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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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This was very good. Don't think I didn't notice all those little worldbuilding details snuck in there as well!
 
eaglejarl said:
Hazō frowned in confusion but did as he was told. The guard grabbed Hazō's hand and stabbed him in the thumb with a pin that Hazō had not realized he was holding.

"YOW!" the boy said, shaking his hand out before putting pressure on the injury. "What was that for?!"

The guard shrugged unrepentantly. "Standard procedure, sir. No idea why—probably something like a traitor would react faster because he'd be more nervous. Anyway, you pass.
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Someone really needs to bring that up around Kagome. If he mentions that he's seen us use _____, that'll really get people worried about memory wipes. Or his sanity.
 
eaglejarl said:
There were no significant visible scars or missing limbs, meaning his failure to be promoted was not due to medical incapacitation but, presumably, some catastrophic personal failure—perhaps he lacked the will to train hard enough, or was simply too stupid to be trusted on solo missions.

The word 'skinwaste' flickered through Hazō's mind, but he pushed it away and refused to allow his face to respond to the thought. It was a Mist word and had no place in Leaf.
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Wow, that's new. Hazou's all 'Civilians yay!' but I guess a lot of the mist conditioning re: ninjas is still down there somewhere.

eaglejarl said:
"Sorry sir, it's a one-person job. Can't be wasting multiple ninja on something this trivial, after all."
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Hah, some middle-manager dude decided to optimise the mission assignments, so people can't take boring missions as a social outing thing, and instead stay at home and don't do any missions :p

eaglejarl said:
Hazō frowned in confusion but did as he was told. The guard grabbed Hazō's hand and stabbed him in the thumb with a pin that Hazō had not realized he was holding.

"YOW!" the boy said, shaking his hand out before putting pressure on the injury. "What was that for?!"

The guard shrugged unrepentantly. "Standard procedure, sir. No idea why—probably something like a traitor would react faster because he'd be more nervous. Anyway, you pass. Mind that you don't take too long. Two minutes, you said."
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Does this mean Orochimaru has a disguise jutsu that pops on damage? Geez that'd be imba.
 
eaglejarl said:
"Till'n'fill?"

Hazō frowned. "I don't know that term."

"Till'n'fill is when you go out and help some civilians with infrastructure issues. Usually it's farmers, and it's things like setting some explosive tags to clear out tree stumps, using Earth jutsu to build walls or Fire jutsu to burn off fields, that kind of thing."

The floor tilted under Hazō and the firmament shook above him. This was his own concept of Uplift, already being implemented. How had he not known about this?

"I've never heard of such a thing," he said, almost stumbling over the words. "How...I mean, what...I mean...."

The genin chuckled. "Yeah, weird, huh? I mean, ninja doing farm work? Bizarre. Anyway, it's a new mission category. Lord Hokage directed that everyone should suggest it to any village they pass through. It's catching on; farmers like it and it's easy money. Not a lot of money, but it's light work. Good for people who are convalescing, or for anyone who wants to pick up a little extra pocket change."
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Wow. I am... extremely impressed with Jiraiya right now.
 
eaglejarl said:
"Till'n'fill?"

Hazō frowned. "I don't know that term."

"Till'n'fill is when you go out and help some civilians with infrastructure issues. Usually it's farmers, and it's things like setting some explosive tags to clear out tree stumps, using Earth jutsu to build walls or Fire jutsu to burn off fields, that kind of thing."
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Ah yes, hello Team Anko, I see you there.

eaglejarl said:
The other boy snorted and shook his head, smiling. "See, there's a thing that no one would be saying to me if Mari-sensei hadn't chosen us to be marked for death in the hellswamp."

Keiko's eyebrow arched. "A poetic turn of phrase."

"I'm a poetic kinda guy.
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This is self congratulatory, but in a way I'm okay with. Y'all have earned it, lmao.

Everything that just happened went...smoothly? Guess that means we should buckle up for how rocky actually attempting to fix Mari or meet Jiraiya's standards is going to be.
 
[jk] mention the thumb prick test to Kagome in passing

(yes, I know, no vote.(

)I feel like you've had more dealings with bureaucracy than anyone ever should, @eaglejarl :( This was one of those chapters that struck a chord so resonant, I felt wave upon wave of despondency while reading that section.))
 
Dissonance said:
I feel like you've had more dealings with bureaucracy than anyone ever should, @eaglejarl :( This was one of those chapters that struck a chord so resonant, I felt wave upon wave of despondency while reading that section.))
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One or two, yes. Although, surprisingly, every interaction I've ever had with the DMV, and the one time I needed to talk to the IRS, have been a breeze. Glad you liked(?) it.
 
I think every chapter or so on average theres a mental tally in my head that goes

"Another +1 for Kagome, shit...explosives really do solve everything!"
 
Ooh, nice. I'm happy with all the developments here--Jiraiya inventing till'n'fills, Noburi being chill that he's MfD, and Mari plans coalescing. I also appreciate all the social interactions going pretty smoothly--this definitely feels like an update that subtly shows Hazou being socially adept.

Of course, we've got Velorien writing the Sasuke meeting next update...
 
eaglejarl said:
The genin looked down at the mission book again, his finger sliding slowly down the page, lips moving as he silently counted. Seconds dragged by as the man worked his way through the kanji, until all three Gōketsu were struggling to conceal their impatience.
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That whole scene just reminded me of this:

 
eaglejarl said:
Glad you liked(?) it.
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With the separation of reality and fiction firmly held in place - yes.

I didn't catch a few of the things mentioned and their context within the larger story on my first read; I'm rereading the chapter and catching new things. Each New Thing (тм) sparks a glow akin to that of learning a new concept fully after piecing together seemingly disparate information, albeit on a smaller scale.
 
I'm glad, but not too surprised, that Noburi took the revelation well. I'm also glad, and a little more surprised (but in a good way) that Hazou took what Hana did to Mari well. A little denial, but only at the ambiguity in the initial statement and he accepted it when Keiko made herself more clear.
eaglejarl said:
"Why am I always the last to know everything?" Noburi complained.
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You poor thing.
eaglejarl said:
Hazō set the tray down and then, mindful of Jiraiya's imperfect mood and the ANBU's time limit, straightened to attention.
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Another moment of Hazou being careful socially! Hopefully in time the accumulated 'Hazou did a competent in socials' feelings will outmatch the occasional 'Hazou did a failure in socials' and people at large will start noticing that Hazou's improving.

I'm still pretty scared at the Sasuke situation because we're just jumping into it with no plans or contingencies and there are so many ways that us meeting him could wildly diverge from expectations. It's not even about the ways Hazou might mess things up because he's improving on that, but Sasuke himself is such an unknown and...

Well, nothing to do about it now. Any energy spent fretting about the many ways Sasuke could end up hating us is energy better spent figuring out ways we'd mend bridges if it came to that.

Deathbybunnies said:
Someone really needs to bring that up around Kagome. If he mentions that he's seen us use _____, that'll really get people worried about memory wipes. Or his sanity.
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Would we believe him? Resident conspiracy theorist says that some ridiculously OP S-rank disguise jutsu used to be an Academy technique until it got wiped from existence and everyone's memories, except him for no reason in particular? It could conceivably be seen as 'too absurd to be made up' but unfortunately it's well within standard 'you could make this up if you were paranoid about everyone around you and at least slightly delusional' tolerances.
 
@eaglejarl @Velorien @OliWhail

I have a thought for a way to balance Pangolin Flash without giving excessive numbers of suplemental actions.

It should grant a single supplemental that can only be used defensively off-turn. For instance, it could be used to cast Substitution, but it could also use a seal that's already in your hand. This supplemental can't be used to attack directly; anything that would damage someone (ie a seal) instead gives a tag on an aspect related to that that can be used for defence.
 
Noburi really seems to be developing well, and mostly rid of his self-esteem issues. There's still this undercurrent of unresolved tension whenever he talks about his family, but I'd be more confident in him meeting them now, than I was when we were leaving for the Chuunin Exam.

Inferno Vulpix said:
Another moment of Hazou being careful socially! Hopefully in time the accumulated 'Hazou did a competent in socials' feelings will outmatch the occasional 'Hazou did a failure in socials' and people at large will start noticing that Hazou's improving.
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Honestly, Hazou did really, really well during his lunch with Ino. Telling someone that they should mind their own business in a way that defuses the situation instead of offending them is really difficult, and he pulled it off beautifully. IC, part of the justification for this is Hana's assistance, but it's definitely a huge sign of progress for him.
 
Inferno Vulpix said:
Would we believe him? Resident conspiracy theorist says that some ridiculously OP S-rank disguise jutsu used to be an Academy technique until it got wiped from existence and everyone's memories, except him for no reason in particular? It could conceivably be seen as 'too absurd to be made up' but unfortunately it's well within standard 'you could make this up if you were paranoid about everyone around you and at least slightly delusional' tolerances.
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It would have to be some serious delusion, given that we're going from things he "knows" or "saw" a long time ago, to claiming he's seen us perform said technique.
 
eaglejarl said:
"Till'n'fill?"

Hazō frowned. "I don't know that term."

"Till'n'fill is when you go out and help some civilians with infrastructure issues. Usually it's farmers, and it's things like setting some explosive tags to clear out tree stumps, using Earth jutsu to build walls or Fire jutsu to burn off fields, that kind of thing."

The floor tilted under Hazō and the firmament shook above him. This was his own concept of Uplift, already being implemented. How had he not known about this?

"I've never heard of such a thing," he said, almost stumbling over the words. "How...I mean, what...I mean...."

The genin chuckled. "Yeah, weird, huh? I mean, ninja doing farm work? Bizarre. Anyway, it's a new mission category. Lord Hokage directed that everyone should suggest it to any village they pass through. It's catching on; farmers like it and it's easy money. Not a lot of money, but it's light work. Good for people who are convalescing, or for anyone who wants to pick up a little extra pocket change."
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It's working. The entire join-Leaf plan is starting to work with respect to Uplift. Even this is an accomplishment that will pay dividends down the line. And the best part is that all the other villages will be incentivized to copy it - it makes them money while simultaneously helping their civilian economies, keeping more civilians alive and generating more food and tax revenue. It also gives ninja more exposure to civilians and the problems they live with, which will help with building relations. Even if Hiashi were to get the hat, he'd have no reason whatsoever to remove this new mission category, because even if it doesn't bring in a lot of money it still brings in money. Huzzah!
 
Enjou said:
It's working. The entire join-Leaf plan is starting to work with respect to Uplift. Even this is an accomplishment that will pay dividends down the line. And the best part is that all the other villages will be incentivized to copy it - it makes them money while simultaneously helping their civilian economies, keeping more civilians alive and generating more food and tax revenue. It also gives ninja more exposure to civilians and the problems they live with, which will help with building relations. Even if Hiashi were to get the hat, he'd have no reason whatsoever to remove this new mission category, because even if it doesn't bring in a lot of money it still brings in money. Huzzah!
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And most of all, it means that ninja, both domestic and foreign, will be occupied with tasks that aren't warfare or warfare-simulation exercises.
 
Cariyaga said:
And most of all, it means that ninja, both domestic and foreign, will be occupied with tasks that aren't warfare or warfare-simulation exercises.
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I have to say, it's really fun seeing debates from real-world EA crop up here.
"What's really important is the effect of this intervention on the downtrodden masses!"
"No, what's really important is raising the sanity waterline among the powerful few!"
 
"Don't you think it's a little suspect that our aims involve acquiring resources so we can acquire resources so we can acquire resources... with the aim of eventually doing good things? Like, taking the outside view, how many groups tried to do that and ended up being no better than whoever had those resources before them?"
"Okay sure, it can bottom out in doing some object-level good with what we have now, but if we don't try to recursively grow then we're leaving tons of value on the table."
 
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