Fuck. That makes him senior sealmaster, and possibly only three sealmasters who can produce skywalker seals.
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
Fuck. That makes him senior sealmaster, and possibly only three sealmasters who can produce skywalker seals.
- Location
- Germany
There is little reason for other clans to risk their seal masters on combat missions.
On the other hand, I would guess, that a part of the clan employed seal masters work on and with the clans bloodlines, making them even more valuable (Wakahisa Barrel example). However this specialization would reduce their economic impact overall.
On the other hand, I would guess, that a part of the clan employed seal masters work on and with the clans bloodlines, making them even more valuable (Wakahisa Barrel example). However this specialization would reduce their economic impact overall.
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Alright, I'm going to go ahead and introduce this change with minimal input (thanks, @Roomba). I don't see how it's more likely to make Mari BSoD than the previous version.
Hear, hear. It bothers me a bit too when the thread acts like we have access to countless WMDs whose transfinite destructive power rests on our fingertips, promising immediate obliteration to any opposition we may encounter, even as we've never actually employed one. Even with SINs — I would feel a lot safer if we check whether it's possible to even assemble one. Putting an implosion seal in a 5SB'd box and activating it doesn't demand that much time and resources, does it?
Apologies. I had assumed that it was sufficiently ridiculous and impractical to be acceptable.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
"Paste without formatting". On Windows it's Ctrl+Shift+V and on Mac it's Cmd+Shift+V.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Ah, yeah. That's seriously annoying. Myself, I add the BBCode as I'm writing it.
- Location
- Yes.
Think it might have been done by this point, not sure.
- Location
- Under a Rock
[X] Action Plan: Ino, You Know
EDIT: I don't really like the idea of trying to tangle with the grue. In or out of character.
EDIT: I don't really like the idea of trying to tangle with the grue. In or out of character.
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Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Should we wait until the grue decides to tangle with us instead?
- Location
- Europe
Hazou X Grue.
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Incidentally, did anyone ever wonder what my avatar is depicting?
That's a picture of Daoloth, a less-known Lovecraftian horror. Also called the Render of Veils, it responds to one request and one request only: to let one see the world as it truly is, stripped of the comforting lies our senses tell us. The sight is often enough to drive feeble human minds mad. A very rationalist kind of horror: the possibility that we can't stand that which is true.
Symbolic, isn't it?
That's a picture of Daoloth, a less-known Lovecraftian horror. Also called the Render of Veils, it responds to one request and one request only: to let one see the world as it truly is, stripped of the comforting lies our senses tell us. The sight is often enough to drive feeble human minds mad. A very rationalist kind of horror: the possibility that we can't stand that which is true.
Symbolic, isn't it?
Last edited:
- Location
- Yes.
My avatar laughs at your avatar's attempts to drive him mad.
Omake: Akatsuki Inc
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
Orochimaru hated traveling: it was dangerous, stressful and exhausting.
Yet there was one thing he hated even more: his name.
Not that he had always felt this way.
Many children born in his generation had been named after the Sannin. And why not? They were living legends after all (though some more than others).
Sadly, most of those children - now adults - had come to resent their parents' choice of names once the news of debauchery, alcoholism and a mild case of treason had come to light.
It also didn't help that his namesake kept changing faces more often than some of his poorer employees (that is to say, nearly all of them) changed their clothes.
That is why he, a balding and overweight man, had run into more than one embarrassing situation where people thought him the Orochimaru of the Sannin fame and had offered him their children 'as gifts'. Why they thought that was a good idea he didn't know.
Naturally he had declined all offers. A good businessman like him knew a bad deal when he saw one. And getting killed by the real Orochimaru because he tried to impersonate him, however unintentionally, would definitely be bad for the business of staying alive.
Plus, he already had his own employees which barely cost more than any of the free children he was offered anyway - thank Jashin for the lack of unions. Or any other uplift force throughout the Elemental Nations trying to make civilian lives more comfortable or easier.
And those had been lucky times. He had been chased out of villages by angry mobs more than once for 'putting bad thoughts into our mind and snakes into our beds'. Whatever that meant. He assumed that it was a local saying because the alternative was just too bizarre to consider.
The only reason that no one went as far as to assassinate him, as far as he knew anyway, was because he had spent most of his adult life in Bear.
That was also where he had built up his business, the aptly named Oro's Original Organometallics, into one of the most influential in the entire continent.
Fortunately even travelling through Bear had been less bothersome than any other country since most chakra beasts didn't dare get close to the Monuments of [Redacted] - and for very good reason.
Additionally, the [redacted] that [redacted] those unfortunate to [redacted] produced made for amazing starting materials for the refinement process his company was utilizing.
And he only had to pay for it with his inability to ever have a good night's rest again. And, rarely, hearing a voice in his head that was probably not his own.
It had been worth it though. He was sure of it. It had to have been.
But today his calling as a businessman had required him to travel to Leaf to inspect a very lucrative investment opportunity. An investment so valuable he had wanted to evaluate it in person.
It had been a long journey but he was finally here, standing in front of the Uchiha compound and waiting for his contact to arrive.
After only a few moments of awkwardly avoiding eye contact with the Uchiha guards, a hulking mountain of a man came his way.
"Greetings, I am Kakuzu, chief financial officer of Akatsuki. And you are...," he glanced at a note he was carrying in his hand and raised his eyebrows in disbelief "Orochimaru? I didn't think you would come personally. Excuse me just a moment."
Kakuzu stepped close Orochimaru and then pulled hard on his cheeks.
Orochimaru yelled out in pain and started rubbing his cheeks. "What gives, man?!"
"Sorry, just confirming something. Your name is quite… peculiar?"
"Yes, I know. You aren't the first one to get confused. Though you are the first one to actually go this far. People usually just ask."
Kakuzu nodded. "Our meeting must be fate then. Orochimaru used to be part of our organization but he left due to... creative differences. Haven't seen him in years, actually.
"Anyway, please follow me so we can start the tour," Kakuzu motioned to the gates of the compound and started walking. "Excuse me for asking but why don't you just go by your last name to avoid mix ups like these?"
"...I don't have one."
"Seriously?" replied in disbelief the man who didn't have one either.
"No one in the village I was born in had one. I guess they just never saw the point of doing so when people died to chakra beasts so regularly that we just made do by cycling through the two dozen or so first names we had without having to resort to using duplicates.
"Saved a bunch of money on tombstones and engraved wedding rings, too, since we could just reuse them now that I think about it. Huh, I guess becoming a good businessman was just in my blood after all.
"...I see."
-o-o-o-
"Fascinating. What do you sell?"
Kakuzu pointed at a sign across the street that read Kakuzu's Sewing Supplies. "It's a hobby of mine and there appears to be quite the market for it so I figured why not? One of my colleagues, Hidan, works at the hospital and helps test the more experimental treatment methods."
"As doctor or patient?"
"Yes. In any case, feel free to look around as there are quite a few interesting shops to look over."
Orochimaru took in the scenery and could only nod.
The streets were bustling with activity all around which was a good sign for the potential profit he could make were he to invest here.
And while most of the shops were indeed run by Uchiha personnel, the large majority of the people doing their business here were not part of the clan.
At least that was the impression he got, but it was always hard to be sure when all he knew about the Uchiha that they had dark hair and pale skin which weren't exactly the finest of filters.
And while he knew about the legendary Sharingan, rumor had it that most Uchiha preferred not to keep them active all the time because… because. He couldn't remember.
Ever since they unearthed that t̤͚̹͙͈͒̓ͭ̔h̴̟͇͕̰͎͈̖̲͑̋̀i̷̢͕̗͈͇̼̺͍ͥ̇̊̌̇n̷̮̯̹̠͓̊ͫg̸̡̼͚̝̱͙̦̔ͧͮ̓͟ in the mines he had noticed that there were gaps in his memory. Which by itself was concerning enough. But the part that scared him the most is that at some point he would forget the actual reason he was forgetting things. What if he'd forgot who he was?
But enough about existential crises, there was work to do. Where was he? Ah yes, the Uchiha.
Thankfully, a lot of those did wear elaborate kimonos with the traditional fan on them, and a smaller portion - usually those operating the various booths - even had their red eyes on display which made them easier to identify.
(Orochimaru even spotted a red-eyed Uchiha woman who seemed to have fallen on such hard times that she seemingly wasn't able to afford wearing a Uchiha brand kimono and instead looked like she had decided to wear a bunch of - presumably stolen - bandages.)
Satisfied with inspecting the clientele, Orochimaru started to give the shops around him a closer look. Many of them were advertising their services on their store front so all he had to was read them:
Uchiha Utsukushi's Beauty Salon: Trouble with unruly hair, beards or brains? We will service and wash anything for cheap!
-
'He has his father's eyes.' No longer just a saying! - Hydra Foundation: For a better tomorrow.
-
Deidara's Demolishing Service and Art Gallery
-
EdoTenseiAndMe: Why rely on unreliable genetic testing when you can talk to your ancestors directly? - Hydra Foundation: The past was kind of all right, too.
-
Zetsu's Zen Garden.
Note: Wearing any form of ear protection inside the store is forbidden - The Management
-
Uchiha Agency of Agency: Tired of other people telling you how to live your life? Let's make them rue the day they were born. Together.
-
Sasori's Temp Agency: Our workers never tire.
-
Uchiha Gomi's Waste Disposal: There is nothing Black Fire can't burn.
-
Uchiha Gankona's Brand Shoes: For those who want to go pretty damn far on a budget.
-
Uchiha Kekkon's Couple Counseling: Good communication is important for a happy life!
Mind Control is faster and cheaper though - ask for Dr. Rikon.
Orochimaru even spotted a store with a respectable selection of various goods from all over the Elemental Nations: Uchiha Imports: What was yours is now ours.
The selection included elaborate Mist style crockery, rocks from Rock, tea from Tea, rice from Noodle and noodles from Rice. Disappointingly, nothing from his home country.
But considering their chief exports were nightmares and broken minds maybe that was for the best.
He also spotted lots and lots of ophthalmologists advertising their services.
And finally, the store with the largest amount of people both inside and outside of it:
*~~~* Uchi-Ha-Ha's Joke Shop *~~~*
Curious. Orochimaru had no idea why a shop like this would be so popular. Maybe pranking people was a Leaf custom or something? He asked Kakuzu as much.
"Ah, yeah. They offer more services than just selling pranking materials. I suppose they never got around to changing their name because they wanted to keep the brand recognition but they can also write and send custom birthday cards or similar, all written in your handwriting if you provide them with a sample. It is very popular with the busy and forgetful because you can have them send cards at any set date for you. Recurring events like birthdays or wedding days aren't a problem either."
Orochimaru had to admit that this sounded pretty useful. In fact, he might even commission a bunch of cards expressing condolences for the death of a loved one. Mortality rate in Oro's Original Organometallics was pretty high and he was at the age where he had to starting taking care of his wrists.
"Oh, and you can make them forge marriage proposals for romantic purposes. Or just as a prank if that tickles your fancy. They even offer a premium option to turn the moon blood red for a few minutes just to create the right timing for your proposal.
"In fact, some kid paid for the Red Moon Service with a huge stack of explosive seals not a week ago to try and win back his girlfriend, though last I heard it didn't work."
A grown man keeping up with the love life of adolescents aside, Orochimaru was concerned. "Surely this cannot be legal? The forgery bit, I mean."
"Hmm? Oh, surprisingly it is. At least for now. There was an... incident where some Hyuuga kid forged a marriage proposal addressed to her older sister under Sarutobi Konohamaru's name that is likely going to be the impetus to get this outlawed soon. But until then this remains a very lucrative revenue stream."
Oh? A younger sibling trying to help her big sister with matters of the heart? He could understand that. After all romance was a shared experience both civilians like him and ninjas had in common.
"That's so sweet of her. Did it work out?"
"Well, not quite. She just wanted to engineer a perceived slight against the Hyuuga so she had a pretext to slap the kid around without starting a feud between the Sarutobi and her clan. Got away with it, too."
Nevermind then.
Still, the apparent ease of how the Uchiha could warp reality, mind control or impersonate people at will was concerning. Could the Uchiha really do all of these things?
And if they could, what possible reason could there be that Leaf wasn't ruling the entire world yet?
-o-o-o-
"Uchiha Itachi."
Orochimaru nearly tripped at the non-sequitur pulling him out of his thoughts. "I'm sorry, what?"
"Uchiha Itachi," Kakuzu repeated. "He is our next stop. He runs the daycare center right over there. And since the weather is so nice they are currently having a lesson outside. Let's go take a look."
"All right. Having a place to put the kids so the parents are free to shop around is very useful."
As they arrived, Orochimaru didn't know what to expect but seeing half a dozen children lying motionless on the grass was not it.
"Kenji!" the teacher - presumably Uchiha Itachi - yelled.
Kenji stood to attention. "Yes, sensei!"
Poor fellow appeared to be quite terrified judging by how he was nervously glancing at his unmoving cohorts.
"It is time to test the limits of your ability! Solve the equation on the blackboard!"
"Ah, sevent-, no, sixty-three, sensei?"
"Wrong! But no worries, you are here to learn after all. Speaking of which: Tsukuyomi - Seventy-Two Hours of Multiplication Tables!"
Kenji dropped face first into the grass and Itachi turned to where Kakuzu and Orochimaru were standing and winked at them in greeting. An action which caused the bloody tears rolling down his eyes to run over his slightly too manic looking smile.
Not that Itachi seemed to notice or even care as he continued traversing the obstacle path of fallen children to get to the next student.
Whatever his unorthodox teaching methods, Orochimaru certainly could not fault the man's work ethic.
Kakuzu was clearly thinking the same, looking back at Itachi with a fond smile. "Cool, huh? Come on, let's head for the Entertainment District now, the food stands and festival games are - without exaggeration - the best you can find in all of the Elemental Nations.
In fact, why don't we take the shortcut through the Residential Area here so we can get there as fast as possible so I can eat-- so you can inspect the various cotton candies, I mean various goods and services they have on display."
Not waiting for a reply, Kakuzu lifted Orochimaru on his shoulders and started running.
-o-o-o-
They were close. So close that Kakuzu could already imaging stuffing himself with candied apples and honeyed almonds.
Unfortunately for him, he had had to stop and drop off Orochimaru just a few hundred meters from their destination because he was complaining about getting woozy.
And the place where they were headed food was meant to go only one way: inside the mouth and not out of it.
So now he was waiting for Orochimaru to recover while doing a good job of projecting outward patience.
"Thanks and sorry about that," Orochimaru said. He was standing again and looking around curiously. "Hey, any reason why all these houses appear to be abandoned and in a state of disrepair? Seems to be one heck of a waste of money not to rent them out."
Curses upon Hidan's Stupid God, in his haste Kakuzu had completely forgotten which area this shortcut was taking them through.
What did one even reply to a question like this?
Apparently nothing because Orochimaru seemed happy enough to come up with his own explanation.
"Oh silly me. Since we are so close to the Entertainment District, these are obviously part of the haunted houses of the amusement park area, aren't they? Looks pretty realistic, I am quite impressed."
Kakuzu opened and closed his mouth multiple times before seemingly coming to a decision. "Yes, you are absolutely right. This is indeed the Uchiha's famous haunted house... district."
"I must say you really outdid yourselves here. All this old and dried blood, the lingering smell of death, the whole atmosphere - it's just so realistic."
Uh? "Right. Yes, all of what you said is… yes."
"Do you mind sharing who masterminded this part? I have a few people who would love to get into touch with such a person for their amusement parks."
"Sure...? It was Itachi. He did all of this but he doesn't like talking about it though so I would strongly recommend not bringing up this topic. I think he is ashamed of his earlier work as most artists tend to be."
Orochimaru nodded to himself and they both continued walking to their destination. One happy to not have to talk about an awkward topic and one extremely pleased with himself for being able to show off his business acumen.
-o-o-o-
The moment they had arrived, Orochimaru was alone.
Well, not alone per se as the place was packed with people from old to young. But Kakuzu was nowhere to be seen which in itself was quite the feat considering he towered over every single person here.
No matter.
After taking a deep breath of the sweet smell permeating the air, Orochimaru started exploring.
The gigantic ferris wheels and roller coasters were a sight to behold, even if a tiny voice in Orochimaru's head wondered whether they could save maintenance costs by hiring ninja to carry people around in a similar, gravity-defying manner. Maybe he could bring that up with Kakuzu when he returned.
But first things first, it was time for some delicious ice cream!
But which stand to pick? Not a stand without any queue because that indicates a lack of popularity. Not one with a too long queue either because he didn't want to wait too long.
How about that one over? Their queue looked to be moving pretty quickly.
As he walked over, Orochimaru spotted a happy looking Uchiha kid receiving his ice cream.
"So yummy!" He bit into it. "Ow, cold. Stupid ice cream! I vow to restore my family's pride and to destroy you and everything you stand for!"
What a totally normal reaction to a totally normal situation. And was he now trying to eat all of it at once? That looked like a bad idea to Orochimaru.
"Ow, stupid brain! How dare you freeze on me! I vow to restore my family's pride and to destroy you and everything you stand for!"
And now the kid was hitting himself on the head.
"Stupid head, how dare you hurt my hands?! I vow to restore my family's pride and to destroy you and everything you stand for!"
Orochimaru had a feeling he knew where this was going but he simply could not look away. And indeed, the kid was now biting his hands and getting mad at his teeth.
Should he do something? The poor boy appeared to be stuck in some sort of loop but no one around him seemed to care.
An older Uchiha woman caught Orochimaru's gaze. "Is this the first time you are witnessing the Uchiha Vengeance Spiral? It's fine, my dear. At some point the pain becomes so unbearable that they pass out. It's how they learn to temper themselves."
"...That can't be healthy."
"Well, admittedly the Uchiha do produce more jounin than the average clan. A lot more." She gave him a meaningful look but Orochimaru had no idea what she was implying. "But yes, it is something most of our shinobi had to go through. It usually disappears around the time they hit puberty because that's when they start channeling their energies into writing bad poetry and brooding."
"I see."
He didn't. How was this clan still alive?
The woman nodded sagely at him. "Indeed. Have you heard about our clan's pride Sasuke-chan? He is quite the prodigy."
"Because he is super strong?"
"He is, but that's not why he is considered a prodigy. No, the reason is that he was so well adjusted as a child that he was allowed to leave the compound unsupervised and join the academy with the other clan children without the risk of him falling unconscious in awkward places.
"Oh look, one the cleaners is here now. I always like watching this part."
Orochimaru looked where the woman was pointing and saw an older Uchiha man dragging a cart behind him. He stopped close to the now unconscious kid to pick him up and then unceremoniously threw him over his shoulder unto the cart.
A cart which already had half a dozen of immobile children on it.
A cart with a banner across its side which read: 'Lost and Found. Please pick up your children before closing time. Any children not picked up by then will be donated to the Hydra Foundation'.
Well okay then.
Though thinking further on it, Orochimaru had no illusions that overworked parents might "accidentally" forget to pick up their children just to get a few days of peace. And that was if the kids were too stupid to find their own way home. Which seemed unlikely.
Maybe that was the point? Make the kids realize that emulating fainting chakra goats wasn't a very productive thing to do with their time?
Either way, now that he knew what to look for, he could even hear it happening in a different area of the park ("Ow! Just you wait, you Evil Rock! Yondaime should have exterminated all of you! Once I have my Sharingan I will…").
And not far from here, there was an unconscious girl that looked awfully blue in face. What did she do, declare vengeance on the oxygen in the air?
Not that it was any of his business though.
His earlier doubts aside, the clan clearly made do. Somehow.
Plus, it was now his turn to get some yummy ice cream.
-o-o-o-
After finishing inspecting the rest of the booths, Orochimaru felt it was time to investigate the highlight of the amusement park: The Bijuu Zoo.
There were nine cages numbered one to nine built in a semicircle. Each of them easily dwarfing the huge ferris wheel he had inspected earlier (by taking multiple rides on them to ensure they were safe and for no other reason).
And all of them had an opening roughly three meters in diameter that was facing towards the center. Judging by the sign above it that read "Tails Petting Area" the purpose of them was pretty obvious.
And just in front of each cage was wooden information panel displaying various information for the guests to look over.
The panels for numbers four to eight were boarded up with a sign that read 'Touring the world, please check back at a later time'. Their respective cages were empty as well so Orochimaru paid them no further mind and started walking to the first cage.
It was housing a large beige beast that was currently asleep. Its tail was dutifully sticking out of the opening and was readily accessible to pet if one was inclined to.
Orochimaru was not, and instead moved on to the information panel. It read:
Shukaku, Patron Saint of Sand Castles
Originating from the Land of Wind, Shukaku - also known as the One-Tails - is the fabled tanuki bijuu.
Feel free to play with the sand around his cage. We guarantee it is the best in the world.
Akatsuki Inc. is not liable for any discomfort caused by the sand getting you-know-where as sand tends to do.
Note: No relation to the Nara clan head.
And under it, with larger and angrier brush strokes:
We repeat: No relation to Nara Shikaku. Cease attempting to speak to him, he cannot talk back nor can he solve your problems for you.
And most of all, stop trying to be clever and writing your questions on paper and throwing them into the cage. Because you know what else he cannot do? READ!
You know what he can do though? HE CAN FREAKING EAT AND CHOKE ON THEM SO STOP IT, YOU STUPID PEOPLE!!!
Orochimaru nodded to himself. Stupid people really were the one constant in every country.
He moved on to the second cage which housed a blue and black colored giant cat that seemed to be on fire. The sign read:
Matatabi, Kitten of Happiness ^_^
Originating from the Land of Lightning, Matatabi - also known as the Two-Tails - is the fabled kitten bijuu.
Looking to spend a romantic night with your partner? Matatabi is here for you. Not only does she illuminate the night but she will also keep you warm. And who doesn't love a cute kittens?
For anyone looking to pet her, please use the designated thermal resistant gloves to prevent your hands from melting into goop.
PS: Our newly released Matatabi plush series is very popular with the girls. Pick one up as a gift or for yourself at the counter.
Orochimaru moved onto the next cage. He spotted a beast that looked vaguely like a giant turtle if you squinted hard enough and read:
Isobu, Turtle of Justice
Originating from the Land of Water, Isobu - also known as the Three-Tails - is the fabled turtle bijuu.
Graciously donated by the Sandaime Mizukage, Isobu might look intimidating at first but do not worry. Under his hard shell he has the softest of hearts and is very easy-going.
Note: Not a teenager, probably not mutated and hero status is under investigation. Now please stop asking.
Orochimaru moved to the far end of the cages and took in the sight of an gigantic orange fox. One that was looking straight at him. Orochimaru gulped and hastily started reading:
Kurama, Fox of Love
Originating from the Land of Fire, Kurama - also known as the Nine-Tails - is the fabled kitsune bijuu.
Nine out of nine unbiased Leaf researchers agree: Not only is he the strongest and most beautiful bijuu of them all, but also the fluffiest.
Petting his fuzzy tails is guaranteed to cure any ailments you are suffering from, one way or another.
Legal notice:
Should this happen to you, we recommend channeling the hate inwards until our trained specialists can get to you.
Akatsuki Inc is not liable for any damages incurred to yourself or others.
Orochimaru slowly backed away and nearly tripped on the much smaller information panel behind him. He hadn't seen any extra ones for the other bijuu.
This one read:
No Village-wide rampage for 15 years.
No rampage for
That seemed oddly specific. As did the missing person poster of a blue-eyed blond teenager under it.
But no skin off his back, as scary as this beast was he had seen worse. A lot worse.
The young boy petting the - admittedly very fuzzy looking tail - didn't seem to mind either.
"Mom! My hand, it buuuuurnssssss."
Then again, his opinion might be in the process of changing.
The mother for her part just shook her head as disappointed parents all over the world liked to do when confronted with the stupidity of their progeny. "Serves you well, young man. I told you not to pet that one, but did you listen? Why was the turtle not good enough for you?"
Orochimaru felt that was a perfectly reasonable stance to take.
But apparently the child did not as his counterargument consisted of him trying to bite the mother's face off. Literally.
Yet also quite unsuccessfully, demonstrating once more why child soldiers were an inefficient use of resources.
Well, most child soldiers anyway. He was again reminded of the unconscious Uchiha kid from earlier.
Not a moment later, a Sharingan blazing security guard materialized and knocked out the kid with a mere Look.
The mother, now robbed of her target to be annoyed with, instantly turned on the new arrival.
It didn't take long for the poor guard to start visibly struggling not to incapacitate the complaining mother as well, which prompted Orochimaru to check the vicinity for carts that were designated to hold adult guests but he couldn't find one.
Satisfied with the swift security response, Orochimaru turned to leave and nearly walked into a crowd of children cooing over a much smaller animal. How had he missed that one before? And why was it so tiny in a zoo dedicated for tailed beasts?
Curiosity piqued, he took a closer look and instantly froze (someone let out a girlish scream, hopefully not him). He recognized the white haired creature.
Well, not this one precisely, but the species:
Bear Country's very own apex predator: Cattus Terribilis Fifi.
Even the Masters went out of their way to avoid them where it was possible and contain them where it was not.
Before they had intervened, many a war crime had been committed by unscrupulous businessmen who had somehow acquired but a single specimen and released them into a competitor's plant.
The death rate of these incidents always exceeded 100%. Yes, exceeded. Not because some of the killings were so gruesome that they counted twice (they were) but because these creatures did not care about being used and they always ended up tracking down and killing the humans that dared to use them as weapons.
Without fail.
It didn't matter how many proxies you used to deploy them, they would find you. And kill you. And then your loved ones because why not? They were already in the area.
Yet here one was, out in full display in the midst of children. The information panel beside its throne - there was no other way to call it because it certainly was not a closed off cage - was largely empty except for a line that read 'Fifi, Cat (?), on loan from the Rokudaime Hokage'.
Still, not all hope was lost, as this particular specimen seemed to be uncharacteristically tame judging by the lack of mutilated corpses around it. Maybe it had recently sated its bloodlust?
Either way, Orochimaru was not sticking around to find out and slowly backed off until he was certain he would not accidentally put attention on himself before transitioning into a full blown sprint.
He hadn't intended to stop until exhaustion would take him.
Or at least that had been the plan before Orochimaru collided head first with a confused looking Kakuzu.
-o-o-o-
Orochimaru woke up in a cafe with his unwitting assailant sitting in front of, juggling dozens of cotton candy sticks in his right hand and a life size balloon in the form of a blue-skinned man that reminded him of a shark in his left hand.
(They were seated indoors so the ceiling was contributing just as much in holding the balloon in place as Kakuzu did.)
"Oh, good. You are awake then," Kakuzu spoke in between bites.
"How long was I out?"
"Not that long so you shouldn't have to worry about any brain damage."
Brain damage?
Brain damage?!
He hadn't been worried about that before Kakuzu mentioned it but he definitely was now.
S̵̶̲̝̈͛̌̍̔̐͞h̸̲̳̻͊̿ͨ́h̵̦͎̞̳̊ͧͨ̉͜͢,̸̻̱̲̺̌̊ ͕͎ͤ͆̀ͦ́͑ͪ͢Î̵͇͍̺̱̎ͩͬ̂̓͞ͅ ̸̩̗̮̗̏ͯ͐̾́̆ͨ͊̚ͅa̵̧͇̥ͫ̐̽͐̂͆͑̆͡m̸̟͕̾͛̈̒̄̈́ ͈̺̽ͭ͋͒ͯ̏́͘͠ş̰̹̏̈̃t̗̺͎̩̀̆̐̊͋̑̈́i̸̯͕͍̤̩̻̪̎ͬͅl̸̛̥̲̂ͯͭ͊ͦͩ̅͞l̨̍͊͟͏̰̝̼̻̘͖̱ ̡͚̳̞̱͇̬̹̪ͥ̌͑h̺̣͎̦̖̙͒̐ͥ̊ē̵͖̟̪͇ͭͣ̈ͫͮ̃̃͟r̷͙̬͔͚̞̖̘͖͌ͨͬ̐̈̓ẹ͙̠̟͒͒ͭͅ.͎ͧ ̼̖̺̞̤̜ͤ͒͗̉͒͛̕E̍ͥ͐̓̒̈̓̄͞҉̗̦̠͚̗̟̰v̴̫̥̦̖̙͑ͦͦͯ̀ĕ̞̤̺̗̭͙͋͂͊ͯ͑͠r̸̞̻͇̗͚͓̘ͦ̐͌͂̋̚͢y̼̺̹̮̱͖̲͊͋̆̅̚t͔͚̃̔̉̄͊̆̎̚h̷̡̰͙̩̲͇͕̬̲̓͌i̵͇ͫ̄ͫͭ́ͅn̢͗̔̈̑̓̎҉̙̤̝̮͉̼g̡̖͈̼ͯ͂͟ ̸͎͎͍̞̝̯̳̒̈̊̎͋̔̀͢ĩ̞̗̯̙̱͆̌͊́͘͝s̷͙̺̱̖̹̥̦̾̑̈ͥ̊̾͂̓͘ ̪͉̥̰̗̖͎͙̅ͩ̅ͭ̾̄̋f̛̗͎̲͙̗͕̪͂̐͢͝iͧ̄͆҉͇̮̤̳̹n̶̳̗͎͍̯͇̤̞͛̐͑ͥ̆̾̔͛́͘ͅe̸̟̹̔ͥ́͘.̃ͦ̍ͤ͛҉͏̵͖̼̤̖̺ ̴̬͍͚̮̹̘̺ͫ͊̓͆ͤ̀̔͜ D̴͎̟̥̩̥̂̑̕r̴̫̙ͬͭ͛͟ȋ̴͔͖̮͔̻ͮ̈̈ͣ̂̉̌n̛̫̬̑͂́̃͑k͉̮̯̣̍͛ͥ̅̏̌͝ ̷̨̣̣͚̻̥̗̳̀ͧ̔̎̒́͆̈́͝ș̸̦ͬ̒̃ͨ́o͗́̇ͪ͗͏̱͖̲͍̣̻̖m̷̥̖̗͙͚̫̭̥̔̍ͥ̊̕e̛̘͚̱͎͌ͧ͗͂ͤ̓ͧͅț̷͇̝͎ͧͤͤͤ͑h̴͙̝̙̮͕̐̆͌́́ͅi̖̯̭̖̬͍̩̹ͯ́̓̏ͧ̃̀͠n̷͖̪͚̍̿ͮ̐̐ģ͇̼̠̺̟̯̞̓̽̄ͫ̓͐͋̓ ͔̣̻͉͊ͮ̅͞t̶̛̠͈̠̘̝͉̒̊̓ͭ͒ͣ̋̉͢ͅh̢̞̠̺̝͒ͭ͜͠ö́̍ͦ̍͏̰͇͔̞͟u̖͉̼̬̜̝̦͑̍̑̋̄ͬg̪̞͓͔̎͌ͫ̊̌ͬ͐͋̊̀̕ḧ̢̠͖̹͍͓̯̫͖́͛ͮ͌ͮ̏ͧ,̷̠̞͇͆ͦ͑͛͋̃̚ ̳̰͓͇̮̣̒̏̾̑̎̂̓͐̕y̨̯̮̘̙͖͈̓͌͆ͨ̓̂̾̕ͅơ̘̣̓̄̚u͙̜͋̾̚ ̘̠̳̥̯̟͖͍̮ͦ̏̈ͥͣ͡a̺̮̞͉̙̲̽̾r̪͕̄͋ͮ͛͡ë̶̸̳͖̖͍̦̤́̉ͦ̽́̋͑ͅ ̇̂͏̲̤̥͕̣͔g̬͇̘̏͋̓ͩ̑ͦ͡è̪̦͕̪̩͐ͧ͒̇͜͢͡ť̛͖̬̲̣̗̯̊̎ͫͥ̂͌̋͘t̸̯̮̭ͮ̏͗͂̈i̧̥̝̣̥͖̮͋̃̌n̦͓͔̺̅͌g̭̳̤̼̔ͨ̐͒̍̈́ ̦̦͙̦̱̹͔̥͓ͬ̚̕͟d̝̞̪͔̤̥̹̻̀͋ͪͯ͌ͪ̿͑ë̵̛̺̟͇̜̰̱͖̗̬̓h̨͗̎̂̍͒͏͕̣̮̘̭͔̠̖y̧͇̝̍ͯ̌͐̈͜͜d̦̖̺͓̃̇͋͆̈́ͩrͦ̆ͮ̑͐̚҉̵̱a͓ͪ̒͛t̩̦̀̀͊ͩͨ̾̉̚̕͝eͤ̆͗̌̚͠͏̼̖̠͔̲͎ͅdͨͫ̑͠͏̶̘̘̜̯͖͇̯̗̙.̴̟̙̭̯̗͎ͬ͗̈́͛̀ͬ͊̃
Oh great, the voice was back. Maybe brain damage wouldn't have been such a bad thing after all.
But he did have to admit that he was getting thirsty.
Orochimaru ordered a drink and then killed some time by observing the other patrons as any non-creepy person would have done.
Like the couple sitting just across of them.
The blonde woman with her ponytail and mesmerizing smile was absolutely gorgeous. She was currently guiding her fork into the man's mouth with a whispered "Cake is art!" which the man answered with a "Yum, squish!" before swallowing.
Speaking of eating habits, instead of using a proper napkin the man had a red and - what once could have passed as white - conical hat that had 'Fire' written on it on his lap.
Standing at the wall closest to the couple was an athletic looking woman wearing a white mask.
Orochimaru could have easily believed that she was part of the background if she hadn't been twitching ever so slightly each time the dark haired man smeared a particularly big chunk of chocolate cake on his improvised napkin.
Well, to each their own.
Was his drink still not ready? Orochimaru let out a sigh and directed his gaze outside.
Oh no. No, no, no no, no! Not again!
"Kakuzu, please lend me that balloon of yours. Thankyouverymuch."
Not waiting for a response Orochimaru grabbed the balloon off of a surprised Kakuzu and positioned it between himself and the window.
He had thought that he had been quick enough but the door slamming open the next instant proved him wrong.
"Snek Uncle, Snek Uncle! I didn't know you were in Leaf. What a lucky coincidence!"
The teenage boy - Harold if he remembered correctly - practically rushed to his side.
Most of his face wasn't even visible but he could recognize his grating voice from anywhere. A big piece of paper with tiny cutouts for his eyes, nose and mouth hung in front of his face.
Why he looked like someone who had fallen into a vat of glue and then decided that the best way to clean himself was to roll around in stacks of paper was beyond him - yet also consistent with what he had come to expect from this unhinged boy.
Harold was followed by another teenage boy (Nobbi?) and a young girl carrying a giant Matatabi plush at a more sedate pace.
Why he kept insisting to bring his fat butler - and there was no way that Nobbi was anything but considering he was carrying a barrel of refreshments everywhere - was also beyond him.
Orochimaru had no idea who the girl was, but they had clearly entered as a group so he was expecting the worst.
Well then, no point in delaying the inevitable.
"What do you want this time?"
He could try denying that he wasn't the real Orochimaru but past experience had shown him that these people didn't care one bit about his truth unless it aligned with theirs.
But that wasn't even the worst part. Orochimaru was genuinely scared about what they would do to him should they ever run out of food in his presence. He didn't think cannibalism was common among ninja but why else would they refer to him the way they did if they had no such plans?
And they were always yapping about immortality this, immortality that and please could you give me your spare eyes for sealing experiments. Yuck!
Plus each time he kept denying that he had no idea about what they were talking about, Harold would only nod to himself thinking that this was part of some elaborate test where he had to prove himself worthy to receive 'Orochimaru's gifts'.
One day - not being able to contain his annoyance any longer - Orochimaru had told them that the only way he would ever indulge them was if chakra pigs could fly.
And that had been that. They had left him alone.
For four whole months which is when they accidentally ran into each other again. And wouldn't you know it, they had brought him a gift: a flying chakra pig.
And they were so smug about it, too. Telling him how they had understood his lessons about how they had to learn how to modify existing chakra animals as the first step into obtaining immortality.
And so they had. They made a chakra pig fly with bits of paper and chakra magic (those weren't the words they had used but that was all he was able to understand).
So Orochimaru sent them off again. And again. And again. Yet they always came back, having learned a new imaginary lesson.
And so to cut a long story short: Orochimaru was now in possession of large collection of beautifully inscribed scrolls hanging in his office.
He hadn't known what they were until a visiting kunoichi had told him that they were priceless scrolls to conjure talking magic animals with.
For him they were just decor.
But enough about that, the Annoying One was getting ready to speak.
"So I was thinking about this new seal idea that would let me travel back in time. I mean, who doesn't have things they regret doing in the past, right? But to test my theory I need," he leaned in closer to whisper "a Sharingan and Byakugan. Or maybe a Rinnegan if you happen to have a spare. You know, for your favorite nephew."
So eyes it was. Again. That boy clearly had a serious problem. "I seem to have left all my spare eyes in my other pants, remind me again another time?"
"Oh. Yeah, no worries. I had a bunch of ideas to share with you anyway..."
And so he did, gesticulating wildly and grinning like a madman all the while.
He glanced at the boy's companions: The girl had moved closer to the couple at some point and was exchanging some words with them every now and then. The butler was still standing at attention behind Harold. At least that one was well trained.
Five minutes into the monologue, Orochimaru tried to find an excuse to leave just as one of Harold's wide arm swings connected with another patron's hand.
"Hey! My ice cream! Where did it go?!" the woman yelled at him.
"Uh, I am not sure what you mean?"
"Your paper. It ate my ice cream. Give it back!"
"Oh, sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen. My new Invulnerability Suit is meant to protect me from any incoming projectiles by sealing them up in the storag--"
"I. Don't. Care." She was now starting to cry hysterically. "Why would you do this to me?! I only get one day off a month and here you are, ruining it!"
Orochimaru really shouldn't have felt as happy as he did, watching the boy get slapped, but he did.
Unfortunately, it was at this point that Nobbi intervened by handing the woman a stack of ryos and mumbling an apology in a well practiced motion.
Something like this probably happened often then.
With the distraction gone, Orochimaru prepared himself for another lecture about how seals were the solution to all of mankind's problem when the door swung open once more, revealing an armed Uchiha guard.
He instantly zeroed in on Harold. "Goketsu! How many times do we have to tell you that you are not welcome in the Uchiha compound?"
"Is this still about the noodle stand thing? It's been two months already! Besides, that wasn't even my fault! There was a unique set of circumstances that conspired against me, and really who could have expected that Sasuke would react so badly about such an innocuous topic?
"Also, for a clan that is famous for their fire jutsu your compound is absurdly flammable, isn't it?"
The guard was not impressed. "That is Lord Sasuke for you, Goketsu. And yes, this is about 'the noodle stand thing'. Now don't make this difficult and come with me peacefully."
"Fine."
As Harold was being let outside, the guard made the mistake of opening the door for him. Unfortunately for him the sleeve of his kimono touched one of the paper pieces on the way and revealed to the world that real Uchiha men did in fact not wear anything under their kimonos.
"GOKETSU! Why does the world always turn stupid when you are close by?!"
-o-o-o-
"Can you believe it? That idiot actually thinks immortality is real," Orochimaru said.
Kakuzu just laughed.
-o-o-o-
On the streets once more, Orochimaru and Kakuzu were heading to their final destination: the Akatsuki HQ.
Kakuzu had been uncharacteristically quiet while they were walking so he was a little surprised when Kakuzu diverted them back into the Uchiha Residential Area instead.
Not that he had told him that this was where they were heading but having acquired more knowledge over the day about how the Uchiha functioned, it was pretty obvious:
The number of prone children per square meter was increasing the closer they got into the heart of the compound.
And speaking of children, there was one right ahead, coughing.
"A cough?! Stupid lung, how dare you embarrass me in public! Just wait and see how you will cope without air flowing through you."
Orochimaru stopped to watch. He wondered how long the kid could hold his breath before passing out.
But it wasn't meant to be since someone slapped the kid over the head. "Kenji, we are not doing this again."
"But mooooooom."
"No. You are not collapsing here, we don't have time for this right now."
"But every one of my friends get to do it!"
"Oh, is that so? If one of your friends told you to revolt against the Hokage, would you do that, too?"
"I…maybe, I don't know?"
"You don't know?!" She forcefully grabbed the boy by the arm and dragged him off. "We are heading to Aunt Utsukushi. I think it's time for your new haircut."
"But I just had one two days ago!"
"Don't care, now shut up and follow me like a good boy."
Good for her, Orochimaru thought.
Oh hey, what was that over there? A man with an orange mask was sitting behind a table in deep discussion with another Uchiha woman.
There was a banner held up above it that read 'Tobi is a good boy. Change my mind.'
Kakuzu followed Orochimaru's gaze and grimaced. "Please ignore him, he is one of our… weirder colleagues and the less time we spend around him the better for everyone involved."
And with that, they continued walking. Orochimaru felt it was time to get to the bottom of this. "Why are we really here, Kakuzu?"
"I… you know how I left you for a bit earlier? Technically, I wasn't supposed to do that. I was ordered to stay with you the whole time but you know how it is, I didn't eat anything today and…"
"Oh. Don't worry about. I won't tell anyone."
"Thank you, but I really can't risk that chance. You see, I already got into trouble for leaving my post earlier this month and my boss can get kind of… weird about these things."
"Your boss sounds like a pain."
Kakuzu chuckled for some reason. "You have no idea. And I am really sorry about this."
"Sorry about what?"
"This." Faster than Orochimaru could see, Kakuzu had grabbed one of the older kids walking in the area and was now pointing him at Orochimaru. "Sharingan-By-Proxy-Technique: You will forget that I ever left today."
"...I'm not feeling any different, Kakuzu."
"What? Hang on just a second." Kakuzu flipped the kid over to him so he was now facing him. "You there, why isn't your Sharingan active?"
"Why would it? I was just walking here," the kid said. He was surprisingly chill about the whole situation. Never a good sign on a Uchiha.
"Well in that case: your family hates you."
The effect was instantaneous. "How dare they! I vow to restore my family's pride and to destroy my family and everything they stand for! Wait… hold on. I need to think about this."
They didn't have to wait long for the Uchiha's ability to rationalize away contradictions was unparalleled. The kid's Sharingan activated.
Kakuzu turned him again to Orochimaru. "How about now? Feel anything yet?"
"Not really, no," Orochimaru replied.
Kakuzu gave the kid a light tap on the head like he was trying to fix a loose contact on a lamp.
"How about now?"
"No, sorry."
"Well, this is awkward."
"A little bit."
"I swear this has never happened to me before."
Orochimaru was sympathetically patting Kakuzu on the arm. "There, there."
"They usually work better than this." Kakuzu dumped the kid into one of the designated carts at the side of the street and turned back to Orochimaru. "So, uh. Wanna go visit the HQ?"
"Yes, please."
-o-o-o-
It had started when he had run head first into Kakuzu and it had only gotten worse when Harold had shown up.
Fortunately for him they were close to the final stop. The Akatsuki HQ building was right in front of them.
He'd go, just as soon as his head would stop trying to kill him.
He glanced at Kakuzu who had declined sitting on a bench and was leaning against a wall and munching on his cotton candy instead. Maybe he'd have some pain killers for him?
"Hey, do you have any pain--"
"Yes," replied the man whose lap he was now sitting on. (Kakuzu let out a mild groan.)
It was an odd scene, Orochimaru being embraced by a man who appeared to be sitting on empty air. Or at least he thought that was what was happening because the bench he was previously sitting on was nowhere to be seen.
Yet it was also a magical moment. Both men gazed at each other. One with utter confusion and one with cautious optimism. Neither seemed to want to break the silence so gravity decided to do it for them by reasserting itself and sending both of them sprawling.
The man stood up immediately - as people who try to pretend that nothing out of the ordinary had happened tend to do - and dusted himself off. He did not, however, move from the spot he had fallen, which made it more difficult for Orochimaru to disentangle himself and stand up.
"Leader-sama! Leader-sama! There you are," a blue-haired woman came running from the direction of the Akatsuki HQ. She noticed the gap where a bench should have been. "Did you substitute yourself with the bench?"
The man huffed. "Of course I did. I did not become a god to merely walk to places like a peasant. The Substitution Technique is all I need."
"It's just… you know we worry about you, right? What will happen if you get stuck in an open field again with no valid substitution targets and we aren't there to help you out?"
He waved her off. "That was just the one time. Plus, if that hadn't happened I would have never realized that my summons were not only edible but also pretty tasty so it all worked out well in the end."
Even by the standards of ninja this guy was weird. And it did at least explain how the man had gotten under Orochimaru.
But not the why. So he inquired: "There were more than enough benches here, why did you make the one I was sitting on disappear?"
"You called my name, remember? Also this bench was the closest to your position and I dislike having to yell."
"Your name? I did no such thing."
"Yes, you did. I heard you."
"I don't even know who you are."
The man's face darkened. "Oh, is that how you want to play it? Going to pretend you don't know us after all the years we spent together? Fine then.
"I am Pain."
What a weird greeting. Orochimaru had a feeling he was missing something. Specifically, at least one more word to make sense of the statement. Like an 'a' or an 'in'. But as the saying goes: when in Leaf, do as the Leaflets do.
"I am rich."
"..."
"..."
"Why are you acting like that? I know that you are Orochimaru. Do you really dislike us this much that you have to pretend we are strangers?"
"Sir, I believe this a cast of mistaken ide--"
"It's a mistake, alright. How could you?"
Orochimaru looked over to Kakuzu in an obvious plea for help but the latter just shook his head. The woman didn't seem much help either and had moved to Kakuzu's side where she was playfully - and unsuccessfully - swiping at one of the cotton candy sticks he was holding up in the air just out of her reach.
Stupid ninja.
"Look, I really am not the Orochimaru you think I am. I am here to inspect your business so I can determine whether or not I want to invest in it."
"Of course you are not." Oh good, maybe he was getting through to him after all. "None of us are who we used to be. We all change."
Less good.
Pain seemed undeterred. "And I am happy to see you have decided to come back to us, even though you had to make up an excuse about only visiting us for 'business purposes'.
"Have you truly forgotten our weekly bonding sessions where all of you would sit on my lap so we could confide in each other? I might have been your superior but I was always there for you as a friend. Any problem of yours, however big or small, was also mine and I would endeavor to help you where I could."
Wait, what?
Orochimaru looked over at Kakuzu again and noticed three things: Kakuzu was pointedly refusing to make eye contact with him, the woman had successfully acquired some of his cotton candy and Kakuzu now had a large paper snake sitting on his shoulder - presumably in exchange for the cotton candy.
"'All of us?' At the same time?" Orochimaru asked.
Pain waved him off. "Of course, that's the beauty of having multiple bodies, isn't it? Nobody gets neglected. It really is a shame you decided to go with short hair for your new body because I so loved braiding your hair."
(Unbeknownst to everyone, a small - and quite real - white snake hidden in the bushes choked on its tongue and started the anatomically impossible process of tearing up all at the same time.)
Orochimaru had to admit he felt jealous. Why would anyone leave Akatsuki if they were this close? But alas, he was not the Orochimaru they were looking for.
"I realize this is a lot to take in at once so I will give you some space to think about it. Just know that you are always welcome here." And with that Pain substituted himself with a bench further down the street.
And then stood there for a few moments before reluctantly turning back to the group.
"Ko-- Konan, there are - therearenoviablesubstitutiontargets in range. If you could, maybe… you know…?"
"Of course, Leader-sama. I am on my way," she bowed at Kakuzu and Orochimaru in parting and ran after the greatest god that ever lived and likely will ever live.
One thing was for sure, though: after watching Konan run ahead of Pain every few meters so he could substitute himself with her and slowly make his way forward, Orochimaru could see where the phrase that god worked in mysterious ways had originated from.
"So what do you say? Are we in business?" Kakuzu stood beside him, licking his fingers.
Maybe he wasn't the Orochimaru they were looking for. But maybe, just maybe he could become their Orochimaru nonetheless.
"Yes, I think we can make this work."
-o-o-o-
A/N:
That took a looooooooooooooooooot longer than I thought it would. Not entirely happy with it but at this point it was either this or risk never finishing it.
Most of stuff I had outlined before the BotG except for one thing. Can you guess which? (It should be pretty obvious, I think.)
@eaglejarl: Since you never specified that Kagome had to become the Hokagome in a canon MfD story, I'd like to claim the 10 XP now.
But since turnabout is fair play, you never specified that Hazou would be the one to get the XP either. But if I may make a non-binding request, I'd like the 10 XP to go to a random civilian child.
The child doesn't know it yet but they are now the chosen one, tasked to keep their family and friends safe in a hostile world. A hero of another story. Another Orochimaru.
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Are we going to follow through with the inn and tavern idea? Retired Mari has all the necessary skills, it would be source of income intel and light labor employment for the incoming civilians, and Orochimaru's compound must have all the equipment for fermentation and distillation.
"Jiraiya kept ordering me not to try any of my really fun ideas, but I'm in charge now."
You absolute monster.
If you highlight the text after pasting and click the text color button there should be a "no color" option with an "X" in the box at the lower right corner of the pallet which resets it to default.
"Jiraiya kept ordering me not to try any of my really fun ideas, but I'm in charge now."
You absolute monster.
If you highlight the text after pasting and click the text color button there should be a "no color" option with an "X" in the box at the lower right corner of the pallet which resets it to default.
Dissonance
Luna's Luna
- Location
- Ginnungagap.
- Pronouns
- S/H/T
.....I was being serious.
.....Nice.
- Location
- UK
I mean something stronger than that for the Keiko conversation—she needs validation and support, and she needs to be handling this from a position of strength. I want to put off "you communicated this badly" because it's literally more than an order of magnitude less important than "you did the right thing, and I want to help you do the right thing the best way that it can happen." Only after this has all cleared through the system does getting Keiko to constructively reflect on her communication abilities make sense, but this should mean getting the important stuff done ASAP, to a high standard, not just delaying saying things of substance on the issue altogether.
Which leads into the second point. Keiko has just given an ultimatum, the object-level circumstance has changed greatly, at least from the character's perspective. So call a clan meeting, skip over the second-guessing and infighting, and say "if we're doing this, we're doing this well; here are my suggestions, I want to hear yours; questioning the decision is tabooed until we finish talking."
As to the Ami point, I was suggesting telling Keiko because it's the nice thing to do nice, and requires less resource on Keiko's part than letting her ask (or prevent herself asking), esp. given the state of things right now.
I was actually saying my concerns were unhelpfully vague, since I hadn't figured out precisely what about it felt off. If it's not too late by then, I'll go into more detail next voting round.
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- Location
- France
I'm not even going to touch the "use a Mist-nin infiltration specialist as an ally to influence Leaf politics" aspects of the plan, but I'm calling this now : Keiko will think that this is insane, would never work, and imply that we're a braindead vegetable masquerading as a shinobi.