Hazō had taken time to prepare for this conversation, mostly pondering all the ways in which he could mess it up, and therefore he was careful to say absolutely nothing to this question.
Akane sat in silence for a few seconds, looking out at the flowers.
"Akane," he said, "I can't look into your heart and see how real any of your feelings are." He'd put it on the sealing research list, but he should probably finish the cure for wandering wits first.
Ooooh, an Empathy boosting seal? We should definitely do that. Imagine how exotic the sealing failures would be! We might end up with something that makes Hazō decide to do Armaggedon Initiative, all on his own!
Hazō pulled out a scroll. "I've secretly been studying the work of Namikaze Minato, some say the greatest poet of our age, in order to compose the finest love poem in Elemental Nations history. Listen and be amazed."
I would like to propose a scene where we send Noburi to learn basic chakra pool expansion techniques from Kagome with Honoka, to find out if he can now train his internal chakra reserves.
It'll be adorable. It'll get our teeth kicked in with pranks. It might just get Noburi his S-rank trick.
Would love to read this scene. Wanted to justify waiting to do it with SC. Will not know until Noburi learns SC, but even odds his SCs have 2CP maxes. If they do, and Noburi can raise his barrel-less max with training, studying his 2CP SCs training their chakra over the course of 4 hours to a day would reveal valuable information. On the upper end of positive outcomes, might lead to new class of shinobi who washed out but can try again after Wakahisa surgery + 1 year of ACE. Expect Tsunade would be interested in studying this. Harder to science if Noburi develops his chakra to the point where one day of training does not make a meaningful difference. If training chakra is dangerous for Noburi, starting with an SC offsets some of the danger too. Not all of it, since they do not have a bloodline, but some of it.
Would love to read a family road making trip to Tanzaku Gai. Not sure if it is better to do after O'uzu depending on how AMITY goes. Some group stress relief, chakra beast slaying and changing the face of the Elemental Nations. Maybe after the first XP detour so Hazō can learn MARI and Noburi can use mist for draining comfortably?
I would like to offer a warm welcome to @Chuckles , who has torn through the thread at a tremendous pace and now arrived at the head. Lovely to meet you, good person. How did you find us?
I would like to offer a warm welcome to @Chuckles , who has torn through the thread at a tremendous pace and now arrived at the head. Lovely to meet you, good person. How did you find us?
Also, I'm noticing links that go nowhere. I'm not sure if that's because deleted posts are scrambling things or because they changed the link structure a while back, but it's annoying.
Also, I'm noticing links that go nowhere. I'm not sure if that's because deleted posts are scrambling things or because they changed the link structure a while back, but it's annoying.
Link rot, backward compatibility issues on the forum itself? Any SW engineer could tell you that keeping years old data on the internet is a hard and costly effort. Security patches break compatibility, external domains stop being maintained.
It is not, I repeat, not due to the existence of data-feeding infomorphs. We got those on the OVH controlled burns of '21.
Link rot, backward compatibility issues on the forum itself? Any SW engineer could tell you that keeping years old data on the internet is a hard and costly effort. Security patches break compatibility, external domains stop being maintained.
I'm talking about links internal to this thread. For example, the link from Chapter 152.2 back to 152 leads to the top of the page instead of to the actual chapter.
I'm talking about links internal to this thread. For example, the link from Chapter 152.2 back to 152 leads to the top of the page instead of to the actual chapter.
The link to chapter 152 points to page-2736#post-9119674. It goes to the top of page 2736 because there is no post 9119674 on that page. Actual post located here. Probably the corresponding plan for that chapter? Deletion would push posts backwards from their original page. Not sure what could push it forward. This concludes amateur internet forensics.
"Okay," Naruto said. "I've been patient. Relaxed, even. Some people might use words like 'saintly'. I helped you clean up from the ritual. I helped you carry all that crap back inside. I waited patiently while dinner was prepared. Now what happened?!"
Considering that dinner prep had consisted of everyone choosing their preferred food-containing set of storage seals, Hazō didn't feel a lot of guilt about that last point.
"I saw something," he admitted. "I don't know if it was real, or a hallucination, and I've been going over it in my head, trying to make sure I had every detail locked down. We'll want to confirm it before acting on it, and—"
"So help me," Naruto said, his voice flat and a ball of blue light beginning to swirl in his hand, "if you do not share the information with me in an efficient and complete manner within the next five seconds, I will tear this house down around your ears."
"Okay, okay!" Hazō said, patting at the air in an attempt to calm down the angry jinchūriki. "Here's what I saw: a white beach next to a big lake. There were trees on the far side, stretching around two-thirds of the lake's perimeter, but the near side was grassy and backed up against hills. Jiraiya was exercising and practicing a weird kata that I didn't recognize. Something like this." He did his best to imitate the move but succeeded only in falling on his butt.
Naruto blinked and the incipient Rasengan disappeared. "Two-footed thrust kick powered off a jump, aimed at the thighs and catching yourself on your arms before back-rolling?"
"Yeah," Hazō said, climbing to his feet and dusting off his butt. "Exactly. Except he spraddled out instead of rolling."
"That's the Toad Thrust. It's part of the martial art of the Toads. Unc always called it the 'Frog Kata' and that move the 'Frog Smash' because it drove Ma and Pa—that's Shima and Fukasaku—crazy." He paused, thinking. "You could have seen him practicing it before he died. He might even have tried to teach it to you." The moment he spoke the final words he looked dubious as Hazō's complete failure came to mind.
"I could have, but I didn't. He was talking to himself, trying to remind himself of something. He said, 'Damnit, Jiraiya. You know better than that. Do it again.'" Hazō ran through the rest of Jiraiya's words quickly, struggling to get them as close to exactly right as memory allowed.
Naruto, poking thoughtfully at his ramen as Hazō spoke, stopped and looked up at the final words. "The weird part is that he fell, and that he said the bit about no chakra. That's how Ma and Pa like to teach—they think that studying while handicapped means you learn better, because you have to get the form exactly right instead of doing it a little wrong but pushing through by pumping chakra. Uncle Jiraiya hated practicing without chakra and he never did it unless they were standing over him. I could maybe see him falling if he was trying to do it without chakra again." He thought for a moment. "Also, he said 'Little Miss'? You're sure?"
Hazō nodded. "Yes. Why?"
Naruto snorted, then burst out into full-throated laughter. "That's what Ma and Pa's teacher used to call Shima. It drives her bonkers when anyone else uses it. Like, I called her that when I was nine and she literally kicked me from one end of the training field to the other in one go, then zipped ahead before I landed and dribbled me all the way back. Cracked six ribs and I was black and blue for a week."
Hazō paused to reflect on the idea that the two-foot toad with the purple lipstick and the frizzy hair could punt a (granted, young) jinchūriki across the length of a training field and be waiting for him when he landed.
"So...what I'm hearing is that I should never use that name in her hearing," Noburi said, half-serious and half-joking, with a tiny bit of fear to round out the tone.
"Yah. That."
"Do you know this 'Frog Kata'?" Mari asked.
"First, don't call it that around Ma and Pa if you want to live," Naruto said seriously. "Second, yes. Not at a master level, but I'm getting there. Granted, my training got interrupted by this whole kidnapping, torture, and near world-destruction thing, and now I can't continue because Unc isn't around to teach me or to summon the Sages anymore." He glanced sourly at Noburi.
The young man in question shrugged. "I...might be able to. Dunno. It depends on how strong they are and whether or not they're willing to contract with me."
"They're massively strong and they're proud," Naruto said. "They're not going to want to be summoned by 'some whippersnapper.'" His voice dropped into a nearly perfect copy of Fukasaku's grumpiness.
"I could tell them it's to visit you...? And make it a one-time thing, or promise not to summon them into combat."
"Hmm. Maybe? If you phrased it carefully they'd probably go along or else be more amused and dismissive than angry. I think."
Noburi looked vaguely nervous at the idea of even potentially angering the two Sages.
"The real issue is what we do now," Hazō said, pouring himself some tea. "And I mean right now, like in the next couple of hours. Naruto, you've somewhat validated the vision."
"I wouldn't go that far," Naruto said. "You could easily have read all that in Jiraiya's journals."
"And seen the Toad Thrust? Do you really believe that he would have diagrammed out a secret and powerful martial art, or even described it well enough to understand?"
"...He might have."
Hazō was both happy and frustrated at the mulish tone of the words. It showed that Naruto didn't completely believe it and was aware that he was being stubborn, but there was at least a seed of doubt.
"Okay," Hazō said, as reasonably as he could. "Why? What would I have to gain from lying to you?" He sipped his tea and continued to ignore the honey-brushed braised sea bass that was slowly cooling on his plate.
"You said you wanted to fix things between us," Naruto said. "This could be your idea of a clever ploy to get me on your side."
"Is that how you grew up?" Mari asked, sympathy in her voice. "Always wondering if people were being sincere in their offers of friendship or only trying to use you?"
Naruto looked at her, surprised.
She nodded and poked thoughtfully at her fried rice. "I suppose it makes sense," she said, lifting an eggy bite to her lips. She tasted it consideringly, then swallowed before continuing. "Probably the most powerful jinchūriki in the world. Son of the Fourth. Student of some of the most powerful ninja in the world. Everyone wanted a piece of you, didn't they? It must have been lonely."
"Yeah, no. Not the first time someone's tried that on me," Naruto said. "Flattery combined with understanding and sympathy, with an only-implied offer of friendship that leaves me the choice as to whether or not to reach out? Nice try."
Mari shook her head. "You misunderstand. I have no interest in being friends with you."
"What?" Naruto said.
"What?" Hazō and Noburi asked in tandem.
"Hang on, now," Hazō said. "Mari—"
She made a cutting gesture with one hand, silencing him. "No. Being friends with Naruto is not a good plan. On good terms, absolutely. Able to work together in pursuit of common goals? Sure. Not friends. He'll be Hokage one day and we'll be under his orders. You don't befriend Kages. You do your best to have their respect and you try not to attract their attention. Getting involved in politics at that level is not worth the trouble. All that happens is you get their enemies throwing knives at your head from the darkness and their friends—if they have any left from their youth—staring suspiciously at you. Especially when there's as much of an age gap as there is between me and you, Naruto. I'd much rather be your loyal and respected jōnin who occasionally gets sent on interesting but not too dangerous intelligence-gathering missions as opposed to being your friend and confidante.
"Mori Ami, she's closer to your age and she's not from Leaf," she continued, taking another bite of her rice and savoring it before speaking again. "She doesn't have any of the baggage that we're carrying based on being former missing-nin who Jiraiya brought in from the cold—which, to be clear, means that all the jingoistic nationalists who hate missing-nin hate us, and all the people who butted heads with Jiraiya also hate us. No desire to add your enemies to the list.
"As to Ami...you could do worse than befriending her. She doesn't have our other issues to increase the risk and she doesn't have our place here, so she's desperate to build one. Sure, the conservatives will never trust Ami or anything she's involved in, but she's smart enough to be loyal and she'll be as honest with you as she is with anyone. She's also quite pretty and I trained her well, so she's good in the sack. I assume you know better than to pillow talk, but even if you do she'll keep your secrets because she knows that one misstep will have the Hagoromo and their bloc down on her head. She'll be loyal, she'll be fun to spend relaxed time with—which I suspect is something you desperately need—and she'll be useful to you."
It's debatable whether the right skill here is Deceit or Rapport. Nothing Mari is saying is untrue, but it's not entirely true either. She's got an agenda in her words and she's trying to reframe Naruto's perception of reality in ways that are helpful for her and at least somewhat harmful to him because it will cause him to distrust those whom he has previously had no reason to distrust. (Also, there's some negging going on, which is a dick move when attempting to get in a woman's pants but pretty much de rigueur at this level of politics and in defense of your family.) On the other hand, trusting Ami is a fool's choice, so Mari is helping Naruto at the same time. All things considered, I'll go with Deceit.
Hazō watched, nervous for Naruto's reaction. Fortunately, the young jinchūriki seemed very much on the back foot and even slightly shaken.
"Going back to the original point," Mari said after the silence had lingered for a moment. "Hazō was asking what we do now. Hazō, care to expand?"
"Right. Uh, well...I'm thinking about social and political risks, like—"
Noburi clutched his chest as though his heart had stopped. "What?! Mari, check his ears! He's been taken over by the lupchanzen!"
Naruto's off-balance expression vanished and his body tensed as he looked back and forth between Noburi and Hazō.
Mari bapped Noburi on the arm. "Stop getting your brother in trouble."
"But Ma," Noburi whined, "it's my turn! Why does he get all the fun of causing massive political disasters for the clan?"
"Because he's older," Mari said primly. "But if you eat every bite of your vegetables then maybe you'll grow up big and strong and you can cause huge problems too someday."
"Very funny, you two," Hazō said grumpily. "If we can be serious for a moment, what's our next move?"
"Depends," Mari said. "What's the goal?"
"Ultimately? Bring Jiraiya back, preferably before he loses too much of his memory. Then, with his experience at sealing and any knowledge he may have gleaned from the other side, figure out how to rescue everyone else we care about."
"You know this is insane, right?" Naruto asked.
Hazō smiled. "Hi, I'm Gōketsu Hazō. It's a pleasure to meet you, Lord Uzumaki. Are you here to help with our latest endeavor?"
Naruto snorted and then half-strangled as a laugh snuck out and interrupted the snort. "Fine," he said. "I'm not sure I believe this. It's a lot simpler to believe that you found some details in Jiraiya's old journals and you're putting on an elaborate show to try to get on my good side. On the other hand...well, if you're lying then I'm morbidly curious to know how far you're willing to go knowing that once I find out I'm going to bring the wrath of me down on you. If you're telling the truth then of course I want to help. So, what are we doing?"
"Uh...right," Hazō said, unsure how to take that. "Well, the first thing to emphasize is that I don't know if this was a true vision, and I'm not claiming it was. It's possible that I hallucinated what I hoped to see. I don't remember hearing about the Toad Thrust or the 'Little Miss' nickname, but it's possible that I read it somewhere and have forgotten it. Still, I'm going to proceed as though it were the truth. Which leaves me with lots of questions, like how do we defend against accusations that we're making this up? How do we prevent this falling into the wrong hands or spinning out of control? What aren't we considering? What do we need to do right now? If this is real, it's huge, and we only get one chance not to screw it up. Is there anyone else who needs to know at this moment—maybe Kagome-sensei?"
"You made a list," Mari accused.
"Before we even did the ritual," Hazō said. "Now hush and don't distract the menfolk when we're talking about important things."
Mari's eyebrow went up and her face admitted amusement and promised retribution.
Naruto grinned. "You guys are nuts, you know that?"
"Eh," Noburi said. "You get used to it. Anyway, here's my idea: we have a nice evening with no mention of war, Dragons, dead people, or anything else stressful. Tomorrow we take the day off. Hazō, sleep in and don't do Clan-Head things. Spend some time with Akane. Mari...do whatever you do when you want to relax without being simultaneously sexy and terrifying."
"But Noburi," Mari purred, her face shifting into a cat-with-cream expression, "sexy and terrifying is how I relax. It's being Lady Gōketsu that stresses me out."
"Uh...right. Anyway, let's take the day off to chew on all this. There's too much going on, we're all stressed to the breaking point. Naruto, you spend the day checking up on us. You're friends with Ino, right? You went to the Academy together."
"Yeah, why?"
"She's dating Hazō, so she knows him better than you do. Talk to her about what kind of guy he is, tell her about the ritual and ask her what she thinks." He preemptively waved aside Naruto's objection. "And yes, take the fact that she's dating him into account when considering what she says. After you talk to her...I dunno, take a walk? Spar? Whatever it is you do when you want to let the back of your mind chew something over. If you honestly think we're scamming you, go to the Hokage and tell him that we're scamming you. He'll probably have us executed. If you think we're deluded, send us a message saying so and we'll leave you alone. If you think we're telling the truth to the best of our knowledge, let's meet up again for breakfast the day after tomorrow and figure out how we're going to either pry that O'uzu Island rift open or cut a new one, and how we're going to find Jiraiya after we do."
He looked around the table at the other three. "That work for everyone?"
Mari and Hazō waited for Naruto to respond first. After a moment, the blond nodded.
"Fine," he said. "Sounds like a plan."
XP AWARD: 1
Brevity XP: 1
"GM had fun" XP: 1 Wasn't excited about it at first, but on balance I'm feeling good about a high-stakes convo with Naruto. (No, not 'high-stakes' in the sense of maybe dying, high stakes in the sense of whether or not he's willing to help.)
Note: The "let's take tomorrow off" thing was to account for the fact that in chapter 516 Hazō took the day off and went on a date with Akane to Tanzaku Gai. Y'all should be voting for what to do the day after that. Chapter 515 (the ritual) was on April 17, chapter 516 (the date) was on April 18, and you should be voting for what to do starting the morning of April 19.
I'll admit I'm worried about Mari doing social-fu with Naruto considering the existential risks at play there and it seems like it wasn't really beneficial at all?
I suppose Ami is within our sphere but I don't like the idea of potentially giving an as erratic actor as Ami a guide nuclear warhead like Naruto. Especially because I feel like Naruto has so far been a very stable actor with interests mostly aligned with our own, regardless of the personal distance between us.
I'll admit I'm worried about Mari doing social-fu with Naruto considering the existential risks at play there and it seems like it wasn't really beneficial at all?
I suppose Ami is within our sphere but I don't like the idea of potentially giving an as erratic actor as Ami a guide nuclear warhead like Naruto. Especially because I feel like Naruto has so far been a very stable actor with interests mostly aligned with our own, regardless of the personal distance between us.
I don't think her intent was necessarily prop ami, maybe it was make naruto suspicious of her advances. Regardless she succeeded in her intent so... Go mari?
I don't think her intent was necessarily prop ami, maybe it was make naruto suspicious of her advances. Regardless she succeeded in her intent so... Go mari?
Yep that was my read too, mari still has a feud going on whit Ami, due to what they have done to each other in the past and on account of being big players. it just hasn't come to blows yet
