- Location
- Texas
He doesn't need to disappear Yuno, he can probably rightfully execute her 🤷♂️
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
You were... vehement
- Location
- a
Yeah no issue there. I was just noting the contrast, not in any way saying that hazou was at fault, atleast objectively speaking.
I know there's a posibility on that but let's not open another can of worms while we haven't deal with this one AAAAAAAAAAAAA
On that note, atleast while this hidan contact thing has been nothing but a mess, we might get info from hidan on akanes killers due to his op blood powers which is good.
Wait but meeting him again will open another jashinism controversy nooooo..... when will this end 😭
- Location
- The Soviet Republic of Canuckistan
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Jashin is our racist, anti-capitalist uncle. He has pretty reliably given us five bucks at holidays and we might be able to get more out of him, but we don't hold with a lot of his beliefs.
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Once we do the trade deal with [Ino], word is going to get out that Hazou's taking commissions. I wonder how many people will reach out to us. Because Hazou "I reinvented the tactics of war as a genin, and am now a special jonin" Goketsu will be getting reached out to.
- Location
- Yes.
HINATA: ...and so that's the kind of seal we want. *attempts to convey to Hazou that the seals will be used to exterminate the Minami without stating it out loud*
HAZOU: *is completely oblivious, does not get it*
-THREE WEEKS LATER-
HYUGA CLAN: *receives anti-Minami seals*
HYUGA ELDERS: *smiling externally*
HINATA: *screaming internally*
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
-MEANWHILE-
Hazou: "Hey everyone, look! We got some THing lootboxes!"
Entities with too much power and unaligned with our goals keep hindering our path to fully automated chakra communism.
Our track record of reaching compromises to work around/with these entities has resulted in unacceptable delays and losses.
The Armageddon Initiative is not enough for me. Instead i propose a top-down approach:
[X] Kill god
Study how Jashin and Frozen skein interfere with our plane. Max sealing until we can kill Jashin. Kill, not seal away.
All other goals are secondary. Delegate all work where possible. Let someone else deal with the Dragons. Let Kagome work on the rift. Once open, try and convince Jiraia and Nagato to kill the Dragons if they're still around. Pretend to acquiesce to any demands from Hidan or Asuma, or do the bare minimum to get them off our backs with reasonable deniability.
Once we have killed Jashin, search and evaluate all other out-of-plane meddlers. Expunge them at the first whiff of misaligment with our goals. Research where they come from and destroy that too. Use these god-killing tools to force everyone else to leave the status quo and reshape this world into what it should be: a sum-positive place for intelligent beings with a strong bias against defectors.
After 2 generations of mostly just weeding out corruption whenever it pops up and researching better systems of governance, share the god-killing tools freely, putting the destiny of humanity back on humanity's hands. Breathe deeply and enjoy sunset one last time before destroying connection to hivemind.
Our track record of reaching compromises to work around/with these entities has resulted in unacceptable delays and losses.
The Armageddon Initiative is not enough for me. Instead i propose a top-down approach:
[X] Kill god
Study how Jashin and Frozen skein interfere with our plane. Max sealing until we can kill Jashin. Kill, not seal away.
All other goals are secondary. Delegate all work where possible. Let someone else deal with the Dragons. Let Kagome work on the rift. Once open, try and convince Jiraia and Nagato to kill the Dragons if they're still around. Pretend to acquiesce to any demands from Hidan or Asuma, or do the bare minimum to get them off our backs with reasonable deniability.
Once we have killed Jashin, search and evaluate all other out-of-plane meddlers. Expunge them at the first whiff of misaligment with our goals. Research where they come from and destroy that too. Use these god-killing tools to force everyone else to leave the status quo and reshape this world into what it should be: a sum-positive place for intelligent beings with a strong bias against defectors.
After 2 generations of mostly just weeding out corruption whenever it pops up and researching better systems of governance, share the god-killing tools freely, putting the destiny of humanity back on humanity's hands. Breathe deeply and enjoy sunset one last time before destroying connection to hivemind.
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Do we know what element Sasha (our Goketsu who graduates the academy in 6 months) is?
Statistically, she should be Fire Element, but surprisingly few of our Leaf-born Goketsu Ninja have been Fire Element.
@eaglejarl, @Velorien, @Paperclipped
Is there any way I could bribe y'all to add these to the Player Known Jutsu Doc?
[Slides over 🍪 ]
Statistically, she should be Fire Element, but surprisingly few of our Leaf-born Goketsu Ninja have been Fire Element.
@eaglejarl, @Velorien, @Paperclipped
Is there any way I could bribe y'all to add these to the Player Known Jutsu Doc?
[Slides over 🍪 ]
- Location
- Yes.
It's entirely possible she hasn't been tested, since we needed to get Jiraiya to check Akane's affinity and she went missing-nin right before she graduated from the Academy.
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Ah, poop-muffins.
I may or may not be plotting entire branches of possible builds for Sasha (depending on what Element she is, and how she wants to specialize) for fun-sies.
I really hope we get her character sheet. I joined too late in the game to have much influence over Kei/Akane/Hazou's build, so I'm a little excited at the prospect of this.
- Location
- Yes.
[X] Make Sasha Fire Element, retroactively give her Elemental Mastery
Omake: A Murder God Is You
- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
Omake: A Murder God Is You
Kagome-sensei had warned him, long ago: a stressed-out, fatigued, or freshly-traumatised sealmaster could fall prey to a dangerous fallacy, a failed conception. Saviour Syndrome. The deeply-held belief that by scribing the right seal, the sufficient array, the perfect plan, the superlative list, one could make all well and fix what cannot be. An obligatorily destructive endeavour, that belief put in practice only ever resulted in tragedy.
But Hazō was not a stressed-out, fatigued, or freshly traumatised sealmaster. Indeed, he felt more lucid than he had at any point in the last month. And he had outgrown his master, for all that he respected him, they both knew it.
No longer did he use the flawed creations of men, in an art that granted, was long-developed and elegant, but he now was tapping into the primeval substances that shaped the world.
Hazō was stressed-out, fatigued, and freshly-traumatised, but sealmaster was no longer a satisfactory nomer. By eschewing the need for paper and tools, bypassing simple carvings (an eidolon of the purer arts), and skipping ahead to the true heart of sealing, stolen fully-shaped from the earth in high-relief like gargantuan bones of a dread beast, he was now a sealshaper.
With but a detailed thought, and application of his chakra, from the ground could rise his machines, written in a language both too deep for the matter they were made of and too true to be made of anything else. Around him, pillars, arches, roofs, would grow fully formed. Chains and branches would sprout and link diverse structures, geometrical yet irregular interlockings of mazes he knew the secret to, with no correct path but all at once and sideways through time.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
That was the theory. After a week of planning, the practice in effect left him panting, exhausted, in the dead city of stone and dirt he infused his life-force shaping from the ground. More power than he had would be required to power this mad labyrinth of serpentine angles, but he had accounted for this.
A step one, done and over with. Drinking a vial of water containing the power of his brother's birth right, he felt the familiar buzzing of an energy not his own, untamed and yet within himself. He pushed every last bit of that chakra in the displaced earth around him.
The structure could power itself through its basic function, amplifying the power in magnitude and essence, burning itself into the world as a fully-powered engine of both order and chaos.
When the infusion succeeded, a thin crust of earth fell off the newly-formed Seal, willing itself into existence, made of gleaming crystals with an air of ice, inspired by the lattices that so entranced his sister. The enhanced power was visible, coursing through the crystal as though it were veins of a waking behemoth, somehow both skeletal and gigantic.
All that was left for the exhausted man in the labyrinth was to jolt his consciousness a tiny bit out of frame. Move it slightly out of the way, disconnect it a bit from the body it was stuck in, and his Last Seal would do the rest.
Breathing in, Hazō focused on Akane and Ino, twain anchors of his to the material world. He held their images in his mind, the scent of their hair, the glint of their many smiles, the heat from their skin.
Breathing out, he let go of them.
And he was gone.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Fire.
Fire and screaming and crashes. That was what it would feel like, if Hazō could still feel.
Unprotected by the Paint and the cobweb of "reality," he splintered. Guided by a machine more real than anything else, the splinters recompiled. Rebuilt themselves. Recombined into a being greater than he'd ever been.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Hazō - no, the new-Hazō, Shin-Hazō, knew what to do. Thrown at the beginning of time, with life eternal, he could... he could solve it. Learn every secret, find every loophole, avoid wars, achieve Uplift easily, even rescue Akane...
He saw her die again, murdered by Rock spies in broad daylight.
But he could do this. He had to. He erected the Last Seal again, sending his spirit into the depths of time again. He would manipulate the world line more carefully.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Hazō (Shin) would do everything to prevent the last war, robbing them of the cause for murder.
But Akane did not live to be born in a world without the source of Rock and Leaf's enmity.
He built his Last Seal once more. This time, he would be more hands-on.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Hasshin would not prevent wars. Civilians, ninja, nobles, animals, they all were dead more times than saving them once would be worth. The weight of the hundredfold sin of letting them die, compounded by millions of lives on each world, bore on his back. But he needed to solve this. He had to see it through to the end. And if he failed... if he failed he could always try again.
Akane lived, but he was fatally wounded in saving her. Only time enough to activate it all again, with reserves long prepared - just in case.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Hashin expended lives time and again, eliminating threats, burning causality at the root. He would burn it all, all, to protect her. To save her. To make things right again.
She took her own life when he did, his unseen hand crafting a world too bleak for her to survive in.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Jashin taught murder, indiscriminate murder, moderated by repopulation. All to a select few. Plans in centuries, tactics over decades, strategies by the ebb and flow of generations. Wars played like symphonies to the ear of the Mad God. Invisibly guiding his pawns to the only end state to the game that he would accept. The only end that could be.
He would fix the world. He would make it right. He was bringing Akane back, no matter what.
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
And, at the time, not memeing. This is faflec after all, notable for regularly voting for Armageddon Initiative and, as seen in his sig, "endless, varied, and repeating panicked screaming in Kagome", but also known for reliably making sane plans that advance our goals without exposing us to undue risks.
There's nothing dissonant here, beyond the typical dynamic where we feel free to indulge in dark humour when we're not doing serious-mode planmaking. I trust him to make good sane plans and good sane suggestions to existing plans, and I trust him to vote to destroy the world every month or so, as one does.
- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
Blargh. I'm bad at telling when these things are serious or not. "Have Mari brainwash someone" is basically the structure of plans we've seen in the past, so...
- Location
- Yes.
[X] Praise Be to Lord Jashin
- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
Obviously we can't let Yuno convert the rest of the Gōketsu. We said nothing about Hazō doing exactly that, though.
- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
The Otter aspect, perhaps
chanting
Threadmark! Threadmark! Threadmark!
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Hey, don't be too hard on yourself. The hivemind has been known to fall into the occasional bout of manic insanity (see: Youthsuit Incident) or uncharacteristic forgetfulness (see: revealing Akane's EM abilities at the chunnin exams). Not to mention the past few updates have been very high-intensity, and reading tone through textual mediums is a difficult thing, indeed.
Give yourself the same grace you would extend to your friends. ^.^
- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
Thank you for your kind words - that said this is more of a "part of a wider pattern that seems to indicate autism" thing than a "not extending patience to oneself" thing. Need to work on expecting irony/sarcasm more often ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Noburi isn't going to be doing the surgery if we go that route with Naruto. To get Naruto on board where going to have to go through Asuma. Which means it won't be our OP. Either Tsunade or Oro will do the surgery.
I'd also like to point out that by going this route we can only pull off the rescue Pain plan without commiting some major treason.