- Location
- Under a Rock
I really need to download that screaming in Kagome plugin.
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
Some sources said there's no significant benefits.
- Location
- Australia
It seems that typing pain is generally all in the wrist and Dvorak just makes it easier for your fingers. If this continues we should probably make a computer keyboard thread.
Chapter 264: Adopting a Stance
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Ishihara Kenta's house was just as Hazō remembered it: a hardy two-floor wooden building, impressive by the standards of the district. Over there, on the top left, was the window of Akane's room. There was no light despite the winter gloom. Maybe it was a symbol of everything Hazō had lost. Or maybe she was out training.
The door opened slowly, reluctantly, at his knock. Akane's father hadn't changed either, including the half-grim, half-melancholy expression he'd worn when confronting Hazō last time. He took their presence in, eyes sweeping from Hazō to Keiko to Noburi to Kagome. Facing that many potentially hostile ninja would have been intimidating, possibly even terrifying, to a lot of civilians. Kenta, however, looked more weary than wary.
"Gōketsu," he said heavily. "I'm sorry for your loss. I suppose it must be even worse for you than the rest of us."
He did not, however, invite them in.
"He was a great man," Hazō said. "I know that, as Hokage, everyone in Leaf was his family. Thanks to him, I think we understand what that means now."
Kenta nodded.
"Is Akane in? I'd like to talk to her."
If possible, Kenta looked even more melancholy.
"You mean you don't know?"
"Know what?" Hazō asked with an inexplicable touch of anxiety.
"Heroes' Graveyard," Kenta said tersely. "Bring incense."
With that, he closed the door. He didn't respond to any further knocking.
-o-
Hazō ran like the wind. No, faster than the wind, his teammates scrambling to keep up. It had to be a mistake. He must have misunderstood something. Nothing could have happened to Akane in the safe, peaceful Leaf they'd left behind. And besides, Tsunade would have said something if it had.
It was only when they were past the graveyard gates that he understood.
"Hazō!" Akane choked out from within the world's strongest hug. "Hazō, can't breathe!"
"Sorry," Hazō said, quickly disengaging.
"I thought I was going to die," Akane exclaimed with a wince. "I missed you too, but… ow."
"Sorry," Hazō said again.
"We brought incense," he said sheepishly.
"Thanks. I was running low."
Hazō looked down at the sticks next to her. "Maito Gai?"
Akane's expression sobered instantly. "Yeah. They haven't prepared a memorial for him yet. I've been coming every day. I know I should be training, but…"
"Sorry, Akane," Noburi said. "He was the most youthful man I'd ever met."
Hazō couldn't disagree with that statement.
Akane nodded. "I guess it's up to us now. Me and Rock Lee. We need to find more people, to make sure Leaf doesn't forget the Spirit of Youth when we die, but it feels like the wrong time to be proselytising, you know?"
To Hazō, it felt like the wrong time for everything. Why couldn't the world in general, and Hyūga in particular, just shut up and let them mourn in peace?
"About that," he said instead. "You know how I'm Gōketsu clan head now?"
Akane gave him a strange look. "I guess you are. I know you must be under a lot of pressure right now, but I'm sure you'll make a great leader. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help." Hazō knew Akane well enough to notice that there was something, some unidentifiable edge in her voice that he usually associated with Keiko.
"You can," Hazō said. "Join us."
Akane's eyes lit up. The edge disappeared. "Do you mean that?"
"I mean it. I'm sorry for not saying it a long time ago. We're all family, and we were stupid to leave our sister out in the cold."
"You actually mean it?"
"You betcha," Noburi said. "Took us a while to figure that one out. Not just teammates, not just clan, but real family, no less than Hana is to Hazō, or Ami is to Keiko, or Aya and Saya are to me. I challenge any other family out there to have bonds stronger than ours.
"Also, I'm cool with calling you 'big sis' as long as you spoil me appropriately."
"Listen to them," Kagome said with mock despair. "I could've told them we were family months ago."
"You realise that makes you our cousin, right, Kagome?" Noburi said with an eyeroll. "No vague 'I must protect my family' stuff anymore—you're officially our whateverth cousin once removed. And we're yours."
"Huh," Kagome said wonderingly. "So… so you are. I'd never thought of it like that…" He turned away.
"To clarify," Keiko said to Akane, "we are offering you adoption into the Gōketsu Clan, with the full rights and responsibilities pertaining thereto, under Hazō's Jiraiya-mandated leadership."
Akane stared at her as if at a loss for words.
"After all," Keiko added wryly, "any family can be expected to have one black sheep."
-o-
Kei should have done this sooner. She had known that news of the battle had preceded their arrival. She should have hastened here the hour, nay, the minute she saw the casualty lists. Instead, it had taken duty to propel her, and the discovery that Tenten and Akane were not together. Kei ran for the training grounds.
The training dummies were all but made of iron, but Tenten continued throwing missiles without end. Her ever-capable, ever-alert girlfriend barely registered her approach.
"Tenten."
Tenten lowered her arms.
"Keiko."
In Tenten's uniquely-expressive eyes, Kei read a reflection of her own feelings. Pain. Anger. Helplessness… but also guilt.
If there was one thing Kei had not felt upon receiving news of Jiraiya's death, it was guilt. In the final moments, she had given all she had to that relationship, had for once acted like a competent human being. She was not the one who had failed to transcend her limits.
"Tenten?"
Tenten recovered her shuriken, then beckoned her over to their tree. They sat.
"Chūnin were permitted," she whispered.
There had been five chūnin on the Leaf casualty list. Five who had been in Mist with Jiraiya at the time, and had gone to fight alongside him on Nagi Island. Five chūnin whose impact on the battle, if any, would remain forever unknown.
But also five chūnin who never returned. The most probable outcome… was that Tenten would have changed nothing, and then been forever lost to her.
Tenten nodded as if following the chain of thought, then closed her eyes. "No right answer."
Just like last time she had seen Tenten so distressed, Kei could say nothing, could offer nothing. Indeed, it was positively selfish of her to have added another layer of suffering to Tenten's already troubled mind with her influence on Tenten's life.
They sat in silence, Kei as close as she could. She wished to believe that the distance was narrowing, little by little, but if so, the process was slow enough that it would require whatever the opposite of a telescope was to identify. They watched silently as the winter sun set, early enough that it was as if the day had never been.
She recalled the promises she had made to herself during the Chūnin Exam, the personal rewards that would be worth far more to her than a medal bestowed by Captain Zabuza before a crowd of strangers—and far more frightening.
But even Kei's social skills were enough to tell her this was not the time.
Instead, she would make the offer she had come to make, and perhaps the gifts she offered would salve Tenten's spirit, if only a little.
"Tenten… the Gōketsu Clan is preparing to undergo a phase of expansion. We are seeking talented non-clan shinobi. Would you like to join us?"
Tenten's response took barely a second.
"No."
Had Kei not been sitting down, she would have staggered back.
"Are you quite certain?"
Tenten nodded.
"But why? Adoption is the greatest gift a clan can offer."
"Freedom," Tenten said simply.
Freedom? An alien concept for a shinobi. The closest Kei had come to freedom was as a missing-nin, her choices conditioned by nothing more than the need to survive while evading the pursuit of the world's greatest hunter-nin. Fundamentally, all choices were made by others, or by the demands of the situation. Perhaps Tenten's experience was less painful than her own—it would not be difficult—but enough so to refuse this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?
"You would have access to resources far beyond the reach of a common-born," Kei pleaded.
Tenten turned her head to indicate the vague direction of her home, then her shuriken holster. "All I need."
"You would have protection from anybody seeking to exploit you, or manipulate you, or simply interfere with your life!"
Tenten held out a hand, palm up. "Too valuable." Then the other hand, as if completing a set of scales. "Not valuable enough." She gave an ironic smile.
"A secure income!"
"Leaf needs to show strength. Reassure clients. Many D-ranks, C-ranks."
Kei, increasingly desperate, only barely stopped herself from appealing to Tenten's loss of direction now that Maito Gai was dead.
Finally, she took the plunge.
"Me!"
Tenten looked at her with perfectly clear eyes.
"I already have you. Always and forever."
And with that, Kei fell silent.
But later, before she left, there was one more distressing conversation remaining.
"Tenten… I must make a difficult, perhaps dangerous, decision, and there is no one else I can ask for help…"
-o-
You have received 0 XP.
-o-
What do you do?
Voting ends on Saturday 18th of May, 9 a.m. New York Time.
Voting ends on Saturday 18th of May, 9 a.m. New York Time.
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Are there any sealing projects that could be done by Hazo while he's a diplomat in Mist?
- Location
- Actually pretty lost
Huh, surprised Tenten said no. I suppose that explains why she turned down previous adoption offers, but I figured her closeness with Keiko would overcome that; apparently she's secure enough in their relationship it doesn't factor in, though.
Panic.jpg
What's she talking about?
- Location
- Australia
What a troll.
- Location
- Europa, Jupiter Orbit
It's either wedding or Pangolin related IMO.
- Location
- UK
You win this one, Velorien.
- Location
- Yes.
- Location
- Europe
Those people have to much agency. Doing whatever they want without informing/obeying us.
Gah.
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
I would like you to know that you didn't fool me, not even for a second.
And that I did not scroll down furiously when I read the words 'Ishihara' or 'graveyard' until I saw that Akane was fine.
Just, you know, setting the record straight and all that.
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- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Sidebar in which I express solely my own opinions on a topic I have not yet raised with the other QMs:
Lately, I've noticed an attitude developing of "Forget the word limits on plans, it is important that we fit all this stuff in!" This results in y'all not getting the bonus XP you should have gotten, or actually getting negative XP. What's actually happening, however, is that there's more stuff being put in the plan than the QMs can write in one update, so it was all wasted. We are left sad at not finishing the plan, you are left frustrated at not having the plan finished, you lose XP, and no one wins.
This concerns me a great deal.
I strongly request that when making the next plan you really focus on getting that bonus XP. It's fine to have only one or two scenes in the update instead of a dozen.
To show what I'm talking about, let's dissect the latest plan. It's 399 words -- for which I applaud y'all, since that one last word that you saved had a lot of marginal value! -- but let's review what it covers. I've labeled things as 'Scene', meaning they require significant wordcount, or 'Vignette', which is something that can be breezed over quickly or even offscreened.
Vignette: Talk to the family about adopting Akane and Tenten.
Scene 1: Talk to Akane (assuming she's alive) and offer adoption.
Scene/Vignette: Talk to Tenten, offer adoption. (This could easily be a full scene.)
Scene 2: Discuss Lee. Keiko feels strongly enough on the subject that it's definitely a scene, not a vignette and definitely not offscreenable.
Vignette: Discuss inter-village adoption.
Scenes: 2.5
Vignettes: 2.5
Vignettes: 2.5
V: 2.5
S: 4.5
V: 3.5
S: 6
V: 3.5
V: 3.5
This could easily be two separate scenes, but I'm being generous and assuming that the entire Tower part could be offscreened and rolled into the Kagome conversation.
V: 3.5
Some of this could be offscreened, some of it could be combined. Let's call it 1 scene.
V: 3.5
V: 3.5
Another absolutely enormous chunk, counting as 1.5 scenes.
Grand total: 10.5 scenes and 3.5 vignettes.
I haven't actually done the math, but let's say that my updates average 3,000 words and 3 scenes, meaning that a scene is about 1k words.[1] I think that's actually generous -- I suspect I actually average more like 2.5 scenes, but let's round up to make the math easy. We'll also assume that a vignette averages 250 words (about 500 if it's half a scene, or 0 if it can be offscreened).
This plan requires almost 12,000 words. To put that in perspective, a short novel is about 60,000 words and there's very roughly 300 words on a paperback-book page. Most authors, me among them, average about 500 words of writing per hour, so this plan is looking for a solid 24 hours of writing, or roughly a part-time job worth. That's leaving out questions of "How much time will the QMs need to spend on worldbuilding in order to write this?" Assume that everything to do with the 7th Path will require worldbuilding time, as will anything that would have game mechanics associated with it. Call that an extra hour (and I'm being generous -- it's likely more) for discussion in QM chat, assuming that we're all available and compos mentis and that things go smoothly.
Regardless, this plan covers AT LEAST 4 updates. That means you could have left out 3/4 of what was in here, AND given more detail if you'd wanted to, AND still gotten yourself a bonus XP.
[1] Note that 3k words is about 6-8 hours of writing once editing is taken into account. Add another 3 hours (average) if there's combat, since it takes a while to figure out all the best tactics and then do the mechanics, and then there is inevitably some mistake that forces me to go back and redo a whole bunch of stuff.
EDIT: I didn't allow for the idea that some vigenettes could be offscreened. Fixed.
Lately, I've noticed an attitude developing of "Forget the word limits on plans, it is important that we fit all this stuff in!" This results in y'all not getting the bonus XP you should have gotten, or actually getting negative XP. What's actually happening, however, is that there's more stuff being put in the plan than the QMs can write in one update, so it was all wasted. We are left sad at not finishing the plan, you are left frustrated at not having the plan finished, you lose XP, and no one wins.
This concerns me a great deal.
I strongly request that when making the next plan you really focus on getting that bonus XP. It's fine to have only one or two scenes in the update instead of a dozen.
To show what I'm talking about, let's dissect the latest plan. It's 399 words -- for which I applaud y'all, since that one last word that you saved had a lot of marginal value! -- but let's review what it covers. I've labeled things as 'Scene', meaning they require significant wordcount, or 'Vignette', which is something that can be breezed over quickly or even offscreened.
Vignette: Talk to the family about adopting Akane and Tenten.
Scene 1: Talk to Akane (assuming she's alive) and offer adoption.
Scene/Vignette: Talk to Tenten, offer adoption. (This could easily be a full scene.)
Scene 2: Discuss Lee. Keiko feels strongly enough on the subject that it's definitely a scene, not a vignette and definitely not offscreenable.
Vignette: Discuss inter-village adoption.
Scenes: 2.5
Vignettes: 2.5
Scenes: 3.5
Vignettes: 2.5
S: 4.5
V: 2.5
The appointment and Toad scroll bits could be V but talking to Kabuto about adoption is definitely an S. On the other hand, the above does not explicitly state that you're making the offer, just that you're considering it, so let's be generous and call all of this a V.
S: 4.5
V: 3.5
This is logically all one conversation, but it's huge. I'm calling it 1.5 scenes.
S: 6
V: 3.5
S: 7
V: 3.5
This could easily be two separate scenes, but I'm being generous and assuming that the entire Tower part could be offscreened and rolled into the Kagome conversation.
S: 8
V: 3.5
Some of this could be offscreened, some of it could be combined. Let's call it 1 scene.
S: 9
V: 3.5
S: 10.5
V: 3.5
Another absolutely enormous chunk, counting as 1.5 scenes.
Grand total: 10.5 scenes and 3.5 vignettes.
I haven't actually done the math, but let's say that my updates average 3,000 words and 3 scenes, meaning that a scene is about 1k words.[1] I think that's actually generous -- I suspect I actually average more like 2.5 scenes, but let's round up to make the math easy. We'll also assume that a vignette averages 250 words (about 500 if it's half a scene, or 0 if it can be offscreened).
This plan requires almost 12,000 words. To put that in perspective, a short novel is about 60,000 words and there's very roughly 300 words on a paperback-book page. Most authors, me among them, average about 500 words of writing per hour, so this plan is looking for a solid 24 hours of writing, or roughly a part-time job worth. That's leaving out questions of "How much time will the QMs need to spend on worldbuilding in order to write this?" Assume that everything to do with the 7th Path will require worldbuilding time, as will anything that would have game mechanics associated with it. Call that an extra hour (and I'm being generous -- it's likely more) for discussion in QM chat, assuming that we're all available and compos mentis and that things go smoothly.
Regardless, this plan covers AT LEAST 4 updates. That means you could have left out 3/4 of what was in here, AND given more detail if you'd wanted to, AND still gotten yourself a bonus XP.
Please. There's a reason that we offer bonus XP for short plans. If you're not getting that XP and there's more than one scene in the plan then you're doing it wrong. Just cut down the number of things you're trying to do instead of copyediting the plan to use fewer words.
[1] Note that 3k words is about 6-8 hours of writing once editing is taken into account. Add another 3 hours (average) if there's combat, since it takes a while to figure out all the best tactics and then do the mechanics, and then there is inevitably some mistake that forces me to go back and redo a whole bunch of stuff.
EDIT: I didn't allow for the idea that some vigenettes could be offscreened. Fixed.
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Finally! Someone who understood my lamentation. I said those things in various ways but not as clearly as you.
- Location
- Academy City
- Pronouns
- They
Assassinate Hiashi Hyuuga and convince Asuma to not run for Hokage
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Ha! I knew it. It's clear as day now, Tsunade won't hurt a fly. All bark and no bite.
Descriptions of Keiko's and Zabuza's jounin auras were so fascinating. I've always wanted to see what Tsunade's feels like, and now we know we'll survive the attempt.
[х] Mouth off to Tsunade for abandoning Leaf to Hiashi
Descriptions of Keiko's and Zabuza's jounin auras were so fascinating. I've always wanted to see what Tsunade's feels like, and now we know we'll survive the attempt.
[х] Mouth off to Tsunade for abandoning Leaf to Hiashi
- Location
- North Wales
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
I think the scene-heavy plans are just an attempt to minimise the risk of losing in-universe time by getting timeskipped on the assumption we had nothing left we wanted done that day.
When this happened in the past, it's never really been important, because either the final scene ends in such a way that it's obvious the next update will be a direct continuation, or we're not time-pressured and it doesn't matter if what we want to do waits til the next day.
Right now, time is a particularly precious resource. We can outline a morning conversation that takes a 3,000 word update to cover, but only an hour of in-universe time. If the afternoon then gets skipped because that was the extent of the day's plan, that's an expensive loss. "We still have more to do today if there's time remaining, detail in later plans" would be a useful shortcut.
When this happened in the past, it's never really been important, because either the final scene ends in such a way that it's obvious the next update will be a direct continuation, or we're not time-pressured and it doesn't matter if what we want to do waits til the next day.
Right now, time is a particularly precious resource. We can outline a morning conversation that takes a 3,000 word update to cover, but only an hour of in-universe time. If the afternoon then gets skipped because that was the extent of the day's plan, that's an expensive loss. "We still have more to do today if there's time remaining, detail in later plans" would be a useful shortcut.
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Chapter 264 still feel like we hadn't made use of the time between Tsunade and Naruto's update. It should takes only a few hours at most to explain the implication to Akane's family. Maybe an hour long conversation for Keiko, but we still can do something in parallel to Keiko.
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- Location
- The state of Paranoia
I may be wrong, but I was under the impression that part of it was that we were afraid that we might run out of plan and that Hazō would keep going throughout the rest of a day or something, losing time. Obviously the plan is excessive even then, but perhaps we could rectify this by having the QMs and players agree beforehand on how many scenes the next update should be (2, for example, maybe with another limit on vignettes), and that no matter what the update stops there. This incentivizes players to not add excess scenes, because they know that those scenes won't be shown.
Another thing we were probably worried about was that some scenes would not be possible, like something that would impact the Naruto conversation. Not sure how to fix that problem though.
Edit:
Gavin Prince's idea would probably work well in conjunction with agreeing on number of scenes.
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- Location
- Kiev, Ukraine
It was strangely heartwarming to see rhese interactions. And, yes, you got me there for a second with all the graveyard bullshit
I completely agree with shorter plans and I would really appreciate if we were going into more details about one or two scenes, rather than in more scenes.
However, there is also a problem of IC timing. I haven't been around long enough, but most updates take a day of in-universe time and it makes sense since, IIRC 3-4XP is what we should get for one day. I understand that a lot of player have a feeling that whatever we put in a plan will cover one day and try to put a day-worth of Action in them. Maybe that's just me, though.
I would happily agree to make plans with 1-2 scenes and with 0-1 XP reward conditional on them actually taking less IC time.
What would you say to this proposal, everyone?
E: heh, ninja'd
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- Location
- Europa, Jupiter Orbit
@eaglejarl The thing is that we often don't know both which scenes are most appropriate to be offscreened and how much time in an in story day any given scene takes.
If I could make a suggestion, telling us the time and date at the end of an update would allow us to get a feel for stuff and reassure us that a day isn't over when a short plan is over.
Lastly, maybe you can just tell us a plan is long and unwieldy before the closing deadline. I know that you don't want to unduly influence our plans, given the whole premise of this quest, but completely meta suggestions on how to fix our plans that don't have anything to do with actual in story decisions should be okay, no?
If I could make a suggestion, telling us the time and date at the end of an update would allow us to get a feel for stuff and reassure us that a day isn't over when a short plan is over.
Lastly, maybe you can just tell us a plan is long and unwieldy before the closing deadline. I know that you don't want to unduly influence our plans, given the whole premise of this quest, but completely meta suggestions on how to fix our plans that don't have anything to do with actual in story decisions should be okay, no?
- Location
- Yes.
I've always thought of plans as being "Hey, here's a list of things we want to do, go ahead and pick some things you'd want to write on-screen, off-screen a few more, and we'll add the rest into a future plan". Otherwise we'd get into this situation where we have not enough 'stuff to do', which leads to wasted in-game time, usually before or between scenes; or have issues if a scene can't happen (like if Akane was dead, we couldn't have that scene and the only thing that would happen was the Tenten scene, plus screaming in Kagome). Also bad.
The obvious solution is to be far more detailed with timing and have some brief backup ideas that could be off-screened, like (for this update) doing research if we found out Akane wasn't available. Maybe we could try that.
The obvious solution is to be far more detailed with timing and have some brief backup ideas that could be off-screened, like (for this update) doing research if we found out Akane wasn't available. Maybe we could try that.