"And how was your date with my sister?"
It was odd, Hazō reflected, how he had never anticipated the Mori Ice erupting into the outer world and attempting to destroy reality.
"It wasn't a date," he replied. "It was an instance of two individuals spending a very brief time together in order to get a sense of each other's personalities with an eye towards future
diplomatic and only diplomatic relations between one said individual and the clan of the other."
"Hmph."
"On that note, she gave me something to give to you." He extended the bag containing Ami's probably-poisoned gift. "Before you take it: her behavior concerned me, and I am worried that the gift is intended to be destructive for you, not constructive. I think it would be a good idea to show it to Jiraiya and ask if he thinks it would be good for you to have it. Despite my thoughts, the gift is for you and it's your choice."
Keiko shot him a look, snatched the bag, and tore into the contents...which proved to be a single sheet of paper.
"What is it?" Noburi asked, trying to read over her shoulder without getting too close.
Keiko turned, pressing the note against her chest and glaring indiscriminately at both her brothers. "It's nothing."
"Keiko, it doesn't work like that," Noburi said reprovingly. "As much of an idiot as Hazō is, he's pretty good at spotting people being manipulative or deceptive. If he thinks this might be dangerous for you, we should know. We're not going to stop you from doing whatever you think best, but you aren't going to stop us from backing you up, either."
She considered that for a moment. "A time and a place," she said grudgingly. "Presumably for us to meet."
Hazō and Noburi exchanged glances filled with equal parts hope, confusion, and fear.
"That's...good?" Noburi said. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"
"I shall be fine. And I do not wish to discuss this further."
More glances were exchanged.
"Okay," Hazō said. "Well, let me run down what happened, because I need some help figuring out what in the name of the Sage just happened." He quickly ran through the events of the meeting.
Keiko and Noburi both sat silent at the end.
"Wow," Noburi said at last.
"Yeah," Hazō replied.
Noburi thought carefully, then turned to their sister. "Keiko, don't take this the wrong way, but I have to ask...is your sister right in the head? I mean, based on what Hazō says, she's either crazy as a bag of wet cats or she's just acting like it to make sure that no one can predict her. Which is it?"
Keiko glared, then stood up and stomped out of the room.
"Definitely the cats," Noburi said.
Hazō nodded.
o-o-o-o
"The conquering Hokage returns! Where's my lunch!"
"In here!"
Jiraiya swept into the dining nook with a grin on his face, his robes perfectly arranged. The grin rapidly fell when he saw his children lined up beside a table covered in seals.
"What's all this?"
"Lunch," Hazō said, gesturing to the seals. "What are you in the mood for? We've got spicy noodles, chicken soup, chakra vole stew, seafood chowder with pig brain, cheese noodles, ham and cheese sandwich on hard roll with spinach and tomato, meatloaf, teriyaki chicken—
"Teriyaki chicken," Jiraiya said quickly, before Hazō could get through the other two-thirds of the array. "Thanks." He picked up the relevant seal and opened it, immediately digging into the suddenly-appearing and piping-hot dish. "So, why are the three of you standing here looking serious?"
The three genin settled around the table and each took a meal seal. Keiko (sweet-and-sour grouper and side salad) and Noburi (steak sandwich with fermented cheese, fried potatoes on the side) started eating while Hazō gathered up the rest, except for the one marked 'turkey soup' that Jiraiya snatched before he could pick it up. Once they were stowed away he activated an Air Dome over the table; Jiraiya raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
"I wanted to tell you about my meeting with Ami," Hazō said, unsealing some fish chowder for himself. "Her behavior was bizarre, and I could not get a read on her at all. First—"
By now the recitation, thoroughly rehearsed on the way home from the actual meeting and then presented once already, was familiar and quick. Jiraiya questioned certain details, then fell silent and stared into the middle distance in thought, his chopsticks forgotten in one hand.
"Well, I guess that explains it," he said to himself. "Crazier than a bag of wet cats. No wonder I can't read her."
Keiko bristled; Jiraiya took note.
"Sorry," he said quickly, raising one hand in apology. "No offense intended. 'Crazy' may be a strong word. She's oriented to reality and capable of functioning in society and as a ninja, so 'crazy' isn't a perfect fit. Honestly, it sounds like a really bad case of being a jōnin. Are there any particular tragedies in her past that might have rattled her?"
The reply was slow to arrive and sullen when it did. "None of which I am aware."
"Huh. Okay." He thought for a moment longer, then shrugged slightly and went back to his food.
Hazō waited to make sure the subject was closed, then moved on to the next item in his (purely mental, because he didn't need the lecture) checklist.
"A few other questions for you, sir," he said carefully. "First, some easy things. Are you okay with us going out and buying a bunch of clothes to use for future disguises?"
Jiraiya didn't look up from the soup he had moved on to after snorfling the teriyaki chicken. "Sure," he said. "Probably a good idea to buy more once we're back in Leaf, too."
"Thank you. Would you like us to pick up something for Mari-sensei from you? She'd probably like it."
"Get your own gifts, I already bought mine."
"Heh. Yes, sir. Okay, next item: I'd like to acquire some merchants, performers, that kind of thing."
Jiraiya looked up, frowning. "You know we don't do slavery in Leaf, right?"
Hazō shook his head. "Not like that. I mean give them writs of patronage, or a promise of premium prices in exchange for exclusively selling to the Hokage's clan and those we authorize, that sort of thing. Basically, start building some sources of income that aren't the pangolins. And an intelligence network that the three of us can get some practice with while not risking yours. Plus, performers who like us would be good PR."
Jiraiya's eyebrows shot up. "That's...a really good thought, Hazō. Yes, go do that."
Hazō grinned. "Thank you, sir."
Noburi paused, bite of sandwich half-taken, and gave Hazō a jealous glance before ruefully shaking his head and going back to his food.
"On the same lines," Hazō continued, "what would you think about sponsoring Kurosawa Shin as a junior diplomat to Leaf? It would jumpstart his career and we could get some major favors out of him as a result. Also, it gives us a foot in the door with the Kurosawa."
"Wait, you want to work
with the Kurosawa?" Noburi asked. "I thought you hated their guts."
"With the firey burning passion of a thousand suns," Hazō agreed instantly. "Doesn't mean that we can afford to ignore them when one of them is the Mizukage."
"Hm." Jiraiya pondered for a moment, then looked at Noburi. "I don't know the kid. Is this a good idea?"
Noburi looked startled to be called on, but rallied quickly. "I'd say so, yes. He's smart enough to realize that playing it straight is better for him in the long term, and he can be surprisingly decent. Of course, he and his team also ambushed Mr. Mew here and left him for potentially-dead in an underground hole filled with traps. He might not have been the mastermind on that one, though."
Jiraiya nodded. "Okay. Keiko, any objections?"
"No."
"So mote it be. I'll send an ANBU to invite him."
"Thank you sir. One last thought I wanted to share: That sound-amplification jutsu they had at the tournament could be dangerous if anyone has a sonic attack. With all the Kage and important people in one place, someone with the resources and desire could decapitate the entire Elemental Nations in one attack. Someone like that group you've been looking for, maybe?"
Jiraiya stopped eating and rubbed his jaw. "That's...a good point. It seems unlikely, for a variety of reasons, but I can't rule it out. I'll give everyone Banshee Slayers. Thanks." He glanced at the clock on the wall, then hurriedly picked up his soup bowl and chugged the contents. "Time to get changed. We need to be at the closing ceremonies in thirty minutes."
The room emptied faster than a Substituting ninja, all four Gōketsu fleeing to their rooms to grab more formal clothes.
o-o-o-o
The sun was balanced on the horizon when the ceremonies began. Torches and lamps were everywhere to push back the gloaming and people were bundled up against the evening's chill. There was no wind whatsoever and the temperature was almost above freezing, making it relatively pleasant. Furs plus some heated rocks slipped inside the jacket left people comfortable enough.
The ceremony began with trumpets rampant, their brassy cries ringing across the landscape and making weird echoes as they passed over the quarry where the tournament fights had happened. An octet of Mist ninja jogged out from behind the stands, juggling fireballs back and forth. They turned flips, handsprings, and other acrobatics. They passed fire from hand to hand, lighting up the dark with the power of chakra directed by will into fire. Behind them, other ninja sent colored sparks and brilliant lightning bolts into the sky. The trumpets sounded again and again, punctuating and connecting the entire performance.
Eventually, the fireworks came to an end in a massive display: an eagle made of flame fought with a dragon made of lightning. The two swirled and twisted, buffeting one another with wings and talons, neither able to land a decisive blow. Finally, the eagle seized the upper talon by catching its enemy's neck in the eagle's beak and shaking it, then latching on with the talons and tearing the lightning monster apart in a screaming orgy of destruction that left the audience ooohing and aaahing.
The lightning dragon dissolved and the eagle mantled its wings, firey head thrown back in a scream of victory...and then vanished.
The instant that it did, every torch was extinguished simultaneously. Everyone's night vision had been ruined by the battle, so for a few short seconds everyone sat in utter blackness.
And then light was back, in the form of a dozen large lanterns with reflectors set to direct the light forward in a brilliant flood that highlighted the three teenagers standing on the winners' platform that had until now been concealed with black velvet curtains but now stood bare to view.
Keiko stood on the highest step, her face blank and body language closed away.
To her right, on a slightly lower step, stood Aburame Shino. His high collar and large-lensed smoked glasses concealed any hint of his thoughts.
To Keiko's left, on a lower-yet step, stood Nara Shikamaru. He looked thoroughly disgusted to be there, and was occasionally shooting nervous glances at Keiko, while carefully staying as far away from her as he could while remaining on his step.
"Ladies and gentlemen!" echoed the announcer's voice, coming from somewhere in the darkness. "Welcome, to the closing ceremonies of the Chūnin Exams! I give you tonight's Master of Ceremonies: Momochi Zabuza!
Hazō stiffened; the sound of splintering wood from above and slightly behind him hinted at the fact that Jiraiya might have had a similar reaction and accidentally broken the railing of the Kage Box.
Another floodlight came up, revealing a second platform atop which stood a giant of a man. His normally-bare chest was wrapped in winter furs and his face was covered in his trademark bandages, but there was no mistaking his identity. Few men towered as high, or had a build as massive. None had Kubikiribōchō, Momochi's legendary sword that was taller than a man and broader than a shield and said to drink the blood and souls of its victims even as it rended their flesh with an edge made of demons' teeth. The weapon in question stood beside him, point-down and held in place by the casual grip of one calloused hand on its stick-thin handle.
"How in the everloving fuck...?" Noburi murmured, probably unaware that he'd spoken aloud.
"Citizens of Mist, and the Elemental Nations!" Momochi called. "Welcome, as my compatriot said, to the concluding ceremonies of the Chūnin Exams.
"Over the past two months, the finest genin in the world have competed. Simply by being here, they demonstrated their skill. By necessity, their numbers dwindled at each new challenge—such is the way of the world. Those who fall short are destroyed, those who measure up advance.
"The challenges they faced were varied, because such is the way of the world. Those with skills too narrow or too rigid are destroyed, those who adapt advance.
"The majority of the challenges they faced were not about combat." He paused, waiting for the rustle of surprise to settle down.
"Combat is one of the most critical ninja skills, and simultaneously one of the least important. Kubikiribōchō would do no good if I lacked the tracking skill to find my target, or the stealth to approach him before he flees, or the tactical sense to choose my ground and analyze my opponent's weaknesses."
Hazō shuddered as a freezing sense of spiritual annihilation rippled past him. The feeling was unmistakeable to anyone who had been present the night that Jiraiya returned from what Hazō had come to think of as "The Battle of the Gods": Jiraiya was in a towering rage, only a fingernail-grip preventing him from murdering absolutely every-fucking-thing. The only surprising thing was how well he was doing at leashing his fury; everyone within fifty feet was shivering and looking around nervously, but no one had actually died, or even passed out.
Momochi paused, eyes locked unflinchingly on the Kage box. After a few seconds, Jiraiya's desire for destruction was wrestled back into its box and the night was once again normal.
"Yes, combat is critical...and also of lesser importance," Momoichi said again. "Hence why the first four events challenged the genins' ability to think, interact, protect, and gather information. The fifth event challenged teamwork and strategy over raw personal combat ability. This is as it should be, as ninja typically work in teams.
"The tournament, however, was the final test. There will be times in every ninja's career when they stand alone. Friendless, without teammate or teacher. Perhaps they have been tasked to delay a superior attacker while others escape. Perhaps they have been sent to locate and destroy traitors to their nation. Whatever the reason, every ninja will stand alone and fight for their life at some point. This is what the tournament tests."
He turned and stepped off his platform, moving towards the tournament victors with steps the solidity of which made him seem more real than the world around him.
He stopped in front of Nara, angling his body slightly so as not to block the audience's view. From inside his jacket, Momochi produced a box made of a golden brown wood that had been polished until it shone. He opened it, extracted the gleaming copper medal within, and held the ribbon up, spreading it wide so that he could slip it over Nara's head.
"Nara Shikamaru, chūnin of Leaf, you are third in the Chūnin Exams tournament. There are only two genin in your generation that are your superiors. Go forth in violence and bring honor to your village." He extended the wooden box that was the case for Nara's medal.
Nara took the case with a nod but said nothing.
Momochi took two steps to the side to stand in front of Aburame. He towered over the boy despite the fact that Aburame was on a step. Aburame shifted his stance slightly, a trace of wariness in his posture, and Hazō imagined he could hear a faint buzzing. Real or imagined, Momochi made no reaction, merely producing a polished silver medal and slipping it over Aburame's head.
"Aburame Shino, chūnin of Leaf, you are second in the Chūnin Exams tournament. There is only one genin in your generation that is your superior. Go forth in violence and bring honor to your village." He extended the wooden box that was the case for Aburame's medal and waited for the boy to take it.
Finally, Momochi turned to face Keiko. The winner's step was high enough that she was actually at eye level with him, but the contrast could not have been more striking: the massive adult huntsman against the waifish teenage girl.
Momochi produced the final medal, this one of pure gold. He started to loop it over Keiko's neck but paused when she jerked backwards.
Hazō held his breath, hoping against hope that Keiko would not panic at the possibility of being touched. Nothing good could come of it; the absolute best case (Keiko running into the night) would be a crippling humiliation for Jiraiya. The worst case (Keiko summoning her tessera and ordering murder on all who threatened physical contact) could legitimately cause a World War.
Momochi may have sensed the seriousness of the moment, because he did not move until Keiko reached up and carefully took the medal from him, slipping it over her own head and nodding in quiet thanks. The Swordsman nodded in return and stepped slightly back.
"Gōketsu Keiko, chūnin of Leaf. You are the most powerful genin of your generation. Your skills, your intelligence, and your mastery of a summoning scroll have set you on the path to being one of the most powerful ninja in the world, regardless of age. Continue as you have begun and there will be legends told about you for centuries. Go forth in violence and bring honor to your village."
He saluted her, left palm over right fist, and gave a shallow bow that was incredible honor from an elite warrior to a newly-minted chūnin. Keiko's eyes went wide; after a moment she returned the salute and bowed, far more deeply than had Momoichi. She did not, however, allow her eyes to leave his at any point during the bow.
XP AWARD: 1 - 1 (plan in 301-400 word range) = 0
FP Award: 0
It is now about 7 o'clock and you're back at the inn with the rest of the Leaf contingent. The plan is that that you will be in Mist tonight and tomorrow and will start for Leaf the following morning, along with the other genin and a majority of the senior ninja. The trip is planned to take about 3 days, since no one wants to push the pace. Jiraiya may or may not stay a few extra days, depending on the state of negotiations. If he does then he will keep a small handful of ANBU and/or elite jōnin with him. (Probably people like Kakashi and Gai.)
At least, that was the plan as of four hours ago, before the closing ceremonies and Zabuza's return from the supposed dead. No one has explicitly changed it yet but everyone knows that things will not go quite as expected.
You probably will still have tomorrow to do whatever you want in Mist. We'll assume that you buy clothes, gear, blah blah blah, so there's no need to list those things. If you want to recruit merchants or performers, this is your chance. If you want to talk to Shin about becoming the junior ambassador, you can.
You are allowed to go out tonight as long as you stay in groups of at least four, one of them a senior ninja. Higashino, the ANBU who acted as Keiko's manservant during the gambling scam, is willing to escort you.
Vote time! What do you do?
Voting ends on Wednesday, March 13, 2019, at 12pm London time.
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