Yes, and agree that this would make a good next research project.

I am vehemently against this. We've got much lower hanging fruit that we should go for first.
  1. More Macerator Payloads/Improvements
    • It builds on top of the already existing macerator seal to get us flashbangs, shrapnel grenades, smoke bombs, and anti-inuzaka/aburame weapons (scented-oil/insecticide bombs).
    • Seriously though, most of the work is just making sure we put different things in a seal we've already designed.
    • Lots of tactical capabilities we don't have right now for minimal work.
  2. Sensory Bandolier
    • Very minor change on top of the casino seals. Which gives us a huge head start in research.
    • Seriously, this is literally just a set of casino sound alarm seals that is tweaked to have a really bassy alarm. (i.e. vibrate)
    • Gives us sorely needed awareness boosts, and an entirely new sensory modality.
  3. Airwalking Seals
    • Built on top of a minor modification to one of Kagome's seals (5SB -> 1SB), a modification he's already said is entirely plausible.
    • I dislike most of the plans for this so far, just due to their specifics. I think we should also have chakra sensing seals as a requirement. (So our shoes can respond to the same chakra pulses we use for waterwalking and treewalking.)
    • Also must have a mechanical component if we want to actually run in them. Having to have one foot immobile at a time is a pain. We need to put axles in the teeth of geta and put the 1SB on those axles so that we can have a vaguely normal gait.
All of these are much easier than printer/copier seals because we're building on top of stuff we already know and have access to.

I think the printer/copier seals are an incredibly important thing we should do. Since they're an obvious step on the path to printing either seal blanks or printing fully functional seals automatically. (Something we'll need if we're ever going to build large scale projects with minimal ninja help) But it's not something we should do immediately when there's such amazing low hanging fruit for the picking.
 
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I feel like by not covering every possible contingency that we can we'll end up in situations like those I mentioned more often.
I should have been clearer that I wasn't objecting to covering every contingency, but was instead simply pointing to it as a reason we have really long plans. Like @Anqied said, the idea is that with fewer things to focus on and (hopefully) more people to focus on them, we will actually be more likely to catch key issues ahead of time.

The only obvious downside I can see is that updates will cover less time, so it will take longer for time to pass in-story.
I agree that this would be a downside on average, but if we decide to go with shorter plans on average there's nothing stopping us from spending longer amounts of time in individual timeskip-like updates once we feel like we have sufficient information.

(e.g. "Once we have set up a secure base and sent Mari and Keiko to infiltrate the yakuza using the winning Infiltration Plan, spend two weeks in the area doing seal research so they can complete their mission, cutting the update off if they are forced to abort or if anyone besides them appears at the base.")

E: Spelling
 
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I should have been clearer that I wasn't objecting to covering every contingency, but was instead simply pointing to it as a reason we have really long plans. Like @Anqied said, the idea is that with fewer things to focus on and (hopefully) more people to focus on them, we will actually be more likely to catch key issues ahead of time.


I agree that this would be a downside on average, but if we decide to go with shorter plans on average there's nothing stopping us from spending longer amounts of time in individual timeskip-like updates once we feel like we have sufficient information.

(e.g. "Once we have set up a secure base and sent Mari and Keiko to infiltrate the yakuza using the winning Infiltration Plan, spend two weeks in the area doing seal research so they can complete their mission, cutting the update off if they are forced to abort or if anyone besides them appears at the base.")

E: Spelling

There was once some talk about making standard operation procedures for our characters to use in between chapters to expand upon such practices like having Keiko always critique our plans.

It would be simple things like "always chakra boost if Keiko calculates our tac move alone will not let us escape our pursuers" or "Hazou discretely checks his surroundings and opponents with his Deception/Awareness skills to see anything hidden".

The downside of course would be updating and keeping track of all of these passive plans and how they could affect the main plan. One solution would be to codify everything we want to be done in the background in a general sense. For example, whenever we need to discuss something serious with our team, enact sub-plans Whisper and CCnJ (both recalled from previous plans).
 
Also I vote TH is a long term goal. We've got sealing as a research sink, and numerous other places to spend our xp.
 
Oh, something I thought of just before I passed out: We should make a minor sealing project to learn to write misterators in a new hand since we lost one of our old ones up by where Zabuza is. He'll know of what the Iron Nerve allows and will be able to put it together if he sees exact copies of that seal elsewhere.
 
@Twofold I'm not particularly willing to try to talk Kei into diplomacy full time, or Nobby out of it -- we were given leeway because Akane was injured this time and because of his panic attack (...) the previous night, but they will not be nearly so understanding in the future; we'll just have to get Nobby additional training techniques similar to Akane's, and maybe talk the QMs into allowing him to spend time training Diplomacy for bonus XP toward that, or a bonus toward chakra control for working at Konoha general, etc. -- I realize this will mean he's going to be REALLY stretching to get everything he needs, but needs must.

I'm not giving up on the Diplomancer Keiko angle.

It's pretty clear that Hazou's pitch wasn't good enough to make Noburi or Keiko to even consider the option seriously, mostly because there was no plan behind it. If we make (and vote in) an actual plan how to deal with that discussion and give it some time without getting ahead of ourselves, I'm very confident we can sway them to our way of thinking.

There's a risk of backlash, as with any social thing, so we are better off not pushing for it while in Leaf. But once we get out it will be very high on my "shit that needs doing" -list.
 
Once we're all out of Konoha, we can start recruiting. This a wonderful idea. Definitely something we should do. I propose that we aim for two teams of three recruits. That would double our manpower while minimising the risk of any one team trying to take over.

We will need Team Uplift to go on missions, still. Hazou can't just spend all his time doing research. Otherwise our well of XP runs dry. But once we have minions (!) we can be more selective of what missions we go on ourselves. And, we can potentially do more research between missions, safe in the knowledge that if something important comes up during research we can send Minion Team B to investigate.

What are we recruiting ninjas for? What is our goal and how do we accomplish it?
 
What are we recruiting ninjas for? What is our goal and how do we accomplish it?

Everything's easier when you have minions. What, you don't want minions?

Edit: or to clarify, "having minions" is what I would term a "general instrumental goal". Which is to say that it's such a useful instrumental goal for so many terminal goals that it almost qualifies as a terminal goal in its own right.
 
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Oh, something I thought of just before I passed out: We should make a minor sealing project to learn to write misterators in a new hand since we lost one of our old ones up by where Zabuza is. He'll know of what the Iron Nerve allows and will be able to put it together if he sees exact copies of that seal elsewhere.
I don't think this will actually be a problem. First, Zabuza may or may not know how IN interacts with sealing, since the clan tries to keep it a secret. But even if he does, the benefit of IN is that you automatically get identical seals, whereas other people need to work really hard at it. But the seals need to be pretty close to identical just to not have any mistakes in them, so I don't know that he would be immediately suspicious if multiple seals looked exactly alike.
 
I'm not giving up on the Diplomancer Keiko angle.

It's pretty clear that Hazou's pitch wasn't good enough to make Noburi or Keiko to even consider the option seriously, mostly because there was no plan behind it. If we make (and vote in) an actual plan how to deal with that discussion and give it some time without getting ahead of ourselves, I'm very confident we can sway them to our way of thinking.

There's a risk of backlash, as with any social thing, so we are better off not pushing for it while in Leaf. But once we get out it will be very high on my "shit that needs doing" -list.
Diplomancer Akane would be my preferred solution.
 
What are we recruiting ninjas for? What is our goal and how do we accomplish it?

(The intention here is a fun way of presenting the pro-minion argument)

What have the minions ever done for us?

Manpower buff.

WHAT?

Well, if we have more people, we can do more stuff. We currently have a six-ninja team; add two to that, and we can have two four-ninja teams, which means we run twice as many missions.

This would have lead to more getting done while Keiko was acquiring the summoning contract.

Also—and I'll have to be advised whether this is actually a good idea—this would allow us to put Keiko and Mari on different teams, the idea being that giving them some separation would be good for Keiko.

All right, I'll grant you that minions would give us more manpower. But apart from that, what would minions do for us?

Specialization

What's so good about specialization?

1. Micro-specialization

Currently, our team tries is a team-of-all-trades. We've killed chakra monsters, bodyguarded, infiltrated the Liberator's camp, acquired a summoning contract, defeated a jonin, and captured a sealmistress. These take different skills. Because our skills exhibit increasing marginal cost, this implies a balanced character.

Put another way, we'll get roflstomped by a maxminner like Lee, who has enough people around him that he can afford to be deficient in most areas. Quoth Preston McAfee:

Smith goes on to say that skilled individuals could produce at most twenty pins per day acting alone, but that with specialization, ten people can produce 48,000 pins per day, 240 times as many pins.

2. Macro-specialization

Coming off of micro-specialization, macro-specialization means that we can pick a team that's well-suited to whatever task we get up to. This will be made more powerful when we develop seals-for-communication (which isn't currently the most valuable project we've thought of, but upon having a larger team, will be.) So, say we're on a mission to get information. We optimize our team for that task. Unexpectedly, it turns out the information is a living child and being guarded by a jonin! We use our communication seals to get in enough firepower (which we have courtesy of more people, some of whom have specialized in fighting stuff) to be able to take him on without any losses before making a move.

Also, if we're constantly switching up teams, it will hopefully become harder for Mist to track us down.

Apart from the increased manpower and specialization, what have the minions ever done for us?

Brought peace

Oh, peace. Shut up!



Constraints
  • We anticipate few to no missing-nin to be sufficiently aligned with our values to add to the party.
  • We need Jiraiya on board. Otherwise, he sees us ramping up power to do something not in Konoha's interest and we get dead.
  • While Mari can check loyalty with genjutsu, we want as few people to realize we're recruiting as possible—the best way to keep a secret is to conceal the fact there is a secret. Hopefully Mari has or can have e.g. a genjutsu that makes failed recruitment pitches seem like a dream or not make it to long-term memory (as opposed to removing from long-term memory).


ETA


Right, I should probably address that.

So, we have a set of things we can do. What we would ultimately like to do is make our universe fair and all glad and wise. Right now, that action is not in the set of things we can do. Thus, we would like to increase the set of things we can do.

The idea is, from every current set of things we can do, choose the action that will (a) keep us alive and (b) increase the set of things we can do the most. Rinse, repeat, until Plan Uplift is in the set of things we can do.

We can illustrate this in two-dimensions. Pictures taken from Introduction to Economic Analysis by Preston McAfee.





The contention is that, of the actions available to us that won't get us dead, minions will increase the set of things we can do, for reasons outlined above.



Question: what's the best way of putting images sitting on my hard drive into a post?
 
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So, I've been thinking about seal-duplicating, and we need to be careful about how developed this technology is when it makes it out into the world. Our duplicating machine idea, in particular, increases the productivity of someone with low sealing skill cranking out seals mechanically, which increases the incentives to kidnap people into a sealing bunker and chain them to a desk to crank out seals. Given that Hazou already gets most of the benefit it could provide from Iron Nerve, I'm not sure it's worth developing just for Kagome.
 
So, I've been thinking about seal-duplicating, and we need to be careful about how developed this technology is when it makes it out into the world. Our duplicating machine idea, in particular, increases the productivity of someone with low sealing skill cranking out seals mechanically, which increases the incentives to kidnap people into a sealing bunker and chain them to a desk to crank out seals. Given that Hazou already gets most of the benefit it could provide from Iron Nerve, I'm not sure it's worth developing just for Kagome.
That's fixable. We just need to add a seal that records a series of brush strokes on activation, then repeats them indefinitely.
 
That's fixable. We just need to add a seal that records a series of brush strokes on activation, then repeats them indefinitely.
Yeah, once we can make it so that cranking out seal copies is something that can be done (reasonably safely) without levels in sealing (and potentially without chakra if our civilian activatable seal technology is doing well enough), I think the sealing student abduction problem goes away. But note that there's almost no resource cost to generating seals at that point, which is going to be its own kind of destabilizing. So we'll want to have gotten people to the point where going to war is not their first reaction to scary change before we release that into the wild.

In theory, we'll start with mass producing seals ourselves, and mostly seals that don't have direct military applications, then release the technology to make those seals once we've already ramped up the general number of seals out there to try to make things less abrupt. But it's still going to be a touchy transition. And very much not one we want to lose control of due to bad operational security.
 
Chapter 87: Making Friends/Losing Friends
It was almost time for lunch, and Teams Sarutobi and Inoue were taking their time on a slow walk to a ramen place where Akimichi apparently got hefty discounts as a frequent customer. Inoue-sensei and Sarutobi were hanging back and having their own conversation while the genin had theirs, and Kagome-sensei was silently staying near the fringes of the group and looking like he was ready to bolt at the tiniest provocation (Hazō was doing his best to stay close to him just in case, and he thought Inoue-sensei was too).​
"So," Hazō asked casually, "what do very important visiting dignitaries like ourselves go to see in Leaf? Are there any culturally important sites? What is Leaf's war memorial like?"

"Honestly, it's a bit gloomy for my taste," Akimichi replied, pulling out some dried apple to chew on. "Just rows of memorials, like a graveyard. I wouldn't go there unless I had to."

"I like the statue," Nara said meditatively. "It's abstract but still meaningful."

"Oh, the statue?" Akimichi livened up. "Good idea. It's a great representation of the Will of Fire. Really puts the whole thing in a different context."

"What's the Will of Fire?" Hazō asked. "Akane kept talking about it, but she never really explained what it meant."

"What's the Will of Fire, huh?" Sarutobi took a drag of his cigarette, then let the smoke billow upward. "That's a big question. There's a whole philosophy wrapped up in those three little words.

"The First Hokage, the creator of the shinobi world as you know it, was the one who came up with it, and he summed it up like this:

"The meaning of life is love. Love is the will to protect. The will to protect is the Will of Fire, which warms your comrades and illuminates your path even as it burns your enemies."

"Actually," Nara said in a flat pedantic voice, "it originated with Murakumo no Hisashi, an early Fire Country daimyō. The Senju looted his writings during the sacking of Hakujō in the Warring Clans period."

"You mean a civilian came up with the Will of Fire?" Yamanaka demanded. "No way."

Nara shrugged. "If it makes you feel better, Murakumo didn't manage to accomplish anything with it. He ruled for less than a decade before he died of daimyō natural causes."

"What do you mean?" Noburi asked.

Inoue-sensei was the one to answer. "I know this one. Was he assassinated by a ninja?"

Nara nodded. "He is only remembered today because the Senju came across his work when they destroyed his castle."

"So gotta ask," Noburi said, "how do you live in the Land of Trees and More Trees, and decide that fire is your go-to symbol for protection?"

Yamanaka snorted. "I ask myself the same thing every day. Or I would if I cared, which is close enough."

Everyone looked at Nara.

He gave a put-upon sigh. "How troublesome. Well, Murakumo lived in a time of war, and he wanted to tell people that their protective impulses were right and proper in and of themselves, but that taking them too far led to everybody getting hurt, and risked destroying everything in the end, like a wildfire annihilating a forest."

Unseen behind the minders, Keiko's eyebrow twitched.

"Of course," Nara went on, "he was just some minor philosopher without any real influence, so when he died his writings were lost for centuries. Then when the First Hokage was founding Leaf, he decided to make the Will of Fire its foundation. He thought that uniting the Fire Country clans into one village would allow them to protect what was important instead of constantly fighting with each other."

"Good job, Shikamaru," Sarutobi said. "Didn't expect a history lesson out of you."

Nara scowled.

Sarutobi looked back to Hazō. "Anyway, there you have it. The Will of Fire is at the heart of everything we do here in Leaf, and it's why we've always been the world's strongest village."

How strange. Mist didn't have anything like that. The original Mist ninja had been the strongest because they were able to tame the sea, the ultimate hostile environment. But they lacked unity, which was why the First Mizukage had been able to defeat them in detail, bringing them under his dominance one by one and binding them together with his incredible will. This new coexistence made them realise the value of peace, and over time they became willing tools of a greater power, which made them so efficient and coordinated that no external force could threaten them. There had been no verbalised philosophy behind any of that, just pragmatism and historic inevitability.

"Sorry for the trouble, Nara," Hazō said. "I'm grateful for the explanation."

Nara grunted.

"Actually, I've been meaning to ask you," Hazō went on, "you seem like someone who does a lot of planning, and from what I've been told about the Ino-Shika-Chō, it's usually the Shika part that's the brains of the team..."

Sarutobi, Akimichi and Yamanaka turned to look at him all at once.

"Uh," Hazō froze.

"What Hazō's trying to say in his usual inept way," Noburi cut in, "is that you're just like us—you've got one person specialising in analytical work, one person who does the heavy lifting, and one ninjutsu specialist, plus the leader. Well, we picked up a couple more along the way, but you get the idea."

"Nice save, Wakahisa," Yamanaka laughed. "So did you have a point to make, Mr Clever Analyst?"

"Actually, he's the dumb muscle," Noburi stage-whispered to her. "You want the quiet girl over there."

"Shut up, Noburi," Hazō finally said. "As I was saying, Nara, do you happen to have any favourite organisational tools? I prefer lists myself, though there's a lot of varieties I haven't even begun to explore."

Nara seemed to liven up a little. "Three-dimensional diagrams. Each piece of paper represents a layer of a cube, so as long as you use proper notation, you can draw different types of relationships between different forms of content without compromising clarity." He paused. "But then nobody else can read them so the information ends up as a pie chart anyway."

"That sounds… fascinating," Hazō said. "If you have some free time later tonight, could you show me?"

"Yes," Keiko spoke up for the first time. "I believe I would also find it very educational."

"Nerds," Yamanaka muttered. She, Noburi and Akimichi exchanged commiserating looks.
-o-
"Psychotherapy?" Yamanaka amazingly managed to pronounce it through a mouthful of ramen. (It wasn't clear to anyone whether Jiraiya was in fact supposed to pay for lunch, but they decided to put it on his tab just in case, and leave the rest to bureaucracy.)

"That's right," Hazō said. "We heard there was such a thing when we were in Tea, and then there was that mention of mental health help earlier… so how does it work, exactly, if you don't mind me asking? Or is it a Yamanaka clan secret?"

"Yes and no," Yamanaka said. "We use Yamanaka techniques as part of it, but a lot of it is just talking about what we find. But since you have to work one-on-one with a Yamanaka over a long period of time, you have to be pretty rich to afford it, or get the Hokage's Office to subsidise you. Plus, some people are weird about having their minds read. Why, you starting to feel crazy?"

"Uh," Hazō said. He couldn't exactly deny it, but how did you say yes to a question like that? He decided to settle on a half-truth. "Actually, I was worried about our other teammate. She's been severely injured, and it could be putting a lot of mental strain on her." No direct lies; Inoue-sensei would be proud.

Yamanaka nodded sympathetically. "Have you been to see her yet? You should bring her flowers. Every girl likes flowers."

"She's got a point," Noburi said. "You're way past that stage in your relationship, Hazō, so you really need to start catching up with the gifts."

"Oh," Yamanaka said delightedly. "Is that how it is? The forbidden love of a Leaf genin and a missing-nin… Can a maiden's pure Will of Fire melt the cold heart of a brutal killer? Or will a cruel fate force them apart just as it forced them together?"

"It's not like that at all," Hazō glared. "I'm just her master."

This made Yamanaka's eyes shine even brighter.

"Oh, it's that kind of relationship? Wow did I underestimate you, Kurosawa. You're hardcore."

Hazō wordlessly looked to Inoue-sensei for help, realising a second too late what a bad idea that was.

"Hazō!" she gasped in mock surprise. "You and Akane? It wasn't that long ago that you were trying to get Keiko to let you tie her up!"

The cigarette dropped out of Sarutobi's mouth at roughly the same instant as Keiko facepalmed.

"Kurosawa," Akimichi said seriously, "It may not be my place to say this, but you shouldn't two-time girls. You're only going to end up hurting their feelings."

"He never said he was two-timing them!" Yamanaka said. "Seeing as how they're all still teammates, and they know about each other and they aren't fighting or anything… we could be seeing a three-way relationship in the flesh!"

By this point Sarutobi's eyes were the size of dinner plates, Inoue-sensei and Noburi were laughing uncontrollably, and Kagome-sensei was staring at them all in utter bewilderment.

In the background, Nara slowly raised his hand. "Check, please!"
-o-
"Seriously, though," Yamanaka said one merciful explanation later, as the group headed to a shoe shop, "she's in hospital. Get her flowers. It's like the most basic team care. Let's swing by the Yamanaka Flower Shop on the way out and I'll get you a discount."

"Wait," Hazō said, setting aside the fact that he knew about the relevance of flowers, and was already going to get Akane some, and would have said as much if Noburi hadn't suddenly opened his big mouth, "you're telling me the Yamanaka Clan, one of the most powerful clans in the world, with the unique and incredible power to read minds, runs a flower shop?"

Yamanaka grinned. "Thanks for the compliments, Kurosawa, but I'm not joining your harem just yet."

"Actually," Keiko saved the conversation from another descent into inaneness, "it is not unknown for major clans to own small businesses like this. They are typically used as fronts for espionage and—"

"So now our shopping's done," Inoue-sensei said, "how about we drop by the hospital and see if Akane's allowed visitors yet? What was her doctor's name again? Yakushi something?"

"A hospital?" Kagome-sensei demanded. "Are you crazy? You want us to go to where Leaf is running its experiments, and just hand ourselves over for raw materials so they can put tentacles in our ears and turn us into chakra zombies and who knows what else?"

"You make a point," Inoue-sensei said before any of the minders could respond. "Why don't we go buy everyone some chocolate for now, and talk about this again later?"

"That's right," Hazō chipped in. "Weren't you working on a watertight protocol for buying food safely?"

"No such thing as a watertight protocol," Kagome-sensei said. "You start thinking your precautions are foolproof, and bam! All the plants are spontaneously combusting and you can smell the colour pink. Still, it's a good protocol, and... chocolate…"
-o-
Dr Yakushi's office was surprisingly tidy by comparison with the Hokage's, with the desk occupied only by a single spread-out scroll. The man poring over it was much younger than the middle-aged scholar Hazō had been expecting—maybe even younger than Inoue-sensei—but he did at least have the requisite grey hair and round glasses (which served as yet another reminder of Leaf's wealth).

"Ah, you must be Miss Ishihara's team," Dr Yakushi smiled. "My name is Yakushi Kabuto. Feel free to take down your disguises—we're all friends here, and besides, I am a member of the Arikada interrogation team."

Hazō gave him a questioning look.

"The names you gave for your appointment didn't include anyone by the name of 'Hazō'," Dr Yakushi explained, "and I feel certain that one of you must be 'Hazō-sensei', since Miss Ishihara repeated that name many times during her semi-conscious period. And since you are collectively responsible for saving a Leaf ninja, I really would like to meet you face to face, so to speak."

He even spoke how Hazō thought a doctor should speak, measured and slightly detached, but at the same time warm and reassuring.

Inoue-sensei: Deception said:
Yakushi Kabuto: Deception said:

"I don't think so," Inoue-sensei said. "No offense to you, doctor, but we'd like to preserve our privacy as much as possible while we're here in Leaf."

Hazō: Deception said:

"Inoue-sensei!" Hazō snapped. "This man saved Akane's life."

He dispelled his disguise. "I'm Kurosawa Hazō. Thank you again for what you've done, Dr Yakushi."

Dr Yakushi walked out from behind the desk and extended his hand for a handshake. Hazō took it with Kurosawa Handshake no. 3, "I am a dignified person showing you great respect".

Dr Yakushi looked down. "Is that… a preset handshake? How fascinating. Then you are one of the Mist Kurosawa?"

Hazō blinked. "Yes, but how did you…?"

"Ah, well," Dr Yakushi's gaze slid briefly across one of the bookshelves, "I happen to have something of an interest in Bloodline Limits. They include some of the most powerful bioweapons and bioweapon counters both, you see. But to meet a Kurosawa in the flesh! I don't suppose you'd be interested in coming by to help me with some tests during your stay? Nothing invasive, just a few measurements to see how quickly you learn different movements, things like that."

"No!" Kagome-sensei barked. "You're not cutting up Hazō for your sick experiments, you stinking leech!"

Hazō could see Inoue-sensei open her mouth to interrupt the imminent tirade with a "Kagome!", then close it again as she realised she couldn't use his name in front of the doctor. Fortunately, the chocolate must have worked, because Kagome-sensei left it at that.

Dr Yakushi held up his hands placatingly. "I wouldn't dream of it, sir. The kind of human experimentation you're thinking of is forbidden in Leaf, even on criminals and civilians, believe it or not. Medical research in Leaf is constrained by stringent ethics.

"Now, Mr Kurosawa, would you grant me my humble request?"

Hazō considered. Dr Yakushi had saved Akane from certain death, and that put Hazō forever in his debt. But at the same time it felt like a bad idea to commit to something he didn't entirely understand without at least checking with Inoue-sensei first.

"If I have time," he finally gave a safe answer. "I do owe you a great deal for saving my apprentice, Dr Yakushi, but we have various authorities we have to answer to while we're here, so my time isn't really my own."

"Please don't worry about it," Dr Yakushi looked down in apparent embarrassment. "It was my duty as a medical professional, and besides, I was able to gather a great deal of valuable data while working on her body, and that was a horribly inappropriate comment and I do apologise."

There was an awkward silence.

Out of the corner of his eye, Hazō saw Noburi nod slightly to himself.

"Don't worry about it, doc," Noburi said as he released his disguise. "I'm Wakahisa Noburi and I don't see anything wrong with you trying to expand your scientific knowledge while you work. I mean, isn't that how you got the skills you needed to save Akane in the first place?" He offered his hand.

Dr Yakushi shook it. "It's very kind of you to say so, though I fear you overestimate my skills a great deal. The fact that people call me a leading expert in the field only reflects the lack of other specialists."

He looked from Noburi to Keiko.

"The demands of social courtesy should not outweigh basic information security," she muttered, not meeting his gaze, and ignoring his outstretched hand.

Dr Yakushi kept his hand out with an open, friendly expression. Keiko lasted for an extremely long time, but finally caved in before he did.

"Mori Keiko," she said quietly, turning off the Transformation Technique, but she never looked him in the eye or shook his hand.

"Hm. Mori," Dr Yakushi said to himself. "Mori, Mori, Mori, Mori… ah, Mori."

He smiled and moved on to Kagome-sensei, who glowered at him.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing," Kagome-sensei growled. "Everyone else might fall for your filthy tricks, but I can see right through you. You so much as touch one hair on their heads, and boom!" He flicked his palms open suddenly in Dr Yakushi's face.

Dr Yakushi leapt back with flawless ninja reflexes, coming down in a crouched defensive stance behind his desk. Hazō and the other genin stared.

"Yes?" Dr Yakushi looked at them in puzzlement. "Despite appearances, I am a shinobi. I daresay I would have trouble using medical ninjutsu otherwise.

"But hospitals are places of peace and recuperation. Do please avoid violence here."

"I apologise for my teammate's behaviour," Inoue-sensei said. "I'm sure you can't blame us all for being a little on edge, circumstances being what they are."

She gave the three genin another glance, with a shadow of resignation.

"Inoue Mari."

The two locked eyes as they shook hands, and the handshake lasted a little bit longer than was natural.

"A pleasure to meet you, Miss Inoue," Dr Yakushi finally said. "I'm glad to see that Miss Ishihara will be in safe hands when I am finally ready to release her from my care."

"That's the reason we came here!" Hazō said, glad to finally get to the important part. "Well, that and to thank you. How soon will Akane recover?"

"Hm," Dr Yakushi said, taking off his glasses and wiping them with a cloth before giving him an answer. "I do not give fine estimates as a matter of principle. Human bodies are very individual things, and giving an inaccurate prediction carries all manner of dangers. Suffice to say that we are speaking in terms of months rather than weeks."

"Can we visit her?"

"Ideally she should have peace and quiet, but looking at it another way… I will say five minutes. Ten at most. Only one person, and you must not disturb her in any way. Light conversation only. Fashion. Celebrities. The weather. Whatever it is teenage girls concern themselves with in their spare time. Nothing that may stress her. Am I understood?"

Dr Yakushi's glasses glinted with a hint of menace.

"Y-Yes, sir!" Hazō said.

"How about gifts?" Noburi asked.

"No foodstuffs for the time being. She will be on a strict hospital diet. That may be a source of stress in and of itself, I'll grant you, but it will accelerate her recovery. Light reading material, perhaps. Laypeople underestimate, I believe, how little stamina a person in intensive care possesses, and how quickly it is drained even by the least mental effort. Flowers, though you must check for allergies first. Trigger an allergic reaction in my hospital, and you will be banned until further notice."

"One more thing before we go," Noburi said. "I'm actually training to be a medic-nin myself, and I was wondering… would you do me a huge favour and let me shadow you for a little while? I bet watching a master like you work would make my own skills skyrocket, and I'm happy to do all the dirty work as your assistant."

"Hm." Dr Yakushi looked at Noburi appraisingly. "Much of my work is classified, and I am going to be very busy working on the Arikada case. It would be difficult to find any activities in which the presence of an assistant could be both acceptable and useful."

But the tone of his voice suggested that he was still thinking about it.

The silence stretched on for a bit. Noburi's expression gradually became more and more disappointed.

"But I suppose there is one way."

"What's that?" Noburi asked instantly.

"As I mentioned, I have a strong interest in Bloodline Limits. In fact, I've written a monograph on purposefully altered chakra systems, though that was more related to the chakra channels in the brain and eyes. An opportunity for detailed observation of the Wakahisa Bloodline Limit in action, as you use medical ninjutsu and study new techniques of my own choosing, may justify the drastic disruption to my schedule that would be involved. And of course I would have some questions for you, which seems only fair since I'm certain you will have many for me."

Noburi looked hesitant at this.

"No clan secrets, of course," Dr Yakushi said quickly. "I assure you, I have every respect for the principle of classified information. But matters you might consider trivial, ones which might even be taken for granted in your home village, could be a great contribution to my research at no cost to you.

"Hm," Dr Yakushi said, "I find myself beginning to warm to the idea. My position prevents me from taking on apprentices in the usual way, and yet there is so much that I could potentially share. All my experience, so much little-known lore, even the values that have made me the doctor I am today. And of course, the opportunity is as unique for you, since other doctors would not be cleared to know your identity, and would hardly trust non-Leaf strangers like yourselves even if they did. As it is, I foresee hours of filling in forms and arguing with the Hokage's Office before I can make your desire come true… but I trust that you will make it worth my time and effort.

"So yes, Wakahisa Noburi, I agree to your request. I shall clear the matter with the Hokage's Office, and you should clear it with your minders, and expect to hear from me tomorrow with details of our schedule.

"I look forward to working with you."

"Thank you, Yakushi-sensei," Noburi said emphatically. "I promise you won't regret this!"
-o-
Ishihara Akane, the world's best apprentice, was alive. Alive and awake, and a lot paler than usual, but she was able to sit up in bed when she saw him (with a wince), and that was more than enough for Hazō.

"Hazō-sensei!" she said quietly. "You came!"

"Akane!" Hazō almost rushed over, but forced himself to obey Dr Yakushi's admonition and walk slowly and calmly to her side. "How are you feeling?"

"I've mostly been asleep," Akane confessed. "Everything hurts, but I am alive. I didn't think I was going to make it." Then, even more quietly, she added, "I'm sorry I failed everyone, Hazō-sensei."

"What?" Hazō stopped. She'd done what? To whom? When?

"You didn't fail anyone, Akane. I'm the one who should be apologising for failing to protect you!"

Hazō silently cursed. This was the exact kind of high-stress conversation Dr Yakushi had told him to avoid.

"No, please don't blame yourself," she said. "I wasn't youthful enough. If I had been, I would have spent more time training so something like this wouldn't happen. You weren't too slow to dodge Arikada's attack. He wouldn't have been too slow. I just… I hate hospitals."

Hazō was caught off-guard by the non-sequitur.

"I lost a big chunk of my life to this hospital," Akane said. "Even after I was allowed to stay at home, it never let go of me. Bi-weekly check-ups, instructions to my parents… I should be grateful to it, to everyone who put so much effort into helping me get better. But now I'm back here, and I hate it. I'm back to the person I was before, weak and helpless and letting everyone down. Only this time I've already had my second chance."

"Akane, that's just not true," Hazō said fiercely. "You got hurt on a mission, the way everybody does sooner or later. Remember when the mountain ninja hurt Inoue-sensei? She needed bed rest too, but it didn't make her any less of a person."

Akane shook her head, then blinked a couple of times to clear it from what must have been a burst of dizziness. "Thank you trying to make me feel better. You've always been the more youthful one out of the two of us. But I messed up and I could have got everyone killed. And when I look back, it's been like this all along.

"I got tricked by Mizuki-sensei because I was too gullible. I fell for the Liberator's brainwashing because I was too naive, and you had to save me. I nearly got us all killed by Kōta because I was too trusting, and you had to save me. I collapsed from chakra drain because I was too stubborn, and you had to save me. I nearly got killed by Arikada because I was too incompetent, and you had to save me. I've enjoyed travelling with you so much, but I think maybe you would be better off without me.

"When I'm better, I think I should take Jiraiya-sensei's offer and come back to Leaf, where I'm not going to hurt the people I love. Or maybe I should quit being a ninja altogether if they'll let me. I could convince them I'm unfit for duty."

Hazō had never seen this side of Akane. It was like talking to a completely different person. Even Keiko didn't talk like this (most of the time). Had the trauma really hit Akane that hard? Or were there things she'd been bottling up all along, behind that unswervingly cheerful exterior? Why had he never thought about that before?

Well, if ever there was a time to tap into his supposed powers of Youth and deliver an inspirational speech, this was it. Hazō opened his mouth and prepared to try to surrender to the weird stream of consciousness that kept coming up with things Akane somehow found meaningful.

But before he could, Akane slumped back in her bed. "Thank you for coming to visit, Hazō-sensei. But I think I need to sleep now."

She hesitated. "Would you… come see me again? Just until I feel better?"

"Every day," Hazō promised. "I'll help you feel youthful again if it's the last thing I do."
-o-
You have received 10 XP.

-o-
What do you do?

Voting closes at 9 am Pacific Standard Time, Saturday 3rd of December.
 
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GAAAAH THAT TITLE! YOU STINKER!!!

Unseen behind the minders, Keiko's eyebrow twitched.
Anyone want to clue me on on what this was for..?

(It wasn't clear to anyone whether Jiraiya was in fact supposed to pay for lunch, but they decided to put it on his tab just in case, and leave the rest to bureaucracy.)
Petty revenge is the best revenge.

This made Yamanaka's eyes shine even brighter.
Ooookaayy, apparently we know Ino's fetish..? :eek:
 
Okay...

Processing that.

We have "months rather than weeks" to convince Akane that all her bad life experiences weren't her fault. Which is something.

And Noburi's getting an apprenticeship under the guy who invented regeneration and fused a ton of bloodlines into himself and researched necromancy. That's a wonderful outcome, although we should prepare for the possibility that he'll find out about mist-draining in the process.

We should try to figure out Shikamaru's 3D notation. Sounds useful, though might not be applicable to forum posts.
 
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We really need to address that whole "foot in mouth" thing. Maybe we should try creating tulpas of our teammates. ...Wait, if we were successful would the QMs create accounts for them?

Okay...

Processing that.

We have "months rather than weeks" to convince Akane that all her bad life experiences weren't her fault. Which is something.

And Noburi's getting an apprenticeship
under the guy who invented regeneration and fused a ton of bloodlines into himself and researched necromancy. That's a wonderful outcome, although we should prepare for the possibility that he'll find out about mist-draining in the process.

We should try to figure out Shikamaru's 3D notation. Sounds useful, though might not be applicable to forum posts.
Agreed on all counts. Given the whole "months rather than weeks" thing, we'll need to find some way for Kagome to feel safe doing research. He WILL explode if we keep him around people for that long without some form of stress relief.
 
Things that happened offscreen without mention:
  1. (O) Dispel (no effect)
    1. (O) If the rest of Team Uplift is open to it (definitely some point after we've gotten Kagome his chocolate), see if Team Asuma would be open to a game night (Strategic Domination? Shogi? Go? Hallways and Humans, if Pandaa is allowed to show up and isn't too big an infosec risk?) (tentative agreement; no Pandā)
    1. Do they have any idea how long we are expected to be in Leaf? Even "we'll get back to you later but at least a week" is better than what we know right now. (Team Sarutobi's mission lasts for another week; they don't know if it'll be renewed at the end)
    2. Do we need to have any paperwork or identification on us? (no, but you also aren't expected to be anywhere on your own, so it's not an issue)
    3. Is Keiko clear to interact with summons and/or go to the Summon Realm to conduct business there? (no, as there is no way of monitoring her activities there, and her minders lack summoning/anti-summoning expertise)
    4. To their knowledge, are there going to be any opportunities for training/sparring, particularly once Akane has recovered somewhat (you are free to train under immediate observation; whether any of your minders participate is up to them. Shikamaru probably won't unless you're really persuasive. Chōji might. Ino is hard to predict)
    5. Is there a library we're authorized to read at / borrow from? (Assuming Hazou has heard of such a thing) (there are Leaf libraries. No borrowing rights for you, but reading may be possible with supervision)
    6. Ask minders if we have access to some version of a panic button, whether seal-based or a colored firework or what, in the event of trouble (they're unclear on the concept, but say that any ninjutsu that produces a light directly above your location will provoke an immediate Leaf ninja response which probably won't try to kill you)
    7. Go through Mari: (iff to the best of Hazou's knowledge this, like, actually works as an application of genjutsu) would minders consider secure conferencing via genjutsu a violation of the terms of our stay in Leaf? If so, can they pass on a request for authorization to have such discussions / for a physical location to have sensitive discussions to J? (genjutsu doesn't normally do this, as you do not have full read/write access to the target's brain)
    8. Is there space in the budget for spare barrel material (contingent on Noburi wanting to make more of them e.g. to store with the Pangolins / one without seals in a storage seal)? (yes, there is)
  2. Once we are alone in quarters for the night (after game night, if that happens)
    1. (O) Dispel (no effect)
    2. Say a quiet thank you to Inoue-sensei for taking care of everyone even though we know it's stressful. Accept any resulting hair-ruffles stoically. (Hazō decides to do this another time as he's still holding a grudge over earlier)
    3. (O) Make clear to Keiko that Hazou is not especially sure about Wind-weapon techniques being the best thing for her to ask for even just among other Wind techniques (e.g. there may be defensive, mobility, or direct-offense options that have higher marginal utility), and that she should of course put the heaviest weight on her own assessment. (done; Keiko acts puzzled since of course she was going to trust her own judgement most anyway)
    4. (O) Hazou should dedicate time to actively de-stressing - meditation, stretching, relaxing in the hot bath - and should encourage others to do so. (this helps, but worries about Akane will not go away)
Anything else that didn't happen in the update proper has not yet happened at all.
 
So... Kabuto is an exceptionally good resource to have on our sides even remotely, but at the same time, we have no real way to trust him and his deception is high enough that he could very easily beat Mari.
 
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