- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Note that in canon there is no Summon Realm. It's possible to walk to the toads et al.
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
Note that in canon there is no Summon Realm. It's possible to walk to the toads et al.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
WADDUP ITS ONCE AGAIN TIME FOR CHRONO'S CONTINUITY CORNER.
IN THIS EPISODE, INOUE'S ORIGINAL JOUNIN SENSEI UNDERGOES GENDER REASSIGNMENT SURGERY.
WHAT A LIBERAL PLACE HIDDEN MIST IS. GREAT TO SEE THAT PEOPLE ARE FREE TO EXPRESS THEIR INNER GENDER.
IN THIS EPISODE, INOUE'S ORIGINAL JOUNIN SENSEI UNDERGOES GENDER REASSIGNMENT SURGERY.
WHAT A LIBERAL PLACE HIDDEN MIST IS. GREAT TO SEE THAT PEOPLE ARE FREE TO EXPRESS THEIR INNER GENDER.
- Location
- Yes.
Something something genderfluid something something fucking cismale.
- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
*cough* "their jounin-sensei" is actually unclear about singular versus plural because Japanese *cough cough* also -
- Location
- how about no
Or... Inoue lied to all of us to preserve Keiko's sanity.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
After further investigating in her Heartbreaker interlude, during her genin period, she had an Ishimura-sensei who was an old male Taijutsu expert and died on a mission, and then the male Usami-sensei who was the first to train her in genjutsu and infiltration, and almost certainly did so until her Chuunin Exams. Usami-sensei was the leader of her and two other genin. Only possibility is that she had that female Nao-sensei before Ishimura, which is rather a lot of turnover and team switching.
- Location
- Europe
I could see a genjutsu expert running a super long con where he or she pretends to be both genders just confuse the shit out of everyone. Bonus points if even extensive polling of his or her romantic partners yields no meaningful results.
EDIT: Oh, and naturally both genders have a different ninja specialty.
EDIT: Oh, and naturally both genders have a different ninja specialty.
Last edited:
- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
I could see a hivemind run by a Sufficient Velocity thread doing this.
I cannot see any sane character doing this
First line: I honestly want to see that (SB/SV controlling the Troll Genjutsu master) be a quest.I could see a hivemind run by a Sufficient Velocity thread doing this.
I cannot see any sane character doing this
Second: If you are a ninja, then you are not sane... at least not for long. ALL of the veteran ninja (those that last longer than two years) are insane because killing people easily and without remorse is traumatic. (insert long psychology speech here)
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Everyone's got their coping mechanisms and seeming-insanity is a lot more healthy than learning to enjoy what you do, in this case.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
LOUD NOISES!
As other people have pointed out, Inoue has already made clear that she studied under several people.
Do you honestly believe that Inoue-sensei would lie to you just to effect positive team dynamics / help a student / prevent a team member from abandoning the team? (Or freak out / intrigue her students? Or because she's bored, or it's Tuesday?)
I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you.
Very good lying skills. S-ranked.
- Location
- Canada
I want to believe. This mean she succefully manipulated the situation and lied perfectly for the food of the team without any one noticing. True jonin skill there and even more impressively it means the hivemind was out played. This is what would happen in a rational ninja world and for nobody on the board to notice until now is great. Inoue-sensei has already proven willing to do questionable things for the good of the team as mentioned on the beach episode and she hasn't shown any attraction to women just men........I really like the idea of her pulling as fast one on everyone. The team and us being tricked just screams ninja shenanigans. Im really fond of this idea, what else could we have missed on the quest?
Speaking for myself, I thought it was a pretty obvious strategy. I just didn't mention it.
Besides, it might be true.
Last edited:
Chapter 71: Knowledge is Power
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
There comes a time in every man's life when he's a day late with the update, and so tired he's actually managed to accidentally perma-delete his draft, and all he can do is provide most of the same information in the form of an infodump and go get some sleep (in the middle of the day). Apologies for the inconvenience.
While Rice has no hidden village, it is ruled by a loose coalition of ninja clans constantly engaged in a deep political game completely opaque to outsiders. The Akoma Clan act as the clans' diplomatic representatives and present a united front to the rest of the ninja world. They even manage to fool some people.
Rice is a very bountiful land which provides a notable proportion of the continent's food, and as a consequence has a comparatively high standard of living. The reason that its resource wealth and lack of hidden village has not led to its rapid conquest is that the Rice ninja have publically expressed their will to burn the entire country to ashes before they'll let a single farm be taken by their enemies. Their reputation for ruthlessness is sufficient that no one has tried to call their bluff.
Ordinarily, you'd expect that sort of announcement to lead to rebellion from a civilian population which does not wish to be burned to ashes in the event of war, or at least civil unrest which would be very bad for business. However, the Rice commoners are fiercely loyal, seeing their ninja as the only ones who remained among the people instead of sequestering themselves in hidden fortresses and keeping all the benefits of civilisation for themselves. In addition, those commoners had front row seats for the pillaging of Iron next door, and many would themselves put their fields to the torch rather than become slaves to a permanent foreign occupation (or so they declare).
As a consequence of all this, village ninja are unwelcome in Rice, with only a couple of towns (the one you're in, and one more in southeast Rice) established as safe spaces where representatives of hidden villages can come (with permission) to negotiate, communicate and be fleeced for all they're worth by opportunistic merchants. On the other hand, while missing-nin aren't exactly welcome as such (and any seen as competing with the clans for missions tend to find themselves eviscerated and hung in a public square), one clan or another will often find itself in a situation where it does not wish to get its own hands dirty – and deniable assets never go out of style.
Given this, it seems likely that Arikada's new employer is one of the Rice ninja clans, and if so, she must be stopped before she reaches her final destination and becomes embroiled in Rice's labyrinthine internal politics (with which no sane man wishes to tangle, Jiraiya included). On the other hand, this may be the only context in which any reputations you've acquired as missing-nin will be an asset rather than a liability – those who recognise you will actually be more likely to tolerate you than if they believe you to be infiltrating minions of a hidden village. Though of course, there are always the spies and informants on the lookout for interesting missing-nin arrivals as well.
Sarubetsu is a town of a few thousand people. It is run by a conventional civilian administration, with a mayor in charge. The mayor does not wear the colours of any of the three ninja clans with influence in the area, which suggests that either she is an accomplished player maintaining a careful course of neutrality – or there is a hidden hand at work.
Jiraiya says that even in the event that paralytic seals existed, they would certainly be too valuable and dangerous a piece of technology to send anywhere near a skilled enemy sealmaster. While he has no anti-sealing seals or techniques to offer you, he can give you the following pointers for fighting a sealing expert:
In regard to Jōtarō and code words, you spent so long on your last mission that your old set went out of date. You could, of course, have picked up a couple of new ones if you'd asked a contact of Jiraiya's who already knew you. You are now up to date (at least assuming you succeed in this mission and thus don't get removed from Jiraiya's network with extreme prejudice).
Jiraiya's three points for effective contract-signing are as follows:
Needless to say, she is highly paranoid, and methodical to a fault. Jiraiya also notes that Arikada has had a series of apprentices, all without exception attractive boys, and that each one has met a grisly fate in what was probably a sealing accident. In addition, one of her recent employers included in their payment a box of the mild narcotic known as Vermilion Sigh.
While Rice has no hidden village, it is ruled by a loose coalition of ninja clans constantly engaged in a deep political game completely opaque to outsiders. The Akoma Clan act as the clans' diplomatic representatives and present a united front to the rest of the ninja world. They even manage to fool some people.
Rice is a very bountiful land which provides a notable proportion of the continent's food, and as a consequence has a comparatively high standard of living. The reason that its resource wealth and lack of hidden village has not led to its rapid conquest is that the Rice ninja have publically expressed their will to burn the entire country to ashes before they'll let a single farm be taken by their enemies. Their reputation for ruthlessness is sufficient that no one has tried to call their bluff.
Ordinarily, you'd expect that sort of announcement to lead to rebellion from a civilian population which does not wish to be burned to ashes in the event of war, or at least civil unrest which would be very bad for business. However, the Rice commoners are fiercely loyal, seeing their ninja as the only ones who remained among the people instead of sequestering themselves in hidden fortresses and keeping all the benefits of civilisation for themselves. In addition, those commoners had front row seats for the pillaging of Iron next door, and many would themselves put their fields to the torch rather than become slaves to a permanent foreign occupation (or so they declare).
As a consequence of all this, village ninja are unwelcome in Rice, with only a couple of towns (the one you're in, and one more in southeast Rice) established as safe spaces where representatives of hidden villages can come (with permission) to negotiate, communicate and be fleeced for all they're worth by opportunistic merchants. On the other hand, while missing-nin aren't exactly welcome as such (and any seen as competing with the clans for missions tend to find themselves eviscerated and hung in a public square), one clan or another will often find itself in a situation where it does not wish to get its own hands dirty – and deniable assets never go out of style.
Given this, it seems likely that Arikada's new employer is one of the Rice ninja clans, and if so, she must be stopped before she reaches her final destination and becomes embroiled in Rice's labyrinthine internal politics (with which no sane man wishes to tangle, Jiraiya included). On the other hand, this may be the only context in which any reputations you've acquired as missing-nin will be an asset rather than a liability – those who recognise you will actually be more likely to tolerate you than if they believe you to be infiltrating minions of a hidden village. Though of course, there are always the spies and informants on the lookout for interesting missing-nin arrivals as well.
Sarubetsu is a town of a few thousand people. It is run by a conventional civilian administration, with a mayor in charge. The mayor does not wear the colours of any of the three ninja clans with influence in the area, which suggests that either she is an accomplished player maintaining a careful course of neutrality – or there is a hidden hand at work.
Jiraiya says that even in the event that paralytic seals existed, they would certainly be too valuable and dangerous a piece of technology to send anywhere near a skilled enemy sealmaster. While he has no anti-sealing seals or techniques to offer you, he can give you the following pointers for fighting a sealing expert:
- Do not fight them in terrain they've had a chance to prepare
- Hit them hard and fast before they can pull out and activate their seals
- Even a little damage from water or fire can instantly ruin a seal
- Seals are fundamentally static and defensive in nature; typical combat seals cannot track a moving target or reach beyond a fixed distance
- A fighter who's had his concentration impaired won't fight as well; a sealmaster who's had his concentration impaired is a walking time bomb
- Sealmasters are paranoid and over-prepared; you must do the unexpected to bypass their defences
- A sensible sealmaster will keep emergency seals in their sleeves or elsewhere in their clothing, ideally within easy reach and between multiple layers of cloth so that there's no risk of sweat damaging the seal. Watertight pouches are often used for the most important seals so that the sealmaster can't be instantly defeated by a bucket of water perched over a door. There are stories of sealmasters who incorporate some kind of seal storage into their own body.
In regard to Jōtarō and code words, you spent so long on your last mission that your old set went out of date. You could, of course, have picked up a couple of new ones if you'd asked a contact of Jiraiya's who already knew you. You are now up to date (at least assuming you succeed in this mission and thus don't get removed from Jiraiya's network with extreme prejudice).
Jiraiya's three points for effective contract-signing are as follows:
- Understand the other being's culture, background and perspective as fully as possible to establish smooth communication and mutual respect quickly
- Come to the bargaining table already knowing what they want, and offer it before they ask
- Summoners are shinobi of legend in both worlds: for a deep and lasting relationship, make the other being want to be part of your story, rather than merely a participant in an exchange
Needless to say, she is highly paranoid, and methodical to a fault. Jiraiya also notes that Arikada has had a series of apprentices, all without exception attractive boys, and that each one has met a grisly fate in what was probably a sealing accident. In addition, one of her recent employers included in their payment a box of the mild narcotic known as Vermilion Sigh.
Last edited:
- Location
- Atlanta
@eaglejarl, @Velorien, my recollection from when we were working on our sealing lab is that activating a seal requires that you touch it while projecting chakra to activate it, and that absent shenanigans like a Hyuuga bloodline, chakra can only be projected from your hands. Am I remembering correctly?
(Color removed from quote. You're welcome, @faflec.)
What? You thought we'd believe she was just a triggerhappy pedarast?
Hmm. I doubt she's actually addicted to that, unless she'd using it to treat a side effect from her mutation seals. Possibly it lets her sleep? Otherwise, it's for her immortal bodyguard-and/or-ward.
What? You thought we'd believe she was just a triggerhappy pedarast?
Well, keep in mind that her specialty is biosealing...
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
So, we've got options. As I mildly suspected, she's prideful, so if we approached her with a sample of what I can only assume is her work (the casino seals), she might be more inclined to work with us.
Alternatively:
We could send Hazou in with her as an apprentice (shudder) and see if he could convince her to come with us.
We could send Hazou and Mari as emmissaries of Kagome, another sealmaster who would consider working with her, etc.
We could just ambush her on the road with paralytic, although given her specialty, that might not work very well...
Alternatively:
We could send Hazou in with her as an apprentice (shudder) and see if he could convince her to come with us.
We could send Hazou and Mari as emmissaries of Kagome, another sealmaster who would consider working with her, etc.
We could just ambush her on the road with paralytic, although given her specialty, that might not work very well...
If we're using Hazou as bait then we should have someone else (Mari?) approach her beforehand, and gague her Deception level.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
She's got employers and has had apprentices before, that's obviously not the case.
- Location
- Yes.
I mean with the intent that was stated (have Hazou present himself as an apprentice/emissaries). That screams *bullshit* to me any which way you slice it.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Well, yeah. I wasn't intending those ideas be used as is, was just tossing out a few basic ideas to optimize. Also, apologies if I came off too snippy, that was intended to be a bemused tone, not snarky.