Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
- Location
- Yes.
faflec.reaction
- Pronouns
- He/Him
"W-what are you doing step sis?!"
Voting is still closed, so I assume it's coming this Sunday
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Blerg.
Can we timeskip until this Jashin arc is over, and Yuno is un-brainwashed? We just wanted to meet with the Akatsuki in Hot Springs, throw money at them, and then return to Leaf so we can finish the Minato Seals. ;-;
- Location
- Yes.
[X] Armageddon Initiative
Everything about this situation is so fucked. 💀
Sometimes I really get sick of the way we (well, mostly other voters before my time) have painted ourselves into a tiny little corner, and have so little room left to move.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
> 20 years later
More seriously, brainwashing is a seriously difficult thing to untangle even IRL, much less in this setting where she might actually be blessed or cursed by some sort of malevolent entity (Hidan seemed to detect that she was a "true believer" when talking to Noburi the first time, and Yuno wasn't even present, and had never even heard of Jashin at the time.)
TBH I kinda lean towards Yuno is actually "blessed" by Jashin. She's been doing the bathe in blood thing since she was five years old. Makes sense that Hidan was able to pick up on it from a different continent.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
The simple solution is to become stronger than everyone else so no one can tell us what to do
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Even phrasing it as "worship" is a bit weird. That implies Hazou is regularly submitting to Jashin's authority in any way. The only time he's evern prayed to Jashin was before the Jiraiya Seance and when we were looking for Akane, both of which can be written of as moments of desperation, grasping at straws, rather than any genuine religious devotion.
Other than that, Hazou does his own thing for his own reasons. Jashin's the one who throws cash/dice rolls/shinies Hazou's way. It'd be like seeing someone garden, saying "you're my serf!" and then spending years fertilizing the gardener's garden with your own fertilizer, fixing their hedges with your own trimmers, etc., all while the gardener spends 99.9% of his time ignoring you.
If the gardener was gardening before you showed up, doesn't thank you for your help, and the gardener fully intends to keep gardening if you stop helping, can you really have any claim to that gardener's actions?
Was Hazou worshipping Jashin back when they were missing nin, and Hazou came up with Uplift? Was Noburi worshipping Jashin when he fixed the gap-mouthed baby?
TL;DR: Religion is weird and twisty.
Other than that, Hazou does his own thing for his own reasons. Jashin's the one who throws cash/dice rolls/shinies Hazou's way. It'd be like seeing someone garden, saying "you're my serf!" and then spending years fertilizing the gardener's garden with your own fertilizer, fixing their hedges with your own trimmers, etc., all while the gardener spends 99.9% of his time ignoring you.
If the gardener was gardening before you showed up, doesn't thank you for your help, and the gardener fully intends to keep gardening if you stop helping, can you really have any claim to that gardener's actions?
Was Hazou worshipping Jashin back when they were missing nin, and Hazou came up with Uplift? Was Noburi worshipping Jashin when he fixed the gap-mouthed baby?
TL;DR: Religion is weird and twisty.
I got bad news for you, we regularly write praying to Jashin into plans. Doesn't get much screen time, but just for example, we did it before the Hyena fight. There have been many other times.
- Location
- The Soviet Republic of Canuckistan
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Lowkey expecting it to be a shitshow; we might be able to stem the bleeding if we're lucky but there's no way that this doesn't represent a Medium for our clan, at least.
Un-brainwashing Yuno is going to require our direct intervention as someone who is now deeply involved in her being brainwashed. I think that if we put a good three updates of energy towards it, hammering on common-sense, compassionate lines like 'we love and care about you for reasons other than your ability to kill things', 'wouldn't it be nice to help create a world where every little girl grows up with a loving family, e.g. you adopting Uplift', and 'we are also very weird, here are some social coping mechanisms we've evolved' we can get her on the right track and back-burner things until Hidan shows up again.
But, like, we also need to come to terms with the fact that we didn't just want to do that. We wanted Jashin's power for ourselves. Power has an associated cost.
I legitimately believe that six months of fairly dedicated work would go a long way to getting her straightened out. Ballpark 2-4 years for her to be able to go 'man, I was fucked up, thank you for helping me out'. (I have seen such things play out on similar timelines IRL.)
However, that ain't gonna happen until she feels she has a problem and puts the work in. The good news is that we can probably get her to buy into that idea.
Last edited:
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Or rather, it's like you're helping out the gardener, and then someone else says that the gardener is your serf.
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
On the whole, I agree, but I also lack the spoons to write/optimize suchs plans. I'll vote in that direction sure, but I lack the cognitive resources to contribute, other than "throw Mari and Ami at Yuno, and follow their directions, if they give any."
At least ES just cured the last Medium.
How does the saying go "you can't unbreak eggs"? I'm pretty firmly convinced that we can't do anything about Yuno's Jashinism and in fact, we should stay the hell away.
I can't imagine saying any of that would make anything better. She's not upset. She's excited to share her newfound Jashinism with the rest of the clan. How is showing compassion supposed to keep her from murdering people? She likes murdering people, in her view compassion would be joining in.
Let's let Nobs and Mari handle this, we are making it worse by meddling
- Location
- The Soviet Republic of Canuckistan
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I've always heard 'you can't put toothpaste back in the tube'.
I have an omake half-written with a detailed approach. I agree that compassion alone isn't going to do it here: first, she needs to be disabused of the lies and manipulations Hazo foisted on her.
They're going to need to pull us in at some point because we're central to this.
I'm fine with doing whatever they ask, but only when they ask. Let them take the lead and let them pull Hazou in when the time is right.
Which lies and manipulations are those? Jashin is real? Hazou is his favorite? None of those are even lies, just like, not good ideas to spread around Leaf.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Which part do you consider a lie/manipulation? Hazou in this very chapter internally admitted to Jashin affiliation. The plan that talked to Yuno said, "Engage with Jashinism seriously" and "Be authentic." I think this is where the QM headache of 'keeping Hazou characterization consistent' really shows itself, cuz it seems pretty clear to me people aren't on the same page about his stance on Jashin, especially when it's colored by what they personally want that stance to be
- Location
- Yes.
- Location
- The Soviet Republic of Canuckistan
- Pronouns
- He/Him
The part where we acted like we authentically believed in Jashin as something we're really into, at opposed to a weird supernatural entity with whom we have serious ideological beef.
Uplift is functionally incompatible with Hidan's interpretation of Jashinism (e.g., blood for the blood god). The only death that Uplift is actually okay with is old age, and by 'old age', I mean 'world-class medical ninjutsu can do no more for this person'. We only believe in balance insofar as right now, the universe is dying and we want to move towards equilibrium...and then all the way past it into the dawn of a new era for humanity.
Last edited:
Asuma did that, Hazou even argued against it. He just wasn't willing to go missing to warn them.