Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
What're the odds that "Every battle ready ninja" happened to be everyone who had working knowledge of OP Sharingan bullshit hax?
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard open voting
- Location
- Potato land
Is it just me who feels that this line seems eerily portentous given what we've since learned about Ami?
- Location
- Freiburg
Trying to stuff something that contains chakra into a storage seal will either just not work at all, or fail-Cthulhu.
Things that contain chakra include: infused or active seals, living things, jutsu, Wakahisa chakra water, ...
- Location
- Yes.
But not, interestingly enough, seal blanks, which contain chakra via the chakra ink used to draw the seal.
- Location
- [REDACTED]
Maybe there's some threshold past which failures happen, and chakra ink has such a low chakra content it does not exceed that threshold?
- Location
- UK
Utils. Other people's, mostly.
We don't get to take credit for Deidara attacking Yagura...
That's why he said indirect. No skywalkers, no trap for Yagura set by Leaf, no Yagura being kidnapped. Even if Akatsuki hadn't shown up, Leaf won every battle in that fight except Yagura vs the Third, so it would have ended in all the remaining Leaf ninjas dogpiling Yagura and likely offing or capturing him.
- Location
- Yes.
They didn't think it was a trap. They thought that they got secure information that Naruto was going to be in a relatively isolated location where Mist could ambush him. They had no knowledge of Skywalkers and thus any counter-ambush from their perspective would have been a relatively even fight, which Leaf would not have taken due to the risks.
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I'm not sure how sarcastic you may or may not be being, so I'm just going to leave this Kagome quote here and wander off:
- Location
- UK
But none of this was our intention. You can only take moral ownership of something your decision process had agency over.
Chapter 206: Refusing to Lose
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
"Hazō."
"Shin."
The two boys stood on opposite sides of the corridor, facing each other head-on. Kei was unable to read the subtleties of their body language (she doubted any but a Kurosawa could), but, being boys, she was confident that they were posturing in a fashion that would mortify any adult shinobi. Noburi, off to the side, provided an apposite counter-example, his expression of wry amusement signifying at least an attempt to rise above the situation.
Opposite him, the other Wakahisa looked more curious than anything else, while Anna… Anna was clearly as comfortable in her presence as Kei was in hers. The sooner this confrontation(?) was over, the better.
Kurosawa broke the silence first.
"Congratulations."
"I'm sorry?"
Hazō, whose silver tongue made women facepalm.
"Congratulations," Kurosawa repeated. "What you pulled back there was frankly impressive. I honestly thought you didn't have that kind of brutality in you. I know everyone's saying that you only did it by relying on Nara's brains, the Pangolin Clan's brawn and the Hokage's resources, and that's obviously true, but you and I both know they're missing the point. Even if you've betrayed the clan, you've still got the blood of master diplomats flowing in your veins. Turning other people's power into our own is what we do."
"What do you mean, Nara's brains?" Hazō demanded, focusing on entirely the wrong part of the statement.
Kurosawa rolled his eyes. "The smart people have already figured out that you were just following Nara Shikamaru's plan. It's not like you've tried to hide how closely you've been cooperating. My guess is that you've been taking your cues from him this whole exam, but I won't ask since I know you'd deny it either way.
"Again, this isn't an accusation. You were using him for his specialisation, and he was using you for yours. That's how it has to be if you're going to accomplish any of those crazy goals you were raving about.
"Man," he added, "I'd love to know what it's like to have a Nara and a Mori working together. It might be worth backing your village alliance idea just for that."
"You can believe what you want," Hazō said calmly after a second. "It doesn't change the fact that we won."
"Spectacularly," Kurosawa agreed. "I knew I was right to let you keep your word half."
Hazō's calm disappeared. "So it was you!"
"It didn't expect it work out how I expected, to say the least," Kurosawa mused, ignoring him, "but this way has its advantages. Getting into the tournament is a shot at worldwide glory, but it can also end your career if you embarrass your village badly enough in front of the entire world. Or get mangled by an over-eager opponent. On the other hand, after what you did to the Fifth Event, Command is sure to discount that whole clusterfuck for internal purposes, leaving us with a massive score and a guaranteed risk-free promotion. There are worse things in this world."
Hazō stared at him, understandably uncertain how to respond. "You're welcome… I guess?"
Kurosawa nodded. "Oh, and don't think we've stopped being rivals just because you defeated us in combat."
"We prefer the term 'viciously obliterated'," Noburi said.
Wakahisa snorted.
"That," Kurosawa agreed smoothly. "Only a fool fights the same battle twice. And if we can't win like Byakuren, for now we'll just lose like Kurohige."
With that, he turned to leave.
"Hey, Noburi," Wakahisa said idly, pushing herself off the wall she was leaning against. "You given my invitation any thought?"
"I thought about it," Noburi said with a friendly smile, "but then I realised I had standards."
Wakahisa grinned. "Hey Shin, I know he's a filthy traitor, but can we keep him? Pleeeease? I sense so much untapped potential…"
"No, Kiri. I've seen how you look after your pet koi."
"Hey," Noburi said, "I've got nothing against a smart, talented and attractive girl wanting to tap my 'potential'."
He paused briefly.
"Shame the only one around is my sister."
Wakahisa began to say something, but Kurosawa interrupted her with a groan.
"No, Kiri. Have your verbal slugging matches on your own time." He looked pointedly towards Anna.
"Eh," Wakahisa shrugged. "There's always next time. I'll be expecting you to bring your A-game when you come back for the tournament, Noburi."
"I think my D-game will be enough for you."
Everyone waited for the other shoe to drop.
"Sorry, Kiri," Noburi said. "That'll be a lot funnier once you learn the alphabet."
Fortunately, Kurosawa left, dragging Wakahisa with him, before the situation could deteriorate further.
Anna did not follow.
After a couple of seconds of silence, Noburi took Hazō's shoulder and pulled him away with a great display of tact and subtlety, leaving the two girls alone.
Kei had nothing to say to her former nemesis. What could there be? There was no longer any kind of connection between them. They would not see each other in the tournament. They were—her experience with Ami had made it agonisingly clear—no longer even part of the same clan.
You hurt me first.
It was irrelevant. Trivial. No justification for anything. An incident that transpired between two young girls whom time had surely since transformed beyond recognition. A fragment of her past that Kei could discard without effort, indeed had already discarded.
Anna's mouth opened. For a long moment, no words emerged.
"Keiko," she said finally, hesitantly. "Do you… think we could—"
"No," Kei said abruptly. They could not. It was far, far too late.
She turned to walk away, not wanting to see—not interested in Anna's reaction.
You hurt me first.
Why did it matter? Anna was no one special, merely another friend that Kei's incompetence had cost her. Just as her lack of talent had cost her her parents' love. Just as her gullibility had cost her her home. Just as her disloyalty had cost her Ami. Just as her inability to model others' behaviour had nearly cost her Tenten. It was a trend that had no reason to end, and things once lost could never be regained.
But perhaps they could be replaced. Kei thought of her new friends. Of her new home. Of two people who had offered to be her parents. A second chance for a girl who had so comprehensively failed with her first.
Would she lose this too?
A spark of defiance lit up somewhere inside her. How many more times must she lose? How many more times must she wait passively for her weakness to take away the things she loves? Had she not already fought to keep Mari-sensei, Hazō, Noburi and Kagome in the face of both mortal danger and her own inadequacy? Had she not fought for Tenten?
She spun around to face Anna.
"I have a tournament to train for," she said in a voice that invited no response. "Afterwards… we can talk."
It was not a commitment of any sort. She was not offering to alter the status quo, to attempt empathy with her former bully or to share anything about her own life. She could, if she so chose, attend only long enough to make some brief comment on the weather. Nevertheless, she had taken control.
Likely, nothing would come of this. Miraculous reconciliations of sworn enemies, such as could be found in the poorly-written early novels of certain popular writers, were not known to occur in the wild. Nevertheless, the nature of Kei's relationship with Anna was hers to decide, not for a malevolent fate to arbitrarily determine. And if this much proved to be within her power, then one day, perhaps…
Kei quickly disengaged from the rest of that thought, as if it were a butterfly too fragile to survive careless contact. Instead, she took one final look at Anna, failed abjectly to interpret her expression, and left to find Hazō and Noburi. Anna's behaviour was probably not an act designed to separate those two from the team's voice of common sense, but a barracks full of over a hundred vengeful limping ninja was no place to take that risk.
"Shin."
The two boys stood on opposite sides of the corridor, facing each other head-on. Kei was unable to read the subtleties of their body language (she doubted any but a Kurosawa could), but, being boys, she was confident that they were posturing in a fashion that would mortify any adult shinobi. Noburi, off to the side, provided an apposite counter-example, his expression of wry amusement signifying at least an attempt to rise above the situation.
Opposite him, the other Wakahisa looked more curious than anything else, while Anna… Anna was clearly as comfortable in her presence as Kei was in hers. The sooner this confrontation(?) was over, the better.
Kurosawa broke the silence first.
"Congratulations."
"I'm sorry?"
Hazō, whose silver tongue made women facepalm.
"Congratulations," Kurosawa repeated. "What you pulled back there was frankly impressive. I honestly thought you didn't have that kind of brutality in you. I know everyone's saying that you only did it by relying on Nara's brains, the Pangolin Clan's brawn and the Hokage's resources, and that's obviously true, but you and I both know they're missing the point. Even if you've betrayed the clan, you've still got the blood of master diplomats flowing in your veins. Turning other people's power into our own is what we do."
"What do you mean, Nara's brains?" Hazō demanded, focusing on entirely the wrong part of the statement.
Kurosawa rolled his eyes. "The smart people have already figured out that you were just following Nara Shikamaru's plan. It's not like you've tried to hide how closely you've been cooperating. My guess is that you've been taking your cues from him this whole exam, but I won't ask since I know you'd deny it either way.
"Again, this isn't an accusation. You were using him for his specialisation, and he was using you for yours. That's how it has to be if you're going to accomplish any of those crazy goals you were raving about.
"Man," he added, "I'd love to know what it's like to have a Nara and a Mori working together. It might be worth backing your village alliance idea just for that."
"You can believe what you want," Hazō said calmly after a second. "It doesn't change the fact that we won."
"Spectacularly," Kurosawa agreed. "I knew I was right to let you keep your word half."
Hazō's calm disappeared. "So it was you!"
"It didn't expect it work out how I expected, to say the least," Kurosawa mused, ignoring him, "but this way has its advantages. Getting into the tournament is a shot at worldwide glory, but it can also end your career if you embarrass your village badly enough in front of the entire world. Or get mangled by an over-eager opponent. On the other hand, after what you did to the Fifth Event, Command is sure to discount that whole clusterfuck for internal purposes, leaving us with a massive score and a guaranteed risk-free promotion. There are worse things in this world."
Hazō stared at him, understandably uncertain how to respond. "You're welcome… I guess?"
Kurosawa nodded. "Oh, and don't think we've stopped being rivals just because you defeated us in combat."
"We prefer the term 'viciously obliterated'," Noburi said.
Wakahisa snorted.
"That," Kurosawa agreed smoothly. "Only a fool fights the same battle twice. And if we can't win like Byakuren, for now we'll just lose like Kurohige."
With that, he turned to leave.
"Hey, Noburi," Wakahisa said idly, pushing herself off the wall she was leaning against. "You given my invitation any thought?"
"I thought about it," Noburi said with a friendly smile, "but then I realised I had standards."
Wakahisa grinned. "Hey Shin, I know he's a filthy traitor, but can we keep him? Pleeeease? I sense so much untapped potential…"
"No, Kiri. I've seen how you look after your pet koi."
"Hey," Noburi said, "I've got nothing against a smart, talented and attractive girl wanting to tap my 'potential'."
He paused briefly.
"Shame the only one around is my sister."
Wakahisa began to say something, but Kurosawa interrupted her with a groan.
"No, Kiri. Have your verbal slugging matches on your own time." He looked pointedly towards Anna.
"Eh," Wakahisa shrugged. "There's always next time. I'll be expecting you to bring your A-game when you come back for the tournament, Noburi."
"I think my D-game will be enough for you."
Everyone waited for the other shoe to drop.
"Sorry, Kiri," Noburi said. "That'll be a lot funnier once you learn the alphabet."
Fortunately, Kurosawa left, dragging Wakahisa with him, before the situation could deteriorate further.
Anna did not follow.
After a couple of seconds of silence, Noburi took Hazō's shoulder and pulled him away with a great display of tact and subtlety, leaving the two girls alone.
Kei had nothing to say to her former nemesis. What could there be? There was no longer any kind of connection between them. They would not see each other in the tournament. They were—her experience with Ami had made it agonisingly clear—no longer even part of the same clan.
You hurt me first.
It was irrelevant. Trivial. No justification for anything. An incident that transpired between two young girls whom time had surely since transformed beyond recognition. A fragment of her past that Kei could discard without effort, indeed had already discarded.
Anna's mouth opened. For a long moment, no words emerged.
"Keiko," she said finally, hesitantly. "Do you… think we could—"
"No," Kei said abruptly. They could not. It was far, far too late.
She turned to walk away, not wanting to see—not interested in Anna's reaction.
You hurt me first.
Why did it matter? Anna was no one special, merely another friend that Kei's incompetence had cost her. Just as her lack of talent had cost her her parents' love. Just as her gullibility had cost her her home. Just as her disloyalty had cost her Ami. Just as her inability to model others' behaviour had nearly cost her Tenten. It was a trend that had no reason to end, and things once lost could never be regained.
But perhaps they could be replaced. Kei thought of her new friends. Of her new home. Of two people who had offered to be her parents. A second chance for a girl who had so comprehensively failed with her first.
Would she lose this too?
A spark of defiance lit up somewhere inside her. How many more times must she lose? How many more times must she wait passively for her weakness to take away the things she loves? Had she not already fought to keep Mari-sensei, Hazō, Noburi and Kagome in the face of both mortal danger and her own inadequacy? Had she not fought for Tenten?
She spun around to face Anna.
"I have a tournament to train for," she said in a voice that invited no response. "Afterwards… we can talk."
It was not a commitment of any sort. She was not offering to alter the status quo, to attempt empathy with her former bully or to share anything about her own life. She could, if she so chose, attend only long enough to make some brief comment on the weather. Nevertheless, she had taken control.
Likely, nothing would come of this. Miraculous reconciliations of sworn enemies, such as could be found in the poorly-written early novels of certain popular writers, were not known to occur in the wild. Nevertheless, the nature of Kei's relationship with Anna was hers to decide, not for a malevolent fate to arbitrarily determine. And if this much proved to be within her power, then one day, perhaps…
Kei quickly disengaged from the rest of that thought, as if it were a butterfly too fragile to survive careless contact. Instead, she took one final look at Anna, failed abjectly to interpret her expression, and left to find Hazō and Noburi. Anna's behaviour was probably not an act designed to separate those two from the team's voice of common sense, but a barracks full of over a hundred vengeful limping ninja was no place to take that risk.
-o-
Apologies for the late update. Awards will be bestowed whenever it is that we finally complete this plan.
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Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Perhaps in some sense of "Whose fault was this?" but if you look at the chain of cause and effect there it ultimately begins at Hazou and us.
Lol fuck off, Shin.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
He's just doing a mixture of posturing + rationalizing away the defeat + putting Hazou down.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Everyone from Mist is going to be rationalizing Event 5 away as much as possible because to sincerely admit that we actually ROFLSTOMPED ~50 Chunin candidates would be absolute trash PR for them.
We pwn everyone in the tournament in single combat and it won't matter.
I do not personally care about our own 'legend', but the narrative can be used to frame why Leaf is the strongest in the world.
- Location
- NY
*screams in negaquest*
Oh come on Hazou, you're far from a social butterfly, but you're better than this. I'm putting this conversation down to stress, tiredness, and recent breakup.
Yeah, Hazou's no mastermind. Just ask Shikaku.