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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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I support these plans
[-] Training Hazou: Assassin Update 7.4
[X] Training Hazou: Advanced Peeping
[X] Training Keiko: I'm NOT a Stalker!
[X] Training Noburi: Vigorous Sucking
[X] Training Akane: Only Thing You Need Is Punch
 
@OliWhail Perhaps make note of what we simply want information on OOC (Pangolin cultural exchange, for instance, is not truly necessary to see), should the QMs not wish to write about it?
 
[X] Training Akane: Lie to Me. Please. Seriously.
[X] Training Akane: Only Thing You Need Is Punch
[X] Training Noburi: Vigorous Sucking
[X] Training Keiko: I'm NOT a Stalker!
[X] Training Hazou: Advanced Peeping

Man, Keiko's really growing to be a juggernaut in combat. I suppose it's convenient that she doesn't have any super expensive skills, though.
 
[X] Action Plan: Every Day is Leg(work) Day
[X] Training Akane: Only Thing You Need Is Punch
[X] Training Hazou: Assassin Update 7.4
[X] Training Keiko: Artillery, Mobilized
[X] Action Plan: Lore Update
[-] Meanie
 
Good(?) news! Voting is extended.

I'm driving up to Boston for a funeral tomorrow, and it turns out that we're leaving earlier than I expected. I'll be on the road when voting closes and I'm not sure exactly when I'll be free and have wifi. That's probably just as well, given that the discussion was a little slow to get started.

I'll leave voting open until 6pm New York time -- I should have a chance to close it out by then.
 
eaglejarl said:
Good(?) news! Voting is extended.

I'm driving up to Boston for a funeral tomorrow, and it turns out that we're leaving earlier than I expected. I'll be on the road when voting closes and I'm not sure exactly when I'll be free and have wifi. That's probably just as well, given that the discussion was a little slow to get started.

I'll leave voting open until 6pm New York time -- I should have a chance to close it out by then.
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Sorry to hear that. Hope you're well by the end of it. Funerals are rough no matter what.
 
Cariyaga said:
Sorry to hear that. Hope you're well by the end of it. Funerals are rough no matter what.
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Thanks. It's my great aunt; she was a lovely woman and will be missed, but she died painlessly and knew it was coming, so she got to say goodbye.

On the plus side, I'm going to see a ton of family members that I rarely get to see, so at least some good is coming of it.

Still, somebody needs to get on that "not dying" thing. I'll find other reasons to get together with extended family.
 
eaglejarl said:
Thanks. It's my great aunt; she was a lovely woman and will be missed, but she died painlessly and knew it was coming, so she got to say goodbye.

On the plus side, I'm going to see a ton of family members that I rarely get to see, so at least some good is coming of it.

Still, somebody needs to get on that "not dying" thing. I'll find other reasons to get together with extended family.
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I am sorry for your loss, even if it was in better circumstances than many. Believe me when I say I'm working on it, as are pretty much all my classmates. I only wish we could work faster, and that more people realized that ending death as we know it is the end goal so they could better optimize for it.
 
OliWhail said:
I am sorry for your loss, even if it was in better circumstances than many. Believe me when I say I'm working on it, as are pretty much all my classmates. I only wish we could work faster.
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Maybe we need to work out time dilation IRL, too. Come on guys, put your heads together on this. :lol
 
[X] Action Plan: Every Day is Leg(work) Day

I would try and participate more but it is a busy week for work right now for me. This looks like it will get us where we need to be.
 
So for future plans, I think we should ask Kagome if his tripwire seals work for inanimate objects too, not just those that have chakra (I see no reason why they wouldn't, but it's good to ask). If so, we can have Akane set up a mechanical timer of some form (I'm sure she can figure it out given a few hours) and put an explosive seal on maximum timer (just in case the mechanism fails while we're around) attached to the tripwire seals. Basically a time bomb for distraction purposes. Just spitballing here, though, of course. We may not need a distraction of that form at all.

Ideas for Kagome: Remote detonation for his seals.
 
@eaglejarl, @Velorien: Is there any lore about sealing using blood instead of chakra ink?

I have no specific ideas at the moment, but in another game I play our chars set up an AoE necromancy spell that draws power from wounds as an early warning system to notify us if anyone is hurt by invisible assassins or something. It also had the nice side effect that if our people were murdered in our base it reanimated their corpses, making it slightly harder to damage them enough to make resurrection impossible.

I figure if there is weird blood magic we can find someway to munchkin that too.

Edit: In other completely off-topic news, playing a chaotic good necromancer with a drinking problem is !!fun!!.
 
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Jello_Raptor said:
@eaglejarl, @Velorien: Is there any lore about sealing using blood instead of chakra ink?

I have no specific ideas at the moment, but in another game I play our chars set up an AoE necromancy spell that draws power from wounds as an early warning system to notify us if anyone is hurt by invisible assassins or something. It also had the nice side effect that if our people were murdered in our base it reanimated their corpses, making it slightly harder to damage them enough to make resurrection impossible.

I figure if there is weird blood magic we can find someway to munchkin that too.

Edit: In other completely off-topic news, playing a chaotic good necromancer with a drinking problem is !!fun!!.
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That sounds like a great way to get Jashin-sama's attention. :p
 
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Omake: The Poor Man's Ninja
  • Apocrypha
    • Muer'ci said:
    Poor Man's Kusanagi :V
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    Aaaaaaand inspiration has struck.

    Omake: The Poor Man's Ninja
    *Some years in the future*

    Nishimura Sora was having a bad night. First her stupid big brother had eaten the last of the New Years' dumplings, then Yoshi had gone and said he thought Sora was prettier than Kimiko so now Kimi wasn't speaking to her but she knew Yoshi was just trying to make Kimi jealous but she couldn't tell because she'd promised and she'd gone to sleep sulking...

    ...and then the walls of her family's hut had been blown apart by a man in a stylized monkey mask in the middle of the night, who ordered them up and into the village center. He broke her dad's wrist when he protested, and Gramma's neck when she couldn't stand on her own. From the looks of it, all the other families had already gotten the same message. Kimi's brother had a broken nose, and Old Man Jirou was nowhere to be seen.

    "I want the redhead." The voice of the largest man in the raiding party held no room for refusal or compromise. He licked his lips, visible under his bird-beaked mask, pointing towards Sora. She frowned, unsure what he meant. The shorter of his companions, who had been watching the assembled villagers while Sora's family was fetched, sighed and turned his grinning jackal mask towards the corralled, shivering peasants, shrugging as if to say 'you see what I have to put up with?'

    "Condor, we have two other villages to hit tonight, we don't have the time for fun and games."

    "Then let's snap their necks and burn everything already!"

    "We're making an example of these ones. Plus, we get a bulk discount on chakra this way. Only need one fireball for all of them - even if it doesn't kill the ones in the back of the crowd they're burnt bad enough that they can't go get help, so dehydration and wildlife finish the job for us."

    "Come oooon, don't be an ass, it'll only take me a second!" the large one called Condor spat back, pausing as he realized what he'd said. The jackal one stifled a snicker.

    So did the cloaked figure who appeared from nowhere between the two of them.

    The masked men reeled back, and their monkey-faced companion spun away from herding the villagers towards the threat. A blur of motion later, Jackal and Monkey fell down, headless, and Condor was on the ground, screaming briefly and desperately cauterizing his stump of a leg. The rest of it lay next to him, cut off just above the knee and soaking the ground around it in blood. Sora looked at the body of the man closest to her, wondering distantly how his head had been sliced off from so far away.

    "I can't tell you how glad I am to have finally caught some of you scorch squad guys before you got to the slaughter part." The cloaked man's voice was laced with iron, and Sora shrank back behind her mother's legs at the sound of it. The cloaked man raised one of the knives in his hand, odd inscriptions in the metal glinting in the moonlight. A distortion in the air sprang from it, stopping against the neck of the surviving enemy ninja, who gulped. His Adams' apple nicked it in the process, drawing a tiny trickle of scarlet.

    "I take your compliance to mean we both understand the balance of power here. You know who I am?"

    The man on the ground backed his head away slowly before nodding. "Kurosawa Hazou. A million ryo alive, three quarters dead, half for information on the location of your so-called hidden village."

    Sora's jaw dropped. She'd heard rumors of this man from the merchants and travellers who were becoming more and more frequent with the town's recent booming growth - he'd been dubbed 'the Poor Man's Ninja', for the crusade his band of elite missing nin carried on for the sake of peasants in many of the elemental nations. At least, that's what the stories said.

    "Good. Up." A copy of this Kurosawa Hazou sprang up out of the ground behind Condor, pulling him up by the back of his dark uniform. The distortion that had extended from the knife tracked upwards with unnatural steadiness alongside the man's neck. Kurosawa's other hand whipped out and ripped the Condor's beaked mask off, placing a small disc of paper against his forehead instead. The disc glowed briefly, and Condor sagged against the second copy behind him.

    "Wha... what the fuck?!"

    "You no longer have access to your chakra. A new toy I've taken to calling the Poor Man's Sixty-Four Palms. Also, language. There are children here. Speaking of which..."

    To the discomfort of the stunned villagers, Kurosawa proceeded to unceremoniously drag Condor towards them. The crowd backed off a few steps, exposing Mrs. Nishimura, who had bumped into Sora when she tried to move away. Kurosawa crouched down to eye level with Sora and peered around her mother. He was, Sora decided, much more handsome than Condor.

    "My dear," he began, his voice suddenly much kinder, "I believe this man needs to say he's sorry to you. Would that be okay?" At her confused nod, he stood back up, grabbed Condor away from the copy, and dropped him in the dirt in front of her. "Apologize." The iron had returned to his voice.

    Condor looked up at him incredulously. "Ap- what? To some peasant whore??"

    Hazou's blue eyes narrowed. "How many limbs would you like to end the night with, Condor?"

    The sprawled man hesitated, then got onto his hands and remaining knee, looking over to Sora. "I'm sorry." He managed to make it sound like an insult. Hazou's foot slammed into the back of Condors head, driving his face into the ground, accompanied by a sharp crack.

    "No no, once more, with feeling, you unforgivable piece of human trash. And kowtow properly this time. You and your companions have ruined these people's homes, frightened their children, and murdered their loved ones. You tried to rape a girl who can't be older than twelve. This is the first step of your penance. You will apologize."

    Several of the villager shouted their agreement. Condor looked up at the crowd with blood and dirt caked onto his face and seemed to become acutely aware that Kurosawa might not be the only danger present to a ninja lacking any of his ninja abilities. Assuming a much more respectful stance, he knelt with his head near the ground. "I... offer my sincere apologies to the good people of Iwasaki Village... and I offer my hope that you might find mercy in your hearts for a soldier who was simply following orders."

    "Orders?" Mrs. Nishimura hissed. "You tell me you had orders to rape my daughter before you slaughtered all of us, and that you were going to follow them, and that somehow means you get mercy!?" She punctuated her last word with a sharp kick to the side of the kneeling man's head. Sora heard as much iron in her mother's voice then as she had in Kurosawa Hazou's.

    Holding his head, Condor bolted upright and lunged for the woman, his expression incandescent with rage and indignation. Suddenly Hazou was there, slapping another disc on to the man which caused him to go completely limp. "In my experience ma'am, they all fall back on that excuse eventually," he said darkly.

    He bowed deeply to the crowd. "I, Kurosawa Hazou, offer you my deepest condolences for the losses your community has felt tonight, and my apologies for failing to prevent them. I know neither of these mean much. We will work faster."

    The only person in the village who could read received a set of instructions for how to reach a "pickup point" for the "Village Hidden in Heaven", and then Hazou slung Condor over one shoulder and leapt off into the night vowing to 'show those Suna pricks that it isn't paranoia if Kagome really is out to get you'.
     
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  • Apocrypha
    • OliWhail said:
    Aaaaaaand inspiration has struck.

    Omake: The Poor Man
    *Some years in the future*

    Nishimura Sora was having a bad night. First her stupid big brother had eaten the last of the New Years' dumplings, then Yoshi had gone and said he thought Sora was prettier than Kimiko so now Kimi wasn't speaking to her but she knew Yoshi was just trying to make Kimi jealous but she couldn't tell becuase she'd promised and she'd gone to sleep sulking...

    ...and then the walls of her family's hut had been blown apart by a man in a stylized monkey mask in the middle of the night, who ordered them up and into the village center. He broke her dad's wrist when he protested, and Gramma's neck when she couldn't stand on her own. From the looks of it, all the other families had already gotten the same message. Kimi's brother had a broken nose, and Old Man Jirou was nowhere to be seen.

    "I want the redhead". The voice of the largest man in the raiding party held no room for refusal or compromise. He licked his lips, visible under his bird-beaked mask, pointing towards Sora. She frowned, unsure what was happening. The shorter of his companions, who had been watching the assembled villagers while Sora's family was fetched, sighed and turned his grinning jackal mask towards the corralled, shivering peasants, shrugging as if to say 'you see what I have to put up with?'

    "Condor, we have two other villages to hit tonight, we don't have the time for fun and games."

    "Then let's snap their necks and burn everything already!"

    "We're making an example of these ones. Plus, we get a bulk discount on chakra this way. Only need one fireball for all of them - even if it doesn't kill the ones in the back of the crowd they're burnt bad enough that they can't go get help, so dehydration and wildlife finish the job for us."

    "Come oooon, don't be an ass, it'll only take me a second!" the large one called Condor spat back, pausing as he realized what he'd said. The jackal one stifled a snicker.

    So did the cloaked figure who appeared from nowhere between the two of them.

    The masked men reeled back, and their monkey-faced companion spun away from herding the villagers towards the threat. A blur of motion later, Jackal and Monkey fell down, headless, and Condor was on the ground, screaming briefly and desperately cauterizing his stump of a leg. The rest of it lay next to him, cut off just above the knee and soaking the ground around it in blood. Sora looked at the body of the man closest to her, wondering distantly how his head had been sliced off from so far away.

    "I can't tell you how glad I am to have finally caught some of you guys before you got to the slaughter part." The cloaked man's voice was laced with iron, and Sora shrank back behind her mother's legs at the sound of it. The cloaked man raised one of the knives in his hand, odd inscriptions in the metal glinting in the moonlight. A distortion in the air sprang from it, stopping against the neck of the surviving enemy ninja, who gulped. His Adams' apple nicked it in the process, drawing a tiny trickle of scarlet.

    "I take your compliance to mean we both understand the balance of power here. You know who I am?"

    The man on the ground backed his head away slowly before nodding. "Kurosawa Hazou. A million ryo alive, three quarters dead, half for information on the location of your so-called hidden village."

    Sora's jaw dropped. She'd heard rumors of this man from the merchants and travellers who were becoming more and more frequent with the town's recent booming growth - he'd been dubbed 'the Poor Man's Ninja', for the crusade his band of elite missing nin carried on for the sake of peasants in many of the elemental nations. At least, that's what the stories said.

    "Good. Up." A copy of this Kurosawa Hazou sprang up out of the ground behind Condor, pulling him up by the back of his dark uniform. The distortion that had extended from the knife tracked upwards with unnatural steadiness alongside the man's neck. Kurosawa's other hand whipped out and ripped the Condor's beaked mask off, placing a small disc of paper against his forehead instead. The disc glowed briefly, and Condor sagged against the second copy behind him.

    "Wha... what the fuck?!"

    "You no longer have access to your chakra. A new toy I've taken to calling the Poor Man's Sixty-Four Palms. Also, language. There are children here. Speaking of which..."

    To the discomfort of the stunned villagers, Kurosawa proceeded to unceremoniously drag Condor towards them. The crowd backed off a few steps, exposing Mrs. Nishimura, who had bumped into Sora when she tried to move away. Kurosawa crouched down to eye level with Sora and peered around her mother. He was, Sora decided, much more handsome than Condor.

    "My dear," he began, his voice suddenly much kinder, "I believe this man needs to say he's sorry to you. Would that be okay?" At her confused nod, he stood back up, grabbed Condor away from the copy, and dropped him in the dirt in front of her. "Apologize." The iron had returned to his voice.

    Condor looked up at him incredulously. "Ap- what? To some peasant whore??"

    Hazou's blue eyes narrowed. "How many limbs would you like to end the night with, Condor?"

    The sprawled man hesitated, then got onto his hands and remaining knee, looking over to Sora. "I'm sorry." He managed to make it sound like an insult. Hazou's foot slammed into the back of Condors head, driving his face into the ground, accompanied by a sharp crack.

    "No no, once more, with feeling, you unforgivable piece of human trash. And kowtow properly this time. You and your companions have ruined these people's homes, frightened their children, and murdered their loved ones. You tried to rape a girl who can't be older than twelve. This is the first step of your penance. You will apologize."

    Several of the villager shouted their agreement. Condor looked up at the crowd with blood and dirt caked onto his face and seemed to become acutely aware that Kurosawa might not be the only danger present to a ninja lacking any of his ninja abilities. Assuming a much more respectful stance, he knelt with his head near the ground. "I... offer my sincere apologies to the good people of Iwasaki Village... and I offer my hope that you might find mercy in your hearts for a soldier who was simply following orders."

    "Orders?" Mrs. Nishimura hissed. "You tell me you had orders to rape my daughter before you slaughtered all of us, and that you were going to follow them, and that somehow means you get mercy!?" She punctuated her last word with a sharp kick to the side of the kneeling man's head. Sora heard as much iron in her mother's voice then as she had in Kurosawa Hazou's.

    Holding his head, Condor bolted upright and lunged for the woman, his expression incandescent with rage and indignation. Suddenly Hazou was there, slapping another disc on to the man which caused him to go completely limp. "In my experience ma'am, they all fall back on that excuse," he said darkly.

    He bowed deeply to the crowd. "I, Kurosawa Hazou, offer you my deepest condolences for the losses your community has felt tonight, and my apologies for failing to prevent them. I know neither of these mean much. We will work faster."

    The only person in the village who could read received a set of instructions for how to reach a "pickup point" for the "Village Hidden in Heaven", and then Hazou slung Condor over one shoulder and leapt off into the night vowing to 'show those Suna pricks that it isn't paranoia if Kagome really is out to get you'.
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    Whoa. That's pretty fucking cool.
     
    Jello_Raptor said:
    @OliWhail: Out of curiosity, what do you do?
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    I'm a neural engineering researcher (just graduated with degrees in bioengineering and neurobiology, going to biomedical engineering grad school next month). My classmates are various kinds of bioengineers - among my close friends are people working on rapid low-cost diagnostics for AIDS, nanoparticle drug delivery systems, novel cancer treatments, gene therapy, and artificial organs - as well as people going into careers as doctors, surgeons, and clinical researchers in various areas of neuroscience (brain cancers, mental illness, developmental and basic neuroscience, stroke...)

    Basically, if you want a picture of the future, imagine humankind stamping our collective boot on the face of death, forever :cool:
     
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