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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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Chapter 371, Part 2: The Nobster Reflects
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    • The party was finally over. Noburi, all danced out, stood by the central table laden with gifts, and thanked each of the guests profusely as they left.

    With a few exceptions, the rest of the gifts had been less memorable. Tenten's had been an allegedly indestructible emergency flask, made of metal and structurally reinforced in ways she tried and failed to explain. Akane had offered the latest sourcebook from the creators of The Witch King's Chains, a typically Akane response after Noburi had complained—on a single occasion—that his summoning training was leaving him with no time to design a new campaign (now that the usual roleplayers from the Gōketsu gaming nights had exhausted the pre-made material). Kadokura had given Noburi a gorgeous blue scarf, while Chōji had brought one of his favourite cookbooks.

    Some stood out a little more. Kagome-sensei's gift was The Master's Guide to the Bedroom Arts, an educational work of Jiraiya's which had been informally banned after Leaf General Hospital was flooded with sufferers of dislocated joints shortly after publication. Mari had been rolling on the floor with laughter, as it had turned out to be her fault for making a throwaway joke that Kagome-sensei had taken seriously. It remained unclear whether Kagome-sensei had really thought he was getting Noburi a guide on home decoration (and Auntie, his secret weapon when it came to acquiring obscure literature, had chosen not to enlighten him), or whether he'd overcome mortal embarrassment in order to acquire a gift Mari had insisted would change Noburi's life. Noburi had been gloriously mortified, while Yuno had completely failed to react.

    Ino had presented Noburi with a comma-shaped magatama earring the exact shade of Yamanaka eyes. According to her, this was a charm given by the Yamanaka to friends and lovers scheduled to travel to "spiritual danger zones", and would protect the wearer against possession by kami and evil spirits (though it would do nothing against the Yamanaka themselves, whose powers had been handed down by the Sage of Six Paths, and were thus spiritually pure).

    Hyūga had given Noburi On Purity, a collection of essays on morality and ethics penned by Hyūga Hiashi, "on the off-chance that it is not too late for you". A brief skim revealed a peculiar mixture of vitriolic bigotry, holier-than-thou moralising, and thoughtful meditation on the struggle between base drives and enlightened motivations inherent to the human condition.

    Noburi's miscellaneous male friends had given him a variety of presents, from liquor which Mari confiscated as too strong for a still-developing organism ("I remember what this stuff did to me when I was your age") to a beautifully-drawn fashion folio that also happened to function as an advertising brochure for the boy's father's store, to a spy dissection kit bought from T&I as a collective gift ("we asked around for what you like, and your sister said you missed your medical training with Yakushi-sensei, and your other sister told us about these catalogues you can get from the main office…").

    Yuno had chosen to go last, and her present was a simple green blindfold.

    "When Isan was being founded," she'd begun, "Akio chose Kanda Yukari, the great storyteller, from among his companions to record the story of Ui Isas and his successors. Kanda was unclean,"—thanks to Mari's training, Hazō caught a very brief eye flicker in Keiko's direction—"so she never had any heirs, and the role of lorekeeper ended up going to the Inoue. Still, when people tell stories, they always start with, 'With Kanda's blessing on my lips'."

    She'd taken a few steps towards Noburi, blindfold held in front of her with both hands, Satsuko left to stand against the wall.

    "The people of Isan don't really celebrate birthdays the way you do. But we do celebrate coming of age, even if it would be weird to do it at fifteen. When an Isanite comes of age, usually we ask for the blessing of our ancestor among Akio's companions. If we're allowed. But every now and again, someone outside the Inoue asks for Kanda's blessing to be a storyteller. It's a very honourable role, but it's also one of the most demanding, and if you don't follow the proper forms when you tell your stories, you'll get cursed and shrivel up and die."

    She took another step forward.

    "Noburi, when you talk, the world grows a little warmer, and I can almost see colours. When I see through your eyes, everything is close enough to touch. When you tell stories, I can be someone else, somewhere else, even if it's only for a little while. You can hunt, and you can make, but you are not a hunter or a maker. When you shape words, they can become something holy—a power that connects, a salve that takes away pain, a bridge across the ravine that separates us from the worlds that could be."

    Another step, and now she was within arm's reach.

    "Properly speaking, it's not my place to do this. I don't even know the ritual, since I never got one. But the people who are supposed to do this turned their backs on Akio's teachings long ago, and I hope they spend eternity being torn to pieces on the Naraka Path, then being sewn back together just long enough to make them hope that this the last time before they get reincarnated somewhere better, then being torn to pieces again, over and over, so I think it's OK for me to take their place.

    "Gōketsu Noburi, this blindfold is the gift of Kanda Yukari, who was blinded in Akio's defence, and who learned to see worlds free from the taint of our own. Please accept it. I think it's the right way to thank you for who you are, and the right way to end this."

    She slipped the blindfold around a stunned Noburi's head, then stepped away, both awkward and proud.

    Hazō agreed with her entirely. He was very, very glad he hadn't decided to stretch out the joke by not giving Noburi the coat until the end.

    -o-​

    Now, it was truly over. The Naked Jaybird was far behind, the guests had headed home (or, in Keiko's case, to the Nara compound, which might have been as much her home as the Gōketsu estate, but never more). As Kagome-sensei let Mari know exactly how likely he was to take her advice ever again, and Akane had yet to return from walking Ino back, Hazō took the opportunity to catch up with his still-elated brother.

    "Enjoy the party?" he asked.

    "Hell yeah!" Noburi grinned. "I mean, it could have done with more girls, but that goes for most things. I figure I'll get them to make it up to me next year. Hey, thanks for all your work organising it. The musicians were a great touch. I love our usual birthday get-togethers, but there's really something about being able to just cut loose on the dance floor. Also, Yuno trying to teach Hyūga traditional Isan dance? You could all have given me Pandā-brand military memorabilia for gifts, and I'd still be satisfied with how that party went."

    "No problem," Hazō said. "Least I could do. Seriously, Noburi, it means a lot to me to know that you always have my back. It's good to get the chance to show my appreciation every once in a while."

    "Celebrate my birthday more often," Noburi said. "Got it. What was with the coat, though? Don't get me wrong, I love it, but getting it off your shoulder like that? The symbolism's a little icky."

    "Uh… I thought it would be funny at the time?"

    Noburi shook his head. "There's the Hazō we all know and love. Great planner, passable organiser, never quite as smart as he thinks he is. But luckily, I'm the Captain Zabuza of putting up with annoying siblings. I'm over it. And it really is a great coat. No way does anyone in Leaf have one of these babies."

    No, he really wasn't. Noburi could never be Captain Zabuza, who still occasionally turned up in Hazō's dreams, as if one evening's humiliation was to be repaid with a lifetime of the hunter-nin's cold, dead hand squeezing Hazō's heart until he woke up drenched in sweat. No, if Captain Zabuza ever found himself stuck with an annoying little sister, he'd probably murder her without a second thought.

    "Anyway," Hazō said urgently, "how about… you and Yuno? That was quite a thing back there. I take it everything's going well?"

    "Honestly," Noburi said, "no clue. I thought she was being kind of distant lately. But then she did what she did with the girls, and you heard what she said when she gave me her gift. It's mixed signal city over here."

    "I'm sure you'll figure things out," Hazō said. "As long as you genuinely care about each other, it's just a matter of talking things through. Also, have you considered not inviting hordes of girls to your party when you know she's going to be there?"

    Noburi shook his head. "That's crazy talk. I mean, it's not like I'm going to cheat on her. I just want to have a little fun."

    Hazō sighed. "Never mind. I'm sure Satsuko will explain it all to you in due course. In the meantime, what are we going to do about adopting her? Yuno, I mean, not Satsuko. We still have an adoption slot left. Should we use it?"

    Noburi rolled his eyes to the heavens in mock despair. "I swear we've been over this, Hazō. Or if not, we totally should have been. If Yuno's adopted, she stops being a Kannagi. If she stops being a Kannagi, then it's not a marriage alliance anymore. Our plan is to turn up at Kannagi's doorstep going, 'Hey, look, your granddaughter's just tied your clan to this global superpower. Say you approved the marriage all along, and suddenly you've got a massive influence boost in Isan and a powerful ally in the outside world. Say Yuno's still a missing-nin, and Leaf is still on your doorstep, only now you're irrelevant and you've insulted Isan's point of contact.' But if she gets adopted, then she's in the exact same position as us. None of us are legitimate representatives of our old clans, and the only diplomatic link we have is based on goodwill, of which there's precious little to go round."

    "Ah. Right. Speaking of diplomatic links, how about the Toads? How's your relationship with them, apart from wanting to call Gamasēji a yellow-throated sprogfloinker? Which he definitely is—I'm already at risk of being cursed by the ancestors for being me and burned up by the Will of Fire for committing treason against Leaf. Alleged treason," he added in case anyone was listening. "I keep telling him I don't need a third religion to worry about."

    "You always take that stuff too seriously," Noburi said. "Just accept that when we die, there's going to be a battle for our souls that'll make Nagi Island look like a playground spat. It'll be great. We can bring honeyed nuts, and place bets.

    "Anyway, that asshole aside—do Toads have assholes? If they do, I'm sure it'll be in Keiko's report—it's not too bad. The boss is still making noises about having me replaced with a 'proper' jōnin if I don't shape up, but at this point I think that's more of a way to keep me in line than a real decision that he's still thinking about. On the other hand, contracts are very much a work in progress. The Toads don't have a rigid command structure like the Pangolins, so I'm not going to be assigned my own unit just by making friends with the right high-ups. I mean, if I ask for help, I'll get something, but I'll also be the summoner who couldn't handle his own recruitment. Considering whose shoes I have to fill, that's not an option."

    Hazō nodded. "If there's one thing I can blame Jiraiya for, it's the act he left us to follow. Every time I have to make a big decision, I end up wondering what he'd have done, with his decades of experience, and his world-shaking power, and that blazing charisma he could turn on and off like a seal with an Urahara conditional."

    "Yeah," Noburi said. "Sometimes I get envious of you for being clan head, but then I remember what you have to live up to, and I'm very glad that I'm just Leaf's rising star of ninjutsu, Tsunade's future rival, and the man who will get all the girls and make Haraguro the Harem Lord break down in tears at my feet even if I have to successfully romance Satsuko first."

    "Rising star of ninjutsu?" Hazō asked. "Does that mean the Akimichi techniques are paying off?"

    Noburi grimaced. "Not yet. I asked Chōji, and he wasn't optimistic. The Akimichi train those for years before they get any real payoff. I'm hoping we can do better—it'll really suck if I end up falling behind you guys."

    "Sorry," Hazō said. "Didn't mean to bring down the mood. Do you think I'm doing it, though? Living up to expectations? I mean, I know I'm no Jiraiya, but I'm doing my best with the Gōketsu, and with making Uplift work now that we finally have the resources. I'm never sure, though—am I doing enough?"

    Noburi spent a while thinking.

    "I don't know," he finally said. "I can tell we're doing a lot of stuff, but I can't fit it all together in my head. We're teaching civilians, and we're doing research on flying, because I guess skywalkers aren't enough, and toilets for some reason, and we're trying to splinter the KEI, and there's the scary stuff Mari keeps going off to do… I'm not sure where half of it is supposed to go. Till'n'fills made sense to me in a way a lot of what we're doing now doesn't. I'm sure you have some grand vision in your head where all these pieces fit together, but you haven't exactly shared it with us.

    "If there's one place we're dropping the ball, I think it's medicine. Civilians are dying in droves out there, and Tsunade and her people are just too swamped. Did Akane tell you? Apparently, during the election Ami bribed her with free access to the Water Country in exchange for helping set up the KEI. Only that hasn't happened because Tsunade can't go far from Leaf in case there's an attack, and there aren't enough medic-nin to send out either. Which figures. It's a rough job, you have to train longer and harder than everyone else, you get way less downtime, and you're more vulnerable in the field because you have less combat training and everyone knows to go for the medic first. And of course, Leaf lost a whole lot of medic-nin because anti-clanless discrimination meant a lot of them were from clans that went down in the Great Collapse. Right now, anyone who tries to turn away a candidate gets to deal with the KEI and Tsunade, and they'd better pray it's in that order, but we're still going to take years to train up the next generation. And that sucks, because half the stuff civilians die from could be fixed with the most basic medical ninjutsu, if we only had the numbers. I could banish common rot spirits just with the stuff I learned from Hashimoto back in the day."

    "I'll give it some thought," Hazō said. "Can't let a corner of the world get away unrevolutionised. Thanks for catching that, Noburi. This is what I'm talking about—you're the brother I know I can count on."

    He offered Noburi a fist.

    "Don't get all sappy on me now," Noburi said. "Actually, no, it's my birthday. Get as sappy as you like if it means telling me how great I am. And hey, as brothers go, I could do a lot worse myself."

    They shared a slow, satisfied fist bump.

    "By the way," Hazō said as they walked on towards the compound, storage scrolls heavy with a bewildering variety of gifts from family, friends, strangers, and even enemies, "I have good news. So I talked to Akane…"

    -o-​

    You have received 4 + 1 + 1 = 6 XP.

    QM fun-to-write XP included.

    -o-​

    Voting is closed.
     
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    • Divulging the existence and purpose of a new seal to random civilians seems a bit opsec-faily. Is this a cunning plot to ferret spies out that I missed?

    I would expect such a thing to be coordinated with the hokage.
     
    Not sure if we could do anything about the medical side.

    [X] Action Plan: Side Projects

    • Investigate the state of civilian medicine
      • What skills and knowledge they possess?
      • What duties do civilians perform in hospitals?
      • What ninja medicine can do that civilian currently can't?
      • Gather a committee of med-nin, engineers, botanists and other smart people to figure out what could be done.
        • Dedicated pharmaceutical garden? New inventions and equipment? Subsidies and student grants?
     
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    Kiba said:
    Not sure if we could do anything about the medical side.

    [X] Action Plan: Side Projects

    • Investigate the state of civilian medicine
      • What skills and knowledge they possess?
      • What duties do civilians perform in schools?
      • What ninja medicine can do that civilian currently can't?
      • Gather a committee of med-nin, engineers, botanists and other smart people to figure out what could be done.
        • Dedicated pharmaceutical garden? New inventions and equipment? Subsidies and student grants?
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    Both EJ and Vel said that voting was closed in their updates kiba.
     
    eaglejarl said:
    "You can't retire!" Lord Kagome said, repeating himself with an absolutely stricken expression. "No one else gets the cherry-infused syrup in the right proportions to the hickory essence."
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    Velorien said:
    Kagome-sensei's gift was The Master's Guide to the Bedroom Arts, an educational work of Jiraiya's which had been informally banned after Leaf General Hospital was flooded with sufferers of dislocated joints shortly after publication. Mari had been rolling on the floor with laughter, as it had turned out to be her fault for making a throwaway joke that Kagome-sensei had taken seriously.
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    Kagome continues to be a delight :)

    Velorien said:
    Gōketsu Noburi, this blindfold is the gift of Kanda Yukari, who was blinded in Akio's defence, and who learned to see worlds free from the taint of our own. Please accept it. I think it's the right way to thank you for who you are, and the right way to end this."
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    I think Yuno's waiting for Noburi to show/prove that he's serious about her. Either way, this was a touching moment that made me smile softly.

    Velorien said:
    Akane had yet to return from walking Ino back
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    How ominous...

    Velorien said:
    I'm sure you have some grand vision in your head where all these pieces fit together, but you haven't exactly shared it with us.
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    We should probably do that. Before we head out to hunt the scroll, have a Team Uplift/Goketsu meeting where we lay out our plans so that they're in the loop. If nothing else, it'll add perspectives and they might think of things we haven't.

    Velorien said:
    I'll give it some thought," Hazō said. "Can't let a corner of the world get away unrevolutionised. Thanks for catching that, Noburi. This is what I'm talking about—you're the brother I know I can count on."
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    Welp. Time to shake up the medical field. >:3 How does "Hazou discovers germ theory" sound for a quest tag?

    [x] (Doggo) A tracking dog

    [X] Training Hazō: Shadow clones

    (At work, usual voting stuff is linked to my sig. Ping me if you have any questions/comments/concerns, but I probably won't get to it until late(ish) tonight)
     
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    Attention everyone.

    [X] Training Akane: Initiating Apotheosis
    Shadow Clone Technique 30: 255 XP

    (save 12 XP)

    Akane is ready to FOOM with SC 30. She can get 3 training blocks (TN 29), rolls Resolve (Effective 26 w/ SC bonus), on -12 takes 5 stress, which is a Mild and a full stress track (in which case, she takes a day off). Her effective XP rate will become 1.3x
     
    Velorien said:
    On Purity, a collection of essays on morality and ethics penned by Hyūga Hiashi
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    These would have been great when Hiashi was hokage. They might stil be useful when interacting with Hyuga. Actually, I wonder if Hazou's already read em, and if not why.

    I forget, did we ever ask the clan how to fix our Zabuza troubles?

    Velorien said:
    we're trying to splinter the KEI
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    What? This is worrying. Should find out what this is about.
     
    [X] Training Hazō: Shadow clones

    Separately, since Hazou now has longer SC timers, I think we need a check-up on how much time is remaining on J's spy note decoding. If we can, I'd like to move Hazou's clones to Kagome's task, so we can have Akane mono-focus Resolve*. Comparatively, this is the lowest that Hazou's clone-time will ever be worth.

    * if we can do this in a way that doesn't make Asuma execute us for misuing SC blah blah
     
    PSA: The Out hungered! A part of history has fallen prey to its insatiable appetite and a new timeline has been forged!

    Or, in less dramatic words: I misunderstood that the seal was supposed to be a clan secret, so Hazō has now never spilled the beans to a random shopkeeper. See final scene of update for changes.
     
    We can also make an adoption if it is useful to do so sooner rather than later, now that we know Yuno doesn't need a slot. It shouldn't expire until the end of December, and it is currently early August, so we have plenty of time to decide.

    Our options include:
    Reo and Atomu, two ninja who already work regularly for the Goketsu and are eager to be adopted soon. Personally, I would like to precommit to spending the 2 slots we get in January on them, and tell them so, and use the current slot we have on someone else.

    Noda, an alcoholic technique hacker of unknown elemental affinity, very disinterested in us right now but Mari has been working behind the scenes to make her like us more (or something like that). Probably still going to take a while to get her to crack, so we will likely have to hold off on her for a good while. I would not mind making outreaches to her to begin wooing her, but there's no telling how long it'll take.

    Aya? Ava? Something like that. I don't remember much about her, I think it was mentioned she's kind of unstable and may need an extended period of mental help before she's fit for duty again. Not sure we need to be investing our time in giving another Goketsu therapy just yet, considering we still need to handle the ones we've got already lol

    Sakura, who is a genjutsu spec in this universe, talented enough to be teamed with Naruto and Sasuke but not enough to graduate with them. Probably still has good social ties to both and would be a viable way to influence them socially. Also former teammates with both Haru and Akane, might be a path of good influence on Haru. My personal number 1 right now, since she can learn Mari's techniques and be her field replacement (since Mari doesn't want to do field missions anymore)

    Rock Lee, goes without saying. He's very powerful which is useful, but his archetype is also already covered by Akane, and the rest of Goketsu besides Akane is against adopting him due to his personality. Still, decently solid choice

    And of course, there's the option of holding off on using the slot since we have the time. Having more ninja to bring on quests would be nice, but otherwise isn't all that important besides just generally bolstering the clan's power for publicity reasons and also because it's cool as hell to have an army of ninja at your command so this isn't exactly pressing, but it is still worth discussion imo.
     
    In accordance with Hazō's suggested training, Keiko has levelled the Shadow Clone Technique up to 30, and is now eligible for the training XP bonus. As a reminder, it is the players' responsibility to keep track of this.

    Additionally, the character sheets have been updated with the latest Pangolin Training Technique and Yamanaka Technique expenditures. Physique and Resolve have been raised accordingly.
     
    [X] Training Hazō: Shadow clones
    [X] Training Akane: Initiating Apotheosis
    [x] (Doggo) A tracking dog

    Not sure about other two doggos yet.

    Also, with Akane getting SC we should start setting up her SC SOP, if only to have it logged somewhere how many clones she can make and how many sessions she does in ideal conditions.
    (e: and Keiko)

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    Shrooms said:
    We can also make an adoption if it is useful to do so sooner rather than later, now that we know Yuno doesn't need a slot. It shouldn't expire until the end of December, and it is currently early August, so we have plenty of time to decide.
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    I don't think that was what the passage actually conveyed? I think it was more 'Yuno wouldn't be adopted, she'd marry in', but marrying into a clan still takes an adoption ticket because Yuno would become a Goketsu and get a piece of the clan ninja pie.

    If it means we don't need to use the slot, then great, but I don't think that was what Noburi said.
     
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    Velorien said:
    In accordance with Hazō's suggested training, Keiko has levelled the Shadow Clone Technique up to 30, and is now eligible for the training XP bonus. As a reminder, it is the players' responsibility to keep track of this.

    Additionally, the character sheets have been updated with the latest Pangolin Training Technique and Yamanaka Technique expenditures. Physique and Resolve have been raised accordingly.
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    Will there be a narrative conflict in terms of SC hours and training? I.e., if we want Snowflake to spend every second of her existence training Resolve, will we be able to treat Keiko's XP gain as if this were the case?
     
    Tracking Dog, Genjutsu Dog, and Dog That Is Good At Covering Tracks because goodness knows we're terrible at stealth.
     
    Quick note:

    I have not discussed this with @Velorien but my intent in the chapter was not "Ask Cannai for doggos and ye shall receive because he is Alpha and will command them to work with you." It was "Ask Cannai for doggos and he will introduce you to some that are a good match for what you want, and you can then attempt to convince them to work with you."
     
    [X] Shadow Clone SOP: Keiko Default
    • Daily:
      • 3 blocks of XP training
        • Upgrade to 4 blocks at Resolve 23. Do not upgrade past then until additional chakra sources are sorted out.
        • Two fewer blocks than normal on the day before a mission, to guarantee no Consequences.
    Current resolve: 20
    Current internal chakra: 270
    Status of chakra refills: ambiguous

    Max castable clones: 4 (150 + 100 = 250)
    Max clone-hours: 9

    [ ] Shadow Clone SOP: Akane Default
    • Daily:
      • 2 blocks of XP training
    Current resolve: 21
    Current internal chakra: 300
    Status of chakra refills: ambiguous

    Max castable clones: 5 (150 + 125 = 275)
    Max clone-hours: 7

    As per my main proposal on the matter, if we agree on this as a community this would be our expected plan for them unless something in the winning plan or update supersedes it. We can also then change it when their resolve grows.
     
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