The Rat Scroll is evidently on Crimson State Island, last seen in the possession of the Crimson Sunrise Clan a long time ago. There's also a Dungeon on Crimson State Island literally called the Forbidden Dungeon and it would be our luck for the Scroll to be in there, so that seems less up Mari's alley (though maybe still within her abilities as an EJonin+. Genjutsu doesnt work as well on beasts unfortunately so she'd definitely need backup.)
If it's in the Forbidden Dungeon, we have definitely got to do that with Hazō. (Or perhaps the QMs would be willing to do a series of chapters from another PoV and let us do some form of voting on their actions?)
I would vote for a plan that asks Mari about the feasibility of nabbing the Kraken scroll (in terms of her capabilities, opportunity cost, permission from Asuma, etc.). And, Jashin willing, we'll get a lead on the Kangaroo scroll soon.
I'm going to say it again, a resolve boosting jutsu is not a good thing to bargain for. We don't need to be spending more XP to get more XP in the future. We can just start spending our XP to get better now
Is that a reasonably powerful resolve-boosting technique? I feel like +AB is pretty standard for buffs, not anything notably powerful. Heck, PKH is basically +2AB to physical skills at level 10 and that was one of the first things the Pangs were willing to give us.
If that's the best the Yamanaka could give us then I'm absolutely inclined to agree with you, but like.... Idk, I kind of figured the mind specialists would have something juicier than bog standard.
The Rat Scroll is evidently on Crimson State Island, last seen in the possession of the Crimson Sunrise Clan a long time ago. There's also a Dungeon on Crimson State Island literally called the Forbidden Dungeon and it would be our luck for the Scroll to be in there, so that seems less up Mari's alley (though maybe still within her abilities as an EJonin+. Genjutsu doesn't work as well on beasts unfortunately so she'd definitely need backup.)
Do we know where this Island is? This sounds extremely actionable. Forbidden Dungeon sounds dangerous, possibly like the living cave.
It would be great to get Naruto to ride along for combat security, and as kidnap/assassination prevention. We can hopefully hire him with Gem money, and/or get Asuma to order it.
We do want enough Goketsu in the mission to justify claiming the scroll for ourselves. Mari would be a good mission leader, with Yuno, Jin, and Shinji to round out the team and add numbers.
It would be really cool to give these guys screen time, even if Hazou isn't there.
Wow, that's pretty far. looks like ~750 miles (as the skywalking leaf-nin flies). Call it ~900 miles if we want to travel mostly overland.
*math*
That's a 3-week round trip at standard ninja speed. There's no way we can afford to send Hazou on that.
Asuma's made it pretty clear that Noburi stays in the Village, baring strategic necessity.
Kei is an enormously high-value target, but that's fine if we have sufficient security(Naruto) onboard.
If we can't swing Naruto, we could try to hire a pair of Jounin. Sensory types(Aburame, Hyuga, Inuzaka) with badass combat stats would be ideal.
3 weeks isn't too bad? We'll have a line of communication open to Leaf if they need us back for some reason. If we bring Nobs it's a week there, and then a week back. Nbd
3 weeks isn't too bad? We'll have a line of communication open to Leaf if they need us back for some reason. If we bring Nobs it's a week there, and then a week back. Nbd
I assume the concern is that we'd be delaying necromancy even by 3 weeks
If Hazou is going to attend I feel like Squirrel remains the stronger option between the two (though with how things went last time, I guess there's plausibly less moral concerns with the Rat Scroll)
The Squirrels professed their disinterest to Enma when he passed through the first time. On his way out, the Squirrels seemed more concerned after hearing his tale of the Dragons. Enma says they said they'd check it out.
Enma says that the Kangaroos spoke with him, but they requested that he keep their conversation secret. He implies that you might be hearing from the Kangaroos soon.
Based on this, it seems like the Squirrels should be personally arriving in Arachnid soon and maybe the Kangaroos are too, so we can verify for certain if the Squirrels have a Summoner or not (it really seems like "not" based on what we've seen imo but you never know.)
I feel like inviting anyone, even cool characters, that are not in the Clan, will likely come with the expectation that we involve them in getting a Scroll later. Like, pretty low chance he doesn't at least ask about it imo. But maybe we can bribe him with legendary tier Jiraiya seals or something...
I feel like inviting anyone, even cool characters, that are not in the Clan, will likely come with the expectation that we involve them in getting a Scroll later. Like, pretty low chance he doesn't at least ask about it imo. But maybe we can bribe him with legendary tier Jiraiya seals or something...
Although I think just bringing him in on some of our schemes would bring some dividends. Didn't he invite us on a mission recently? He knows about the rift but he doesn't know that Akatsuki might be planning to force it open or that Itachi would definitely want Pain back more than anyone else. I think he'd be inclined to help us more if he saw the bigger picture.
I feel like inviting anyone, even cool characters, that are not in the Clan, will likely come with the expectation that we involve them in getting a Scroll later. Like, pretty low chance he doesn't at least ask about it imo. But maybe we can bribe him with legendary tier Jiraiya seals or something...
I agree that's a big constraint, but we're expecting Jounin-tier dificulty in the Dungeon, and Goketsu just doesn't have that many Jounin-tier assets that it can spare for the mission.
Making the bulk of the mission Mari, Yuno, Kei/Snowflake, and our top two fight-chunin should get us enough slack to invite one really serious player along(or maaabey 2 modest jounin), without giving them to much credit.
Just make sure to negotiate beforehand and pay them outrageously.
Sasuke seems like a pretty great candidate for a summoning scroll, which makes taking him on this particular mission a bad idea.
Naruto is much safer, as he can't use summoning scrolls, and has no other ninja in his clan.
Alternately, 2 Jounin from different clans means there's now way for them to share the scroll, and the bulk of the combat power and personnel on the mission are still Goketsu/Uplift.
Hidan threw a fistful of dango into a mouth that already contained two of them, making his cheeks puff out like a chipmunk's. "Fo, Ha'o, wha' ca'n we 'oo f' you?"
Thoughts raced through Hazō's mind. He knew almost nothing about Kakuzu, but Hidan was a well-known psychopathic serial killer with no self-control. If he didn't want to create a new disaster, he'd need to tread carefully. Still, Hidan's visit brought opportunities he could only have wished for. Finding Akane's killers was one thing, but after so recently earning Ami's disapproval, he suddenly had an opportunity to distract Akatsuki from the O'uzu rift, which would improve his odds of getting Akane back.
He needed to curry favor and make sure they wouldn't turn on Leaf. Luckily, as a sealmaster, Hazō was always prepared.
Hazō leaned forward slightly in his chair as he reached into the folds of his shirt. He held it open just long enough to let Hidan see the amulet bearing Jashin's symbol that rested on Hazō's chest (he'd put it on in the mad dash to the Tower), then withdrew a seal.
"Could I interest you gentlemen in some peppermint tea?" Hazō's chakra pulsed, then a tray laden with a steaming pot and six cups popped into his hands.
Kakuzu laughed abruptly, cold and harsh, and Hidan shot him a glare.
"Hey!" Hidan said, taking the pot and a cup. "I think he's precious. Look, kid, you ain't gonna be the first to try to win me over with…"
Hidan's nostrils flared as he poured himself a cup and the aroma filled the room. Peppermint had a powerful scent, easily overpowering the various snacks laid out on the table, but the tea's brewer had known how to work it well. Hazō sent a quiet thanks to Gaku as Hidan raised the cup to just below his lips, inhaling deeply, then suddenly knocked the whole thing back. Gaku had found an ancient and wizened Motoyoshi tea master to brew this particular pot, evening out the peppermint's edge and exaggerating its crisp, herbal quality, while complementing its light sweetness with just the barest bit of honey. The old woman had apparently even spent half an hour gently massaging the poisoned quills out of the peppermint leaves so that the tea wouldn't need to be strained.
"Ah, never mind. You're not the first to try, but you're the first to succeed," Hidan said. With a sweep of his arm, he knocked the table's existing tea set to the floor. Porcelain shattered and steaming liquid sprayed over the floorboards, but Hidan ignored it as he grabbed Hazō's tea set and quickly poured two cups of peppermint tea. He offered them to Hazō and Asuma.
Hazō took his and Asuma joined him with barely a moment of hesitation.
"None for you, sir?" Hazō asked the mysterious, half-masked killer sitting next to Hidan.
Hidan laughed. "He ain't human enough for that, kid. Enjoy what you got while you got it, you know?" He poured himself a second cup and savored the aroma again. "Damn, is this what money can buy in the big cities? Maybe you're right that cash is king, Kakuzu."
Kakuzu said nothing. His eyes flicked to Hidan for a second, then he continued to stare at Hazō. Hazō didn't feel the man's killing intent, but something about his eerie green gaze still set Hazō's skin crawling.
"Ah, that's the good stuff," Hidan said, finishing his second cup and starting on a third. "Gotta make sure to put it to good use. I oughtta visit you more often if you'll treat me like this."
Hazō shrugged, forcing himself to be casual. "The duties of a host are inescapable. Sadly, I can't exactly invite you over – you say I never write, but where am I supposed to write to?"
Hidan chuckled. "Heh, fair enough. I stay on the move, while it's not like you're goin' anywhere fun. Wait!" he said, snapping a hand out to point a finger at Hazō's chest. Hazō flinched.
"You can totally write! Just send your letter off to Rain and I'm sure Konan or someone'll get it to me. Oh, you'll have to find some way to stand out from all the fanmail – putting your name on the outside should be enough, but maybe put Lord Jashin's symbol on it too. Make it clear that this is official communication and all, right?"
Take it in stride, Hazō told himself. "Not the most convenient method, but it'll do."
Hidan raised an eyebrow. "Worried about censors? Don't worry about it, we can hash out some other way." Hazō suppressed a wince but didn't look at Asuma. "Anyway, kid, you got the message to Rain, and you got my attention. What's the deal?"
Hazō swallowed. He'd given this speech enough times now that he knew he wouldn't choke on it. The hardest part had been telling Kenta and Yuri. "Around a month ago now, Gōketsu Akane and her genin team were ambushed and killed by an enemy ninja team in the Land of Fire. The enemy team exfiltrated to the north, likely passing into Iron, Waterfall, or Rice. This seems like a blatant AMITY violation targeting Hidden Leaf. I want to make her killers pay – and I want to make sure that the violation gets punished so that we can have the peace she would have wanted."
Hidan's face fell as he spoke. "Aw, kid, I'm sorry to hear that. She was your girlfriend, right?"
Hazō nodded. Hidan rapped his knuckles against the wood of Asuma's desk, still looking concerned. "Damn. That's real rough. I remember her from O'uzu. Gave her the Spirit's Trial. Lord Jashin liked her. I dunno what to say. I think anyone'd want the pieces-o'-shit that did that dead. That's somethin' we can do, right?"
"Investigating violations of the AMITY accords is explicitly within our remit, yes," Kakuzu said. "However, after the first three investigations pointed us at the wind in the hope that we'd raze an enemy's village, we've decided that we will continue charging our usual rates."
Hidan waved a hand. "Look, there's some people out there that need a good slaughterin'. We gotta charge for that?"
"Focus, Hidan. We will likely be 'slaughtering' other AMITY members if things are as the child says. You still cannot kill ninja from AMITY countries for fun. If we are to investigate this, we do it with Leaf's explicit endorsement."
"The people that killed Akane need to die. And it's important that AMITY is preserved." Hazō said firmly. He reached for a seal carrying a small vial of Akane's blood. "I have a sample of her blood. Can you find her?"
Hidan smirked. "You got blood? That'll help. Don't worry about it, kid. If she's anywhere on this Path, we'll find her and massacre her killers."
"Well, if you find them, we need one alive to determine their employer and to confirm the AMITY violation," Hazō said. Though… even with the clan's expected windfall in the Hyūga gem deal, he still didn't know whether he'd have the money to pay a full team of S-rank ninja for a mission of unknown duration. "Lord Hokage?"
To his credit, Asuma barely grimaced at Hazō's request. "I agree. Given that means, motive, and miscellaneous evidence point towards this being Hidden Rock's revenge on a war hero that wronged them, Lord Gōketsu and I will fund your investigation. Identifying the culprit is critical to Leaf's security."
"So, that's it?" Hidan said. "You'll hire us to slaughter Akane's killers?"
Asuma nodded.
"We're done with business here? Nothin' more for us to discuss?"
"We still need to finish negotiating the details of the contract, Hidan," Kakuzu said impatiently.
"You can figure that shit out," Hidan said, standing up and flicking his wrist to pull his scythe into his hands. "If I'm done with business here, that means I'm now a tourist!"
"Hidan," Kakuzu said. "We are traveling together for a reason. You will sit down and wait while we decide the agreement before you run off on some imbecilic 'tourism'."
"Fuck that, I did my part. You fiddle with the numbers and the ryō. C'mon, kid," he said, gesturing at Hazō to follow. "We gotta lotta catchin' up to do."
Hazō stood, looking hesitantly between the neutral-faced Asuma, Hidan's retreating back, and the clearly pissed-off Kakuzu. After a moment's consideration, he bowed to Asuma.
"Lord Hokage."
Better stick with Hidan and keep him from slaughtering anyone in Leaf, rather than remain in the room with an angry S-ranker who might blame him for Hidan's irreverence.
He left the meeting room, following Hidan's jaunty stride.
o-o-o
"Alright, kid," Hidan said as he exited the Tower's main entrance with his scythe slung over his shoulder. "Never been a tourist before. Where are we headed?"
"There's an art exhibit-"
"Boring."
"A winter festival with ice sculptures-"
"Lame."
Hazō searched his mind. "There's a good ramen shop near here?"
"That'll do," Hidan said, surveying the square around the Tower. "Always a good thing to keep in mind: pleasures of the flesh never get old. Say, I heard you were makin' some strides towards real equality in this town. Lord Jashin likes that. He thinks everyone's equal, man or woman, ninja or civilian. Can I buy men in this town's whorehouses yet?"
"I… I'm afraid I don't know."
"Shame," Hidan said. "Sounds like you ain't usin' your money well. Don't worry, I'll check."
Dozens of ninja had gathered around the square and on the rooftops, glaring at Hidan but keeping their distance. Hidan pulled the scythe that had killed an unknown number of their brothers and sisters off of his shoulder to point.
"How about we head that'a way for your first tourist idea?"
"...the ramen shop is on the other side of the square."
"Ah, whatever. We'll wander around a little and you can tell me what you've been doin' to spread the gospel as Lord Jashin's own chosen."
o-o-o
"No temple!? No massacres!? Sage's blood, you don't even have a convert? What have you been doing these past two years?"
"You swear by the Sage?" Hazō asked mildly. Hidan was… a surprisingly good conversationalist. He let Hazō push back against his questions and control the flow of conversation here and there. With the bulk of his recent S-ranker exposure coming from Orochimaru, it was a disturbingly pleasant change of pace.
"Lord Jashin's the only one that made the bearded bastard bleed," Hidan said with a wink. "Gotta commemorate great feats, y'know? None of the others got a scratch on the shit. Now, answer the question. Have you managed to kill a single person since I was last here?"
Hazō racked his brain. "I've killed lots of chakra beasts," he said. "And I ripped the lungs out of a Hyena."
Hidan shook his head morosely. "They don't count. If it can't suffer, it ain't worth puttin' out of its misery, y'know?"
"I'm pretty sure the Hyena could suffer," Hazō said. "Creatures on the Seventh Path have intelligence."
Hidan cocked his head. "Huh. I don't know whether that counts. Interestin' bit of theology, if it's smart but it ain't human. Killed, right? Not popped into smoke?"
Hazō nodded, trying his best to lean into the anger he felt at the Hyenas killing his allies when they were just trying to get to the Conclave. "Ripped its damn lungs out, Hidan. It's dead."
"Well, it don't matter," Hidan said. "I'd bet you're behind on your quota! We gotta patch that up for you. Just to be safe, kill humans." As they walked, Hidan was snatching things from stalls and street vendors they passed. He'd paid with fistfuls of coins at first, but eventually Hidan had run out of money and started leaving behind trinkets in exchange for the festival foodstuffs he took.
"I've killed people indirectly," Hazō said, crossing his arms and trying to keep any inner nausea from leaking out. "I've given orders. And my seals have killed plenty of people."
"Doesn't count, kid," Hidan said. "Unless it's your hand, blade, or ninjutsu doin' the killin'-"
"I use seals to fight," Hazō said. "They can reduce bodies to red mist. Does that count?"
"You're the one usin' the seals? Then sure, that counts. Anything else ain't gonna help you balance your tally. That's all there is to it, but it helps to say or think 'for Jashin!' before ya do it, and also to make the symbol." He quickly scratched out the symbol of a triangle in a circle with one sandal on the dirt road.
"What do you mean, balance my tally?"
"Lord Jashin's all about balance!" Hidan said, gesturing wildly with his scythe and cutting three rough slashes into the wall of an adjacent house. All the local civilians had been evacuated by ninja moving to clear the way before the international terrorist, but Hazō still made a mental note to pay for the repairs. "Life and death. Gluttony and starvation. Hot and cold. Forest and desert. You do something for Lord Jashin, and he does something for you. The weight of your sins punishes you in the end, the value of your actions rewards you. S'how you can tell he's real, and all this Will of Fire bullshit's fake. Better a god that rewards you in this life than an abstract thingamajiggy that maybe rewards you in the next one, right?"
"Hidan, you didn't exactly give me any scripture to go by. Lord Jashin may be guiding me, but I don't know what I should be doing to worship or spread the message."
"There's two things you gotta do," Hidan said. "One: slaughter people in his name. No chakra beasts, no clones, no wishy-washy 'oh but I technically was responsible for his death if you look at it this way'. Actual, real slaughter. Two: convince other people to do the same. It's easy enough because people like a god that gives back. Build a temple, give some sermons, sacrifice a couple virgins, and they come flockin' in."
"So Jashin distributes his blessings to those that serve him?"
Hidan nodded. "Yeah. If you're really Lord Jashin's chosen, I bet he's just itchin' to grant you his favors, but if you're not putting any money on your tab, how's he gonna pay for your drinks? Have you had a dream?"
"A dream?"
"Yeah, a dream," Hidan said. "Usually they'll be weird and cryptic, but easy to remember. Like a peaceful day under the sunshine and a blood-red moon, or a world of floatin' islands in endless darkness connected only by bridges of bone, or people poppin' into existence from the end of your scythe and agin' backwards until they're babies again. Lord Jashin never does all the work for ya, you see? You gotta figure out what it means on your own. You clearly ain't seen one."
"Seems like an awful lot of trouble," Hazō said. "He doesn't just tell you what he wants?"
"He doesn't," Hidan said, suddenly dead serious. "If you meet someone claiming to hear the voice of a god in their head, you better kill them even more than usual. They cut out Lord Jashin's tongue. You'll never hear him speak."
"Who is 'they'?" Hazō asked. "For that matter, if it's not rude to ask, what is Lord Jashin, metaphysically speaking?"
Hidan batted a hand. "Practical matters before theology, kid. You are way behind on your duties as Leaf's High Priest. You gotta focus on the important stuff – namely, buildin' a temple, gettin' some acolytes, and, most importantly, makin' your quota. Once you get up to scratch on the basics, we can get into the advanced shit. Hey you!" he said, pointing the scythe at one of the ninja watching their stroll from a rooftop. "Wanna join Hazō's cult of Jashin?"
The ninja bolted as soon as Hidan had pointed, forcing the mad S-ranker to yell out the question at the ninja's back.
Hidan scoffed. "Only religion in this town that comes with real perks, and the job description of a ninja basically means you'll be earnin' the Lord's favor without trying. Some people are real boneheads. Meant more for receiving Lord Jashin's most holy sacrament than delivering it, if you know what I mean."
Hazō's Jashinist affiliation would be all over town within the hour, no doubt. And Hidan might actually make him build a temple. Mari would have the worst headache of her life trying to salvage the clan's reputation after this.
o-o-o
"Hey, see that girl?" Hidan said. Hazō turned and saw a young chūnin, clearly KEI by the lack of any patch or colors to signal her affiliation. She was standing at a healthy distance on a rooftop away from the ramen stand. As Hazō looked, Hidan slurped down a clump of noodles.
"I think I killed her brother. Kisame ripped his mask and a lil' chunk of face off before I got to him, but through the blood, I remember seein' the same shape of nose and weird greenish hair. He wasn't half-bad. Got me right here," he said, slapping the side of his belly. "Maybe she'll attack me and I'll get to finish off the family."
"I don't think she's suicidal," Hazō said carefully.
"More's the shame. And it is a shame, isn't it? All these people," he said gesturing around to the now-empty ramen shop and the nearly deserted streets around it, "live their lives in misery. The civilians hate the ninja, but they don't have the power to stop the abuse, so they just take it. And the ninja have all the power in the world, but they can't use it without justifications. They gotta tell themselves that usin' power is right, instead of just doin' what they want. Remember the Hokage?"
Hazō nodded.
"He hated my guts! But he got himself bound up in the roles and rules of civilization, so he couldn't even indulge his real desire to spill aforementioned guts all over the floor. I mean, I killed his friends, how much more killable do I gotta be before he gets the balls to try? That girl too. She's got the anger, but she represses it instead of being honest with herself and trying to tear me apart. They're all lying to themselves, Hazō. That's why you gotta be honest and actually rip out people's viscera when you feel the desire in your heart. Got it?"
"You act like you always slaughter anyone you want to, Hidan," Hazō said, crossing his arms. "You were so enthusiastic about murdering your way through Rock's warhawks when we last met, but the warhawks survived and we still had a war that slowed down progress on Uplift."
"Ah, those guys!" Hidan said. "I snuck into Rock a few times for some killing. Got a couple hundred the first time. Only a few dozen the second. Then the numbers were lower."
"A couple hundred warhawks?" Hazō asked, incredulously.
"Just about," Hidan said. "I mean, they all hated Leaf, and they tried to kill me when they didn't even know me! Bet they would'a gone to war with you too. And before you ask why I didn't start with the Tsuchikage, you tell me how you get to the middle of a dumpling without biting into the dough? And hey, not everyone in Akatsuki's had the chance to kill a Kage. Figured I'd savor the build-up."
"So what happened?" Hazō asked.
Hidan shrugged as he slurped at the noodle broth. "Killed a bunch. They got better at defending. Figured I'd wear 'em down over time 'cuz they'd have nothing to actually kill me. Turns out the Dust Release didn't end with Ōnoki, so then I had to be real careful. Eventually I wasn't makin' any progress so I invited the others. Deidara didn't want to help my hobby project, Itachi wasn't enticed by the nostalgia of slaughterin' another big happy family, and Sasori said he was busy, so I threw in the towel. War was brewin' by that point anyway, so I figured Lord Jashin finally put his finger on the scales to get you whatever you wanted. You got what you wanted, right? I figure this whole AMITY thing is right up your alley – gets you the room to do your whole Uplift schtick.
"Anyway, speaking of which, let's go check on that schtick!" Hidan said, swinging out of the stool and bouncing out into the street. "Plus, I'm gettin' sick of everyone watchin' and listenin' in on us, and that counts, you, ANBU. Any of you still watchin' us out in the wilds'll get a high-speed theology lesson."
Hazō didn't bother looking around for ANBU. Instead, he said, "I can't exactly leave the village right now. I'd need an official mission."
"S-rank escort mission," Hidan said, pointing his thumb at his chest. "'Cuz you're escortin' an S-ranker. Now c'mon."
Hazō followed in Hidan's footsteps as the madman took to Leaf's rooftops headed east.
"Speaking of which," Hazō said, "did you hear about the S-rank mission I was recently assigned?"
o-o-o
"That's some crazy shit," Hidan said as they scaled Leaf's outermost wall. "Dragons, huh? Makes me wish I was a summoner so I could go out there and sacrifice one to Lord Jashin. Maybe I'll massacre a few towns extra and pray real hard so the Lord can point me to a scroll."
"Well, there's still something Akatsuki can do there," Hazō said. "The Great Seal is enormously complex, and we could use sealmasters to help figure it out to reseal the Dragons. And hey, there was that big machine at Nagi Island. Think that could be related?"
Hidan laughed. "Sasori's been kickin' himself that we didn't retrieve that shit. We kinda got our asses whooped and wanted to get outta there quickly, but we didn't think to grab the Seedling. It would'a been hard to move, I guess."
"The Seedling?"
Hidan waved a hand. "Hey, don't ask me. Nagato made it, and that's what he called it. I did my part, and tending to the Seedling was his. That and actually castin' the ritual. So Leaf wasn't the one that got it?"
Hazō shook his head.
"Great, it was probably Mist then. We went lookin' but never found a sign of it. We'll shake 'em down more thoroughly now that we have the chance. Maybe thinkin' 'bout that and the Great Seal will let Sasori chill from the grind for a bit."
Hazō tucked away the confirmation that Sasori was working on a big project. "If not on the sealing end, there's the Conclave – having your summoners show up there would help us get the Bosses to actually do something useful for once."
Hidan leaped off of the wall and landed hard in the forest eighty feet below. Hazō jumped afterwards, breaking his fall in steps on a tree's branches, and his knees still ached by the time he reached the ground. Hidan didn't stop to recover though, and started leaping through the trees to the northeast.
"Heh, I can see that. People are really idiots, sometimes. You gotta beef up so you can put the fear of Lord Jashin in them. It's damn hard to get things done otherwise. Still, I think we're doin' somethin' there. That Mori girl talked to sharkboy and the lil' twink at AMITY, I think. They're makin' plans."
"I heard that Ami and Itachi got into an argument of some sort," Hazō said. "What was the deal with that?"
Hidan shrugged. "I dunno. I stay away from that shit. Honestly, probably reminded Itachi why he stays away from politics too. Hey, you!" he said, suddenly turning. "Stop fuckin' followin' us or we'll sacrifice 'you to Lord Jashin."
Hazō turned, but saw only empty forest.
"By the power vested in me by Lord Jashin and Akatsuki and AMITY and all the other bullshit, I sentence you to death in five, four, three, two- fuckin' finally, c'mon kid."
Hazō saw only trees and bare branches moving slightly in the cold winter's wind.
"C'mon, Hazō," Hidan said insistently from the next tree over. "Places to be, away from prying ears, eyes, 'n fingers. Let's go."
o-o-o
"Not bad, not bad," Hidan said, strolling around the four square MaRI walls that enclosed the small settlement north of Leaf. The walls had a pair of natural breaks for the river running through the village, both of which had thick portcullises to prevent beasts from getting in. Both sides of the river had been terraced into patches of dense rice paddies, while thirty or so small huts occupied the area within the walls farthest from the river. In all, it seemed like a small, two-day project in the Ministry's ongoing quest to wall up all of Fire's farming towns.
"Honestly, I had intended to talk with Kakuzu about this work," Hazō said. "I've only heard a little bit about him, but I thought he would appreciate the details on how to uplift civilization. The walls are making a massive difference, and we're about to start construction of massive trade roads between major cities."
Hidan snorted. "Yeah, that does sound like his thing. He's probably negotiated the Hokage out of his treasury and gotten all the information we need to find Akane by now. I bet he'll check out your Uplift shit till we get back. He's been interested in the Missionary and the Future Footwork or whatever."
"Well, here you go," Hazō said. "Concrete progress towards Uplift. Between this and chakra beast exterminations all over Fire Country, we're projecting a massive boom in births. That'll make Jashin happy, right?"
Hidan grinned. "Lord Jashin is very pleased with you," he said. "You've done such a great job of preparing all these sacrifices."
"Sacrifices?" Hazō asked as his blood ran cold. "No, Hidan. The point of improving their living conditions is so that they live longer, have more and healthier children. There are more people in the long run, so more births and more deaths. That's what Jashin wants, right?"
"Yeah, yeah," Hidan said. The paddies were barren in the winter cold, meaning that only now did the peasants notice the pair of ninja strolling on the village's outer wall. Most of the civilians that had noticed hid away in their homes, but a couple people had already come out of the village to bow to the passing ninja. "That's the plan, and it's workin' out well. I ain't complainin' about how things are goin'. Nah, the issue is that you've been slacking on satisfyin' sacraments. If you want to be Lord Jashin's proper chosen, you're gonna have to get your sacrifice numbers up. Go ahead and kill 'em. Remember what I taught you."
"I… I don't want to. Didn't you say you hated how people wanted to kill you but held themselves back? I'm not holding myself back, Hidan. I don't want to do this."
"You don't want to be Lord Jashin's chosen?" For the first time, Hazō heard danger in Hidan's voice. "You think he picked wrong?"
The civilians were still bowing to the two ninja, paused on the walls overlooking the village. This close to Leaf, the peasants would be used to ninja presence on extermination missions. They probably thought they were Leaf ninja, here for a till-n-fill or some administrative business.
"I don't want to kill these people."
Hidan sighed, pulling his scythe off his shoulders and giving it a couple test swings. "Look, kid. Lord Jashin likes your Uplift idea. He likes you a lot, and wants to make Uplift happen. Makes sense he'd choose you for that – it ain't up my alley. But unless you give him the room to put his finger on the scales, he ain't gonna help you out. I'm sure he's fine with you doin' all the work, but you're gonna need guidance and strength to get it done. Unless you're fool enough to renounce Lord Jashin's blessing.
"Remember Hazō, the greatest sin is mercy, and these peasants don't matter. You want Lord Jashin to give you a hand? Lord Jashin helps those who help themselves.
"So," Hidan said, gesturing broadly with his scythe to the growing population of the town that was coming out of their houses and bowing to the two ninja atop the walls that penned them in. "Help yourself."
XP Award: 1 - 1 (brevity) (The plan covered a couple hours)
Vote time! What to do now?
Voting ends on
. This means that the vote ends 24 hours later than normal.
Maybe we should tell him to bring Akane's killers to us, those can be sacrifices. Maybe even once a month bring some morally reprehensible people to drop off to us to keep the sacrifice numbers up. This keeps Hidan busy and it keeps us in the clear.
I don't, and don't intend to in the future. In general, I think such things would be a bad fit for the quest. Player discussion, analysis, and planning have always depended heavily on @faflec the ability to look back at past chapters, from vague worldbuilding and characterisation to the exact wording of dialogue. Splitting the player base into those who can access certain information and those who can't would not go well.
Any Patreon interludes will be non-canon (unless they are eventually posted to the thread). I'm thinking it'll mainly be for fluffy slice-of-life scenes or off-screen, non-spoilery stuff that would be cool to see.
Itachi gave a distant smile that quickly disappeared. "Hidan will inform you that the greatest sin is mercy, and the greatest virtue is conviction. Where, I wonder, does ignorance fall on that scale?"
Letting Hidan know that we have control of a repeat-use weapon of mass destruction seems like it is inevitably going to go terribly wrong. Hidan will either eventually demand we use it or leak knowledge of its existence through his complete lack of concern over secrecy. It will just be a repeat of the current trolley problem with vastly greater stakes.
Letting Hidan know that we have control of a repeat-use weapon of mass destruction seems like it is inevitably going to go terribly wrong. Hidan will either eventually demand we use it or leak knowledge of its existence through his complete lack of concern over secrecy. It will just be a repeat of the current trolley problem with vastly greater stakes.
[] Kill the oldest 1/3rd of the population. Justify to Hidan that we are harvesting the ripe crop, and leaving the rest to grow and multiply.
This is enormously fucked up and monstrous. This is a establishing a lower bound on how many people we can save without getting murdered by an insane S-ranker.
Now let's come up with something better, that actually saves everyone.
We should also probably get clarification on how many he wants us to kill. Also explain that our seals are like his scythe, at least in actual battle. They should count.
