Today was a special day for Kei. Perhaps the most special of them all, insofar as she could not remember meeting Ami, and insofar as the life-changing experience that was Team Uplift had taken place over months and years, not to be pinned down to a single grand event. They had slain a chakra alligator; they had called each other by first name; they had saved each other's lives, and celebrated each other's birthdays, and given true names to their bonds, and been entered into Leaf's register as Gōketsu together, and Kei would hold every one of those moments close in her heart—but they were not Team Uplift, only its evolution.
Kei had already had her wedding. She would, in all likelihood, never have another. She had never given her heart to Shikamaru, and never would. His effusive thanks for that fact, after her months of desperately attempting to warp herself, were burned into her memory. Yet she… loved him nonetheless, as the best friend whose intellectual intimacy was a kind of joy unknown to the literature. Even then, that wedding had been a shadow of today.
It would be shallow to consider this merely a celebration of romantic love. It was the culmination of Kei's agency. She had not chosen to fall in love with Tenten; the literature was correct, at least, when it described romantic love as a force beyond any mortal's power to predict or control. Yet every step after that, every hand hesitantly reached out, every whisper of surrender and every gift of strength, every disaster overcome in spite of everything she was, was
her. More than the Frozen Skein. More than the timid, helpless creature that her past and her own weakness had made of her. Choice after choice after choice had built a relationship that had miraculously survived—dare she say it, flourished—until today could write it into law.
Just as much, it was a celebration of Tenten, more than the pillar of inner strength and clarity like which she first appeared. Tenten, whose past relationships had been with a pack of clowns who accepted her despite her limitations—with warmth, yes, and affection, but still
in spite of who she was. Kei was in love with the silence, with the rich, steadily less foreign language inseparable from Tenten's every action. She was in love with Tenten's trust, with the courage and fragility of a girl betrayed not by humanity like Kei but by the world itself. She was in love with playfulness so subtle it made Kei's deadpan seem like a crude imitation, with single-minded resolve pointed at anything that
mattered like a kunai seeking an enemy's heart, and with the soft blush of embarrassment even when they were alone and nothing existed but each other. Tenten, forever herself, had earned today as much as Kei.
And Snowflake… in all the world, only Kei could begin to understand what today meant to Snowflake.
They had designed the ceremony together. Like all the best things in life, the Commitment Ceremony was a modular structure, allowing for extensive customisation in every separate instance as long as key guidelines were followed and no element of Leaf-permitted kami appeasement or other consecration ritual was omitted. While the secular ceremony very deliberately made no reference to the Will of Fire or associated religious elements, standard precautions like the goldfish sacrifice and the nibbling of the rod were merely common sense for anyone affirming a lifelong bond. (Alas, once again Kei would be deprived of the shark.)
In accordance with certain suggestions made by Ami (whose absence was the one thing that rendered today less than perfect), they had completed the mandatory ritual elements in the first half of the ceremony, and now all the guests were seated on benches in the broad indoor space of the Five Flowers Hall. Overhead, the Chandeliers of Prosperity burned brightly, their dancing flames warding away the spirits of deprivation that preyed on improperly-conducted transactions. At the far end of the hall, the Lectern of Timely Wisdom was occupied by a grinning Anko, who had promised to behave, just this once, in exchange for a show to remember. At the other end, mighty double doors were closed but not barred, as that would not have served the ceremony, and the Sigil of Offering was drawn across them in beeswax to feed the hungry ghosts before they could take an interest in the love being given freely inside.
Seated on the left side, Hazō, Noburi, Akane, Kagome, Yuno, and the requested painted effigy of Ami waited. It cut into Kei to see Akane and Kagome sitting further apart than the others, as if unconsciously making room for someone who was not there. Kei and Mari had fought the night before her wedding, if crushing domination could be called a fight, and on the day, a trace of that darkness had remained in Mari's eyes. Today, she had been asked to absent herself altogether.
She was no one now, Kei reminded herself. The longing was a lie.
Trivial. Unimportant. Irrelevant. Tenten, radiant before her, deserved all of Kei's attention and more. The cherry-red cheongsam, evocative of their first date but with gold tracery that spoke of greater confidence, was a perfect counter-match for Kei's own frost-blue dress (of course there were snowflake designs; why had the tailor even asked?). Close-fitting in all the right areas and flowing smoothly elsewhere, it made Tenten enough of a distraction that a less sanguine person might have struggled to care about anything else. Snowflake, meanwhile, had chosen white, with more lace than could possibly be healthy for one person, and an elaborate blue ribbon that matched Kei's own theme (in Isan, it evoked the image of a flower opening on its first spring, but to Kei the arrangement looked unmistakeably like a pair of kitty ears).
"Let's get ready to rumble, girls and girls!" Anko exclaimed from her position leaning alarmingly far over the lectern, deviating from the script violently but within tolerable limits (much like her outfit, a royal purple only a clan ninja could afford, with enough breast and leg on display that Tenten had needed a minute to recover).
"Innn the left cornerrr, it's the Dauntless, the Icy Maiden, Lady Nara Kei who just legally changed her name, buggered if I know why—an experience these three girls sadly won't get to share unless they take my advice and diversify—and who holds half of Leaf in her iron grip when she's not holding lover after lover!"
Kei could feel herself turn crimson. Why had Ami, whose sworn duty it had been to restrain or at least redirect Anko, had to disappear at the last moment? Or, she shuddered to think, did the effigy with the ^_^ mask imply that this was all just as planned?
"Lady Nara Kei, what do you have to say to your beloveds and to the fine men and women who froze their asses off to get here on time and are now expecting to be warmed up with some hot, hot love?"
Kei forced herself to relax. Deep breaths. It was only Anko. The humiliation was temporary. The bonds to be affirmed here were permanent. The revenge, when it came, would be delicious.
"Tenten," Kei began, allowing everything else to fade out of existence as insignificant. "I have always been an outsider. To the Mori, with my inability to socialise like a normal person. To humanity, as a bearer of the Frozen Skein which walls me off from thinking how others think. To Leaf, as a stranger from a strange land. I have been fortunate beyond words to find, despite my alienness, love and acceptance from those who are now the Gōketsu.
"You gave me more. To you, I was not Kei the former Mori, to be loved despite my many foibles. I was not family forged in the fires of battle, where in a counterfactual world anybody could have taken my place and been similarly blessed. I was simply me, and that was enough for you to make me special.
"You chose me, freely, without concern for anything but me. You did not change how you treated me when I went from being a dubious missing-nin to briefly being Leaf's princess, or even when I became another's wife. You never asked about my circumstances, except out of concern or in an effort to understand me better. You were patient when I spoke too much, which is always, when I was unable to perceive or understand your feelings, when I was unable to give you what any other could, or when I failed to balance my commitments and give you the attention you deserved.
"You taught me things I was incapable of learning without you. You taught me that silence was also communication. You taught me that intuition and insight possessed equal power to intellectual analysis, if cultivated, and that each was capable of what seemed like miracles to the other. You taught me a language of emotion that I have only just begun to speak. And, of course, you taught me passion. I never knew someone like me was capable of loving people as much as I love you.
"Tenten, I offer you my love as the aegis of the Advocate. Accept it, and it will be a shield against the darkness of the world. I swear that as your Advocate, I will protect you with all the power and authority at my command. As Nara, I will offer wisdom to guide your steps. As Gōketsu, I will obliterate the barriers that stand between you and happiness. As the Pangolin Summoner, I will make war upon your foes. As KEI, I will nourish you and your potential. If everything I have and everything I am is still not enough, then I shall take more and become more until I am the Advocate you deserve."
Tenten watched her silently. In the still depths of her amber eyes, there was only focus and control, and Kei knew that this was because, even deeper, there lay a storm that would consume both of them if given half a chance.
Kei savoured the confusion of all present as they watched her turn to Snowflake. Anko, who would have asked untimely questions, had been bribed extensively to keep her mouth shut and her mind on the job, if only for a few minutes.
"Snowflake, you are an impossible blessing and an impossible gift. Closer than a lover and closer than a sister, all the dictionaries I have swallowed do not contain a word to describe the bond you and I share. Every exchange between us, whether affectionate or aggressive, is special to me, and nothing excites me more than to see who you will become. I am honoured that my self is the seed from which you grow.
"Snowflake, I offer you my love as the aegis of the Advocate. Accept it, and it will be a key to set you free. I swear that as your Advocate, I will protect you with all the power and authority at my command. I will safeguard your agency, and cast down those who would deny it. I will offer you a place of safety in this world—not oblivion, but home. I will cut open a path to whatever future you seek, if that is your wish. I will witness your humanity, and allow none to reject it."
The promise had been composed this morning, to avoid Snowflake knowing it in advance, and that of course meant it would be ill-considered and rife with imperfection. Nevertheless, there were some things only Kei could say.
Was it time yet? No, too soon. Kei was no Ami when it came to mental timers, but even the shadow of the divine would be enough today. Yes, everything should come together nicely, assuming her buffers had been sufficiently well-judged.
"Well," Anko drawled, "that sure was a thing. But let's skip casually over the WTF and move to the rrrright cornerrr, where we find Lady Non-Lethal, the Princess of Penetration, the dread weaponmistress Tenten herself. Will she break her vow of silence for us, or is she saving it all for her not-wedding night?"
Yes, Kei decided as her ears caught fire, her revenge would be thorough and excruciating in its detail. Perhaps she could ask Hazō to design some custom seals. Or, alternatively, she might eschew elaborate schemes and just inform Yuno that Anko had spent more than two seconds gazing at Noburi. The luxury of choice was so fascinating that she nearly missed it when Tenten began to speak.
It was a rare pleasure to hear Tenten say more than a sentence at a time outside practice hours. Today, her voice was even, soft, and precise, though she paused at the end of every sentence as if to lock the next one in before anxiety or second-guessing could delete it. Kei understood that Shiori had helped her rehearse.
"I am an outsider." Tenten paused briefly. "I am
also an outsider. I had to learn my humanity, and I wasn't good at it. I am still not. I don't know how to say the things people want to hear. I tried hard to express myself, and when I couldn't satisfy them, I gave up. You never gave up, even when it hurt. I love that part of you.
"You are a genius. You must have seen straight away how flawed I was. How I was someone who could only stand and watch while you drew castles in the air with your words. I thought you would shrug and move on, and it would end there like it always did.
"You stayed. You saw that behind my inability, there was a person. You believed in me. That would have been enough of a miracle. But then you fell in love. I did not know what there was to fall in love with. But I needed you. I couldn't live without you. I had to give up on giving up. I had to be a person who could be with people.
"I am learning. Slowly. Who I can be. Maybe who I always could have been. Everywhere I turn, there is darkness, because before I did not know there could be light.
"You are my light, Kei. I have a future because of you. Not as a ninja. As Tenten. I can grow up because of you.
"Everything I am is yours. If you will be my Advocate, accept me as your Companion. I will be with you on your journey. No matter where. No matter when. I will be your strength when you are weak. I will be your peace when you are suffering. I will be your hope when you are empty. One day, I will be your light as you are mine."
Kei found, to her surprise and consternation, that the Five Flowers Hall had grown blurred. She could hardly eliminate this many witnesses to her tears. Then again, of those close enough to see, Tenten and Snowflake would understand, and Anko was already on her kill list. Now if she could only do something about this piercing bittersweet feeling in her chest…
Snowflake stepped forward slightly, limiting the lines of sight to Kei.
"Innnn the middle cornerrr..." Anko began.
"No, wait." She frowned, looking down at her wrist. "How does that even...? Maybe if you... no, if it's an irregular...
"Ah, screw it. Snowflake, do your thing."
Snowflake addressed the guests.
"For those of you whom I have not already met, my name is Snowflake. I am not a Nara social experiment or Kei playing pretend. I am what happens when a ninjutsu and a Bloodline Limit that were never meant to cross paths collide and cancel each other out. Despite the metaphysical connections, I am my own being, with my own memories and my own personality… and I stand here, as part of this ceremony, of my own free will."
She turned to Kei.
"I am not yet what I need to be, Kei. We are still so close that I cannot meaningfully offer to step closer. I… I love you, but it is not the love of an adult, born of agency and maturity. It is the default. It is the nameless bond we share, happy but non-consensual."
Snowflake took a very slow, deep breath.
"I accept you as my Advocate, and offer you my Companionship. I will always understand you like no other. I will always be your ally, no matter what comes. One day, when our paths have diverged enough, I will be able to love you as a real person."
Kei wiped her eyes with her sleeve as she took in the words. It was undignified, and drew people's attention to her feelings, but the time had come for clarity. There would be no second chance.
"Does anybody challenge this transaction?" Anko demanded in a roar that seemed like it made the entire building shake. Kei mentally awarded her a couple of points, bringing the total to -998.
SLAM.
The heavy double doors flew open.
"I do!"
-o-
Continued tomorrow.
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