Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
Dammit, if world peace breaks out after this it's really going to gut explosives prices and mission pay rates. That's a big chunk of Goketsu competitive advantage gone.
On the plus side, now that they're open knowledge, we should be able to sell the pangolins skywalkers. How much stolen blood gold would they be willing to fork over for something like that?
On the plus side, now that they're open knowledge, we should be able to sell the pangolins skywalkers. How much stolen blood gold would they be willing to fork over for something like that?
- Location
- NY
What about two seals on one piece of paper, then cutting the piece of paper in half so that you now have two pieces of paper, each with one seal?
- Location
- Yes.
As in, Hazou should specify that he's bringing his team with him.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Nah, there will surely be some cold war aspects remaining. If IRL is any indicator, we will be running out of stock.
Will this suffice?
- Location
- Somewhere over the rainbow
it is 10 11 pm, my sides are bloody, i have a headache that is bound to grow worse and a backlog that grows worse every time i look away
it's time
[X] Action Plan: Being (Acting) Clan Head Means Never Stopping To Ask Permission
Word count: 398
it's time
[X] Action Plan: Being (Acting) Clan Head Means Never Stopping To Ask Permission
Word count: 398
- Ask Jiraiya to help us scribe his skywalker seals.
- Scribe skywalkers until the strike force leaves; give them to Jiraiya then.
- Offer to keep scribing on the road and send by Pangolin.
- Mom
- Find, hug, and thank her.
- KI advice helped sooner than desired
- Ask advice, heir-trained to acting head
- Next while will be tough; we'll keep in touch. It's gonna be OK.
- Find, hug, and thank her.
- Homecoming
- Socialize with Leaf-nin.
- Not just clan heirs; escort and watchers too.
- Request Shikamaru get us mission records and reviews for genin; clanless, preferably
- Stay wary; use skytowers if time allows for production and setup.
- Socialize with Leaf-nin.
- Homecoming
- Hug Mari, greet Kagome, greet anyone else waiting for us.
- We missed 'em
- Update them on what happened; ask what happened in the meanwhile.
- Prepare for likelihood of FUBAR.
- If under situations cause extreme emotional distress, excise plan components as necessary.
- Prepare for likelihood of FUBAR.
- Hug Mari, greet Kagome, greet anyone else waiting for us.
- Leaf
- Synch everyone up; modify plan per suggestions
- Aim: Expand reputation, deal with Merchant Council, cultivate clanless ninja, play politics with clans
- Delegate:
- Kagome
- Please use Calligraphy skills to send fancy invitations, if we need them?
- Tutor more promising clanless Academy students?
- Only tutor students you want to tutor, of course
- Ask Honoka's parents for help
- Help restock?
- Keiko
- Work out clan paperwork, finances?
- May need merchant "connections" assistance
- Noburi
- May need to take point with other clans, will carry full authority
- May need your mednin abilities as favor; at your say-so.
- Priority: figure out Merchant Council; who's who, and who we need to please or grease
- Mari
- Assist where able
- Kagome
- Clans
- Arrange individual meetings with all clan heads, except Hyuga.
- If clans are not willing to present clan heads, present Noburi as full diplomat or no deal.
- Intent of excluding Hyuga: power play, make them acknowledge right to exist independently.
- Meetings:
- Bring appropriate gifts.
- Express desire to work together for mutual benefit.
- Identify potential areas for cooperation
- Ask where they would like us to assist them.
- Maintain calm politeness
- If previous grievances arise, request forgiveness.
- Do not commit to binding agreements.
- Arrange individual meetings with all clan heads, except Hyuga.
- Clanless
- Find clanless ninja with good mission records and reviews.
- Pay identified clanless ninja personal visits
- Goketsu has noticed their excellence
- Ask what we can do for them; we'd like to build an enduring relationship.
- Offer to arrange better missions or healing/tutoring for relatives
- Merchants
- Put in orders with:
- Clothiers
- Sandalmakers
- Papermakers
- Expand "empire" like earlier Mist efforts
- Especially sponsor playwrights
- Put in orders with:
- Restock seals
- Location
- The state of Paranoia
These seem like really good ideas.
Somewhat relatedly, if Jiraiya survives the battle the QMs can make effectively infinite interlude ideas out of all the bedtime stories Jiraiya promised to tell about his team.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Why are your sides bloody? Are you okay?
- Location
- Somewhere over the rainbow
It's honestly not that bad; usually when I don't capitalize anything it's supposed to be a dry humor. In this case, it's because I took a pretty nasty fall and got two road-rashes; it's otherwise fine, but a absolute bitch because it's just a constant pain and it won't go away for the next couple of days or so.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
[X] Action Plan: Being (Acting) Clan Head Means Never Stopping To Ask Permission
This is interesting, and it is a few hours before the vote closes, and so I shall vote for it.
I express interest in doing something similar regardless of if my plan wins or not. The large obstacle in the way IMO here is wordcount spent on wrap-up and catching up. We sort of have to do that, but OTOH we can't do much in Leaf until we know whats up and we have confirmation that [REDACTED] is [REDACTED].
I also appreciate the initiative in acquiring minions (a word which as we all know is really slang for "jolly good friends!" and need not have any worrying implications) on the clanless nin front.
You mean introducing an entirely new failure mode to just writing two seals on different pieces of paper to begin with?
It would presumably be no different outside of the increased failure probability. -but, again, why?
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
@huhYeahGoodPoint I'm not really the biggest fan of the Hyuuga power play thing. Once Hiashi's back we can do something that shows we're more willing to deal with Hinata-without-Hiashi-sinfluence than otherwise, but I think we should show ourselves to engage earnestly with her clan.
I've proposed several plans, and it seems some of them have impacted winning suggestions. I'm willing to sit back and let the hordes decide at this point.
FWIW, All is Chaos is still my best baby.
In addition, @faflec is now my favourite person on the thread.
ALL HAIL FAFLEC, KEEPER OF TIDBITS, PURVEYOR OF FTFYs, FOREVER THE GUARDIAN AGAINST SELF-CONTRADICTORS!.
FWIW, All is Chaos is still my best baby.
In addition, @faflec is now my favourite person on the thread.
ALL HAIL FAFLEC, KEEPER OF TIDBITS, PURVEYOR OF FTFYs, FOREVER THE GUARDIAN AGAINST SELF-CONTRADICTORS!.
- Location
- USA
@huhYeahGoodPoint
@MMKII I tried to lower the word count on your plan. I only added one thing which is that we should be making Goo Bombs for Jiraiya, since that was specifically stated in the previous chapter as something Jiraiya wanted us to make for him.
Everything struck out is things that I think are marginally useful, but not necessary for the plan. I leave it up to you whether it's worth keeping. Everything else is just slightly reworded to get the word count down.
yeets: 340 (288 without strike-through lines)
Contingencies
Loose Ends
- Offer to arrange better missions or healing/tutoring for relative
@MMKII I tried to lower the word count on your plan. I only added one thing which is that we should be making Goo Bombs for Jiraiya, since that was specifically stated in the previous chapter as something Jiraiya wanted us to make for him.
Everything struck out is things that I think are marginally useful, but not necessary for the plan. I leave it up to you whether it's worth keeping. Everything else is just slightly reworded to get the word count down.
yeets: 340 (288 without strike-through lines)
Contingencies
- Keiko: Routinely check in with Pangolin-Toad embassy
every few hoursto see if there's any news. - Check plans beforehand with Keiko/Noburi as appropriate.
Loose Ends
- Make seals(Banshee Slayers, Goo bombs and Earbusters) for the next 6 hours, hand them to Jiraiya before leaving.
- Pack some storage seals filled with food as well.
- Say bye to Mom, thank for killing intent advice.
- *gallows humor* So, any advice on being a clan heir?
The next few months are probably going to be tough.Find a way to keep in touch. Tell her Everything is going to be ok.
- On the way back
- Socialize with Leaf ninja.
- Be wary! You are perfect targets for an ambush.
- Homecoming
- Update Mari and Kagome on everything.
- Hug Mari. It's good to see her!
- We missed you guys.
- What's happened while we were away?
- Steel yourself for the possibility everything has gone to heck and you now need to fix everything.
- In case of super traumatic news, make sure no one leaves the compound to do anything stupid.
- This includes yourself.
- In case of super traumatic news, make sure no one leaves the compound to do anything stupid.
- Update Mari and Kagome on everything.
- Delegate the following tasks to clan mates.
Make it clear that the next week is going to be an all-hands-on-deck situation. Everyone needs to be on the same page.Discuss any concerns, alter things as necessary and thank them sincerely afterwards.- Kagome:
- ask to use Calligraphy to make fancy invitations to send to people as appropriate?
- Keiko:
- Investigate the clan's financial situation?
- Ask to use her merchant "fans" to make inroads with the Merchant Council.
- Noburi
- Work your magic on Keiko's "Fan Club" to obtain identities of prominent Merchant Council members. Get as much actionable info as possible.
- Mari:
- If you're up to it, help where you can.
- Kagome:
- Schedule the following lunches/dinners later this week for the siblings to attend
- Hinata/Neji/Hanabi
They're important members of a prominent clan, so socialization with them is important.
- ISC
Ditto the above.
- Shino and Kiba
Ditto the above. Ish.
- Misc.
- Block off several time slots later in the week for extra lunch/dinner meetings.
- Hinata/Neji/Hanabi
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- Location
- Somewhere over the rainbow
Okay, so I'm quoting you but I'm sort of making my point (come to think of it, I should tag @Roomba too because this is his thing too) that I don't think the relations between the Hyuga and the Goketsu can be remotely reconciled right now.
The big problem is that while Hinata is the nominal head, she is a representative for the Hyuga group as a whole, and I think that she is much closer aligned to her clan than she is towards our interests; I fully expect her or whoever we inevitably meet with (which is a power play in and of itself) to essentially toe the party line instead of challenging the Hyuga's party line and making it fit better with our interests.
Now, why am I so set against the Hyuga party line, you might reasonably ask.
It's because I fundamentally think that our conversation will pretty much go like this:
GOKETSU: What can we do for you?
HYUGA: Perish.
They won't say that outright; if nothing else, we're at least cannon fodder and that means we can take a hit for one of the Hyuga. Make no mistake, however: the Hyuga would very much prefer if Clan Goketsu were to dissolve, submit, or perish. From their perspective, nothing else we can offer them is worth it; they hold themselves as the preeminent clan in Konoha, most noble and powerful, with more business connections than any other. What, then, can the Clan Goketsu offer, except to get out of the way of the Hyuga's ascent? More business? They can get that if we're gone and a Hyuga is Hokage. Our potential ability to help them? Please. The aid of ISC? They'll get that if we're gone anyway.
Moreover, Hinata, or Hanabi, or Neji all know this; if Hinata takes point instead of someone who has either pledged apprenticeship to one of us (Hanabi) or lives in the doghouse (Neji), then that's pretty much going to be her stance, albeit with a softer tone; perhaps something something don't rock the boat something something take it slow and follow our guidance something something. After all, we are in her path, and we cannot offer her anything worth the cost of our independence.
- Location
- Academy City
- Pronouns
- They
[X] Action Plan: Being (Acting) Clan Head Means Never Stopping To Ask Permission
- Location
- NY
For SCIENCE!
- Location
- Somewhere over the rainbow
We do have the power: we're Clan Goketsu, and that means we have the Prestige of a clan, at least to the guys running the mission desk.
Besides, if that fails we can always go back to Mom's strat: bribe the mission desk employees.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
I think you're underestimating how unaligned our end goals need to be for us to be able to work together.
In general, I think we can make a pretty strong case for "We can be extremely useful still as an entity. Even moreso if we retain our autonomy. No need for us to be at odds."
Thanks so much!
I'm wary of doing those edits on my phone, so I'll see what I can do tomorrow.
I'm not really comfortable throwing our name around like a baseball bat to the face. We'll have to be more surgical than that just on general principle for quite a while.
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- Location
- USA
I think before we try using something as a barganing chip, we should be 100% sure we can actually deliver on it. Depending on how the upcoming battle goes, we don't know if the Goketsu clan name will mean anything significant.
Bribing may or may not work... but I propose that we shouldn't offer it unless we know it definitely will. Something that worked in Mist might be considered treason in Leaf for all we know. (edit: I dont' think it would be considered treason, but maybe they'd be offended at the idea. We don't know Leaf policies enough to be sure).
I think in general it's a bad idea to bargain with goods you don't have. Especially when starting new relationships and building trust.
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