Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

"Listen, everyone, this isn't something I'm doing on a whim. Orochimaru's dossier tells us that Hidan's blood-sensing range is 'a few miles'. I don't know what 'a few miles' means, but I'm confident that it's longer than the one-mile range on my Remote Explosive rune. Runes can't be moved after they're infused, so any RERs we want to use need to be infused within a mile of the target. If I go that close, Hidan could spot me. Shadow clones seem to have the same blood that I do for purposes of Hidan's detection, so if they go that close to do the infusion, Hidan could spot them. Leaving that aside, I don't have the chakra reserves to infuse enough runes without Noburi's support or the bioseal that Orochimaru has agreed to give me."

Hazō looked around at his family, reading the reservations in their faces. "Don't get this wrong: five villages almost lost this fight last time. Five Kage, multiple S-rankers including all three Sannin, a small army of jōnin, the Toad Sages, all backed up by the entire Wakahisa clan's chakra-donation ability. This time we're going in with a lot less firepower and failure is essentially guaranteed unless we seize every single advantage. That means we need a whole battery of RERs, that means I need to infuse them without being spotted, that means I need Orochimaru to swap my blood so that Hidan doesn't instantly spot me, and I need him to enlarge my chakra reserves so that I have the capacity to infuse the needed runes. This isn't a whim, this isn't me trying to get stronger, this is a carefully-considered risk because, again, we are going to lose unless we seize every single opportunity with both hands and clutch it tight."

Kei and the others all exchanged looks. Unhappy looks.

Hazō spread his hands. "Look, I'm completely willing to take suggestions. If there's another way to do it, tell me."

Mari's lips tightened. Noburi looked away. Kei looked at her feet. Kagome-sensei glowered. The rest of the group said nothing, recognizing that this was a debate between the core team.

"Why don't I come with you to do the infusions?" Noburi asked. "With me there, you wouldn't need the extra chakra for infusion."

"I'd still need the blood swap. The chakra enhancement is a bonus...an important one, but still a bonus."

"He's going to betray you," Mari said, absolute certainty in her voice. "The enhancement will be rigged with something that will auto-kill you in a month or two, once the battle is over and he doesn't need you anymore. Maybe he'll use it as a leash, reset it every week or every month as long as you do as you're told. Maybe he'll figure that it's better to simply let you die right away so that he can remove an unpredictable factor and the world's only other runemaster." She studied him, eyes narrowing slightly. "I'm right, aren't I?"

"He...told me that the chakra coils will require monthly maintenance," Hazō admitted. That minor detail had been left out of the briefing, and not by accident. He hastened to add, "He said that he would do the maintenance free for as long as I like."

"Of course he will. Hazō, this is literally page one of the I&S textbook section on asset recruitment. I bet he was super nice to you during the conversation, wasn't he? Not fawning or sucking up, but he treated you as an equal, showed you respect, made you feel important and essential to an important operation."

"Well...yes."

"Page two."

"Okay, but it's still essential unless you have an alternative."

She made a moue. "Do we know, for a fact, that living under Akatsuki would be bad? After all, they are trying to bring world peace. Heck, they've been doing a good job except for the Asuma incident, and even that can be put down to Hidan being young and crazy. Maybe the others can help him grow out of it, or rein him in."

"The word 'incident' seems a bit mild to describe the murder of a Kage and the looting to the ground of a major village," Kei said, her tone dry as the deserts of Wind.

"Fair," Mari admitted. "Still, am I wrong that it seems to have been Hidan acting out, as opposed to an overall Akatsuki policy? And that maybe the others can rein him in?" She paused for the answer, but hurried to add before Kei could speak. "Yes, I know that the rest of Akatsuki went along with the looting after Hidan killed Asuma. I think that's easily explained as unusual circumstances. I would bet against Hidan being allowed to kill any major political figures in future...granted, I wouldn't give odds on it, but I would bet."

"No, we don't know what it would be like to live under them," Hazō said, seizing control of the conversation again before it could spin off. "That said, we know that they were trying to use nine human sacrifices to permanently transform the entire human race without consent. Does that sound like a group you want to live under?"

"Well...no," Mari admitted. "Still. Hazō, I'm not that worried about you dying during this assault. Yes, it's possible, but you'll be starting well away from the fight and you have plenty of escape options including reverse summoning. What I worry about is you becoming Orochimaru's slave. Think of the harm you could do. To the world, with your runes that apparently have difficulty not becoming city-killers. To the concept of Uplift as a whole. We're just barely starting to get some traction on the idea, but it's a very delicate thread right now. If its founding icon becomes evil and oppressive, there's going to be a backlash. Every pro-civilian initiative will vanish and we'll go back to the same old status quo, except probably more oppressive for a while."

"I guess I'll just have to learn biosealing so that I can undo whatever he does."

Kagome-sensei, who had been silent throughout the debate, facepalmed and walked off.

Mari rubbed her face tiredly.

"There is clearly no point in more discussion," Kei said. "Hazō has made up his mind and this conversation is purely intended to soothe our feelings in an effort to prevent future interpersonal challenges. Better that we acknowledge this fact and move on."

"That's a little harsh, Kei," Hazō said.

"Perhaps. Yet it is also true. You should go to Orochimaru; since this operation is now an unpreventable certainty it is better that it happen sooner rather than later. Mari, would you please accompany me?" She began to turn away.

"Stop," Hazō stated, his voice that of a Clan Lord, no longer that of the cooperative team leader. "Hold your position, Kei. We are not done here."

She hesitated, then turned back and folded her arms. "Fine. What remains?"

On the way back from his meeting with the Snake Sannin, Hazō had prepared mental lists of reassuring arguments and phrases. He considered trotting out a few of them now, then abandoned the idea.

"Kei, Mari, Snowflake. I need your help preparing for my next conversation with Orochimaru. Noburi, I would like you to come with me when I get the surgery. You are a master surgeon and a brilliant medic with expertise in chakra systems. You can watch and maybe spot anything shady that he tries." He paused, studying his brother's expression, and then continued more gently. "It's not an order, Noburi. You can stay here if you want, but I am going to need you to have some contact with Orochimaru in order to produce the substrate."

Noburi sighed. "Fine. I'll go. Might as well have both of us get our brains rewired."

"Thank you," Hazō said, smiling softly at his brother. "That means a lot."


The conversations were over. The preparations were made. Kei, Snowflake, and Mari had all helped him optimize the words he would say to Orochimaru. The words that would hopefully get him the assurances he needed without angering the touchy Sannin into violence.

"If I don't come back—" Hazō began, the words whispered so only the redhead could hear him.

"I know what to do," she said back, the words equally quiet. "The world will..." She chuckled slightly. "I was going to say the world will burn. Instead, it will freeze."

"Thank you." He turned to the rest of the family and waved a hand. "Thank you, everyone. I'll see you soon."

Amidst commiserations and well-wishes, Gōketsu Hazō, Lord of his Clan, first runecrafter of his era, slayer of Dragons, turned and walked off to be voluntarily cut open on the table of a psychotic murderer.

His brother walked at his side, silent and visibly clutching at his serenity.


"No," Orochimaru said as the two walked up, not even waiting for a greeting. "I neither need nor will I accept the boy's interference or observation at my operating table. My shadow clones are the ideal assistants; with an operation this delicate I refuse to take any chance on being distracted."

The Snake Sannin waited in front of a massive tent in the middle of a clearing. An extremely large clearing that had definitely not been here yesterday, based on the unweathered appearance of the broken-off stumps that festooned the area.

"Then we've got a problem," Noburi said. "Because, if you'll pardon the bluntness, you're an untrustworthy snake and my stupid brother needs someone to watch his back while you're cutting him open and installing a kill switch or ancestors know what."

Orochimaru's face, never demonstrative at the best of times, went completely blank. The air trembled around them, almost-visible knives and unheard screams of agony brushing with feather-light touches of potentiality against both Gōketsu.

"What Noburi means," Hazō hurried to add, "is that he's an excellent medic with specific expertise in chakra systems. He and Tsunade collaborated on chakra-system research and she was so impressed that she put him up for special-jōnin status and made him third in command at Leaf General. He's an asset and we should use every asset available to us."

"That is not what I said, or meant," Noburi said, staring Orochimaru directly in the slit-pupiled eyes. "Hazō, you heard what was said at the meeting. He's going to install a kill switch in you unless I'm there watching for it."

A muscle in Orochimaru's jaw tightened, then relaxed. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, reeling his soul back within his body so that the feeling of surgical annihilation fell away.

"First of all, boy, I am the best biosealer in the world and likely the only person alive capable of performing this operation. Tsunade is an expert medic, I grant, but she has no expertise in what I am about to do and I find it vanishingly unlikely that you do. Should I desire to 'install a kill switch' you would not be able to detect me doing it. This renders your presence unnecessary and of solely negative value. Second, please. I have already explained that yes, I loathe people in general and disprefer engaging with them, yet I am intelligent enough to recognize the wisdom in having a reputation for sticking to deals and giving good value. I have spent decades adhering to this code. Harming your brother while he was on my table would destroy that reputation."

"You have to admit, sir, the situation is a bit fraught," Hazō said, spreading his arms in invitation of understanding. "Look at it from our perspective. Yes, you have a reputation for keeping your deals." He actually had no idea if that was true, but it wasn't the time to poke. "On the other hand, you also have a reputation for medical procedures of a...somewhat dark variety? You can understand why we would be nervous here."

"Your cowardice, or that of your mewling advisors, is not my problem. You were the one asking for these operations. I have spent considerable resources preparing for this. Tell your brother to wait here while you enter, strip, and get on the table." He gestured towards the tent.

"Listen—" Noburi began, only to stop when Hazō raised a hand to cut him off.

"Easy," Hazō said quietly. He turned back to the Sannin. "Noburi's presentation is a bit aggressive"—he shot a disapproving look at the man in question—"but he's not entirely wrong. This isn't cowardice, this is an entirely rational analysis of the situation. You and I share a common short-term goal, but I suspect that our values are misaligned in the long run. Yes, I want the bioseals you're offering. We both know that they are essential to our current plans—"

"Then why are you blathering on?" Orochimaru demanded. "You grant that this operation is a foregone conclusion."

"'Foregone' is a strong word. It's essential to our current plan but I'm confident in my and my family's ability to come up with a new plan if necessary." He studied the older man for a moment. "Is it really that unreasonable to talk for a minute or two before we do this?"

Orochimaru took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and said, "Proceed."

"Right. Here's the way I see it: you and I are the only runemasters in the world. Killing me would give you a monopoly on the field, which would be an enormous advantage. I'm also a competitor for access to the rift, with the potential to bring back people who might be willing and able to oppose you. There's a very good argument that killing me is in your best interests. Am I wrong?"

"Should one desire to frame our interrelations negatively, you have certainly offered such a framing. On the other hand, it could also be said that having a runic research partner is of value to me. It allows me to work on one project while setting another to you, as we did with this assault. I created the method to open and manipulate the rift while you created the weapons to capture it. On my own, I could not have completed all of the necessary research in time. As to you bringing back people who might oppose me..." He shrugged one shoulder, face utterly blank. "I find myself confident that I will be able to form satisfactory bargains with you on whom to resurrect and on what schedule." The words were dust-dry and the threat was clear, if quiet.

"As to the misalignment of our long-term goals," Orochimaru continued, "I see little issue. You wish to lift up all the civilians. This will require suppressing the ninja caste, thereby removing the only actual threats to my goals."

Hazō's eyes narrowed. "The last time I proposed working together in the long term, you laughed at the idea."

"And I still consider the idea of long-term collaboration laughable. I find you tolerable in small doses, nephew, which is quite a bit more positive than I feel for the majority of humans. The idea of working with you closely, for long periods?" He gagged slightly. "The very concept is both ludicrous and infuriating. Still, events have progressed rather far since our prior conversation on the topic. I recognize the value you can bring. Your work has been..." His lips tightened, the words clearly almost choking him. "...valuable." He sighed and forced himself to add, "It has been impressive. Working with you in brief stints, from separate facilities...the idea is not entirely revolting."

"Page two, Hazō," Noburi said.

"I know, I know. Look, sir: I appreciate your words. I would also appreciate some assurances. The people of the Seventh Path care quite a bit about oaths and I'm sure that losing your status as Snake Summoner would be very undesirable. Would you be willing to swear an oath, in front of a snake, that you will perform this operation to the best of your ability and in the spirit that you and I have discussed? That you will simply change my blood to shake off Hidan's senses and expand my chakra capacity so that I can do the infusions, and you won't do anything else as part of the operation?"

Orochimaru looked disgusted. "Fine. Summoning Technique: Hebikyōtei." Blood flowed from his fingertip with no visible cause; he slammed his hand to the ground and a moment later a burst of purple smoke had cleared away to reveal a six-foot python.

"Yesss?"

"I require your services as witness to an oath," Orochimaru said.

"I charge for my ssservicess, human. You know my price."

"Indeed. It will be paid."

"Ssstate your termsss."

"I am going to perform a medical operation on that boy," Orochimaru said, gesturing to Hazō. "I will alter his blood so that he will no longer register on Hidan's blood senses. I will install an additional chakra coil to expand his capacity. I will use the largest chakra coil I have available. I will not install a kill switch or..." He shook his head impatiently. "Or whatever other delusions of paranoia he might be entertaining. I will perform ongoing maintenance on the coil according to the terms we have discussed, doing my best to maintain full function and cause no harm in the process. I will terminate this oath only under reasonable limitations such as him betraying me or becoming my enemy after sufficient warning. I am acting solely to help the child achieve our mutual goals and will not act against the spirit of the deal we have made." He looked over to Hazō. "I hope this oath is sufficiently bathed in fussy details to satisfy?"

"We are dealing as men, uncle," Hazō said with a smile. "Cowardice and ambition are incompatible, I need Akatsuki defeated so that I may eventually defeat death, and you seem to be trying to cooperate. Yes, it was satisfactory."

"Fine. Get on the table. You"—he jabbed a finger at Noburi—"wait here. You"—this time the finger jabbed at Hebikyōtei—"into the tent. Sit in the corner, be quiet, and watch that nothing goes wrong."

"One last thing," Hazō said.

"What?" The trace of irritation leaking into Orochimaru's tone was more human emotion than the man normally showed even in the midst of lethal battle.

"Is it possible to keep me conscious during the operation? I would like to leave a shadow clone out here to practice making the runes we're going to need for the assault. They are difficult and every moment of practice is valuable."

"You are absofuckinglutely kidding me," Noburi muttered.

"No, it is not possible," Orochimaru said. "Or, rather, it is possible but your agonized screaming would be distracting and likely to interfere with the procedure." He raised a hand. "And no, do not blather about how the Iron Nerve would allow you to maintain silence and stillness. Your bloodline is already going to complicate things and there is a chance it will be temporarily disabled during and for a short time after the operation. It will not suffer permanent damage, but I am not willing to rely on its ability to keep you still and silent.

"Hazō," Noburi said, the words quiet yet firm as he reached out to grab his brother's arm. "I don't like this. I should be in there. If he's letting the snake in, then it should be fine for me to be there."

"You will wait out here for two reasons," Orochimaru said. "First, because you have no valid expertise to contribute but you clearly have a paranoid distrust of this operation, which would render you likely to interfere or distract me with questions." Orochimaru had not moved, had not altered himself in any way, yet still the light seemed to walk warily around him, leaving his sharp features heightened by shadow.

Noburi swallowed. "And the second reason?" he asked, struggling to keep his voice steady.

"You irritate me. Come, nephew."

The Snake Sannin raised up the flap of the tent, allowing the morning sunlight to stream in and reveal the surgical theater within. Hazō took a deep breath, gave his brother a reassuring smile, and walked inside.


Hazō awoke all at once, with no sense of time lost between when Orochimaru touched a green-glowing hand to his forehead and the current moment.

Orochimaru was sitting on a wooden chair beside the table. The chair was of solid construction, padded and covered in velvet. It was the type of chair that one might find in a room back in Leaf and it looked wildly out of place here in the middle of the wilderness.

Hazō looked around, trying to get his bearings. He was in the tent, Orochimaru was there, the light coming through the tent walls was the dim of twilight's gloaming. The cabinets from which Orochimaru and his shadow clones had taken their instruments, medicines, and bandages were gone, probably back in storage seals.

A scaled head popped up over the edge of the surgical table, looming far too close to Hazō for comfort and startling a yelp out of him.

"Hazō!" Noburi cried from outside. There was a tunk! sound as he stiff-armed the tent flap out of the way and the flap refused to move.

"Ah, yes," Orochimaru said. He reached over and touched a seal on the wall of the tent. The fabric relaxed and Noburi plunged in, his Water Whip in hand.

"It's okay!" Hazō said. "I'm fine, just startled by Hebi...I'm sorry, I don't recall your name."

"Hebikyōtei, human. You are well?"

"I'm fine," Hazō said, struggling not to reach out and push the snake's head away.

"We have discussed this, snake," Orochimaru said. "Give humans space."

"Ah. Yesss." The snake retreated to a more comfortable distance. "How do you feel, human?"

Hazō took a moment to consider. "Itchy? It feels like there are ants under my skin."

"That is your body acclimating to the new blood," Orochimaru said. "It will pass in a few hours. Review your chakra coils."

Hazō turned his attention inwards, exploring his system at a level of detail that he hadn't needed since the Academy.

"It's...there's a...what?"

Orochimaru's thin lips curved slightly. "There is a second chakra coil entwined with your own. It should expand your capacity by half or so; I fear that this was the largest coil I had on hand. It is difficult to source jōnin material out here in the woods, so you will need to settle for that of Oikawa Jin, missing-nin chūnin of Lightning, who was kind enough to volunteer as a donor."

"Anything else?" Noburi demanded, looking at Hazō.

Hazō paused, investigating, and then shook his head. "No, nothing. It feels weird, but it's fine."

Orochimaru stood up. "As we previously discussed, your body and bloodline will attempt to reject the transplant. You will need monthly checkups in order to prevent this; I am, as previously stated, more than happy to provide these as the information acquired will be useful in its own right. In the meantime"—he pulled a scroll from his pocket and passed it to Hazō—"here are your post-surgical instructions, along with the details of the meditation you will need in order to refill the extra chakra coil. I expect you to learn that document and then burn it without sharing details of the meditation."

He turned to the snake. "Now, Hebikyōtei, I assume that the boy's statements leave you satisfied that I have fulfilled my oath?"

The snake swiveled, looking at each of the humans in the room, before raising and lowering its head. "I am sssatissfied, human. I shall report as much."

"Excellent. I will accompany you back to the Seventh Path to register the report." He looked at Hazō, then at Noburi. "I presume the two of you can find your own way out."

The Snake Sannin touched the scales of his summon and the two of them disappeared.

---

Author's Note: The operation is complete!

Orochimaru has implanted a new chakra coil in Hazō. It functions like a battery that can hold up to 217 chakra. He was not prepared to implant multiple coils in one operation.

You can draw freely from both the new coil and the original one, so this acts as a straight-up increase in Hazō's total chakra capacity. (His Chakra Reserves stat is unaffected.)

The new coil does not refill on its own, so you need to spend chakra to refill it when you have downtime. The process is not perfectly efficient, so you need to spend 4 CP in order to put 3 into the new coil. (Fractional points round down to prevent cheese.) In the beginning this will require a 10 minute meditation, but with practice you will eventually be able to do it on the fly, with only a moment's concentration. We will assume that this refilling process happens in the background whenever that wouldn't affect the narrative or interfere with player plans.

XP AWARD: 4

Brevity XP: -1 (496 words, 400-499 means -1 per day)

"GM had fun" XP: 1

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, Dec 18, 2024 at 7:00 AM .