Chapter 311.2: Adoption Interviews — Noda Kaiyo
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Chapter 311.2: Adoption Interviews — Noda Kaiyo
"Stew and cider, please," Hazō said, smiling at the barmaid. The woman—who wasn't but three or four years older than himself, and wasn't that a thought, when he found himself automatically ascribing adult terms to her—smiled and ducked her head in something like a bow before hurrying back to the kitchen.
I didn't bothering rolling with Haru because I have a good read on his personality and history. For Noda I'm going to let the dice guide but not determine the narrative. Bonuses and penalties on her rolls are not shown.
Hazō uses 'Look Casual' to pretend he isn't specifically here for Noda. It is...
Hazō, Deceit: 24 - 6 (Severe consequence) + 4dF(+3): 21
Noda, Deceit: ? + 4dF: ?
...effective.
Hazō uses 'Friendly Chat'. It is...
Hazō, Rapport: 10 - 4 (Severe consequence) + tag "Mari Wrote My Script"(+2) + 4dF (+3): 11
Noda, Presence: ? + 4dF: ?
...effective.
Hazō uses 'Recruitment Pitch'. The dice determine how it is received but not Noda's decision.
Hazō, Presence: 15 - 6 (SevCon) + 4dF(0): 9
Noda, Resolve: ? + 4dF: ?
...hm.
Hazō uses 'Look Casual' to pretend he isn't specifically here for Noda. It is...
Hazō, Deceit: 24 - 6 (Severe consequence) + 4dF(+3): 21
Noda, Deceit: ? + 4dF: ?
...effective.
Hazō uses 'Friendly Chat'. It is...
Hazō, Rapport: 10 - 4 (Severe consequence) + tag "Mari Wrote My Script"(+2) + 4dF (+3): 11
Noda, Presence: ? + 4dF: ?
...effective.
Hazō uses 'Recruitment Pitch'. The dice determine how it is received but not Noda's decision.
Hazō, Presence: 15 - 6 (SevCon) + 4dF(0): 9
Noda, Resolve: ? + 4dF: ?
...hm.
Hazō pulled a stack of paperwork out of his shoulder pack and spread it out on the bar around himself. He studied the mass, shook his head in dismay, and picked up the first sheet. He was just finishing making notes on the third packet when the barmaid slid a bowl of rich beefy stew, a slab of warm bread, and a mug of hot cider in front of him.
"That smells amazing," he said with a smile, setting his brush down and pushing the papers aside to make room.
"Thank'ee, sir," the barmaid said, bobbing in gratitude. "May I get you anything else?"
Hazō shook his head. "I'm good, thanks. Put it on the Gōketsu tab, please."
"Yes sir." She vanished back into the kitchen; one thing that pretty civilian barmaids learned quickly was to leave male ninja to their own devices as much as possible. Even male ninja who barely needed to shave.
Hazō picked up the spoon, then hesitated and glanced to his left.
Noda Kaiyo, the target of this entire effort, sat two stools down from him. She had a mug in front of her full of sake. The mug was sized for water or beer, but he could smell the alcohol from where he sat.
"Sorry, I don't know why my food came first," he apologized. "What are you eating?"
Noda snorted. "Not."
Hazō cocked his head. "Not eating?"
She shook her head, still not looking at him.
"I'll trade you," he said, holding out the bowl. "This is too much for me, and I could use a belt to help me survive this stupid paperwork. Go halves?"
She finally glanced over, eyes narrowed. "Git yer own."
He shrugged. "Could do, but if we go halves then I have an excuse to talk to you and put off dealing with all this stuff." He gestured towards the paperwork and grinned.
She snorted in amusement, then glanced at the food and inhaled to check the aroma that wafted towards her.
"Fine," she muttered. "Halves."
"Cool." Hazō slid down one stool to sit next to her, bringing his stew and cider with him. He knocked back half the cider and held the mug out. "Top up?"
She poured some of the sake from her mug into his, then pulled the stew over and took a taste. A moment later she was shoveling it down as though she hadn't eaten for a week, taking spoonfuls with her right hand and using the bread in her left to pinch up chunks of beef and plop them in her mouth.
"'S good," she muttered.
Hazō sipped his thoroughly spiked cider and watched her eat, smiling a little at the sight.
"Nice to meet a new face," he said once she started to slow down. "Call me—"
"Gōketsu Hazō, missing-nin that Jiraiya adopted. I was at the announcement. You're head of the clan now, right?"
Hazō shrugged. "That's what it says on my mail. It sounds more exciting than it is; mostly it's a lot of paperwork. How about you? Got a name?"
"Noda Kaiyo, as if you didn't know."
He raised an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"
She paused in her eating to glare at him as though he were insulting her intelligence. "Head of a voting clan wanders into the Tag before noon, oh-so-casually sits at the bar, then strikes up a conversation? You're here to recruit me because I'm a jutsu hacker and you think that if you can get me off the sauce then I'll make you the next Flying Thunder God or something."
Hazō chuckled and spread his arms in surrender. "Busted. But I know you're not going to make the next Flying Thunder God. The Fourth was a sealmaster and a hacker, and the Flying Thunder God needed both. Neither one of us could pull it off on our own."
She paused mid-bite and glanced over at him with a curious tilt to her head. "What's this 'us'?"
Hazō shrugged and snagged the remains of the bread from her, dunking it in the stew and taking a bite.
"I'm a research sealmaster," he said, once his mouth was clear again. "Nothing like Jiraiya—obviously!—but not just a bang-and-store monkey either."
"Huh."
"You're right about the adoption thing. We're only allowed to adopt one person this year; my brother reviewed a couple hundred ninja and there's only three that we're interested in. You're one of them, so I'm here to ask if you're interested. Not making an offer yet, just checking if you're interested."
She went back to her food with a derisive snort, talking with her mouth full. "Think you can buy me with a bowl of stew?"
"Nah. That's why I made sure there was bread too."
She snorted again, this time in amusement, but still didn't look at him.
"Stupid to want me," she muttered, scraping the last traces of the stew out of the bowl and staring into it regretfully...only to blink in surprise as the barmaid, whose eye Hazō had caught a minute ago, slid another bowl of stew and trencher of bread in front of her, and its twin in front of Hazō.
Hazō shrugged. "You're a drunk, but when you're sober you're a damn good hacker. I think you should come join us; you'll fit right in. I've got an absolutely terrifying sister who isn't around that much anymore, another sister who is so bright and bouncy that a lot of people wonder if she's right in the head, and an uncle who is the most careful research sealmaster you could imagine." He sipped his cider. "Might be useful to chat with him about research protocols. He's got some good ideas."
She snorted. "Like I'd want to join your band of idiots. Jutsu's bad enough, but seal research? Even I'm not that stupid."
"Hey, Kagome-sensei hasn't had a seal failure as long as I've known him, and I've only torn the universe open twice." He thought for a moment. "I think."
"You think?!"
"Well, there was this thing with talking porcupines, but I'm pretty sure those were chakra constructs and not actually extradimensional sophonts. They dissolved after about ten minutes."
She chuckled. "One time I tangled up the chakra flows on a thing I was working on. Turned myself purple for a week."
Hazō sneered with monstrously overacted derision. "Turning yourself purple? That's the best you got? One time I threw myself out of my body and into a world of chaos and terror where I rode on a giant megalodon and dodged massive demonic claws."
"Yeah? Well, I set a circle a hundred yards across on fire."
He cocked his head. "How is that impressive?"
"It was on the ocean."
"Oh."
"And it kept burning for a week."
"Hm. Okay, how about this one: I accidentally made a rift to another dimension and these...blade-monster things came through it. They could pass through each other and everything. And they were immune to explosives and impact."
"Yeah? How'd you deal with it?"
"Sealed 'em up inside an Earth Wall bunker and left 'em there." He took a deliberate sip of his cider. "The rift has probably closed by now."
"Hmph. Worst a jutsu usually does is explode. You seal guys are fucking nuts."
"Eh. It's a living. So, want to come join us? Being in the clan means never worrying about money again and having research help from my uncle, a sealmaster so careful that he's had zero failures in two years."
"...Maybe."
"Cool. I'm going to get some pie, you want some?"
"Sure."
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