Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
I'm not sure taking over a continental country is ideal, but taking over it economically I could get behind, if not militarily.
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
- Location
- Yes.
It's a small, unimportant block of land with a minimal ninja force relative to other countries. It's perfect for practicing our skills!
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Sure, but you do remember what happened to the last people that tried that, right?
- Location
- Yes.
Yeah, cuz they were loud about it. I'm proposing we take over the existing ninja force/Yakuza, not perform mass recruitment of missing-nin and civilians.
Jello_Raptor
(Confirmed Jelly)
- Location
- Left of Center
Still it's in a position where we are easily accessed by ninja forces from the major nations.
Securing a land border is much harder than a sea border.
- Location
- Yes.
From what I've read scorch squads target villages in rival nations to prevent said country's ninja force from becoming too powerful. Iron doesn't have an actual hidden village, so...???
Omake: Bingo Book Addendum - Chiseika-dan
- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
Omake: Bingo Book Addendum - Chiseika-dan
(Credit to @Twofoe for the name and @ChronOblivion, @HoratioVonBecker, and @Cariyaga for a lot of the specifics)
(This is written as if by some poor mook who can't help but be kind of impressed but is having to put together a report for an extremely salty Yagura, so not everything here is meant to be taken as omake-canonical
)
Report Authorized 3/14/15 by order of Yondiame Mizukage Yagura
Overview:
A.k.a "Team Uplift" (likely a reference to their aerial base of operations), an organization comprising:
Chiseika-dan came to prominence recently due to a high-profile contribution towards foiling of a plot by the missing-nin group Akatsuki to acquire the jinkuurichi of the Nine-Tails bijuu. They have since been in conflict with that organization openly. Intelligence suggests additional operations against Orochimaru of the Sannin for reasons unknown, and against covert operation personnel of hidden villages including Mist itself.
Standard engagement procedure:
Immediate escape and evasion, unless specifically engaged in a mission against the organization. Suicide is recommended if an agent is being actively targeted; due to the skills outlined below, Chiseika-dan is enormously capable with regards to nonlethal capture, information extraction, and long-term mental modification.
Prominent members:
"Kagome" "Uncle Watchful" (real name unknown)
A violently insane sealmaster believed to have had contact with members of Uzu before its disappearance, "Kagome" has somehow acquired a reputation among civilians as a kindly or protective uncle. He responds with near-immediate death or dismemberment towards anything he perceives as a threat to "his people".
He is also an elite sealmaster, responsible for some of the organization's more destructive tools (see Incident Case File 10423: Destruction of the Haruka Bridge). He is believed to be heavily involved in maintaining the group's spy and information networks, as areas where covert ops agents are dispatched to often receive "security upgrades" even before the agents arrive. Like his protégé Kurosawa, he does not customarily engage directly, but equips the rest of the team with seals that our experts tell us only a madman would even think to research.
In the handful of times he is known to have taken the field, he is reported to have engaged enemy ninja in pleasant conversation under disguises for extended periods before executing rapid-fire he and often highly destructive assault and escape maneuvers. Reason for adopting a woman's name unknown, possibly homage to a past lover.
Wakahisa "Vampire of the Mist" Noburi
Master of the Vampiric Dew bloodline, Wakahisa habitually covers large areas in a thick mist using what is believed to be a variant of the well-known Hiding in the Mist jutsu, through which he can sense and drain the chakra of anyone within the cloud. Almost all agents coming into contact with him report having rapidly lost consciousness and waking up several hours later with all of their equipment and cash gone, occasionally replaced by taunting notes (frequently in the form of haiku).
Those who do manage to confront him report having found themselves being quickly convinced to surrender, and facing a barrage of high-level water- and lightning-element techniques launched from a platoon of clones should they refuse.
Based on his frequent appearances as the public face of the organization and the presence of abnormally dense areas of mist corresponding to the disappearances of several prominent Kiri ninja who later were discovered to have joined his group, Wakahisa is believed to be the main force for recruiting new members into Chiseika-dan.
Intel from interrogated civilians also describes Wakahisa as an accomplished medic-nin, including with regard to mental issues, which leads our analysts to suspect forcible brainwashing as a recruitment strategy. See mission debrief file Momochi Zabuza 247.
Mori "Frozen Tempest" Keiko
Another missing nin from a prominent Mist clan, Mori reportedly displays an aberrant level of creativity and initiative for a wielder of the Frozen Skein, as well as the extremely rare capability of utilizing her bloodline for extended periods mid-combat.
Like her comrade Ishihara, Mori shrouds herself in AOE jutsu for simultaneous offense and defense. In this case they are wind jutsu, which deflect almost all ranged attacks and prevent most melee fighters from approaching, while carrying extremely dangerous seal-modified weapon assaults. Eyewitness reports of her fight with Orochimaru confirm that she has access to the Pangolin summoning scroll. Similar reports from Suna's long-range observations of her defeat of Deidara and Sasori of Akatsuki indicate that she is able to emerge unscathed from explosions "the size of Konoha" - her method for doing so is unknown at this time, partially no nearby observers survived.
Kurosawa "Poor Man's Jizo" Hazou
Despite having been largely estranged from his clan even before betraying his home, Kurosawa is yet another blight on the record of one of Mists's notable families. Believed to be the source of much of Chiseika-dan's success due to his contribution of advanced sealwork and technique development, as well as sophisticated tactics and overall strategy, Kurosawa is a top priority for capture or assassination.
The enormous range and impact of his inventions has prompted two summits of the Kages to discuss international cooperation to eliminate him, one of which was held in utter secrecy and both of which he interrupted personally.
Out of all the techniques he has created for all the elements, the one he can be depended upon to use is a modified Multiple Earth Wall which creates a variety of materials with a precision and complexity which can turn a primitive village into a fortified castle in seconds or instantaneously imprison an entire battalion.
He is particularly fond of mocking and mimicking famous abilities through his seacraft and ninjutsu, and due to his bloodline he possesses devastating taijutsu prowess. Kurosawa is believed to spend a majority of his time researching in the floating fortress of his own design and maintaining the organization's merchant and spy networks rather than carrying out missions directly.
Inoue "Heartbreaker" Mari
An ex-jounin of mist, known before her desertion as a taijutsu, genjutsu, and seduction/infiltration expert. Initially the leader of the group, that torch was passed to her student Kurosawa. Based on intel the group has acted on and reports from survivors of confrontations, Inoue is known to have infiltrated black-ops facilities and secure jutsu libraries in several Hidden Villages, and is believed to be the single most vital point in of Chiseika-dan's intelligence network.
Rumored to have a daughter, name unknown, who remains under constant guard at the group's floating fortress. Has demonstrated the use of wind, water, and lightning techniques as well as genjutsu techniques which did not appear to require her to remain still or to target those in line of sight. Her genjutsu/seduction skillset likely contributes to forcible recruitment into the organization.
Ishihara "Bonfire of Youth" Akane
A Leaf missing nin focusing on extreme-speed fire-based nintaijutsu. Notable for her signature Flame Shroud jutsu, which ignites the air and ground around her for up to 30m at an enormous temperature and her resulting near-total immunity to both water- and fire-element jutsu. Wind-element jutsu have also been noted to have a reduced effect. Reports are conflicted as to whether activation of the Flame Shroud strictly requires yelling "behold the flames of my youth" or if it is simply a personal preference or intimidation tactic.
Her threat level is compounded by an immense level of physical stamina, such that she has been reported to happily chase jounin squad leaders who are too cowardly to kill themselves until they drop from exhaustion, while engaging in psychological warfare by constantly calling out promises of mercy and offers to "join Cheseika-dan so you too can fan the flames of your youth!"
(Credit to @Twofoe for the name and @ChronOblivion, @HoratioVonBecker, and @Cariyaga for a lot of the specifics)
(This is written as if by some poor mook who can't help but be kind of impressed but is having to put together a report for an extremely salty Yagura, so not everything here is meant to be taken as omake-canonical
)Report Authorized 3/14/15 by order of Yondiame Mizukage Yagura
Overview:
A.k.a "Team Uplift" (likely a reference to their aerial base of operations), an organization comprising:
- Six founding missing nin members, four of whom are known Mist traitors.
- Approximately two dozen other missing nin or liaisons from allied groups.
- An unknown number of civilian contacts, especially in the merchant class, serving as revenue and information sources, spread throughout the Elemental and Minor Nations.
Chiseika-dan came to prominence recently due to a high-profile contribution towards foiling of a plot by the missing-nin group Akatsuki to acquire the jinkuurichi of the Nine-Tails bijuu. They have since been in conflict with that organization openly. Intelligence suggests additional operations against Orochimaru of the Sannin for reasons unknown, and against covert operation personnel of hidden villages including Mist itself.
Standard engagement procedure:
Immediate escape and evasion, unless specifically engaged in a mission against the organization. Suicide is recommended if an agent is being actively targeted; due to the skills outlined below, Chiseika-dan is enormously capable with regards to nonlethal capture, information extraction, and long-term mental modification.
Prominent members:
"Kagome" "Uncle Watchful" (real name unknown)
A violently insane sealmaster believed to have had contact with members of Uzu before its disappearance, "Kagome" has somehow acquired a reputation among civilians as a kindly or protective uncle. He responds with near-immediate death or dismemberment towards anything he perceives as a threat to "his people".
He is also an elite sealmaster, responsible for some of the organization's more destructive tools (see Incident Case File 10423: Destruction of the Haruka Bridge). He is believed to be heavily involved in maintaining the group's spy and information networks, as areas where covert ops agents are dispatched to often receive "security upgrades" even before the agents arrive. Like his protégé Kurosawa, he does not customarily engage directly, but equips the rest of the team with seals that our experts tell us only a madman would even think to research.
In the handful of times he is known to have taken the field, he is reported to have engaged enemy ninja in pleasant conversation under disguises for extended periods before executing rapid-fire he and often highly destructive assault and escape maneuvers. Reason for adopting a woman's name unknown, possibly homage to a past lover.
Wakahisa "Vampire of the Mist" Noburi
Master of the Vampiric Dew bloodline, Wakahisa habitually covers large areas in a thick mist using what is believed to be a variant of the well-known Hiding in the Mist jutsu, through which he can sense and drain the chakra of anyone within the cloud. Almost all agents coming into contact with him report having rapidly lost consciousness and waking up several hours later with all of their equipment and cash gone, occasionally replaced by taunting notes (frequently in the form of haiku).
Those who do manage to confront him report having found themselves being quickly convinced to surrender, and facing a barrage of high-level water- and lightning-element techniques launched from a platoon of clones should they refuse.
Based on his frequent appearances as the public face of the organization and the presence of abnormally dense areas of mist corresponding to the disappearances of several prominent Kiri ninja who later were discovered to have joined his group, Wakahisa is believed to be the main force for recruiting new members into Chiseika-dan.
Intel from interrogated civilians also describes Wakahisa as an accomplished medic-nin, including with regard to mental issues, which leads our analysts to suspect forcible brainwashing as a recruitment strategy. See mission debrief file Momochi Zabuza 247.
Mori "Frozen Tempest" Keiko
Another missing nin from a prominent Mist clan, Mori reportedly displays an aberrant level of creativity and initiative for a wielder of the Frozen Skein, as well as the extremely rare capability of utilizing her bloodline for extended periods mid-combat.
Like her comrade Ishihara, Mori shrouds herself in AOE jutsu for simultaneous offense and defense. In this case they are wind jutsu, which deflect almost all ranged attacks and prevent most melee fighters from approaching, while carrying extremely dangerous seal-modified weapon assaults. Eyewitness reports of her fight with Orochimaru confirm that she has access to the Pangolin summoning scroll. Similar reports from Suna's long-range observations of her defeat of Deidara and Sasori of Akatsuki indicate that she is able to emerge unscathed from explosions "the size of Konoha" - her method for doing so is unknown at this time, partially no nearby observers survived.
Kurosawa "Poor Man's Jizo" Hazou
Despite having been largely estranged from his clan even before betraying his home, Kurosawa is yet another blight on the record of one of Mists's notable families. Believed to be the source of much of Chiseika-dan's success due to his contribution of advanced sealwork and technique development, as well as sophisticated tactics and overall strategy, Kurosawa is a top priority for capture or assassination.
The enormous range and impact of his inventions has prompted two summits of the Kages to discuss international cooperation to eliminate him, one of which was held in utter secrecy and both of which he interrupted personally.
Out of all the techniques he has created for all the elements, the one he can be depended upon to use is a modified Multiple Earth Wall which creates a variety of materials with a precision and complexity which can turn a primitive village into a fortified castle in seconds or instantaneously imprison an entire battalion.
He is particularly fond of mocking and mimicking famous abilities through his seacraft and ninjutsu, and due to his bloodline he possesses devastating taijutsu prowess. Kurosawa is believed to spend a majority of his time researching in the floating fortress of his own design and maintaining the organization's merchant and spy networks rather than carrying out missions directly.
Inoue "Heartbreaker" Mari
An ex-jounin of mist, known before her desertion as a taijutsu, genjutsu, and seduction/infiltration expert. Initially the leader of the group, that torch was passed to her student Kurosawa. Based on intel the group has acted on and reports from survivors of confrontations, Inoue is known to have infiltrated black-ops facilities and secure jutsu libraries in several Hidden Villages, and is believed to be the single most vital point in of Chiseika-dan's intelligence network.
Rumored to have a daughter, name unknown, who remains under constant guard at the group's floating fortress. Has demonstrated the use of wind, water, and lightning techniques as well as genjutsu techniques which did not appear to require her to remain still or to target those in line of sight. Her genjutsu/seduction skillset likely contributes to forcible recruitment into the organization.
Ishihara "Bonfire of Youth" Akane
A Leaf missing nin focusing on extreme-speed fire-based nintaijutsu. Notable for her signature Flame Shroud jutsu, which ignites the air and ground around her for up to 30m at an enormous temperature and her resulting near-total immunity to both water- and fire-element jutsu. Wind-element jutsu have also been noted to have a reduced effect. Reports are conflicted as to whether activation of the Flame Shroud strictly requires yelling "behold the flames of my youth" or if it is simply a personal preference or intimidation tactic.
Her threat level is compounded by an immense level of physical stamina, such that she has been reported to happily chase jounin squad leaders who are too cowardly to kill themselves until they drop from exhaustion, while engaging in psychological warfare by constantly calling out promises of mercy and offers to "join Cheseika-dan so you too can fan the flames of your youth!"
Last edited:
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Omake: Bingo Book Addendum - Chiseika-dan
(Credit to @Twofoe for the name and @ChronOblivion, @HoratioVonBecker, and @Cariyaga for a lot of the specifics)
(This is written as if by some poor mook who can't help but be kind of impressed but is having to put together a report for an extremely salty Yagura, so not everything here is meant to be taken as omake-canonical
Report Authorized 3/14/15 by order of Yondiame Suikage Yagura
Overview:
A.k.a "Team Uplift" (likely a reference to their aerial base of operations), an organization comprising:
Additionally, they are rumored to hold hundreds of farmers and townsfolk from a variety of countries hostage in an undetectable flying fortress, claiming to be "protecting" them.
- Six founding missing nin members, four of whom are known Mist traitors,
- Approximately two dozen other missing nin or liaisons from allied groups
- An unknown number of civilian contacts, especially in the merchant class, serving as revenue and information sources, spread throughout the Elemental and Minor Nations.
Chiseika-dan came to prominence recently due to a high-profile contribution towards foiling of a plot by the missing-nin group Akatsuki to acquire the jinkuurichi of the Nine-Tails bijuu. They have since been in conflict with that organization openly. Intelligence suggests additional operations against Orochimaru of the Sannin for reasons unknown, and against covert operation personnel of hidden villages including Mist itself.
Standard engagement procedure:
Immediate escape and evasion, unless specifically engaged in a mission against the organization. Suicide is recommended if an agent is being actively targeted; due to the skills outlined below, Chiseika-dan is enormously capable with regards to nonlethal capture, information extraction, and long-term mental modification.
Prominent members:
"Kagome" "Uncle Watchful" (real name unknown)
A violently insane sealmaster believed to have had contact with members of Uzu before its disappearance, "Kagome" has somehow acquired a reputation among civilians as a kindly or protective uncle. He responds with near-immediate death or dismemberment towards anything he perceives as a threat to "his people". He is also an elite sealmaster, responsible for some of the organization's more destructive tools (see Incident Case File 10423: Destruction of the Haruka Bridge). He is believed to be heavily involved in maintaining the group's spy and information networks, as areas where covert ops agents are dispatched to often receive "security upgrades" even before the agents arrive. Like his protégé Kurosawa, he does not customarily engage directly, but equips the rest of the team with seals that our experts tell us only a madman would even think to research. In the handful of times he is known to have taken the field, he is reported to have engaged enemy ninja in pleasant conversation under disguises for extended periods before executing rapid-fire he and often highly destructive assault and escape maneuvers. Reason for adopting a woman's name unknown, possibly homage to a past lover.
Wakahisa "Vampire of the Mist" Noburi
Master of the Vampiric Dew bloodline, Wakahisa habitually covers large areas in a thick mist using what is believed to be a variant of the well-known Hiding in the Mist jutsu, through which he can sense and drain the chakra of anyone within the cloud. Almost all agents coming into contact with him report having rapidly lost consciousness and waking up several hours later with all of their equipment and cash gone, occasionally replaced by taunting notes (frequently in the form of haiku). Those who do manage to confront him report having found themselves being quickly convinced to surrender, and facing a barrage of high-level water- and lightning-element techniques launched from a platoon of clones should they refuse. Based on his frequent appearances as the public face of the organization and the presence of abnormally dense areas of mist corresponding to the disappearances of several prominent Kiri ninja who later were discovered to have joined his group, Wakahisa is believed to be the main force for recruiting new members into Chiseika-dan. Anecdotal stories from interrogated civilians also describe Wakahisa as an accomplished medic-nin, including with regard to mental issues, which leads our analysts to suspect forcible brainwashing as a recruitment strategy. See mission debrief file Momochi Zabuza 247.
Mori "Frozen Tempest" Keiko
Another missing nin from a prominent Mist clan, Mori reportedly displays an aberrant level of creativity and initiative for a wielder of the Frozen Skein, as well as the extremely rare capability of utilizing her bloodline for extended periods mid-combat. Like her comrade Isihara, Mori shrouds herself in AOE jutsu for simultaneous offense and defense. In this case they are wind jutsu, which deflect almost all ranged attacks and prevent most melted fighters from approaching, while carrying extremely dangerous seal-modified weapon assaults. Eyewitness reports of her fight with Orochimaru confirm that she has access to the Pangolin summoning scroll. Similar reports from Suna's long-range observations of her defeat of Deidara and Sasori of Akatsuki indicate that she is able to emerge unscathed from explosions "the size of Konoha" - her method for doing so is unknown at this time, partially no nearby observers survived.
Kurosawa "Poor Man's Jizo" Hazou
Despite having been largely estranged from his clan even before betraying his home, Kurosawa is yet another blight on the record of one of Mists's notable families. Believed to be the source of much of Chiseika-dan's success due to his contribution of advanced sealwork and technique development, as well as sophisticated tactics and overall strategy, Kurosawa is a top priority for capture or assassination. The enormous range and impact of his inventions has prompted two summits of the Kages to discuss international cooperation to eliminate him, one of which was held in utter secrecy and both of which he interrupted personally. Out of all the techniques he has created for all the elements, the one he can be depended upon to use is a modified Multiple Earth Wall which creates a variety of materials with a precision and complexity which can turn a primitive village into a fortified castle in seconds or instantaneously imprison an entire battalion. He is particularly fond of mocking and mimicking famous abilities through his seacraft and ninjutsu, and due to his bloodline he possesses devastating taijutsu prowess. Kurosawa is believed to spend a majority of his time researching in the floating fortress of his own design and maintaining the organization's merchant and spy networks rather than carrying out missions directly.
Inoue "Heartbreaker" Mari
Ex-jounin of mist, known before her desertion as a taijutsu, genjutsu, and seduction expert. Initially the leader of the group, that torch was passed to her student Kurosawa. Based on intel the group has acted on and reports from survivors of confrontations, Inoue is known to have infiltrated black-ops facilities and secure jutsu libraries in several Hidden Villages, and is believed to be the single most vital point in of Chiseika-dan's intelligence network. Rumored to have a daughter, name unknown, who remains under constant guard at the group's floating fortress. Has demonstrated the use of wind, water, and lightning techniques as well as genjutsu techniques which did not appear to require her to remain still or to target those in line of sight. Her genjutsu/seduction skillset likely contributes to forcible recruitment into the organization.
Isihara "Bonfire of Youth" Akane
A Leaf missing nin focusing on extreme-speed fire-based nintaijutsu. Notable for her signature Flame Shroud jutsu, which ignites the air and ground around her for up to 30m at an enormous temperature and her resulting near-total immunity to both water- and fire-element jutsu. Wind-element jutsu have also been noted to have a reduced effect. Reports are conflicted as to whether activation of the Flame Shroud strictly requires yelling "behold the flames of my youth" or if it is simply a personal preference or intimidation tactic. Her threat level is compounded by an immense level of physical stamina, such that she has been reported to happily chase jounin squad leaders who are too cowardly to kill themselves until they drop from exhaustion, while constantly calling out promises of mercy and offers to "join Cheseika-dan so you too can fan the flames of your youth!"
This is so beautiful. I knew you'd be able to do more with this concept than I could.
Future Noburi is a complete troll
Oh shit we recruited Zabuza.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Oh my goodness that was amazing.
We need to look into techniques to specialize the members of our party better for durability, stamina, etc. There's gotta be something between "basic ninja" and "sage using natural chakra" for durability usable broadly, right? Plus I'd like to see something to grant greater stamina beyond "more points in chakra" to Akane...
We need to look into techniques to specialize the members of our party better for durability, stamina, etc. There's gotta be something between "basic ninja" and "sage using natural chakra" for durability usable broadly, right? Plus I'd like to see something to grant greater stamina beyond "more points in chakra" to Akane...
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
"Improvisation". However, I haven't seen it in the wild, so it's possible that another word is more commonly used. (Trust not Google Translate - it liessss. At minimum, go with a dictionary that uses the EDICT database in some form. I like www.tangorin.com for combining a bunch of useful dictionaries and a decent kanji search tool.)
[wipes tear from eye] What a time to be alive...
- Location
- ?
Omake: International Cooperation
Jello_Raptor
(Confirmed Jelly)
- Location
- Left of Center
Omake: International Cooperation
"Good, Rain aside, it seems like we've agreed upon basic rules for interacting border patrols. As for Rain, their lack of attendance and their policy of immediately murdering everyone who sets foot on their land seems clear enough. Now we should move on to Team Upraise and ..."
"They call themselves Team Uplift" interrupted the Raikage ", we believe the name is a reference to how they lifted up their floating fortress thing."
"Ahem, thank you. As I was saying, next up is Team Uplift. They seem to be a terrorist organization that is built to provide technologies that limit our control over our civilian populations. Lately they've been providing civilian criminal organizations with access to civilian usable seals, including basic weaponry and tools to disable ninjas."
"Exactly! As Sarutobi just said, this cannot stand!" said the Tsuchikage, steamrolling over the Hokage's affronted groan "They are trying to pervert nature and lift the lot of civilians above that of the ninja. Iwa will happily stand with any other nation willing to fight for our society. We have let this blight on our world last long enough."
"Oh? I take it you can't defend yourself from some pathetic peasants Ōnoki? Does your back hurt too much? Look, let me be brunt. Hidden Salt doesn't really care about this Team Uplift, if you all are having trouble dealing with them, so be it. We don't see any point to cooperating here, anything we do would help all of you more than it would help us."
"So the Seokage is a big talker now! It must be easy playing tough when you hide behind Konoha and Suna. These terrorists are currently floating around Mist and Lightning, but they won't stay there. You're off between Wind and Tea, far away for now, but don't expect us to help when they eventually come for you."
"I don't hear Gaara or Yagura complaining. Why are you acting like a fresh faced genin suddenly fighting Zabuza?" Zabuza, currently behind the Mizukage, seemed to be unable to decide whether to look pleased or annoyed, and ended up just looking constipated.
"Look Ōnoki, we might be at peace, but we're still enemies. We can be polite for now, but it's simple. We all put our resources into a joint effort like this, but it helps you more than it helps us, leaving us worse off in relative terms. Those are resources we could use to fight your ninja when they try to kill our farmers or assassinate our Daimyo.
"Frankly, there's nothing to gain by cooperating here. They're holed up that fortress of theirs, and the only people who can even get there are our jinchuuriki. It's easier to just defend our civilians and shoo them off. It's the cost of doing business and even then it's no worse than a slightly larger than usual population of chakra beasts."
"They're undermining our control of the civilians! It's a matter of principle!"
"Really? All they seem to be doing is selling some storage scrolls that civilians can use. That's what you can't deal with? You should be doing what we're doing and just making them yourselves. Our civilians pay us for the privilege and now we have the luxuries we want, whenever we want, and for cheaper than before. ..."
Sarutobi leaned back in his chair and let the argument flow over him. Since the beginning of the meeting something had been scratching at the back of his mind, a vague sense of unease with no obvious cause. He'd not survived this long by ignoring his instincts and a room filled with some of his most powerful enemies didn't seem like a good place to start.
First things first, a roll call. This was a five kage summit, with each kage allowed one guard. Going around the table they had Stone, Cloud, Salt, Mist, and Rock. Including himself that made ... six. Damnit.
"Dispel!"
Suddenly the Seokage disappeared, only to be replaced by a face right from the bingo books. Hazou Kurosawa.
With a grin Hazou moved on, "Whoops. Looks like you figured it out! Congratulations Sarutobi sensei, you win this round of 'Find the Imposter', and it only took you 4 days of constant meetings! The rest of you should be ashamed. Seriously, there's no land between Wind and Tea, it's just a body of water."
Of course, by this point Hazou had numerous blades and one purple wiggly thing at his neck ready to take his life. Or possibly something else, in the case of the purple wiggly thing. Heedless of the danger, Hazou took a sip of his sake (where did he get sake?) and waited patiently for a response.
Evidently all the other kage were just as dumbstruck and, lacking the patience Sarutobi had cultivated over years, Hazou decided to press onward. "Look, despite the fact that this entire session was convened just to figure out how to murder me, I've been acting in good faith. I'm not here to kill all of you, and all the points I just made were the honest truth. There's nothing we've been doing that you couldn't also be doing. Giving your civilians more power is good for both them and you."
"Anyway, it's been fun. Peace out." and then Hazou crumbled into a pile of rocks.
Last edited:
Jello_Raptor
(Confirmed Jelly)
- Location
- Left of Center
We have what? 2-3 separate omake continuities? @OliWhail's one, mine with the far future shenanigans, and @MadScientist's which are probably all from the same universe, it's just that the universe is nonsensical multiverse. Not to mention that Oli and I have both written stories in each other's settings.
It's kinda nuts. And I've got another one I've been thinking about, but the world building is incomplete.
Edit: Oh wait. Oli's most recent omake is set in the same continuity as his "A Team Leader Is You 2" omake, which is in the same continuity as my far future shenanigans. And my most recent omake is set as part of the same continuity as OliWhail's most recent omake.
Were they always the same continuity this whole time?
Last edited:
- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
Pfffffffft. Oh, omake2, truly a thing of beauty.
You got a better phrase for it, punk?
That's what I get for writing omake at 2 am ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Fixed, thank you.
Is he our sensei? I guess we did learn from Jiraiya, who learned from Sarutobi. I'm sure that revelation will make the other Kage very happy and not at all suspicious
Yeah someone should go through and diagram all this out, or at least put them into lists.
E: Thinking about it, the best graphic would probably be like a Pokemon type-interaction chart, with different colors for "explicitly in the same continuity", "compatible with", and "contradictory"
Last edited:
There are at least two continuities in my omake, that I can remember off the top of my head:
[GONE WRONG] -> The Day We Lost Our Teacher
and
The Chunin Exam Arc in 500 Words or Less -> Orochimaru Wants to Battle (not threadmarked)
There might be others that I'm forgetting.
- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
Your assault on sound one is at least compatible with the Team Leader is You series, and the Dao of Kagome fits pretty much anywhere.
Found it:
Orochimaru: I like Uchiha! They're comfy and easy to wear!
Orochimaru: I like Uchiha! They're comfy and easy to wear!
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Voting is closed.
CounterBot by eaglejarl, version 1.4
Plan name: Silver Tongue, Velvet Cloak
Voters: @Cariyaga, @faflec, @OliWhail, @Orisha91, @ProperAttorney, @WheelbarrowWight
Num votes: 6
Plan name: Village hidden in the Crater.
Voters: @Dark as Silver
Num votes: 1
Number of voters: 7
CounterBot by eaglejarl, version 1.4
Plan name: Silver Tongue, Velvet Cloak
Voters: @Cariyaga, @faflec, @OliWhail, @Orisha91, @ProperAttorney, @WheelbarrowWight
Num votes: 6
Plan name: Village hidden in the Crater.
Voters: @Dark as Silver
Num votes: 1
Number of voters: 7
- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
I choose to include this in the continuity of my previous omake - I did specify that Keiko and Orochi-tan had a fight, after all
Keep it up, man, we'll need it someday soon
- Location
- Leeds
Of course. And I'll be ready with the marshmallows so we have something to cook on the ashes.
- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
Another omake-bug just flew into my ear, one in which Iron Nerve users unlock a Sharingan of the same level as anyone they fight for the duration of that fight.
Does anyone remember whether you had to have the correct affinity to use a copied jutsu in canon?
Does anyone remember whether you had to have the correct affinity to use a copied jutsu in canon?
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
You do.
Hey, remember when Kakashi copied an ice element jutsu?
Good times.
Jello_Raptor
(Confirmed Jelly)
- Location
- Left of Center
Not really but that was meant to be both casual, somewhat respectful, and slightly taunting. Something to the effect of "I just learned how to make my disguises better from this entire escapade".