Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
Where you see a joke plan, I see @Velorien reading a plan he would actually want to write. A plan which is then bait-and-switched into a serious plan at a later stage, so he'll feel all but forced to enact his own romcom elements into that plan.
Because once you invoke the romcom gods you can't just put them back into the box.
Because once you invoke the romcom gods you can't just put them back into the box.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
I mean, Tsunade's shtick is kind of "Super powerful and useful but no one likes her because she's a gigantic asshole even by ninja standards" so that checks out
She's not though. People just get mad/spooked because she aggressively doesn't play their stupid ninja politics games, and she doesn't give the time of day to people who don't have sufficient spine unless they pile on incentives in the first five seconds of the conversation and get to the point.
There are 2-3 people we've seen deal with her successfully.
Hiashi straight up called her a moron, got in the way of her fist as she was about to punch Nagato into another plane of existence, and then later bought her vote after emotionally twisting a knife in her gut. Hiashi gives no fucks and she respected that.
Akane told her she was being a shithead, tanked some of her KI by muttering on about youth, and then actually stuck to her guns and showed up to Suicide Bout at the Gouketsu Front Yard. Tsunade gives face.
Mari was basically like "Nah you know what fuck you I'm Mari." that one time.
The best way to deal with Tsunade is to level Resolve to a kajillion and then bet her a lifetime of aid vs our entire treasury in donations that she wouldn't be able to so much as make us sweat with her stupid intimidation crap, and then calmly raise an eyebrow when she actually tries.
- Location
- United States
So...stand your ground when she tries to bully you into compliance (which is usually her wanting you to go away)? Sounds like pretty asshole behavior to me, but I understand that we might have different thoughts on the matter.
Still a pretty fun character to read about tho.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
I mean, my thoughts are mostly "More or less every ninja in setting is a complete asshole". In universe though, shes not so bad.
Shikamaru only cares to deal with you if you're some sort of untapped well of endless utility and can demonstrate this to him with a powerpoint presentation, an excel spreadsheet, and by introducing him to a threatening big sister of yours.
Orochimaru will deal with you so long as it benefits him or you pique his curiosity sufficiently (which may not be good for your health).
Itachi only deals with you if you're ideologically similar to some extent, but only if you come up with magic solutions to his problems and riddles once they're posed to you. Otherwise, he kills your entire family except for one person. Thats just his thing I guess.
Hidan deals with you if you can murder the shit out of things good enough.
Naruto only deals with you if your Power of Friendship score with him is above a certain threshold. Otherwise, you aren't worth his time or are an enemy. This is absolutely totally true, its why he started humanizing those kids after the baseball game, ayup.
Asuma likes trees and associated paper products. Give him these and he is cool. The rarer the better.
And Tsunade --like Excalibur-- only deals with you if you have shown the potential to be the True Shonen Protagonist (rip Hiashi).
Definitely a step or two below Jiraiya. He only threatened us with grievous bodily harm that one time we *really* fucked up by his standards.
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Noumero
Omit Needless Words
The only S-ranker who was not an essie. We lost so much at Nagi.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
In fairness, Jiraiya will usually put up with just about anyone.
Unless they threaten or hurt his family. Then they get thrown through the nearest wall at Mach 3. Maybe some light drowning afterwards, depending.
- Location
- Italy
I have just two suggestions:
The first is to change the "Go on some casual dates" part, that seems something that could be mis-interpreted as "i'm not really sure i want to be with you, so let's do a trial run", and that...i don't feel is a good thing to say in this context, or in most situation. Something like asking her what she wants to do seems far better, as it shows Hazou respect of her agency.
The second is to fix the "The value it might bring to her", Akane struggles with self-worth and self-sacrifice, explaining how FOOM would make her more "valuable" isn't really going to help her. I propose a simple explanation of what she could do with such powers.
Added colored text with suggestions for replacement
[X] Action Plan: Leaves on the tree
[X] Action Plan: Leaves on the tree
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- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
Good idea for the romance subsection, and good catch on the 'value' line. Changes made to both lines:
- Location
- Kiev, Ukraine
You seem to forget about 'don' t you dare to steal Naruto's place as Clan Head' speach. It was pretty visual too iirc
[X] Action Plan: Leaves on the tree
[x] Action Plan: The Warlock of the Romcom Gods
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Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Thats the one I was talking about. I don't count the killbox, since that was more of a "Why are you threatening an official to the head of the secret police?!?!" type thing, and not just one of his personal berserk buttons.
- Location
- Liverpool
[X] Action Plan: Leaves on the tree
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I wouldn't suggest this unless the QMs specifically request it
[X] Action Plan: Leaves on the tree
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So, I find the Warlock of the Romcom Gods plan really interesting, but I feel it's too risky and chaotic for something that has huge stakes like whatever the Five clans are keeping secret about the entities they're connected to. Even though it feels really grating, I think we need to trust Keiko to tell us if whatever's up with the Five is something we need to know despite the danger of us getting executed because of it due to clan secrecy laws.
Keiko's words point towards her worrying that we are going to get killed for looking into the Five when it's not worth it since she seems to think they're not really a problem. I'm worried trying to get the information anyway, especially from her will damage our relationship since we're not trusting her position that her telling us isn't worth her having to choose between betraying the Nara and letting us probably die. If we need to try to know more we should ask Kagome what he knows while making sure we violate clan secrecy laws as little as possible; Hazo noticed his reaction when he mentioned things changing all of reality and while Kagome won't be able to tell Hazo about the shifts, he might know something that could help us. Also, don't know if people have already thought of this or how in-character it would be, but for looking into the nature of the out we could try to see if we could talk to one of the Tailed Beasts through one of the jinchuriki they could potentially know a lot that could help our investigations into the nature of reality. One way for us to know IC that the tailed beasts are intelligent is to ask Naruto about the Nine Tails, though that might be difficult with his hostility towards us. But if we know that it's worth investigating we can try to find a way to talk to a Tailed Beast either through Naruto if our relationship improves or see if we can get Ami to help us talk to Utakata at some point in the future if we ever learn about him.
[X] action plan: leafs falling slowly to the ground
[x] Action Plan: Let Velorien Write What He Wants
Keiko's words point towards her worrying that we are going to get killed for looking into the Five when it's not worth it since she seems to think they're not really a problem. I'm worried trying to get the information anyway, especially from her will damage our relationship since we're not trusting her position that her telling us isn't worth her having to choose between betraying the Nara and letting us probably die. If we need to try to know more we should ask Kagome what he knows while making sure we violate clan secrecy laws as little as possible; Hazo noticed his reaction when he mentioned things changing all of reality and while Kagome won't be able to tell Hazo about the shifts, he might know something that could help us. Also, don't know if people have already thought of this or how in-character it would be, but for looking into the nature of the out we could try to see if we could talk to one of the Tailed Beasts through one of the jinchuriki they could potentially know a lot that could help our investigations into the nature of reality. One way for us to know IC that the tailed beasts are intelligent is to ask Naruto about the Nine Tails, though that might be difficult with his hostility towards us. But if we know that it's worth investigating we can try to find a way to talk to a Tailed Beast either through Naruto if our relationship improves or see if we can get Ami to help us talk to Utakata at some point in the future if we ever learn about him.
[X] action plan: leafs falling slowly to the ground
[x] Action Plan: Let Velorien Write What He Wants
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- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
Unaligned Player
Agony that desires to meet Extinction
- Location
- Adrift between sanity and madness
- Pronouns
- Shrug
[X] Action Plan: Leaves on the tree
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
IIRC, there were other concerns that Akane had when she broke up with Hazou -- don't remember what they are at the moment. I'd bring those back up to her, and ask her if things have genuinely changed on that note, before resuming anything.
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Okay okay okay okay I figured it all out. Here's the new scheme, everything's properly integrated now and Shikamaru is complicit in sharing the information so Keiko doesn't feel too bad and we aren't listening in we're just a fellow victim!
Does it alleviate some of your (very legitimate) concerns, @Evolvingmind? This way, Keiko isn't betraying/failing anyone, Shikamaru is there too, in the very same boat.
I'm positively drunk with my own brilliance.
Does it alleviate some of your (very legitimate) concerns, @Evolvingmind? This way, Keiko isn't betraying/failing anyone, Shikamaru is there too, in the very same boat.
Reminder that that addition was conditional on your vote. You have to support my plan, otherwise I'll remove it.
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OK. Nope.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her