- Location
- The state of Paranoia
Could you venture a PONWOG about what a dead body would look like, coming out?
Would it be something along the lines of lacerated skin but not a lot of internal damage, short of whatever was already there?
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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
Would it be something along the lines of lacerated skin but not a lot of internal damage, short of whatever was already there?
Obviously am not EJ, but the damage examples in the seals doc are all crushing/blunt in nature rather than cutting.
Also, we'd probably have to test whether damage is uniform or randomly distributed, or somehow specifically distributed.
- Location
- The state of Paranoia
The elders may see all of the hardships as necessary in defending their faith from us. And hardships do tend to strengthen religious attitudes, so it's possible that it's all just cementing Ritsuo's power, at least until someone comes along who they think can 'defend their faith' while also increasing the Hagoromos' wealth and power.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
For Mari blasting you? No, because it was self-induced.
You've actually seen it onscreen. Check the chapter where Arikada pulled corpses out of her storage scrolls.
I don't believe we've ever defined it, but my feeling has always been that it's concussive and avulsive, not shearing or piercing. That's ponwog, though.
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Hazou's socials are bad (for a teenage clan head), but not non-existent. We don't need to get Ami, Mari, or Akane involved. Hazou can teach Harumitsu better social skills (esp Deceit, and there's been discussion on discord about raising Rapport/Empathy and/or Presence) on his own.
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- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
It's always sad to see the we can't social meme pop up after all this time. Hopefully after this one it will die
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I feel like we were talking fairly recently about what we should expect people to keep their socials at, given that if you aren't a social specialist you're probably not going to have them at the top of your pyramid, in favor of survival skills.
So if a genin has a combat suite (Alertness, Athletics, attack skill) in the 20s-30s, I'd suspect they would have socials for supports in the 0s and 10s. Average Chuunin with combat skills in the 40s-50s would likely have support socials in the 20s-30s, and an average jonin with combat skills in the 50s-60s-70s, including CR and a small array of ninjutsu now, I would expect them to have socials in the 30s-40s range. I'm not sure how accurate others feel this is, but assuming that it's decently accurate Hazou's skills aren't that bad for a chuunin. The issue arises from him also being a clan head which necessitates better scores than the average.
If you want to see bad socials, look at Akane and Kei... woof
@eaglejarl how do you (ponwog) feel about us taking control of Harumitsu's character sheet?
We are actually doing this?
After complaining about our multitude of spinning plates for so long, after complaining about social kaiju and bureaucracy, we're creating a social kaiju of our own by taking on the Hagoromo while they have reduced themselves to ridiculous joke villains?
If you want to put everything aside and take turns punching something you have to pretend is a credible threat in that context, feel free.
I personally want to go to hell, resurrect Jiraiya, and never have to deal with clan head social kaiju again.
The most concentrated fun and satisfaction I had in the quest was when we were doing awesome stuff because we either didn't have to care about all that, or we had someone who was a god at it doing the caring for us. Consider the Dragonquest Travel, steamrolling Chuunin Exams, skywalkers + adoption, etc.
This middle management stuff is a good part of why I support full steam ahead on Necromancy as much as possible.
After complaining about our multitude of spinning plates for so long, after complaining about social kaiju and bureaucracy, we're creating a social kaiju of our own by taking on the Hagoromo while they have reduced themselves to ridiculous joke villains?
If you want to put everything aside and take turns punching something you have to pretend is a credible threat in that context, feel free.
I personally want to go to hell, resurrect Jiraiya, and never have to deal with clan head social kaiju again.
The most concentrated fun and satisfaction I had in the quest was when we were doing awesome stuff because we either didn't have to care about all that, or we had someone who was a god at it doing the caring for us. Consider the Dragonquest Travel, steamrolling Chuunin Exams, skywalkers + adoption, etc.
This middle management stuff is a good part of why I support full steam ahead on Necromancy as much as possible.
I don't care about clan war with the Hagoromo, I just think it would be a cute spoon-unintensive side-plot to train our apprentice. I don't want to prioritise it over necromancy (the only reason I can bear to be here), though.
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Setting up a necromancy joke here.
- Location
- Texas
I agree that it would be a cute scene. I think that Hazō's ability to use existing seals in novel ways is his greatest strength. I would definitely vote for a plan that attempted to teach or showcase this ability to Harumitsu. Maybe something like:
[∆] Harumitsu Training Session
- Get permission to shadow a mednin in the hospital alongside Harumitsu.
- Look for ways to improve conditions with seals.
- Air Purifier seals throughout to discourage illness spirits.
- Modified macerator to mix medications.
- [Insert ideas here]
- Encourage Harumitsu to share his ideas with Hazō.
- Don't worry about whether it's possible right now, just point out things that could be fixed or improved.
- Location
- The Soviet Republic of Canuckistan
- Pronouns
- He/Him
We were talking about setting up (as in, a throwaway line to Gaku that we then follow up on an in-game month later) civilian therapy initiatives in Discord (at least, giving some extra funding to the people who currently serve as the 'go talk to this person when you've suffered a personal tragedy or need advice' folks) and this came to mind.
Following up on whether or not this is still going on or whether or not it was effective would be an idea, and it would be both cheap and easy.
- Location
- United States
1. Name - Sealteach Perpetual Motion Machine
2. Brief idea - A wheel using gravity and timed release/resealing of large rocks to continue in perpetuity.
3. Applications and opportunities - Infinite millstone, bellows, buzzsaw, etc.
4. How would it work?
Wheel on a spoke, wheel is free moving and above the ground.
There are two storage seals at opposite ends of the wheel, each at the bottom of an angled bucket connected to the wheel that can contain a boulder of X size through a descent of 1/2 rotation of the wheel.
There is an upgraded LBF/Tripwire seal connecting the two seals, set to trigger them to seal/unseal simultaneously when an item crosses the line between them.
The wheel has a piece that juts out enough to cross the line and trigger the upgraded LBF/Tripwire seal and trigger the sealing/unsealing. The placement of the piece would trigger the sealing/unsealing shortly after the buckets reach apex/nadir.
Bucket at top contains a boulder, it rotates the wheel as the weight causes the bucket to descend, converting potential energy into kinetic energy, moments after nadir the LBF/Tripwire Seal is triggered, storing the boulder (which may actually be enough to get the empty bucket to complete the rotation, if someone wants to crunch the numbers). Simultaneously, the other Storage Seal unstores the boulder into the bucket near the apex, restarting the cycle.
Harvest as much energy as you desire from the rotational energy as long as there's still enough to complete the rotation.
5. What underlying nontrivial technical properties does this project require?
An upgrade to the Tripwire Seals that has them repeat infinitely rather than being a single use trigger. Can also be a specialty version of a paired set of Storage Seals (which would start the development pathway towards seal-based vending machines).
6. First-order evaluation
Build the wheel using the current seals, we'll see if it works through 1 rotation, if it does then infinite rotations should work (unless the timing is off and the error will grow over multiple rotations, but that's still fixable).
7. Are there any seal modifications necessary for this project?
A Tripwire Seal that continues being a tripwire with the same effect even after being tripped.
8. Who could assist us with making this?
Probably almost any sealmaster, or even the younger students, this shouldn't be a difficult seal. It is a modification of an already existing and relatively simple seal to do what it already does - just to keep doing it instead of stopping after doing it once.
9. What are the possible unwelcome consequences or risks related to this project?
Difficult to turn off if there's a problem since the seal won't have an "off" state. Would likely require the destruction of the seal to turn off, unless simply moving the seals out of alignment would turn off the Unlimited Tripwire Seal.
2. Brief idea - A wheel using gravity and timed release/resealing of large rocks to continue in perpetuity.
3. Applications and opportunities - Infinite millstone, bellows, buzzsaw, etc.
4. How would it work?
Wheel on a spoke, wheel is free moving and above the ground.
There are two storage seals at opposite ends of the wheel, each at the bottom of an angled bucket connected to the wheel that can contain a boulder of X size through a descent of 1/2 rotation of the wheel.
There is an upgraded LBF/Tripwire seal connecting the two seals, set to trigger them to seal/unseal simultaneously when an item crosses the line between them.
The wheel has a piece that juts out enough to cross the line and trigger the upgraded LBF/Tripwire seal and trigger the sealing/unsealing. The placement of the piece would trigger the sealing/unsealing shortly after the buckets reach apex/nadir.
Bucket at top contains a boulder, it rotates the wheel as the weight causes the bucket to descend, converting potential energy into kinetic energy, moments after nadir the LBF/Tripwire Seal is triggered, storing the boulder (which may actually be enough to get the empty bucket to complete the rotation, if someone wants to crunch the numbers). Simultaneously, the other Storage Seal unstores the boulder into the bucket near the apex, restarting the cycle.
Harvest as much energy as you desire from the rotational energy as long as there's still enough to complete the rotation.
5. What underlying nontrivial technical properties does this project require?
An upgrade to the Tripwire Seals that has them repeat infinitely rather than being a single use trigger. Can also be a specialty version of a paired set of Storage Seals (which would start the development pathway towards seal-based vending machines).
6. First-order evaluation
Build the wheel using the current seals, we'll see if it works through 1 rotation, if it does then infinite rotations should work (unless the timing is off and the error will grow over multiple rotations, but that's still fixable).
7. Are there any seal modifications necessary for this project?
A Tripwire Seal that continues being a tripwire with the same effect even after being tripped.
8. Who could assist us with making this?
Probably almost any sealmaster, or even the younger students, this shouldn't be a difficult seal. It is a modification of an already existing and relatively simple seal to do what it already does - just to keep doing it instead of stopping after doing it once.
9. What are the possible unwelcome consequences or risks related to this project?
Difficult to turn off if there's a problem since the seal won't have an "off" state. Would likely require the destruction of the seal to turn off, unless simply moving the seals out of alignment would turn off the Unlimited Tripwire Seal.
- Location
- The Soviet Republic of Canuckistan
- Pronouns
- He/Him
A concern here is that you only get ~100 uses out of a storage seal before it stops functioning. This isn't to say that the idea is simply dead, just that we can only get a finite amount of free energy out of each wheel. However, the EN already has methods of storing power (you can pump water up high) so I can see a D-rank mission being 'go fetch and seal a bunch of boulders and then operate the wheels overnight', or something similar.
(Granted, it's then possible that the genin might have been able to just raise the water themselves in this time. Perhaps we need to invent E-rank missions.)
Given that the applications are obviously towards the civilian market, this might be most useful (say) filling the Goketsu raised cistern or something like that, which in turn provides a good testbed for plumbing projects.
I'm so happy we're getting more seal science.
On the project:
Storage seals giving preservation of mass the finger is an excellent basis for potential to kinetic energy machines. (That and their instant deployment, at least initially)
The current hurdle with long-term versions of this approach is that (IIRC) storage seals have a limited lifespan (~200 uses) according to the seal doc linked in the first post.
If we can change or circumvent that, machines like this will be easy to implement.
Thank you for using the template. It made different aspects easy to understand. Hopefully it also helped with thinking things through.
- Location
- United States
Ah, I didn't know that, but with our storage seal variant expertise, we can probably increase that durability number. Especially if we're making a very narrow type of seal - a boulder of only a very small weight class range, and it's a boulder so we can relax a lot of the limiters that prevent damage.
That's now a second seal to create for this, which is another level of complexity in opposition, but that seems to be an easy seal to develop too.
MfD Project Catalog
I am using this post to collect project proposals; be they experiments, seal-tech, training, jutsu, etc.If you would like me to add something I missed here, let me know.
The templates I use for my proposals can be found here.
Experiments
- Banshee Slayer and Silence Mine Experiments (can lead to silent explosives/guns, trivially reshapable shaped explosives, invisible anti-explosive shields, etc.)
Seal Applications and Devices
- Chakra Musket (based on explosive seals, with some trigger seal for possible civilian use)
- Sealtech Perpetual Motion Machine - by Ipsos Custodes ("A wheel using gravity and timed release/resealing of large rocks to continue in perpetuity.")
- Second Life Seal (auto-storing, recovering, and resuscitating the dead)
- Explosive-Proof Armor (based on Experiment 1)
- Hazou's Stupendous Skyborne Sploosh (or, Water Reclaimer) (Use Usamatsu's Air Cleaner/Filter seal, filter out water vapor from air, you now have water. Pull Sand out of their desert wasteland.)
- Jiraiya's Black Seal Backlight (What it says on the tin. Gives sealmasters the vaunted ability of seeing their work while using black seal paper... Also gives the same capability to reverse-engineering stinky heads.)
- Frag Tags (Explosive seals/tags + Shrapnel; MARS version with two paired storage seals containing shrapnel on both sides of the ES.)
Jutsu Applications and Jutsu-based Devices
- Akane's Death-Defying Deforestation (Land of Fire has the most fertile but also the most dangerous forests / fertile land. If only we could somehow clear those blockers quickly and thoroughly... If only- EM NUKE)
Bloodline Applications and Bloodline-based Devices
- Sasuke's Retroactive Telephone Game (use Sasuke's sharingan future sight in combination with a predetermined question-answer system to ferry specific information from the future to the past - without having to actually do any of the risky or time-consuming work. Gain instant impossible knowledge and school on the Sage.)
- The related Omake - Operation Sasuke & Rescue.
Other Ideas
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1. Name
Explosive-Proof Armor
2. Brief idea
It's this, but invisible.
Banshee Slayers can neutralize any sound, at least as strong as the Banshee Fuckers'. High enough soundwaves are shockwaves (sharp pressure differential with at least 1 atm difference, and increasing volume after that just makes a bigger explosion). If the related experiment succeeds, we can use these seals to block explosives' shockwaves.
3. Applications and opportunities
- A slim bodysuit and toggleable (MARS, probably) helmet that can make Deidara go to the corner and cry.
- This would also counter sonic attacks and sound based genjutsu even if the linked experiment fails.
- More broadly, you have a double-layer fabric that you can insert Banshee Slayers into. That gives you the equivalent of kevlar, but specifically for explosions.
- We could technically stand in the middle of a continuous explosion and laugh at our enemies' demise.
- Shikaku will be proud.
4. How would it work?
Assuming the related experiment succeeds:
Each Banshee Slayer will be able to neutralize shockwaves in an ellipsoid that extends ~3cm from the seal's surface. We space those seals out into a 2-layered bodysuit (or a more rigid equivalent, if necessary), creating total coverage and protection for the entire body.
For the head, I expect we wouldn't want to be deaf forever. While an automatic version would be great, we can make a toggleable one instead. To that end, depending on the seal's actual physical dimensions, we could get away with sticking the (M)ARS-paired seals on simple accesories (and the forehead protector). If a more comprehensive distribution is necessary, we make a helmet. Then, stick the MARS trigger somewhere where the helmet touches your skin, and you can complete the full-body explosive protection at will.
Regardless of the experiment's result: This would completely counter sonic attacks and sound-based genjutsu.
5. What underlying nontrivial technical properties does this project require?
- Banshee Slayer and Silence Mine Explosive Experiments must demonstrate that Banshee Slayers can be used against explosions.
- Banshee Slayer seals can be activated and fixed inside clothing with an acceptable length of operation (none specified by Jiraiya or in the seal doc), and usual ninja movement doesn't cause inserted seals to tear apart somehow.
6. First-order evaluation - Are there any experiments we can run or questions we can ask to quickly validate/falsify these requirements? - This would save us effort and time.
- The linked experiment. That will make or break this. If we get a good result, we're basically good to go.
- Duration: Trivial to test. If an active lasts for longer than you would expect to continuously wear flak armor, then it practically lasts forever as long as you (the ninja) are concerned.
- Wear & tear durability: Simple test like that of duration. Wear the bodysuit or armor through training or other applicable situations. Periodically check if the seals are still working.
7. Are there any seal modifications necessary for this project?
No.
8. Who could assist us with making this?
- Kagome
- Someone who can sew or otherwise make the bodysuit / armor + helmet. Civilians, Goketsu create jobs for you again!
9. What are the possible unwelcome consequences or risks related to this project?
If our enemies get their dirty mittens on our anti-explosive armor, I will not be happy.
Kagome will really not be happy. But, hey, we can't be the only ones to use explosions, and we aren't immune to ours either.
Explosive-Proof Armor
2. Brief idea
It's this, but invisible.
Banshee Slayers can neutralize any sound, at least as strong as the Banshee Fuckers'. High enough soundwaves are shockwaves (sharp pressure differential with at least 1 atm difference, and increasing volume after that just makes a bigger explosion). If the related experiment succeeds, we can use these seals to block explosives' shockwaves.
3. Applications and opportunities
- A slim bodysuit and toggleable (MARS, probably) helmet that can make Deidara go to the corner and cry.
- This would also counter sonic attacks and sound based genjutsu even if the linked experiment fails.
- More broadly, you have a double-layer fabric that you can insert Banshee Slayers into. That gives you the equivalent of kevlar, but specifically for explosions.
- We could technically stand in the middle of a continuous explosion and laugh at our enemies' demise.
- Shikaku will be proud.
4. How would it work?
Assuming the related experiment succeeds:
Each Banshee Slayer will be able to neutralize shockwaves in an ellipsoid that extends ~3cm from the seal's surface. We space those seals out into a 2-layered bodysuit (or a more rigid equivalent, if necessary), creating total coverage and protection for the entire body.
For the head, I expect we wouldn't want to be deaf forever. While an automatic version would be great, we can make a toggleable one instead. To that end, depending on the seal's actual physical dimensions, we could get away with sticking the (M)ARS-paired seals on simple accesories (and the forehead protector). If a more comprehensive distribution is necessary, we make a helmet. Then, stick the MARS trigger somewhere where the helmet touches your skin, and you can complete the full-body explosive protection at will.
Regardless of the experiment's result: This would completely counter sonic attacks and sound-based genjutsu.
5. What underlying nontrivial technical properties does this project require?
- Banshee Slayer and Silence Mine Explosive Experiments must demonstrate that Banshee Slayers can be used against explosions.
- Banshee Slayer seals can be activated and fixed inside clothing with an acceptable length of operation (none specified by Jiraiya or in the seal doc), and usual ninja movement doesn't cause inserted seals to tear apart somehow.
6. First-order evaluation - Are there any experiments we can run or questions we can ask to quickly validate/falsify these requirements? - This would save us effort and time.
- The linked experiment. That will make or break this. If we get a good result, we're basically good to go.
- Duration: Trivial to test. If an active lasts for longer than you would expect to continuously wear flak armor, then it practically lasts forever as long as you (the ninja) are concerned.
- Wear & tear durability: Simple test like that of duration. Wear the bodysuit or armor through training or other applicable situations. Periodically check if the seals are still working.
7. Are there any seal modifications necessary for this project?
No.
8. Who could assist us with making this?
- Kagome
- Someone who can sew or otherwise make the bodysuit / armor + helmet. Civilians, Goketsu create jobs for you again!
9. What are the possible unwelcome consequences or risks related to this project?
If our enemies get their dirty mittens on our anti-explosive armor, I will not be happy.
Kagome will really not be happy. But, hey, we can't be the only ones to use explosions, and we aren't immune to ours either.
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Chapter 516: Anchoring the Sun
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Tanzaku Gai was more than just a city. Of all the sites of strategic importance in the Fire Country, it had received the best defences during the war short of Leaf itself, and Hazō thought he understood why. It wasn't the bountiful tax income. It wasn't the key role in governance over western Fire. It was, to put it simply, morale. Tanzaku Gai was where Leaf ninja went when off-duty (despite attempts at competition from the newer Otafuku Gai). It was where they went to be reminded, perhaps without ever realising it, what they were truly fighting for. The unseen desire that lay at the bottom of every ninja's heart, Hazō believed, wasn't mere survival. It wasn't hatred or revenge. It wasn't even the resolve to protect their loved ones, which Leaf tried to monopolise as the Will of Fire. It was a dream of paradise: a world without war. In Tanzaku Gai, for just a few hours at a time, there was no war. There was no conflict beyond the petty strife inextricable from human society. There was art, and music, and fashion, and fine cuisine, and every other joy that humanity was capable of crafting for itself when its hands weren't busy holding weapons.
Today, Hazō and Akane were beneficiaries of this tradition of fiercely-protected peace. The flowers at the Nishūrasen Gardens were in full bloom, their panoply of colours eclipsing even the famous fountains in Hazō's eyes—though, of course, still failing to eclipse Akane as she pointed them out to him one by one, unselfconsciously showing off both the knowledge she'd picked up from Ino and the additional research she'd conducted because when Akane committed herself to taking care of a living being, that living being got taken care of.
Speaking of Ino, she was the one responsible for the vibrant green (but not that green) one-piece dress Akane was wearing, and the story behind that was a valuable reminder just how terrifying a social spec could be even without being animated by unholy powers of chaos or being broken until talent filled the space where her heart had been.
As soon as word came in that the Fourth Shinobi World War was over, details pending, the overworked, overstressed Yamanaka clan head had seized the opportunity not merely to relax and unwind, but to unleash a diabolical plot that must have been in the making for months at least. First, the easy part, she took advantage of Snowflake's curiosity and desire for self-definition to invite her to a grand clothes shopping trip. Then, she broke down Kei's resistance by pointing out that anything Snowflake wore would reflect on Kei, and thus also on the Nara, whether she liked it or not, and if she didn't serve as chaperone and veto holder, Ino had no interest in being responsible for the consequences. As a follow-up attack, she persuaded Kei to invite Fujisawa, promising her the family bonding opportunity that they'd missed out on with the unfortunate dinner. With that excuse, and with the momentum rolling, Akane found it too hard to say no, and was dragged out of the room where she'd been spending too much of her time and into the spring sunlight. Meanwhile, Tenten (according to Akane's speculations after the fact) couldn't let the new, more exciting, more outgoing, more communicative mute girlfriend outshine her even visually, and insisted on joining in despite her usual lack of interest. And then, Ino put the strawberry on the cake. Hinata had limited her interactions with her political opponents since assuming the Hyūga throne, but even she couldn't resist the triple temptation of observing complex multi-layered social dynamics (the Kittensphere members alone would provide a day's worth of utterly unique data, and also Hazō really needed to heed Noburi's warning and stop using that name before it was too late), influencing the personal lives of her peers and rivals while their guards were down, and getting to be part of a gaggle of teenage girls shopping for pretty things.
Hazō had no idea where to begin closing the gap with Hinata on a more than superficial level. Even Ami, despite apparent interest, had yet to attempt the challenge (as far as he knew). And now Ino had done it, just like that, without spending capital or discomforting her allies or attempting manipulation that might backfire if Hinata saw through it. If Ino, even more calculating than he'd realised, succeeded in turning the Leaf Chūnin Girls No-Holds-Barred Shopping Spree into a regular event, he couldn't imagine the potential uses she could make of such a tool. (He wasn't sure why the rank was specified, or what would happen if they got promoted at different rates, but he did note that it excluded Ami and Mari.)
Locked out of the process though he was by virtue of not being a chūnin girl, Hazō couldn't complain if it involved the girls in his life being both happier and easier on the eyes, and it was a fact that Akane looked magnificent in green.
The fourth compliment to that effect later, Hazō decided that it was time to try a conversation of a more serious nature, and led her inside one of the garden's infamous replica gazebos.
"Speaking of mood-enhancing aromatherapy," he smoothly segued from her last flower description, "how are you feeling? I've been finding you a little hard to read lately."
"How?" Akane echoed. "You mean the whole mass murderer thing?"
Hazō had taken time to prepare for this conversation, mostly pondering all the ways in which he could mess it up, and therefore he was careful to say absolutely nothing to this question.
Akane sat in silence for a few seconds, looking out at the flowers.
"A lot of the time, I haven't been feeling anything at all," she said quietly. "Not like the person I thought I was. No, just… not like a person.
"I told you once that I felt hollow. Just an imitation of whichever person I looked up to most at any given time. I thought that, with you there to support me, I could find some kind of truth, like maybe there was some kind of core Akane that I simply couldn't see because I was too busy living a borrowed way of life.
"I didn't make it in time."
Akane looked at him, but he didn't say anything. There was a 99% chance that whatever he said would be the wrong thing, and she seemed… fragile. Too fragile for Gōketsu Akane.
"You wouldn't have compromised your ideals under pressure. If someone told you to kill thousands of civilians just because they belonged to the other side, you'd have fought back, or delayed until you could come up with some kind of brilliant solution, or even gone missing. But I'm just your shadow. I'm not real, and my Youth isn't real, and while you shine when you're in the dark, I disappear. I thought I'd faced up to that, but all I'd done was pretend, and it got thousands of people killed.
"Kei says that I should take the time to process my pain instead of looking for another mask to hide behind. Noburi says that I should be kind to myself, and that beating myself up will only make it harder to find the answers. Mari says that carrying out terrible orders is a trial every ninja has to face eventually, and finding my own way to cope will make me stronger as a person. Kagome doesn't say anything, but he gets this odd, distant look in his eyes, and then he goes off to make me soup.
"I love them all, but they can't offer me a way forward. Nobody can. How do you go anywhere when it turns out your moral compass doesn't have a lodestone?"
"It's funny," Hazō said when it became apparent that Akane didn't have anything else to say. "I thought it seemed like you'd lost your anchor, and your metaphor is you not having a compass."
Wait, no. Ship metaphors. Hazō did not want to use ship metaphors when talking about guilt for killing civilians. There was no way bringing back that memory wouldn't make things worse.
Fortunately, Akane didn't seem to notice.
"I thought Youth was my anchor," she said. "But as soon as the tide came, I got swept away, and found out I'd never had an anchor at all. It's like Kei said—I was always mass murderer Akane waiting to happen."
Kei said what?! Hazō was going to—
No, he probably shouldn't. As someone who'd been frustrated at the clan's apparent inability to keep themselves together without his intervention, the last thing he should do was object when they actually made an effort to look out for each other. If Kei turned around and said, "Well, you handle it, then", he'd be back all the way to square minus one. He just hoped she wasn't making things worse.
Or was he qualified to judge that, given that he had no idea how to make things better himself?
Wasn't there anything he could do, any approach he could make that had a chance of helping Akane without risking disaster?
Maybe there was.
"You've been one of my biggest anchors for the longest time," Hazō said. "But you've never been my only one. That's not something you can ask of any one person, and maybe you can't ask it of one ideal either. You know how I feel about Uplift, but I want to believe that even if I woke up one day and found out Uplift was a lie, I'd still have other reasons to carry on—you being one of them. What about you, Akane? Do you have any other anchors?"
No, wait. That really sounded like he was pressuring her to reciprocate and say he was one of hers. Damn.
Akane just looked out at the flower beds for a while, and he couldn't tell if she was thinking or staring into space.
"There are still people I love," she said, "and things I care about. Of course there are. But what's going to happen when the tide comes again? If my love of Youth was a lie all along, then how can I believe in my love for you, or Ino, or my parents, or anyone, never mind something as abstract as Uplift? How can I know that they aren't more illusions that will vanish if the world pokes at them hard enough?"
Hazō had made a precommitment not to try to fix anything, and on the inside, he was grinding his teeth in frustration at the inflexibility of his past self. If past!Hazō had known what it would be like to hear Akane say these things, surely he'd have changed his mind and given his future self carte blanche to do something, anything, to make things better for her.
Unfortunately, Hazō believed in the power of precommitment. It was a mighty tool, powerful enough to defend even against Ami, but it demanded faithfulness. If he turned his back on it even once, it might lose too much power to save him next time past!Hazō's forethought was the only thing standing between him and lethal foot-in-mouth poisoning.
"Akane," he said, "I can't look into your heart and see how real any of your feelings are." He'd put it on the sealing research list, but he should probably finish the cure for wandering wits first. "But I can ask you this: what makes life worthwhile for you? You don't need to know whether your feelings are real to be able to answer that. You don't even have to limit yourself to what's realistic. Pretend for a second that there are no justifications and no consequences. What do you want to do?"
"What do I… want to do?"
"It's OK if you don't have any answers," Hazō added hastily, "or if it's something really vague. I'm not trying to put you on the spot here."
"I want to make a better Akane," Akane said slowly. "One who won't murder thousands of civilians when she's ordered. One who has the right beliefs and stands by them. One who isn't anyone's shadow. I want… instead of an Akane who's always standing in the light, I want one who can step into the darkness without disappearing." She gave the strange, ironic smile of someone enjoying a private joke at her own expense.
"I don't know what anchors that Akane would have, or what would make her life worthwhile. I suppose she'd be a very different person from me."
Hazō forcefully suppressed the desire to argue. Instead, he smiled. "I have no idea how to make any of that happen. Honestly, from where I'm standing, the idea of improving on you would be blasphemous if it wasn't incoherent, but I admit I may be slightly biased. But that doesn't change the fact that I love you and believe in you absolutely, and if there's anything I can do to help you, anything at all, then I will do that thing."
Hazō had a sense that if he let Akane think about it, she'd say something to the effect of "But it's only a hypothetical and I've already said it can't happen", so he hurried on. He'd suspected that this topic might leave Akane feeling melancholy, which was not acceptable on a date with Gōketsu Hazō, master of seduction, so he'd made sure to have a secret weapon close to hand.
"By the way," he said, "I wrote you something."
Akane's curiosity quickly overcame her desire to stare wistfully into the distance. Just as planned.
"What's that?"
Hazō pulled out a scroll. "I've secretly been studying the work of Namikaze Minato, some say the greatest poet of our age, in order to compose the finest love poem in Elemental Nations history. Listen and be amazed."
Akane straightened up into the rapt listening posture of an ideal Academy student, nearly brushing her shoulder against one of the gazebo's realistically-carved fangs.
Hazō cleared his throat.
"To my radiant star, whose embrace
Brings fierce blushes to my face,
Whose amber eyes' refulgent glow
Strikes harder than a Strong Fist blow,
The gentle strength of whose caress
Would shame an Arachnid Empress,
Yes, you, Akane, are the one,
As bright and round as the sun!"
By the time Hazō reached the fourth stanza, dedicated to the beauty of Akane's toenails, she was so moved that her face was buried in her hands, and her shoulders were shaking with what could only be suppressed sobs of joy. Hazō made a note to do something nice for Naruto, whose father had turned out to be every bit the romantic genius he'd hoped.
-o-
You have received 4 + 1 (Brevity) + 1 (Fun-to-write) = 6 XP.
-o-
Ami-style training was unsuccessful due to lack of challenge: the jōnin currently in Leaf were insufficiently paranoid (by the standards of Kagome-sensei's star pupil) and just told Hazō their favourite colour when he asked; for those out on missions, their families or known friends were happy to do so.
-o-
The other half of the plan is left in the merciless talons of @eaglejarl.
Voting is closed.
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Unaligned Player
Agony that desires to meet Extinction
- Location
- Adrift between sanity and madness
- Pronouns
- Shrug
Minato Namikaze: master of the Adorkable Method of romance.
- Location
- Texas
You want an Akane that is capable of Lighting Up the Dark?
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Hazou, keep using it! It'll be hilarious!
Begin with a heartfelt thank you. One not veiled or chained by politics. She saved Kei. She saved Snowflake. She saved Scalpel, and Winterlight, and Crystal, and all of our sisters yet unborn. Hinata saved all of them.
Yes, we thanked her, and talked about architecture (iirc), but that was in the heart of the Hyuuga Estate, in the middle of Leaf. When we were the Goketsu Clan Head and Hinata, the Hyuuga Clan Head.
Here, in this town? They're just Hinata and Hazou. So thank her. Without the Mari-approved script, without the well-practiced lines and cherry-picked dialogue. Be yourself, Hazou. You've never had a problem with earnestness.
If Hinata is the sort of person worth befriending (as Ino and Ami attest), then that friendship can be built upon that foundation of earnest gratitude and cooperation. She acted against Orochimaru to save your sisters. That's a damned good start.