On the note of Akane's mostly-missing abdominal cavity, if Nobby is going to work with Kabuto, he can be taught how to take care of Akane and hopefully get her moved to our present house sooner than later. This will allow her to get out of the hospital (we can talk to Kabuto about her personal distaste for hospitals inhibiting her ability to recover), give Kagome an excuse to stay home, give the Leaf an excuse to continue housing us (we're taking care of a Leaf ninja for them, freeing up their own personnel), remove Akane from Kabuto's influence, and at the same time give him the opportunity to indebt us to him socially without having direct authority over our teammate's well-being.

As much as I want Akane out of Kabuto's reach, I vote "HELL NO" to removing Akane from the hospital. She is literally months away from full recovery in one of the very advanced Konoha hospital. We are not taking her away from it so a novice medic-nin can spend a week or two giving her part-time medical treatment. That might actually put her health in serious jeopardy, and there's no chance it would be allowed.
 
As much as I want Akane out of Kabuto's reach, I vote "HELL NO" to removing Akane from the hospital. She is literally months away from full recovery in one of the very advanced Konoha hospital. We are not taking her away from it so a novice medic-nin can spend a week or two giving her part-time medical treatment. That might actually put her health in serious jeopardy, and there's no chance it would be allowed.
The sooner she gets out, the better for her emotional health. I'm not saying "tomorrow", I'm saying "as soon as her health allows."
 
Well, we're gonna be out of Konoha soon. And if we want to get her out of Kabuto's immediate reach, then doing so months later defeats the purpose and puts us into debt for no reason.
A month later should be sufficiently long for her to heal enough to get out of the hospital, and I am not inclined in the slightest to leave her before at least that amount of time has passed.
 
Like, I just want to be clear about what being in Leaf for a month would probably mean. Because we've been here not even two days and things that have happened so far include
  • Kabuto gaining social leverage over two of our genin and outplaying Mari at socials.
  • Kabuto getting preliminary data on the Iron Nerve just by observation.
  • Kabuto putting himself in a position to drive a wedge between Noburi and the rest of the group by exploiting Noburi's low resentment, desire to be a good apprentice, and low deception score
  • Kagome becoming increasingly likely to have a stress-based stroke or heart attack.
  • Relatedly, Kagome getting dangerously close to snapping and trying to kill the heirs to four of Leaf's most powerful clans.
  • ANBU/Hyuuga getting what is probably a mountain of data on the team's weaknesses in terms of dynamics, mental health, personality traits, and psychological stability.
  • Us being forced by the Hokage to admit to being blackmailed and thereby losing face in front of two of the most powerful and dangerous men in the world.
  • Us being forced by the Hokage to give up our apparent global monopoly on aerial construction for nothing in exchange.
That's in two days. I'm not at all sure that we can survive fourteen more of those. :(
 
Like, I just want to be clear about what being in Leaf for a month would probably mean. Because we've been here not even two days and things that have happened so far include
  • Kabuto gaining social leverage over two of our genin and outplaying Mari at socials.
  • Kabuto getting preliminary data on the Iron Nerve just by observation.
  • Kabuto putting himself in a position to drive a wedge between Noburi and the rest of the group by exploiting Noburi's low resentment, desire to be a good apprentice, and low deception score
  • Kagome becoming increasingly likely to have a stress-based stroke or heart attack.
  • Relatedly, Kagome getting dangerously close to snapping and trying to kill the heirs to four of Leaf's most powerful clans.
  • ANBU/Hyuuga getting what is probably a mountain of data on the team's weaknesses in terms of dynamics, mental health, personality traits, and psychological stability.
  • Us being forced by the Hokage to admit to being blackmailed and thereby losing face in front of two of the most powerful and dangerous men in the world.
  • Us being forced by the Hokage to give up our apparent global monopoly on aerial construction for nothing in exchange.
That's in two days. I'm not at all sure that we can survive fourteen more of those. :(
Yeah but I'm stubborn. Plus I've been playing a Naruto fighting game recently so I'm all about that whole "never leave your friends behind" thing right now :p
 
Man, there should be a Marked for Death fighting game.

You win by throwing all the explosives ever and fights last approximately 0.3 seconds on average.
 
Like, I just want to be clear about what being in Leaf for a month would probably mean. Because we've been here not even two days and things that have happened so far include
  • Kabuto gaining social leverage over two of our genin and outplaying Mari at socials.
  • Kabuto getting preliminary data on the Iron Nerve just by observation.
  • Kabuto putting himself in a position to drive a wedge between Noburi and the rest of the group by exploiting Noburi's low resentment, desire to be a good apprentice, and low deception score
  • Kagome becoming increasingly likely to have a stress-based stroke or heart attack.
  • Relatedly, Kagome getting dangerously close to snapping and trying to kill the heirs to four of Leaf's most powerful clans.
  • ANBU/Hyuuga getting what is probably a mountain of data on the team's weaknesses in terms of dynamics, mental health, personality traits, and psychological stability.
  • Us being forced by the Hokage to admit to being blackmailed and thereby losing face in front of two of the most powerful and dangerous men in the world.
  • Us being forced by the Hokage to give up our apparent global monopoly on aerial construction for nothing in exchange.
That's in two days. I'm not at all sure that we can survive fourteen more of those. :(
I mean, we could give up on using our favor for extracting our mom, or getting new jutsu, and be like "can we leave Konoha, but still visit Akane?"
 
I mean, we could give up on using our favor for extracting our mom, or getting new jutsu, and be like "can we leave Konoha, but still visit Akane?"
I wonder if Kagome would be up for that...

E: using his favor, I mean. He probably wouldn't trust any seals Jiraiya would give us anyway, after all, and he doesn't seem interested in learning jutsu, and probably doesn't have family of his own. What else would he ask for?
 
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Pseudo-Omake: bayesclef wins all the internets
Yeah but I'm stubborn. Plus I've been playing a Naruto fighting game recently so I'm all about that whole "never leave your friends behind" thing right now :p

Just to pick one example, in the Sasuke retrieval arc, Naruto "left" Sakura "behind." Can't get paid help Akane if you're dead (or lack sufficient deception to realize her doctor may or may not have her best interests at heart.)

Can't help Akane if you crawl away like a bitty little bug neither. 10% of nothing is—let me do the math here—nothing, and then nothing, carry the nothing...

Personally, I hope that Hazou realizes that Kabuto looks deceiving and levels deception until he's as deceiving as a low-down dirty deceiver. Also stealth, for it is written: "first rule of battle, little one: don't let them know where you are."

(Of course, there are other schools of thought.)



Hazou: The only liquid I see here is the puddle of piss refusing to pay us our wage.

Jiraiya: You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain that I get and beat you with until you realize who's in ruttin' command around here. Now what are you going to do about it?

Hazou: Nothing. I just wanted you to face me just so she could get behind you.

Keiko: *Clocks Jiraiya with a large weapon.* I call it 'Vera'.

Mari: Well, that was interesting.

Keiko: Define "interesting."

Mari: Oh God, oh God, we're all going to die.

Jiraiya: Well, my days of not taking you seriously are coming to a middle. But don't your philosophy have some pretty specific things to say about killing?

Hazou: Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.

Jiraiya: Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!

Noburi: Ha ha ha! Mine is an evil laugh. Now die!

Jiraiya: Grr. Argh.
 
I dunno what edition of DnD you play, but my fights always take goddamn forever because attrition-based HP systems where you hit and dodge just as well an inch from death as you do at the start of the fight are stupid and kludgey and should all be replaced with sensible systems like GURPS, or even Shadowrun.
Shadowrun is pretty much my favorite system. It's simultaneously got really cool flufff to immerse myself in and it's gamey enough to interest that side of me. Plus the system and setting as a whole tacitly encourages you to try to pull of that .3 second finish as often as possible without making it a true necessity is great. Running black ops teams where you spend 90% of the time planning your missions out to the tee and inevitably either blowing up the building or getting the operation off with no one the wiser is oh so much fun to me.
I mean, we could give up on using our favor for extracting our mom, or getting new jutsu, and be like "can we leave Konoha, but still visit Akane?"
I'm not sure Jiraiya would go for that. Essentially that's using a favor to buy trust, which I'm not sure is really going to work out.
 
Omake: Psychotic Mind Transmission
Omake: Psychotic Mind Transmission

Ino could barely contain her excitement at her first chance to really smash an enemy's mind use the Mind Transmission jutsu outside of training. Kurosawa sat in the chair facing hers, to all appearances wanting to get this over with so he could get back to 'connecting with the people of Leaf as an ambassador of the Philosophy of Youth'.

"Kurosawa, I am going to begin now. For your own safety, please do not resist. Psycho Mind Transmission no Jutsu!"

The dive was as exhilarating as always. After a brief rush of perceived motion, she found herself standing in the entrance to a cave, a fairly standard element of a mindscape, especially for someone with an inborn Earth affinity. She began walking in, noticing the small glowing bubbles embedded in the walls that represented Kurosawa's current thoughts. Many of them were literally just pictures of green spandex jumpsuits, but others were radiating fear or worry, and still others were producing sound reassuring her that he was cooperating. Every couple seconds as she got deeper into the cave, a snippet of sound would echo up from below: rushing wind, followed by a feminine shriek and Kurosawa's voice shouting "Akane!". Ino surmised this must be a replay of Ishihara's injury a couple days ago.

Filing that away for her report, Ino continued onward, eventually reaching a doorway of some metallic material engraved with with luminous geometric patterns embedded in the rock of the cave. Ino frowned. Such sharp transitions in a mindscape weren't unheard of, but they were rare, and if she was remembering "Mindscapes 101" correctly they rarely boded well as an indicator of the bearer's mental health. Just outside the door was a large pile of rolled-up papers, with a small scrap on top that read simply "Buy a YOUTHSUIT". Ino picked up another couple and saw that they were covered in frantic scribbles about "Goals" (the first of which were both 'Survive', which she thought was fairly sensible) and "Methods" that described what she recognized as the missing-nin team's recent activities. She dropped them before she could see anything too classified about their last mission, and continued into the doorway cautiously, resolving to check older papers on her way out.

Once through the door she was standing in a hallway of that same material, with branches not just in the walls but through the floor and ceiling - some kind of three-dimensional labyrinth? The geometric patterns covered everything. Unsure of where to go, she focused her thoughts on the idea of green spandex suits and formed a series of hand seals. "Point Mind no Jutsu!"

A small blue arrow appeared over her clasped hands, angled down and to her left. She picked the hallway to her left and started walking, taking note of the larger scenes in the walls that had taken the place of the cave's small orbs.

After some time following her navigational jutsu's directions, she turned a corner and was suddenly confronted by a huge amphitheater-like chamber filled with a scene of unmitigated carnage.

Panels of the wall were cracked and dented. Various parts of the large room were on fire. Ino could see two or three dozen eccentric and otherworldly figures scattered about in various states of distress -- those with hair were tearing at it, those with teeth were gnashing them, those which were merely half-formed shadowy shapes flitted all around frantically. Several beings were simply curled up into small balls on the steps of the amphitheater, rocking back and forth

As she crossed the threshold of the room and tried to process what she was seeing, all the noise stopped. Slowly, simultaneoiusly, every head, face, eye-stalk, or probably-face-equivalent turned to look at her.

Ino felt as flabbergasted as they all looked. These didn't look like mental defense mechanisms -- they looked like internal voices. She'd heard about aberrant personality manifolds in training as more of a curiosity or piece of trivia than as something she was seriously likely to encounter.

As she opened her mouth to address the crowd, a man wearing white face paint and long sleeves tied behind his back stood up and cut her off. "YOSH!" he shouted, scars in his cheeks tearing open to form a much larger mouth than should have been possible. "SUCH A YOUTHFUL SAKURA BLOSSOM HAS ENTERED THE FLAMING TEMPLE OF OUR MIND! WE MUST SHOW HER EVERYTHING SHE DESIRES! FOR YOUTH! PLEASE, PAY NO ATTENTION TO MY LESS YOUTHFUL COMPANIONS, THEY ARE COMPLETELY INSA--"

The man was in turn cut off by a huge hammer dropping from the ceiling above and slamming him down through the floor with a colossal "BAAANNNNNN".

Ino could do nothing but stand there slack-jawed. I guess I found the reason Kurosawa wanted a jumpsuit, she thought to herself as a small orange cat in a tall pointy black hat picked its way up the stairs towards her on its hind legs. At the same time, a pillar of red smoke appeared a couple meters down the row from her. A young man stepped out of it, in a full-body black outfit whose style suggested it was either formal or ceremonial rather than meant for practical use

"I'm terribly sorry about that, Miss Yamanaka," the young man began. "Please pay him no mind."

"Indeed!" the cat added in a surprisingly normal voice. "It's awfully nice of you to come and visit and all, but we are currently experiencing some... technical difficulties. Might I suggest you come back later, when we have stopped trying to make Hazou's life more interesting than it absolutely has to be? Oh, and once you do get back, would you tell your Hokage and Jiraiya that confinement of paranoid missing-nin is a recipe for a disaster? Seriously, what did they expect was going to happen? The team was going to have a great time in Konoha and nobody was going to get brutally murdered? Have they not been listening to our mission reports or what?"

"Aaaaand let's change the subject," the black-clad young man interrupted. "Nobody's dead yet, the situation can still be salvaged. Miss Yamanaka, what could we help you with that would help you get your job done faster? I hope you'll understand my reluctance to have someone violating Hazou's most private spaces any longer than necessary."

"What, you're fine with her snooping around?" the cat demanded.

"If it gets her out of here faster, yes!"

The cat sighed, pulled a lit pipe from behind its back, took a drag, and blew a long dejected stream of smoke before answering. "Phuuuuuuh. Fine. Incidentally, Ino, please don't worry about the calls for mass murder and general genocide you see floating around. Those ideas are there just for fun and we have absolutely no plans to make use of them, especially in Konoha." With that entirely unsuspicious warning, the cat vanished.

Ino turned to the young man and pointed to the spot the cat had been standing. "How did he know my name? Do you all have full access to Kurosawa's experiences?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, that's sort of what we do -- we scream, and we know things. Even we aren't totally clear on the details of how it works, though."

Ino nodded thoughtfully. "Right. Moving on, it sounds like you're willing to be cooperative, which is a healthy choice for yourselves and Kurosawa. If you can help me find the source of his recent behavior, I can verify that he isn't trying to signal a third party, or cause a distraction for his teammates to escape, or create a diplomatic incident, or any of the other things you all might be planning, then I can leave the rest for external investigation. I don't suppose it was that screaming man from a minute ago?"

"Oh, him? Naaah, he was just overreacting," said a large, obviously predatory lizard in a top hat and monocle who had managed to completely sneak up on her.

"AAAAIIIIEEEEE!" Ino shrieked, jumping several meters into the air.

It held up its three-clawed hands placatingly. "Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to startle you, just wanted to make sure you got this before you left--" (here it doffed its hat and, like a courageous magician producing a rabid chakra-rabbit, pulled out a square of paper with a series of images on it, handing it to her with a flourish) "--and to recommend telling Jiraiya he needs to look into better encryption methods. In fact, here, let me give you a quick primer on private keys -- how much math do they teach you in Leaf? Actually, before that, do you know if your farmers rotate their crops? Actually, even before that, what do you know about Dan--"

"Jello, opsec! And try not to get us in trouble with the guys upstairs, okay? Let's get her on her way already!"

This latest interruption -- for which Ino was extremely grateful, having completely lost any grasp on the conversation -- came from a small blue humanoid dog, with a ball-and-chain around its ankle. It turned to face her.

"Hi there!" it said cheerfully.

"Hello," she responded carefully. "I don't suppose you know where I should look for the cause of Kurosawa's apparent departure from sanity?" she asked.

"Huh?" The small dog tilted its head and Ino felt her heart meltimmediately harden against the obvious manipulation. "Oh, yeah, that would be… hmm. Follow me!" The little guy began marching proudly down another corridor, whistling as he went.

"Where are you-- ah. Yeah, he knows who to talk to," the well-dressed young man said. "Do please get your business over with quickly?" he requested, before vanishing in one more puff of red smoke.

Seeing that the amphitheater was now empty, Ino shrugged and followed the sound of the little blue dog's ankle chain.

They passed some truly bizarre spectacles along the way.

A floating ball of inky blackness with catlike eyes and an oversize mouth full of teeth that simply stared at her as she passed a side hallway.

A spiky yellow bird the size of a full-grown man, occasionally discharging raiton jutsu into the floor and walls as it bemoaned Hazou's situation and not knowing what gift to give Mori for her birthday.

A chamber filled with a howling wind that pressed forward images of what Ino was certain were baubles of the alien knowledge that Kurosawa's inner voices had professed to have access to: tantalizing tastes of deeper understanding of human psychology than any Yamanaka in history had possessed, hints at cosmetics nobody in the Elemental Nations had ever dreamed of. She reluctantly pulled herself awayimmediately recognized such a rudimentary attempt to gain access to her own mindscape and dashed away at top speed.

A panel displaying a village afloat among the clouds, along with diagrams and schematics for its different buildings and components, with lists of human and material resources needed to maintain it. She stopped walking, stunned. "What in the world is this??" she asked out loud.

"The Village Hidden in the Heavens," a deep rumbling voice answered. Ino turned rapidly to come face-to-face with an eye the size of her head, embedded in the side of a vast, smooth, blue creature that clearly should not have been able to fit in the hallway. "A Hidden Village that breaks convention by actually being difficult to find, and is impervious to conventional tactics even if located by virtue of being kept perpetually several kilometers in the air using seals."

"Oli! Opsec!" her much smaller blue escort shouted.

"Sorry," the large creature said quietly, chastised. "I'm really proud of it."

"That's not possible," Ino stated flatly.

The beast made a sound she interpreted as a derisive snort. "Jiraiya didn't think so either, until Hazou demonstrated it. Do me a favor and include something in your report about how that arrogant little toad needs to get off my goddamn engineering lawn, won't you?" It started turning away, but then stopped and looked her over once more. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry my friends have caused you distress, little Leafling. I would ask you to remember that as far as any of us know, the team in your care right now is the greatest hope humanity has - be kind to them." With that entirely non-ominous and completely comprehensible statement, the huge blue leviathan beat its tail and swam rapidly down the hallway.

Finally they reached a round chamber with small, circular couches scattered about. A black-and-white faced man with a mane of blue hair and an elaborate white robe was conferring with a multilayered ring of many colors and patterns.

"Hi guys!" the small dog called. "Ino wanted to know what was up with the whole youthsuit thing, so I figured she should probably talk to you."

The man looked from the dog to Ino and rubbed his forehead, sighing. The ring was, Ino had to say, somewhat harder to read.

"I'll. Um. Leave you to it, I guess?" the dog said abashedly, and then scampered off the way they'd come.

"He's kind of right. I was the one who proposed it, you see - as a joke! I didn't really think it would happen!" the ring said defensively.

"Yeah, but then I pushed people to do it, and didn't withdraw my support before it was too late, and we've been over this already and it's not productive to keep going over it," the painted-faced man countered.

"The important thing," the ring continued, reorienting to face Ino "is that it won't happen again. Hazou has been under a lot of stress, as have we, but we've got a handle on it, and this incident has been bad enough that I expect nobody in here is going to mention 'youth' or other joke plans for a good long while."

"Plans? Like the ones lying just inside Kurosawa's conscious mindscape?" Ino asked.

The two glanced at each other (as much as a ring with no eyes or face can glance). The man spoke up. "Maybe. We're not totally sure how our interactions with him work outside of this very limited domain, or how they would manifest in his mindscape. The best explanation I can give you is that, as a group, we're a blessing bestowed upon Hazou by the Four Heavenly Kings -- you might think of them as especially powerful kami, spirits of the whole world instead of particular trees or ponds -- to help inspire him and to let him look at situations in new ways. We have the ability to transmit those thoughts and inspirations, and usually he takes our advice without knowing it. Sometimes he ignores it, which can be… aggravating."

"A blessing from incredibly powerful kami?" Ino asked, raising one perfectly plucked eyebrow. "You seriously expect me to believe that's the explanation for Kurosawa's psyche being shattered into dozens of pieces."

The ring and the man both shrugged -- the ring bending so as to give the temporary appearance of shoulders -- and the ring spoke up again. "How do you propose to explain us, then? How do you think he's done everything that he's done, at his age? I'm sure you've seen some of it by now. Inventing his own seals, motivating a whole party of missing nin to help random civilians, shocking Jiraiya of the Sannin with his brilliance in applying old seals, getting that same group of missing nin dedicated to the cause of fixing the whole broken system you live and breathe -- at some point, you start needing a pretty extraordinary explanation."

Ino pursed her lips, took a deep breath, and forced herself not to begin rubbing her temples. This is so definitely not going into my report.
 
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Omake: Psychotic Mind Transmission

Ino could barely contain her excitement at her first chance to really smash an enemy's mind use the Mind Transmission jutsu outside of training. Kurosawa sat in the chair facing hers, to all appearances wanting to get this over with so he could get back to 'connecting with the people of Leaf as an ambassador of the Philosophy of Youth'.

"Kurosawa, I am going to begin now. For your own safety, please do not resist. Psycho Mind Transmission no Jutsu!"

The dive was as exhilarating as always. After a brief rush of perceived motion, she found herself standing in the entrance to a cave, a fairly standard element of a mindscape, especially for someone with an inborn Earth affinity. She began walking in, noticing the small glowing bubbles embedded in the walls that represented Kurosawa's current thoughts. Many of them were literally just pictures of green spandex jumpsuits, but others were radiating fear or worry, and still others were producing sound reassuring her that he was cooperating. Every couple seconds as she got deeper into the cave, a snippet of sound would echo up from below: rushing wind, followed by a feminine shriek and Kurosawa's voice shouting "Akane!". Ino surmised this must be a replay of Ishihara's injury a couple days ago.

Filing that away for her report, Ino continued onward, eventually reaching a doorway of some metallic material engraved with with luminous geometric patterns embedded in the rock of the cave. Ino frowned. Such sharp transitions in a mindscape weren't unheard of, but they were rare, and if she was remembering "Mindscapes 101" correctly they rarely boded well as an indicator of the bearer's mental health. Just outside the door was a large pile of rolled-up papers, with a small scrap on top that read simply "Buy a YOUTHSUIT". Ino picked up another couple and saw that they were covered in frantic scribbles about "Goals" (the first of which were both 'Survive', which she thought was fairly sensible) and "Methods" that described what she recognized as the missing-nin team's recent activities. She dropped them before she could see anything too classified about their last mission, and continued into the doorway cautiously, resolving to check older papers on her way out.

Once through the door she was standing in a hallway of that same material, with branches not just in the walls but through the floor and ceiling - some kind of three-dimensional labyrinth? The geometric patterns covered everything. Unsure of where to go, she focused her thoughts on the idea of green spandex suits and formed a series of hand seals. "Point Mind no Jutsu!"

A small blue arrow appeared over her clasped hands, angled down and to her left. She picked the hallway to her left and started walking, taking note of the larger scenes in the walls that had taken the place of the cave's small orbs.

After some time following her navigational jutsu's directions, she turned a corner and was suddenly confronted by a huge amphitheater-like chamber filled with a scene of unmitigated carnage.

Panels of the wall were cracked and dented. Various parts of the large room were on fire. Ino could see two or three dozen eccentric and otherworldly figures scattered about in various states of distress -- those with hair were tearing at it, those with teeth were gnashing them, those which were merely half-formed shadowy shapes flitted all around frantically. Several beings were simply curled up into small balls on the steps of the amphitheater, rocking back and forth

As she crossed the threshold of the room and tried to process what she was seeing, all the noise stopped. Slowly, simultaneoiusly, every head, face, eye-stalk, or probably-face-equivalent turned to look at her.

Ino felt as flabbergasted as they all looked. These didn't look like mental defense mechanisms -- they looked like internal voices. She'd heard about aberrant personality manifolds in training as more of a curiosity or piece of trivia than as something she was seriously likely to encounter.

As she opened her mouth to address the crowd, a man wearing white face paint and long sleeves tied behind his back stood up and cut her off. "YOSH!" he shouted, scars in his cheeks tearing open to form a much larger mouth than should have been possible. "SUCH A YOUTHFUL SAKURA BLOSSOM HAS ENTERED THE FLAMING TEMPLE OF OUR MIND! WE MUST SHOW HER EVERYTHING SHE DESIRES! FOR YOUTH! PLEASE, PAY NO ATTENTION TO MY LESS YOUTHFUL COMPANIONS, THEY ARE COMPLETELY INSA--"

The man was in turn cut off by a huge hammer dropping from the ceiling above and slamming him down through the floor with a colossal "BAAANNNNNN".

Ino could do nothing but stand there slack-jawed. I guess I found the reason Kurosawa wanted a jumpsuit, she thought to herself as a small orange cat in a tall pointy black hat picked its way up the stairs towards her on its hind legs. At the same time, a pillar of red smoke appeared a couple meters down the row from her. A young man stepped out of it, in a full-body black outfit whose style suggested it was either formal or ceremonial rather than meant for practical use

"I'm terribly sorry about that, Miss Yamanaka," the young man began. "Please pay him no mind."

"Indeed!" the cat added in a surprisingly normal voice. "It's awfully nice of you to come and visit and all, but we are currently experiencing some... technical difficulties. Might I suggest you come back later, when we have stopped trying to make Hazou's life more interesting than it absolutely has to be? Oh, and once you do get back, would you tell your Hokage and Jiraiya that confinement of paranoid missing-nin is a recipe for a disaster? Seriously, what did they expect was going to happen? The team was going to have a great time in Konoha and nobody was going to get brutally murdered? Have they not been listening to our mission reports or what?"

"Aaaaand let's change the subject," the black-clad young man interrupted. "Nobody's dead yet, the situation can still be salvaged. Miss Yamanaka, what could we help you with that would help you get your job done faster? I hope you'll understand my reluctance to have someone violating Hazou's most private spaces any longer than necessary."

"What, you're fine with her snooping around?" the cat demanded.

"If it gets her out of here faster, yes!"

The cat sighed, pulled a lit pipe from behind its back, took a drag, and blew a long dejected stream of smoke before answering. "Phuuuuuuh. Fine. Incidentally, Ino, please don't worry about the calls for mass murder and general genocide you see floating around. Those ideas are there just for fun and we have absolutely no plans to make use of them, especially in Konoha." With that entirely unsuspicious warning, the cat vanished.

Ino turned to the young man and pointed to the spot the cat had been standing. "How did he know my name? Do you all have full access to Kurosawa's experiences?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, that's sort of what we do -- we scream, and we know things. Even we aren't totally clear on the details of how it works, though."

Ino nodded thoughtfully. "Right. Moving on, it sounds like you're willing to be cooperative, which is a healthy choice for yourselves and Kurosawa. If you can help me find the source of his recent behavior, I can verify that he isn't trying to signal a third party, or cause a distraction for his teammates to escape, or create a diplomatic incident, or any of the other things you all might be planning, then I can leave the rest for external investigation. I don't suppose it was that screaming man from a minute ago?"

"Oh, him? Naaah, he was just overreacting," said a large, obviously predatory lizard in a top hat and monocle who had managed to completely sneak up on her.

"AAAAIIIIEEEEE!" Ino shrieked, jumping several meters into the air.

It held up its three-clawed hands placatingly. "Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to startle you, just wanted to make sure you got this before you left--" (here it doffed its hat and, like a courageous magician producing a rabid chakra-rabbit, pulled out a square of paper with a series of images on it, handing it to her with a flourish) "--and to recommend telling Jiraiya he needs to look into better encryption methods. In fact, here, let me give you a quick primer on private keys -- how much math do they teach you in Leaf? Actually, before that, do you know if your farmers rotate their crops? Actually, even before that, what do you know about Dan--"

"Jello, opsec! And try not to get us in trouble with the guys upstairs, okay? Let's get her on her way already!"

This latest interruption -- for which Ino was extremely grateful, having completely lost any grasp on the conversation -- came from a small blue humanoid dog, with a ball-and-chain around its ankle. It turned to face her.

"Hi there!" it said cheerfully.

"Hello," she responded carefully. "I don't suppose you know where I should look for the cause of Kurosawa's apparent departure from sanity?" she asked.

"Huh?" The small dog tilted its head and Ino felt her heart meltimmediately harden against the obvious manipulation. "Oh, yeah, that would be… hmm. Follow me!" The little guy began marching proudly down another corridor, whistling as he went.

"Where are you-- ah. Yeah, he knows who to talk to," the well-dressed young man said. "Do please get your business over with quickly?" he requested, before vanishing in one more puff of red smoke.

Seeing that the amphitheater was now empty, Ino shrugged and followed the sound of the little blue dog's ankle chain.

They passed some truly bizarre spectacles along the way.

A floating ball of inky blackness with catlike eyes and an oversize mouth full of teeth that simply stared at her as she passed a side hallway.

A spiky yellow bird the size of a full-grown man, occasionally discharging raiton jutsu into the floor and walls as it bemoaned Hazou's situation and not knowing what gift to give Mori for her birthday.

A chamber filled with a howling wind that pressed forward images of what Ino was certain were baubles of the alien knowledge that Kurosawa's inner voices had professed to have access to: tantalizing tastes of deeper understanding of human psychology than any Yamanaka in history had possessed, hints at cosmetics nobody in the Elemental Nations had ever dreamed of. She reluctantly pulled herself awayimmediately recognized such a rudimentary attempt to gain access to her own mindscape and dashed away at top speed.

A panel displaying a village afloat among the clouds, along with diagrams and schematics for its different buildings and components, with lists of human and material resources needed to maintain it. She stopped walking, stunned. "What in the world is this??" she asked out loud.

"The Village Hidden in the Heavens," a deep rumbling voice answered. Ino turned rapidly to come face-to-face with an eye the size of her head, embedded in the side of a vast, smooth, blue creature that clearly should not have been able to fit in the hallway. "A Hidden Village that breaks convention by actually being difficult to find, and is impervious to conventional tactics even if located by virtue of being kept perpetually several kilometers in the air using seals."

"Oli! Opsec!" her much smaller blue escort shouted.

"Sorry," the large creature said quietly, chastised. "I'm really proud of it."

"That's not possible," Ino stated flatly.

The beast made a sound she interpreted as a derisive snort. "Jiraiya didn't think so either, until Hazou demonstrated it. Do me a favor and include something in your report about how that arrogant little toad needs to get off my goddamn engineering lawn, won't you?" It started turning away, but then stopped and looked her over once more. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry my friends have caused you distress, little Leafling. I would ask you to remember that as far as any of us know, the team in your care right now is the greatest hope humanity has - be kind to them." With that entirely non-ominous and completely comprehensible statement, the huge blue leviathan beat its tail and swam rapidly down the hallway.

Finally they reached a round chamber with small, circular couches scattered about. A black-and-white faced man with a mane of blue hair and an elaborate white robe was conferring with a multilayered ring of many colors and patterns.

"Hi guys!" the small dog called. "Ino wanted to know what was up with the whole youthsuit thing, so I figured she should probably talk to you."

The man looked from the dog to Ino and rubbed his forehead, sighing. The ring was, Ino had to say, somewhat harder to read.

"I'll. Um. Leave you to it, I guess?" the dog said abashedly, and then scampered off the way they'd come.

"He's kind of right. I was the one who proposed it, you see - as a joke! I didn't really think it would happen!" the ring said defensively.

"Yeah, but then I pushed people to do it, and didn't withdraw my support before it was too late, and we've been over this already and it's not productive to keep going over it," the painted-faced man countered.

"The important thing," the ring continued, reorienting to face Ino "is that it won't happen again. Hazou has been under a lot of stress, as have we, but we've got a handle on it, and this incident has been bad enough that I expect nobody in here is going to mention 'youth' or other joke plans for a good long while."

"Plans? Like the ones lying just inside Kurosawa's conscious mindscape?" Ino asked.

The two glanced at each other (as much as a ring with no eyes or face can glance). The man spoke up. "Maybe. We're not totally sure how our interactions with him work outside of this very limited domain, or how they would manifest in his mindscape. The best explanation I can give you is that, as a group, we're a blessing bestowed upon Hazou by the Four Heavenly Kings -- you might think of them as especially powerful kami, spirits of the whole world instead of particular trees or ponds -- to help inspire him and to let him look at situations in new ways. We have the ability to transmit those thoughts and inspirations, and usually he takes our advice without knowing it. Sometimes he ignores it, which can be… aggravating."

"A blessing from incredibly powerful kami?" Ino asked, raising one perfectly plucked eyebrow. "You seriously expect me to believe that's the explanation for Kurosawa's psyche being shattered into dozens of pieces."

The ring and the man both shrugged -- the ring bending so as to give the temporary appearance of shoulders -- and the ring spoke up again. "How do you propose to explain us, then? How do you think he's done everything that he's done, at his age? I'm sure you've seen some of it by now. Inventing his own seals, motivating a whole party of missing nin to help random civilians, shocking Jiraiya of the Sannin with his brilliance in applying old seals, getting that same group of missing nin dedicated to the cause of fixing the whole broken system you live and breathe -- at some point, you start needing a pretty extraordinary explanation."

Ino pursed her lips and forced herself not to begin rubbing her temples. This is so definitely not going into my report.

AMAAAAAAAZING.

Goddamn loved my portrayal. I'm the sane one around here.
 
Chapter 88 (Interlude): The Chūnin Exams

Chapter 88 (Interlude): The Chūnin Exams


"Look at me," Nagatsuka-sensei said sharply, taking Maaya's shoulders in both hands and squeezing hard. The girl's eyes were wide, her face pale, and her body tight with nervousness about the upcoming fight; she needed to be settled down.

Maaya tore her eyes away from the ring where, in less than a minute, she was going to face Takao. Takao of the dreamy eyes that she could lose herself in...if he would stop looking away every time she looked at him. (Was it embarrassment or disinterest? Boys were complicated!) Takao of the silky, messy hair that made her fingers itch to comb it straight. Takao of the tiny little smile that was always hovering at the corner of his mouth. The smile that she always found herself wondering if she could capture with a kiss...and, of course, she always dissolved into stammers and blushes when she found herself wondering.

With an effort of will she met Nagatsuka-sensei's eyes.

"Listen to me, girl," Nagatsuka-sensei said quietly, her voice full of steel. "You can do this. It's time to show that little punk what you can do. Don't hold back, take him down with your first strike. Which do you think he'll respect more, a trembling girl who rolls over at the first punch, or a kunoichi full of confidence who challenges him to improve, who forces him to train harder in order to measure up?"

"A kunoichi full of confidence?" Maaya said uncertainly.

"What are you, girl?" Nagatsuka-sensei demanded. It was a mantra between them.

"A rock leopard, sensei," Maaya responded, the words coming out by pure conditioned response that required no conscious thought. "Fast and strong."

"How fast do you strike?"

"Fast as a leopard, sensei."

"How fast do you strike?!"

"Fast as a leopard, sensei!"

"Godsdamnit, girl, how fast do you strike?! "

"FAST AS A LEOPARD, SENSEI!"

"How hard do you hit?!"

"HARD AS A LEOPARD, SENSEI!"

"Damn straight! Get in there and punt that kid into a wall!"

Maaya put one hand on the railing of the contestants' box and vaulted down to the sandy floor of the arena with the easy grace of the leopard Nagatsuka-sensei had trained her to be. She could feel the beast, her personal totem, rearing up around her in her imagination, its strength flowing through her as its thunderous roar rang in her mind's ears. She barely restrained herself from roaring alongside it, but could not prevent her lips from skinning back from bared teeth.

"Kick his ass, Maaya!" Akihiko yelled from the stands. She turned and gave him a braggart's half-bow of acknowledgement.

Takao, never flashy, walked calmly down the stairs. Unlike Maaya, who carried nothing but a double brace of kunai and wore no armor beyond a pair of trauma plates, he had two bandoleers of darts in an X across his chest and chains looped many times around his forearms. Dozens of metal scales studded his uniform, varying in size but each with a seal carefully carved into its surface; the pouches at his belt probably held even more. His hair was carefully pulled back, held out of his eyes behind his forehead protector. Despite that it still managed to resemble a sideways haystack more than a smooth ponytail.

"Congratulations on making it this far," he said, the smile sincere. "That landslide move in the canyon was amazing. Was that your idea?"

The leopard fled in disgust as blood rushed to Maaya's cheeks. "Th-thanks," she said. She cleared her throat, trying to make sure she wouldn't stammer again. "Yeah, that was mine. You were pretty good too. The way you breezed past that seal trap was smart. We had to brute force it."

He shrugged modestly. "We were lucky," he said. "Happened to spot it before we got too close, so we had the chance to tweak the trigger instead of fighting past it."

"Yeah, but you didn't just disable it, you—"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, GIRL?! STOP FLIRTING AND KICK HIS ASS UP INTO HIS NECK!"

A wave of laughter rolled around the bleachers; the sound went through Maaya as a spike of shame that converted straight into firey rage when Takao joined in. It was a nervous, embarrassed laugh, but it was still a laugh and—

"Fight!" the proctor shouted.

The nervousness and shame had fled as the rage burned them away; at the proctor's word Maaya charged forward, the leopard roaring in her soul once again. She raised a kunai, ready to throw if he started a technique or reached for a seal—not to kill or harm, simply to interrupt—but Takao leaped forward, chakra blasting from his feet to send him up and over her head. In mid-flight his hands dipped into his pouches and sent dozens of metal disks scattering in all directions, the bright sun glinting on their seal-encrusted surfaces.

Maaya twisted, pushing chakra from her feet to leap blindly to the left. Some of those seal disks were undoubtedly about to land on or right in front of her and if she stepped near one it was over.

She hit the stone wall of the arena feet-first and ran along its surface, her body parallel to the ground as she cut handseals. "Wind Release: Sirocco!" she shouted. The burning-hot breath of the desert howled up the sandy arena, lifting the sand and scouring it across the disks, destroying their seals—some of them, at least. A line of fire and explosions bloomed in a straight line towards Takao; for a moment Maaya's heart stuttered in her chest as she thought he wouldn't move fast enough, that he would actually be caught in the jutsu. If the Sirocco scoured away the seals he wore on his body, potentially activating them in the process—

Fortunately, she wasn't giving him enough credit; he slapped a hand on his chest, activating one of the seals and producing a five-foot granite boulder that he ducked behind just in time.

The moment the wind passed he was up and away from the boulder, left hand hurling darts even as the right grabbed the largest scale off his chest—the size of a tea saucer, barely fitting between the bandoleers—and aimed it. Maaya knew what was coming; she slapped a hand on the surface of the wall, chakra-adhering it in place and letting her feet go out from under her so that she could reverse direction fast. Her body swung around on the pivot of her arm, the momentum of her run transferred straight into her shoulder in a shriek of pain that she ignored in favor of yanking hard to slingshot herself back the way she'd come.

She was just barely in time. The Water Cannon seal was nothing fancy—just a large storage seal set to eject its contents at high speed. Fill it with water and you had a zero-chakra equivalent of Mist's famous Water Bullet. Worse, Takao had apparently gotten one of the really big seals from somewhere (stupid clan kids and their jounin parents!), because there was enough water that it came out in a two-second geyser that he swept back towards her. She put on a burst of speed, staying just barely ahead of the blast until it ran out of water. It was so close on her heels that she could feel the splash soaking her calves.

Takao hurled the expended seal disk aside and started throwing darts from his bandoleers with both hands. The seals on each dart were too small to make out, but Maaya had no doubt they were there.

The best answer to darts would be a Reflecting Barrier, but Takao was too fast and too close. "Wind Release: Adamantine Air!" Maaya thrust her hands forward, index fingers extended like spears. It wasn't the best counter, but it was the fastest and that was what mattered. Five meters in front of her pointing fingers, two disks of air froze in place, presenting a nearly invulnerable barrier to the oncoming storm of metal.

The emphasis was on the "nearly".

Two meters after leaving Takao's hands the explosive seals on the back of the first flight of darts detonated, accelerating the weapons forward at insane speeds. The first three slammed into the air barrier and were stopped, but the razor-sharp steel point of the fourth punched through; the impact made the soft iron shaft of the dart crumble into a messy ball that blasted the hole wider, shattering the barrier completely and opening the way for the flock of darts that followed.

Fortunately, the barriers had bought Maaya just enough time to finish the handseals of her next jutsu. "Wind Release: Air Push!" She slashed her palms from right to left in a double-strike move that would have made the village tai chi master nod in iron-faced approval.

Air Push was one of the simplest jutsu there was, just a short-ranged blast of air that wasn't really focused enough to cause harm. What it was absolutely wonderful at, however, was sending a massive group of incoming darts scattering in all directions, many of them back towards their owner. The proximity-sensor seals couldn't tell the difference between one human-sized moving object and another; as they came in range of Takao they started detonating.

She watched Takao's ice-blue eyes go wide as the wave of destruction swept over him. Her heart was in her throat as she charged forward, praying that Nagatsuka-sensei had been right and that Takao would be loading half-powered low-lethality tags. If he hadn't....

He had. Instead of blowing him to shreds the explosions only tossed him across the arena like a slap from a god. He slammed into the wall hard, all the breath going out of him, and collapsed to hands and knees. His forehead protector had come loose and the silky haystack was tumbling around his face as he tried to shake off the impact. She drove harder, chakra surging through her muscles as she closed the distance. Takao's chains were good in close, but she was better. If she closed the range, this fight was over.

BOOM!

She had been so focused on her target that she hadn't paid attention to her surroundings. One of the mines that Takao had dispensed at the start of the fight had been partially buried in sand raised by her Sirocoo and she'd missed it. It sensed her passage and detonated, hurling her into the air and spinning her like a rag doll. The blast was soft, again not intended to kill, but more than enough to interrupt her movement and throw her where, unfortunately, another group of mines waited.

She was still two feet above the ground when the next patch of mines sensed her and detonated, blowing her back into the air like balls in a juggler's hands. The trauma plate on her back soaked most of the damage, but it still felt like she'd taken a hard punch from a pissed-off Nagatsuka-sensei.

Oh gods, Nagatsuka-sensei. Her teacher was going to kill her if she lost this fight.

As she reached the top of her arc she managed to control her tumble until her feet were under her. "Wind Release: Adamantine Air!" she cried, pointing down to freeze the air directly under her feet. The protective disks were slick as glass and immune to chakra adhesion—they were, after all, just air—but she managed to push off in generally the right direction. Her feet went out from under her as she did; she landed clumsily, her ankle shrieking in protest as she sprawled out hard.

Takao was back on his feet, weaving like a drunkard but focused enough to cut handseals and flick his hands to the sides. "Masamune Clan Technique: Forty Chains of Death!" The chains around his forearms leaped outwards, curling like metallic snakes and then lunging forward at Maaya.

"Yeep!" Maaya hurled herself straight up like a scalded cat, pushing every scrap of chakra she could into the leap so as to get clear of the spiralling thicket of chains below her. "Wind Release: Adamantine Air!"

The twin disks of frozen air formed below her, trapping the links of the chain in place. Takao yanked hard, once, in a futile effort to free his weapons before sensibly dropping the chains and diving aside as Maaya landed right where he'd been standing. The leopard roared in her soul as she went at him with full-force kicks and punches that he wasn't strong or fast enough to completely block.

What looked like a too-weak block was nothing of the sort; at some point he'd palmed a seal and now managed to slap it onto her arm. Her sleeve went rigid, trapping her arm in a stiffly extended position that left her wide open on that side.

Had he trained under Nagatsuka-sensei, he could have ended it right there. One carefully-placed punch would have put her down and out and given him the match. Unfortunately, he wasn't trained by Nagatsuka-sensei. Akagi-sensei put very little emphasis on taijutsu, reasoning (sensibly) that a boy with Takao's delicate frame and small chakra reserves was never going to make a good in-close fighter. Instead of winning the fight immediately, Takao reached for another seal.

Maaya scraped her coils almost empty and sent the chakra through her arm in a punch that tore its way out of the frozen sleeve and surged forward on the tide of her totem's roar. The punch clipped Takao on the jaw, spinning his head around and knocking him to the ground. She pounced, taking side control with his right arm trapped by her legs, his left trapped in the grip of her right hand, his body pinned under her torso and her left free to punch him repeatedly in the head.

In the head. Or, rather, in the face. That delicate, almost pretty face that even now was smiling up at her with ice-blue eyes blinking as they came back into focus.

"You hit really hard, you know that?" he asked, laughter bubbling below the words.

She refused to allow herself to be distracted. "Surrender," she growled, arm cocked menacingly in the air as she forced herself not to think about how nice the heat from his wrist felt between her calves, how firm the muscles were in the forearm trapped between her clenched fingers.

"Huh. You're really pretty," he said, surprised.

One part of her brain sent the words "Stop being ridiculous and surrender!" to her mouth. Another part simultaneously sent "Pretty?" A third sent "NOW you notice?! I've been right here for seven years, you idiot!" A fourth sent "Why do you sound so surprised, huh?!" The various messages all piled up, none of them managing to make it out from behind her teeth.

He seized the moment of her distraction to lean up and kiss her, gently but firmly. Fifteen years old and she'd never kissed a boy; every scrap of her attention was suddenly focused on the sensation of his lips on hers.

Lips are soft, yet strong, one part of her brain noticed.

Tastes great, too! another said. Minty and smokey, yes please.

Less yakking, I'm trying to enjoy this, said a third.

First, Maaya firmly told all of her inner voices to shut up. Second, she headbutted him hard in the nose, wincing slightly at the sound of cartilage crunching under the impact of her forehead protector. She refused to hesitate before punching him in the jaw with a carefully-place left cross that left him out cold on the sand. Even then she was careful, waiting several seconds before releasing him.

She couldn't quite resist pressing one more kiss to his lips before sitting up. One kiss, right on the corner of his mouth where, even in unconsciousness, that tiny little smile hid.

"Maa-ya! Maa-ya! Maa-ya!" her friends were chanting. "Woo-hoo!"

She pushed herself to her feet and waved to the cheering crowd before turning for the stairs, the proctor's completely unnecessary announcement of her victory barely noticed behind her. Years of Nagatsuke-sensei's training forced her to keep moving smoothly even as the adrenaline wore off and her body suddenly realized just how battered it was and how utterly empty her chakra coils were. Never show weakness, girl, the iron voice of her teacher growled in her memories. Rock leopards don't stumble and whine.

She kept a smile on her face, kept nodding to the crowd in grateful acknowledgement as an excuse for making her egress slow and regal. It was the only way to hide the fact that she could barely lift her feet.

Wakako and Umeko were waiting at the top of the steps to unceremoniously sweep her up onto their shoulders.

"Kunoichi rule, boys drool!" Umeko shouted, stabilizing Maaya with her left hand and shaking her right fist mockingly at a clump of their classmates. The boys in question—Umeko's boyfriend among them—laughed and shouted back their own taunts until the girls bustled Maaya through the door at the back of the contestants' box that led into the exam building and the waiting sickbay.

Maaya kept the smile on her face until she was out of sight, then let herself be poured onto one of the sickbay tables to be checked over by a professionally-grumpy medic-nin. Her body was complaining louder and louder as the bruises blossomed. Those mines had really done a number on her, and—

"Acceptable," begrudged Nagatsuka-sensei, appearing from seemingly nowhere in that disconcerting way she had. "Still, that clinch at the end was awful. Your right arm wasn't straight enough; if he had any sort of decent grappling training he could have broken the pin and then where would you have been, hm? And running over that mine—what were you thinking? We're going to have to work on your situational awareness, girl. Pathetic. And of course there was—"

Maaya let the words sweep over her and basked in the effusive praise hidden in that grunted 'acceptable'.

"Nagatsuka-sensei, be fair!" Umeko said chidingly. "She was amazing! Did you see that bit where she ran on air? That was incredible!"

"Yeah!" Wakako said. "Why don't you ever—"

"Do you lot mind?!" the medic growled. "I'm trying to work here. She'll be fine with a little rest. Now, everyone who isn't bleeding, get out!"

Umeko and Wakako turned and headed for the door immediately. Nagatsuka-sensei had to sniff dismissively and pause just long enough to show that she was going because she wanted to, not because she'd been told to. Still, she went.

The medic shifted Maaya's forehead protector aside so that he could rest a warm hand on her forehead. Immediately the battered girl found herself borne into the warm arms of sleep on a surge of warm and comfortable medical chakra.

o-o-o-o​

From the doorway of the sickbay, Nagatsuka Rika watched the medic pull a blanket over Maaya and bustle off to the next patient, who happened to be the unconscious and bloody-nosed Takao. There were too many people around to let herself be seen smiling, but it took a lot of effort to stay stone-faced as she basked in the furnace heat of pride for her student. The girl really was amazing—everything a teacher could ask for. Rika's only regret was that the insular decisions of the stay-at-home village elders meant that Maaya's victory hadn't happened in front of the massive audiences that must have been gathered in...where were the International Chuunin Exams this year? Over in Konoha, weren't they? Well, wherever.

She waited by the door, watching as the doctor set Takao's nose and cleaned off the blood. Maaya's punch had been perfect; enough to put him out, not enough to cause permanent damage. That pretty face wouldn't be too badly messed up and, unless she missed her guess, the first thing he would do when he woke up was seek out the girl who'd decked him. Rika couldn't quite manage to hold back a tiny snort of amusement. It was every sensei's privilege to terrify the new suitor, so she'd have to start working on her 'break my student's heart and I will...' speech. Let's see, what would be appropriately gruesome yet believable?



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What looked like a too-weak block was nothing of the sort; at some point he'd palmed a seal and now managed to slap it onto her arm. Her sleeve went rigid, trapping her arm in a stiffly extended position that left her wide open on that side.
Yoooouuuuu sonofabitch, that's OURS! :mad:

Did you see that bit where she ran on air? That was incredible!"
Don't you dare, I swear to Jashin, DON'T YOU DARE

the insular decisions of the stay-at-home village elders
So, if this is Uzu, it looks like they have ways of getting Intel from the outside world. It may be some other random insular village though.
 
Just to pick one example, in the Sasuke retrieval arc, Naruto "left" Sakura "behind." Can't get paid help Akane if you're dead (or lack sufficient deception to realize her doctor may or may not have her best interests at heart.)

Can't help Akane if you crawl away like a bitty little bug neither. 10% of nothing is—let me do the math here—nothing, and then nothing, carry the nothing...

Personally, I hope that Hazou realizes that Kabuto looks deceiving and levels deception until he's as deceiving as a low-down dirty deceiver. Also stealth, for it is written: "first rule of battle, little one: don't let them know where you are."

(Of course, there are other schools of thought.)



Hazou: The only liquid I see here is the puddle of piss refusing to pay us our wage.

Jiraiya: You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain that I get and beat you with until you realize who's in ruttin' command around here. Now what are you going to do about it?

Hazou: Nothing. I just wanted you to face me just so she could get behind you.

Keiko: *Clocks Jiraiya with a large weapon.* I call it 'Vera'.

Mari: Well, that was interesting.

Keiko: Define "interesting."

Mari: Oh God, oh God, we're all going to die.

Jiraiya: Well, my days of not taking you seriously are coming to a middle. But don't your philosophy have some pretty specific things to say about killing?

Hazou: Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.

Jiraiya: Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!

Noburi: Ha ha ha! Mine is an evil laugh. Now die!

Jiraiya: Grr. Argh.
You win all the internets, good musical-notation-of-indeterminate-gender-identity.

Oh lordy lord, do you mind if I sig "Somewhat fuzzy on the concept of kneecaps"? :lol
Not only can you sig it, you can hear it in the original!

Yoooouuuuu sonofabitch, that's OURS! :mad:
Nope. None of that was yours. The seal on her arm wasn't a 5SB -- it just made the cloth rigid, not invulnerable, and it didn't fix it in place. She didn't actually run on air, she just created two small platforms that she could jump off of.
 
Nope. None of that was yours. The seal on her arm wasn't a 5SB -- it just made the cloth rigid, not invulnerable, and it didn't fix it in place. She didn't actually run on air, she just created two small platforms that she could jump off of.
"Why no your honor, my fast food chain MaykDaynalds is totally not infringing on anyone's copyright" :p
 
So, how do we define "contiguous material" with respect to sealing? ...or is that even something we need concern ourselves with so much as Hazou does?
 
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