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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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Lailoken said:
I still want to know what happens when Noburi wanders around randomly dosing drunken civilians' beers with jounin levels of chakra.

Have I mentioned that we need to meet Orochimaru pronto?
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The civilians die. Chakra poisoning from overdose of Wakahisa water is a thing that ninja have to worry about, much less civilians.
 
Someone wanted exciting plans? Here we go!

[х] Action Plan: I Defect in Prisoner's Dilemmas
Wordcount: 295.
  • Thoughts:
    • Once all S-rankers leave to fight Akatsuki, villages will be unprecedentedly vulnerable.
    • WW4 is inevitable, however the battle turns out. Would Leaf win it? Or would our losses to Akatsuki prove insurmountable?
    • We already had to reveal Skywalkers. In months, other villages will have countermeasures. But now... nobody can defend against them.
    • You won't even need Leaf's help.
    • It's for the greater good. Once there are no other villages, there could finally be peace.
  • Preparations:
    • Return to Leaf. Let Kagome in on your thoughts (utmost secrecy).
    • Take a few days to acquire the necessary tools (cover: working on a contingency for Akatsuki's victory):
      • Skywalkers: enough for two people to travel across the continent.
      • ~20 PMYFs.
      • ~10 SINs.
      • ~100 kinetic bombs (storage scrolls with large, heavy rocks).
        • Try to get larger-capacity storage seals. (The Nara?)
      • A telescope.
    • Chart an efficient route through major villages (Cloud -> Rock -> Sand -> Mist?).
      • Consider sparing Mist/Sand, and targeting strong minor villages.
        • (Deceit) Discuss with Keiko. Pretext: consequences of the Nagi Island's battle. "How strong are our alliances?", "Could any minors rise in power?".
  • Execution:
    • Take till'n'fills with Kagome as justification for leaving. If necessary, imply it's an excuse for sealmaster business.
    • Once outside the view of Leaf's Skytowers, put on Skywalkers and hit the route (max-speed).
    • Attack algorithm:
      • Approach above clouds. Conduct reconnaissance (telescope).
      • Prioritize districts which seem belonging to powerful clans or the government. Drop 1-2 SINs on them.
      • Bombard the rest with kinetic bombs. Be fast and generous.
      • Don't miss any important compounds/facilities situated outside villages proper.
      • PMYF away (if possible on Skywalkers; test first).
  • Aftermath: Go to the most remote corner of the woods. Lay low for a while.
Don't worry, it's not a real X. Just a joke plan.

Of course, it'll stop being a joke if enough people vote for it. @QTesseract, I think you were in favour? @firestorm440, I think you were excited about WMDing things too. @Radvic, thoughts?
 
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eaglejarl said:
Welcome! Nice to have you. How did you find out about us?


I like this plan and would enjoy writing the outcomes. Note one small technical problem: macerators store 'one object', which is a term that causes you to tear your hair out when experimenting, since it seems to be very fuzzy and not even always consistent. The 'object' must be touching the seal. A pile of grain sitting on the seal will probably count as a single object...unless the pile is too high, in which case it won't. Or if the moon is in the wrong quadrant, or, or, or...

Regardless, a bag or box generally counts as one 'object' so long as it fits the mass and volume restrictions, so you could put the grain in a container...but if you do then you're grinding the container up with the grain.
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Simple solution. Make containers out of very thin, hard bread.

Just bake flour and water into sheets, then make boxes with them.
 
Talking to Hinata isn't really that dangerous and doesn't cause any long-term harm, even if J-man dies. On the other hand if both Jiraiya and Hiashi die (his survival odds are worse than Jiraiya's I imagine) on this mission we both insulted her and her Clan for no gain. I would rather have us keeping friendly relations with Hinata personally, regardless of the rest of her Clan's interests.

Additionally, I don't want to antagonize our main rivals and give them an actual reason for politically hostile actions against us. We likely have the protection of the ISC (The Nara want Keiko and Shikamaru already told the whole world that they are going to marry (and he is pissing himself because of Ami so he is going to follow suit)) and I very much doubt that it's expensive for them to keep us around. We would owe them, but Clan survival is a good trade.

If Tsunade isn't part of the Strike force (and I doubt she is), then we also have her backing, Tsunade might even take over for our own good after all and she does seem to like Mari, Kagome and Noburi.

e: We also have been useful at hunting down information that lead to tracking down Akatsuki and finding at minimum the Nine-tails (in case Naruto is either dead or mentally crippled), even if only Hiashi comes back, he might actually not be a baby eating monster and sees reason in keeping us around. Espacially because we have some connection to Mist and Mist is vulnerable at the moment, so we are still pretty useful that way.

So same Plan from @huhYeahGoodPoint just without the Hyuuga exclusion:

[X] Action Plan: Being (Acting) Clan Head Means Never Stopping To Ask Permission (with Hyuuga)
  • Ask Jiraiya to help us scribe his skywalker seals.
    • Scribe skywalkers until the strike force leaves; give them to Jiraiya then.
    • Offer to keep scribing on the road and send by Pangolin.
  • Mom
    • Find, hug, and thank her.
      • KI advice helped sooner than desired
      • Ask advice, heir-trained to acting head
      • Next while will be tough; we'll keep in touch. It's gonna be OK.
  • Homecoming
    • Socialize with Leaf-nin.
      • Not just clan heirs; escort and watchers too.
    • Request Shikamaru get us mission records and reviews for genin; clanless, preferably
    • Stay wary; use skytowers if time allows for production and setup.
  • Homecoming
    • Hug Mari, greet Kagome, greet anyone else waiting for us.
      • We missed 'em
    • Update them on what happened; ask what happened in the meanwhile.
      • Prepare for likelihood of FUBAR.
        • If under situations cause extreme emotional distress, excise plan components as necessary.
  • Leaf
    • Synch everyone up; modify plan per suggestions
    • Aim: Expand reputation, deal with Merchant Council, cultivate clanless ninja, play politics with clans
    • Delegate:
      • Kagome
        • Please use Calligraphy skills to send fancy invitations, if we need them?
        • Tutor more promising clanless Academy students?
          • Only tutor students you want to tutor, of course
          • Ask Honoka's parents for help
        • Help restock?
      • Keiko
        • Work out clan paperwork, finances?
        • May need merchant "connections" assistance
      • Noburi
        • May need to take point with other clans, will carry full authority
        • May need your mednin abilities as favor; at your say-so.
        • Priority: figure out Merchant Council; who's who, and who we need to please or grease
      • Mari
        • Assist where able
    • Clans
      • Arrange individual meetings with all clan heads
        • If clans are not willing to present clan heads, present Noburi as full diplomat or no deal.
      • Meetings:
        • Bring appropriate gifts.
        • Express desire to work together for mutual benefit.
          • Identify potential areas for cooperation
          • Ask where they would like us to assist them.
        • Maintain calm politeness
        • If previous grievances arise, request forgiveness.
        • Do not commit to binding agreements.
    • Clanless
      • Find clanless ninja with good mission records and reviews.
      • Pay identified clanless ninja personal visits
        • Goketsu has noticed their excellence
      • Ask what we can do for them; we'd like to build an enduring relationship.
        • Offer to arrange better missions or healing/tutoring for relatives
    • Merchants
      • Put in orders with:
        • Clothiers
        • Sandalmakers
        • Papermakers
      • Expand "empire" like earlier Mist efforts
        • Especially sponsor playwrights
    • Restock seals
 
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I just realized about something about Hazo:

> Disinherited due to his mother being disowned by the Kurosawa. Otherwise, would be heir.
> Approached by his aunt to be adopted back into the clan if he would disown his mother. Said no.
> Ends up clan heir anyway.
 
You know, I really really wish we could get someone to teach Kagome the Shadow Clone technique. Maybe Jiraya, if he survives and ever has the time? Some ANBU agent like Cat?

Aodyssey said:
Can the elements that confer invulnerability to Summon Scrolls Seal be isolated? That seems useful
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It's probably dimensional bullshit. Betting you anything that if we research them, they will turn out to technically not exist in this dimension or something.
 
TalonofAnathrax said:
You know, I really really wish we could get someone to teach Kagome the Shadow Clone technique. Maybe Jiraya, if he survives and ever has the time? Some ANBU agent like Cat?


It's probably dimensional bullshit. Betting you anything that if we research them, they will turn out to technically not exist in this dimension or something.
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I'd be surprised if Kagome had the chakra reserves for it tbh. Dude's specced pretty hard into sealing.

[X] Action Plan: Being (Acting) Clan Head Means Never Stopping To Ask Permission (with Hyuuga)
 
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Ok I'm back into this, can I get an indication or mathematical answer as to the skill level ups and/or the amount of XP used since the start of the Chunin exam?

Just so I can figure out how the gang actually grew.
 
Golden Eyed King said:
Ok I'm back into this, can I get an indication or mathematical answer as to the skill level ups and/or the amount of XP used since the start of the Chunin exam?

Just so I can figure out how the gang actually grew.
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My back of the envelope estimates without looking at the character sheets are that we have spent somewhere in the range of 200ish XP since the exams started, and have about 80 left to spend from recent events. All in all, a pretty hefty chunk.
 
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[X] Action Plan: I Defect in Prisoner's Dilemmas
Thanks @Noumero

also I can still approval vote so
[X] Action Plan: Being (Acting) Clan Head Means Never Stopping To Ask Permission
 
ashinator said:
In addition, @faflec is now my favourite person on the thread.
ALL HAIL FAFLEC, KEEPER OF TIDBITS, PURVEYOR OF FTFYs, FOREVER THE GUARDIAN AGAINST SELF-CONTRADICTORS!.
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I, of course, am an entirely fair and benevolent bird who plays no favorites. Nonetheless, I agree that @faflec is awesome and we are ridiculously lucky to have him.

Fresh C said:
Though we should probably keep them away from the games where everybody can cheat.
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So... All of them?



In other news, what is this "yeet the dab" thing? Urban Dictionary tells me that yeet means "to throw" and dab means "to touch your foot to the ground when bicycling, OR, to inhale small amounts of vaporized drug, OR, to perform a specific dance move." I am getting and failing to put the two words together in a coherent way.
 
eaglejarl said:
In other news, what is this "yeet the dab" thing? Urban Dictionary tells me that yeet means "to throw" and dab means "to touch your foot to the ground when bicycling, OR, to inhale small amounts of vaporized drug, OR, to perform a specific dance move." I am getting and failing to put the two words together in a coherent way.
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Careful there eagle, your dadness is showing
 
eaglejarl said:
In other news, what is this "yeet the dab" thing? Urban Dictionary tells me that yeet means "to throw" and dab means "to touch your foot to the ground when bicycling, OR, to inhale small amounts of vaporized drug, OR, to perform a specific dance move." I am getting and failing to put the two words together in a coherent way.
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Its a pile of meme phrases that don't necessarily mean anything when bundled together like that, so the meaning is left as an exercise to the reader. A similar version would be "Action Plan: YOUTHSUIT Pretty Damn ^_^" or something. Its a meme juxtaposition.

(I also didn't have the spoons to come up with something appropriate and/or remotely clever for a name, and so I put down whatever was being shouted through my apartment at the time. Runner ups:

Action Plan: Acquiesce the Acquiescent

Action Plan: Dan Gheesling, Winner of Big Brother Season 10, is an IRL Social Spec
[Decently humorous supercut video of that season that someone was watching in my living room]
Etc.)
 
MMKII said:
I also didn't have the spoons to come up with something appropriate and/or remotely clever for a name
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You should've went meta. Consider such excellent plan names as "An Excellent Plan Name", or "I Have No Spoons And I Must Planmake", or "The Name of This Plan", or "Your Ad Here", or "A String of Letters Representing the Unique Identificator of This List of Instructions", or "Do We Really Need Clever Plan Names? Discuss", or "The Best Plan; All Other Plans are for Losers", or "To Be Quite Honest I'm Running Out of Ideas", or "I Hope You See My Point".
 
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