Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

"Sensei?" Hazō asked, knocking quietly. It never did to startle Kagome-sensei, especially not while he was in his bedroom with the door closed. He might be working, in which case startling him had the possibility of causing a seal failure, or he might be asleep, in which case startling him had the possibility of causing a knocking-person-destroying explosion.

"What?" his teacher called. His voice was a little muzzy; good, he'd been napping and not working.

"It's Hazō, sensei. Third apple peppermint solace." Why Kagome-sensei insisted on elaborate passwords to verify identities was behind him. It's not like someone could successfully disguise themself as Hazō at arm's length. "Do you have a minute?"

"One sec."

It was actually more like four seconds before the door opened. Kagome-sensei was still buttoning his shirt up, the top part of his blast harness showing momentarily before long fingers twitched the fasteners into place.

"What's up?"

"Sorry to wake you," Hazō said. "Do you have a few minutes? I wanted to talk about the rift a bit."

"Sure." Kagome-sensei stepped into the hall and carefully locked each of the six locks on his bedroom door before following Hazō to the younger man's office.

Hazō had placed two seats in front of his desk and a variety of finger foods and tea on the desk itself. He settled into one of them and loaded up a plate of nibbles. It was only midmorning and breakfast was two hours gone but he still wanted more fuel.

Kagome-sensei also settled. He took one of the still-steaming tea cups, raised it in thanks to his host, and leaned forward with the mug cradled in long, ink-stained fingers. He waited silently, eyes locked on Hazō's face.

"Opening the rift," Hazō said without prelude. "You had ideas about how to do it. Have they changed at all since you've been learning the Fourth's seals?"

Kagome-sensei shook his head. "No. I've learned the seventh seal. I think it might be enough, and if not then maybe the eighth one would." He grimaced. "I hope. I have no idea what to do with anything after the eighth one. You saw that jumble. It's probably another code. I've been looking through his poetry, trying to find something more than what you found, something that says how to read the notes."

"Any luck?"

Kagome-sensei grimaced and took a sip of his tea.

"Have you thought..." Hazō trailed off, then took a deep, steadying breath. "Have you thought that maybe those seals are a combination of sealing and technique hacking?"

Kagome-sensei gave him an annoyed look. "Of course I've thought that. It's the obvious answer. I'm hoping it's not because if it is then I'm useless. The Fourth was supposedly really good at everything, so it'll probably take me years to get good enough that I can make progress. You can learn it a lot faster, but I'll be sidelined."

Hazō winced. It was true that with the advantages of Shadow Clone training he would be able to learn technique hacking far more quickly than a normal person could. Still. Not only would it be a big detour but it would also destroy Kagome-sensei.

"I'm afraid it probably is," he said, the words dragged out of him. "Technique hacking, I mean. I spoke to Asuma this morning, showed him a couple pages of the notes. He recognized a lot of the terminology, although he couldn't make any sense out of it. He said lot of things like 'utterly deranged' and 'completely impossible'. There were even a couple of uses of 'now that would make a lovely explosion right in your face, before turning your brain to soup' or variations on that theme." He sighed. "Like you said, there's probably more decoding available in the Fourth's other writings."

Kagome-sensei's face twisted up in a combination of anger and sadness. He sipped his tea and said nothing.

"I don't think you're going to be useless," Hazō said. "No technique hacker is going to know the sealing necessary to work on this, just like we don't know the technique hacking. We could find a good hacker and the two of you could collaborate. Teach each other your discipline while learning the other person's, work through the seals as you go."

"You'd do it faster," Kagome-sensei said.

"I don't know about that," Hazō said. "Maybe, maybe not. It would involve teaching as much as studying, and you're a far more experienced teacher than I am. Plus, the method I use for quick studying doesn't help with collaborations."

Kagome-sensei rolled his eyes. "You can say 'Shadow Clone'. I'm not a stinking idiot."

Hazō struggled to keep the surprise off his face. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh please. Jiraiya said that they transfer memories back to the caster when the clone pops and that Leaf's jōnin use it as a study jutsu. You've been doing it for ages. That's how you got so good at sealing so fast, right?"

Hazō swallowed. No, he had gotten so good at sealing by looking at two ridiculous artifacts made by the Sage of Six Paths. They had dragged his brain into the Out and he had brought back impossible and unnatural insights about the nature of the Paint and how to pierce it.

"How long have you known?" he asked.

"You and Akane both make—made—heavy use of Shadow Clone," said Kagome-sensei with a shrug. "There have been plenty of times when you had a clone talking to me or one of the clan while you were off doing something else. She had multiple clones at Noburi's wedding. Are Kei and Noburi and Mari doing it too?"

And if so then why aren't I? Why didn't you push harder for me to get it? remained unspoken.

"Kei and Mari," Hazō admitted after several long seconds. "We aren't sure it's safe for Noburi."

Kagome-sensei nodded and sipped his tea. "That stuff Asuma said about not wanting to make me a bigger kidnap target was nonsense, right? It's just that doesn't trust me enough to give me Shadow Clone."

"It's not a question of distrusting you," Hazō said carefully. "It only gets given to people who have a specific need. I got it because I was good at coming up with weapon designs at a time when Leaf needed that. Akane got it so that she could help you with decoding Jiraiya's work. Kei got it because she's..." He shook his head in amusement and waved a hand. "Because she's everything she is. Mari got it because she's a highly effective jōnin and Asuma wanted to accelerate her training as much as possible."

"Seems to me like it would make sense to give it to all the sealmasters," Kagome-sensei said. "Would be great to have a clone do the infusions while I stayed way back."

"Yeah, I have no idea what's up with that," Hazō said. "And the medics should get it too. There's always more work than medics. I have to assume that it's a compartmentalization thing—the goal is to hold the secret as closely as possible, so they avoid simply handing it out to groups of people and instead only give it to individuals based on specific need."

"Sure."

"Speaking of specific need," Hazō said, not trying to pretend that the segue was in any way smooth, "Naruto's seal moves around on his skin. You once speculated that the bijū seal isn't a seal, it's one of the Fourth's chakra constructs embedded in Naruto's chakra system. Any further thoughts on that?"

"Seems more and more likely," Kagome-sensei said. "The Fourth's seals make chakra constructs. The constructs rotate and they aren't shaped like spheres. Take a flat slice through one and it would look like lines and shapes moving around, many of them disconnected. Embed it in skin or paper and you're looking at a flat slice through the construct. And it's the Fox's chakra system. Naruto is just the skinsack it wears. It worries me that you forget that so often."

Hazō managed not to even open his mouth, since he would only have to close it again. There was no way that he was going to change Kagome-sensei's opinion on this issue, so there was no point in debating it. Even with half a dozen Shadow Clones currently in existence, there weren't enough hours in the day to do everything he needed to do, and some things weren't worth beating your head against.

"Sounds like you're on top of that one," he said instead. "Next issue: Akatsuki is probably researching the rift right now. They'll want to bring Pain back, and he might well want to lock the rift down afterwards. He's certainly not going to want Jiraiya to come back, or anyone else who could actually be a threat to him."

Kagome-sensei nodded. "Sounds right."

Hazō waited expectantly. "And?" he said after a few seconds.

"And what?"

"Do you have any ideas on what we should do about that?"

Kagome-sensei snorted. "I'm not the head of the clan, I'm not the Hokage, I'm not in charge of ANBU or Leaf's military policy, and I'm not an S-rank powerhouse who can make a difference. It's my job to open the rift, it's your job to figure out how to keep it open and keep anyone from getting in our way as we fish people out." He paused, then chuckled. "Actually, it's my job to help open the rift. At this point, the biggest thing I contribute is that I have time to focus on it."

"What?"

Kagome-sensei looked confused. "Did I stutter? I have more time to focus on the problem than you do."

"You made it sound like that's all you have to offer. That's not true. Why would you even think that?"

"Because you're better than I am? Obviously? You don't need me for this, I just have more time."

Hazō's brain went brzzt.

"But...you were the one who figured it all out. That the rift was a storage effect, how we could reinflate it, that Minato's seals could serve as the stopper we needed, that was all you."

"Sure, but that's just because you weren't really focused on it. You would have gotten it on your own." He thought about that for a minute. "Hm. Actually, maybe I do contribute something else: I care more than you do about resurrecting Jiraiya-stinker and Akane and Yūdai and everyone else." He thought for another moment, then nodded. "Yeah, I think that's true. Which is good. I can do most of the work and only have to rope you in when I get stuck, but at least it will get done."

"Sensei..." Hazō struggled to restrain the wrath that was suddenly bubbling up. How dare Kagome claim that Hazō didn't care? He took a deep, careful breath and let it out slowly. "Sensei, I care very much and I don't like the fact that you think I don't. It's a hurtful thing to say."

"Why?"

"Because," Hazō said, grinding his teeth, "you are claiming that I don't care about the people that I love. That means you are claiming that I don't love them. I love them very much and saying that I don't is incredibly rude."

Kagome-sensei shrugged. "I mean...okay? If you say so. You don't make rescuing them your top priority, that's all. That's fine—you're having to deal with these Dragon things, and keeping the clan together, and getting a bunch of stinking animal people to do politics and stuff. Those things are important to you and that's reasonable. But when you do manage to find time for sealing you're working on my directional explosives and rocket boots and all that. Not on the rift."

"I'm working on the Minato seals! You said that's what we needed in order to open the rift!"

"That's what I think we need, sure. Doesn't mean I'm right. I'm working on it because it's the best idea I have, but you could be exploring a dozen different approaches, coming up with new ideas that might be better than mine." He shrugged. "It's okay. The way I figure it, I'm going to do all the groundwork, you'll make the big final breakthrough that we need, and then you'll mobilize the clan and other stuff so we can do the exploration to find our people. I couldn't do that part and opening the rift is no good without it."

Deep breaths. Inhale peace and calm, exhale stress and rage. Inhale peace and calm, exhale stress and rage. Inhale peace and calm, exhale stress and rage.

"Sensei, you make it sound like I'm going to steal all the credit."

Kagome-sensei frowned. "Who cares? I'm already going down in history as the guy who taught Gōketsu Hazō. Also, I'll probably get a mention for having one of the best apprentice-survival rates in history." Suddenly, he looked sad. "Stupid stinking Yūdai," he muttered. "Ruining my perfect record like that. Selfish." He cleared his throat, then glared at Hazō and shook a finger. "We're getting him back too, you hear me?! We're getting him back and then I'm going to bonk him over and over with a wet fish and make him recite the Safety Principles until his tongue dries out and make him do the dances for three days straight and then he's never ever ever going to die of a sealing failure again."

Hazō smiled, the expression caught between amusement and sadness. "I never had the chance to get to know him as well as I would have liked."

"Yah. He was a good kid."

"I think—"

He broke off at the sound of running feet in the corridor. He and Kagome-sensei both came to their feet, instinctively spreading out slightly so they couldn't both be caught with a single targeted attack.

"My Lord!" shouted the running person from outside the room. "My Lord!" He skidded to a stop, bouncing off the doorjamb and into the room; Gōketsu something, one of the Academy students and oh crap, Hazō couldn't remember his name! Was he still a student or had he graduated? "My Lord, you must come to the Tower right away!"

"What's going on?" Hazō demanded, already moving. Kagome-sensei fell in behind him, tucking his rings away as he followed.

The kid told him, and Hazō broke into a dead sprint, shouting over his shoulder for his teacher to stay behind and alert Mari.


"Hazō! My adorable little acolyte! How are you?" asked one of the most prolific murderers and biggest sadists in history. "It's been so long. You never visit, you never write...it's almost like you don't want to see me or be involved with Lord Jashin anymore!"

Hazō paused in the doorway, looking around the room slowly before responding.

The Hokage's conference room was a comfortable space for a reasonably-sized group to gather for discussion. One of the credenzas had a stone countertop with a depression set into it that was kept filled with coals in order to keep a teapot warm. The long table was loaded down with treats and dishes of various kinds and the two visitors had helped themselves generously. The one with the glowing green eyes had a well-laden plate of cookies, honey cakes, and roasted nuts. The man who had greeted Hazō had simply snagged the entire serving platter of candied dango for himself; he had his boots up on the table, ankles crossed, and was balancing his chair on the back two legs. The platter was held steady on his chest with one hand while the other hand popped sweet treats into his mouth. His three-bladed scythe leaned on the table next to him.

The Hokage, ruler of what was probably still the most powerful nation in the world, sat quietly at the head of the table, sipping his tea and keeping a silent watch over the two murderous demigods who had invaded his home.

"Lord Hokage, Hidan," Hazō said, bowing deeply. He looked to the third man. "Sir, I apologize for not knowing your name. I am Gōketsu Hazō, as you likely knew."

"Kakuzu."

"It is an honor to meet you, sir."

The green-eyed man made no response, merely stared into Hazō's soul with those death-green eyes. They weren't green the way Mari's were (sometimes) green, the way a person's were green. The entire iris was a flat glowing green and the 'whites' of the eyes were a dull red, more like dried blood than anything else.

"These fine gentlemen arrived in Leaf two hours ago," Asuma said, a small and seemingly unbothered smile on his face. "They simply strolled in the Sunset Gate and wandered through the streets for a bit until an ANBU caught up to them and invited them to the Tower."

"Hey!" Hidan said, sounding offended. "We didn't wander! We were being touristy and shit."

"Shut up, you idiot," Kakuzu grunted. "I followed you around this town for an hour and a half, and we'd still be out there if I hadn't called for an ANBU."

"His exact words," Asuma said, still smiling brightly, "were, 'Hey! Come arrest us before I start killing everyone!'"

"Ah," Hazō said.

"Please, Hazō, sit," Asuma said, a faint edge in his voice that said Hazō had better damn well sit because Asuma needed someone to verbally watch his back before his head exploded from the insanity of this conversation that was undoubtedly Hazō's fault.

Or maybe it didn't mean that and Hazō was simply having unjustified negative thoughts? Mari had warned him about those. Wait, no, not the time for thinking about that. Time to sit and verbally watch Asuma's back.

He sat.

"You may recall that I said I would contact Akatsuki in hopes that Hidan could help determine what happened to Akane," Asuma said brightly. "Apparently the message was received."

Hidan threw a fistful of dango into a mouth that already contained two of them, making his cheeks puff out like a chipmunk's. "Fo, Ha'o, wha' ca'n we 'oo f' you?"

---

XP AWARD: 1 The update was less than an hour.

Brevity XP: 1

"GM had fun" XP: 1

• +1 for scene: Kagome

It is now about 1pm.

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, Jun 21, 2022 at 7:00 AM .