Ino threw herself into Hazō's arms with a tight hug. After a couple seconds, she pulled her head back, and Hazō obligingly lowered his head so she could kiss him.
Eventually, they separated, and Ino presented the bouquet she'd brought. "For you."
Hazō took a moment to take in the various flowers. The art of crafting a bouquet was something beyond him, but Mari had insisted that he learn the bare basics of Leaf flower language, since clan heads would often use flowers to subtly communicate the mood without being crass. Walking into a meeting without whether they'd left out a vase of edelweiss or anemone could be disastrous.
"Let's see…. Love, pride, piety," he said, pointing at the flowers one by one. There was definitely a correct order to take them in that would spell out a message, but he could only manage naming what they symbolized. "The blessings of fortune, longing for the object of your dreams, and… congratulations for my new child!?"
Ino blushed deeply. "What? That's not- I mean-" she breathed deeply. "That's a yellow poppy, Hazō. Not purple."
"Oh," he said, blushing in turn. "Success then. Congratulations on my success."
Ino laughed, and slung her arms around his neck. They kissed again.
"You got there. It's cute watching you figure things out. Was it hard?"
"Figuring out the bouquet?"
Ino raised an eyebrow.
"Oh, the test," Hazō said. "Honestly, it wasn't anything challenging. It's just…" he gestured at his head.
"More headaches?" Ino asked sympathetically.
"Yeah," Hazō said.
She pulled away from him and rested her hands on the outsides of his shoulders, looking up into his eyes.
"I'm worried about that, Hazō. There are parts of the mind that are dangerous, and certain thoughts that can hurt you, but they're not supposed to hurt you physically. Forcing yourself to relive old traumas sounds bad enough, but having those memories somehow contain… some new information that's still useful to you, and also some quality that gives you a lasting, physical headache for days? That sounds dangerous. Like, really dangerous."
Hazō shook his head. Gently, so the headache wouldn't flare up. "It's fine. I know how to handle it. I can keep myself from slipping in too deep, and then it's not dangerous."
Ino looked at him doubtfully for several seconds. She sighed. "Sure. I trust your judgment. Still, if you turn yourself into a vegetable because you wanted to finish a sealing project just a little bit faster… I'll be very sad. So don't do that."
"Yes ma'am," Hazō said, giving Ino a kiss that she accepted only somewhat reluctantly. She stepped away from him and finally took off her coat, shaking off the snow that had stuck onto it from the slow, steady flurry outside and hanging it up on one of the hooks on the door.
"So, Ino, what's been on your mind?"
"The investigation," Ino said.
"Oh."
Once she'd unlaced her shoes and kicked them off by the door, Ino walked deeper into the main house, towards Hazō's room. He'd already taken care to deactivate all the traps before she came, so he followed behind her.
"I'm just… frustrated," Ino said with a sigh, flopping down onto the low couch next to the hibachi Hazō had lit in the center of the room. She extended both arms to Hazō and repeatedly opened and closed her hands in grabby motions, making it clear to him that she wanted him to sit down and cuddle. Hazō obliged.
"Shika thinks we've found everything there is to find and that more effort is wasted, but I can't help but feel like we missed something. I know I'm biased, but things don't add up. Sure, we've done one day in-and-out assassinations or kidnap jobs before. That's something you almost always need information to do. As best as Canvass could tell, Rock's team moved out soon after Akane left, so they must have been waiting on the border. Fine, whatever. That's also a pattern that we've seen before, and they could have dropped a team off in Iron on their way to the Exams. Still, the team would have needed information to know that a viable target was within their strike zone. They needed it to move out at the right time and head to the right general area.
"So if they needed information, where are the fucking informants, Hazō? I interrogated every one of the Tower's ninja staff. Unless they're good enough deep cover operatives to not let a single thing slip under six hours of interrogation with one of Leaf's best, not one of them is the informant! And I doubt any of them is a deep-cover operative like that because every single one of them is a Leaf ninja that ended up in their position because they took a career-ending injury while putting their life on the line for the village.
"Shika interrogated the Tower's civilian staff, but he found nothing there, either – not that any of the civilians should have been close to the mission assignment process. For a bit, I thought one of the civilians might have fled Leaf, but they'd just fallen sick. Everyone's accounted for. I wish," Ino said, clenching her fists as if crushing a rotten apple, "we had anything. I would crack open anyone's brain to get some intel and a lead. Instead, nothing. Sage, I wish I could break open Hagoromo's mind and see what she really thought when she was assigning that mission. But Asuma-sensei is right that she's outwardly showing no tells at all of lying or anything but negligence.
"So what could it have been? Did Rock sneak a bloodline ninja close enough to the Tower to get intel on our mission deployments? The Hyūga are supposed to catch that. Did they invent some new undetectable spying seal, or spying jutsu? We're crazy screwed if so. Or did they somehow slip an informant past us?"
She went limp in his arms for a moment. Hazō stayed silent.
"This is what I'm supposed to be good at," Ino said. "I'm supposed to be able to talk with people and ferret out their secrets. Instead, there's nothing I can do here. It's depressing."
"Sometimes," Hazō said eventually, "there's nothing to find. That doesn't mean there was nothing there. It might just mean that whoever you're playing against covered it up perfectly."
"That's the thing, Hazō. There's no such thing as a perfect cover-up. They clearly thought their attack was pretty sneaky. If it weren't for Canvass, we'd have searched, found nothing, and figured that she'd died to a chakra beast. They tried to cover that up and failed, because we had enough tools to figure it out and we applied them in the right way. I refuse to believe that they have memory editing good enough to fool a Yamanaka. Somewhere, someone in Leaf has information in their head that I could scrape out. But I don't know who it is, and it doesn't look like it's anyone in the Tower. Who in the Sage's name could it be, then?"
"I don't know, Ino."
"I don't know either," Ino said with a sigh. "I'm going to go through all the Tower staff's immediate family and friends, just to see if any of the Tower ninja mentioned Akane's mission to a secondary spy accidentally, but that seems unlikely. If that turns up nothing… I think I'm going to have to just let it go."
Hazō had nothing to say to that. They sat together and listened to the crackling of the hibachi, set against the too-quiet sound of snowfall outside.
"Anyway," Ino said, "I'm tired of letting things go. I'm going to try to make things better, now. Hazō, will you sell me your Goo Bombs?"
"Oh? Right, I told you that I learned them earlier. My best seals aren't nearly as good as Jiraiya's best ones yet, but I think my Goo Bombs have to be pretty close to his. What do you need them for?"
"After you reminded me about them, I thought back to how you used them during the Chūnin Exams. I think they could help keep Yamanaka genin alive. Just one of those bombs could stop an attacking chakra beast or instantly end a fight with an enemy genin. I know it would be a lot of work on your end, but I figured that I needed to try if it had a chance of saving Yamanaka lives. Oh, and don't worry about the Tower trying to buy out the whole supply without giving us any. I'll convince Asuma-sensei to let you trade with me without those bureaucrats playing middleman."
"Interesting," Hazō said. "I'll have to think about it. Seals are our clans' main advantage. Even if the Goo Bomb isn't a clan secret, it's still one of our stronger seals, and I'd need to talk with everyone to make sure that it's something that's okay to sell."
Ino nodded, pressed up against the back of his shoulder. "Take your time. It's just… something that I needed to ask about. I don't want to guilt you by saying this, but after all those regrets I had thinking about what I maybe could have done for Akane, I want to spend more time focusing on the lives I can still save."
"I get that," Hazō said. "Actually, Mari was talking earlier about a new intervention the Ministry is trying out to save civilian lives out in the boonies of Fire. See, even though the harvests have been great this year, the chakra beast attacks have also been much worse than average…"
I wrote this scene for Chapter 600, but decided it didn't fit with the chapter's rapidly cycling viewpoints, so I cut it. I had intended to make it a Patreon exclusive to drive subscriptions, but then I ended up writing the Hidan plan. And then I was too slow on writing that. So, the next chapter will (hopefully) be out tomorrow, and this little scene should tide you all over in the meantime.
Hidan threw a fistful of dango into a mouth that already contained two of them, making his cheeks puff out like a chipmunk's. "Fo, Ha'o, wha' ca'n we 'oo f' you?"
Thoughts raced through Hazō's mind. He knew almost nothing about Kakuzu, but Hidan was a well-known psychopathic serial killer with no self-control. If he didn't want to create a new disaster, he'd need to tread carefully. Still, Hidan's visit brought opportunities he could only have wished for. Finding Akane's killers was one thing, but after so recently earning Ami's disapproval, he suddenly had an opportunity to distract Akatsuki from the O'uzu rift, which would improve his odds of getting Akane back.
He needed to curry favor and make sure they wouldn't turn on Leaf. Luckily, as a sealmaster, Hazō was always prepared.
Hazō leaned forward slightly in his chair as he reached into the folds of his shirt. He held it open just long enough to let Hidan see the amulet bearing Jashin's symbol that rested on Hazō's chest (he'd put it on in the mad dash to the Tower), then withdrew a seal.
"Could I interest you gentlemen in some peppermint tea?" Hazō's chakra pulsed, then a tray laden with a steaming pot and six cups popped into his hands.
Kakuzu laughed abruptly, cold and harsh, and Hidan shot him a glare.
"Hey!" Hidan said, taking the pot and a cup. "I think he's precious. Look, kid, you ain't gonna be the first to try to win me over with…"
Hidan's nostrils flared as he poured himself a cup and the aroma filled the room. Peppermint had a powerful scent, easily overpowering the various snacks laid out on the table, but the tea's brewer had known how to work it well. Hazō sent a quiet thanks to Gaku as Hidan raised the cup to just below his lips, inhaling deeply, then suddenly knocked the whole thing back. Gaku had found an ancient and wizened Motoyoshi tea master to brew this particular pot, evening out the peppermint's edge and exaggerating its crisp, herbal quality, while complementing its light sweetness with just the barest bit of honey. The old woman had apparently even spent half an hour gently massaging the poisoned quills out of the peppermint leaves so that the tea wouldn't need to be strained.
"Ah, never mind. You're not the first to try, but you're the first to succeed," Hidan said. With a sweep of his arm, he knocked the table's existing tea set to the floor. Porcelain shattered and steaming liquid sprayed over the floorboards, but Hidan ignored it as he grabbed Hazō's tea set and quickly poured two cups of peppermint tea. He offered them to Hazō and Asuma.
Hazō took his and Asuma joined him with barely a moment of hesitation.
"None for you, sir?" Hazō asked the mysterious, half-masked killer sitting next to Hidan.
Hidan laughed. "He ain't human enough for that, kid. Enjoy what you got while you got it, you know?" He poured himself a second cup and savored the aroma again. "Damn, is this what money can buy in the big cities? Maybe you're right that cash is king, Kakuzu."
Kakuzu said nothing. His eyes flicked to Hidan for a second, then he continued to stare at Hazō. Hazō didn't feel the man's killing intent, but something about his eerie green gaze still set Hazō's skin crawling.
"Ah, that's the good stuff," Hidan said, finishing his second cup and starting on a third. "Gotta make sure to put it to good use. I oughtta visit you more often if you'll treat me like this."
Hazō shrugged, forcing himself to be casual. "The duties of a host are inescapable. Sadly, I can't exactly invite you over – you say I never write, but where am I supposed to write to?"
Hidan chuckled. "Heh, fair enough. I stay on the move, while it's not like you're goin' anywhere fun. Wait!" he said, snapping a hand out to point a finger at Hazō's chest. Hazō flinched.
"You can totally write! Just send your letter off to Rain and I'm sure Konan or someone'll get it to me. Oh, you'll have to find some way to stand out from all the fanmail – putting your name on the outside should be enough, but maybe put Lord Jashin's symbol on it too. Make it clear that this is official communication and all, right?"
Take it in stride, Hazō told himself. "Not the most convenient method, but it'll do."
Hidan raised an eyebrow. "Worried about censors? Don't worry about it, we can hash out some other way." Hazō suppressed a wince but didn't look at Asuma. "Anyway, kid, you got the message to Rain, and you got my attention. What's the deal?"
Hazō swallowed. He'd given this speech enough times now that he knew he wouldn't choke on it. The hardest part had been telling Kenta and Yuri. "Around a month ago now, Gōketsu Akane and her genin team were ambushed and killed by an enemy ninja team in the Land of Fire. The enemy team exfiltrated to the north, likely passing into Iron, Waterfall, or Rice. This seems like a blatant AMITY violation targeting Hidden Leaf. I want to make her killers pay – and I want to make sure that the violation gets punished so that we can have the peace she would have wanted."
Hidan's face fell as he spoke. "Aw, kid, I'm sorry to hear that. She was your girlfriend, right?"
Hazō nodded. Hidan rapped his knuckles against the wood of Asuma's desk, still looking concerned. "Damn. That's real rough. I remember her from O'uzu. Gave her the Spirit's Trial. Lord Jashin liked her. I dunno what to say. I think anyone'd want the pieces-o'-shit that did that dead. That's somethin' we can do, right?"
"Investigating violations of the AMITY accords is explicitly within our remit, yes," Kakuzu said. "However, after the first three investigations pointed us at the wind in the hope that we'd raze an enemy's village, we've decided that we will continue charging our usual rates."
Hidan waved a hand. "Look, there's some people out there that need a good slaughterin'. We gotta charge for that?"
"Focus, Hidan. We will likely be 'slaughtering' other AMITY members if things are as the child says. You still cannot kill ninja from AMITY countries for fun. If we are to investigate this, we do it with Leaf's explicit endorsement."
"The people that killed Akane need to die. And it's important that AMITY is preserved." Hazō said firmly. He reached for a seal carrying a small vial of Akane's blood. "I have a sample of her blood. Can you find her?"
Hidan smirked. "You got blood? That'll help. Don't worry about it, kid. If she's anywhere on this Path, we'll find her and massacre her killers."
"Well, if you find them, we need one alive to determine their employer and to confirm the AMITY violation," Hazō said. Though… even with the clan's expected windfall in the Hyūga gem deal, he still didn't know whether he'd have the money to pay a full team of S-rank ninja for a mission of unknown duration. "Lord Hokage?"
To his credit, Asuma barely grimaced at Hazō's request. "I agree. Given that means, motive, and miscellaneous evidence point towards this being Hidden Rock's revenge on a war hero that wronged them, Lord Gōketsu and I will fund your investigation. Identifying the culprit is critical to Leaf's security."
"So, that's it?" Hidan said. "You'll hire us to slaughter Akane's killers?"
Asuma nodded.
"We're done with business here? Nothin' more for us to discuss?"
"We still need to finish negotiating the details of the contract, Hidan," Kakuzu said impatiently.
"You can figure that shit out," Hidan said, standing up and flicking his wrist to pull his scythe into his hands. "If I'm done with business here, that means I'm now a tourist!"
"Hidan," Kakuzu said. "We are traveling together for a reason. You will sit down and wait while we decide the agreement before you run off on some imbecilic 'tourism'."
"Fuck that, I did my part. You fiddle with the numbers and the ryō. C'mon, kid," he said, gesturing at Hazō to follow. "We gotta lotta catchin' up to do."
Hazō stood, looking hesitantly between the neutral-faced Asuma, Hidan's retreating back, and the clearly pissed-off Kakuzu. After a moment's consideration, he bowed to Asuma.
"Lord Hokage."
Better stick with Hidan and keep him from slaughtering anyone in Leaf, rather than remain in the room with an angry S-ranker who might blame him for Hidan's irreverence.
He left the meeting room, following Hidan's jaunty stride.
o-o-o
"Alright, kid," Hidan said as he exited the Tower's main entrance with his scythe slung over his shoulder. "Never been a tourist before. Where are we headed?"
"There's an art exhibit-"
"Boring."
"A winter festival with ice sculptures-"
"Lame."
Hazō searched his mind. "There's a good ramen shop near here?"
"That'll do," Hidan said, surveying the square around the Tower. "Always a good thing to keep in mind: pleasures of the flesh never get old. Say, I heard you were makin' some strides towards real equality in this town. Lord Jashin likes that. He thinks everyone's equal, man or woman, ninja or civilian. Can I buy men in this town's whorehouses yet?"
"I… I'm afraid I don't know."
"Shame," Hidan said. "Sounds like you ain't usin' your money well. Don't worry, I'll check."
Dozens of ninja had gathered around the square and on the rooftops, glaring at Hidan but keeping their distance. Hidan pulled the scythe that had killed an unknown number of their brothers and sisters off of his shoulder to point.
"How about we head that'a way for your first tourist idea?"
"...the ramen shop is on the other side of the square."
"Ah, whatever. We'll wander around a little and you can tell me what you've been doin' to spread the gospel as Lord Jashin's own chosen."
o-o-o
"No temple!? No massacres!? Sage's blood, you don't even have a convert? What have you been doing these past two years?"
"You swear by the Sage?" Hazō asked mildly. Hidan was… a surprisingly good conversationalist. He let Hazō push back against his questions and control the flow of conversation here and there. With the bulk of his recent S-ranker exposure coming from Orochimaru, it was a disturbingly pleasant change of pace.
"Lord Jashin's the only one that made the bearded bastard bleed," Hidan said with a wink. "Gotta commemorate great feats, y'know? None of the others got a scratch on the shit. Now, answer the question. Have you managed to kill a single person since I was last here?"
Hazō racked his brain. "I've killed lots of chakra beasts," he said. "And I ripped the lungs out of a Hyena."
Hidan shook his head morosely. "They don't count. If it can't suffer, it ain't worth puttin' out of its misery, y'know?"
"I'm pretty sure the Hyena could suffer," Hazō said. "Creatures on the Seventh Path have intelligence."
Hidan cocked his head. "Huh. I don't know whether that counts. Interestin' bit of theology, if it's smart but it ain't human. Killed, right? Not popped into smoke?"
Hazō nodded, trying his best to lean into the anger he felt at the Hyenas killing his allies when they were just trying to get to the Conclave. "Ripped its damn lungs out, Hidan. It's dead."
"Well, it don't matter," Hidan said. "I'd bet you're behind on your quota! We gotta patch that up for you. Just to be safe, kill humans." As they walked, Hidan was snatching things from stalls and street vendors they passed. He'd paid with fistfuls of coins at first, but eventually Hidan had run out of money and started leaving behind trinkets in exchange for the festival foodstuffs he took.
"I've killed people indirectly," Hazō said, crossing his arms and trying to keep any inner nausea from leaking out. "I've given orders. And my seals have killed plenty of people."
"Doesn't count, kid," Hidan said. "Unless it's your hand, blade, or ninjutsu doin' the killin'-"
"I use seals to fight," Hazō said. "They can reduce bodies to red mist. Does that count?"
"You're the one usin' the seals? Then sure, that counts. Anything else ain't gonna help you balance your tally. That's all there is to it, but it helps to say or think 'for Jashin!' before ya do it, and also to make the symbol." He quickly scratched out the symbol of a triangle in a circle with one sandal on the dirt road.
"What do you mean, balance my tally?"
"Lord Jashin's all about balance!" Hidan said, gesturing wildly with his scythe and cutting three rough slashes into the wall of an adjacent house. All the local civilians had been evacuated by ninja moving to clear the way before the international terrorist, but Hazō still made a mental note to pay for the repairs. "Life and death. Gluttony and starvation. Hot and cold. Forest and desert. You do something for Lord Jashin, and he does something for you. The weight of your sins punishes you in the end, the value of your actions rewards you. S'how you can tell he's real, and all this Will of Fire bullshit's fake. Better a god that rewards you in this life than an abstract thingamajiggy that maybe rewards you in the next one, right?"
"Hidan, you didn't exactly give me any scripture to go by. Lord Jashin may be guiding me, but I don't know what I should be doing to worship or spread the message."
"There's two things you gotta do," Hidan said. "One: slaughter people in his name. No chakra beasts, no clones, no wishy-washy 'oh but I technically was responsible for his death if you look at it this way'. Actual, real slaughter. Two: convince other people to do the same. It's easy enough because people like a god that gives back. Build a temple, give some sermons, sacrifice a couple virgins, and they come flockin' in."
"So Jashin distributes his blessings to those that serve him?"
Hidan nodded. "Yeah. If you're really Lord Jashin's chosen, I bet he's just itchin' to grant you his favors, but if you're not putting any money on your tab, how's he gonna pay for your drinks? Have you had a dream?"
"A dream?"
"Yeah, a dream," Hidan said. "Usually they'll be weird and cryptic, but easy to remember. Like a peaceful day under the sunshine and a blood-red moon, or a world of floatin' islands in endless darkness connected only by bridges of bone, or people poppin' into existence from the end of your scythe and agin' backwards until they're babies again. Lord Jashin never does all the work for ya, you see? You gotta figure out what it means on your own. You clearly ain't seen one."
"Seems like an awful lot of trouble," Hazō said. "He doesn't just tell you what he wants?"
"He doesn't," Hidan said, suddenly dead serious. "If you meet someone claiming to hear the voice of a god in their head, you better kill them even more than usual. They cut out Lord Jashin's tongue. You'll never hear him speak."
"Who is 'they'?" Hazō asked. "For that matter, if it's not rude to ask, what is Lord Jashin, metaphysically speaking?"
Hidan batted a hand. "Practical matters before theology, kid. You are way behind on your duties as Leaf's High Priest. You gotta focus on the important stuff – namely, buildin' a temple, gettin' some acolytes, and, most importantly, makin' your quota. Once you get up to scratch on the basics, we can get into the advanced shit. Hey you!" he said, pointing the scythe at one of the ninja watching their stroll from a rooftop. "Wanna join Hazō's cult of Jashin?"
The ninja bolted as soon as Hidan had pointed, forcing the mad S-ranker to yell out the question at the ninja's back.
Hidan scoffed. "Only religion in this town that comes with real perks, and the job description of a ninja basically means you'll be earnin' the Lord's favor without trying. Some people are real boneheads. Meant more for receiving Lord Jashin's most holy sacrament than delivering it, if you know what I mean."
Hazō's Jashinist affiliation would be all over town within the hour, no doubt. And Hidan might actually make him build a temple. Mari would have the worst headache of her life trying to salvage the clan's reputation after this.
o-o-o
"Hey, see that girl?" Hidan said. Hazō turned and saw a young chūnin, clearly KEI by the lack of any patch or colors to signal her affiliation. She was standing at a healthy distance on a rooftop away from the ramen stand. As Hazō looked, Hidan slurped down a clump of noodles.
"I think I killed her brother. Kisame ripped his mask and a lil' chunk of face off before I got to him, but through the blood, I remember seein' the same shape of nose and weird greenish hair. He wasn't half-bad. Got me right here," he said, slapping the side of his belly. "Maybe she'll attack me and I'll get to finish off the family."
"I don't think she's suicidal," Hazō said carefully.
"More's the shame. And it is a shame, isn't it? All these people," he said gesturing around to the now-empty ramen shop and the nearly deserted streets around it, "live their lives in misery. The civilians hate the ninja, but they don't have the power to stop the abuse, so they just take it. And the ninja have all the power in the world, but they can't use it without justifications. They gotta tell themselves that usin' power is right, instead of just doin' what they want. Remember the Hokage?"
Hazō nodded.
"He hated my guts! But he got himself bound up in the roles and rules of civilization, so he couldn't even indulge his real desire to spill aforementioned guts all over the floor. I mean, I killed his friends, how much more killable do I gotta be before he gets the balls to try? That girl too. She's got the anger, but she represses it instead of being honest with herself and trying to tear me apart. They're all lying to themselves, Hazō. That's why you gotta be honest and actually rip out people's viscera when you feel the desire in your heart. Got it?"
"You act like you always slaughter anyone you want to, Hidan," Hazō said, crossing his arms. "You were so enthusiastic about murdering your way through Rock's warhawks when we last met, but the warhawks survived and we still had a war that slowed down progress on Uplift."
"Ah, those guys!" Hidan said. "I snuck into Rock a few times for some killing. Got a couple hundred the first time. Only a few dozen the second. Then the numbers were lower."
"A couple hundred warhawks?" Hazō asked, incredulously.
"Just about," Hidan said. "I mean, they all hated Leaf, and they tried to kill me when they didn't even know me! Bet they would'a gone to war with you too. And before you ask why I didn't start with the Tsuchikage, you tell me how you get to the middle of a dumpling without biting into the dough? And hey, not everyone in Akatsuki's had the chance to kill a Kage. Figured I'd savor the build-up."
"So what happened?" Hazō asked.
Hidan shrugged as he slurped at the noodle broth. "Killed a bunch. They got better at defending. Figured I'd wear 'em down over time 'cuz they'd have nothing to actually kill me. Turns out the Dust Release didn't end with Ōnoki, so then I had to be real careful. Eventually I wasn't makin' any progress so I invited the others. Deidara didn't want to help my hobby project, Itachi wasn't enticed by the nostalgia of slaughterin' another big happy family, and Sasori said he was busy, so I threw in the towel. War was brewin' by that point anyway, so I figured Lord Jashin finally put his finger on the scales to get you whatever you wanted. You got what you wanted, right? I figure this whole AMITY thing is right up your alley – gets you the room to do your whole Uplift schtick.
"Anyway, speaking of which, let's go check on that schtick!" Hidan said, swinging out of the stool and bouncing out into the street. "Plus, I'm gettin' sick of everyone watchin' and listenin' in on us, and that counts, you, ANBU. Any of you still watchin' us out in the wilds'll get a high-speed theology lesson."
Hazō didn't bother looking around for ANBU. Instead, he said, "I can't exactly leave the village right now. I'd need an official mission."
"S-rank escort mission," Hidan said, pointing his thumb at his chest. "'Cuz you're escortin' an S-ranker. Now c'mon."
Hazō followed in Hidan's footsteps as the madman took to Leaf's rooftops headed east.
"Speaking of which," Hazō said, "did you hear about the S-rank mission I was recently assigned?"
o-o-o
"That's some crazy shit," Hidan said as they scaled Leaf's outermost wall. "Dragons, huh? Makes me wish I was a summoner so I could go out there and sacrifice one to Lord Jashin. Maybe I'll massacre a few towns extra and pray real hard so the Lord can point me to a scroll."
"Well, there's still something Akatsuki can do there," Hazō said. "The Great Seal is enormously complex, and we could use sealmasters to help figure it out to reseal the Dragons. And hey, there was that big machine at Nagi Island. Think that could be related?"
Hidan laughed. "Sasori's been kickin' himself that we didn't retrieve that shit. We kinda got our asses whooped and wanted to get outta there quickly, but we didn't think to grab the Seedling. It would'a been hard to move, I guess."
"The Seedling?"
Hidan waved a hand. "Hey, don't ask me. Nagato made it, and that's what he called it. I did my part, and tending to the Seedling was his. That and actually castin' the ritual. So Leaf wasn't the one that got it?"
Hazō shook his head.
"Great, it was probably Mist then. We went lookin' but never found a sign of it. We'll shake 'em down more thoroughly now that we have the chance. Maybe thinkin' 'bout that and the Great Seal will let Sasori chill from the grind for a bit."
Hazō tucked away the confirmation that Sasori was working on a big project. "If not on the sealing end, there's the Conclave – having your summoners show up there would help us get the Bosses to actually do something useful for once."
Hidan leaped off of the wall and landed hard in the forest eighty feet below. Hazō jumped afterwards, breaking his fall in steps on a tree's branches, and his knees still ached by the time he reached the ground. Hidan didn't stop to recover though, and started leaping through the trees to the northeast.
"Heh, I can see that. People are really idiots, sometimes. You gotta beef up so you can put the fear of Lord Jashin in them. It's damn hard to get things done otherwise. Still, I think we're doin' somethin' there. That Mori girl talked to sharkboy and the lil' twink at AMITY, I think. They're makin' plans."
"I heard that Ami and Itachi got into an argument of some sort," Hazō said. "What was the deal with that?"
Hidan shrugged. "I dunno. I stay away from that shit. Honestly, probably reminded Itachi why he stays away from politics too. Hey, you!" he said, suddenly turning. "Stop fuckin' followin' us or we'll sacrifice 'you to Lord Jashin."
Hazō turned, but saw only empty forest.
"By the power vested in me by Lord Jashin and Akatsuki and AMITY and all the other bullshit, I sentence you to death in five, four, three, two- fuckin' finally, c'mon kid."
Hazō saw only trees and bare branches moving slightly in the cold winter's wind.
"C'mon, Hazō," Hidan said insistently from the next tree over. "Places to be, away from prying ears, eyes, 'n fingers. Let's go."
o-o-o
"Not bad, not bad," Hidan said, strolling around the four square MaRI walls that enclosed the small settlement north of Leaf. The walls had a pair of natural breaks for the river running through the village, both of which had thick portcullises to prevent beasts from getting in. Both sides of the river had been terraced into patches of dense rice paddies, while thirty or so small huts occupied the area within the walls farthest from the river. In all, it seemed like a small, two-day project in the Ministry's ongoing quest to wall up all of Fire's farming towns.
"Honestly, I had intended to talk with Kakuzu about this work," Hazō said. "I've only heard a little bit about him, but I thought he would appreciate the details on how to uplift civilization. The walls are making a massive difference, and we're about to start construction of massive trade roads between major cities."
Hidan snorted. "Yeah, that does sound like his thing. He's probably negotiated the Hokage out of his treasury and gotten all the information we need to find Akane by now. I bet he'll check out your Uplift shit till we get back. He's been interested in the Missionary and the Future Footwork or whatever."
"Well, here you go," Hazō said. "Concrete progress towards Uplift. Between this and chakra beast exterminations all over Fire Country, we're projecting a massive boom in births. That'll make Jashin happy, right?"
Hidan grinned. "Lord Jashin is very pleased with you," he said. "You've done such a great job of preparing all these sacrifices."
"Sacrifices?" Hazō asked as his blood ran cold. "No, Hidan. The point of improving their living conditions is so that they live longer, have more and healthier children. There are more people in the long run, so more births and more deaths. That's what Jashin wants, right?"
"Yeah, yeah," Hidan said. The paddies were barren in the winter cold, meaning that only now did the peasants notice the pair of ninja strolling on the village's outer wall. Most of the civilians that had noticed hid away in their homes, but a couple people had already come out of the village to bow to the passing ninja. "That's the plan, and it's workin' out well. I ain't complainin' about how things are goin'. Nah, the issue is that you've been slacking on satisfyin' sacraments. If you want to be Lord Jashin's proper chosen, you're gonna have to get your sacrifice numbers up. Go ahead and kill 'em. Remember what I taught you."
"I… I don't want to. Didn't you say you hated how people wanted to kill you but held themselves back? I'm not holding myself back, Hidan. I don't want to do this."
"You don't want to be Lord Jashin's chosen?" For the first time, Hazō heard danger in Hidan's voice. "You think he picked wrong?"
The civilians were still bowing to the two ninja, paused on the walls overlooking the village. This close to Leaf, the peasants would be used to ninja presence on extermination missions. They probably thought they were Leaf ninja, here for a till-n-fill or some administrative business.
"I don't want to kill these people."
Hidan sighed, pulling his scythe off his shoulders and giving it a couple test swings. "Look, kid. Lord Jashin likes your Uplift idea. He likes you a lot, and wants to make Uplift happen. Makes sense he'd choose you for that – it ain't up my alley. But unless you give him the room to put his finger on the scales, he ain't gonna help you out. I'm sure he's fine with you doin' all the work, but you're gonna need guidance and strength to get it done. Unless you're fool enough to renounce Lord Jashin's blessing.
"Remember Hazō, the greatest sin is mercy, and these peasants don't matter. You want Lord Jashin to give you a hand? Lord Jashin helps those who help themselves.
"So," Hidan said, gesturing broadly with his scythe to the growing population of the town that was coming out of their houses and bowing to the two ninja atop the walls that penned them in. "Help yourself."
XP Award: 1 - 1 (brevity) (The plan covered a couple hours)
Vote time! What to do now?
Voting ends on
. This means that the vote ends 24 hours later than normal.
"Remember Hazō, the greatest sin is mercy, and these peasants don't matter. You want Lord Jashin to give you a hand? Lord Jashin helps those who help themselves.
"So," Hidan said, gesturing broadly with his scythe to the growing population of the town that was coming out of their houses and bowing to the two ninja atop the walls that penned them in. "Help yourself." Hazō looked out across the civilian village below. The village with the wall that ninja had, on his albeit indirect orders, built with the jutsu that a member of his clan had paid to have invented. The village with the people who were better fed because ninja had, in accordance with an idea that Hazō had inspired in the patriarch of his clan, used jutsu and seals to irrigate fields, remove stumps, and turn over soil in order to eliminate dangerous microlife and ease plowing. And so very much more. The people here were better-fed than they had been a year ago, they walked with their heads higher, and they didn't flinch when ninja came by.
Which, in this particular moment, was a serious problem, because the villagers were not running away.
Well, actually, it didn't really matter. They wouldn't escape Hidan even if they tried and as long as they didn't trigger his predator instincts by acting like prey there was still a possibility that Hazō could turn this around.
How to do that? Hidan wasn't going to accept a bargain or pleas for mercy. Theological arguments were the only way to get through to him, but what? Hidan was the expert on Jashin; Hazō couldn't hope to know the arguments better than the older ninja did. And whatever arguments he made, he had to mean them. Hidan would pick up on a lie or a rationalization instantly and all possibility of discussion would end. Hazō would need to murder all the civilians or die himself, and if he chose death then Hidan would still murder the villagers because that was what he did.
What possible argument could Hazō make that he believed and would be persuasive??? There was nothing, he couldn't— This wasn't—
He caught himself as his thoughts cartwheeled out of control, his breathing accelerating and pulse suddenly racing. Calm, said the voice of Mari-sensei. We are exhaling stress and panic. We are inhaling calm and relaxation. He breathed, remembering the careful watch she had kept over him as he practiced and the small smile when he managed it correctly.
There still was nothing. Not a trace of an idea.
He briefly considered tapping into his experience of the Out, throwing his mind into that off-kilter and inhuman perspective that allowed him to see behind the Paint and be such a brilliant sealmaster. Anything to get his mind out of its current useless rut.
No. The Out was useful when dealing with seals and actively harmful when attempting communication with other humans about delicate social matters. Yes, Hazō had gotten very lucky, once, when the Out had made him so disconnected that he had mocked Itachi instead of being afraid of him. Yes, he had walked out of that encounter alive and successful, but only through incredible luck. He hadn't known what he was saying and had driven Itachi into a murderous rage, the consequences of which he only survived because he amused Hidan. If Hazō tried the same trick again then he would be speaking to and probably angering Hidan, and there was no other demigod around to save him. No, the Out would never be useful for anything aside from sealing.
He needed a theological argument. What did he know about Jashin that he could exploit...? A god of death who demanded sacrifice. Dichotomously, a god of lust who demanded sex. A god of balance. A god of conviction who hated mealy-mouthed arguments and rationalizations. He would help those who served him. Serving him required murder. Murder of sapients. His power was real and highly visible in the way Hidan had survived the Battle on the Beach, and in the way the dice had slanted themselves to Hazō's will during the 'game' at Bakuchioka when Hidan had made Hazō gamble for the lives of the civilians.
Could Hazō insist on another dice game? Claim that he wanted to commune with Jashin in order to get his opinion? Maybe he could...wait. God of conviction. God of balance. God of dichotomous and opposed purposes.
Hazō turned to face Hidan. "No."
Hidan leaned on his scythe and raised an eyebrow. "I think I might have misheard you there, boy. Care to say again?"
"I said no, I'm not going to kill these people. It's not my role."
"Your role is whatever Lord Jashin says it is."
"Exactly," Hazō said, nodding. "And my role is to be the balance to yours. You said it yourself: Lord Jashin is a god of balance. He demands death, and he demands birth. You have only represented his Death aspect—or, at least, you have given far more attention to his Death aspect than his Birth aspect. I hadn't realized it until this very moment, but that's why he helped me beat you at Bakuchioka: I am to be your equal and opposite. You are Death, and you reap souls for him. I am Birth, and I grow humanity's numbers that there will be more souls for you to reap." Crap, Hidan wasn't buying it and was opening his mouth to interrupt.
"Obviously it's not that simple," Hazō said, raising a hand preemptively. "This is an impure world and nothing in it is only one thing. He wants both of us to dabble in both roles but focus on one. I am to make sacrifice and cause Death, sometimes. You are to support the cause of Birth, sometimes. I kill those who interfere in my domain, you raise up those who support yours." Yes, this was a good line to argue. Hidan looked uncertain.
"Think, Hidan," Hazō said, extending a hand in invitation. "You are his High Priest. You have murdered half a continent in his name. You have made sacrifice to him every day for years—perhaps decades. He favors you above all others...except when we met at Bakuchioka. Why would Lord Jashin help a young and untried boy defeat his honored and faithful champion? He was sending us a message, and I didn't understand it until this very moment."
"He was...approving you," Hidan said slowly.
Hazō nodded. "Yes. He made me win, allowed my aspect of Birth to take the day. But! It wasn't completely one-sided. He still wanted you to sacrifice some of the villagers. Had I won every roll, that would have meant that he was turning away from you, but he wasn't! All he was doing was telling you to listen to me, that we each had our roles to play. That he needed balance in his representation here in the world."
Hidan digested that. "We ended up killing a third of the people there and saving two-thirds. I guess he's sayin' you should kill half as many as I do."
Hazō shook his head quickly. "No, I don't think it was that precise. You said it yourself: Lord Jashin doesn't want to do all the work for us. He points the way and leaves us to figure out the details on our own. If he told us exactly what the proportions should be then we would just be puppets, not servants. If he wanted us to be puppets then he would simply make us puppets. The fact that we aren't means that he doesn't value puppets."
Hidan snorted. "Don't go tellin' Sasori that. He'll pout."
"Uh, sure? Whatever. Anyway, point is: you and I are both servants of Jashin—Lord Jashin—but we represent different aspects of him. My aspect is Birth, and I've been doing it. I've been protecting the civilians of Fire and raising up their numbers so that there will be more and more births. These people here, in this village? They are some of the ones that I have been specifically raising up. Killing them would be against my aspect and therefore against what Lord Jashin wants from me as I understand it."
"And you think you understand Lord Jashin better than I do, do you?"
"Yes, I do. I didn't until you showed me the way, and on an average day you would know him better than I would. Right here, right now? Yes, I think I know what he wants. I could feel him in my heart, nudging me towards this conclusion." He took a breath and stood straight. "I'm not going to kill these people, Hidan. It's not what Lord Jashin wants of me and it wouldn't please him. He wants me to kill people who work against his aspect of Birth."
Hidan chewed on those words for far too long, staring Hazō in the eyes the whole time.
Hidan accepts the argument. Will he decide to kill the village himself? On a 40 or below he will leave them be.
1d100: 60
Nope.
"A'right," he said at last. "We'll find some other folks for you to kill so you can get your quota in. Kakuzu and I saw some bandit sign on the way to Leaf, shouldn't take more than two, three hours to track 'em down."
Hazō let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "Great. Point the way."
Hidan chinned towards the woods. "That way, just off the western road. They jumped a merchant or somethin'. Killed him, dumped the body in the woods. They did their best to clean up but there were still a few spots of blood on the road and a couple of broken branches leading into the trees. They'll be near the road so they don't have to commute too far to find their prey—civilian near, not ninja near. They'll be near water, and they'll have made something of a path to the road." He shook his head in disgust. "You'd think they'd be careful, vary their approach to the road so the ground don't get worn. Sometimes they do, for a while, but eventually some dumbass can't be bothered and they end up leavin' an obvious path."
"Easier for us," Hazō said. "Let's go." He turned in the direction Hidan had indicated.
"Gotta do one thing first," Hidan said, blurring away before a suddenly-panicking Hazō could catch his arm.
Hazō closed his eyes, fists balled in pain and fury as the screams of the villagers echoed in his ears. He had at least not had to kill these people himself, but that was extremely cold comfort indeed.
XP AWARD: 5
Brevity XP: 0
It is now about 10pm. Hazō and Hidan spent the day tracking down a group of bandits. Once found, Hazō was required to kill all eleven of them (eight men, three women) while Hidan watched. Hidan did not allow him to use seals on this occasion; he already granted that they probably count, but for this remedial sacrificing session he wanted to be 100% sure that the sacrifices would be acceptable to Lord Jashin. Hazō got seven of the bandits (five men, two women) in his first pass and then had to chase the other four through the woods when they scattered.
The only good news was that there was plenty of evidence in the camp that these people were bandits who had been killing, robbing, and doing other horrible things for a long time. Hazō is feeling a little bit uncomfortable about literally having blood on his hands but is mostly okay with it. After all, they were bad people.
Right? They were bad people, so killing them is okay?
You are now home in the Gōketsu estate. Hidan and Kakuzu are somewhere else but they did say they would be sticking around for a couple days, so expect to have more contact with them.
The moon was a hazy waxing gibbous, lurking behind intermittent clouds. Its glow cast a ghostly veil over the rough granite of the new Gōketsu Estate, which was quiet and still at this time of night. Not all its residents were slumbering, Noburi noted. One of the other Gōketsu ninja (tonight was Jin's shift, maybe?) would be keeping a watchful eye on their people, in case any important situations arose (as such situations often did when one was a member of a Clan of Sealmasters.) Besides that, young lovers occasionally snuck out, deluding themselves into thinking they wouldn't be noticed by someone trained to snap to attention at the slightest crinkle of a leaf, but they were often given their space nonetheless. And of course, the new Gōketsu clinic was always staffed, even if just by civilians who could send for Noburi when needed. It was nice to feel needed, despite the occasionally grisly circumstances that lead to his presence being required. But neither Leaf General nor the Gōketsu clinic needed him at this hour. He had another important role to play in the family.
The others had tittered about, upon Hazō's return. Ino came by, but he waved her off after reassuring her he was fine. Mari was clearly trying not to show how badly she was ricocheting between wanting to help and doubting if her "help" would be healthy. Yuno didn't even understand what was wrong. Kagome was once again locked up in his workstation, once he was sure everyone was still alive. Akane- oh, right. Kei was dealing with some burden of her own that Noburi still hadn't been told about. It seemed they all carried more of those these days.
Which left Noburi.
Hazō faced the moon, sitting on the roof of Akane's seal bank slash shrine, one of the only buildings on their estate that actually looked halfway decent, though the estate was soon due for an overhaul. In spite of, or perhaps because of the clan's income changing like the seasons, it seemed that fortune had favored them again. Noburi had been meaning to ask what harebrained scheme Hazō pulled to manage the sudden windfall this time, and what harebrained scheme he was expecting to ruin it all again, but now didn't seem like the time. With a deft hop, he landed beside Hazō, without a whisper of a splash coming from his barrel. He'd like to see cousin Kiri manage that.
"'Sup bro," he said evenly. Might as well ease into things first.
"Noburi, do you think I'm a good person?" Hazō asked, without looking at him. So much for easing into things.
"Of course I do. With the number of lives you've saved with your ideas and projects, I'd say only Tsunade gives you a run for your money-"
Hazō gave a frustrated huff, cutting him off. "Stop. Just… think about it for ten seconds? And give me your honest answer. Not 'do I do good things.' Am I a good person?"
Noburi winced at the note of desperation but did as he was asked, taking ten seconds to consider the question. Did he think Hazō was a good person, examining him as objectively as he was able to?
After a pause, Noburi carefully began to construct his response. "I think… that you try. You see suffering in others and you want it to stop. You feel remorse for your part in the suffering of others. You… you seek to improve where you've slipped up…" he trailed off, but picked back up quickly. "What is a good person if not someone that wants to help reduce the pain that other people experience?"
"I agree with that definition. You are a good person, Noburi… It's getting harder and harder to believe that applies to me too." His voice hitched a fraction but he pressed onward. "You said I'm seeking to improve my slip ups, but I'm constantly feeling like I'm trending the wrong way. My attempts to improve the world may have led to as many deaths as lives I've saved. I haven't dared ask Shikamaru to run the numbers on it for fear of the answer." Finally, he looked at Noburi, a hollow look in his eye, one that showed such vacancy in the heart. Noburi didn't realize Hazō had ever experienced something like that. Even when Akane… disappeared, Hazō showed pain, anguish, anger… not defeat. Noburi had seen patients diagnosed with terminal illness look more chipper than Hazō did right now.
Monotone, Hazō asked, "Noburi… have you ever killed someone?"
"You're not exactly helping those Jashinist rumors with questions like that, bro," Noburi joked, but Hazō didn't take the bait.
"You haven't, not directly?"
Noburi sighed. "Not like what you meant. There was, of course, the Sunset Racer." Somehow, it always came back to that damned boat. "There've been surgeries I've performed where… maybe if it had been Tsunade performing it, they'd have lived. My hands aren't delicate enough, precise enough, to do what she does, and I don't have the skills in medical ninjutsu to come back from a catastrophic failure the way she does. I guess… in that regard, I get what you mean. It sucks, to put in all that work into trying to save someone, and ultimately, being the one who dooms them. Maybe they'd have been doomed if I hadn't helped, maybe not. But I tried helping nonetheless, and they were dead by the time I was done. Still, with the way this world is, I'm sure there'll come a day where I'll have to kill someone personally. I can't say I look forward to it, but I think I've made my peace with it, as best as I can. We were raised to do it, after all."
Hazō nodded, absorbing that. "Killing a person changes you, they say. Well, maybe at first. I've directly killed maybe two dozen people by now, more depending on how you count Summons… Just today Hidan had me butcher a dozen bandits to uphold Jashin's Birth aspect or whatever. Do you know what I felt afterwards?"
Noburi shivered, but he suspected he knew the answer. "Nothing."
Hazō nodded. "It was so easy. Like splitting wood for the fireplace. And people look at me like I'm crazy for thinking there's something wrong with that. Why don't any of us feel anything about that? If Jiraiya were sitting on the other side of me, and I asked him if that made me a bad person, he'd laugh in my face. But, you know… if I asked him if he thought he was a good person… I don't think he'd have said yes." Hazō shook his head. "I can feel myself becoming that, a little more, every day. The lives become more abstract, the deaths become easier. This world of Death turns us into more instruments of Death, and everyone learns to love it, or at least do their best not to care." Hazō rubbed the roof of Akane's shrine gently. "This world, this village, and I… we turned her into that too. One of the only people I've ever met who was sane enough to hate that process for what it was, and we put her through it. Showed her that all her ideals and principles were nothing but ash she'd mistaken for her inner Will of Fire. It tore her up and then this world took her away. Even if- even when I- we get her back, I can't… I can't give her that back. It was stolen from her. And it was stolen from me too, I just wasn't as upset about it as her. Not until I realized how precious a thing it was that I'd lost. When I saw how much it had meant to her."
Noburi processed that. No one could deny how the war had changed Akane. Their resident ray of sunshine had become a dreary raincloud looming over them. And yet…
"Hazō… what this world, and I do mean this world, not you, turned her into, it- it sucks. It does, but- fuck, I feel like an ass just for saying it-"
"She wasn't being realistic?" Hazō supplied.
"Pragmatic, maybe. After everything we've accomplished together and will accomplish together, I wouldn't dare tell anyone what can or can't be made real. But still, yeah. As much as I wish that every patient that rolls into the hospital can be saved, I know that's not the case, not yet. And sometimes it's hard not to think that if medicine were more valued, if more medics were mandated by the Tower, if our work was respected enough to be allowed to use Shadow Clone, so many lives wouldn't be lost for no reason."
Hazō scoffed. "That's easy to say when you were the doctor sidelined by the Tower, and not the disease they unleashed on their enemies."
Noburi scowled, gripping Hazō's shoulder. "Look bro, I loved Akane too. She was the older sister I never had. She was put in a lose-lose situation and had to do things she regretted, and that burns me up inside, no theocratic metaphor intended." Despite everything, Hazō smirked at that. Noburi pressed on. "But you're fucking wrong. Her ideals weren't stolen from her, okay? What was stolen was her chance to grow back tougher, to remind our family why we fell in love with her in the first place. What was stolen was her chance to heal, to learn from her mistakes, and to become strong enough and wise enough not to make them again. To become someone who could protect others from needing to make those same choices. And when we get her back, she'll have that chance again. You'll have that chance, too."
"I'm… I'm afraid, Noburi. From what I've been trending towards… I don't know if I'll like who I am by then. I don't know how much of me is going to be left. I don't know if I can stand being what I need to become to do the things I have to."
"Sheesh, you sound like a character right out of Jiraiya's writing."
"I'm serious!"
"I know, that's the worst part about it." Hazō opened his mouth in protest, but Noburi kept going. "And I'm going to tell you what they always need to be told. I believe in you, even if you don't. See? Easy."
Hazō didn't even roll his eyes. That vacancy was still there, though lessened. With little mirth, Hazō said, "Somehow, I don't feel better."
Noburi held up his hands in mock surrender. "Fine, fine, shows how much my support is valued, I guess. Look, Hazō… When we lived in Mist, it was hard to have heroes. Yagura, Zabuza, Terumi Mei, Mori Ryūgamine… it was more like- like having a bunch of scary ghosts that I also sort of respected lurking in the corners of my eyes all the time. And then we were missing-nin, and we bumped into Jiraiya, who we'd been raised to fear and hate and all that, but… he treated us well, treated us mostly fairly, he won me over. He arranged a teacher, got me into medicine. And then he took us in and I got to be a part of that legend up close. And Tsunade, well, it goes without saying. There's few people I admire more than her. Losing that apprenticeship killed me inside. But, well, for all the respect I still hold for them, somewhere in there, they stopped being my heroes."
"Why?"
"One simple reason. They stopped believing. They quit, they settled. Tsunade stopped believing the world could be improved, she resigned herself to making it the least bad she could. Jiraiya may have never believed it in the first place, and- dammit, I know he meant well, but it made my blood boil sometimes how he shut you, us, down on occasion. How he refused to consider that maybe, just maybe, we could play in the big leagues and make a goddamned difference. He became the strongest man in the world with little to show for it. Against all odds… Jiraiya of all people fucking played it safe. And that cynicism just oozed into me a little more every time he expressed it. Except one small thing happened."
He put an arm around Hazō's shoulder.
"You happened. You started to make him believe. You stood your ground and told Lady Tsunade I was worth something as a doctor when she didn't dare take me seriously, then you turned around and had her laughing aloud at Clan Council meetings, as the Gōketsu trapped Leaf's Clans into giving a damn for once. You helped Ami overcome that poisonous cynicism, of being resigned to the world dying and watching it happen, turned her from nothing but a chaos gremlin into… well, a slightly less cynical chaos gremlin, I guess. You killed something the Sage never managed to, to protect a world that wasn't even yours. You created the means to get us citizenship in an enemy village, to get us political power and a path to fix things. Jiraiya and Tsunade stopped being my heroes, because that spot got filled by you."
Hazō blinked in surprise.
"Don't go getting a fat head on me, now. You're still hopeless without the rest of us to rein you in." Now Hazō rolled his eyes. "I don't know what kind of guy you're gonna be when we're all legendary S-Rank badasses. Probably not as suave and handsome as I am, but I'm sure you'll still be pretty cool. Maybe you'll be a little colder, more calculated, I don't know. But there's one thing my hero doesn't get to be, and that's a quitter. We're the Gōketsu, we don't back down. Maybe we retreat, we reassess, we make concessions, but we don't give up on the things that really matter. Ever. We find a way, no matter how long it takes us. For all the pain Akane went through after the war, I believe she still understood that. Maybe that's why it hurt so bad. Because after all of that, she understood that she couldn't just let it go. She had to carry that weight. Because it fucking mattered, and because we don't settle down and accept that that's the way things are, no matter how frustrating or despair-inducing it is. Whatever it is you gotta do, Hazō, you gotta do. Maybe I'll judge you for it, or I won't know how to feel about it, but I meant it when I said I believed in you. We all do, in our own way, even if we don't always show it. And no one believed in you more than she did. More than she does."
Hazō didn't reply, looking back at the moon.
"No pressure, by the way."
Hazō socked him in the shoulder, getting an anguished laugh from Noburi. Though lessened, there was still a trace of that emptiness in Hazō's expression… some things, only time could heal, but Noburi did believe anything could heal. An ambitious doctor couldn't believe any less.
"For what it's worth, Noburi, you're my hero too."
Hazō paced back and forth anxiously just outside the main building, feeling the cold but also needing the fresh air to reinvigorate him before what was likely to be a very tiring meeting on top of a very tiring day. He'd finished going over preparations with Mari. The messengers had been sent. There was so much to discuss, and he couldn't begin to guess how Kei and the others would react to the new information he'd obtained about Jashin–or to Hazō's steadily-evolving place within the religion. Hazō had said only what he had to in order to protect his own life and those of the villagers, but doing the wrong thing for the right reasons might not impress the Thinkers when that wrong thing related to pleasing or even empowering an eldritch horror.
"Good evening, Favoured One!"
Hazō whirled around in shock.
"Oh, it's just you, Yuno. Why would you call me that?"
Yuno's beaming expression faded a little. "Was that the wrong form of address? Sorry. I'm very new at this. What should I call you?"
Suddenly getting a very bad feeling, and realising they were standing in the middle of a quiet but not empty courtyard, Hazō urgently pulled her inside.
"Yuno, what are you talking about?"
"Oh, I'm a cultist of Jashin too now," Yuno said perkily as she shrugged off her coat. "Satsuko isn't, because you have to be able to take life with your own hands to qualify, but the Great Prophet was very impressed with her enthusiasm."
Hazō suppressed the mother of all groans. "Yuno, are you telling me you met Hidan?"
"That's right," Yuno said, fingering a terrifyingly familiar chain around her neck with her free hand. "I was very focused on training this afternoon, so I missed the evacuation signal when he came to look around the training grounds, and he recognised my colours and came over to ask if you'd finished converting the Gōketsu to Jashinism yet. And then he noticed Satsuko and asked about her, and I asked about Sanjin–we think they might have been made by the same smithing tradition because of how they're both made to spill lots of blood instead of just killing–and we ended up talking. I've never met anybody so wise."
"Yuno," Hazō said carefully, "you are aware that the man is a psychotic lunatic who massacres innocents for fun and was probably responsible for the deaths of numerous friends and relatives of people we care about?"
Yuno nodded. "And if any of those people want to try to take revenge on him, that's only fair and I won't stand in their way. I might even help them if that's Lord Jashin's will. But that doesn't change what he is to me."
Yuno took an alarming step closer, into Hazō's personal space. Her hand was tight around Satsuko's hilt.
"The Great Prophet took one look at me and he understood, Hazō. He understood everything, even the bits Noburi will never get. Especially those bits. I didn't have to explain what it meant that blood was colour, or how you could want somebody dead with all your heart but not care what happened to them at the same time. He was practically finishing my sentences for me. And then he told me that everything I was feeling had a name, and that name was Jashin, and that Lord Jashin's teachings would make me complete and fill all the holes in my heart that my happiness as a Gōketsu never will."
"Yuno," Hazō attempted to reason, "Jashin is evil. He tells Hidan to kill innocent people. He told Hidan to kidnap me and make me fight someone to the death against my will."
"Exactly!" Yuno exclaimed. "He didn't just say, 'Follow my precepts and you will live a proper life' and then stand there and do nothing while people bullied you for being unclean even when you were doing everything right, like Ui does. He didn't just say, 'Believe in me and it'll make you a good person', and then turn his back on you when you couldn't believe enough, like the Will of Fire does. He set you a practical test you were capable of passing, and when you passed, he rewarded you with his favour. As Jashinists, we know exactly what Lord Jashin wants from us, and we know that doing it will earn us more of his favour, and it isn't even hard because Lord Jashin is already in our hearts and all we have to do is be true to ourselves.
"The Great Prophet was even willing to offer me training so I could serve Lord Jashin better, but he said he didn't have time right now because he had to go and butcher the people who killed Akane, and he didn't want me to head to one of the compounds because you needed my support."
"I… do?" Hazō asked warily.
"The Great Prophet said you could teach me about theology and interpreting Lord Jashin's will, and I could teach you about true devotion and not being a pussy, and together we could set up a temple and start gathering converts and make sure you met your sacrifice quota.
"I'm thinking of starting with Snowflake. She's an immortal like the Great Prophet, and she has a lot of questions about the meaning of life and death, and she's always looking to try new things. Also, it'll mean Kei can learn about Lord Jashin without having to formally convert, in case there's a theological conflict with being the Pangolin Summoner."
Hazō's head was spinning. He was already exhausted from his day out with Hidan, and now there was this.
"Wait. What was that about a quota?"
"You have to kill enough people before he next sees you," Yuno said. "But he wouldn't tell me how many because he said that way would be more motivating. Something about making sure you weren't just paying lip service by doing the bare minimum.
"So if I don't call you Favoured One, what do I call you? The Great Prophet said Jashinism wasn't a very formal faith, but he didn't say I couldn't pay respect to a senior cultist, and I was brought up to be proper about these things."
Hazō opened his mouth, but before he could come up with a suitable response, there came the sound of distant voices. The genius trio, naturally, were precisely on time.
"Just… I'll deal with you later," he hissed at Yuno. "For now, do not talk to anyone about Hidan or Jashin. That's a clan head order. And for the love of the ancestors, put that amulet away."
Yuno gave him a blank look, but as he turned away from her and headed out to meet his guests, she mercifully headed in the direction of her room rather than in the direction of making his life even more complicated.
"Hey Gaku," Hazō said with a sigh, brushing past his secretary to drop into his chair. "Got your brush? Because I've got a lot." He poured himself a cup of tea.
"Good morning, sir. I am prepared. As I always am."
Hazō glanced up from his tea, giving his chancellor a sharp look. "Is that a touch of dry mockery I detect in your tone, Gaku?"
"I would never, sir," Gaku said drily. "I was merely making a statement of fact."
"Uh-huh. Have a cookie." He shoved the platter closer to Gaku.
Gaku hesitated, then leaned over and nicked one of the gingersnaps. "Thank you, sir."
"Welcome. Remind me to tell Granny Mayuka that she outdid herself on this batch."
"Yes sir." Gaku nibbled the corner off the cookie, cupping his hand under his chin to avoid spilling crumbs.
"Soooo. Interesting bit of stuff for the journals."
"Yes sir." Gaku set the cookie down and picked up his brush.
"Had my meeting with the GIC today."
"The 'gick', sir?"
"The GIC. Gōketsu Intelligence Council. Kei, Shikamaru, Snowflake, and Mari. That's 'intelligence' in the military sense—information of strategic importance plus analysis of that information."
"I see, sir."
"Not intelligence in the sense of brainpower. If it was in terms of brainpower then you'd be there."
"Of course, sir."
"I mean, not that those people don't have brainpower. Each of them is the smartest person in the room except when they're together or operating outside their area of expertise."
"Area of expertise, sir?"
"Yeah. Kei's probably the most brilliant woman I know when it comes to plan analysis and modification, and Snowflake is Kei without the depression and most of the inappropriately-directed rage issues. On the other hand, get her into a discussion about Tenten and she starts stammering and pinking up like a ripening tomato."
"Tomatoes stammer, sir?"
"Work with me, Gaku."
"Yes sir."
"Mari is a genius at understanding and manipulating people, which makes her an excellent counterbalance for Kei and Snowflake. Except when she gets—distracted." It was a clumsy save but it probably wasn't appropriate for him to finish the sentence with what he'd been thinking: Except when she gets into a guilt spiral, refuses to acknowledge that she's ever done anything good in her entire life, and falls into a weeks-long depression from which she needs to be extracted with a level of force generally implemented by an S-rank heavy combat team after someone spills a drink on one of them.
"Very informative, sir."
"Thanks." He cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Then we get to Shikamaru who just..." He broke off, trying to find the words, then gave up and shook his head. "I'm getting distracted. I called a meeting with the GIC—" He broke off as Gaku winced. "What?"
"If I may, sir, are you certain that is the name you wish to use?"
"What? The GIC?"
"Yes sir."
"Gōketsu Intelligence Council, GIC. What's wrong with it?"
"For one thing, sir, two of the members do not carry the Gōketsu name and have loyalties divided between the Gōketsu and the Nara. A third member does not carry the Gōketsu name and has no loyalty whatsoever to the Gōketsu due to the fact that he is the head of a clan that could become an enemy at any time."
"Gaku!" Hazō said, looking over in pretended shock. "The Nara are our friends! Heck, Shikamaru is married to my sister. Are you suggesting that they might turn on us if they decide that the Gōketsu were a threat to Leaf, or to the Nara, or to whatever little brainworm Shikamaru woke up with that day?"
"Sir..." The older man hesitated, looking uncertain. "Sir, my experience with ninja clans is that their alliances tend to be fraught and may not long endure."
"An excellent point, Gaku. An excellent point. You are a perspicacious man filled with insight and worldly wisdom."
"Okay, yeah, maybe the name needs some work. Anyway, I'm having a meeting with Mari, Shikamaru, Kei, and Snowflake, so obviously I need to have a whole bunch of pre-meetings."
"Very wise, sir," Gaku said, his brush swirling smoothly across the page as he made notes.
"I thought so. Anyway, first thing was that I told Mari to watch out for Shikamaru lying."
Gaku's head came up quickly. "Lord Nara is lying, sir?"
"Well, concealing information. Same thing given how important it is."
"Ah. Yes sir."
"No, seriously, it is."
"I feel certain it is, sir, but I'm not sure what information you are referencing, sir."
Hazō sighed. "What information aren't I referencing? Shikamaru is more tight-lipped than a lockjaw salmon."
Gaku tipped his head, confused. "A what, sir?"
"It's a fish. Once it bites down, it doesn't let go even if you kill it. You have to break its jawbone in order to get it to let go. Which is tough, because that tends to burst the fire glands and cause a massive explosion. Point is, Shikamaru doesn't share information he doesn't have to. Ever. About anything. If I wanted to know what the weather was, he would check the Nara rulebook to make sure it was safe to tell me."
"I see, sir."
Hazō waved a cookie broadly, staring up at the ceiling as he did. "Okay, okay, that's a little hyperbolic. Still, I'd like it if he wasn't quite so tight lipped.
"I told Mari to keep an eye out for Shikamaru—or anyone, really—being deceptive or concealing information. There's this thing that Pain mentioned at Nagi Island. 'The Five.' Five what? Five who? Nobody knows. My best guess—" He broke off, suddenly realizing where his mouth had been taking him while his brain was freewheeling along. It's purely a guess, but I think that there's five ninja bloodlines, each of them bonded to an entity from outside reality. That was a secret that the Nara and the Mori clearly intended to protect with their lives, and Hazō had nearly spilled it. Heck, if he had continued he might have said something even less wise, like the Frozen Skein, Kei's bloodline? It's a thing that she reaches out to. It talks back, gives her ideas. I think the Nara bloodline is similar, and I think those others are the same. Hoo boy. Granny Mayuka's gingersnaps were too tasty. They were distracting him.
"Never mind," he said. "That's a tangent."
"Of course, sir." Gaku's tone made very clear that he knew he was being excluded from sensitive information.
"Anyway, I was saying that I wish Shikamaru would share with the class a bit more, so I told Mari to watch for that and we did some general discussion prep. Then she went off to do Mari things that I don't want to think about while I went to the Tower and asked for the ANBU transcription of my conversation with Hidan."
"It surprises me that ANBU would be willing to share their documentation, sir."
"And thus is your perspicacity demonstrated. Got nothing from that."
"Why did you want it, sir?" The words were curious and unthinking, immediately followed by a hurried, "If you don't mind my asking. Apologies if I've overstepped, sir."
"Gaku, relax. Have another cookie." He nudged the platter, its contents now much reduced due to Hazō's continual depredations, towards his chancellor / seneschal / secretary / friend(?) / advisor.
"Um, thank you sir." He took another cookie.
"Right, so, transcript and the desiring thereof. A while back I went to talk to Orochimaru. Had a whole list of questions for him."
"I remember, sir. You were quite pale when you returned."
The words brought a flash of wide, staring eyes and surgical tools. Hazō twitched and pushed the thoughts away firmly.
"It was pretty rough," Hazō granted. "Still, I had this whole list of questions I wanted to ask him. Thinking back on it, I realized that I forgot to ask one of the questions. I went through all the rest but somehow I skipped that one. I thought maybe there was some kind of infoeater chewing the memories out of my skull."
"Is that possible, sir?" Gaku said, his voice the very model of horrified.
Still casually slumped in his chair, feet up on his desk, ankles crossed, Hazō took a bite of his cookie and continued staring at the ceiling. "Yup," he said.
"Oh."
"There's a whole class of seal failures related to infoeaters. Fortunately, most seal failures involve localized physical destruction—they blow up, or melt everything within twenty feet into goo, or turn nearby people inside out. It's when you start getting into the more esoteric failures that things get bad. Infoeaters are some of the worst, at least in my opinion."
"You think that perhaps there was a seal failure while you were speaking with Lord Orochimaru, sir?"
"How would I know, Gaku? The whole point of an infoeater attack is that you don't remember it happening and in most cases you don't remember exactly what caused it. Oh, 'I was infusing a seal and it failed', sure. You don't remember important details like visible and auditory signifiers or secondary effects. Orochimaru is a skilled seal expert so it's quite plausible that we were using seals while we were down there."
"Sir...do you always go through your life worried that you've had pieces of your mind simply...bitten away?"
"Yup." He meditatively nibbled another cookie. "It's one of the 'fun' parts of being a sealmaster. You have to constantly keep an eye out for areas of your life that don't fit, memories that aren't consistent. That's why the thing in Orochimaru's basement worries me.
"Sooooo," Hazō continued, "with the pre-meeting crap done, we got on to the actual meeting. I kept notes and I'd appreciate it if you would transcribe them and add them to the logs." He waved towards a stack of papers on the corner of the desk, then sipped from his tea.
"Of course, sir." Gaku couldn't quite hide the enthusiasm in his voice as he pulled the papers onto his lap and flipped quickly through the first few pages.
"Gaku, has anyone told you that you are a terrible snoop?" Hazō asked, amused.
"My mother, sir. Starting around age three."
Hazō chuckled. "Smart woman. So, here we are in the actual meeting. I laid out everything I know about Hidan and everything he said to me at our latest meeting. That's the first three pages—balance, conviction, death and birth, quotas, dreams, Jashin's symbol, events at O'uzu and Bakuchioka, Hidan being the quote Death Summoner unquote, Jashin's potential connection to the Hierophant, blah blah blah. Particularly interesting bits that you should make sure to highlight: Jashin apparently has some alleged interest in humanity's prosperity and non-extinction; someone or something that Hidan referred to as 'they' cut out Jashin's tongue; Jashin made the Sage bleed. Hidan's a psychotic crazy person so it's possible that all of this is nonsense, but I still wanted everyone to know it and I want it in the Gōketsu archives. Top-security section, obviously."
"I had assumed, sir."
"Right, well. Moving on. Shikamaru once made mention of the fact that there are entities existing outside of reality and that all the friendly ones have been killed. I wanted to know how he knew that and why he had such confidence that all of the friendly ones had been killed. Surely there might be some friendly ones we simply don't know about?
"I didn't need Mari to tell me that Shikamaru was being evasive. He thought for several seconds before saying 'Hazō, look at the state of the world. Do you truly believe any supernaturally powerful entity could exist and allow the world to remain in this state?'" Hazō rolled his eyes, even though Gaku couldn't see it. "Ridiculous twaddle that glibly dismisses a very important question."
"Did you press him on the matter, sir?"
"I did, yes. He admitted that he couldn't be 100% confident that no friendly supernatural entity existed. I asked him what he knew about supernatural entities as a whole. He and Kei exchanged some very meaningful looks, eyebrow raises, millimetric headshakes, and shrugs. Then Shikamaru disclosed the following words of wisdom on this critical issue."
Hazō sat up, turning to face Gaku with erect posture, both hands laid flat on his desk and an unmoving stone-like expression on his face. He met Gaku's eyes firmly and intoned, "The existence of supernatural beings is quite troublesome." He then grunted his annoyance and put his feet back up on the desk, grabbed another cookie, and started munching.
"You sound not best pleased, sir." Gaku's voice was amused.
Hazō snorted. "Doesn't begin to cover it. He admitted that there was 'some' evidence that such things existed but that he could not talk about it because clan secrets blah blah blah."
"'Clan secrets blah blah blah', sir? My understanding is that clan secrets were quite an important part of Leaf jurisprudence."
Hazō waved in grand dismissal. "Blah blah blah. The world would be a better place if people weren't so sensitive about secrets, Gaku."
"Very wise, sir. Should I prepare a paper containing the secrets of Gōketsu family jutsu and ready it for immediate public release?"
"Gaku, are you aware that Clan Heads have the power to choose the definition of family treason, and that I might choose to place 'excessive sass' on that list at any time?"
"I apologize if anything I said caused you offense, sir. I shall report for flogging immediately upon the end of this meeting."
"As you should. Moving back to the topic that you so thoroughly distracted me from, I met with the GIC, and now I hear what a bad name that is, in order to determine what questions to ask Hidan. I'm uniquely positioned to get information out of him and I wanted to get a list put together. I figured that Mari could do the psychological analysis, get inside that rat warren he calls a head, and then the smarty-blood people could polish it all up."
"That sounds like a very intense conversation, sir."
"Ayup." He sighed and had another cookie. "So, having finished with the pre-meeting meetings and the actual meeting, I decided it was time for the post-meeting pre-meeting meeting. Specifically, I wanted to go over to the Tower and get Asuma's permission to talk to Hidan so that I can finally get some more Jashin lore out of him, in addition to answers for all the questions we put together."
"May I ask why you did that after the meeting where you were talking with the...GIC"—the name was accompanied by a slight and probably involuntary gagging noise—"about the Jashin information? Wouldn't it have made more sense to speak to Lord Hokage first, in order to ensure that the meeting could happen at all?"
"In retrospect, yes. At the time that I set it up I was focusing on the other stuff. Besides, having the list ready to go would still be useful for the future. I'm sure I'll talk to Hidan again at some point." He took a sip of his tea. "Also, the Jashin material got added to the list after I'd already sent the appointment request to Kei and the others. Leaving that thought, I went to ask permission from Asuma to talk to Hidan about Jashin and that's way too many proper names in close proximity."
"What did Lord Hokage say, sir?"
Hazō snorted. "He leaned back in that giant chair, folded his hands on his stomach, and looked at me as though I were a school child called in front of the principal for a caning, or like maybe he was thinking about having me executed."
"Oh dear."
"Yah."
"And why would you want that, Hazō?"
"He's decided..." He shook his head in disbelief. "Remember that he's convinced I'm also a Jashin worshipper, which is a sentence I never expected to say. Well, a Jashin worshipper or at least someone with Jashin's favor. Hidan is putting expectations on me as a result, meaning that I need to know more about Jashin's theology so that I don't accidentally screw up and get another town massacred because...I dunno, I used the wrong fork when carving the dinner roast."
"I see." The Hokage stared at him silently for long seconds. "And, of course, you have no interest in recruiting the S-rank ninja into your..."
Hazō felt his butt clench in the chair. Plot? Conspiracy? Had the Hagoromo been pouring poison into Asuma's ear again? Shitshitshit, how did he get out of this one?
"...fish sex cult?"
Hazō glowered at his political ruler until Asuma's sober facade finally broke and the man started laughing.
"That was mean, sir," Hazō said. He paused. "Also, it was a fish god sex cult."
Asuma nodded and got himself under control, wiping small tears from his eyes. "I apologize, Hazō. The job can be a real drain and I couldn't resist."
"I'm glad I could provide some comedic relief to brighten your day, Lord Hokage," Hazō said, his voice dust dry.
"Heh. I'm afraid the question is somewhat moot; Hidan and Kakuzu have already left. They didn't fill me in on their itinerary."
"I thought they were staying for another couple of days?"
Asuma shrugged. "Apparently not? I've given up trying to predict those people. Jiraiya had a phrase, 'sounds like a bad case of being a jōnin'. Every member of Akatsuki has a truly monumental case of being a jōnin."
"Turns out he was just pranking me," Hazō said. "On top of which, they had already left."
"Ah. I'm sorry to hear it, sir. It seems like it would have been a useful conversation."
"It would have, yes. Also, probably the most interesting part of my day. Unfortunately, as the saying goes: time and drill instructors wait for no ninja and the calendar is the only tyrant that cannot be toppled."
"If I may ask, sir: who exactly is it that says that?"
"No idea, but I'm sure someone has. I guess I did, actually. Don't tell anyone—it can be one of those brilliant seemingly off-the-cuff remarks that make everyone think I'm smart."
"I shall make a note of it, sir."
XP AWARD: 2 Plan was well written and mostly clear, but it covered way too much in a super boring way. Seriously, if I had covered every detail requested by this plan I would have ended up writing a novella.
I had no clue what 'Request the Isan lore. Anything Jashin-related?' meant, so Hazō didn't do that.
"Are you sure this is the right way?" Yuno asked as they jogged through the northern forest, the air still crisp after a bout of inconveniently-timed rain.
"Fairly confident," Hazō said. "Here, let me show you."
He stopped, and Yuno followed suit. He was lucky enough to find a suitably brush-shaped stick and some sufficiently dried mud after only a minute—the Iron Nerve wasn't completely rigid, but it definitely emphasised fidelity over flexibility, and he thanked the Sage that he'd thought to trace the map with a calligraphy brush rather than his finger.
"This is the region we're in," Hazō said as his hand moved without any particular input from him. "Masatsumura–or was it Massatsumura?–is over here somewhere, and we'll be able to find it by following the river. Zansatsu is closer, but it's by a small lake, and that'll be harder to find just by criss-crossing the terrain. Finally, Tanima would be the easiest to locate, but according to the tax collector, it was the first village to go dark, and nobody bothered reporting it to Leaf until Zansatsu and Masatsumura followed and they realised they could be facing an escalation. Any trail is bound to be stone cold by now."
Yuno nodded.
"Besides," Hazō added, "you said there's not much by way of dangerous chakra beasts around here thanks to whatever's started disrupting their migration patterns, so we can take this time to relax a little and chat."
He hesitated, then gathered his nerve.
"Listen, Yuno," he said as they began to move again, "I'm sorry for lashing out when we were talking about Jashin before. It was a very stressful day, and dealing with Hidan left me all Jashined out. I know to you he's a figure to venerate, but to me it's more instinctive to treat Jashin as an ally, so maybe I don't automatically remember that Jashinism is a religion that deserves the same kind of respect as any other. Your beliefs are important to me and I don't mean to dismiss them."
Yuno gave a warm smile. "Thank you, Hazō. Satsuko and I were worried. It happens all the time, this thing where I share my feelings and people freak out and then won't tell me why. Even Kichi got uncomfortable when I tried to talk about my relationship with Isan, and he was very relaxed about ending people's lives. You know, he'd have made a good Jashin cultist if he'd survived the war. I bet there are other people like him who still would."
Kichi… Kichi… was that someone Hazō was supposed to know? He and Yuno didn't really move in the same circles, insofar as Yuno had circles.
Actually, that narrowed it down considerably.
"Was he the Final Gift Programme guy at your coming-of-age ceremony?"
"That's right," Yuno said. "It was really sad. Right before he died, he was boasting how Ami said she thought he was ready for a higher position in the FGP, and she was even willing to pull some strings to fix his reputation with the rank-and-file by getting him onto one of those deep raiding squads that are really only meant for ANBU and jōnin candidates. I hope he got to massacre lots of enemy civilians like he wanted before he died."
Huh.
"Speaking of massacring civilians"–Hazō said some words he never expected or wanted to say in his life–"I know that's the part of Jashin's creed that Hidan's keenest on preaching, but I also don't think it's something we, as in you and I specifically, want to focus on too much."
"What do you mean?"
"Well," Hazō said, "you remember what I told you about Hidan moonlighting as the Oracle on O'Uzu?"
"I do," Yuno said. "I have to admit, I'm really not sure what to make of that now I've met him and heard what he has to say."
"The point," Hazō said, "is that Jashin has two aspects–Death and Birth. The human population has to grow and flourish so there are more people, and then you can sacrifice those people to Jashin without the risk of running out. If humanity goes extinct, that means no more sacrifices, right?"
"Sure," Yuno said, "but it's not like that's ever going to happen."
"It's not," Hazō agreed, keeping the fierce determination out of his voice because that wasn't what this conversation was about. "But it's a realistic threat. A lot of very smart people, including Kei, think humanity is on the decline. Today, it's a few civilian villages. Tomorrow, it could be everyone, because if Death and Birth get too far out of balance, the same thing happens as when anything gets too far out of balance. I think you must know better than most people what happens, say, when there aren't enough predators to hunt prey, or when there are too many."
"Mass starvation," Yuno said. "Too many predators kill too much prey, and then they starve because the prey can't breed fast enough to maintain the food source. Not enough predators, and the prey breed too much and run out of their food source, and the same thing happens. If that food source is important for other things, it can ripple out and do terrible damage to the entire habitat. Everyone in Isan is taught about not exterminating too many predators and not over-hunting any one prey species, because it wasn't like we could just move if things went wrong."
"Exactly!" Hazō exclaimed delightedly. "That's the perfect analogy. Right now, too many prey animals, which is to say civilians, are dying, and the world's heading in the direction where they get wiped out and then the predators, which is to say ninja, end up starving to death." Actually, that analogy got more disturbing the more he thought about it. "That's doubly true for Jashin, because ninja just need enough civilians to feed them, whereas Jashin needs enough civilians to feed his cultists–who are also ninja–and to be regularly sacrificed.
"I've been working to prevent that doomsday scenario ever since I was a missing-nin, long before I first heard of Jashin at the Chūnin Exams. Then, when I had a chance to talk to Hidan about Jashin at O'Uzu, he approved of Uplift as Jashin's high priest, and to prove the point, Jashin kept favouring me. I never told you about Bakuchioka, but there was this time when Hidan forced me to gamble for a village's worth of lives, and I had such incredible luck keeping people alive that it could only be Jashin's favour. In other words, Jashin agreed with me that people should live–not everyone, in the event, but definitely a majority."
"So you're saying," Yuno reasoned, "that Lord Jashin wants people to be sacrificed, but not so many that it tips the balance. But the Great Prophet never said anything about that."
"Because it's not his role," Hazō agreed. "He's in charge of Death. At O'Uzu, he was doing Birth as well, but he admitted himself that he wasn't that good at it compared to all the killing. Right now, there's too much Death and not enough Birth. I recognised that without Jashin's help, and I have a solid plan for fixing it–and between Bakuchioka and other things, it's clear Jashin approves. He wants me to take over Birth. Will you help me with that?"
The silence stretched a while, long enough for Yuno to notice the tracks of a greater needlemouse and make sure they gave it a wide berth.
"I'm very flattered you'd see me that way, Hazō," Yuno said carefully, "but I only want one man to father my children, and it's Noburi, the second he's old enough for the Perpendicular Anointment Ceremony and I figure out how to get the Isanese priests to brew me the Nectar of Joy."
"I, uh, didn't mean it that way," Hazō stammered.
"Good." Yuno relaxed. "Besides, now I think of it, our children are going to be brought up in Lord Jashin's faith, so they'll be doing even more sacrificing, and you're saying that's not Birth material. I think maybe I should follow the Great Prophet's orthodox teachings and stick to Death."
"I meant," Hazō said, "that as a fellow cultist of Birth, you could help me kill those who threaten innocent lives, improve quality of life for as many people as possible, and generally make the world a place into which people want to bring more children and in which those children are guaranteed to survive and flourish. That'll reverse the decline and make sure Birth and Death are in balance."
"I see," Yuno said after a second. "So you want me to help you get the human population to a stable level."
"Right."
"Then we figure out the replacement rate and sacrifice everyone who isn't needed to maintain it, and that way Lord Jashin gets the greatest possible number of births and deaths, and we don't risk any of the problems of overpopulation or decline. Hazō, that's brilliant! Of course I'll help."
Wait, what?
"We'll have to get Kei and Snowflake to figure out how many people we need," Yuno said thoughtfully. "I wouldn't know where to start figuring that out–especially when you account for things like plagues, where the more people there are, the more likely somebody is to offend the disease spirits so they punish on the whole community. Also, we'll need to make sure Lord Jashin's cult takes over the world early on, because we don't want to end up in a situation where the non-Jashinist ninja population grows very fast and we end up facing a big ninja force that disagrees with how we do things. You know, suddenly a lot of the things you've been doing make much more sense."
"Nonono," Hazō hastened to correct her. "We want the human population to keep going up. If there's a line we don't want to cross, that's going to be many generations away. Until then, we should be doing everything we can to reverse the decline."
Yuno shook her head. "We have to start laying the foundations now, just like Akio and the Companions made sure the rules and rituals of Isan were laid down correctly from the very first day. Otherwise, by the time we get to that line–assuming it really is generations away–you'll be dead, and all the people who haven't accepted Lord Jashin's truth into their hearts are going to refuse to be massacred for the sake of the future. You have to make sacrifices to Lord Jashin part of the fabric of society now, so nobody thinks to question them when the time comes for mass sacrifice, just like Akio made the rules about being cruel to the unclean, so when I was growing up, nobody thought to question them even though I almost never did anything wrong."
"People aren't going to accept that," Hazō said. "Uplift can only happen if everyone accepts that it's a universal good. As soon as we give them reason to think some of them are going to be murdered, they're going to fight to preserve the current, broken ways."
"Then make them," Yuno said without any particular emotion. "Nobody outside the cult accepts being sacrificed either, so you sacrifice them through force because it's what's right. Lord Jashin is already guiding you in that direction. It's why all the seals you invent for the sake of Uplift are seals for killing people, not seals for, I don't know, making the soil more fertile or making women more fertile. It's why he gave you Mari, who hurts people for you without ever telling you, instead of Ami, who ends wars by persuading people to be nice to each other. It's why he sent the Great Prophet to teach you about murder instead of leaving you alone to carry on with the Uplift you were already working on.
"The more I talk to you about this, the more it makes sense," Yuno said with a trace of exaltation in her voice. "Everything I went through in Isan… maybe it was for this moment. Isan is defined by tradition, and my life was defined by tradition, and that's why I know that tradition is the most powerful force in the world if you can shape it, and a wall that you can't break down by being nice to people or using arguments that make sense or giving them things they ought to want. This is how I help you–not just by killing people who need killing, but by making sense of my life in Isan and teaching you how to use the same power, but in Lord Jashin's name."
Hazō fell silent. He didn't know where to start with that. He just didn't. Hazō had never really had to face religion in his life, either on its own terms or lurking in the hearts of those around him. He acknowledged the ancestors' influence, but it was very much in the background of his life. Thanks to Mum, he'd somehow managed to get by without being too indoctrinated by Yagura's teachings, and then his experiences outside Mist had been more than enough to shrug off what was left. He mostly just pretended the Will of Fire didn't exist when he wasn't busy using it to support his arguments or doing the minimum necessary to appease the Leaf ninja around him. And even now, he was paying the price for exploiting and then ignoring the Spirit of Youth. Would Akane still be alive if he'd engaged deeply with her beliefs from the start, and found a way forward for her that didn't eventually lead off a cliff?
"I see a wall ahead," Yuno suddenly announced. Hazō set his trail of thought aside in favour of the trails of chakra beasts.
The village of Masatsumura was silent as the grave, which was grimly ironic since none of the inhabitants had got one. The tax collectors who discovered the massacre must have looked around and then simply gone away, not bothering to collect the bodies or even do them the basic honour of a funeral pyre that would bear away the souls of the worthy to rejoin the Will of Fire and protect even the unworthy from desecration. Convenient, for an investigator needing to know what killed them, but also a cold reminder that civilians could hold each other in just as much contempt as the ninja held them.
"Scavengers," Yuno concluded after studying several of the bodies, which lay scattered in a haphazard fashion across the village territory: most alone, but some in twos and threes, all torn apart by what Yuno now told him were lesser chakra beasts hungry for dead flesh. Little remained but bones with scraps of flesh hanging off them. It was next to impossible to tell the damage inflicted before death from damage after.
"They must have tried to defend themselves," Hazō observed. "Many of these bodies have makeshift weapons next to them–rakes, clubs, even chairs for those inside the buildings. It wasn't a sudden attack; the sentries on the walls must have had time to raise the alarm."
"But the gates were open," Yuno said. "It was sudden enough that nobody had time to close them, even though it should have been easy to spot a chakra beast or a group of chakra beasts big enough to wipe out an entire village."
"Burrowers?" Hazō suggested. "Or fliers?"
"No burrowing chakra beasts in this area," Yuno said. "I've been following the reports, and those don't seem to have been affected by the disruption to the migration patterns. It could be fliers, but then everyone would have rushed indoors and there are so many people outside."
"You're right," Hazō confirmed after a cursory search of the buildings. "Some of those people were killed indoors, but the majority are outside, carrying cooking knives and rolling pins and other things they could only have got if they were coming out from their homes."
Masatsumura was beginning to look increasingly like a dead end. There were plenty of trails to follow, but no way of telling the scavenger trails apart from that of the chakra beast responsible. Plenty of damage to the bodies, but no way of identifying the nature of the killing blow.
"Hazō," Yuno said from near the wall, her voice trembling, "what is going on here?"
"What is it, Yuno?"
Hazō came over.
"Sage's ballsack," he spat.
Several of the bodies had arrows sticking out of them. Not just one, as of an archer firing into melee and accidentally hitting a friend. Several. More littered the ground nearby, some piercing it at acute angles.
"Those must be the archers," he said, pointing to two bodies bearing empty quivers. They were too far from the wall to have been knocked off it. "But why would they shoot their own people? Why use up all their arrows and then climb down? That doesn't make sense if there were chakra beasts on the ground and the wall was the safest place, and if they were in the air, then you'd climb down first and get to cover."
Yuno stared at the bodies. "Hazō, what if we've got it all wrong? What if they weren't all slaughtered by chakra beasts?"
"But then…" Hazō said, "what could have done this to an entire village?
"Wait, do you hear the sound of wings?"
Alertness: Yuno (??), Flying chakra beast (??), Hazō (29)
Round 1
Yuno
Supplemental: Retrieve earplugs
Standard Manoeuvre: Insert earplugs
Yuno creates the Personal Aspect "Hear No Evil" and gets a tag on it. She also receives a penalty to Alertness.
Supplemental: Draw air dome seals
Flying chakra beast
???: ??? + ? = ?
Yuno tags "Hear No Evil".
Yuno: Resolve ?? + ? + ?= ??
Yuno resists.
Hazō: Resolve 54 + 6 = 60
Hazō resists.
Hazō
Hazō sees Yuno prepare the air dome seals, but disagrees with her tactical decision.
Full-Round: Insert and activate skywalkers.
Round 2
Yuno
Yuno mutters something under her breath on seeing Hazō's actions.
Full-Round: Insert and activate skywalkers.
Flying chakra beast
Full-Round: Move
Hazō
Hazō uses chakra boost every round from this point.
Full-Round: Move
The combat turns into a chase sequence. Each victory either closes or expands the gap between the flying chakra beast and the ninja. Three successes put it in attack range. Three failures drop the ninja too far behind to follow.
Flying chakra beast: Athletics ?? + ? = ??
Hazō: Athletics 34 + 4 + 0 = 38
Yuno: Athletics ?? + ? = ??
Yuno: 1 success
Hazō: 1 failure
Flying chakra beast: Athletics ?? + ? = ??
Hazō: Athletics 34 + 4 - 6 = 32
Yuno: Athletics ?? + ? = ??
Yuno: 2 success
Hazō: 2 failure
Flying chakra beast: Athletics ?? + ? = ??
Yuno Athletics ??+ ? = ??
Hazō: Athletics 34 + 4 + 0 = 38
Yuno: 3 success
Hazō: 3 failure
Combat ends for Hazō.
The last thing Hazō saw was Yuno thrusting her hand into her belt pouch. Then everything went blank.
After a second of disorientation, he heard the voice in his mind, explaining everything, leaving no room for doubt. It was Yuno. Yuno was the real threat here. She stood in the way of everything he wanted. She was going to kill him, yes, kill him the very next instant. He could already see her pulling something out, surely a deadly weapon with which she'd strike him down if he didn't strike first. He had to strike first. She needed to die.
Hazō nearly laughed as the insidious message of hatred and murder attempted to wind its way into the crevices of his mind… and met a rock-hard wall built over subjective months of focused meditation. There was no room for malign influence, no room for anything but Hazō himself within the fortress of his will. The chakra beast's scrabbling against that wall was so ineffectual it might as well have attempted to seduce him by dressing up as Lord Hagoromo. Its insistent whispers turned into the dying echoes of an ugly croak as Hazō looked up and beheld his foe.
The birdlike creature was perhaps twice the size of an albatross, with a long, wickedly-hooked beak, its grey feathers interrupted only on its shining, pearlescent neck, and its breast, marked by a golden circle. It stared down at him, and though Hazō had no experience in reading possibly-avian body language, he was sure its beady eyes were filled with confusion and disbelief.
"A discord pigeon," Yuno said, somewhat louder than was necessary. "They're supposed to be very rare." She reached for her pouch again, this time pulling out a pair of air dome seals.
Hazō could see what she was thinking. It was the tactic Noburi had employed against the assassin the day Minami died. Air domes cut off air. They cut off sound. An air dome would keep the chakra beast's hypnotic croak at bay long enough for them to strategise and prepare. It wasn't the move Hazō would have expected from someone like Yuno, but then again, she was a veteran chakra beast hunter, and he already knew Isan's vicinity featured mind-influencing chakra beasts.
However, Hazō had a different idea. Without Kei or Snowflake, they were woefully under-equipped to take on a flying enemy. While they could try their luck with an explosive tag, their throwing skills were sadly lacking, especially vertically upwards. A single miss, or even a minor hit, would be enough to scare off any halfway sensible bird… and this thing needed to die here and now. It couldn't be allowed to do this to another village.
Instead, Hazō reached for the skywalker inserts he'd been forced to take off before they were ruined by the mud. After a second's glare, Yuno dropped the seals and followed his example.
Unfortunately, the discord pigeon had taken those few seconds to decide that discretion was the better part of valour anyway. Hazō and Yuno gave chase, this time ready to unleash the full weight of their arsenals the second they were in range. As a ninja, there was little more honourable than stabbing an enemy in the back.
They gave chase… and gave chase… and gave chase. Bit by bit, Yuno and the discord pigeon receded into the distance as Hazō's legs turned into lead weights and his lungs tried to tear themselves out of his chest in protest at unacceptable working conditions. Finally, he was forced to admit defeat and leave the hunting to the professional.
Instead, he did something else that needed to be done. There was a limit to how many bodies a single Hazō could drag into a funeral pyre in a few hours, especially as the cold began to numb his fingers, but he wasn't the kind of man who could sit around and relax amidst a pile of corpses he hadn't made (and, in a second grim irony, the mostly-eaten state of the bodies meant they were very light and conveniently portable for funerary purposes).
-o-
"I found a new colour!"
Hazō turned around from the roughly-carved bench he'd been sitting on to see Yuno, covered in green liquid and grinning in a tired but still rather maniacal fashion.
"I beg your pardon?"
"The blood," Yuno explained. "I thought at first it was lime, but it's not. It's a kind of greenish-yellow I haven't seen before. I'm going to have to go find a dye seller and ask them what it's called. Do you know how exciting that is?"
Hazō decided not to press the matter further.
"I take it you killed the discord pigeon?"
"Sure did," Yuno said. "At first, I was going to butcher it there and then, but then I realised it would be better to let it lead me to its nest, so I dropped back a little and stalked it, and I was right! There were three whole chicks to kill. Also, there were human remains. Three people, all really big and well-muscled, without much by way of injuries except for the bits the chicks were eating and the talon swipes across the throat. I decided to leave them as they were."
"Huh," Hazō said for lack of anything else he could possibly say.
With that, they headed back.
"Say, Yuno," Hazō said eventually, deciding he'd rather talk about disturbing things he was at least familiar with than dwell on friends and families being forced to kill each other by a monster against which they had no defence. "You said you didn't know about Jashin before, but wasn't his symbol there at your wedding?"
"It was," Yuno said, "but I only knew it as one of the symbols of the Old Gods that you need to use in various rituals. If you want to know about it, you should ask the Inoue. As loremasters, it's their duty to know the stories of the Old Gods and what they are and where they went and what to do if it ever seems like they're coming back. Ordinary people like me don't need esoteric knowledge like that, and besides, obviously the lore is wrong–the Old Gods are supposed to be something to fear, but Lord Jashin is what I've been looking for all my life without knowing it."
Talk to the loremasters, she said. How would Yuno feel when she learned Isan had been annihilated? Would she be heartbroken? Would she be heartbroken that she didn't get to do it herself? Hazō had no idea how to navigate the complexity of her feelings about Isan. He only knew that, whatever her reaction, he would be the one responsible, and EM OPSEC meant he'd never be able to ask her forgiveness for as long as he lived.
Hazō moved on before his expression gave anything away.
"So you don't know what gods were responsible for Jashin losing his tongue?"
"No," Yuno said. "I didn't even know he'd lost his tongue. I really need to learn more about Lord Jashin. If you find out who they were, let me know so I can kill them in his name."
"What about Jashin making the Sage bleed?"
Yuno's mouth split into a broad smile. "He did?"
"Apparently."
"Sorry, though, I don't know."
"What about the King of Hell?" Hazō tried. "I've heard that title many times now, and given Jashin's the god of Birth and Death and murder and blood and possibly peppermint tea, do you think they could be the same person?"
Yuno considered.
"The Great Prophet said people count as sacrifices, but beasts and summons don't, though maybe that's because summons don't really die when you kill them. So if the population of an entire other Path doesn't count for Lord Jashin, doesn't that mean humans are special to him, and therefore the Human Path is special? That doesn't sound right for somebody whose main job is ruling Hell."
"True," Hazō conceded. "Ugh, why is trying to get reliable lore about anything like trying to beat my head against the wall?"
"Sorry," Yuno said. "It seems like Isan's the only place where people have taken lots of care to preserve ancient lore and don't have rules about keeping everything secret. Maybe that's another thing we can change when we take over the world."
Oh, right. That was another thing that urgently needed taking care of.
"About that," Hazō said. "Leaf isn't ready for Jashinism. I need them to embrace Uplift first, and then that can be my vehicle for preparing them for the full thing. That means publicly supporting Jashinism now is going to be a problem for us politically, and that in turn makes it a problem for Jashin's plans, which include me accomplishing Uplift. With that in mind, can I ask you to keep it secret for now?"
"I guess," Yuno said reluctantly. "But if it's such a problem, why did the Great Prophet tell everybody?"
Hazō sighed. "I don't know. I guess maybe he's not all that aware of the political situation in Leaf, and just how much me being known as a Jashinist would screw me over. Or maybe it's a test–but even if it is, I can only pass that test by serving Jashin while making everyone think I don't, not by admitting it to a hostile Leaf and probably being executed for heresy."
"It seems disloyal," Yuno said disapprovingly. "It would make Lord Jashin happy if everybody went around making sacrifices to him–and, I guess, making children who can be sacrifices to him later. I heard the Great Prophet even said something about a temple to him, and I think that's a great idea."
"When Leaf is ready," Hazō stressed. "Birth needs a different approach from Death, and Jashin's chosen to let me do my job, not have Hidan do it. Yuno, this is important: even if we have some theological disagreements, can I trust you to keep our Jashinism secret and let me serve Jashin the way I, his favoured, believe he wants to be served?"
"But isn't the kraken out of the inkwell already?" Yuno asked. "It's been nearly two days since the Great Prophet revealed your allegiance. Everyone in Leaf must know by now, and you haven't done anything to deny it."
"I left that to Mari."
"Oh," Yuno said. "But isn't that like sending somebody to apologise for you? If you don't do it yourself, it's not going to come across as very sincere. You could maybe get away with that if you were too sick or too busy to leave your home, but you're out here hunting chakra beasts with me."
Hazō sighed. "I'll figure it out. For now, let's deal with one thing at a time. Can I trust you to keep our secret until I judge Leaf is ready?"
Yuno hesitated before answering. "I guess. But this is all to protect us from political problems, right?"
"Right."
"So it's fine if I convert the rest of the family," she concluded. "Maybe not Kagome, because the other day I taught him a secret Isanese charm to keep the hair grease demons away, and within a week it was an Academy playground rhyme, but I certainly have to bring my husband into the cult, and I already told you what I thought about Snowflake, and then I'm sure Kei will join to support her sister-lover-whatever they are. Also, Mari has no problem with torturing and killing people for a higher cause, and I may still be unhappy with her over the whole Orochimaru thing, but I'm not the kind of cultist who'd keep the joy of Lord Jashin from someone just because they did bad things in the past."
Hazō opened his mouth to object.
"Hazō," Yuno said severely, "are you ashamed to be a cultist of Lord Jashin?"
"That's not it. It's just–"
"Do you trust the rest of our family less than you trust me?"
"...No."
"Good," Yuno said. "I finally have a family, Hazō, and I don't want to see us divided. I'll talk to Noburi tonight, once he gets back from the hospital. Now come on, we have to reach the safe zone before it gets dark and the chakra chinchilla swarms erupt."
-o-
You have received 6 + 2 (Brevity) + 1 (Fun-to-Write) = 9 XP.
Hazō Prime and Hazō WhatTheFuckWorld and Hazō SureWhyNotTryThisToo sat seiza, facing and ignoring one another. Every so often one of them would twitch slightly. Not for any useful purpose, not with any requirement. Purely so that the other two could practice maintaining focus in the face of distraction.
Beside each of them was a pile of bricks. Each brick was as identical as Hazō Prime's skill with Earthshaping could make it: a thumb joint thick, a thumb wide, and a handspan long. It was the right size for the very simplest of the seals in Jiraiya's pedagogical series. The seal was only a single stroke, almost straight and with almost no feathering, but it was still a seal.
The goal today was to determine that it was possible to create a three-dimensional version of that seal using materials that could be manipulated with the Earthshaping jutsu.
Hazō WhatTheFuckWorld had already tried pressing chakra into granite using basic chakra repulsion to see if it would stick. It did not. It poofed away like a fart bubbling out of the bath.
Hazō WhatTheFuckWorld had then tried pressing chakra into granite using the Earthshaping jutsu. Ordinarily, the jutsu required that you spend some time completely suffusing the working material with your chakra, but it was agnostic as to what route you used to accomplish that. Hazō WhatTheFuckWorld had tried pressing his chakra through in the exact form of Jiraiya's seal and then ending the jutsu prematurely in the hope that the chakra would remain fixed in the granite. Doing so hurt like hell as the chakra snapped back and exploded the fragile chakra construct that was a clone's version of chakra coils. Hazō Prime grunted as the brief memory of pain hit and then drifted away. He picked up the block that WhatTheFuckWorld had been working with and cast Earthshaping, tracing his chakra into it in hopes that he would find traces of HWTFW's. He did not.
Hazō SureWhyNotTryThisToo held a block of corundum and a chunk of white marble pressed tightly together. The first experiment involved pulling the marble into the corundum, spreading it around in the shape of the seal, then fusing it all together. That done, he executed some of the most basic sealing exercises, the ones he had used so very long ago while Kagome-sensei was first initiating him into the art of cracking the world open like an egg and frying its tasty tasty innards on the griddle of your will.
Reality refused to crack open. At all. Like, not even a smidge. There were no channels for the chakra to explore, no sense of localization to identify, nothing. In fact, the chakra stubbornly refused to move through the 'channels' he'd laid down in much the same way that a toddler stubbornly refused bedtime.
"Gah! You suck, you stupid hunk of rock!"
Hazō Prime ignored him.
With a sigh, Hazō SureWhyNotTryThisToo tossed the brick aside and picked up the next one and the next chunk of marble. He pressed them together and recast the Earthshaping jutsu. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, his chakra spread into the material, saturating every particle of both. This time he pulled a single particle out of the marble and moved it into position at the start of what would have been the brush stroke had he been working in his normal oeuvre. He pulled a second particle and fused it to the front of the first, then fused in a third and a fourth. The process became familiar and he started going faster, a steady line of marble ants marching through the corundum only to throw their bodies onto the steadily growing brush-stroke-imitating line. He reached the bit at the end where the brush would be lifted, resulting in slight feathering at the end of the stroke. Without pause he split the line of marble, sending it down the path of every tiny line produced by each individual hair of the brush that he normally used. They were stored in the Iron Nerve, as was every part of every seal his bloodline had ever gazed upon. He literally knew them better than the backs of his own hands, and he reproduced them as faithfully as his Earthshaping skill allowed. Which was pretty Sagebefucked good given how much effort he had put into the damn thing.
Finally, it was done. Hazō SureWhyNotTryThisToo gazed in satisfaction through the clear coating of his corundum brick, embedded in which was a tracery of marble in the form of his adopted father's most basic seal. He studied it carefully for long minutes, verifying it as though it were a blank he had drawn on paper. So far as he could tell, it was perfect.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, slipping into the familiar meditative trance that apprentices were taught and masters usually didn't need. For long minutes he breathed, eyes closed, feeling out every bit of chakra in his body. He stroked metaphysical fingers through his chakra coils, calming the flow and linearizing it, cleansing any faint disruption that might cause the slightest wobble in his infusion efforts. There was no way of knowing what would happen if he failed while infusing his first-ever three-dimensional seal, but the odds were against it involving rainbows, puppies, or fresh bottled honey.
He was ready.
Eyes still closed he placed his forefinger against the pinprick of marble that was the very end of the 'brushstroke'. His chakra was still laced through the corundum and the marble, but that was fine. He went through the entire brick, regulating every morsel of the chakra into perfect harmony and equalizing the density everywhere. By the time he was done there was no difference between the chakra in the rock and the chakra that hung everywhere in the environment. Well, actually, there was a hell of a lot more chakra in the brick than in the air and it was actually more equalized than what would have been found in the environment, but surely that was to the good.
Right? It was to the good. Definitely.
He breathed out and pressed his chakra into the marble in the pattern that began every infusion.
Nope, said the universe.
With a faint gritting of his teeth, he cast the brick aside and tried again. This time he started by purifying the marble down into the essence of itself. The result was a silver-white bar with just a hint of iridescence. It looked unlike anything he had ever seen and he only hoped that he hadn't produced some arcane material that would at some point eat his soul. He wasn't done yet; with the stone purified he compressed it down as dense as he could make it, then smoothed it internally, clearing away every tiny fracture or weakness, aligning every particle together. Once he was sure the marble was ready he repeated his earlier practice, threading the marble into the corundum in a single unbroken line, clarified and regularized the chakra, and so on. He meditated, calming and centering himself. And then he laid his finger against the exposed bit of marble at one end of the brick and pushed his chakra in, searching for the localization potential that would have been there had this been a regular seal blank.
He found it.
His eyes flew open and he nearly jumped to his feet in excitement, but he caught himself. The fact that there was potential there didn't mean this was actually a viable seal blank. It was a necessary element but not a sufficient one.
He pressed his chakra forward, tracing it through the marble threads that formed what he desperately hoped was a workable seal blank.
It flowed.
Well, 'flowed' was a strong word. 'Stumbled like a drunken sailor leaving the whorehouse' might be a better analogy. The channels were rough, everything misaligned and chaotic. It wasn't the material that was the problem—no, the material was perfect, which was the only reason the sailor could move at all. There was something else, some absent metaphysical seasoning, that he had never noticed with paper and ink seals. The feeling was like running your hand sensuously through your beloved's hair only to find she was made of spikes and nettles.
He pulled his chakra back without actually trying an infusion, shut the jutsu down, set his brick next to Hazō Prime, and dispelled himself.
The experiences and discoveries of Hazō SureWhyNotTryThisToo slammed into Hazō Prime with the familiar thunk of clone sickness. He brushed the feeling aside like the tiny fly it was and examined the experiences carefully. With a corner of his mind he sustained the Earthshaping jutsu he had been holding all this time.
He went through the memories four times, wringing forth every tiny detail, every jot and tittle of useful data. And then he turned back to the block of crystal he had been studying for the last hour.
The crystal was one of the fragments that the team had brought back from the cave in the Land of Honey. It took to the Earthshaping jutsu easily, running eagerly to his mental hand and shifting the moment he made his desire known. The process was still slow, yes, but it was far easier than with any other material he had tried before. Hazō had been trying various experiments with it—gross manipulations such as bending and straightening, more subtle ones such as smoothing it internally and changing its density. He had tried to purify it and found nothing to do; the material was already a single thing with not the slightest hint of other material aside from a few specks of dust on the outside.
Not allowing himself to hope, he held the crystal in his left hand and picked up one of the blocks of marble in his right. He prepared it the same way that SureWhyNotTryThisToo had done and he drew the marble into the crystal, building it piece by continuous piece into the single stroke that was Jiraiya's seal. He verified the blank, prepared himself, and reached out to it with the gentlest touch he could manage, seeking the localization of the blank.
It was there.
The blank thrummed with potential. It colored itself in his mind, a warm blue with a faint scent of apples behind it and a note that sounded suspiciously similar to Jiraiya's chuckle. The blank existed in a plane that was divorced from physicality yet somehow 'above' it, a textbook case of mildly celestine localization. The 'seasoning' that SureWhyNotTryThisToo had discovered was present and Hazō could identify it now that he had the correct version to compare to the memory. It was a simple yet incredibly delicate chakra manipulation, a supportive matrix that twisted around and through the marble 'ink' that formed the seal blank. He picked up SureWhyNotTryThisToo's abandoned brick and felt his way into it. He could see the missing chakra twist now that he knew to look for it. He reached in and tried to build it up, checking it against the correct version that lived in the crystal.
It was like trying to thread a needle while wearing leather mittens. After several frustrating minutes he gave up and set SureWhyNotTryThisToo's blank down, turning back to the Honey crystal blank he had built for himself. His chakra had drifted around very slightly, resulting in a few spots of altered chakra density. He balanced them out again and threaded his chakra into the marble of what was in fact a seal blank.
For a moment, Hazō balanced on the precipice. Should he do it? Should he attempt an actual infusion? Everything was ready—his chakra was in place and all he needed to do was give it a tiny little twist, just like he had done thousands upon thousands of times. The Out burned in his mind, reassuring him that this was right, that the pattern and the blank were correct. He could twist his chakra and be the first person in a thousand years to create a seal in three dimensions.
No.
He broke the blank in half with his mind, then slowly drew his chakra out and shut the jutsu down. He wasn't going to leave an uninfused blank lying around. He was going to take this slowly. He would write down every detail of the experience. The precise nature of the weather, every astrological influence and how they had changed across the course of the experiment, the time of day, everything. He would figure out the math that defined it all, he would discuss it all with Kagome-sensei and have his teacher check the math. He would make certain that everything was correct before he actually took that final step.
He stood up, his face splitting in a wide grin as he went to tell Kagome-sensei the news.
New stunt available!
Stunt: Earth Infusion
Cost: 125 XP
Prerequisites:
The Sealsmith stunt
Sealing: 40
Earthshaping XX or another source of infusable material. The crystal from the cave in Honey is infusable. (We're obscuring the exact level of Earthshaping required as it is information Hazō does not have access to; nonetheless, he is confident he can imbue stone with the requisite quality for making 3D seals given greater skill in Earthshaping.)
Someone to teach you OR sufficient 3D seal reference material (see below)
Effect: Grants the double-cost skill 'Primordial Sealing' at level 0. This skill allows the creation of three-dimensional seals. Hazō is confident that there is sufficient overlap with regular sealing that some of his existing knowledge will be useful with three-dimensional seals. (In mechanical terms, part of the Sealing skill will be applied as a bonus to Primordial Sealing.)
Note: Hazō has a great deal of seal knowledge and a copy of the Great Seal stored in his bloodline. The QMs are debating if this counts as "sufficient reference materials" to buy the stunt. We'll get back to you in the next day or two. [EDIT: Yes, it is sufficient. Hazō is cleared to buy the stunt.]
XP Award: 1
I originally said that this would be an interlude, which normally wouldn't get XP, but I ended up writing it as a chapter and I based it on draft plans the players wrote up so I'm going to split the difference and give it 1 XP as a base award.
"Welcome, Summoner," rumbled the low, rich voice of Pantsā of the Adamant Scales. "I see you remain hearty as ever to respond to my summons as promptly as you have. In the interest of your time, which I have no doubt that other clans have made many demands of at the Conclave, I will keep this brief."
"Polemarch," Kei said, lacing her fingers together. The summons hadn't indicated Pantsā's intentions, but even she could have discerned the general thrust of the conversation. A council of Leaf's best had convened to guide Kei away from the repercussions of her own flagrantly treasonous actions. She could only hope that they had given her enough.
"As you might have guessed, this concerns your earlier proposal. I spent a long time rolling the thought over in my head, examining it from different angles. That it appeared as bald-headed blackmail and treason at first glance did not diminish its foulness upon consideration. Yet… Its utility became clearer the longer I considered it."
Kei had learned enough not to let herself have hope while the hammer was still rising.
"Your proposal had a certain inner logic to it that I could not deny," Pantsā said. "A narrative even I could see. You violate Pangolins' laws, then justify yourself by preserving the capacity for such violations. You already have great value as a summoner, and you propose a way that might raise that value to me even higher, in exchange for merely eroding away the chains that bind you, and eroding the foundations upon which our Clan was built.
"Tell me, Nara Kei. Do human leaders do this? Do they select a person or group that they can use to violate their own laws when it is convenient to them?"
"Deniable operatives are a common Human Path contrivance, Polemarch," Kei said. "For reasons that must be plainly obvious to you, certain operations draw the risk of immense retaliation if their provenance can be associated with a nation's formal leadership, and deniable operatives evade that risk."
"One might consider why those deniable assets are not in constant use then," Pantsā said, musing. "Perhaps they suffer a tradeoff in lower reliability, or have other substantial limitations associated with those whose loyalty is merely bought and sold. Regardless, your proposal did not regard other Clans. You did not offer to appear to break our Contract, only to act against other Clans in ways that would somehow prevent Pangolin from drawing their ire. No, you highlighted your value in policing Pangolin itself. Does your Hokage have people reporting to him that undertake covert missions within his own lands, perhaps within the hidden village itself? Spying on the Hokage's brothers and assassinating his friends, while remaining solely loyal to the Hokage?"
Pantsā could not possibly have intentionally crafted such a perfect parallel. With her fears of Akane's impending potential assassination, could she somehow claim that the ANBU kept their absolute secrecy and absolute loyalty to the Hokage in order to be paragons of lawful good? That the ANBU agents, who spent so much of their time within Leaf and within Fire, would never be used against Leaf's own ninja even if those ninja posed a risk to the village and the bedrock beneath it?
"Yes, Polemarch. I know that the Hokage has such agents, though I cannot claim faithful knowledge about the true extent of their activities for obvious reasons."
"Now, tell me, Summoner. Does the knowledge that these agents might act against you make you feel safe? If your secrets are stolen or your clawmate mysteriously disappears under circumstances that you can explain in no other way, do you not feel fear of what might happen to you if you investigate or give voice to your suspicions? When the Hokage himself has motives beyond your comprehension, will you trust any institution of your village, or will you retreat to the narrow world of your siblings and blood-brothers?"
"Polemarch, the circumstances are different. On the Human Path, all know that the Hokage directly commands such agents, whereas you have the prerogative to use such agents discreetly, creating the narrative that this hypothetical foreign element was a renegade you could only barely restrain rather than an operative acting at your behest."
"Oh?" Pantsā asked. "Will that seem like a reasonable explanation to an observer when you act against Pangolin's laws after the third or fourth false 'punishment' I give you? It will not. My people are loyal, but that does not make them fools. And of course, I presume the agents you speak of are not foreign ninja. Surely the Hokage would not let a foreign element run amok among his people even in fiction. Now, my questions, Summoner."
Minami's assassination had indeed diminished Kei's trust in Jiraiya, but it did not kill the prospect of trust outright. Yet, it did erode her already fragile belief in Leaf's safety. She could not claim that she trusted Asuma. To lie was death, but any truthful answer would be treason against Leaf, and with the Lord Hokage mere dozens of miles away, she would not incriminate herself so easily. "I am afraid I cannot say, Polemarch."
"Hm," Pantsā said. "In which case, allow me to pose a different question. Imagine a distant land, with two villages ruled by two Hokage. One is a village where the Hokage is weakened by the lack of extra-legal agents. He may set the law but cannot break it, and this frustrates him. His enemies can act against him with the right level of subtlety, but his subordinates know that he is trustworthy in all things. The other village is the one which you and I have described. If you were a citizen of this distant land, which hypothetical Hokage would you rather have? The one bound by chains he himself forged, or the one who succumbs to all the vices of power?"
Kei held her tongue for a long moment. "...the former, Polemarch."
"And if you were in the former village, would you change it to the latter?"
"No, Polemarch."
"I often trust the wisdom of my subordinates, Nara Kei," Pantsā said, "especially when their unique experiences have granted them knowledge I do not possess. As a result, I deny your proposal. Frankly, I would disdain any leader with so much contempt for their own laws."
Her hastily assembled plan in the aftermath of Operation Murdersnout had failed her, then. She had not only violated Pangolin's justice, but attempted to blackmail the Polemarch to evade punishment. Pantsā could recourse to execution if he so chose, and if he had formulated that intention, she would already have lost the right to reverse summon. She would have to put her faith in her allies' mitigation strategies.
"My apologies, Polemarch. Still, I commend your sagacity and your commitment to upholding Pangolin's laws. With all due apologies for any repeated transgressions, I must insist that I receive the appropriate punishment for insubordination."
"Yes, Polemarch. As Summoner, Pangolin's authority binds me. Given the complexity of the operation to capture the Condor insurgents, my actions were legally ambiguous. Consequently, if you do not endorse my actions, my decision to abort the prisoners' execution violated Coordinator's Panditto's orders. Similarly, while I broke no law at the Conclave, I did not comply with every one of Taxiarchos Pankratos' orders. I will not lie before you and claim I have not committed insubordination. Instead, I submit to the appropriate punishment."
Her life depended upon Pantsā's desire to retain her as a Summoner. If he did…
Pantsā laughed, a low rumbling sound made all the more disturbing by its artificiality – Kei had been in Pangolin for long enough to understand that laughter was not how they expressed amusement.
"Summoner, I think you misunderstand me. I am not a slavering hyena, waiting for a pretense to execute you. I continue to see your immense potential as a summoner, and wish to help you grow. Yet, I am not fool enough to ignore your Condor sympathies."
"Polemarch-!"
"Summoner," Pantsā cut in, calm but firm. "Please. I have dealt with humans before, and I am not fool enough to be deceived by one so young with such a consistent pattern of behavior. I do not mean to accuse you. War is harsh especially for a child, and I cannot fault you for not knowing all that the Condors have done to us, the decades and centuries long history of our, yes, mutual feud. Still, you must learn Pangolin ways or else you will forever be an outsider. I do not want you, Nara Kei, to perpetually be an outcast because you cannot accept our culture. I want you to identify with your clawmates and recognize the value of their prosperity.
"Still, your argument coincides with my natural inclination. Very well, Summoner. As a punishment for insubordination, you will do a tour on the front lines without pay or benefits. As it has been left ambiguous for now, your rank will be Ypolochagos, and you will command a squad of three to five Pangolins of my choice. Perhaps I will select Pangolins with histories of insubordination themselves. You will defend our towns against the relentless onslaught of the Hyena raiders. I trust you will find yourself at least able to fight to defend the weak and helpless civilians of Pangolin, merely trying to live an ordinary life."
"Polemarch." The conversational branch had yielded a suboptimal outcome, but far from the worst (in which Ami, Hazō, Noburi and Mari would merely see her Summoning Scroll appear from thin air and clatter to the ground). "As you indicated, the Conclave occupies my attention at present. I will gladly forsake it at your command, but I would appreciate clarity on the tour's duration."
"I see, Summoner. I will not deny the potential importance of the Dragons if Enma can indeed confirm all your brother has claimed, and your work there is important. I will suspend this punishment until all relevant affairs have concluded, and you can afford to spend several months uninterrupted leading this squad."
She would have to endure months uninterrupted on the Seventh Path, alongside Pangolins with a plausible cover to disobey her orders. Pantsā could secretly instruct them to assassinate her at any time, and revoke her ability to reverse summon. Yet, she could not object at this juncture.
"In the meantime, you will obey orders from Taxiarchos Pankratos and any superior officer at the Conclave and break no law of Pangolin. Additionally, you will not communicate with or interact with any Condor, nor any Pangolin who is an active custodian of a Condor. Is that clear?"
"Yes, Polemarch."
"Very well. I do believe you will truly become clawmates with those you fight scale-by-scale, and that you could make a fine summoner one day. You have been separate from us for too long. As with all things, growth takes time. Until your affairs at the Conclave are concluded, you are dismissed."
Contact and debrief Confute. Find out who tied her bonds/arranged for her to attack Hazo. Claim an offsite interrogation was necessary to avoid interference.
Conjura could not be reached during the relevant timeframe.
Meet with the Capybaras - be polite, offer gifts, discuss the Dragons. Tell our story and ask if it fits with their lore/legends. Have a Rat make an introduction if they're willing.
Do the same with the Mara, pending Asuma's approval.
Given its plot importance, this will not be written unless it's on-screen.
With the main plot continuing to stretch into the future, we want to wrap up the Conclave arc quickly. Therefore, the next Conclave chapter will finish the arc, and will contain Enma's arrival. If you have any particular things you want to do before then, or responses to Enma's arrival you want to have prepared, then please include them in your final [Conclave]-tagged plan.
Enma's plan is to arrive, weave a wonderful story for everyone, and end by telling them to move like their lives depend on it. They'll convince their Bosses to return to Pangolin, and once the Bosses all arrive, Enma will pull together the Crusade. Hazou has two main roles in this: first, he should reinforce Enma's message in private to whichever Clans he befriended and successfully scared with tales of the Dragons, and second, he will need to testify before the Bosses when they arrive. If you want Hazou to do anything above and beyond this, you'll need to specify it.
For next Wednesday's vote close deadline (noon London), please write a plan with the [Conclave] tag. For example:
[][Conclave] Chill out
You've done your part. Relax till Enma arrives, then go along with what he says.
GM-had-fun XP: 1 (the plan was basically "hey NPCs, solve this problem for us through an arduous planning meeting", but the real scene was fun to write)
Brevity XP: 1 (to be bulk awarded at the end of the arc)
Noburi sat quietly in the corner, trying to look like an indefatigable, ever-reliable Gōketsu pillar of support. The person Akane had been. The person the clan needed right now. Not the person he actually was, hurting and confused, and not sure exactly who he was angriest with.
Mari looked exhausted. Her perfect makeup did nothing about the slumped body language she was only willing to show in front of family. Kei looked remote the way she did after too much time using the Frozen Skein, when the answers didn't come and she had to be yanked out by (very gentle, non-contact) force before she risked overstaying her welcome in that scary inner world. Snowflake mostly looked anxious, though there was a spark of happiness in there at being invited to participate in a Gōketsu council that lifted Noburi's heart just the teeniest bit.
Hazō actually looked almost cheerful after his day of sealing research. The flame of anger inside Noburi burned a little brighter.
"Thank you for coming," Hazō said. "I know this was short-notice, but I really needed to get ahead of the latest crisis. Hopefully, I caught it in time to prevent the worst of the damage, but I have no idea how to handle the rest, and I'm going to need your help."
Mari sat up a little straighter. "You mean you made the announcement this evening? I'm pretty sure the worst of the damage has been done already, but thank the Sage that nightmare is over. What did you tell them?"
"Tell who about what?" Hazō asked. "My priority's been making Yuno doesn't tell anyone. That's what I've called you guys to follow through on."
Yuno? Well, he was too late for that. Yuno had already told Noburi. Told him that her broken instincts were backed by a real-life god now. Told him that his years of work trying to set her free had gone up in smoke, just like that. Told him that Hazō had put his seal of approval on the whole thing. He would hear Hazō out, because that was what reasonable, level-headed people did, and the clan needed Noburi to be reasonable and level-headed more than ever. But if Hazō couldn't provide a damn good reason for why he'd pushed Yuno with all his strength instead of pulling her back from the edge…
"I fail to see Yuno's relevance to the latest crisis," Kei said. "I assumed the purpose of this meeting was to optimise damage control for your inexplicable failure to rescue your and the clan's reputation while the wounds were fresh and the rot spirits had yet to take hold."
"I was going to get to that later," Hazō said. "It's important, sure, but not next to saving our family from danger–and spiritual danger is every bit as bad as any other kind."
Noburi exchanged glances with the others. They were all thinking the same thing–even him, Yuno's Sage-damned husband–but with both Kei and Mari around, this was one job he didn't have to take on himself.
"Not important?" Kei repeated in a voice that made the ice-blasted aftermath of Hazō's epic sealing failure look like a caldera. "Hazō, the Nara have been fielding inquiry after inquiry with regard to your declarations of Jashin worship. Some have sought information on Jashin, since it is unprecedented for a Leaf clan head to publicly confirm a claim of heresy, and a handful of intelligent shinobi seek understanding before condemnation, in case the obscure religion of Jashinism is in fact somehow compatible with the Will of Fire in the same way as the Church of Youth. Many more question whether the Nara are aware of the truth of the situation, and indeed whether our continued trust in you indicates a willingness to tolerate or even embrace a heretical faith. I myself, already in an uncomfortable position due to my deliberate and public violation of certain religious norms proclaimed by the Hagoromo, combined with my incompetence at feigning devotion to the Will of Fire, have been led to condemn Jashinism in the most extreme terms before I had a chance to coordinate with you, creating an inescapable contrast with your inaction. Ino navigates this battlefield more deftly than I ever could, and it is just as well, since as your lover she is somehow expected to be aware of the detail of your religious inclinations."
"What are you talking about?" Hazō demanded. "I was facing a psychotic demigod who thought I was on his side and would blatantly kill me on the spot if I turned him down. Obviously I'd say whatever kept me alive long enough for him to leave. How could any sane ninja do anything else?"
"Obviously," Kei agreed. "We have all been labouring to promote this understanding, which should be intuitive to say the least, among the general public. You will note a lack of mobs with torches and pitchforks gathering outside the compound. Those less trusting, however, observe your priors to be terrible, not only as a foreigner coming to the Will of Fire only at an advanced age, but because they now recall past acts of blasphemy which were considered too minor to call for retribution at the time, such as the ill-fated night on which you openly accused Leaf's greatest heroes of homosexuality, or more major ones such as the fact that you consorted with Hidan directly in the past and returned with the extraordinary boon of a summoning scroll.
"Then there is your fierce feud with the Hagoromo. On the first day after Hidan's visit, they were in fact all but silent. I nearly dared to hope for the impossible, that this latest claim was too extreme even for them, but it seems they were merely stunned, having previously accused you of many and varied efforts to undermine Leaf's moral fabric, but never gone as far as to suspect you of membership of a cult inimical to Leaf and the WIll of Fire. Now, they have elected to dedicate themselves to the cause, labouring to foreground in public perception the fact that Hidan sought out you and you specifically, implicitly expecting your allegiance rather than demanding it, thereby 'proving' your conversion at some point in the past. Whether they sincerely believe they have finally received an explanation for your iniquities or are merely seizing a unique opportunity, I cannot say."
"Don't get me wrong," Mari said. "I've been on my feet for two days straight trying to fix this mess. But at every turn, people are asking me, 'Why isn't Lord Gōketsu doing the other thing any sane ninja in his situation would do, and saying all this himself, together with a furious denunciation of Jashinism, the second Hidan's out of earshot? Why doesn't he loathe the thought of being forced to blaspheme against the Will of Fire and being associated with that villain's delusions for a second longer than he has to? Why isn't he afraid that people who already distrust him will think he was being serious?' And… I've got nothing. Everyone was paying attention to you the day after, so everyone knows you went out on a day trip outside the village–the day after you came back from a jaunt with Hidan covered in blood. Everyone knows you were away today as well, even if nobody was dumb enough to try to spy on your sealing research.
"We should've taken control of the narrative the very first morning. You should have gone out and told everyone that Hidan's an evil son of a bitch, and you were just playing along out of fear, and you're so sorry for the words that left your mouth, and if Leaf religion demands that you go through some kind of purification ritual or whatever, you will set your business aside and do it that very day because nothing matters more than being righteous before the Will of Fire. I don't know if there's actually a ritual like that–at the very least, Leaf infiltrators don't have to go through one when we get home–but if there is, the Hagoromo would claim you don't get exemption like we do because it wasn't a Hokage-sanctioned mission. If needed, they'd make something up, and it would be awful, like Noburi and Yuno's wedding, but once you got through it alive, that would be you having paid your dues and nobody would get to bring the incident up again. At least until the next time you did something massively heretical."
"But what about Asuma?" Hazō asked impatiently. "He knows I'm not a real Jashin cultist, and that's obvious from the fact that he hasn't lifted a finger against me. Why isn't everyone following his lead?"
"He hasn't said a word," Mari said, "which is the smart thing for him to do. If Hidan comes back and finds out you've publicly denounced Jashin, you might be able to talk your way out of that–ironically, with the same excuse you should be using now, that you were saying whatever you had to because you're no good to Jashin if you're executed for heresy. On the other hand, if word gets out that you've been pretending to be a cultist with the Hokage's go-ahead all along, then Hidan might just kill you on sight. Hell, one of the other Akatsuki might do it instead if they believe it and decide Hidan's religious ambitions are creating a security risk.
"Now, him not chucking you in a killbox is a message in and of itself, but no one's quite sure what it says beyond 'I'm not killing this guy, so nobody else gets to either', which is nice because it protects you from getting assassinated by some random fanatic. There's a bunch of theories, one of which is that you're infiltrating Akatsuki on his orders, and another is that he's turning a blind eye because you're too valuable to Leaf. That's not good for him politically, but as long as he doesn't move against the Gōketsu, which he won't, it's not our problem."
"People are looking funny at me at the hospital," Noburi added. "What are the odds that the head of the clan is a Jashin cultist, but everybody who obeys him is pure as the driven snow? Hazō, I won't be able to do my job if people don't trust me. Literally, I can't be a medic if people think I might sacrifice them to the blood god while they're vulnerable. Even if it's just the dumb ones who believe that crap–in fact, it's worse that it's the dumb ones, because they're more likely to end up in the hospital to begin with."
"Relatedly," Kei said, "I would emphatically advise you to speak to Jin and the others. Regardless of whether they are personally inclined to believe the accusations, they chose to trust in the Gōketsu and accept our dubious and unstable reputation as their own. That you have chosen to ignore the situation in favour of personal interests, despite the fact that the clan's reputation directly shapes their lives as well, may be construed as a betrayal of your responsibilities as their clan head. While this is unlikely to be a tipping point–at least unless they actually believe you to be a Jashin worshipper–bear in mind that the absolute nature of clan head authority leaves them with no practical means of recourse against you other than leaving the clan."
"Wait, what?" Noburi and Hazō asked in unison.
"I have researched the matter extensively," Kei said. "Please believe me that their return to the KEI is both legally possible and potentially cataclysmic. In fact, as a KEI coordinator, it is my role to support them should they choose to embark on this course, though as a Gōketsu I will refrain from actively bringing the option to their attention."
"You should consider the Gōketsu civilians as well," Snowflake added. "While they are less indoctrinated in the Will of Fire than shinobi, and many possess great loyalty to you personally, they are doubtless anxious and in need of guidance from the one man in whose power it is to dismiss these allegations and reassure them that the clan will remain stable and safe from repercussions."
"Is this for real?" Hazō asked. "Are we actually at risk of losing Gōketsu clan secrets to the KEI because Hidan happened to turn up and force me to roll with his preaching? After everything we've done for them?"
"Haru still badly resents you for the yakuza incident," Mari said, "and remember that he was the one who forced you to confess to writing the letter to Akatsuki to begin with. He knows you're prepared to hang out with Hidan of your own initiative. Mio blames us for failing to protect her sister, and is half-convinced that the 'good stuff' we keep back from the adoptees would have made the difference–which, in fairness, who knows? Plus, she's generally in a huge amount of pain and I wouldn't rely on her to make rational decisions. The others have their own bones to pick, and none of it looks like it's likely to blow up in our faces for now, but every incident like this is a little counterweight to everything the Gōketsu have to offer, and they stack."
"I think," Snowflake said, "this is an unfortunate time for them to reevaluate the comparative benefits of being a Gōketsu. The Gōketsu's points of appeal are Uplift and a readiness to bestow the majority of clan benefits shortly after adoption, compared to traditional clan behaviour of forcing adoptees to spend years earning access to the higher ones, if it is granted at all. However, the KEI and the Triple Disaster have complicated matters. Clan adoption is gradually becoming less appealing for both practical and ideological reasons, especially if clans are expected to withhold many of its potential benefits. Yet drastic loss of manpower means clans must adopt more shinobi than before, both to propagate their bloodlines without issue in the long term and to regain their martial power as soon as possible–and clan secrets are of no service to this goal if they are denied to the only people alive to use them."
"In other words," Kei said, "while I suspect the Gōketsu still treat their adoptees better than many, the difference is being eroded. It is not implausible for the likes of Mio to believe that adoption by a different clan was both realistic and would have yielded more valuable secrets which could have ensured her sister's survival, while at the same time not suffering from our chronic issues such as a reputation for unpredictability or exclusionary duality of structure. Needless to say, we cannot allow her to be adopted by another clan now, at least not under a conventional arrangement which would allow her new clan head to command her to surrender Gōketsu secrets. However, as I anticipated this possibility some time ago, other contingencies are in progress."
The room was silent for a while.
"In short," Noburi said, "make the damn announcement, make sure the clanspeople who aren't in this room right now know beyond the shadow of a doubt that everything is going to be all right, and come up with one hell of an excuse for dragging your heels on an accusation of heresy. Is that everything?"
Hazō frowned. "Noburi, are you OK?"
Noburi took a few moments to gather himself. He needed to be calm and even-minded for this, or at least to pretend to be calm and even-minded. Venting his feelings wouldn't get him any closer to finding out why Hazō would do what he'd done, much less how to save his beloved.
"I talked to Yuno last night…" Noburi began.
-o-
I will get to the Yuno scene when possible, and award XP then. In the meantime, voting is open and closes on
