Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

Sir Stompy · Nov 4, 2021

RandomOTP said:
Ami would agree. It would hurt her, and she would feel guilty. Ami would be mad at herself for the emotional vulnerability, she would feel frustration at feeling the guilt, and she would feel bitterly, bitterly vindicated ("see? This is what emotional vulnerability does. Each time. Every time.").

But Ami would help.

Are you sure Ami wouldn't help by doing something stupid and self-destructive? Remember when she tried to unilaterally sever ties with Kei?

Inferno Vulpix said:
Many of the specifics could very easily have been a casualty of the Collapse and how it took out the Tower's stockpile of information, its backup stockpile, and its backup backup stockpile.

The point is that there should be something. Not literally no information for Hazou to go off of. This was an important event. Even if it's basically gossip, Asuma should have a better idea of what Oro can do that Hazou does.

Veedrac · Nov 4, 2021

Velorien said:
"We have entered the Fourth Shinobi World War."

Oh no this is when the aliens show up.

MrRobot · Nov 4, 2021

Ok here is the agrrement, we stall oro by let him examine us on konoha hospital under the watch of someone vetoed by the hokage, we speed research the resurrection seal like as for our life depends on it, and bring Big J and grandpa the 3rd back, then oro and naruto is their problem.

Twinnstars · Nov 4, 2021

@Velorien @eaglejarl can we leave input for war related things other than the Isan mission? Personally I'd like to have an envoy/genin team sent to Sand to specifically ask for a sound amplifying Wond jutsu

Veedrac · Nov 4, 2021

It's not really sure that it's Kei at risk here long-term; Oro can always kidnap another Mori instead.

(Mentioning because people aren't discussing this, not because I'm suggesting it, which I'm not.)

Eisenhelm · Nov 4, 2021

Velorien said:
"Four hours ago," he said in a controlled voice, "The Village Hidden in the Clouds invaded the Fire Country."

a yes, i was feeling a huge lack of conflict in this quest recently, so glad you upped that a notch.

RandomOTP · Nov 4, 2021

faflec said:
Yes, we've seen Cloud and Rock show up illegally already.

Damn illegal aliens!

NB: This is a joke, please don't ban me.

Why would we ban you? You're just saying that they're so fine, they're out of this world. And that, frankly, it should be illegal to look that good

Velorien said:
Note that Ami's about to be sent to Mist, so you'd have to move fast.

"Same day" fast, or "same hour" fast?
(Also, I know you're a grown-ass adult eldritch being with a predilection for emotional torment and everything... But isn't it super late where you live?)

Sir Stompy said:
Are you sure Ami wouldn't help by doing something stupid and self-destructive? Remember when she tried to unilaterally sever ties with Kei?

Doing that for Hazou would require that Ami acknowledge and come to terms with her emotional bonds to Hazou. And that's scary, time consuming, and not something she'd be likely to do in the time span given.

Would she do it for Kei? Well, perhaps, but there are other Mori. And Hazou and "the Ami" have a pact based around Kei's survival. Why would Ami go through all the emotional turmoil of accepting her bonds with Hazou when she could just make-good on her deal with Hazou?

Sir Stompy · Nov 4, 2021

RandomOTP said:
Doing that for Hazou would require that Ami acknowledge and come to terms with her emotional bonds to Hazou. And that's scary, time consuming, and not something she'd be likely to do in the time span given.

Would she do it for Kei? Well, perhaps, but there are other Mori. And Hazou and "the Ami" have a pact based around Kei's survival. Why would Ami go through all the emotional turmoil of accepting her bonds with Hazou when she could just make-good on her deal with Hazou?

I don't think she needs to fully process to have a strong emotional reaction to the notion of death by Oro for two of the people she likes most. I'm curious as to if she'll be able to handle that emotion in a constructive way.

Lysbeth Succubus · Nov 4, 2021

Sir Stompy said:
Leaf kept no records of the prior incident? The Third never said anything to his eldest son? Jiraiya never passed anything along while he was vetting Oro's return? There are other avenues for that information to make it to Asuma.

If I were Hokage that's the kind of thing I'd classify under "plutonium ultraviolet d͡za waɺɯ̟ᵝdo̟ アキヒカ" or something similarly over the top.

(By the way if you get all references in that code you deserve a cookie.)

RandomOTP · Nov 4, 2021

Sir Stompy said:
I don't think she needs to fully process to have a strong emotional reaction to the notion of death by Oro for two of the people she likes most. I'm curious as to if she'll be able to handle that emotion in a constructive way.

So even if Ami doesn't handle it well, she'd be able to compartmentalize for the moment. After all, Ami was able to escape from Orochimaru's personal attention before, and escape Rin's demand for execution regarding her help getting Leaf the Condor Scroll. Ami can do this, especially since she wouldn't be working in isolation.

She'd be with Mari (who is her sensei), Shikamaru, Kei, Naruto, Hazou, Snowflake, Ino, and whomever else we can drag to the planning table. Ami wouldn't be working in a vacuum, she'd be able to bounce ideas off of others and refine others' plans. That's a lot less pressure than "we're doomed and you're our only hope."

Velorien · Nov 4, 2021

Twinnstars said:
@Velorien @eaglejarl can we leave input for war related things other than the Isan mission? Personally I'd like to have an envoy/genin team sent to Sand to specifically ask for a sound amplifying Wond jutsu

I don't see why not.

RandomOTP said:
"Same day" fast, or "same hour" fast?
(Also, I know you're a grown-ass adult eldritch being with a predilection for emotional torment and everything... But isn't it super late where you live?)

"Same day" fast.

It's super late, but on Writing Day I'm prepared to stay up late to finish writing and/or unable to resist the temptation of staying up late to follow the reactions. Thank you for your concern.

Kiba · Nov 4, 2021

Rock: *blindsided* How the hell did our scroll get stolen?
Cloud: *blindsided* How the hell Tea have so many ninja?

Well, hopefully.

MrRobot · Nov 4, 2021

Kiba said:
Rock: *blindsided* How the hell did our scroll get stolen?
Cloud: *blindsided* How the hell Tea have so many ninja?

Same answer: ~~Madara 2~~ Goketsu Hazou

Kiba · Nov 4, 2021

MrRobot said:
Same answer: ~~Madara 2~~ Goketsu Hazou

Naruto hivemind: I knew it! Hazo's obviously Madara!

Shrooms · Nov 4, 2021

I throw my hat in the ring! No time to waste on optimizing a plan/several plans, feel free to rip off etc.

[X] Going the Distance
Word Count: 397

Clan Meeting
- Have Akane send Shadow Clones to retrieve Ino, Shikamaru, and Ami, if they are available.
- Orochimaru is not sated. Asuma is powerless. If Orochimaru leaves Leaf, Leaf is lost. If he stays and kills Kei and Hazou, Leaf is lost to civil war. If we squeeze Orochimaru too hard, he leaves. If we do nothing, we die.
  - One option remains. Hazou will volunteer for examination, with conditions.
    - He must live with injuries lasting no longer than a few weeks.
    - The examination will occur in Leaf Hospital.
    - He will do everything in his power to have Tsunade and Naruto attend the procedure.
      - Tsunade/Naruto commit to destroying our body immediately if we die, so no data can be gathered.
    - Orochimaru shares his findings with Hazou, but no other clans.
  - In return, Hazou will:
    - Personally advocate the same examination to other clans. The data would be useful for them as well as Orochimaru, and gets him more volunteers.
    - Share live data to Orochimaru as he is examined, and explain anything he feels afterward in detail for more data.
  - Write a will. Dog Scroll goes to Akane, Clan Head to Noburi, all seal notes and ideas to Kagome. Thank everyone for everything.
  - One final thing: Ami, Kei, Shikamaru, Yuno. You know things others don't. Whatever you can tell Hazou to persuade Orochimaru that Snowflake is dead end research, please. Lie to Hazou if you have to. Hazou has to say something.
Naruto
- Explain Orochimaru crisis, and Hazou's plan. If Naruto shows support by being present for the procedure, Hazou's chances of survival increase.
- Whether Naruto helps or not, Hazou is sorry he screwed things up between them. They should have been brothers.
- You'll be a great Hokage someday soon. When that happens, please don't neglect the Dragon Crisis. And remember, the Will of Fire can emerge from those of all nations.
Tsunade
- Explain Orochimaru crisis, and Hazou's plan. If Tsunade oversaw the procedure, her medical mastery could keep Hazou alive.
- Hazou survived this long from clever tricks, from loyal-to-the-grave comrades, and from the kindness of strangers like Jiraiya. But in the end, he still wouldn't have made it this far without luck. When all your options die, sometimes there's no choice left but to gamble it all. A chance is all he has left, now.
- Name a price to attend the procedure. Hazou is probably dead if she doesn't anyways.

Eisenhelm · Nov 4, 2021

what if we just explain why Keiko in particular can do what she does, just say it is based around the thinker's mind bloodline. Orochimaru has no way of replicating it no matter what he does. he will lose interest as he just wants it for himself.
"hey oro, bloodlines do not carry over whit the shadow clone, you can know i am not lying because you are fucking terrifying"
"oh darn, i guess Shadow clone alternative minds are beyond my reach"

Shrooms · Nov 4, 2021

Eisenhelm said:
what if we just explain why Keiko in particular can do what she does, just say it is based around the thinker's mind bloodline. Orochimaru has no way of replicating it no matter what he does. he will lose interest as he just wants it for himself.

doesn't work, he's already interesting in dissecting the Thinker clans (remember his first meeting with Ami?)
We need to convince him it's a legitimate danger to him via cognitohazards or eldritch horror, or so inconvenient as not to be worth it

Sir Stompy · Nov 4, 2021

Shrooms said:
One option remains. Hazou will volunteer for live vivisection, with conditions.

He must live with no permanent injury.

He will do everything in his power to have Tsunade and Naruto attend the procedure.

Orochimaru shares his findings with Hazou, but no other clans.

I think we should refer to this as an examination rather than a vivisection. Just to set expectations. I think we should stipulate that the recovery from the surgery should take no more than a few weeks (mechanically a Moderate Consequence).

We also should 100% not be conscious for the examination, that's insanity. Have Noburi anesthetize Hazou. There's no possible benefit to having Hazou be awake. Like..... why?

Shrooms said:
In return, Hazou will:

Personally advocate the same procedure to other clans. The data would be useful for them as well as Orochimaru, and gets him more volunteers.

Share live data to Orochimaru as he is vivisected, and explain anything he feels afterward in detail for more data.

Orochimaru is getting a lot out of this, why should we offer him even more? I don't think we should advocate for this.

RandomOTP · Nov 4, 2021

Eisenhelm said:
Orochimaru has no way of replicating it no matter what he does.

Orochimaru is an old S-rank biosealer, with all that entails. We can't fathom what he is and is not capable of.

Shrooms · Nov 4, 2021

Sir Stompy said:
I think we should refer to this as an examination rather than a vivisection

Good point

Sir Stompy said:
I think we should stipulate that the recovery from the surgery should take no more than a few weeks (mechanically a Moderate Consequence).

Also good point

Sir Stompy said:
We also should 100% not be conscious for the examination, that's insanity. Have Noburi anesthetize Hazou. There's no possible benefit to having Hazou be awake. Like..... why?

Hazou can share experience. How much genuine feedback do you think Orochimaru gets from procedure? I'm willing to be talked out of this but I still lean towards it being better than anasthesia

Sir Stompy said:
why should we offer him even more

We need him to get more out of our survival than out of our death. You yourself have said before "what if he just decides to kill us after all" haven't you?

Eisenhelm · Nov 4, 2021

Shrooms said:
doesn't work, he's already interesting in dissecting the Thinker clans (remember his first meeting with Ami?)
We need to convince him it's a legitimate danger to him via cognitohazards or eldritch horror, or so inconvenient as not to be worth it

well, just let him, he is going to Cloud, if we tell him that thinker clans are the key he could capture one of cloud's.

faflec · Nov 4, 2021

The weird thought occurs to me that we could try convincing Orochimaru that he could get cognitively-independent Shadow Clones by becoming a multiplicity.

Shrooms · Nov 4, 2021

faflec said:
The weird thought occurs to me that we could try convincing Orochimaru that he could get cognitively-independent Shadow Clones by becoming a multiplicity.

Or he could just like... do drugs?? Genjutsu? Fucking pretend to be a second person? I feel like the problem/breakthrough is not as hard as he is making it out to be.

Sir Stompy · Nov 4, 2021

Shrooms said:
Hazou can share experience. How much genuine feedback do you think Orochimaru gets from procedure? I'm willing to be talked out of this but I still lean towards it being better than anasthesia

This will almost certainly be screaming and fainting. The thrashing will make it more difficult for Oro to make clean incisions. I have seen quite a few surgeries (on cats and dogs admittedly) and being awake through it is not pleasant. Those are minor surgeries compared to what Hazou will endure. Many vets will do a neuter on the kitchen table with a scalpel and towel.

Before widespread anesthesia there was an extreme focus on speed in surgical procedures because shock would literally kill the patients. Read about Robert Liston, the only surgeon who ever managed a 300% fatality rate for a single procedure.

Shrooms said:
We need him to get more out of our survival than out of our death. You yourself have said before "what if he just decides to kill us after all" haven't you?

This is accomplished by Tsunade and Naruto looming over him. If we can't get them to stand guard we should not go ahead with this idea.

Cariyaga · Nov 4, 2021

Sir Stompy said:
This will almost certainly be screaming and fainting. The thrashing will make it more difficult for Oro to make clean incisions. I have seen quite a few surgeries (on cats and dogs admittedly) and being awake through it is not pleasant. Those are minor surgeries compared to what Hazou will endure. Many vets will do a neuter on the kitchen table with a scalpel and towel.

Before widespread anesthesia there was an extreme focus on speed in surgical procedures because shock would literally kill the patients. Read about Robert Liston, the only surgeon who ever managed a 300% fatality rate for a single procedure.

This is accomplished by Tsunade and Naruto looming over him. If we can't get them to stand guard we should not go ahead with this idea.

I would be extraordinarily surprised if Tsunade was incapable of numbing pain.

Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

In doubt there's always the Sun!

gran dutch of douchery

In doubt there's always the Sun!

gran dutch of douchery

gran dutch of douchery

Handsome Gentleperson