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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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MMKII said:
Yes, I recall. I dont see it being used frequently though at the moment, bringing it into public scrutiny may be problematic.



PMYF is (after decent effort making a better version) "Throw a speeding bus at your opponent" tier. Right now we can use it to instagib anyone with 100kg boulders.

Likewise, Macerators (as we saw in Event 5) are the perfect delivery system for pathogens, poisons and irritants.

Sharing these with Leaf as a whole might be good on the short term. Every ninja who brings these out onto the field is another possible OPSEC breach.

Three can keep a secret if two are dead.

In general: We should be exceedingly careful about any potential proto-WMDs we release to the public. What would Shikaku say?
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It would probably make strategic sense to keep the best seals under wraps to pull out as a trump card in the event of a war, so the enemy wouldn't have time to prepare counters or acquire copies to reverse engineer.

The tradeoff of course is that if there's no war or no war for a long while you've missed out on the benefit of those seals in all your other missions in the meantime.
 
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Langevin said:
Huh, I like this.

I believe one of the first historical examples of future trading was the Dōjima Rice Exchange, started in the late 1600s. Given the low population, short history, and quasi medieval society of the Elemental Nations, financial instruments more advanced than loans and insurance probably don't exist. There may be personal pacts for forwards and other futures-like trades, but probably not formal, transferable contracts. (Insurance has analogues in the medieval European triple contract, and probably other places.)

Bonus: If we invent Dōjima, we also get to invent the short squeeze!
(We should probably leapfrog straight to speculation on seal-based cryptocurrencies, though.)


Dōjima: Dōjima Rice Exchange - Wikipedia


Triple contract: Untitled Document
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We probably don't want to invent futures, only what are basically Over The Counter forward contracts. (The difference between the two is putting up margin and the daily mark-to-market process that allows a third party to run the market without taking on counterparty risk. We'll just have to deal with having counterparty risk, but that's less of a big deal in such a small community)
 
ThrustVectoring said:
We probably don't want to invent futures, only what are basically Over The Counter forward contracts. (The difference between the two is putting up margin and the daily mark-to-market process that allows a third party to run the market without taking on counterparty risk. We'll just have to deal with having counterparty risk, but that's less of a big deal in such a small community)
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Yeah, I just couldn't find much on the history of forward contracts in a shallow search. I don't see an obvious reason for them to be less feasible, though.

I think futures with ~100% margin and no margin calls would be fine too for something like this. Collateral requirements are annoying but they do reduce counterparty risk, and we could give the Tower a bit more power by establishing it as trusted collateral-holder. I agree that informal forward agreements are also fine, though there's definitely the possibility of unpleasant shenanigans.
 
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@QTesseract if you're looking to make a negaverse style thing, might I suggest this resource. Makes it fairly simple to make stuff like this [ok, as the edit history suggests, might not be quiet at easy as I thought, but still not too bad. I only had to follow instructions.

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  • The shift
    Conversation started by Stinkers, Yesterday at 8:25 AM.

    Page 1 of 30
      1   2   Next >
    ...who's asking
    ⬤

    Stinkers
    Hey. Youth!, did you notice the shift?
    Never too many explosive.
    ...who's asking Stinkers, Yesterday at 8:25 AM Report
    #1 + Quote Reply
    Chunnin
    ⬤

    Youth!
    The what? If this is related to mist-born alcohols, I'm maintaining that it was a good idea. Definitely worth the try.
    Have you considered Uplift?
    Chunnin Youth!, Yesterday at 8:29 AM Report
    #2 + Quote Reply
    ...who's asking
    ⬤

    Stinkers
    Mist-born alcohols? Are you crazy! Stinkers don't even have proper food, the only good thing about the alcohols is that they're strong, I'll give them that. Not that I've ever been to Mist. Or haven't been to Mist. Or anything related to Mist. Wait. No, I'm from Mist aren't I? Yes. Definitely from Mist. Right?
    Never too many explosive.
    ...who's asking Stinkers, Yesterday at 9:19 AM Report
    #3 + Quote Reply
    Chunnin
    ⬤

    Youth!
    Uh... is Mari with you? I feel like she should be helping out.
    Have you considered Uplift?
    Chunnin Youth!, Yesterday at 9:21 AM Report
    #4 + Quote Reply
    ...who's asking
    ⬤

    Stinkers
    No. She's out. I'm just here with Fifi. Anyways, we should get you kitted out to see the next shift. You'll know it when you see it. Er, you won't. But you will! Soon. Uh.... I'll tell you when you get back.
    Never too many explosive.
    ...who's asking Stinkers, Yesterday at 10:51 AM Report
    #5 + Quote Reply
    Jounin
    ⬤

    Red
    Just got back from refreshing my disguise kit. Stinkers you're fine. This is a private message people can't just waltz in here.

    Well... most people
    What're you looking at?
    Jounin Red, Yesterday at 11:00 AM Report
    #6 + Quote Reply
    Chunnin
    ⬤

    Youth!
    !!!
    Have you considered Uplift?
    Chunnin Youth!, Yesterday at 11:01 AM Report
    #7 + Quote Reply

    Page 1 of 30
      1   2   Next >

  • The shift
    Conversation started by Stinkers, Yesterday at 8:25 AM.

    Page 2 of 30
      < Prev   1   2
    ...who's asking
    ⬤

    Stinkers
    Oh. Yeah. Red got shifted a little. She can do weird things now.
    Never too many explosive.
    ...who's asking Stinkers, Yesterday at 11:35 AM Report
    #8 + Quote Reply
    Jounin
    ⬤

    Red
    Now now, just because I can access your little seal calls doesn't mean I'm special. You really should watch your OPSEC. Always assume other people are listening
    What're you looking at?
    Jounin Red, Yesterday at 11:36 AM Report
    #9 + Quote Reply
    ...who's asking
    ⬤

    Stinkers
    Stinkers listening? Where! I'll boom-splat em!
    Never too many explosive.
    ...who's asking Stinkers, Yesterday at 11:37 AM Report
    #10 + Quote Reply
    Chunnin
    ⬤

    Youth!
    Noted.
    Have you considered Uplift?
    Chunnin Youth!, Yesterday at 11:37 AM Report
    #11 + Quote Reply
    Chunnin
    ⬤

    Youth!
    Uh, Stinkers! I think you're fine. We should probably investigate the privacy matrix though when I get back.
    Have you considered Uplift?
    Chunnin Youth!, Yesterday at 11:38 AM Report
    #12 + Quote Reply

    Page 2 of 30
      < Prev   1   2


Edit 3: Well, I think I killed the first part. Oh well. The second is more impressive anyways.

Edit:
And not terribly hard to make it a full forum type thing with tabs like this:

Edit 2: I take it back. it's slightly harder.

Edit 4: The bbcode. It grows! I must contain it!

Edit 5: Clearly, the only option is to kill and restart.

Edit 6: Now with fresh eyes:

Edit 7: just gonna clean up some tags which appeared for some reason.

Edit 8: Huh. Guess those were necessary. Let's try again. Just gonna copy the full thing into clipboard for the next fix now.

Edit 9: That was some good foresight. Accidently used a { when I should have used a [.

Edit 10: now to finally remove those extraneous end thingies.[/size][/color][/size][/color][/size][/color][/size][/color][/size][/color][/size][/color][/size][/color][/size][/color][/size][/color][/size][/color][/size][/color][/size][/color]
 
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Chapter 216: Playing With Fire
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    • "I apologise," the guard said gruffly, looking down at Kei like an unimpressed elite chūnin looking down at an impertinent genin girl, "but the Hokage is in a meeting right now and can't be disturbed. Please come back later."

    Kei pondered her options. It seemed… unwise to attempt to intimidate the veteran guards of the Hokage Tower, and besides, after this afternoon, she was wary of over-reliance on that particular tool. Stealth was equally unlikely to succeed. She did not know how many shinobi before her had attempted to infiltrate the Hokage's office, nor how many of them had survived long enough to take their one-way journey to T&I. Perhaps she should simply wait, and gamble that the meeting would finish early enough for Jiraiya to bring Mari-sensei home without encountering gaming night guests.

    Her high was already fading, leaving her only with darker thoughts of Mari-sensei, her own general incompetence (by what miracle had she been able to convince Hana of anything?) and an uncertain future for all concerned. And, of course, she remained a Mori, substituting the final dregs of her anger for an initiative she did not possess. There did not appear to have been any dire mental consequences to her presumption, but on the other hand this could be because she had essentially spent the day blundering aimlessly from destination to destination, taking whatever action seemed obvious at the time. In retrospect, she should be ashamed of herself.

    QM Compel: "Just Follow the Plan".
    Keiko spends 1 FP to refuse.

    It would be vastly more natural and less dangerous for her to follow tradition and wallow in self-loathing. The furious animation that had permitted her to come this far was gone, and without it she was once again useless as an independent agent. Yet just this once, Kei would defy her limits for one simple reason: Mari-sensei was still waiting for her.

    "Allow me to present the matter to you from a different angle," Kei said. "You know the Hokage's policies better than I. Which would be worse, the consequences for allowing his daughter to interrupt his work, or the consequences for preventing his daughter from delivering urgent news pertaining to a noble clan?"

    The guards exchanged glances.

    "You know, you could have led with the 'urgent news' part."

    "Noted."

    Jiraiya was indeed in a meeting, his visitor a lanky man wearing a traveller's pack and ranting enthusiastically about the merits of some luxury item or other. Apparently, among other uses it was perfect for hot springs. Insofar as Jiraiya was Jiraiya, this had alarming implications.

    "Ah," Jiraiya said on seeing her, lightly and without displaying surprise. "Tobikomi, meet my daughter Keiko."

    The man turned to face her.

    The traditional response from a civilian would have been a bow, or at least a respectful nod to acknowledge her superior station—internalising that she was the princess of a noble clan, rather than the lesser daughter not spoken of lest it detract from the prestige brought by Ami, was still a work in progress, but Kei had no complaints. What Kei was not prepared for was the enormous grin.

    "Why, what a perfectly adorable little girl! And so tall for only ten years old. You must really be packing away your greens!"

    "Ten years old?" Jiraiya inquired curiously from behind him as Kei stood frozen with shock.

    "My best guess. You forget, Lord Hokage: I've had the delight of meeting your beautiful young wife in person. She must have given birth to little Keiko at a very early age."

    Mari-sensei? Give birth to her? Kei's brain decided to suspend operations rather than process either the image or its implications.

    "Here, little girl, no need to be shy. Uncle Jibura always has a treat for his customers' children. With your permission, Lord Hokage?"

    "Go ahead," Jiraiya replied, taking advantage of his position out of the man's line of sight to allow himself to shake with silent laughter.

    He would pay. They would all pay.

    The appalling man pulled a small, paper-wrapped package from his pack. "I've got some special eastern candy just for you, little Keiko. Would you like some?"

    He held the package out to her. Both men watched her, with paternal affection in one case and difficulty breathing in the other.

    Kei did not trust herself to open her mouth to refuse. She had a premonition that her first words would be "Summoning Technique", and it would all go downhill from there. She should just take the damned candy and conclude this encounter while she still had some modicum of self-control.

    Except the appalling man had it in a slightly cupped hand. She would have to risk touching him. The alternative would be to use non-verbal signals and reinforce Tobikomi's impressions of her childishness, as well as potentially hinting to Jiraiya that her issues went deeper than a mere distaste for physical affection (and that was none of his business).

    Kei silently prayed for a lack of panic attack as she took one step towards Tobikomi. A second. An increasingly apprehensive third. Then, with the courage of a chūnin throwing herself at the Yellow Flash to gain her squad a few extra seconds to flee, her hand darted out, snatched the candy with an absolute minimum of physical contact, and instantly retracted as if burned. She retreated swiftly, not trusting herself to remain in melee range of the man while her kunai were within easy reach.

    She suspected that from the outside she resembled a feral animal being coaxed to accept a treat.

    "Aren't you the sweetest thing," Tobikomi beamed. "Don't worry, I'm sure you won't be so scared of strangers once you grow up.

    "Well, then, Lord Hokage, please allow me to take my leave. I have a long journey ahead of me to collect those samples I promised, and I intend to set out at once."

    "Good evening to you, Tobikomi," Jiraiya said, the world's greatest spymaster visibly struggling to maintain a straight face.

    "And of course," Tobikomi said as he left, "I will be sure to spread the word about the loveliness of the Hokage's little girl wherever I go. No extra charge."

    His escape was mostly facilitated by Kei having to wait until she recovered the power of speech. "May I eviscerate him in an agonising fashion and suspend his desecrated remains from a gibbet as a warning to the rest of his misbegotten ilk, sir?"

    "No, little Keiko, you may not."

    Must not murder the Hokage. Nara Shikaku has refused the job. Must not murder the Hokage. Nara Shikaku has refused the job. Must not murder the Hokage. Nara Shikaku has refused the job.

    "Please?" she assayed diplomacy. "You could make it my birthday present."

    "Why can't you just ask for a chakra pony like a normal little girl?"

    Nara might change his mind if Hyūga Hiashi were the only other candidate left alive. And she would be the Hokage's daughter-in-law, which was still acceptable.

    That said, a tame chakra pony would make a formidable weapon, more than capable of mitigating her vulnerability at close range without the chakra expenditure or political strings of a summon. And if anyone had the resources to arrange such a thing, it would be the Hokage, between the sheer firepower required to capture the creature unharmed and the favours to have clan experts subjugate it to a human master.

    She could learn to touch it. Perhaps even to ride it. She would find it a name expressive of both majesty and subtle elegance, and custom barding to compensate for the gaps in its natural armour. Snowflake patterns? No, too obvious. Stars and astronomical symbols? Too fairy-tale. Classic black and red? Easy to coordinate with—even Kei knew that much—but it would feel too much like a missed opportunity. Clearly, the matter would require extensive consideration.

    "Done."

    "I beg your pardon?"

    "A chakra pony in exchange for sparing that man's life."

    Jiraiya's mouth dropped open. "I wasn't serious! Do you have any idea what one of those things can do?"

    "I was unaware that the Hokage was weak, or a man who did not honour his word."

    "Oh, is that how it's going to be? I guess I'd better break the news to the rest of the clan about how my adorable ten-year-old daughter wants a pony after shyly accepting candy from a civilian."

    "You would not dare."

    "Try me."

    The two locked gazes.

    A few seconds later, Kei heard the door behind her fly open.

    She did not break eye contact with Jiraiya. If an assailant capable of reaching the Hokage's office was close enough to strike, she was dead in any case.

    "Lord Hokage, we sensed a spike of killing intent!"

    "Return to your posts." Jiraiya waved the guards away, also without breaking eye contact. "I will deal with this one myself."

    Kei heard the door close.

    She was aware that her opponent was holding back. No genin, however determined, could actually hope to defeat Jiraiya of the Three in a battle of wills. But they were also both aware that he could not simply crush her with his full power the way he would crush an enemy, not if he wanted to ever earn her love and respect as his daughter. Some might consider exploiting that weakness cynical, but Kei was Mari-sensei's pupil and a social cripple. There was no advantage she would not seize to win.

    As the Hokage, Jiraiya was all but invincible. As an inexperienced parent facing a wilful teenage daughter… she would break him.

    "It seems we're at an impasse," Jiraiya said slowly, eventually.

    "Why, so we are."

    "I suppose you think you can keep this up indefinitely."

    "Only long enough to receive what I am owed."

    "I don't owe you anything. It was a hypothetical."

    "I followed your instruction, which was to request a chakra pony in preference to my original desire. For you to then deny the request would be duplicitous at the very least."

    "Nobody gets a chakra pony for their birthday. That's basic common sense."

    "Ah, so you manipulated me, with malice aforethought, into trading something for nothing. That certainly improves your moral stance."

    "I don't need a moral stance. I'm the Hokage."

    Kei raised an eyebrow.

    "I mean that as the Hokage, I can just order you not to kill civilians. You do get that, right?"

    "So you are exploiting the authority inherent in your office to retroactively justify reneging on a fairly made deal?"

    Jiraiya gave a weary sigh. "You know what, it's late and I don't have the energy to deal with this. Keiko, if you keep it up with this chakra pony crap, I'm going to make sure the entire clan hears the ten-year-old-girl story in full detail. They will tease you forever, and you can say goodbye to that death glare you use to keep the boys under control. There, cards on the table."

    "Mutually assured destruction, is it? Then I will tell them how their patriarch knowingly made his daughter a promise he could not keep, then attempted to blackmail her into silence. I will do this immediately after you have described to them, 'in full detail', the traumatic experience I was forced to endure while you did nothing but watch and laugh."

    "It's always the quiet ones," Jiraiya muttered.

    His eyes narrowed. "You're not getting a chakra pony. Leaf doesn't have the manpower to spare and you know exactly how full my plate is right now. Behave yourself and I promise I'll find you a birthday present you'll like just as much."

    "Chakra raptor."

    "That's worse! You can have a normal pet, like a cat or a dog. A smart one, like the Inuzuka have."

    "Normal pets are for normal people. Chakra unicorn."

    "Those don't exist. At least not at your clearance level. How about one of the minor chakra beasts? You know, something every kid will envy but not extermination mission material.

    "Except whatever Fifi is," he added as an afterthought. "That thing must never breed."

    "You raise an excellent point. Kagome is permitted a pet, and you have never inquired into its species."

    "Fine. A chakra collie, and I'll throw in some free books of your choice."

    "One is enough, thank you, and you are already overdue on providing the clan with a well-stocked library. Chakra chameleon, if you please, and a set of custom shuriken seals as used by Tenten."

    "Sorry, didn't quite catch that."

    "I said I wanted a"—Kei blinked—"chakra ostrich and a set of custom shuriken seals as used by Tenten."

    "That's what I thought. Those things are proprietary. You want some, you ask her yourself."

    "And the chakra ostrich?"

    "Over my dead body."

    Kei sensed that she was reaching the limits of Jiraiya's patience. Given that he had the power to unilaterally terminate negotiations, she would have to skip to the end and hope she had laid enough groundwork.

    "What about a juvenile chakra pony?"

    Jiraiya took a full minute to consider this.

    "…Early nymph stage tops. You have to take care of it, you're responsible for all costs, including compensation if it eats a civilian, and you're not to take it out on missions until it's an adult and it's been cleared by the Inuzuka Beastmaster."

    "WehaveadealJiraiyaHokagesir."

    "Finally. This should be a good one for Team Asuma. They're a capture squad, and more importantly it'll teach him not to be an ass about mission fees. Whatever he's saving up for is not my problem."

    Jiraiya took a few seconds to emerge from his fantasies of revenge.

    "What's that you're holding?"

    "Hastily-written legal contract awaiting your seal, sir."

    Jiraiya studied the contract thoughtfully.

    "I wonder if I could ship you to the Nara early and bump up the dowry to compensate. Would Shikaku consider tonight too soon?"

    He stamped the contract with his seal. Kei's heart soared.

    "All right, enough tomfoolery for one evening. Did you have a reason to come here other than extorting an overworked old man?"

    Kei's heart plummeted back into the depths where it belonged. She had been focusing on her own trauma and her own selfish desires while Mari-sensei was still there, in that dark room, weeping.

    She explained this to Jiraiya, omitting Hana's involvement for the time being. She suspected that having the Hokage murder the Mizukage's sister would not improve the situation any.

    "Fuck," Jiraiya eloquently summarised. "And this is the night when half of Leaf is going to be crammed inside the Gōketsu compound."

    He rose from his chair and violently stuffed the stack of papers in front of him into a drawer visibly too small to contain them. It was a credit to Nara-optimised paper that a few of them survived unharmed.

    "I'm going to go to the café and extract her. You go home and get everyone to run interference. Which is to say, pretend everything's normal, keep the guests busy, and under no circumstances let any of them go upstairs, or into the west wing, because I'll be using the west entrance to bring her back."

    "There is no west entrance."

    "There will be."

    -o-​

    The gaming night had yet to truly begin, and the Gōketsu vixen was already looking harried. Doubtless she was only now realising that she'd bitten off more than she could chew as a hostess. A woman like that could never be Shikamaru's Lady Yoshino. Here is hard evidence for a previously untested claim.

    Not that Shiori was the gloating type. She was simply stating the obvious. To herself. Repeatedly. While smiling.

    The setup was perfect. If Gōketsu was already off-balance, it would make her that much more vulnerable during their long-awaited confrontation.

    "Gōketsu, may I have a word in private?"

    The so-called noble gave her a blank look. "Of course. Please follow me to an empty room."

    Shiori followed, but stopped when she saw the sign over the door.

    "G-Gōketsu, I didn't mean that kind of private!"

    Gōketsu looked up at the sign, which read, "Flesh Combination Chamber".

    "Please pay it no mind. We inherited this compound from a previous owner, and many of the rooms now serve a purpose he did not intend."

    Oh, right. Sexually deviant libertine.

    Gōketsu gestured for her to sit. Shiori looked down uneasily.

    "This is an ordinary chair, right?"

    "Of course. Forgive me if it does not meet expectations—we have not had time to furnish secondary rooms such as this with our preferred kinds of furniture."

    Shiori didn't dare to ask.

    "Gōketsu Keiko. I do not believe we've met."

    She didn't know who she was. This vile seductress, the woman plotting to take away her Shikamaru, hadn't even bothered to investigate her rival. Or was this just another calculated insult?

    "Nara Shiori," she said through gritted teeth. "Shikamaru's personal assistant. He is unwell and asked me to come in his stead." It wasn't an ordinary part of her duties—she didn't have the social training to represent the clan at an event for the nobility—but when she remembered the adult game Gōketsu had sent her, and the note that came with it, Shiori had agreed without a second thought.

    "Ah, yes," Gōketsu said, pretending to finally remember. "You were responsible for that… memorable itinerary."

    A reminder of Gōketsu's victory in the face of Shiori's best efforts, casually thrown in her face. Well, Shiori refused to be put on the defensive so easily.

    "Not as memorable as what you sent me afterwards."

    Gōketsu must have sensed the hostility in her voice. "Was it too blunt? If so, apologies. I am sometimes insensitive to such subtleties."

    The image of certain implements featured in Gōketsu's gift floated to the top of Shiori's mind. She was worried they were too blunt? When they were unpacking the game, Shiori thought they felt pleasantly rounded—and she was going to cut off that thought right there. But for Gōketsu to just openly discuss her sensitivity to such things with a stranger? What was wrong with her?

    Or… what if Shiori's worst suspicions were correct and Gōketsu was already treating her as part of her planned ménage a trois? Was she about to ask for Shiori's most intimate secrets in return? Was Shiori supposed to have those? What if she needed some for tonight's games?

    "I, um, can't comment on any of that. We didn't end up playing in the end." So smooth, Shiori. No wonder Gōketsu was already talking rings around her.

    "Oh, yes. Now I recall, Nara said something about there being 'no game'. I do apologise. I suppose they must have given you the wrong package at the shop. However, please be reassured that you will not require prior experience for the version we will be playing tonight. It offers a wide variety of different tools and approaches, in many cases more elaborate than those of the two-player game, and in some ways it is better that you will be approaching it with a more open mind. Although, with fifteen other guests, I cannot guarantee you a place in a Strategic Dominance game."

    "F-Fifteen guests?"

    "Fear not. We have a sufficient variety of other games as well. If you are naturally suited to roleplaying, for example, perhaps Hazō will fulfil a desire you did not know you possessed. Strictly speaking, it was Noburi who crafted 'The Witch King's Chains', but in his absence Hazō should have no difficulties guiding a beginner through the adventure."

    "Ch-Chains?"

    "No? Well, there is always Sealing Failure. I understand it can be an acquired taste—people can be strangely uncomfortable playing with portals to forbidden realms, constant tentacle assaults and unnatural eldritch abominations—but I personally have grown to rather enjoy it. If that sounds intimidating, I can confirm that, since total cooperation on the human side is required for survival, it is reasonably beginner-friendly. However, take care to accept guidance from more experienced players in order to minimise sanity loss."

    Shiori found herself feeling faint. She had never even considered the implications of… experimentation… with the Gōketsu sealmasters. Was it too late to run for her life?

    No. She was here as Shikamaru's representative. He believed in her. In fact, if he'd sent her, maybe he meant for her to acquire new skills and experiences so she could one day be a better lover for him. It all sounded… frankly blood-chilling, but if it was for him, she could try to expose herself to whatever the gaming night had to offer.

    Her head still spinning from all the obscenity into which she was expected to throw herself (fifteen strangers!), she suddenly remembered that she had called Gōketsu out for a reason. Tonight, yes, tonight would see her formal declaration of war.

    "There is something I want to say to you, Gōketsu." Shiori steeled herself.

    "Oh?"

    "I know you think you hold all the cards. I know you think all the pieces are already in place and I don't stand a chance against your underhanded tactics. But I promise you: I will not go down easily." Aaargh, worst possible choice of words ever!

    "This game is only just beginning," Shiori hurried on before Gōketsu took that last part as a challenge, "and if you think it's all going to go your way, then you know nothing about real Nara. I know the odds. I know them all too well. But I also know that you can't predict the outcome until the final throw of the dice. I'm willing to stake everything I have on this battle. Are you?"

    "Gambling is not a social activity to which I am accustomed," Gōketsu said after a second to take in the passion behind Shiori's declaration, "and it would seem unfair to compete in such given the clear gap in skill between us at this time."

    Oh, that utter bitch. The restraint it took for Shiori not to simply slap her and take the consequences…

    "Then again, if you believe you have the requisite natural talent, I would be happy to test it in a game of Strategic Dominance. As to the stakes…

    "Ah, perfect. Tomorrow, I am due for an instance of two individuals spending a day together in order to facilitate greater mutual knowledge and familiarity, arranged in anticipation of a potential long-term relationship."

    "You mean a date?"

    "No! Why does everyone keep assuming that? I will merely be socialising with Nara, as befits his presumptive fiancée."

    It took all of Shiori's self-control not to growl as Gōketsu gleefully punched her in the gut with reality. On an objective level, she envied the woman's deft mastery of social skills, which allowed her to casually drop massive insults into the conversation in ways that would make Shiori sound unreasonable if she called them out. You lack the foundations necessary to proceed with your argument and should backtrack while you have the chance. She did not and would not. Screw you, inner Nara.

    "Regardless," Gōketsu went on, "this arrangement, once unproblematic, now interferes with other potential plans for the day. As Nara's assistant, it would not be difficult for you to invent a pretext to replace me and spend the day with him instead."

    Shiori gasped. What was this? Was she being toyed with? Was this a peace offering? Or part of some incredibly subtle game? She refused to give up—ever—but she had to admit that Gōketsu's sophisticated noble wiles were making her feel increasingly outclassed.

    "I accept," she said quickly. "And what if you win?"

    "That is if I win."

    No, never mind. Shiori gave up.

    "I admit, however, that I am at a loss as to what to offer you if you win. The direct reversal, after all, would to be for you to spend the day with me instead."

    That jolted Shiori right back into consciousness. It was all starting to become clear to her. Gōketsu was placing her in a situation where she could only lose. If she wanted to be with Shikamaru tomorrow, Shiori had to accept a humiliating public defeat on her first gaming night, right after claiming to be a worthy challenger to Gōketsu. But if she won, then she was honour-bound to spend a whole day in that woman's clutches with no hope of escape. She couldn't deny that the deviousness of it was exquisite.

    And it was a trap. It had to be a trap. Even Gōketsu couldn't possibly want to go on a real date with another girl. Especially Gōketsu, who was so focused on stealing Shikamaru's heart.

    "With that said," Gōketsu mused, "I doubt I could be of much value to you as a conversationalist…"

    Damn straight. The very idea of learning what was truly on her mind made Shiori sick.

    "…so perhaps we should confine ourselves to physical activity, which I have found to be as valid a way to spend a day with a person of one's interest as any other."

    Shiori's heart stopped. She would never, ever tempt fate again, not even in the private confines of her mind.

    "Unless, of course, you have a superior suggestion?"

    Mercy! Bliss! Salvation from on high! (Actually, Gōketsu was shorter than her, being only fourteen, but right now Shiori would take whatever she could get.) Her tormentor was offering her an out! Even if it was a setup for an even deadlier trap, right now Shiori had no choice but to take it. All she had to do was un-knot her tongue so she could use it to take advantage of the opening Gōketsu had presented to her—and she was going to strike that sentence from the record and then set the record on fire.

    She might never get a chance like this again. Right here, right now, she would put everything she had on the line and throw down the gauntlet in a way that allowed for no misinterpretation. She might not be able to do anything about the arranged marriage—not yet—but she could at least stymie that vixen's brazen efforts to seduce Shiori's beloved.

    "If I win," she said boldly, "then you will swear never to lay hands on Shikamaru!"

    Finally, Gōketsu looked completely blindsided.

    "Why would I… oh, are you concerned that I may harm him during close contact? But our styles are both based around maintaining distance."

    Thank goodness. She wasn't too late. Gōketsu's seduction attempts had yet to overcome Shikamaru's natural reserve, and she thought the way to do it was to mirror his low emotional engagement. A woman motivated only by cold self-interest could never understand that it was closeness that lowered people's barriers.

    Even so, Shiori didn't dare underestimate her.

    "I've made my decision," Shiori said resolutely, "and you will not be able to talk me out of it. I'll see you on the battlefield, Gōketsu."

    "Third room on the left," Gōketsu said. "You may need to bring an extra chair."

    -o-​

    It was, unfortunately, no surprise that Neji hadn't been able to make it to the gaming night. Hazō hoped he was OK, or at least being treated fairly (which, he had to admit when he thought about the Proctor HQ fiasco, were not necessarily the same thing). This was not to say, however, that the Hyūga Clan was above lobbing them other curveballs.

    "My name is Hyūga Hanabi," the girl of about nine said with adult seriousness. She bowed, her hands folded humbly in front of her. "Father chose to give me Cousin Neji's invitation so that I could meet the heirs and important genin of the other clans. I am sorry for any unintended insult, and for being late.

    "Can I play with you?"

    "Welcome aboard, Hyūga," Hazō said. They were of more or less equal status and she was a child, but Hazō still didn't have a clear sense of how these things worked for clan ninja, so he was sticking to her family name.

    "Please call me Hanabi. You are all my highly respected seniors whom I one day hope to imitate."

    Wow.

    "Oh, except you two." Hanabi looked at Genda and Sugiyama, Nakano's teammates. "You have to use my clan name. I'm sorry, but before I left, Father commanded me to avoid undue familiarity with the low-born."

    The temperature in the room fell by several degrees.

    "So," Hazō said after a second with as much false cheer as he could muster, "now that we're done with the introductions"—they weren't—"why don't I explain to you how this game is going to work…"

    -o-​

    "Ha ha ha," Genda laughed, his booming voice causing the players next to him to briefly lean away. "That plate mail getting too heavy for you, Puissance? I count five new notches on my blade. Did you even kill three?"

    "Four," Rock Lee retorted, "and they all died much more youthfully than yours."

    "Now, boys," Sugiyama said, "this is no time for a dic"—she glanced at Hanabi—"beard-measuring contest. We need to hurry if we're going to reach the village before nightfall."

    "Quite right," Akimichi said. "All that matters is that they are dead and we are rich. Or richer. We should try to be ambushed by a better class of bandit in the future."

    "Fine. I collect my throwing axes and set off."

    "Just a moment," Hanabi said. "Gamesmaster, is the bandit chief still alive?"

    "He is," Hazō said. "You explicitly said that you were pulling your final blow."

    "What?!" Genda snarled. "What're we supposed to do with a stinkin' priso—"

    Hanabi calmly held up her hand. Despite the fact that she was a small child and Genda was a taijutsu fighter built like a brick outhouse, the aura of gravity around her completely shut down his objection. Hazō had to introduce this girl to Keiko and see what happened.

    "In that case," Hanabi said in her high-pitched, squeaky voice, "I walk over to him and use my ceremonial kris to cut out his still-beating heart, squeeze it in a sweeping motion so that the blood forms a circle around my feet, and then consume it whole as is only proper."

    Dead silence.

    "Hanabi," Akimichi said tentatively, "weren't you supposed to be playing a paladin?"

    "That's right. I am a massacre maiden of Lord Jashin, sworn to his service since birth and fated to drown this world in blood and darkness in His name—once we're done saving it from the Witch King, of course. I also took levels of barbarian so that I can enter a blood rage whenever my master chooses to channel His endless hunger through me."

    The silence did not get any less dead.

    "I've been listening to my sister's Chūnin Exam stories!" Hanabi said brightly.

    -o-​

    So far, the party was a roaring success. People were mingling, Nakano's team wasn't meeting with any more overt discrimination, Rock Lee was too into a game of Civilian Burger to be Rock Lee at anyone, and everybody loved both Mum's cookies (though she'd brought fewer than he expected) and Kagome-sensei's masterwork snacks.

    The pair themselves were ensconced in the apocalypse-proof armoured bunker that Kagome-sensei called his room, he having decided that he'd had enough of crowds for the night, and she having found a keen audience for her recollections of what it was like to be a mother putting a child through the Academy, and how in her opinion the place would be better off burned to the ground and rebuilt by competent people who actually cared about children and also didn't take drugs on the job.

    Hazō's only complaint was how incredibly exhausting it all was. Jiraiya and Mari-sensei were upstairs and not coming down, Noburi was absent, Kagome-sensei had been of dubious help even when he was here, and Keiko, while certainly a reliable gamesmistress, had eventually bowed out to pursue her own interests (whatever that meant). Even after Hanabi went home early, citing a strict curfew, Hazō was left managing fifteen people (and a dog) on his own.

    There was one thing, though, that he had to do before he collapsed in the kitchen over a revitalising mug of hot chocolate.

    "Everyone, once you're done with your current game, please come through to the Greater Lounge."

    The Greater Lounge, originally a specimen containment area, was the biggest room on the ground floor. The Gōketsu were low on furniture right now relative to the massive size of the compound, so on Mari-sensei's pre-breakdown advice, Hazō had provided large, colourful cushions in a variety of sizes, which gave the place a cosy, intimate feel despite its size. In accordance with the same advice, the cushions were separated into clusters, which would allow people to break up into smaller groups without having their conversations interfere with each other.

    "Tonight, we are going to play Yakuza, a classic, some would say the classic party game!"

    "Never heard of it," Inuzuka said.

    "It used to have another name," Hazō said, "but that information is classified." The name was Mist Infiltration Group, and Jiraiya had permitted its revival only on condition of a re-theming which in no way associated ninja authority with mass voting.

    "All right. First off, we need a setting. Somewhere you can have a group of civilians without any strangers turning up."

    "What about a ship?" Nara suggested. "I mean if this is the part of the evening where we, um, you know, and we have to pretend to be somewhere, I think a ship would be nice. I'm sorry. I'll shut up now."

    "No, no, I like it, Shiori," Akimichi said.

    "Yeah, that makes sense."

    "Let's go with a ship."

    "A ship it is," Hazō said mournfully. "All of you are sailors on a ship carrying valuable cargo. Except five of you who are secretly yakuza. You want the cargo, but you can't handle all the real sailors, so you will be killing them off one by one every night. Then, during the day, everyone—including you—will be voting on who they think is a yakuza. Once there's a consensus, that person gets thrown overboard and you find out their role. Then it's night again and the whole thing repeats. The innocents win if they manage to throw all the yakuza overboard. The yakuza win if they outnumber the innocents… for obvious reasons. If you die, you're a ghost. You can stay awake at night, but you aren't allowed to communicate in any way.

    "Oh, and remember, you're all civilians. No using any kind of ninja powers. Inuzuka, Akamaru counts as a ninja power."

    "Damn."

    "Now, I'm going to hand out the cards. Red means you're innocent; black means you're a yakuza. Never show anyone your card."

    So far, so good.

    "Now that you all know your roles, it's night-time. All players, close your eyes. Yakuza, open your eyes. Yakuza, point at the person you want to kill."

    The yakuza began to point, gradually converging on a single target.

    "No, choosing a newcomer first would be most unyouthful!"

    Hazō facepalmed. "Hand in your cards. We're starting again."

    -o-​

    "Of course you're a yakuza, Kiba," Yamanaka said. "I heard you moving during the night phase. It was like a chakra behemoth barrelling through the room, only without the fine motor control."

    "You so did not! Nobody can hear me when I'm being stealthy unless I let them!"

    "Well," Yamanaka smirked, "I think that counts as a confession. Hope you can do the doggy paddle, Kiba, 'cause you're about to walk the plank."

    -o-​

    "I'm completely innocent," Hyūga said sweetly. "If I was a yakuza, would I have accused Shino, who turned out to be a yakuza, last round?"

    "Fair point," Akimichi said. "I take back my accusation. So who do you think it is?"

    "I can't be sure," Hyūga said, "but I have this impression that Shino and Mitarashi were giving each other meaningful looks earlier. Did anyone else notice that?"

    "Huh," said Sugiyama. "Now that you mention it… Yeah, I'll second that accusation."

    In the background, unnoticed by any but Hazō, Aburame's ghost gazed at Hyūga and Sugiyama in mute betrayal.

    -o-​

    "Only six left," Yamanaka said. "Come on, people, we're nearly there."

    "It has to be Yuriko, right?" Hyūga asked, indicating Sugiyama. "She voted against executing Kiba at the start."

    "So did Lee," Akimichi said. "I don't think it's that strange for someone to make a mistake during the first round."

    "Fair enough," Hyūga said. "Not Yuriko, then. Kurenai-sensei, do you have an alibi?"

    "I haven't made a single wrong vote yet," Kurenai said. "I must be the worst yakuza ever."

    "You also abstained quite a lot."

    "Because I wouldn't want to condemn someone without evidence. Would you, Hinata?"

    Hyūga smiled. "Touché. Rock Lee?"

    "I would never be so unyouthful as to kill somebody, or to keep secrets from my trusted allies."

    "Same as before, I think," Kurenai said. "Lee is either a master of deception or a raving lunatic, and either way it doesn't give us any information."

    "I bet it's Chōji and Hinata," Yamanaka said unexpectedly. "Chōji's spent half the game backing Hinata up on everything, and she was pretty fierce arguing for him that round he got accused."

    "We can only vote on one of them," Sugiyama pointed out. "If we have to pick one, I'd say Chōji's more suspicious. Hinata's been talking constantly, while Chōji's mostly sitting back and listening. It's like he's been hiding in her shadow."

    "I see what you mean," Yamanaka said. "Hinata might be a yakuza, but at least she's been giving us all plenty of opportunities to watch her body language and tone of voice and stuff for hints. Chōji's been doing the opposite. I'm convinced."

    "That's two votes for Akimichi," Hazō said.

    "Three votes," Hyūga said. "Sorry, Chōji, but it's you or me."

    "I can't believe I didn't see it earlier," Akimichi said. "It's Hinata. She's been building up to this all along."

    "Don't look at me," Yamanaka said. "As far as I'm concerned, you're both guilty as heck. But sometimes in life, a woman has to make a choice."

    She looked to the remaining two. "If you think Hinata's a yakuza—which she blatantly is—then we have to execute Chōji first. Then she kills one of us, the remaining three vote for her, and Team Innocent wins. What do you say, Lee, Kurenai-sensei?"

    Neither of them said anything.

    The silence grew tenser and tenser until—

    "I abstain," Kurenai said heavily.

    "Majority vote for Akimichi," Hazō said. "Akimichi is thrown overboard and eaten by ravenous chakra sharks. Unfortunately… he was innocent. The yakuza win."

    "Damn," Kurenai spat. "I knew it!"

    "Wait…" Hyūga said. "Hazō, are you sure you didn't make a mistake somewhere?"

    "Yeah," Sugiyama said. "There are still three innocents left."

    "No," Yamanaka said, her smile slowly stretching into a cruel grin. "No, there aren't."

    "What?!" Hyūga and Sugiyama screamed.

    "The rules say a yakuza has to point at the person they want to kill. They don't say you have to want to kill someone."

    "I didn't misremember the intro," Hyūga said in a hollow voice. "You were the fifth yakuza."

    "It's terribly dangerous, being a yakuza," Yamanaka said innocently. "You never know when your own allies might give you away in order to divert attention from themselves. Or by accident, for that matter. Did you know Shino kept glancing at you two from behind his sunglasses?"

    "Tell me about it," Hyūga agreed. "He had to go."

    In the background, Aburame's ghost squirmed.

    -o-​

    The evening was growing late, and Shiori's tension was only building. After completely obliterating her at Strategic Dominance (and then, because she was an enormous bitch, apologising for not holding back enough), Gōketsu had requested that she abide by the terms of the bet and go on a date with Shikamaru. Shiori was torn between light-headed joy and a miserable awareness that all this was part of Gōketsu's plan. Until she could figure out what that twisted fiend had in store for her, she would be stuck waiting for the other shoe to drop.

    She'd considered screwing up her courage and just demanding answers, but a single glance had dissuaded her from the notion. The sheer venomous condescension in Gōketsu's every motion as she played with Tenten made Shiori realise that her earlier insincere politeness had been a form of mercy. But Tenten lived up to her reputation even with her opponent's true nature bared. Her uncompromising concentration, rarely taking her eyes off Gōketsu's face for more than a second, was a dragonslayer's blade waiting for that single perfect strike, even as she defied Gōketsu's corrosive emotional subversion with nothing but purity of intent. So this was true high-level play.

    Shiori was going nowhere near it.

    And speaking of dropping shoes, she'd been here for hours and she was still conscious, sane and relatively innocent. Something was very wrong.

    No, on second thought, it made perfect sense. Shiori was far from the only beginner present, and with Gōketsu Keiko as one of the gaming night's organisers, it was entirely logical for her to first lure them in with innocent versions of the games and undeservedly earn their trust. That was how she operated. Once the beginners relaxed and let down their guard, it would be much easier to inveigle them into true perversion before they knew it.

    So why hadn't anyone inveigled her into true perversion yet? Did they think it was fun constantly oscillating between fearful anticipation and bemused relief?

    "Excuse me," she addressed Nakano. "When are we having the… you-know-what?"

    "The what now?"

    "You know. The, um, orgy."

    Nakano goggled. "These gaming night things have orgies? Is that the reason the Gōketsu invited my team out of nowhere?"

    "I-I don't know. It's my first time too."

    "It has to be some kind of joke," Nakano said. "I know noble clans are different, but still… Hey, Aburame, is there really going to be an orgy?"

    "I am unaware of any such," Shino said, "but then this is also my first gaming night. It should be an easy matter to settle, however. Why? Because Miss Mitarashi is here, and she has a… reputation which would imply detailed knowledge of such."

    "G-Good point," Shiori said. "I guess I'll go ask her and let you know."

    She crossed the room, carefully stepping around her… potential partners.

    "M-Miss Mitarashi, is there going to be an orgy tonight?" she asked in a whisper.

    Mitarashi's eyes lit up. "An orgy? Aw, hell yeah! Can't say I care for all the unripe fruit, but I reckon I'll have my hands oh so full finally teaching Kurenai to apply her skills to something useful!"

    Half of Shiori was trembling with terror, while the other half was evaluating and ranking the boys based on several interrelated criteria derived from practical heuristics. If she was going to plummet into depravity, she would at least do so as a Nara.

    -o-​

    "Hey, Ino," Kiba said anxiously. "Did you hear? There's going to be an orgy. Like, what are we supposed to do?"

    Ino looked down at her feet, her face bright red. "None of the other heirs are leaving, so it would m-make the clan look bad if I was the only one, right?"

    "Smart," Kiba nodded. "Sorry, Akamaru, but you heard her. Go take a walk. I love you, bro, but not in that way."

    -o-​

    "Is this for real, Hinata?" Chōji asked. "Nobody told me anything in advance."

    "Is it really such a big deal?" Hinata replied. "It's just sex. You see it all over the place."

    She tapped her finger to her lips as if remembering something. "Well, I suppose you don't. You should take advantage of this opportunity to educate yourself."

    "That's very… uninhibited of you."

    "I really wouldn't stress over it. Look, Ino and that Shiori girl aren't going anywhere either."

    "Good point. I can't be the only one letting the side down."

    -o-​

    "Hey, Lee," Kiba said. "Am I the only one who thinks this is a bad idea? Like, what are you going to do if you end up paired with another dude?"

    Lee spun around to face him, fire in his eyes. Kiba took an involuntary step back.

    "That's hardly the issue here!" Lee exclaimed. "Nobody's been able to tell me whether orgies are youthful or not, and I'm running out of time!"

    -o-​

    The rest of the room did not exist for Kei. This was her long-awaited reward for an afternoon of thankless toil and madness. She gazed across the game board at Tenten, who met her eyes with an enraptured look before playing her soldier card, placing the yakuza pawn so that it completely erased Kei's grain supply. Then she "randomly" selected one of Kei's cards, stealing the last of Kei's precious grain with unerring precision and locking her in a cycle of resource starvation unless she accepted trade at ruinous rates. Kei smiled fondly at her as she sorted her remaining hand, with its excessive number of sheep, and reached for the road token that would win her the Longest Road award and demolish Tenten's expansion plan, transforming her brick and lumber cards into so much coloured paper. Nothing could distract her from this moment of bliss.

    "Hey, Gōketsu, when are we going to start the orgy?"

    Kei dropped her sheep.

    Tenten's eyes widened into saucers and her mouth opened slightly as she stared at Kei. Her face flickered through a dozen different emotions.

    It took Kei only a second to analyse the situation and draw the inevitable conclusion. "Hazō…" she growled as she stormed out of the room.

    -o-​

    Hazō, pale and shaken from the unprovoked wrath of Keiko, still exhausted, and with a rapidly-cooling mug of hot chocolate in his hand, loudly cleared his throat. Every eye in the room turned on him.

    "It seems there has somehow been a misunderstanding. Gaming nights do not, I repeat, do not feature orgies."

    "Oh, hey," Mitarashi grinned. "You mean this one is a special occasion? And you thought of little old me? Good call, kid. This shindig got twice as sexy the moment I walked in the front door."

    "That's not why we invited you! We weren't planning any kind of orgy to begin with!"

    "Spontaneous is good too," Mitarashi allowed. "Not like I've never been struck by divine inspiration halfway through a social before."

    "Divine inspiration?" The concept was more than intriguing, but Hazō quickly remembered himself. "No, that's not the point. The Gōketsu Clan does not host orgies!"

    "Oh, I getcha."

    Hazō relaxed.

    "Noble clans are all classy and shit," Mitarashi went on. "So this is what, a debauch? An adult revel? Ooh, maybe a bacchanalia?"

    "What even is—"

    "But enough talk... Have at you!"

    Mitarashi reached up and began to pull off her top. Hazō was struck dumb by the most incredible pair of breasts he'd ever seen.

    He was snapped out of his stupor several seconds later by the realisation that Mitarashi was now working on her belt, and that other people in the room were beginning to stir. The orgy was now in progress, despite his objections, and he had time for maybe a single sentence if he wanted to stop tonight from going down in history.

    Hazō took a deep breath…

    QM Compel: "Open Mouth, Insert Foot".

    -o-​

    It had been, without question, the most awkward night of Ino's life. She wished she could just lock the memory away in the deepest recesses of her mind and never think of it again (there was probably clan ninjutsu for that), but she knew better than anyone how fast rumours spread. Better if Dad found out from her. At least this way she could restrain his overprotective father mode enough that he didn't go burn down the Gōketsu residence or something. It would be hard to make this situation even worse than it was, but she had faith in his ability to do so.

    Of course, that meant all his anger would be turned on her instead. But surely he'd understand that she hadn't instigated anything—she'd just been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and then had to make a judgement call under pressure. Everybody made mistakes.

    Ah, who was she kidding? She was grounded for life.

    And what would Akane say when she heard? No, Ino wasn't even going to think about that. At least if she was forced to spend the rest of her life locked up in her room, she'd probably never find out.

    About her only source of consolation was that she'd been right to be pissed off with that loser Gōketsu. For a clan heir, even an inexperienced one, he'd taken far too long to firm up, and his technique could be described as rough at best. Frankly, if he'd just been more dominant from the very start, he could have spared them all a lot of embarrassment. Not that she was blameless—if she'd only paid attention to what he was trying to do instead of getting caught up in her own imagination, she could have taken matters into her own hands and done a much better job.

    Instead, when he finally stopped vacillating and took the plunge…

    -o-​

    "The orgy is cancelled!" Hazō bellowed.

    Mitarashi took her hands off her belt. Everyone else stopped whatever they were doing.

    "Whaaat? C'mon, Gōketsu, you can't promise and then not deliver. I'm not gonna get on your case for getting cold feet at the last second, so just sit this one out while the rest of us—"

    "Mari-sensei is sick and needs her rest," Hazō said with a belated smoothness. "She won't be able to sleep if you start making noise this late."

    "Aw. Fine," Mitarashi pouted. "You heard him, boys and girls. Get your stuff and start heading home, all quiet-like."

    She reluctantly hopped onto the ceiling (teaching Hazō some fascinating things about gravity) and retrieved her top from the light fixture. People began to breathe sighs of relief, and in some cases possibly disappointment.

    "Don't get me wrong, Gōketsu, I had a good time and all, but you still owe me an orgy. Don't think I'll forget it. Regards to Mari and the big guy."

    And that was the point at which Hazō realised that he was going to be the one to explain all of this to Jiraiya.

    -o-​

    You have earned 1 + 1 XP and 1 FP. Keiko has lost 1 FP.
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • @Velorien

    You are the very definition of Evil.

    Reaction later, but oh damn that was good...
     
    ...well. I certainly picked a hell of a time to finish catching up with the main threadmarks. Update was hilarious, though I'm becoming concerned that Rock Lee may be contagious, considering some of the contortions people managed to go through to get things as far as they got.

    Anyway, time to backtrack for all the Sidestories and Apocrypha. Ye gods this quest has a lot of content.
     
    Oh my god I scrolled down to the bottom to check how long it was and saw '"The orgy is cancelled!" Hazō bellowed.' what the hell is going on.
     
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