pointed questions when he emerged, or perhaps complain to the Hokage. Imbeciles. Orochimaru tapped a seal for a blade, manifested a chakra scalpel along its edge, and severed Hiroaki's neck. Before too much blood could spill out, he applied the skin graft to the base of Hiroaki's head, activating the bioseal immediately.
"Consciousness will quickly fade, though the eyes should remain in good shape," Orochimaru said to the severed head, releasing his killing intent. Hiroaki's face twitched.
"Hebikuri," Orochimaru said, and a lengthy anaconda slid out from where it had wrapped around his waist. "Swallow this and protect it."
Hebikuri dutifully did as she was told, swallowing the head of Hyūga Hiroaki.
"Wrap around me again. There will be some fighting shortly. I will drop you in the forest and continue running. Take the head to the location I showed you, where I will collect you. Is that clear?"
"Yes, Lord Orochimaru," said the snake.
Orochimaru donned his skywalkers and started casting ninjutsu. Without his bioseals, it wasn't impossible that the Hyūga would catch him, so he needed to move quickly. Time was of the essence.
o-o-o
Elsewhere…
"I must speak with Uchiha Sasuke," Orochimaru said to the hapless civilian at the Uchiha compound's gates.
"Sir, I'm afraid…"
A minute of irritation and intimidation later, Orochimaru strolled through the doors of the Uchiha main house. A clan of two ninja was blessedly unable to field the manpower required to prevent his entry. Now, to find the heir apparent…
Orochimaru spotted a girl watching him. Not a servant, but a young genin, with the black hair and severe look of a full-blooded Uchiha.
"You, girl," Orochimaru said. "What is your name?"
"Uchiha Minori," she said softly.
"Do you have the Sharingan?" Orochimaru asked.
"My lord, I cannot-"
Orochimaru let his killing intent trickle out, wrapping around the girl. Not too much, he didn't want her passing out. There were too many servants watching, who might make noise too quickly. He only needed twenty seconds uninterrupted.
"I am about to undertake a mission against Uchiha Itachi, and this intelligence is of the utmost importance," Orochimaru said, flashing his faked mission documents. "You will answer me."
The girl wavered, then looked down. He lowered the pressure slightly, and she looked up again, meeting his gaze with crimson eyes.
"Yes, Lord Orochimaru."
"Good," Orochimaru said, his instincts making him break eye contact after a second as he restrained his killing intent again. He needed to reward cooperation. "Find a private place for us to speak."
The girl dutifully led him to a second-story room.
"When did you awaken it?" Orochimaru asked.
"Last May," the girl answered dully. She kneeled on a mat as if expecting him to sit across her, but he instead circled the room, closing its windows one by one. She watched his movements, but didn't stop him. "Sir, I don't know if I can answer-"
"Answer what you can," Orochimaru said. "Have you mastered the Sharingan's perceptive and predictive powers?"
"I wouldn't say-"
Orochimaru finished his round of the room and, with all lines of sight inwards closed, paralyzed her with a spike of killing intent. He grabbed the preservation graft, drew his sword, and severed the girl's head. Blood drained out across the floorboards.
Orochimaru frowned, even as he attached the graft per procedure. His shaping of medical chakra along the blade's edge should have served as a fast-acting coagulant, as too much blood loss would lead to tissue damage.
He dispelled.
The blood melted away. The girl's body disappeared and his hands were empty, the graft having flopped to the floor after he attached it to thin air.
"Who taught you to be paranoid, girl?" he asked into the empty room.
"Orochimaru," a voice said behind him. Orochimaru turned to see Uchiha Sasuke with his sword drawn, wisps of white flame flickering off his body as blueish lightning crawled up and down his bare sword.
"I know what you came here to do. I won't allow it, and Naruto will make you pay."
Orochimaru couldn't help but grin. The boy hadn't activated his Sharingan.
"Foolish child. Your eyes will do just as well."
Orochimaru lashed out with his killing intent, seeking to paralyze, but the boy had an aura of his own and fought back. The Uchiha crossed the room in a crack of flame, spearing his sword through- thin air, because Orochimaru had swayed out of the way, and Uchiha hadn't noticed because of the pain of their aura clash. Orochimaru's fingers flicked together and a snake flew out, jaws extended to grasp the boy's neck and still him until-
The snake landed true, and the boy disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Obviously. Orochimaru kicked himself. Why would the boy confront him without the Sharingan? It had been too long since he'd danced with Itachi. Also, apparently the Fox had decided to give the damned shadow clone technique out to everybody.
Orochimaru briefly considered trying to chase after either of the village's Uchiha. He decided against it. With them now prepared, he had no hope of gathering a sample unbothered. Even if his clone's actions against the Hyūga hadn't yet been noticed, the Uchiha would be raising the alarm.
Orochimaru sighed. "You may return to the Seventh Path, Hebijō." The snake under his robes disappeared in a puff of smoke. Orochimaru heaped his seals atop the graft and expended a shred more chakra to incinerate the pile. His other selves would need his chakra soon, no doubt. He dispelled himself.
o-o-o
Simultaneously…
Orochimaru saw them down to a parlor in the first sublayer of his basement. Naturally, none of the ninja deigned to take seats, though Orochimaru busied himself at a table for a few seconds, then turned with a tray in hand.
"Gyōza, anyone?" Orochimaru asked.
No one answered.
Orochimaru demonstratively plucked a gyōza from the tray and popped it in his mouth.
Konan didn't even look down at the tray. "Orochimaru, we are here to discuss the disappearance of Kurosawa Ren."
"Don't speak to him directly," Naruto said. "Orochimaru, are you ready to answer some questions?"
Orochimaru frowned and set the tray down. "How did you know I kidnapped Kurosawa Ren?"
Naruto fidgeted slightly, resisting the urge to facepalm.
"You actually kidnapped her!? I thought we made that up!" Deidara said.
There was a pause, then Konan actually facepalmed.
"What?" Deidara asked. "Does it matter that we fudged up the documents now that he's admitted to it?"
"Orochimaru," the Fox said. "Don't confess to-"
Orochimaru waved his hand. "They don't care in the slightest about Kurosawa Ren."
"I actually found her rather agreeable," Konan said.
"Irrelevant," Orochimaru said, not looking away from Naruto. "Akatsuki is here for other business, which we will discuss now. You are no longer required. Dispel your clone."
"No," said Naruto. "This is still an official investigation of Leaf, and I will remain present for it in its entirety."
"Either you dispel your clone," Orochimaru said, "or I will dispel it for you."
Naruto considered that, then dispersed in a puff of smoke.
Orochimaru took the opportunity to glare at Konan. She suffered his gaze for several seconds before she acquiesced.
"It was a lucky guess."
"Hm," Orochimaru said. Perhaps Konan's surveillance techniques had improved, and she had actually gathered meaningful evidence of his actions in ways that she did not want to reveal. As always, she was hard to read.
"We still intend to punish you for violating AMITY," Konan said, straightening again. "We are trying to build a lasting peace out of it, and your casual disregard for the norms we're establishing suggests that you might not have a place in this new world."
Orochimaru batted the thought away. "Let's skip the trivialities. The real reason you are here is the rift at O'Uzu Island."
"You know of it," Itachi said. "And you have not attempted to contact us. Am I correct to think you have no interest in collaborating to exploit it?"
"Correct as always, Itachi," Orochimaru said.
"Then, is there anything to discuss?" Itachi asked. "We cannot permit you to continue researching how to open it yourself. We cannot possibly monitor you for your research, so instead we have no choice but to kill you."
"Posturing doesn't suit you, Itachi," Orochimaru said. "You and Deidara came as shadow clones, and Konan is likely stocking most of her paper out of range. You would not come into my prepared ground without such precautions. You're too afraid of overextending, so you cannot commit enough resources to threaten me. Unless you somehow believe your half-hearted effort will achieve what Nagato could not?"
"Don't underestimate us," Deidara snapped back.
Itachi considered that. "Suppose I grant this. We will not let you kill us, and you will somehow escape an attack that we specifically prepared to kill you. We must still drive you out of Leaf and prevent the village from giving you the resources you need to complete your research."
"I see. Logical. I would be slowed by gathering my own biosealing subjects. Still, before we engage in our pointless dance, I have an offer for you."
"Oh?" Konan asked. "As far as we are concerned, our victory is a matter of time, Orochimaru. We have military superiority over the rest of the world, and we will eventually open the rift and return Nagato to life. Why should we accept any offer of yours?"
Orochimaru shrugged. "I am not without options. My offer is simple: let me claim and fortify the rift site. I have no interest in raising the dead of any village, so no village will gain the power to surpass you. You will have the world peace you envisioned under this international treaty you've created."
"You're offering us nothing to surrender our victory," Konan said.
"If you do not," Orochimaru said, smiling slightly, "and I become convinced that I will be unable to stop Nagato's resurrection, then I will spread knowledge of the rift to all the countries of the world. I have prepared ample evidence both of the rift's existence, as well as the feasibility of reopening it. Everyone that once banded together against you will know that they must do so again to prevent the resurrection of Pain. To ease the pain of initiating the war for the rift, I will pledge my services – bioseal augmentations, ninjutsu, summons – to any village that will wage war to claim it. Except Rain, naturally."
"We can crush any alliance assembled by the villages in their current states," Itachi said.
"How confident are you?" Orochimaru asked. "I count six jinchūriki, all of whom would be very familiar with your methods after the last time you did the same. They will have made preparations. You could crush the alliance, but only if you did so before it formed."
"Is that what you want?" Konan asked. "Do you want us to kill the leaders of every village preemptively to secure our victory? The villages would go to war against us immediately – not one they would win, but one that everyone would lose. Have you even thought ahead to what happens if your alliance wins against us? There is only one rift. The alliance would immediately go to war with each other to see who got to claim it for their eternal victory. Infighting might even begin before they attack us – and, if we saw the alliance incoming, we would have no choice but to sow those seeds of discord as a tool of our own. What I see here, Orochimaru, is you threatening to plunge the world into a war that could eclipse any thus far. Weren't you once on our side? Didn't you once want peace?"
Orochimaru laughed. "I do want peace. Peace and quiet and time to research far from bothersome people such as yourself. It wasn't until Nagato elected to make his ambition everyone's problem that I realized we had a fundamental difference in values. I spent considerable effort making sure he died, and I do not want him returned. So, I offer you a choice: do you want peace? Or will you sacrifice it to have Nagato back?"
Konan frowned.
"We will have Nagato back," Itachi said. "We cannot have peace without his vision."
"Is that so?" Orochimaru asked. "What were his last words, again? 'Even if there are no shortcuts to world peace, humanity can still do it the hard way.' This fledgling treaty you've created seems like the hard way to me. You will fight against human nature in every possible way to make it stick. Yet, it appears to be working. My understanding from Leaf's attrition rates is that they are running their lowest rate of missions in living memory. The actions of imbeciles like Hidan degrade that peace, but it appears to me as if you have something worth striving for.
"Would you really destroy that for the chance to have Nagato back, knowing that, if you do so, it would be in a world he himself would never have wanted? He had every opportunity to raze the villages and implement safer plans for world peace, knowing that in decades or centuries, the world would heal from his actions. I know you know – we were both there when he spoke of it. Now, you will gladly do the things he thought too heinous to consider. What would he think of the current treaty, its potential for lasting into the future? How will he feel when he learns that you burned it all down for his life – a life he voluntarily sacrificed, asking you to do exactly this?"
Konan hesitated.
"Enough, Orochimaru," Itachi said. "We will not submit to your blackmail."
Finally, Konan nodded. "We would not burn the world down – the destruction you threaten would be only your responsibility, Orochimaru. Whatever you destroy, we can repair. And Nagato will help us do so."
"I did not agree with him, in the end," Orochimaru said, expression grim, "but even I can tell that you are disgracing his memory."
Orochimaru brought his hands together to form a handseal, and the four ninja burst into movement.
o-o-o
A trio of Narutos were racing down the stairs when a sudden explosion dispelled them.
Suddenly, Naruto was outside Orochimaru's estate again. His rage at Orochimaru hadn't subsided, but Akatsuki had started to fight and he had to react. The distant sound of explosions rumbled beneath the earth, and people were looking at him.
"Activate your seals to contain him," Naruto said to Sasori. He turned to the ANBU. "If the seals seem like they're doing anything besides setting up a barrier, destroy them."
Sasori's shimmering seven-pointed barrier immediately burst from the seals. Naruto had a momentary thread of worry. Would Orochimaru be able to escape if he let Akatsuki get all their seals ready? Then the worry subsided. It was fucking Orochimaru. He had forewarning. If he didn't get away, then he fully deserved what he was going to get.
A final, massive crack sent the earth shaking underneath Naruto, and a pillar of flames burst skywards from the heart of Orochimaru's home as the rest of the building collapsed inwards. A winged creature – Konan, holding Itachi and Deidara – flew out of the collapsing building. A series of explosive tags detached from her wings and flew into the smoke. They detonated against something, but she continued to fly away.
"Drop the barrier, Sasori!" she called out. "He's breached it already!"
Sasori promptly deactivated the seals and the shimmering in the air subsided.
"Orochimaru's betrayed Leaf," Naruto yelled out to the ANBU. "Hunt him down and capture him!"
Given that Orochimaru had just murdered a Leaf ninja in cold blood, ANBU took to the implicit order to work with Akatsuki with ease as they bounded after the flying Konan and the now-grounded Itachi and Deidara. Konan glanced back at Naruto and frowned.
Paper slips streamed out of a nearby building and assembled themselves into a facsimile of Konan. "Order your ninja back," she said.
"Listen, Konan," Naruto said. "You do not get to tell me how to-"
"Look!" she said, gesturing at the collapsed remains of Orochimaru's estate. Naruto thought he saw shapes moving in the smoke. "He's made monstrosities to hunt us, but-"
A creature burst out of the smoke, humanoid yet quadripedal, covered in alternating stretches of purplish chitin and raw, red musculature. Its back was a bouquet of arms, and each of the creature's dozen appendages ended in scarlet claws.
Right. Orochimaru had just shown Naruto that he gave approximately zero fucks about hurting Leaf ninja, and now he was going to turn the rest of the village into collateral damage.
Naruto leaped out of the way as Konan deformed to let the monstrosity's lunge phase through her, though where it touched her, the slips of paper glowed a bright crimson. Another explosion sounded through the air as Naruto landed on an outbuilding's rooftop, and Naruto remembered that fucking Deidara was in the village too.
Screw Orochimaru. He didn't need to spend effort preventing Orochimaru from getting away. He didn't trust Orochimaru a whit, but he did think that Orochimaru would eventually work with him to prevent Akatsuki from getting the rift. What he needed to do was keep the rest of the village safe from Orochimaru and Akatsuki's reckless action.
"Shadow Clone Technique!" he called out. Clones popped into existence and one promptly disappeared to spread word throughout the village and bend its will towards defense. He needed everyone to work together to keep this from becoming Leaf's next great tragedy.
Last edited by a moderator:
- Location
- France
This chapter features their worst plan yet (and yet another sign that they don't take AMITY seriously, or basic things like "trustworthy investigations").
- Pronouns
- He/Him
They probably would've betrayed Hazou even quicker than Oro did over some dumb minor infraction
At least Oro did it for pragmatic reasons
Unaligned Player
Agony that desires to meet Extinction
- Location
- Adrift between sanity and madness
- Pronouns
- Shrug
Oro did it because he is malicious.
- Location
- Yes.
And this is the other reason why I didn't want to join Akatsuki: Hazou's dumb ass self would never have survived.
It's interesting to note Sasuke's accomplishments here, on further thought. Genjutsuing Orochimaru might not have been rolled but he still definitely has a jonin aura, so he went from special jonin to jonin within 14 months, ~3 of those with FOOM. In light of recent discussion, I wonder what he did to make his victories feel earned.
Last edited:
redzonejoe
Vaguely Pastafarian
- Location
- Canada
Fun interlude. Both disturbing and yet so very Orochimaru to literally go for the eyes before deserting the village. It shows he never had any intention of coming back.
I'm surprised at Tsunade though, if this is what went down. "I still trust him" woman WHAT?!?
I'm surprised at Tsunade though, if this is what went down. "I still trust him" woman WHAT?!?
Come to think of it, good point. What the fuck, Tsunade. ...and didn't Orochimaru tell us Kisame was there too?
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
So... I guess that not one of the Leaf ninja told Hazou about Orochimaru's murdering a Hyuuga genin? Out in the open? And that Tsunade still believed in Orochimaru's loyalty to Leaf, despite this?
I suspect this would have influenced our approach to Orochimaru, post-battle.
Also, the murder attempt on Sasuke.
I do actually think this is another case of simulation lag affecting our actions. I don't think we would have been so inclined to trust Orochimaru.
I probably would have demanded Tsunade and Orochimaru's presence then asked him to demonstrate his oath Snake was alive and well, when he couldn't, reveal the Dead Man's Switch and tell him he better play prosocial. Might have still died but it would have changed my actions.
- Location
- Omniverse #1345
Do we know if he actually killed that snake or that snake was just a liar who puts no value on oaths? We know the 7th path in general cares, but odd individuals exists.
But yeah, he probably did. Easiest method for him was to find a snake that would accept the summon that he considered extraneous.
Good point, perhaps it was a lying Snake. But also likely Tsunade might know that too.
- Location
- Washington, USA
Hey, there's an idea. Let's roll back to the moment when Oro told us about his plan to attack the rift fortress solo, then take that report straight to the Sharks or Crows, offer to help Akatsuki set up defenses capable of detecting Oro from beyond shadow clone range, and then obliterating him before he can reverse-summon. Itachi administers the coup de grace, he's promoted to sannin to fill the resulting vacancy, Tenten and Mari arm-wrestle for the snake scroll.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Rats. I'm sorry to hear that... Well, maybe the players will instead vote for something you prefer.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
It doesn't, sorry. Still, we've seen some utterly wild yet absolutely legit rolls in this quest, several of them having significant plot impact.
Technically, 'malicious' implies that you feel malice towards a person or persons. As a general rule, Oro doesn't feel specific malice, he's simply a psychopath who doesn't give a damn about other humans except on a transactional basis. That's my model of him, anyway.
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
Technically, 'Malice' is an evil poisonous substance in the Legend of Zelda series embodied by Calamity Ganon. It's known for being evil and hurting everything it touches. As Orochimaru shares these same properties, he is therefore Malicious, QED.
So this is what Itachi meant by Primal Malice.
- Location
- Can’t say. I know my momentum.
Hehehe, so do we lol.
I'm not sure how much I'm actually outraged by this. On the one hand, she's our aunt, but on the other hand it's because of her and the elders that we got shafted as a child. I guess we'll just rez her and call it even.
Man, Konan is probably the most adult Akatsuki I've seen yet. She seems almost reasonable (for a ninja).
Question (not important, just for my personal curiosity): what does Sasori look like in this scene? Is he humanoid? Is he clearly flesh-and-blood? Is he clearly a puppet?
Nooo not Minori! Mari would be crushed if Oro killed her. Bad Snuncle Warcrimes!
Hah! Get played you traitor!
BTW, isn't it funny how the literal foreigners are more loyal to Leaf than one of the Sannin?
Man, we need to hang out with Sasuke some more. He seems like a cool dude.
Oh yeah. The great FOOM revelation.
On the one hand, absolutely yes please, I love gyōza; on the other hand, screw you Snuncle Warcrimes, I'm not touching your gyōza with a ten-foot pole
Man, his socials are worse than ours. Or he just doesn't care and is just going for the lolz.
OK, so Deidara also has crap socials. Makes sense.
Yup. We would probably get along pretty well with Konan. I wonder if we could strike some kind of bargain with Akatsuki whereby we ally for the sole purpose of eliminating Orochimaru, and then fight it out for control of the rift. It would (at least temporarily) get rid of two of our S-rank problems.
OK loverboy, of course you'd say that.
You tell'em Snuncle Warcrimes. Agreed.
Thanks for the update, @Paperclipped. It was good as usual! I definitely appreciate how you and @eaglejarl and @Velorien are still posting interludes at the regular times. It's one of the best parts of my week.