- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
- Location
- Australia
Note that having Naruto as the head of our clan does some very important things for us. It gives us a lot of legitimacy. It makes it a lot harder for people like Hiashi to frame us or arrange for our spurious execution by ANBU when the clan isn't lead by a traitor.
Edit: I completely agree that we should go talk to Naruto before the adoption stuff and talk to him about it.
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Evenstar
Triple Jump Unlocked
- Location
- Canada
- Pronouns
- She/Her
So far as I can tell, your argument boils down to "All the victories of this so-called great diplomat rely on other people."
... Isn't that literally evidence that he was good at diplomacy?
- Location
- Europa, Jupiter Orbit
@faflec Since your plan is rapidly gaining support and my favored plan (@Inferno Vulpix) is copying over the most important changes I'll state my concerns:
I much prefer @Inferno Vulpix previous wording from before he changed it to be identical to yours.
As I've said before, I think that this idea is preposterous. No one who remotely cares about what the clan system stands for would be okay with this. "Here's my surname and attached rights of nobility. I don't need it anymore since I'm getting a new one" will not be a thing. Especially not without an S-rank Hokage to push it through by fiat.
What if he doesn't prompt? If he thinks our concerns are minor? Either because he is emotionally compromised, or because he doesn't share our priorities,or because he simply didn't think it through and rushed on to a different subject.
I much prefer @Inferno Vulpix previous wording from before he changed it to be identical to yours.
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Eh, screw lore updates.
[x] Action Plan: Party Growth
@Inferno Vulpix, @faflec, yadda yadda wordcount-optimized Akatsuki price blah blah blah:
Suggestions:
[x] Action Plan: Party Growth
@Inferno Vulpix, @faflec, yadda yadda wordcount-optimized Akatsuki price blah blah blah:
- What did Tsunade say about Mari? Zabuza flashbacks distracted us.
- BotG: get full story.
- Official Tower reports?
- Approach someone who was there. Chouza?
- Chouza: He lost close teammates. Should we suggest collaborating on a memorial?
- Clan growth:
- Adoptions:
- Akane and Tenten: definite picks. If the others agree, make offers ASAP:
- Akane: Make the offer together — she's already family.
- Tenten: Leave to Keiko — she knows her best.
- Lee:
- He's talented, and all alone now after Gai's death.
- Could we mitigate his youthful personality? Soundproofing, house rules...?
- Akane and Tenten: definite picks. If the others agree, make offers ASAP:
- Kagome: Would he train new sealmasters?
- Many ninja will be interested. In exchange, they could make us explosives.
- Adoptions:
- Mari: How was her day? Did she accomplish her goal?
- Toad Scroll: goes to Noburi.
- Great chakra reserves, good social skills.
- Ask Kabuto to check bloodline interactions with summoning and shadow clones?
- Naruto:
- Unless Naruto specifies otherwise, bring Noburi, Keiko, Akane.
- Jiraiya's posthumous letter likely informed him about the clan and Naruto's relation to it.
- We promised Jiraiya we'd support him. Be gentle and understanding.
- Introduce yourselves. Offer condolences. Answer his questions.
- Give him Jiraiya's will.
- If appropriate, give a quick rundown of Team Uplift's history and goals. Inform about the rest of us.
- Ask about the Uzumaki council seat. What'll happen to it if he's adopted?
- Express concerns about Hiashi and his animosity to us.
- If Naruto doesn't have a solution, offer three:
- Vote-in a friendly Hokage, convince them to rule that you wouldn't lose the Uzumaki seat.
- Naruto designates an Uzumaki heir before getting adopted.
- Bind our clans so closely they'd be separate only technically.
- Information-gathering: Akatsuki
- Noburi: Visit the Tower, grab their profiles.
- Kagome: Summarize their book.
- What did Tsunade say about Mari? Zabuza flashbacks distracted us.
- BotG: get full story.
- Official Tower reports?
- Approach someone who was there. Chouza?
- Chouza: He lost close teammates. Should we suggest collaborating on a memorial?
- Adoptions:
- Akane and Tenten: definite picks. If the others agree, make offers ASAP:
- Akane: Make the offer together — she's already family.
- Tenten: Leave to Keiko — she knows her best.
- Lee:
- He's talented, and all alone now after Gai's death.
- Could we mitigate his youthful personality? Soundproofing, house rules...?
- Akane and Tenten: definite picks. If the others agree, make offers ASAP:
- Family:
- Mari: How was her day? Did she accomplish her goal?
- Kagome:
- Give him Jiraiya's seal notes.
- Would he teach adoptees sealling?
- Noburi: Schedule an appointment with Kabuto to:
- Check bloodline interactions with SC and Summoning.
- Yes, the Toad Scroll is Noburi's.
- Suggest adoption.
- Check bloodline interactions with SC and Summoning.
- Naruto:
- Unless Naruto specifies otherwise, bring Noburi, Keiko, Akane.
- We promised Jiraiya we'd support him. Be gentle and understanding.
- Introduce yourselves. Offer condolences. Answer any questions he has.
- Give him Jiraiya's will.
- If he asks, give a quick rundown on our story and motivations.
- Ask about the Uzumaki council seat. What'll happen to it if he's adopted?
- Express concerns about Hiashi's animosity towards us.
- Possible solutions, if prompted:
- Set a ruling that he wouldn't lose the seat.
- Before Naruto is adopted, let him declare an Uzumaki heir.
- Bind our clans so closely they'd be separate only technically.
- Misc.:
- Review Jiraiya's spy network notes, identify easily-securable contacts.
- Send Jiraiya's letter to Orochimaru to the Snakes (via Pangolin messengers).
- Perhaps Orochimaru survived his death; if so, he deserves to have his teammates' last words.
- Information-gathering: Akatsuki
- Noburi: Visit the Tower, grab their profiles.
- Kagome: Summarize their book.
Suggestions:
- So, first of all, time is essential: I suggest we include a lot of stuff in the plan, and then explicitly delegate it. Ideally, it'd unfold like this, split into several viewpoints and two chapters that happen simultaneously. For example, taking faflec's plan as example (not necessarily the most optimal configuration):
- Noburi: Goes to the Tower to get information on adoptions, the official BotG briefing, and Akatsuki. Then meets with Chouza to cross-reference the BotG information and suggest building a memorial.
- Keiko: Reviews Jiraiya's spy network notes. Sends message to the Snakes. [add more?].
- Hazou: Coordinates. Talks to Naruto. [add more].
- Kagome: Reviews Jiraiya's sealing notes.
- Group activities: Discuss adoptions.
- Specific suggestions:
- Have Hazou talk to Ino and offer condolences. If she's the acting clan head, maintaining good relations with her (read: manipulating her to like us) is crucial, and Hazou will likely be able to accomplish that, since the loss of a father is something he could sympathize with.
- Adoptions: Discuss potential inter-village adoptions. E. g.: Katou would be valuable to us, and Sky may be interested in building secure alliances in the current chaos.
- Get Jiraiya's body in a scroll for indefinite storage. It's likely in Tsunade's hands; if so, possible requirement: getting full information about the Battle of the Gods and convincing her that resurrection is something we could potentially accomplish. (Something something friends need you the most when their brain is decaying.)
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- Location
- Australia
Then we go through with his wishes and deal. We cannot afford his animosity.
May not be any clans. It's probably some garbage written by a civilian who wants to sell newspaper.
- Location
- Actually pretty lost
It'll be owned by someone for political purposes in a ninja village, I just don't think we care who right now - it's not a high priority.
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
I've been flip-flopping about this internally for a while. It's in the plan now but I'm not too solid on it being there.
The main thing I've been trying to avoid with it is 'Hazou expresses there is an issue and jumps right to solutions'. The original phrasing 'If Naruto doesn't have any solutions' or so felt a bit awkward to me and this seemed to be about the same but flowing better.
Would you prefer if it was something like 'after Naruto's had time to digest this, possible solutions:', because I think I can go with that too.
Will definitely make use of your wordcount optimizations, much thanks.
Condolences with Ino is a good idea but I doubt we could do that scene justice alongside the rest of the plan. I can put it in the plan cache if you want?
Inter-village adoptions is an interesting idea. I'm not sure if it's something we should wait for a new Hokage to be elected before trying (lest we risk it being called treason) or if we should do it right away before a new Hokage is elected (lest said Hokage veto it). Anyone else got any thoughts on the matter?
IIRC Jiraiya's in a storage seal right now. I can't remember what they do with them, and I'm not sure we have the clout to change that.
As for delegation... I'll see what I can do.
- Location
- Europa, Jupiter Orbit
Quite the opposite actually. Right now the clan is comprised purely out of a close knit group of former missing nin, most hailing from Mist. We are proposing to adopt Leaf ninja, at least two of which were his class mates and probably his friends.
Which is why I cited political concerns regarding our survival as a possible reason to adopt him and make him clan head despite all the reasons not to. But first we make sure it is absolutely necessary to swear our whole family into fealty to our old Master's godson that we never met.
There's a difference between provoking animosity and simply and straightforwardly pushing to have our concerns heared. I am okay with him disagreeing. I simply want to make sure he actually knows what he is disagreeing to.
Say the dialogue goes like this:
- Hazou asks Naruto about the date of the Uzumaki council vote.
- Naruto replies: "That doesn't matter right now." and changes subject.
@Noumero What did you cut to get the word counts so low?
- Location
- Texas
- Pronouns
- She/Her
@Inferno Vulpix @faflec Can either of y'all provide a reason for adopting people into the clan now as opposed to consulting with Naruto first? I really want to avoid stumbling into an ~incident~ if we can.
- Location
- Europa, Jupiter Orbit
Akane is already a part of our family. Or at least she should have been. She has just as much right to it as Naruto. Since one way or the other he will join a family of strangers, why not present all of us at once instead of weirdly trying to add one later.
That said, no one is speaking of officially doing the adoption paperwork for anyone else before even talking to him I think.
Lastly, we don't know if we can actually already visit Naruto first thing. He may still be too hurt/out of it. Are you proposing we put all political action on hold until he can receive visits, even if it takes a day or more?
I think that we can't currently afford to be quite that radical. Who would we even adopt? Hana? Bad idea. Anyone else would have to go missing nin from their own village first.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
I think having the Ino scene and Chouza scene in the plan irrespective of whether it gets shown on screen or even skipped for the sake of scenecount is a good thing because it's something we can point at and say "we actually did this". It can be offscreened or whatever and we can come back to it later.
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
- Ino: I don't think we need to overspecify: Hazou's autopilot will probably manage fine. We could always make it a 400-words plan, if necessary.
- Inter-village adoptions: characters will have thoughts too, and discussing it is costless. I'd rather the hivemind not argue about it for twenty pages, tentatively decide to bring it up in-character, and then get shot down by Keiko with an ironclad argument for why it's impossible.
- Jiraiya's corpse: I'm pretty sure it's in Tsunade's possession, and she'll do whatever she wants with it.
Nothing. Extraneous words. E. g.:
- Original:
- "We zoned out just now due to Zabuza flashbacks. What was Tsunade saying about Mari and the Hat?"
- "Did you accomplish what you set out to do this afternoon?"
- "Perhaps we could try mitigating his personality so that we can live harmoniously while allowing him to honor Gai's YOUTHFUL personality? Soundproofing, house rules, etc.?"
- Modified:
- "What did Tsunade say about Mari? Zabuza flashbacks distracted us."
- "Did you accomplish your goal?"
- "Perhaps we could mitigate his youthful personality? Soundproofing, house rules, etc.?"
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- Location
- Texas
- Pronouns
- She/Her
There are wide reaching political consequences to us deciding to adopt people into the clan. We cannot just do it without first consulting with the person who will have to deal with the consequences of it. In addition, both plans call for us to make the offer, which will essentially tie Naruto's hands if he were to decide that we shouldn't do it. Akane also isn't as close to us as Noburi or Keiko; not even in the past and certainly not now. Also, yes we should obviously try to avoid making any unforced political actions until we can meet with Naruto. This should be obvious. We shouldn't be making decisions whose consequences Naruto will have to deal with if he takes up the position of clan head.
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
Update with wordcount back under 300 thanks to Noumero's black magic! Also some other tweaks (condolences for Ino and Shikamaru, touching on inter-village adoptions)
I personally don't think it'll be that big a problem for us to mention a likely nonviable solution to Naruto. If nothing else, it signals that our brainstorming covers a lot of angles and we're willing to entertain strange ideas. At best, it turns out to be completely doable and Naruto likes it.
As for the adoptions, I might be able to come up with something along the lines of 'hold off on actually formalizing anything until we speak with Naruto', but the more I think about it the more I feel like we should just have that section be about getting the whole clan on-board before bringing it up to Naruto.
The adoptions and solution where Naruto designates an heir are still in there, @Sampatrick, @Rafin, but again I'm not dead-set on current implementations.
I personally don't think it'll be that big a problem for us to mention a likely nonviable solution to Naruto. If nothing else, it signals that our brainstorming covers a lot of angles and we're willing to entertain strange ideas. At best, it turns out to be completely doable and Naruto likes it.
As for the adoptions, I might be able to come up with something along the lines of 'hold off on actually formalizing anything until we speak with Naruto', but the more I think about it the more I feel like we should just have that section be about getting the whole clan on-board before bringing it up to Naruto.
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Well, I'm not against it? I'm not sure whether much will come of that, though.
Maybe mention Katou by name: he is someone who would be very useful to us, who probably isn't that useful to Sky, and with whom we've already worked together.
[X] Action Plan: Growing Goketsu
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Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Ah, it's not intended to get us useful things (other than characterization for Hazou), or to be a political move at all. It's just -- well, like I said:
I want us to do something for him.
Evenstar
Triple Jump Unlocked
- Location
- Canada
- Pronouns
- She/Her
[X] Action Plan: Our Brother
(294 words)
(294 words)
- We had a Zabuza flashback. What did Tsunade say about giving Mari the Hat?
- Find out the full BotG story.
- Check official Tower reports.
- Reach out to someone who was there, like Chouza.
- Speaking of Chouza...
- Losing teammates so close to him must be really hard.
- Ask if he'd like to build a memorial together.
- Speaking of Chouza...
- Adoption:
- Akane and Tenten are all but shoe-ins. Suggest we send offers ASAP.
- Akane's family:
- All of Uplift available goes.
- You're family already; the offer's always open.
- Tenten:
- Keiko goes alone.
- We trust her judgement, and she knows Tenten best.
- Akane's family:
- Regarding Lee:
- Personality aside, he's very talented, and shouldn't be left alone after Gai's death.
- Perhaps we could try mitigating his personality so that we can live harmoniously while allowing him to honor Gai's YOUTHFUL personality? Soundproofing, house rules, etc.?
- Akane and Tenten are all but shoe-ins. Suggest we send offers ASAP.
- Family matters:
- Mari: How was your day? Did you accomplish what you set out to do this afternoon?
- Kagome:
- Give him Jiraiya's seal notes.
- Is he willing to teach adoptees sealling?
- Noburi:
- You should get the Toad Contract.
- Naruto:
- If he doesn't specify who he'd like to meet, bring Keiko, Noburi and Akane.
- Jiraiya was family to both of us. Be gentle and understanding.
- Introduce ourselves. Offer condolences. Answer reasonable questions.
- Let him read Jiraiya's will.
- Jiraiya's asked us to trust each other absolutely.
- ... but we're strangers.
- Propose an instance of a group spending time together in order to facilitate greater mutual knowledge and familiarity.
- At his earliest convenience. Would now work?
- Misc.:
- Review Jiraiya's notes on his spy network, identifying easily-securable contacts.
- Send Jiraiya's letter to Orochimaru to the Snakes.
- We don't know if Orochimaru really died, but he deserves to have his teammates' last words.
- Have Keiko send a Pangolin to Snake territory with the message.
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Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Again, not sure much will come of that. He is an experienced shinobi with three clans' worth of support networks. We aren't really uniquely positioned to help him.
(Jiraiya, not Jaraiya.)
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Tsunade going to help you be clan head. Lol just kidding as if you ever got to be in charge.
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
Quick check, is anyone majorly opposed to the adoption section only sending an offer to Akane right now, and getting approval from everyone for fast-tracking Tenten if Naruto's okay with it?
Akane is Team Uplift and should've been part of the clan all along tbh, and I'd have serious problems with Naruto if he wanted to veto Akane. Tenten, on the other hand, is only truly connected to the Goketsu through her romance with Keiko. This is a strong connection of course, but not one I'd pick a fight with Naruto over.
Akane is Team Uplift and should've been part of the clan all along tbh, and I'd have serious problems with Naruto if he wanted to veto Akane. Tenten, on the other hand, is only truly connected to the Goketsu through her romance with Keiko. This is a strong connection of course, but not one I'd pick a fight with Naruto over.
- Location
- Yes.
Ended up removing Akane from the group, she's a new addition and Jiraiya may not have told him about her. Less confused Naruto gets the better.
I mean...part of the suggestions I wrote was to run them through with the person we are implicitly accepting as our future clan head. Who has a lot more experience in these matters than us. He shuts us down, that's fine.
Again, smarter than us. Emotionally compromised or no he shouldn't be crazy enough to dismiss this out of hand if it is a serious concern, and if he is that bad he won't be wanting to talk to us for a while.
Yoick. Made it a bit more wordy but it's mostly the same. Thank you.
Almost completely added. Getting Jiraiya's body might be a bit more difficult from Tsunade, not sure how to word or ask it without getting facepunched into a fine mist. Maybe we should just wait until the next plan?