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Chapter 365: Showing Koitesy

July 27, 1069 AS

"Ugh." Hazō shook his hand out to get rid of the cramps from signing form after form. "Gaku, have I told you how grateful I am to have you?"

"Thank you, sir. This is the last of the funding authorizations, if you'll sign here?"

Hazō skimmed through the form and then dashed his signature at the bottom. "Hark, do mine eyes deceive me? Is that actually the bottom of the stack?"

Gaku's thin lips twitched. "Yes sir. We're done. The paperwork has been defeated for today."

"Good news, good news." With a tired sigh he leaned his chair back, balancing effortlessly on the rear two legs as he rubbed his face. "Oh, I checked in with the skyslider team."

"Yes?"

"Yeah. They were good boys and girls while I was there but I think there's still some resentment getting in the way. Have Kimmi keep an eye on them, okay?"

"Of course, sir. Was it an enjoyable visit otherwise?"

"Actually, yes. They talked my ear off about wings and tails and feather designs and a lot of other stuff that went in one ear and out the other. Still, they seemed to enjoy having me there and I did some ego-stroking. Told them their job was the future of Leaf and everyone was counting on them, etcetera etcetera. Took them out for dinner to the Jaybird."

"I shall keep an eye out for the receipts, sir. No further cases of food poisoning, I trust?"

"Not that I saw. They seemed to enjoy it well enough."

"I'm glad to hear that, sir."

"Yeah, me too. Anyway, any further news on the telescope merchant? Or glass makers in general?"

"No further news on the telescope fellow, I fear. We have located a family of glassblowers in Tanzaku Gai. The father makes housewares—plates, pitchers, cups, things of that sort. His daughter is branching out into selling small knickknacks for rich men to put on their shelves."

"Cool. Figure out what it will take to convince them to move here and make it happen. Give them whatever they need for research. I want to be able to make telescopes."

"Yes sir."

"Is Mari back from her spa trip?" He forced himself to not put any emphasis on 'spa trip'. Mari's note saying that she was off to Hot Springs had been elegantly written, perfectly phrased, accompanied by an entirely plausible itinerary, and complete nonsense. Gōketsu Mari did not go off on vacation when there was politics and skulduggery to be had at home.

"Yes sir. Came in late last night." The last words were muddled by a jaw-cracking yawn.

"Sorry for making you get up so early," Hazō said, abashed. "I'm hitting the books with Kagome-sensei today and I wanted to clear the decks beforehand."

"No"—yawn—"trouble at all, sir. It's what I'm here for."

"Well, I still appreciate it. Anyway, I'd like to get with the two of you to talk about our chocolate monopoly and the fact that we're about to lose it because of this new harvest from the field that didn't get flooded. I'd appreciate it if the two of you would put together a plan—should we buy the land? Burn the crop? Do we buy up the chocolate first or not worry about it? The two of you put a proposal together and let's talk the day after tomorrow, first thing in the morning before I need to get to research."

Gaku gave no appearance of being anything other than sanguine about more 5AM meetings. "Of course, sir."

"Oh, and if the plan is destructive make sure no farmers are left destitute afterwards."

"Of course, sir."

"In general, tell her to make sure the whole thing is in line with Uplift. She'll understand the details of what I mean by that."

"Of course, sir."

"Thanks, Gaku."

"It's what I'm here for, sir. In other news, late last night Miss Keiko replied to your invitation. She is delighted to accompany you in clearing out the mine, but she is unable to leave for the next three days."

"That's actually good, since I want to do some more research on this chakra-sensing seal. I'm close. I can feel it."

"If I may make a request, sir?"

"Sure, what?"

"Please do not destroy the world. It's where I keep my books."

"Well, since you ask so nicely..."

o-o-o-o​

July 31, 1069 AS, post-action review of seal infusion attempt

"No, no, no!" Kagome-sensei shouted, grabbing the chalk and using it to draw overly dramatic arrows indicating relevant parts of Hazō's proposed seal design. "It failed because this is a hexalink and it needs to be a heptalink, because a hexalink won't be stable in this configuration! It needs—"

"A hexalink will be fine!" Hazō snapped back. "Plus it reduces cthonostatic tension all through this arc." He gestured at the southwest quadrant.

"A hexalink will not be fine!"

"Yes, it will! The..." Hazō trailed off, groping for the right words. The subtle arts of sealing had become so much clearer to him since his experience with the Summoning Scroll. The interaction between his bloodline and the ancient artifact had divorced him from his body and left him drifting through the ultimate reality that undergirded the layer of paint that was what he thought of as the 'real' world. When Hazō had returned from his spiritual venture he had brought back fuzzy impressions of how the two realities interacted, and they had been tremendously helpful in knowing why seals did what they did. Unfortunately, although his new intuitions were usually reliable, they did not come with convenient labels that would allow them to be easily communicated.

"Hah! See! You can't describe it, so it's wrong!"

"That is not how logic works!"

"Logic?! Logic?! We're sealmasters! We both recognize—and it better be both of us!—that a skew-join trinary linking will convert to a quaternary when it's infused under a three-quarters waxing moon and will invert itself if infused under a three-quarters waning moon! Since when is logic even remotely relevant?!"

"Logic is absolutely relevant! How can you possibly think that logic is not relevant?! That's insane! How else are we supposed to—"

Hazō cut himself off at the sound of a very tentative knock on the door. Both sealmasters looked to see what the interruption was, only to find that it appeared to consist of a single eye and a sliver of a nine-year-old boy's head, the rest concealed behind the doorjamb.

"What's up, Masato?" Hazō asked, forcing himself to smile and speak gently.

The boy leaned out so that more of him was visible, then stepped into view when he saw that the crazy senior ninja were temporarily done being loud and scary. Scarier.

"Please, M'Lord, we're being attacked! Captain Atomu said to run and tell you that there were Mist ninja at the gates and I don't want to get eaten! Please don't let them eat me, M'Lord!"

Instinctively, Hazō grabbed Kagome-sensei's arm. He wasn't exactly sure why, but it seemed like the thing to do.

"Masato, it's okay. We're not going to let anyone do anything bad to you, okay?"

Giant wide-eyed nod.

"Can you tell me exactly what Atomu said?"

"Yes, M'Lord. I was training with Kimmi near the west gate. She's been working on Goddess Plucks the Rose, which I think is a stupid form because—"

"Skip ahead, please. What did Atomu say?"

"Sorry sir. He said to run and get you and tell you that there were foreign ninja from Mist at the gate and may he please kill them all? They've got a bunch of really big carts that they won't let him look inside and he's afraid they might be explosives."

Hazō exchanged nervous glances with Kagome-sensei before both of them vanished into the blur of top ninja speed.

o-o-o-o​

"And I don't care if you're the second coming of the First Fucking Hokage, if you fish fuckers take one step closer to my gate then my men and I will blast you to dust!" Atomu bellowed as Hazō and Kagome-sensei arrived.

"Listen, you ignorant little troll," shouted the blue-clad man below, "I don't know who you are, but my Lord is doing your Lord an unbelievable favor. Keeping us standing out here where it's at risk of disclosure to the whole world, or—"

"What seems to be the problem?" Hazō asked, jumping up to the wall and then down on the other side of the closed gate. From the corner of his eye he saw Kagome-sensei stop at the top of the wall and pull throwing disks into each hand.

The Gōketsu estate's wall was moderately impressive—originally a six-foot high mass of granite ten inches thick, daily applications of the Multiple Earth Wall jutsu had enlarged it to be twenty feet high and a full three feet thick, stretching in an unbroken red-granite wave around the entire many-acre expanse of the estate. Despite those increases, it was still dwarfed by the massive towering escarpment that was the Wall of Leaf. The Wall originally raised by the First Hokage, that towered and loomed and left its imprimatur on history. And also left the vegetable garden in the shade too much of the day, so which numbskull had chosen to plant here of all places? No, think about that later.

"Ah, Lord Gōketsu, finally. I am Wakahisa Wataru."

Wakahisa was a squat, stubby man shaped much like the barrel that he wore on his back. His silk robes were a pale blue, the folds perfectly crisp; he must have donned them no more than minutes before approaching the Gōketsu gate, as there was no way such finery remained so clean on the road. The dandyish clothing did an excellent job hiding the shape and size of his body, including concealing his hands inside overly long sleeves. They did not, however, conceal the fact that Wakahisa's neck was a solid block of muscle with no visible fat.

Behind him stood a bizarre sight: Six massive covered wagons, each one essentially a mobile fortress. The wagons were pulled by two brace of oxen apiece, with a driver and a guard sitting on the buckboard. The guards wore Mist ninja headbands while the drivers were bare-headed and presumably civilians. Two dozen other civilians in homespun accompanied the group on foot, looking tired and travel-stained.

"Your Lordship, would you please tell your man here that I am expected and he can stop with his ridiculous threats?"

Hazō studied the wagons for a moment longer, still baffled by the size of them. No civilian trade caravan he'd ever seen used anything nearly that big. They would mire at the slightly touch of rain and even with four oxen they had to be slow as molasses. In fact, they could only conceivably be used for travel if the caravan were accompanied by a large number of ninja to defend it, and the ninja brought with them a large number of storage scrolls full of fodder to feed the oxen. Under the circumstances, it was inconceivable that they could be profitable.

"My Lord?" Wakahisa said tentatively. "You were expecting me, yes? Lady Sadaharu and her escort were sent ahead a month ago."

"I'm sorry," Hazō said, shaking his head. "I don't know who that is. We haven't had any visitors from Mist."

"Oh." For a moment, Wakahisa seemed utterly confounded. "Well...perhaps I could come in and we could sort it out?"

"Why exactl—oh." Hazō nodded thoughtfully. "Are you bringing me the Wakahisa half of the deal I made with Yasuji?"

Wakahisa nodded. "I am indeed, sir. Although we may have a problem if Lady Sadaharu never arrived. She was supposed to do the preliminary setup for the receiving facilities. I am a junior piscitist; I'm comfortable with doing simple maintenance tasks on the road but managing your entire facility is beyond me." He glanced over his shoulder at the wagons. "I would be grateful if we could move this conversation inside? I've dragged these things across two hundred miles of ocean and then some ungodly number of miles of dense forest and I would hate to lose them now. Also, there's some time pressure. You will need to use my cargo within the next week, two at the absolute most."

"Right. Open the gate! Wakahisa, we'll be taking your wagons up to the north end of the estate. There's a stream there and we're going to want the koi isolated from everything else. Atomu, send someone to find Noburi and tell him to meet us there on the double. Then find Gaku. Tell him he needs to organize a logistical effort on the level of constructing one of our apartment complexes and he needs to get it done in forty-eight hours. After he finishes freaking out, help him pack up whatever he needs and then bring him to the stream at ninja speed. Go."

"Gōketsu!" Atomu slapped his fist to his chest in salute and Substituted away.

"Wakahisa, welcome to the Gōketsu estate," Hazō said, gesturing invitation as the massive gate slowly creaked open.

o-o-o-o​

"I'm here, sir!" Gaku said, stumbling a bit as he slid off of Atomu's back. "Thank you, Captain. That was terrifying."

Atomu chuckled. "My daughter likes it."

"With the greatest respect, Captain: I have no idea how old your daughter is, but I suspect that I am a bit older and creakier."

"Thank you, Atomu," Hazō said. "Another set of details for you: I need three ninja messengers dispatched.

"The first messenger goes to the Tower. I want two dozen chakra-battery missions and two construction missions for ninja with Multiple Earth Wall. Post the missions at top rate and then wait around; if one of the MEW ninja shows up and sees the mission but the rate is too low, just pay them what they want.

"The other two messengers go into the city. Find candidates for the missions and send them to the board to sign up. We're not waiting for people to happen by. Start the chakra-battery search with the KEI—the organization, not the clan. Gaku, check your records on the MEW specialists we worked with before. I remember there were a couple that were good but I don't remember their names."

"Yes, My Lord." / "Gōketsu!"

Atomu and Gaku moved a few steps away; Atomu started unsealing most of Gaku's office, including his chair and a small desk. Gaku immediately began riffling through papers.

Hazō turned back to Wakahisa. "All right, now—"

"I can't find him, My Lord!" Shōta shouted, waving his skinny seven-year-old arms frantically as he ran up. "He's not in his quarters or the dining hall or on the training field or anywhere! He's gone!"

"Shōta!" Atomu snapped. "We do not interrupt His Lordship like that!"

Hazō blinked, taking a moment to remember that Shōta had been sent to look for Noburi. "Thank you, Shōta. He's probably in the city. Atomu, please have one of the older ninja find him."

"Gōketsu!"

That was starting to get a little old. Atomu had always been grateful to be allowed to live on the estate and serve, despite not being adopted. When it was explained to him that the clan only had so many adoption tickets and he would be adopted as soon as one became available, he had become a bit too eager to prove himself worthy of being moved up the adoption queue. Technically, it was probably either illegal or rude for him to be using the clan name as an acknowledgement of orders—illegal if it were viewed as invoking his connection to the shared spirit that was a clan bond, rude if it were considered that he was simply shouting Hazō's surname at him. Either way, Hazō wasn't going to make a big deal out of it.

Come to think of it, he should probably do something about the other clanless ninja who had been living on the estate ever since the Collapse. They had to be feeling uncertain about their place now that things had calmed down. Still, that was a problem for another day.

"Excuse me for the distractions," Hazō said, turning back to Wakahisa. "I want to make sure that we have everything we need. Honestly, I have no idea how you pulled this off."

The caravan had creaked its way through the gates with great effort. The ground inside the gate was loamy and the massive wagons would have sunk themselves immovably if the carvan's porters had not put boards under the wheels, moving each board to the front again as the wagon moved off of it.

There must be a simpler way, Hazō thought to himself. Some kind of big oval board that went around all the wheels, maybe? No, that wouldn't work. He shook the thought away.

Once they had arrived at the spot that would be the future Gōketsu Chakra Koi pond the wagons had been halted, the oxen unhitched and led away, and the wagons partially disassembled.

As it happened, they were not actually 'wagons' in the conventional sense. They were essentially immense wooden crates wrapped around six only slightly less immense tubs of water, each one more than large enough for six people to soak in at once. In each tank swam one pair of koi.

"I count twelve fish," Hazō said calmly. "We bargained on twenty-five."

"My apologies, My Lord. We—"

"'Sir' is fine."

"Thank you, sir. We tried but it simply wasn't feasible. The fish require enormous amounts of food, and the quantities required increase very quickly as the size of the school increases. Furthermore, each fish requires a large amount of water to live in. If they are put in too small a space they become aggressive and even cannibalistic, but large tanks of water are heavy and hard to move overland. These tanks"—he waved at the soaking-tub sized things behind him—"are actually smaller than they should be. It's been an effort to manage the fish on the way.

"In any case, the solution was to ship six breeding pairs and a senior piscitist—that would be Lady Sadaharu—to manage the breeding and ensure maximum fertility. Lord Wakahisa has sent his formal apology and also authorization for you to have forty koi instead of twenty-five. He hopes this will suffice to maintain good relations between our clans."

"Hmm." Hazō pursed his lips in thought as he studied the two-foot fish that swam languidly around the tanks. "How long do they take to breed? How many offspring will we typically get?"

"Ordinarily, breeding season would already be upon us, but I have been delaying it while we were on the road by restricting the amount of food I give them, and also through use of some additives in their water. We can only do that for another week at the very most and then the fish must be allowed to breed or they will sicken.

"Once their season begins, the fish will mate repeatedly, but they will not be fertile unless conditions are correct—the amount of available space, an assured food supply, proper temperature and water flavorings, and various other factors that are secret to my arts. Assuming a productive match, each female will spawn up to a thousand eggs, of which perhaps half will actually bear fruit. The firstborn young will emerge ravenous and will preferentially eat the other eggs unless they are immediately transferred to a separate nursery. Even under optimal conditions, most of the young will die within a few days or a week. Any fishling that makes it for a month will probably make it to adulthood."

"And therefore we should expect...?"

"Oh! Yes, sorry sir. Under the care of a master piscitist it would be reasonable to expect perhaps twenty fishlings from each pair to make it to one month. If they live that long then the amount of care required drops tremendously and they will generally make it to adulthood unless something goes greatly wrong."

"How long do they live?"

"There are koi in the Wakahisa ponds that are older than I am, sir."

"Interesting. All right, how soon before they can generate chakra?"

Wakahisa hesitated. "Well, it depends..."

"Let me clarify the question," Hazō said quickly, eager to head off the string of caveats and equivocations that he saw looming. "I want to hear a specific number of months after birth that you would feel comfortable draining chakra from a koi for your own use assuming that you wanted to do so in a sustainable way that would not hurt the fish."

"Um...well... An adult koi—that is, a one-year-old—can have chakra drained from it every day without suffering any damage. Unfortunately, having their chakra levels fluctuate too much will delay or eliminate the fish's breeding cycle for the year, so we typically divide the fish by purpose—one set of pools for the breeders and one for the suppliers."

Hazō sighed. "Right. Okay, so we're going to need multiple different ponds. Lovely."

Wakahisa bent and dipped his hand into the flowing stream that cut through the north end of the Gōketsu estate. "This water is far too cold, sir. To be comfortable, koi want a temperature approximately that of a cool summer day. It needs to be slightly warmer for them to breed, so there will need to be a graduated series of pools." He shook his head in disbelief. "Lady Sadaharu truly never arrived?"

"She did not. I've already sent a search mission out to see if we can figure out what happened to her. In the meantime, you're the one who knows what you're doing and we need these fish functional and breeding this season. Tell us what you need to make that happen."

Wakahisa paled.





Author's Note: Hazō did seal research and made significant progress. Your plan did not specify whether or not to use FP so I decided to spend 2 ("Promising Sealing Student" and "Kagome Checked My Design"). Kagome consulted with you (and therefore supplied an Aspect for you to invoke) but did not have time to actually participate in the research proper since he's still doing the decoding and any scrap of time he's not decoding he is teaching his three students. (Based on the nature of his grumbling he is very pleased at their progress.)

At this point, Hazō pretty much has the seal nailed down and needs only to finalize the last couple of pieces, check for edge cases, and write up the report. He spent 4 days on it in this update and probably needs 4-7 more.

The situation with the koi doesn't require much input from Hazō—essentially the only thing he can do is authorize expenditures, and that doesn't require the hivemind's attention. You can be involved if there's something unusual you want to do, but it's fine to say "Enable the koi pond" and call it a day. Wakahisa will do his best to put something together for you, but he's feeling very out of his depth and he can't promise the outcome. He very much wants you to send someone back to Mist to fetch a more experienced piscivist, but that will take at least a week round trip and there isn't time so he's doing what he can.

A comment on the chocolate scene from the plan: I'm glad you're engaging with this plotline, and I salute you for having good ideas and doing the right things, but this part of the plan was pretty much "have Mari (i.e. the QMs) figure it out." An alternate way to do it would be to write "Check if she has a plan and if so do it. Otherwise, have her check this plan: [details] Assuming she has no objections, do it."

Finally, thank you guys for engaging with the 'dangerous iron mine' plot line and giving me the chance to write both punching and Dogs. I didn't have the juice to do that justice and it was about time for the caravan to show up so I figured I'd do the koi instead. The mine is probably going to be a big enough thing that it would be worth making it the only entry in a plan. The Watsonian part is easy but the Doylist part requires showing at least a tiny bit of prequel ("Where are we going and why"), then scene setting ("What do we see when we get there?"), character interaction ("You do X, I'll do Y") and then the actual combat. That would likely end up being a moderately long update all to itself.

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Chapter 366: Upright Spines and Ruffled Feathers

"Well, would you look at that?" Hazō exclaimed in exaggerated disbelief. "Snake eyes again! Any more, and Orochimaru will accuse me of stealing his collection!"

There was a series of chuckles from around the gambling table, if slightly subdued ones—even now, months after the advent of the Final Gift Programme, Orochimaru's name continued to strike fear into the hearts of many clanless ninja. Hazō made a mental note not to use the joke again.

Since he was playing with the house dice, Hazō could lose exactly as much as he liked, as often as he liked. Card games were harder, because a surprising number of the visitors frankly outclassed him, but he'd found a way to capitalise on that as well. He played high-risk, high-reward, meaning his victories were few but spectacular, and nobody came under the illusion that he was losing because he was incompetent rather than because this was all a highly-enjoyable sham.

Behind him, in a booth, Kadokura Ruri waited. He'd banked on her arriving early out of respect for her host (and social superior, though not as much now as a few days ago), but unfortunately, she'd not taken the opportunity to join in the gambling with him. Instead, she sat there, politely waiting for him and also studying him with clear blue eyes that seemed like they missed nothing. He extricated himself from the game as soon as he could.

He slipped into the seat opposite her. "I'm sorry for making you wait. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

"Not at all," Kadokura said, brushing back her hair as she straightened in her seat. "I came here prepared for games, Lord Gōketsu."

"No need for that," Hazō told her. "You and I are two of a handful of people who get to stand on the threshold between two worlds and influence them both. I'd say that makes us equals in a way Leaf politics can't encompass. Call me Hazō."

She considered for a second. "I'd like that."

Hazō opened his mouth to ask for permission to use her own name, but she cut in.

"But not just yet," she said lightly. "First names are a privilege for friends and lovers, and we've only just met. Something to look forward to."

The smile that followed her last few words made Hazō feel slightly dizzy. Right, seduction training. Mari had wasted no time making inroads with her Leaf counterparts, and had had no trouble recognising Kadokura's name and providing urgent warning. Kadokura wasn't a specialist the way Mari was, but had reached jōnin level by dipping her toes in many pools over the course of her career, meaning she got the most out of every natural talent rather than abandoning whatever didn't fit her primary path. Then Asuma must have decided to augment the generalist with a specialist's worth of firepower, resulting in something potentially terrifying.

Hazō considered flirting right back, but his brain gave him an immediate "ABORT ABORT ABORT" in bright red letters. He knew from painful experience with Ami that he was not (yet) equipped to play that game against seduction-trained jōnin of unknown intentions.

"Something to look forward to," he agreed neutrally. "For now, let me congratulate you. Only the best of the best get chosen to be summoner. The Hokage must think very highly of your abilities."

"I'd like to think so," Kadokura said. "Not that he exactly had the luxury of choice. But I appreciate the compliment. We're going to have an interesting time trying to catch up to the previous generation of summoners."

Like Jiraiya of the Three.

Hazō nodded sympathetically, keeping his more personal feelings from his face. "It's a massive victory for the KEI, and that's something I want to congratulate you on as well. You're all long overdue that kind of respect."

"I wonder," she said thoughtfully. "Can I speak plainly with you?"

"Always."

"It'll take more than this"—she waved in the direction of the gambling tables—"to win us over, Lord Gōketsu. A year ago, you'd have been a hero for spending your own clan money to help the clanless. The full third of Leaf would have been queuing up to become Gōketsu-lite. But we're not a year ago.

"No one condemns the people who come here to take your handouts. Every one of us has been in a position where we had to bend the neck or go hungry—that was what being clanless was—and there are far worse people to bend the neck to than you. But no one's under any illusions. If a clan's being generous, it's because it wants something, and what you want is to buy our loyalty. It's a good play, and frankly it tells you everything about the other clans that in seventy years not one of them has thought to try it.

"But we're not a year ago. We're not clanless; we're the Konoha Enlightenment Initiative. We're not scrounging for resources to survive; we're fighting to be recognised as equals. We know you're not trying to undermine the KEI—Ami has never let us forget that you were the first to speak up for us with the Shimura Law. But since then, we've lived in a world of campaigning to prove ourselves, and you've lived in a world of offering us charity. It's the act of a friend, but it's not the act of an equal."

Kadokura's assessment was biased, and not a little cynical, but it brought up points Hazō hadn't considered. The KEI were campaigning for freedom from clan control, while what Hazō was offering was informal clan adoption. He'd considered the two approaches complementary, but to Kadokura and those who thought like her, they could easily be exclusive. A clanless ninja could join the KEI and become a KEI ninja—which came with an ideology, mutual support, and the coordinators' informal leadership. Or they could join the Gōketsu—which came with a different ideology, top-down support, and Hazō's informal leadership. It was only a matter of time before some irreconcilable difference had turned up, though he'd never have imagined it to be the simple act of giving people things they wanted.

"You've given me some things to think about," he said after mulling it over. "But no matter how it comes across, I do consider the KEI ninja equals. I don't know how much you know about me, but for most of my life, I was effectively clanless myself. My mother sewed chūnin jackets for sale on the grey market."

"I know," Kadokura said.

"It never occurred to me to begin with that clanless ninja shouldn't deserve equal treatment," Hazō went on. "I think the KEI is vitally important, not just for Leaf, but as proof to the wider world of what clanless ninja can accomplish when given a chance to do so. I also think the Gōketsu are in a unique position as clans go. We have no traditions. We have no secret lore. We have no deep coffers passed down by our ancestors. We do have bloodlines, I'll admit, but they're random things whose higher secrets our birth clans never taught us. We're no Hyūga or Ino-Shika-Chō. That's something to bear in mind before you decide to lump us in with the clans that have always discriminated against you."

Kadokura gave him an amused look. "You have the fortune, sealing notes, and general fifty-year legacy of one of the greatest men in history. You have the same combat and diplomacy Bloodline Limit that got Kurosawa Ren chosen as the Mizukage, the summoner's dream Bloodline Limit with potential applications that make any halfway intelligent ninja drool, and Ami and Lady Keiko's powers speak for themselves. To say nothing of the bloodline Lord Kagome's hiding.

"The fact that you're not one of them doesn't mean you're one of us, Lord Gōketsu. That you can remember being clanless doesn't mean all that much when you're standing in the middle of your own compound, pouring out money like water while waiting for reports on a dozen world-changing projects nobody at these tables even has the education to imagine."

"My point," Hazō said doggedly, "is that we're on the same side. The Gōketsu aren't fighting to protect privilege that would be wiped out if more people started living decent lives. We're fighting for a world of genuine equality. If everyone is rich and powerful, then no one is—and the Gōketsu are OK with that, so long as that world of equality is also a world of happiness. If you want our credentials, don't look at what we own. Look at our goals, and whether we're working to fulfil them, because I assure you, we're giving them everything we've got."

Kadokura chuckled. "Don't get me wrong, Lord Gōketsu: a lot of us have high hopes for you. You're part of the wind of change that's sweeping Leaf after generations of stagnation. But so far, while the Hokage and the coordinators have been reshaping the fabric of society for the KEI, all you've been doing is creating dependants. You can do better. I personally believe that you will."

She rolled her shoulders as if releasing tension.

"I think that's enough of that, don't you? If you wanted to talk about the KEI, you'd have invited your sister, not me. Would you like to make your offer, Lord Gōketsu, or give it a little more time first?"

"My offer?" Hazō asked, not entirely surprised but curious about the reasoning.

She pointed at him. "Clan head." She pointed at herself. "New summoner. The timing isn't exactly subtle. It would be flattering to think you were interested in me for me before you even met me, but sadly, this is business. I don't think I have anything for you right now, Lord Gōketsu, so what is it you want to offer me?"

-o-​

"I'm in."

The decision came within seconds of Hazō finishing his explanation.

"As easily as that?" he asked.

She nodded, as if surprised at his surprise. "Large amounts of money for minimal effort, obvious benefits to Leaf, and another thing to take to the Condors so they don't peck out my liver during negotiations. What kind of lunatic would refuse?"

Hazō laughed. "Then let's hope I don't meet any lunatics, because I still have a few people to talk into this. I'll be in touch with more information as I get it."

"I'm sure you know where I live," Kadokura responded. "Since we're here, though, why don't you show me what you can really do?" She gestured towards the gambling tables.

"It would be my pleasure." And he was going to play as if his life depended on it, now he knew how Kadokura felt about his deliberate losing.

Kadokura took his hand, pulling him towards the most popular tables.

"I'm glad I did my research," she said off-handedly, turning back to him. "You're exactly how Ami said you would be."

-o-​

The Minami compound was a very different place when it wasn't in mourning. There was a sense of animation in the air, people bustling to and fro in the corridors, civilian servants scrambling to get out of his way as his host led him to a waiting room, and in one case a pair of children being pursued by what appeared to be a wrathful tutor with an enormous splodge of ink across his chest. For pre-teens competing with an adult ninja, they were leading him on quite the merry chase.

"Please, take a seat, Lord Gōketsu," Minami Aika invited him, waving over a servant to order tea. "My condolences with regard to your sister."

There were two ways to read that statement: one referring to the rumours flying around Leaf in the aftermath of the concubine laws vote, which had developed with curious speed and ranged from the unthinkingly bigoted to the outright vile, and another which risked getting him angry enough to make this meeting difficult. He decided, for now, not to ask for clarification.

"Thank you for agreeing to see me," Hazō said instead. "My congratulations on the Porcupine Scroll. Your cousin died saving my life, and I've been trying to repay that debt ever since. It's a joy to hear that the scroll we brought ended up in your hands."

"You've done Leaf a great service," Minami said. "More, I suspect, than you know. My aunt also speaks highly of you. She asked me to remind you that you are welcome to visit her for tea at your convenience."

"I'm happy to hear that," Hazō said honestly. "I hope the invitation I'm bringing today will be another small step towards paying back what you've already given. How have you been finding the Porcupines?"

Minami gave a small smile. "Rambunctious. Their leader, Yamaraja, has me playing with their young. It is a trial of both patience and agility, since their quills are already alarmingly sharp, but they do not yet have an adult's control. It is, of course, also a sign of trust, so I am optimistic about my chances of acceptance.

"They are also," she added quietly, "impossibly cute."

"I've been working on transportation systems for puppies," Hazō said. "I don't know if that's better or worse."

"Indeed," Minami said after a second's thought. "Have yours offered you their traditional cuisine yet?"

Hazō shook his head. "But they're Dogs, so presumably it'll just be some kind of meat."

The servant finally returned with two cups of tea, as well as a selection of cookies, and, curiously, a blank scroll and writing implements. He bowed to Minami, then to him, before placing the tray on the table and beating a hasty retreat.

Hazō eyed the cookies curiously.

"Aunt Karen made inquiries about your tea preferences," Minami said. "As to the Dogs, I can only urge caution. The Porcupine old-style herb salad is a thing of unfathomable terror."

"I'll bear it in mind."

Hazō tried a cookie. It was honey-flavoured, and a little too sweet.

"Please write your impressions on the scroll there, in as much detail as you can. Some people prefer a numerical score, but I tend to find them hard to interpret."

"I'm sorry?"

"My aunt asked me to find out how you liked your cookies," Minami said matter-of-factly. "I believe that anything worth doing is worth doing properly."

"You know, Minami," Hazō said with his most genuine smile of the day, "I think we may be of a like mind. Are you familiar with the concept of a post-interaction survey?"

-o-​

"…haven't got back to me with their projections yet, but Shikamaru is optimistic, so I'm expecting good news. What do you think, Minami?"

Minami's expression shut down completely, like an iron wall uncompromisingly repelling Hazō's goodwill.

"As a shinobi of the Minami Clan, I am unable to accept your offer."

"I don't think I understand," Hazō said cautiously. "This plan doesn't affect your clan directly, but even as far as it does, it just means getting you more money and influence. What's the problem?"

Minami stared at him. Slowly, her expression softened. "Forgive me. I realise you meant no offence. Tell me, Lord Gōketsu, how familiar are you with the history of my clan?"

Hazō had a sense that wording was important here, and therefore it was safest to say less rather than more. "I know that your founders were Hyūga with a different Bloodline Limit, and your clans were at war before the Hokage gave you official recognition and stopped the Hyūga from attacking you."

"You are not incorrect," Minami said, "much in the way as describing a summoning scroll as ink on parchment is not incorrect."

"Then could you enlighten me?" Hazō asked.

Minami took a slow, deep breath in. "Our ancestors were the children of a particular set of siblings within the main family. When every one of them failed to develop the Byakugan at the appropriate age, they were naturally deemed defective. They were treated almost like civilians"—she spat the word—"and shunted off into the side family, tolerated only because they still had the blood and so their children might be proper Hyūga again.

"But they weren't defective," she said, her voice strengthening. "They were superior. They had a new bloodline, bestowed by the Will of Fire to meet this new age with its greater challenges. The Hyūga, of course, could never accept that, so when the children began to manifest new powers, the Hyūga declared them tainted, contaminated by the venom of the Chaos Snake that dwelled in the north-west where the clan originated. That alone made their lie obvious—the Will of Fire protects us all from the caprice of the kami. That is why, after Leaf was founded, there was no more need to worship or placate them.

"Do you know what they did, Lord Gōketsu, after they concocted that excuse?"

"They drove the children out," Hazō said.

"The children escaped," Minami corrected. "Their parents weren't willing to see them culled, and fought back. Not all of them survived. After that, the Hyūga hunted us. Like animals. We weren't even a threat to them—nobody could extract clan secrets that we didn't have. They hunted us, and we fought, and we were nearly wiped from this world.

"Tell me, have you ever heard of Sōdai?"

"The Minami Bloodline Limit is called Sōdai's Prism, isn't it?" Hazō asked.

"Sōdai was the clan's hero. He'd been refused apprenticeship by Orochimaru over ethical differences, but it had only made him more determined to unlock the mysteries of the human body for the good of Leaf. When the purge began, Sōdai abandoned all of his projects in favour of research on our Bloodline Limit. He was the one who gave us the power to fight back. He also worked with… well, that's not relevant here.

"He didn't have the temperament to be a leader, and the second oldest, Hanae, had died taking a stand against ten Hyūga assassins after they discovered our underground hideout. But the second daughter, Yūna, took charge and persuaded the Hokage that we were worth more to him than the continued goodwill of the Hyūga. Yūna named us the Minami, after the first generation's grandmother who had decided to stay and intercede on their behalf instead of fleeing, and who died a martyr's death as the 'source' of the 'cursed blood'.

"Lord Gōketsu, the Hyūga never withdrew their declaration of war. We have never stopped being at war, except insofar as the Hokage promised consequences if either of us tested his tolerance too far. His death was a catastrophe for the Minami, and you would sleep better not knowing what was happening in the shadows of Leaf during the Chūnin Exams. When the Sixth came to power, we feared the end of the clan, and praised the Will of Fire when he died without ever having had the time to pursue the vendetta to its logical conclusion. It is only now the Hyūga are weaker than ever, and the Seventh has tacitly renewed our covenant with the gift of the scroll, that we can breathe easy again.

"With all that in mind, how willing do you think I am to take the hand of Hyūga Neji, cousin to the clan head, the degenerate who tried to corrupt my own innocent cousin, for the sake of personal enrichment?"

"I'm sorry, what?" Hazō choked.

"What part of what I said is at all surprising?" Minami asked. "You should know the Hyūga as well as I."

"No, the cousin thing. What are you talking about?"

"The piece of filth tried to get his claws into Nikkō's sister, Minori, before she was even out of the Academy," Minami hissed. "He had his cousin Hanabi lure her in with pretences of friendship so they could play some kind of twisted 'roleplaying game' together. I don't want to imagine what might have happened if she hadn't mentioned it to one of the older children, who went straight to Aunt Karen."



Hyūga. Roleplaying games. Hyūga.



No, he had to focus. Maybe this situation was salvageable.

"Minami," he said, "a roleplaying game is a perfectly innocent hobby for all ages. My family plays them all the time, often with friends from other clans."

He could see Minami pause to update, frowning slightly.

"It doesn't matter," she decided. "Tell me, Lord Gōketsu, would you play a roleplaying game with Akatsuki?"

If he thought it wouldn't get him killed, brainwashed, or executed? In a heartbeat.

There was almost certainly something wrong with Gōketsu Hazō.

"Exactly," Minami said with the air of a woman making an incontrovertible argument. "He is the kind of man who preys on innocent children in order to strike at his enemies. It doesn't matter if the tools he uses are wholesome or not.

"Let me amend my statement, Lord Gōketsu. As a shinobi of the Minami Clan, I will gladly participate in your project—if Hyūga Neji does not."

-o-
You have received 3 + 1 + 1 = 5 XP and 1 FP.

Fun-to-write bonus included.

-o-
Asuma has been informed of Sadaharu's disappearance, and is preparing to field angry inquiries from the Mizukage about Leaf's failure to secure its part of the route between the two villages. He anticipates demands of reparations on behalf of the Wakahisa, which he has no particular interest in granting.

The basic construction work for the koi pond will be done soon, but you really need a Wakahisa expert. For obvious reasons, it's a highly specialised job which Noburi, a disfavoured genin, knew precious little about. Wataru is dragging his feet, as he is clearly terrified of making a mistake which will kill off the entire school before a new expert can arrive, for which he will then be held personally responsible by both clans.

The rest of the plan has yet to be implemented.

-o-
What do you do?
Voting ends on Saturday 22nd of August, 9 a.m. New York Time.
 
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Chapter 367: Fixing Stupid

Hazō considered Minami's words carefully. Emotions flickered past—annoyance at people's stupid unwillingness to cooperate, sympathy for the harsh treatment of the Minami, irritation with the Hyūga's blood-purist arrogance that complicated everything, more annoyance at people's stupid unwillingness to cooperate. He forced himself to set all of that aside.

"Let's be clear," he said at last, "the Hyūga are no friends of the Gōketsu. We believe in the Will of Fire and have done everything we can to model it—more than many clans, in my opinion. Despite that, Hyūga Hiashi still considered us traitors. Moreover, he schemed to take power from Jiraiya, including using back-alley deals and political tricks to take the Hokage's hat.

"Despite all of Hyūga's arrogance and obstructionism, Jiraiya never seriously moved against him. Not in his role as Hokage and not via his own personal strength either. He could have killed Hyūga anytime he felt like it"—a smile flickered across his face as he remembered that fraught conversation the night the clan was formed—"but he didn't. That would have been against the Will of Fire. Yes, he colluded with your clan to use economic leverage against theirs, but as I understand it that's simply how the game is played. Jiraiya showed restraint when he didn't have to. Why? Because Jiraiya cared deeply about the greater good of Leaf, and he recognized that such actions, when Leaf was already reeling from its losses, would be catastrophic for our survival."

He paused, locking eyes with Minami and projecting as much seriousness as he could. "I intend to follow in Jiraiya's footsteps." The Iron Nerve flickered an impish grin across his face. "Well, actually I intend to get out in front of his footsteps and blaze new trails of legend and glory. For now, however, I intend to follow. I will work for Leaf, not just for the Gōketsu. Part of that means following what I think Jiraiya would have done had he had more time. Once Leaf was safe, he would have acted. Acted to protect the Minami, to put an end to the arrogance of the Hyūga and guide them out of being an arrogant pack of asshole nobles who consider themselves above our city and into being more an actual part of it. He would have tried to convince them that they should work whole-heartedly to Leaf's betterment. The most important part of that would have been finding the right time to strike.

"That's what I intend to do. Continue to model the Will of Fire, continue to work for the success of Leaf and a future where all its citizens are united and happy...and also work to create the proper moment to strike down an enemy who believes us to be a non-threat."

"'Enemy'? 'Strike down'?" Minami said, raising an eyebrow. "Strong words for someone who talks about modeling the Will of Fire more than anyone else, and also invites their so-called enemy's Clan Head to play board games."

Hazō shrugged. "I don't see Hinata as my enemy. I see the Hyūga arrogance and focus on their own purity and superiority as the enemy. They need to be disabused of those ideas."

She snorted. "I wish you the best with that. I'd sooner ask a pig not to eat truffles. It's easier to train pigs."

"I think it's possible. Hinata is too young and has too many close friends in our age group to have fully absorbed her family's attitude. Most—all? I'm not sure—anyway, at least some of the Hyūga elders were killed in the Collapse, meaning that they won't be whispering hatred and isolation in her ears. If we, the Minami and the Gōketsu and the rest of Leaf, offer her better alternatives then I think she'll take them."

"She's a Hyūga," Minami said flatly. "She absorbed their vile nature with her mother's milk. She isn't going to change her attitude and a leopard isn't going to eat salad."

"Humor me for a moment. Let's assume, hypothetically, that the Gōketsu were going to strike at the Hyūga. There are three ways we could do it.

"There's my uncle's way: Explosives, death, destruction. Burn everything to the ground. That's a great choice out in the wild but a terrible choice here in Leaf. I'm confident that we could destroy the Hyūga if we wanted to...the Gōketsu have three Summoners, two sealmasters, more explosives than we know what to do with, and some remarkably thorough experience with destruction. We could do it, but it would be a terrible idea. The Hyūga aren't as strong as they think they are—not even the Sage could be that strong—but they are strong. The Gōketsu and our allies would be massively weakened, perhaps even eliminated. Even if we weren't, the battle would shatter Leaf. One clan actually attacking another? It would be against everything the nation stands for. No, that's not an option unless we get pushed to the absolute limit.

"There's Mari's way: Smile and nod and work from the shadows without ever being seen. Take over the Hyūga's sources of revenue, Seventh Path and Human Path alike, turn their allies against them with blackmail or whispers of treason. Steal their secrets. Cause 'accidental' fires that destroy their properties. Drug their food and water to make them sick and debilitated. Leave them destitute and homeless, begging for protection from anyone who will provide it." He caught her amused expression and smiled grimly. "You laugh. Don't. Mari is very good at what she does and, as you mentioned, we have Jiraiya's legacy of seals." He left that one carefully non-specific. There was nothing he knew of in Jiraiya's collection that would be specifically useful for the sort of things he was describing, but the sheer vagueness of it would leave Minami's imagination plenty of room.

"Back in Mist, the Mori did that to the Kobayakawa. It's effective, and would not harm Leaf as badly as Kagome-sensei's path...still, the Hyūga are ninja of Leaf and so it would still harm Leaf to a degree. That's the last thing I want. I want to uplift Leaf and the Land of Fire, not tear them down.

"Finally, there's my way: Turn Neji. Turn Hinata. Surround Neji with teammates and partners that he must work with and who can make him see our point of view. Forge political bonds and trade deals with Hinata so that her clan's interests become entangled with those of the Gōketsu and she has to listen to us and cede ground to us. If I can get her to make one concession one time I can leverage that into her making more concessions. I can show her that the outcome of those concessions was better because we did it the Gōketsu collaborative way instead of the Hyūga isolationist way. And I give her a chance to learn that lesson again. And again. And again. She's a smart woman. She will eventually come to see things my way, to choose the path that I would choose because she agrees that it's better.

"There's a saying in Mist: 'The most thorough destruction of your foe is to make him your friend.' The goal is to make them not-Hyuga, make them into something new that retains what makes them strong but cuts out the cruelty and arrogance." He shrugged and spread his hands. "To be honest, the Gōketsu are already working on it. We're trying to prevent those antiquated, xenophobic views from spreading to the new generation. One avenue we're using is Keiko's relationship with Lady Hanabi. I don't entirely understand that relationship and I freely admit that what I do understand worries me, but Keiko believes in my Way and I think she'll pass those views on to Hanabi."

"You intend to transform the fundamental character of an entire clan...by manipulating a child?"

Hazō chuckled. "Not just that, but it's a start. Hanabi and Hinata are close. Keiko's words are going to end up in Hinata's ears, but they'll be coming from a trusted source, a Hyūga source. Likewise, Neji. He and Noburi bicker like an old married couple and, honestly, I think they both like it. If Neji didn't like it, why does he keep showing up to games night?"

"Perhaps because his Clan Head orders it? It's an easy way for her to maintain political connections with a new clan that everyone is still uncertain about, while not visibly tying herself to you."

"She comes to the games nights as well." He hesitated for a moment but then his sense of honesty forced him to add, "Sometimes. Not every time. Still, she does come."

"When she comes, does she spend most of her time in conversation with her peers, the other teenage Clan Heads?"

Hazō frowned, flicking back through his memories of the last few months. "I guess? That's not surprising. She grew up with them, they're all her friends. And we're all there to spend time together over the gaming table...."

"So. She sometimes but not always comes to a social event where she is not required to do anything political with you and at this event she spends much of her time socializing with her friends and peers. Thereby demonstrating how reasonable she is, how willingly she will work with the new clan, and maintaining close ties to the other Clan Heads without committing herself to anything."

"No, that's not— I mean, she...look, it's intended as a social event, not a political one."

"Everything is politics for Clan Heads, especially those who sit on the Council. Every word, every gesture, every work of art on the wall, every invitation given or taken. It all frames you for the rest of Leaf and sets their expectations of you. It worries me that you don't know this."

Hazō started to respond hotly, then forced himself to stop and take a breath. Inhale calm and peace, exhale stress and panic, said the long-gone voice of Mari-sensei. He went through the cycle twice, then focused on relaxing the muscles in his cheeks and shoulders.

"Clumsy," Minami noted, her voice clinical. "It's good that you can manage your anger but you need to be less obvious about it. A good strategy is to pause for a sip of tea while you do that. It covers your face and if you drink the right tea the scent will help with relaxation."

"Thank you. I wasn't angry so much as...frustrated, I guess is the word." He paused, taking a sip of his long-since-cooled tea to give himself a moment to think. Minami gave an amused smile at his immediate adoption of her advice.

"The key point is this: I want Leaf to prosper. I want the Land of Fire to prosper. The only way to do that is for its people to cooperate. That is why Leaf is so powerful: We cooperate better than the other villages. Indeed, they only exist because we started cooperating and they had to follow us or be destroyed."

"With respect, Lord Gōketsu...'we'?" She quirked her lips in amusement, the words balancing between friendly teasing and actual mockery.

"Yes. We. I am Gōketsu Hazō, adopted son of Jiraiya of the Three, Fifth Hokage. I co-invented the skywalkers that were essential to the defeat of Akatsuki. I sheltered hundreds of Leaf's people and dozens of her ninja after the Collapse. I have every right to claim Leaf as my home and myself as one of its people." He met her eyes as he spoke, and his own were cold.

She raised a hand in mute apology. "Fair. Apologies."

He nodded acknowledgement. "Regardless. The secret of Leaf's success is that her people cooperate. The problem, in my opinion, is that we don't do it enough. Everyone hoarded their knowledge until Asuma's contest, but once he got us to share we all became stronger. The Great Clans have their walled compounds where they stay isolated from the people; I have to think that it makes them feel isolated, feel like they are less a part of the city and more temporary visitors."

"With respect, I'll note that your estate is literally isolated from the entire city by virtue of being outside it."

He chuckled. "Not by my preference. We had an estate inside the walls but Orochimaru returned and yanked it out from under us. We had to find a new place within a few days and there wasn't a lot of empty land to choose from. This place was the best we could do." He looked around the room, imagining that his eyes could pierce the walls and the city blocks beyond to see the expanse of the Gōketsu land. "I like to think we've done well with it. Regardless, we encourage our people to visit the city and we regularly have people from the city visit us. We're doing our best to balance safety—which means walls—with a sense of identity as Leaf citizens.

"We're getting a bit far afield. My point was that the people of Leaf are strong in exactly the same degree that we work together. The Hyūga are, frankly, a problem. Their arrogance and isolation makes it hard to work with them and drives wedges through Leaf as a whole. I'm not going to attack them, I'm not going to try to undermine their livelihood, but I am going to do what I can to change their culture. Part of that means that I need to get connections with them that can be used as leverage, and as pathways for my ideas to reach them."

"Which brings us back to the trade network."

"Which brings us back to the trade network. I wish I had been more aware of the Minami/Hyūga split. I knew about it in a general sense, but I wasn't familiar enough that it was at the forefront of my mind, and I apologize for that. If it had been, maybe I could have done things differently. As it stands I approached Neji first because I knew him better, and he agreed to participate. I'm not comfortable uninviting him, both because I don't think it would be honorable and because it would give them an insult that would make it harder for me to reshape their culture into something a little less...." He paused, grappling for the right words, and finally shrugged. "If I'm being honest, a little less stupid. Nara Shikaku once told Hyūga Hiashi that the Hyūga arrogance had cost them about ten percent of the income they could have earned over the last decade. He offered to help them fix that problem; I don't know if Lord Hyūga ever took him up on it before Lord Nara died fighting beside Jiraiya.

"In any case. Neji is going to be one of the Summoners in our network, at least for the foreseeable future. If he causes too many problems or interferes with trade too much then maybe we uninvite him, but for now he's going to be there. I would like it very much if you would participate as well. I'm willing to do whatever I can to make it work—the two of you would never have to speak to each other or even be in the same room. You don't have to allow trade directly from the Porcupine to the Turtles if you don't want, although that's up to you and Yamaraja.

"As the Minami Clan's Summoner, you are a keystone—perhaps the keystone—to making the Hyuga realize how stupid they're being and exactly how much they're giving up by clinging to this attitude. I'm not saying that I can't fix their problem without your help, but it would be a lot easier if you were there. The Minami are probably the Hyūga's single biggest mistake." He shook his head, lips pursed in frustration. "Can you imagine how much stronger they would have been if they had honored Sōdai instead of throwing a tantrum because your ancestors didn't match some set-in-stone idea of what perfection looked like? Idiots! Why—" He cut himself off. "Sorry. I have no right to lose my temper when you manage to keep yours."

"I've had rather a lot more practice."

Hazō laughed. "I suppose. Anyway, going back to my earlier thought: The Hyūga are broken, and I want to fix them. I think there's a good chance of doing that, since Hinata is in charge, there are few if any elders putting stupid and poisonous ideas in her head, and the Gōketsu have several ways to help her see that better behavior has better outcomes. I understand you have grievances with them—very justified grievances!—but I'm hoping that you agree with me that helping the Hyūga get over themselves is a better way to avenge those grievances than constantly being at knifepoint with them. Better for you, better for Leaf, and more according to the Will of Fire. If you're willing and able to do that, it would be wonderful. If you believe that it wouldn't be safe because you can't trust the Hyūga, or whatever other reason might exist, I'll understand. The Gōketsu will still work to fix the problem, and if you ever change your mind and want to join us then you'll be more than welcome."

He stood up. "You don't have to answer now, but think about it. There's no hurry. Take a few days, or even weeks, that's totally fine. I may have to travel for a few days sometime in the next couple weeks, but aside from that I'll be available to you. In the meantime, I hope you'll come to the next games night. Hinata and Neji will be invited but even if they come, you don't have to interact with them at all. It will give you a chance to see what I mean about cooperation and being able to model better behavior for them."

Minami pursed her lips for a moment. "I'll consider it."

"Excellent. We haven't chosen a date, but I'll be sure you get an invite. Now, if you'll excuse me, I should head home."

"Of course." She rose and escorted him out.





FP AWARD: +2 (general refresh)

XP AWARD: 2

Brevity XP: 0 (406 words)

"GM had fun" XP: 1


It is now about 8pm.

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, August 26, 2020, at 12pm London time.
 
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Chapter 368: Dodging the Question

"I play The Fallen Cherub Screams," Hazō said, placing down the card with a weight and finality fit to punish Ami's overwhelming hubris. One could only push one's luck so far. "Your Exterminator is now at the end of a doomed timeline. I'm removing it from the board."

"The Exterminator uses Emergency Temporal Shift as a reaction to retreat to the last branching point," Ami said as if it was obvious.

Hazō smirked, though Ami, of course, couldn't see it. "Oh, no, you don't. I sealed off the past with Timequake"—he glanced at the Continuity Stack—"three years ago."

"Interrupt by Player Three, third card from the left," Ami said. "True Love's Kiss: automatically escape from any sealed space, then remove this card from the game."

It said ever so much about Ami that she would go to the mental effort of memorising the state of the board and the contents of her hands (in sequence) in order to avoid going to the physical effort of getting up. As Hazō pondered his options, she lay on her back, gazing in fascination at the rain streaming down the frozen air above them.

"You really want to blow True Love's Kiss on saving an Exterminator?" Hazō asked. To him, using a trump card to save a horde-grade minion was like using a pre-village era painting as kindling. He didn't like the implications.

"It was only ever an illusion anyway," Ami said dreamily. "You know, a target on one of my Hot Springs infiltrations once tried to woo me with a scroll of Lightning Country fairy tales—an unexpurgated edition, of the kind forbidden for export. There was a story about a sage living in a castle made of glass hidden on the peak of the highest mountain. I always wondered why someone would build something that tempted fate so much."

The flow of the conversation had reached the right point, Hazō judged.

"Hey, Ami. Can I ask you a question?"

"People often do," Ami agreed. "What can I do to make you love me, Ami? Why are you still alive when my husband is dead, Ami? Why is everything on fire, Ami?"

"My question for you is this," Hazō said. "If you could have anything you want, but you don't know what you want, what do you take?"

"Everything," Ami said without hesitation. "How could there possibly be any other answer?"

Uninformative but fair, Hazō reflected. Thinking about it, he'd be very disappointed in the kind of person who, when told they could have anything they wanted, kept their ambitions narrow.

"Player Five's turn," Ami said. "I play the first card from the left on your Primal Progenitor in the underground layer. Lance of Lengthiness: target cannot move or use abilities while this artefact is in play."

Hazō silently cursed. Player Two did have Deva Invasion in his hand, but he was saving that as an offensive move for when he could tie down her Chakra Golem Guardians. That meant letting her have free run of the underground layer, and if she'd already drawn the Drill Pendant…

Ami bounced to her feet, a foolhardy action given she was fairly tall and air domes traditionally weren't. "Feeling hungry yet, Hazō?"

The Yabai Café's finest creation sat on a low table off to the side. It looked like an ordinary apple strudel. It smelled like an ordinary apple strudel. It sounded like an ordinary apple strudel (which is to say it didn't make any sound whatsoever, something one couldn't take for granted with Yabai Café food). It was terrifying. Hazō would have called it a lie if you told him a mere foodstuff could have a jōnin aura, but it was a fact that his hand started shaking in anticipation of certain death when he so much as thought of reaching out for it. After an initial back-and-forth (no, the guest should have the honour of the first bite; no, the person who bought it should have the honour of the first bite; no, the girl should have the honour of the first bite; oh, so this is a date then, Hazō?; etc.), they had decided that the first bite would be a consolation prize for the last player out. It had brought true passion to their battle of wits.

"Player Six's turn," Hazō said. "I play Chaos Brand on Player Seven: roll the dice to assign the target of your next card randomly. Since we're above the treeline, I can play it according to sky rules, meaning you take no damage, but you also don't get to roll for resistance." And that made a time element ability, followed by a space element artefact, followed by a mirage element art. He could cash in that partial combo now, or if he could manoeuvre Ami into completing the full set without her noticing…

Best to keep the conversation going, then, before she had a chance to analyse the board.

"I've been worried about Keiko lately," he began.

"You and everyone else," Ami said. "There's only so much of this a sane person can take. We've got the Yamanaka on board now, but the Ino-Shika-Chō have weirdly little experience manipulating public opinion on a village scale, and I don't know how much time we have. Keiko's been doing a lot of mental training recently for Snowflake's benefit, so that helps, but there's only so much you can insulate someone in her position from the outside world. Trust me, you do not want to see a Mori snap. I don't suppose you'd consider committing some more treason to take attention off her? Pretty please?"

"I only commit treason on my own schedule," Hazō said. "Which is to say never, because I am a loyal Leaf ninja, and the very idea is insulting."

Ami sighed. "That's how it goes. A lifetime of loyal service, then you cross one teeny little line, and suddenly your local tinpot dictator's telling you your life hangs by a thread."

"That bad?" Hazō asked sympathetically.

Summer disappeared. The air dome turned to ice, jagged and black with hatred. The rain itself froze in place where it touched the surface.

"Who in the Abyss is she to look down on me?" Ami hissed. "A woman who only became clan head by selling out her own sister. A warrior who's not strong enough to protect the village and a diplomat who throws away what could have been her second strongest ally in the world. A figurehead who got the hat handed to her by the clans without ever having to lift a finger. A jōnin in her forties, and what does she have to show for it? What does she have to hold up against what I've accomplished at nineteen? Why does someone who's paid as much as I have for genius have to plead for her life before mediocrity?"

The cold disappeared as abruptly as it came.

"This is my life now," Ami said. "But more importantly, you were talking about Keiko."

"I was." Hazō resisted the temptation to rub some warmth back into his limbs. The chill was just a product of his imagination, after all… right?

"I think one of the pressures on Keiko right now is that her loyalties are being stretched three ways. She's a Gōketsu first and foremost, but she's also a Nara. There are tensions there, since while we're technically allies, the Nara aren't exactly on the closest of terms with us for completely arbitrary and unimportant reasons. But she's also a KEI coordinator, which is a separate set of responsibilities that risks conflicting with the other two. That sounds like a nightmare to juggle."

Ami shrugged. "That's what happens when you have loyalties."

"It's also something only you can help with," Hazō went on. "I have a strong suspicion that two of those three, at least, have goals that are flexible enough, and compatible enough, that we could get rid of a lot of the friction by putting them in the open. But since you're the only one who knows what your objective for the KEI is, you're the only one who can make it happen. I realise you enjoy being unpredictable, and maybe sacrificing some of that would reduce your advantage, but would you consider doing it anyway? For Keiko?"

"What are you really asking, Hazō?" Ami asked after a second. "I am not the KEI. The KEI is not me. That would be a rookie mistake. If you're asking me, then I think what you're really asking is whether my goals are compatible with your Uplift."

"And supposing I were?"

"It's a sweet, naïve idea," Ami said. "Changing the world to change humanity. The First Hokage tried that—united the clans to stop them warring against each other; introduced the village system. Clan vendettas became economic rather than military, and in exchange he invented the concept of world war. Making the in-group bigger didn't get rid of it—it just amplified its need for enemies. I think your efforts are doomed to fail, and they're doomed to fail in a way that unleashes chaos on a scale Senju Hashirama couldn't imagine."

"Does that mean our goals are incompatible?"

Ami gave him a look. "Viability aside, you're one of the very few agents trying to stop humanity from destroying itself. What am I, an idiot?"

Hazō smiled.

"I don't think you're an idiot. But I can't help noticing you've also avoided telling me what you want. So I'm going to share my theory with you. I don't think you want anything in particular. I think you're shooting for the stars because the alternative is standing still, and standing still is death. Neither of us could imagine it. But your only actual priorities are freedom and power—"

"And fun," Ami interjected.

"So if you can secure those, you'll be able to do whatever it is you want, whenever you figure out what that is. Until then, you're trying to stay dissociated from everything, to be numb to love and hate, because the alternative is being stuck with attachments. How does that sound?"

Ami gave a delighted laugh. "Oh, Hazō. Every time I think you're getting predictable"—her gaze took in the rooftop platform, the air dome, the Game of Games board with its dozen different types of tokens, and the Yabai Café cake, with its purple swirling aura of doom slowly expanding as the game drew closer to its end—"you come out with something like that to surprise me. I knew there was a reason I came here instead of Sand."

Yes. Her name was Keiko. Some things about Ami were deep and impenetrable mysteries, but that was not one of them.

"If that's true," Hazō said, "I can work with it. I'm Keiko's family and head of the Gōketsu, and neither of those are likely to change anytime soon, so at the very least, you shouldn't have any reason to work against me."

Ami didn't say anything, and went back to studying the rain streaming down the air dome.

"No, they aren't, are they?" she asked quietly.

"Ami?"

"Player Seven's turn. I spend four red mana to play Berserker's Joy on the Blazing Demon, unleashing its Almighty Conflagration form. That puts its damage value over the airship's structural integrity score. The airship board and all minions on it are permanently removed from play."

"Ami," Hazō repeated, hiding his satisfaction at the fact that she'd taken the bait and sacrificed one of her strongest pieces in exchange for an expendable rag-tag strike team. "What are you thinking?"

"None of this was supposed to happen," Ami said after a pause. "I figured at most, Keiko might eventually get a nice boyfriend, whom I'd break and reshape into a worthy husband. She wasn't supposed to get siblings. How would that even happen?"

"But it did."

"It's my own fault," Ami said. "I made light of the transitive property."

Hazō took a moment to remember what one of those was, then another to soak in the implications.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"I don't know what I'm saying," Ami said. "Forget it. It's your turn."

The idea coalesced, bit by bit, inside Hazō. It was alien, and a little frightening, and simultaneously so obvious that he wondered how it had taken so long. It was also dangerous, in ways he couldn't quite put his finger on, and there was a strong case for burying it again and pretending he'd never thought of it. Some things could never be taken back. Assuming he'd read her correctly in the first place, and wasn't about to make an absolute fool of himself.

"Ami," he said carefully, looking into her eyes, "would you like to be family?"

"Hazō," she said equally carefully, "I have no idea what that means."

"What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I say," Ami said. "Insofar as Ken and Yuri disqualified themselves from the label, and insofar as I have never required close emotional bonds other than with Keiko, and certainly no acceptable candidates were forthcoming, it is a term ungrounded in personal experience. I have never required family; in fact, I would have strongly preferred the absence of same. Unfortunately, I was not consulted at the stage when you made yourself my adopted brother, and to the extent that the bond is real enough for Keiko, such that even the most critical errors on your part have failed to break it, that is not among my options."

"Player Eight's turn," Hazō said, buying himself time to think. "I play Grasping Hand on the aquatic layer. Your Psychic Acrobat has 0 defence against water element attacks and drowns immediately."

"Player One's turn," Ami said. "Say, you're looking a little peaky there, Player Three.

"No, no, I'm fine," Ami insisted. "I've totally got this.

"Oh, really?" Ami asked. "I can't help noticing you're on only 5 HP after Hazō's Salt Burial got you last round. Why, if I hadn't played Emergency Retcon as an interrupt, you wouldn't even be here right now.

"I just didn't have the cards, I swear, Player One! I can still make a comeback!

"Hmm. What say you, Player Five?

"Clearly, Player Three has failed us. You must not.

"Hear, hear! There's no room for failure in the Cosmic Empire of Ami!

"Uh, yes, thank you, Player Seven. That's that, then. I play Invisible Seventh Child onto the mythical layer and immediately use its Steal Breath ability. Player Three takes 5 damage. Since that was her final breath, I get another turn."

Oh. Oh, no.

"I play the Eldritch Octopus onto the surface layer, and advance the Doom Track by one. Despite the name, the Eldritch Octopus is an earth element creature… so that's a full sequence of seven elements and seven effect types. I take a card from the greater artefact deck."

Hazō steeled himself for the horrors about to come his way.

"Oh," she added at the last second, "I also play Mists of Preservation to take the card face down. Something for you to look forward to."

Hazō shuddered and decided to put off the inevitable in favour of more significant concerns.

"But about what you were saying—"

"Hey, was that a flash of light? Hazō, exactly how well-protected is this thing against a direct lightning strike?"

"I… don't know," Hazō admitted. "I doubt anyone's ever done anything like this before. Maybe we should get down."

Ami nodded. "Guess I'll be using this now, then." She pulled out the artefact card. "False Goddess of the Bells: erase any one entity from the timeline. I choose the Cosmic Empire of Ami."

"You do what?"

"Per the rules, Players One, Three, Five, and Seven are defined as a single joint entity for the purpose of cards targeting allies. That joint entity has now never existed. Players Two, Four, Six, and Eight, enjoy fighting over who gets to eat the cake."

-o-
You have received 4 + 1 - 1 = 4 XP.

Bonus fun-to-write XP included.

-o-
What do you do?

Voting ends on Saturday 29th of August, 9 a.m. New York time.
 
Chapter 369: A Selfish Happiness

Hazō sat with Akane on the treetop platform and completely failed to take in the beauty of the sunrise as it slowly dispelled the darkness covering the forest. His attention was firmly elsewhere.

Back in Mist, sometimes his mother would clear her schedule, such as it was, the day before a mission and spend it all with him. Not every mission, in retrospect less than half, but enough for it to feel like a tradition. It was only later, during a campfire conversation with the rest of Team Uplift back in their wilderness days, that he'd learned it wasn't a tradition unique to the Kurosawa family. Many ninja in Mist set aside a day to spend with their loved ones before a B- or A-rank mission from which they thought they might not be coming back.

Hazō's situation wasn't that dire. The old mine was a valuable asset waiting to be exploited, but not one worth realistically risking his life for (or, more importantly, his family's). Still, he'd be dealing with chakra beasts. Enemy ninja could, in theory, be predicted—there were myriad unimaginable ninjutsu, but the ways they were used were severely restricted by training and imagination. Melee or ranged offence, defensive barriers, misdirection, area denial… In truth, for a chūnin, Hazō wasn't that experienced at fighting other ninja—he'd gone from a geninhood of menial labour, to a survivalist lifestyle of avoiding combat whenever possible, to a life of peace behind high walls, where actual missions were the exception rather than the norm—but on the other hand, he had confidence in his pattern-matching ability, and he knew that the battle was halfway won the moment you figured out the enemy's tactics and objectives.

Chakra beasts were not ninja, and did not think like ninja. They didn't care about area denial or setting up combos or tricking the enemy into revealing his trump card too early. With every chakra beast, it seemed like the kami who created the world (assuming Gamasēji was wrong about it being the Sage) had taken some dice and rolled on the random encounter table until they got bored, then squished all the monsters they'd ended up with into a single ravenous abomination with powers that made no sense and could only be predicted by examining remains (if any) and listening to the stories of traumatised survivors (if any). Indeed, part of the terror of the "black hunter" had been that nobody knew anything about it. People who went too deep into the forest simply… disappeared.

Whatever now dwelled inside the mine wouldn't be a serious threat to a team with as much power and versatility as theirs. Probably. Maybe. But just in case, Hazō decided to take a leaf out of Mum's book and make sure he headed out with no regrets.

"I'm ready to talk," he said. "I'm sorry it's taken so long."

Akane shook her head. "I told you I was prepared to wait."

"And you have," he said, "and I appreciate it. Still, I should have got to it sooner. The truth is, Akane…" he hesitated, "I'm scared. Last time, I messed up so badly I lost you as a girlfriend. If I'd done worse, I could have lost you as a friend. When I think about stepping into territory where I have the potential to hurt you that much, part of me just freezes up. I want… more than this, but I also don't. Do you understand?"

"You messed up pretty badly," Akane agreed, "but you're wrong about one thing. You could never have lost me as a friend. You can't. I'm not someone who turns her back on people. Just doing what I did back then, making distance between us, was already one of the hardest things I'd ever done. You can't stop me from loving you, Hazō. Real love doesn't work that way."

Akane had a gift for saying exactly the right words. He didn't know how she did it. Hazō could feel the same potential within himself—sometimes, when the situation called for it, a speech would bubble up from the depths of his soul, and it would just be right—but whatever inner journey she'd made to that place of effortless clarity, he hadn't finished it yet, and all of Mari's manipulation training wasn't going to bring him a single step closer.

Communication took two people, though, and whatever power he'd already gained as a speaker, he had not gained as a listener. He knew she was telling the truth. He knew that Akane didn't lie, and he knew that love was something simpler and clearer to her than the tumultuous, seemingly random, overpowering force it was to him. Still, for all that, he couldn't make himself believe her all the way. Part of him was confident that yes, he, Gōketsu Hazō, could indeed fail badly enough to push her away. Hadn't he already done so much damage without even dreaming it was possible?

Besides, this time he'd already foreseen some of the ways he could fail.

"I want to believe that," he told her, "but the more I think about it, the more I can see real, genuine obstacles that aren't going away with just good intentions. I'm your clan head now. I stopped calling you my apprentice because that power imbalance was dangerous for a relationship. What about now, when I have absolute power over you?"

Akane stared out at the rising sun, dangling her legs over the edge of the platform. It wasn't the same one he'd used with Ami—that would have felt wrong for reasons he couldn't pin down—but after watching the world below bathed in the rain, he'd felt a strange desire to see the same place lit up by the sun, and coming here before dawn when most of the extended Gōketsu Clan was still asleep and yet to start making its countless demands on his time seemed like a perfect idea. Besides, what could possibly more youthful than watching the sun rise together?

"You can't escape that, Hazō," Akane said. "Whoever you have a relationship with, when they marry into the clan, they'll be in the same position as me. Maybe not Ino, but I don't know if clan heads can marry each other. At least, it's never happened in Leaf, and there must be reasons for that."

Hazō couldn't help noticing that she said "Ino" rather than "another clan head". He filed it away as potentially very important.

"This isn't about me, though," he said. "This is about you. You'd be the one to get hurt if things went wrong."

She nodded.

"You're forgetting one thing, Hazō."

"What's that?"

She smiled.

"I trust you. I trust you not to use your power to try to make me do something I don't want to, or if you do, I trust you to listen when I tell you why. That's what you've earned over these past months. I trust that you will want to know how I feel, and that you'll bear those feelings in mind when you make your choices."

"I don't know if that's enough," Hazō said. "I don't want to force you to do anything—ever—but that's my job now. If something needs to be done for the good of the clan, then I'd be betraying my duty if I didn't make it happen—even at the cost of hurting people. Bad enough for that to happen with family. I don't know if a relationship could survive it."

"I trust you," she repeated. "And we aren't alone. If you and I couldn't deal with a conflict, then the others could mediate. Noburi would help us talk things through calmly, and bring hot chocolate. Keiko, who's been having her own issues with taking control versus respecting agency, would offer insight that was just a little bit alien, but that we couldn't get anywhere else. Mari would identify the problem with pin-point precision and give us sage advice that didn't help at all, but somehow got us to move forward anyway. Kagome… Kagome would stay well out of it, but we'd all feel safer knowing that nothing could try to take advantage of our moment of vulnerability and survive.

"I trust you not to lose your way so badly that you stop listening to the people around you. I trust myself to catch you if you start to fall. And I trust both of us to be adults who'll look back on that fight afterwards and use it as an opportunity to grow."

The word "trust" echoed in Hazō's mind. So much trust. How could he be worthy of so much trust when he'd already betrayed it once? How could he, who held more potential for failure in the palm of his hand than most people experienced in a lifetime, accept that gift with just the hope that Akane might be right about him?

Unbidden, Jiraiya's face floated to the top of his mind. The patriarch was grinning his trademark grin, but there was a touch of solemnness in his eyes.

I already know that you'll find the strength to shoulder this responsibility. I know that, with or without Naruto, you'll grow into the leader this clan needs.

Then the Jiraiya in Hazō's heart added words he'd never had a chance to speak while he was alive. When I first met you, I thought I was done becoming who I was. I was the best at everything—war, politics, spycraft, writing, invention, love… at some things, I was even better than Sarutobi-sensei. I was a mature adult who had it all figured out, as a shinobi and as a man. Then you became my family, and suddenly I had to be better. You trusted me to protect you, and guide you, and to be a father and a husband and a leader worth following. I could never be the man you deserved. Nobody could ever be that man. The only thing I could do, I realised in the end, was to work as hard as I could, every day, to become more of him than I was. That was going to be my way of life as a clan head, and it was going to be my way of life as Hokage, and it is the torch I've passed on to you. Honour their trust. It is the only way you can live now.

Why had Hazō even needed to be told something like that? Hadn't he told Yoshio, Shizue, and Karen that being clan head meant taking absolute responsibility? When a member of your clan trusted you, your goal was to live up to that trust. Nothing else.

Nobody said he couldn't angst. Nobody said he couldn't worry whether he was worthy. Jiraiya's final letter was written with the painful humility of a man who knew he had fallen short. But no matter how he felt inside, what a clan head did was be the man his clan trusted him to be, or pass the mantle to someone who would.

How could Hazō claim to have that much resolve when it came to leading the clan if he was too timid to display it in his relationship with one person?

So instead of brushing away her faith, he simply said, "Thank you, Akane."

But that didn't mean he was done. The other obstacle towered far bigger, and this one was a matter of more than resolve. It was plain fact that some questions required more experience, and maybe more intelligence, than Hazō had in order to find the right answers.

"Akane," he said, "there is one other thing that bothers me."

"What is it, Hazō?" Akane asked.

"We talked through my worries about you sacrificing yourself"—she nodded seriously—"but there's more to it than what you're willing to risk your life for. When we broke up, it wasn't just about the ninjutsu, but about your place in my life." That phrasing sounded so arrogant, so self-centred, he realised, but it represented the problem perfectly. "You felt like you were being swept up in my goals and my visions, and it stopped you from being able to live a life of your own. Has that really changed?

"I don't want to insult you in case you really have found your own path and I just haven't realised. But what I see is you always working by my side. You support me. You do the things that need to be done but I just don't notice. Right now, you're giving up all your time to train the Shadow Clone Technique, which I asked you to as part of my plans, and to help Kagome-sensei with his decryption work—and while someone like Keiko might enjoy getting her teeth into that kind of problem, and I know I would if I just had the time, it doesn't strike me as the kind of thing you'd choose of your own will. Clan business is even taking time away from your training with Tsunade, the one thing I know you chose without me being involved in any way whatsoever.

"I'm scared that the closer you get to me, the more you'll end up swept up in my flow again. I don't want that for you. I want you to find a happiness that's just for Gōketsu Akane, a selfish happiness that'll let you become as much as you can of what you want to be. There would be no greater way of hurting you than taking away your future."

Akane gazed at the sun. She wasn't smiling.

"You're not wrong," she said eventually. "I'm a follower. Supporting others is what loyalty means to me, in the end. Sometimes I'm scared that one day the world won't want me to be youthful, and I'll just bow my head and do what needs to be done, and that's where my journey as Gōketsu Akane will end. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just hollow, borrowing somebody else's philosophy to live by, and somebody else's vision to chase, and somebody else's happiness to exist for.

"I know I'm running away from taking responsibility for my own life by thinking that way. Refusing to look for answers… it isn't just unyouthful, it's dangerous. It's how people's souls die. But reaching out for deep truths is hard, and frightening. I'm a good person. Loving, helpful, youthful, enthusiastic, dedicated. What if the truth is that I'm not? What if being hollow would be better, but at that point it's too late to go back?"

Hazō was silent. That was… much more than he'd expected.

She turned to face him.

"But Hazō, what I need from you isn't freedom. That's not yours to give. What I need is… a push on the back. And then, I need someone who'll hold me steady when I come back from wherever it is I've gone. And finally… I want something only you can give me, and only you can help me understand."

Hazō looked at her questioningly.

It almost felt like there was an aura about her. Not a jōnin aura, but something else, overpowering in its intensity.

She smiled, and suddenly the sun was a drab and dreary thing. It was Akane's smile that set the sky on fire, a vivid red rather than her usual shining gold.

"This is my selfishness. I want you, Hazō. I want everything about you.

"This love isn't hollow. It's not something I was taught. It's not something I borrowed. It's not the love of a follower. I didn't know it was there until I passed the Oracle's test and he showed me. This love is hungry, and uncompromising, and if it isn't leashed it will destroy.

"Look at me, Hazō. See me. Hear me. Make me your world the way you've always been mine.

"Don't just stand by my side. Face me."

She paused, as if gathering words. Hazō watched the fire in her eyes—not the familiar comforting glow of the hearth, but a new, all-consuming blaze.

They locked onto his. Perfectly, with no room for escape.

"This is my selfishness, Hazō. I want you. All of you without exception."

The world froze, balancing on a pivot, a single moment stretched into an eternity. Akane was still, waiting for his response.

Hazō didn't know what to say. This wasn't the calm, reasonable Akane he'd come to talk with.

No, it was. He knew Akane, and he could sense control, imposed over something that thrashed and raged against it. All he had to do was say no, and the fire in Akane's eyes would be smothered, and they would once more be just friends, just siblings, and in all likelihood they would never speak of this again.

Should he? This was more than he'd bargained for. Was the answer she'd given him enough? If he'd been right about her struggle with identity, then wasn't he right about the risks of making it worse?

Or was it hypocrisy to accept the half of her words that matched what he already thought while rejecting the half that didn't?

Could he take the risk? Wasn't it safer to just keep going the way they were?

But even if she was struggling with who she was, she knew what she wanted. A push on the back. Someone to hold her steady. The third thing. If he could give those to her, wouldn't it help her on her way to whoever it was she would become?

What was the right thing to do? Give her space, or step close to support her? This time, Jiraiya had no advice (though, given his romantic track record, that was probably for the best).

Instead, to his utter shock, the face Hazō got was Ami's.

In the end, which one of them are you?

Hazō the brother. Hazō the clan head. Hazō the lover. In the end, which one of them was he?

Yes.

His supportive, fraternal love. His passionate, romantic love. His drive to be the best man he could for those who trusted in him. All of them were Hazō, independently, but also all at the same time. He would give her all of him, and if that wasn't enough to make this work, then Hazō would become more until it did.

He opened his arms and reached out to hold her.

He never got close. Before he could so much as brush her with his fingertips, Akane pounced with all the focus and explosive power of a Kagome blast ring.

As the two melted into each other, Hazō made an executive decision. Just for today, the Human Path could manage without him.

-o-​

You have received 1 + 1 + 1 = 3 XP.

-o-​

In the end, Hazō felt guilty enough about his dereliction of duty that on coming home late at night, he decided to at least use up his remaining chakra on experiments. He established the following:

- The earth clone performs the Earth Clone Technique, correctly as far as you can tell. The ground rises up as if to form a clone but then immediately collapses. Hazō does not know why.

- The earth clone performs the Shadow Clone Technique. The shadow clone behaves just like the original, which is to say it obeys Hazō's orders, but ignores its creator. It disappears when the Earth Clone Technique expires 10 minutes later. Hazō does not receive its memories. During a second test, he asks the earth clone about its memories, but can't get a meaningful answer.

- Hazō's shadow clone can use the Earth Clone Technique as normal. The resulting clones are of equal strength to Hazō's, which is to say so low that it's impossible to see any difference.

-o-​

Voting is closed. The next update will be the plan from last Sunday.
 
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Chapter 370: The Iron Mine

I'm not bothering to roll any of the fights in this chapter. Thanks to Shadow Clones and Summons and the nature of the opponents, you are facing zero risk so there's no point spending the time and effort on it.


"You bought this?" Noburi said doubtfully. The three of them were standing atop the last ridge before the valley that was the western demarcation of the Gōketsu iron mine and surrounding land.

Hazō nodded but didn't say anything. He was wrestling with his own response and trying to find a way to frame it positively.

"I question your financial acuity," Keiko noted.

"It was never intended as a profit center," Hazō said defensively. "I was thinking about it as an emergency bolt hole if we needed to escape Leaf after Hyūga got elected."

Noburi grunted. "Check me on this, but am I correct that I'm looking at about twenty, maybe thirty acres of land?"

"About that, yes. We've also go the next valley over, which is something like twice as big."

"Uh-huh. And am I also correct that it is a literally unbroken field of bloodbriar and tanglethorn?"

Well, that was unfair. "It's not unbroken," Hazō said, pointing. "There's that big tree right there." He hesitated and then decided that he did in fact need to add, "Also, apparently there's sickvine mixed in."

His brother gave him a sidelong glance. "Seriously? You know that shit is practically impossible to get rid of, right? The rest of it, fine. Enough applications of Kagome's First Rule and maybe we'd have something, but if there's sickvine in there as well...."

"It is possible to eliminate large fields of sickvine," Keiko said. "It merely requires a tremendous amount of effort. We will need to destroy all of the plants, then burn the ground to get rid of their spores, then turn the earth over so that the roots of the plant are exposed. My pangolins are well suited to that task. We will undoubtedly miss some but regular patrols can keep the problem manageable."

"What a bunch of whiners," Candoru muttered.

"Excuse me?" Hazō asked his summon. "I didn't quite hear that. Would you like to try again?"

"C'mon, guy! It's just a bunch of plants! How bad can it be?"

The three experienced ninja looked at one another.

"Summons don't breathe, right?" Hazō asked Keiko.

She shook her head. "They do not. Chakra construct only, no biological processes."

"Hang on," Noburi said. "They have a sense of smell. How does that work?"

Candoru's tongue lolled. "A lot better than yours, two legs."

"Har de har de har. You're so funny."

"Thank you for recognizing this additional aspect of my greatness."

Noburi shook his head. "Yeah, that's not going to get old."

"Why don't you go inspect the valley for us, Candoru?" Hazō said innocently.

Candoru looked up at his summoner dubiously. "This is one of those things where you think I'm not going to be able to hack it, isn't it? One of Alpha's little 'get him killed as much as you can because the scoutmasters dislike being shown up for the fuddy-duddy scaredy-pups they are' things?"

Hazō shrugged. "Honestly, you probably won't have any issues. There's a few dangerous species that live in sickvine fields, like chakra voles, but they're probably not a threat to you. You don't have any blood so the bloodbriar won't attack, and you can steer clear of the tanglethorn."

"Fine."

o-o-o-o​

"I still say you could have mentioned the smell," Candoru griped, rubbing his nose. "Oh my god, it's like someone found a bloated, rotting, maggoty cat carcass that had been lying in the sun for a week, pissed on it, and then they shoved my entire face up its asshole."

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

"We mentioned spores," Hazō said unrepentantly, tossing another spray of explosives to his left while Noburi did the same on the right and Keiko to the front. All three of them had Purifier masks strapped tightly to their face; the rush of air into the mouth and nose was uncomfortable and distractingly loud, but it was better than breathing sickvine spores. The most they had managed for Candoru was a towel thoroughly soaked in lemon water before being tied around his nose with bandages. He wasn't willing to have his mouth muzzled so the bandages only went around his upper jaw and therefore he couldn't close his mouth or prevent himself from drooling. "What, you didn't think spores had a smell? Why else would it be called sickvine?"

"I thought it made you sick if you ate it! Besides, I came from downwind and there was nothing. Oh clouded sky, it's so deep in my nose I can taste it." He pawed frantically at his nose to no effect.

"Well of course not," Hazō said. "The spores would have long since settled out of the air. You probably kicked some up with you entered the field, and the plants sprayed you when you jostled them. Just be glad that you're not a meat person. If we breathe them in, the spores have a habit of taking root and starting to grow inside our lungs and nose. Very painful, generally fatal unless caught early and flushed with alcohol."

"Which is an exceptionally unpleasant experience," Keiko noted.

"Just get me out of this field and up onto the high ground. This mine of yours can't possibly be as—hah!" He lunged across Hazō's path and bit through a root that was coiled up, ready to sting as soon as Hazō was past. Powerful jaws bit straight through the root; Candoru shook his head, ripping the remains of it out of the ground. He spat the plant parts out, turned around on them, and lifted his leg.

"Takin' my own back," he said, staring Hazō right in the eyes as he widdled on the defeated threat.

"Thanks," Hazō said, smiling. "C'mon, it's not much farther to the lake. I want to check that first and then we'll go to the mine."

o-o-o-o​

"This is your lake?" Candoru said, audibly unimpressed.

"I admit, it's not quite what I was hoping for," Hazō said, looking out across the algae-scummed surface.

The lake did have an inlet and outlet, so there was a minimal degree of sluggish movement in the center part. In towards the shore, not so much. Large swaths of it were covered in a sickly purple algae. The parts where the water was visible revealed only greenish muck.

"You can waterwalk, right Candoru?" Hazō asked.

"Of course!"

"Great. You mind taking a stroll over to the outlet and tell me how hard it would be to enlarge it?"

Candoru gave him narrow eyes. "You're trying to get me killed again, aren't you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Candoru huffed and rolled his eyes, but he gave a disgruntled "Fine," and strode out onto the water where he was promptly killed.

"Oh wow," Noburi said, impressed. "I think that's the biggest horrorfish I've ever seen. What do you think, Keiko? Eighteen, nineteen inches?"

"A bit less. Perhaps fifteen."

"C'mon, sis, you're doing it wrong. When you tell fish stories you're supposed to exaggerate a little. Here, try it like so: 'A horrorfish killed my annoying brother's summon and the fish was thiiiiis big!'" He winked at Hazō. "I'll let you speculate on who the 'annoying' applies to."

Hazō rolled his eyes and Keiko gave Noburi a gimlet stare.

"I do not need to exaggerate," she said. "Truthful and accurate reports are the cornerstone of professionalism."

Hazō frowned. "I thought that careful planning and preparation—Summoning Technique: Candoru!—was the cornerstone of professionalism?"

Poof!

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF BLOOD GRAVY WAS THAT?!"

"That was a horrorfish," Hazō said. "Very fast moving ambush predator. They generally use a leaping attack from behind."

"IT STABBED ME IN MY DINGUS!! WHO STABS A GUY IN THE DINGUS?!?!"

"Horrorfish, apparently," Noburi said, smiling sweetly, handing a flask of chakra water to Hazō.

Candoru grumbled his way into silence. "Well, at least I can't smell or taste those darn spores anymore."

"Good to know. Okay, as soon as you finish checking the lake's outlet we'll head up to the mine."

"...Lovely."

o-o-o-o​

"Summoning Technique: Candoru!"

"Fuckin' yow! It got me in the bunghole this time!"

o-o-o-o​

"Summoning Technique: Candoru!"

"Seriously, what the fuck?!"

"Hey, try to be more careful, okay? Summoning is expensive, Hazō ran out of chakra a while ago, and there's not much for me to recharge from out here."

"I'll show you recharging, Toad boy. I'll recharge your ass right under that damn lake. I'll—"

"Sorry," Hazō said. "What was that, Candoru?"

"Nothing."

"Thought not. Forget the lake for a bit. Let's go up to the mine."

"Fine."

"No, mine," Noburi said, grinning. "You know, a big hole in the ground that you dig stuff out of?"

Candoru gave him a dirty look but led the way up the hill.

"Incidentally," Keiko said, "your approach to the horrorfish was counterproductive."

"Thank you, Miss Obvious. Do you have anything actually useful to say?"

"Yes. Your mistake was in attempting stealth. Their senses are significantly keener through water than yours are, meaning that you will not be able to evade their notice. They exist under the surface where it is difficult to observe them, and therefore you will not be able to detect them before they attack. Their weakness is in the method of attack: A high-speed leap from the water. It requires a significant run-up in order to gain speed, during which time they cannot turn well. They will abort their attack if the prey steps off the available lane of attack. So long as you move unpredictably from side to side you can prevent them from ever launching their attack."

Candoru shot Hazō with the eyes of betrayal. "You could have told me that." He immediately raised a silencing paw before Hazō could do more than open his mouth. "I know, I know. Blah blah get him killed blah blah learning experience blah de blah de blah blah. Hrmph." He turned and walked another few paces, then stopped.

"There's more of that damn sickweed. Do your explosions thing. And give me that towel back."

o-o-o-o​

"Seriously?"

Hazō nodded. "Yes."

Candoru looked at the entrance to the mine, then at Hazō, then back at the entrace to the mine. "It's a heckin' great hole in the side of the hill. You want me to go in there."

"Yes."

"Just for funsies? Not to get anything or fight anything, just to wander gormlessly around?"

"Yes."

"..."

"Aww, it's okay," Noburi said. "Don't worry, little guy. Lots of people are scared of the dark."

"I'm not scared of the dark! It's just...okay, seriously, can you guys not smell that?"

The human exchanged looks. "Smell what?" Hazō asked.

Candoru sniffed experimentally, then dragged in a deeper breath when he was sure there were no sickweed spores around. "It's like...rot? Maybe. But blood and dirt mixed in. And..." He shook his white-furred head. "I don't know. I've never smelled anything like it. It makes my ruff stand up, that's for sure."

I was true. The dog's fur was standing up across his neck and shoulders.

"Well, whatever it is can't hurt you," Hazō said with a shrug. "Get in there and tell us what's there. Be careful and keep talking as you go in."

"Grr. Fine. Fair warning: If you make me go in there and anything else pops me in the dingus or the bunghole I am going to pee on your sleeping bag."

"Threat noted. Do you want a light source?"

The dog considered that carefully, then nodded. "Yeah. If I need to be calling back to you lot then I can't stealth anyway. Might as well be able to see."

"No problem." Hazō knelt down and pulled out a Jiraiya's Awesome Daybright Lantern Seal, which he affixed to the top of Candoru's head with a blob of tree sap.

Candoru proceeded into the mine one careful step at a time, stopping between steps to carefully review his surroundings.

"Don't forget to keep talking!" Hazō called. "We need to know what's in there!"

"Agh! Fine! It's dark as the inside of a Cat's heart. The walls are rock, duh, mostly gray stone with colored horizontal stripes through it. There is pitting everywhere—walls, floor, ceiling. The pitting is small, none more than the size of one of your stupid human thumbs that us Dogs should have had if you humans hadn't stolen them all. There's a faint breeze coming from deeper in and I can smell water so I think—holy fuck!"

Hazō waited a moment, then turned his attention inward to the aetheric channel that connected him to his summon. He sighed and jabbed his much-bandaged finger on the pin that was now embedded in his belt.

"Summoning Technique: Candoru."

Candoru appeared, wide-eyed and trembling, and rapidly spun in a circle as he checked for threats.

"What happened?" Hazō asked.

"I was walking along and suddenly something fell out of the ceiling. I dodged it. It was some kind of big fat worm about like this." He sketched in the dirt with one toenail, indicating something perhaps an inch and a half long and a third as wide. "The front of its head split open in three parts and it was lined with teeth. Big ones for its size. I watched it hit the ground and start chewing its way into the damn floor. Then another one fell on my back and started chewing into me. Next thing you know, I'm home again and Huntmaster Cansudo was laughing at me. Then you summoned me back and here we are."

The Gōketsu exchanged looks.

"Did it fall out of one of those pits you mentioned?" Hazō asked.

"Yeah. And those pits were everywhere. That wasn't even one of the biggest ones."

"Feel like taking another run at them?"

"Fuck right I do."

o-o-o-o​

"Feel like taking another run at them?"

"Fuck right I do. I know what I did wrong last time."

o-o-o-o​

"Feel like taking another run at them?"

"You know it. I should have realized the first time: Bait them out, dodge, then walk on the ceiling once they've dropped out of their pits."

o-o-o-o​

"Feel like taking another run at them? We've got plenty more lantern seals."

"And I've got enough chakra left that Hazō can summon you four or five more times," Noburi said with a grin.

Candoru glowered but remained sitting. He looked off towards the lake and muttered something.

"Sorry, what?"

"I said no, okay? It would be one thing if there was an actual objective here, but there isn't. Cats, Hornets, whatever—I'll take 'em down no problem. Enclosed quarters with worms dropping on me, jumping out of the walls, and sometimes reaching up from underfoot? No. I'm done for now. I'll think about it and tomorrow I'll kill all those little bastards."

"Well, that was surprisingly easy," Noburi said. "Pay up, Keiko."

"I am paying under protest," she said, pulling her purse out and counting out ten fifty-ryō coins. "The bet was that he would learn the lesson by the end of the first day. He is still talking about going back in."

"Yeah, but he figured out that he needed to at least put some thought in and come back later." He held out his hand and waited without moving for Keiko to drop the coins in from a foot above. "Pleasure doing business with you, sis."

"You two know I'm right here, yeah?"

"Yes," Keiko said disapprovingly. "In large part because you just cost me five hundred ryō."

Candoru suddenly looked uncertain. "Uh...sorry?" He hesitated, looking back and forth between the three humans. "We're good, right?"

Keiko studied him for a moment, then sniffed dismissively. "I cannot afford to throw stones. You did in fact learn your lessons rather less expensively than did I. Yes. We are 'okay', as you say."

Candoru gave a tongue-lolling doggy smile. "Sweeeet. Say...you've still got lots of explosives, right?"

Keiko turned to Noburi in triumph but he raised his hands defensively. "Sorry, sis. Bet's paid, no takebacks."

"Hrmph."





XP AWARD: 5 This update covered 48 hours.

Brevity XP: 1

"QM had fun" bonus: 0
Sigh. I'm not going to, but I really should put a gazillion-point penalty here for forcing me to admit that writing punching is no fun anymore because you guys have outgrown all the normal threats and it's difficult to justify throwing level-appropriate stuff at you. I guess I'll have to learn to enjoy...*gags*...politics and romance. :sadbird:

Author's Note: You threw a bunch of explosives into the mine to clear out the rockworms. The mine promptly collapsed because it was apparently so Swiss-cheesed by the worms digging their tunnels that it was being supported mostly by good luck and a lack of dropped pins.

It is possible to reclaim this land but it will be a massive amount of work and definitely not economically viable solely for the iron mine. If you want the mine to work then you could bring in miners to dig a new shaft, which you would then have to inspect for infestation. You would need a large amount of ninja-hours to thoroughly blow up and burn fifty acres of land, then have pangolins roll across it very thoroughly or bring in hundreds of civilians to turn it over and dispose of all the sickweed roots. You would need to outfit them all with Purifier masks and there would probably still be some losses. You aren't actually sure what it would take to convert the lake into a usable resource. You checked and draining it by blasting out the retaining wall would not be too difficult.

Keiko sees no value in staying here and wants to get back to the Nara compound and (although she fervently denies it) Tenten. She will stay if you have a good reason to but she will be grumpy about it. Noburi also would like to head out; his chakra reserves are so huge that it's impractical for him to refill them in normal wilderness such as this. He needs the presence of dozens of ninja in order to get enough spare chakra to tank up. He too will stay if you want to but won't be happy about it.

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, September 9, 2020, at 12pm London time.
 
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Chapter 371, Part 1: The Nobster Rises

Something had already gone wrong.

The totality of the Naked Jaybird, booked ASAP after Hazō finished leafing through Noburi's guest list, felt hollow. Instead of the promised crowds, there were maybe twenty people milling around, dwarfed by the mountains of prepared snacks. Hazō didn't object in principle—as clan head, he was getting used to being swarmed by strangers, but he still felt more comfortable at intimate gatherings—but he felt sorry for Noburi, who had clearly expected his coming of age to be celebrated on an epic scale.

"I just don't get it," the man of the hour muttered. "I know I've only known most of them for a few months, but for every last one to cancel at the last minute… It's a knockout punch straight to the ego."

Hazō couldn't help but agree, considering the excuses, which ranged from the plausible, such as "I'm washing my hair", "I don't feel well", "I have an urgent mission", and "my sister was eaten by a chakra lemming" (it was that time of year) to those that weren't even trying, such as Akimichi Chōko's claim that she was on a diet and couldn't risk being in the same building as food. Something was definitely wrong.

"Nice coat, by the way," Noburi added. "Where'd you get it?"

Hazō gave an inscrutable smile. "This coat has a truly incredible story behind it, but one this world isn't yet ready to hear."

"I won't hold my breath."

Hazō surveyed the area. Akane was speaking quietly with Ino near the dais reserved for the musicians (who, being terrifyingly outnumbered civilians, had taken cover in one of the back rooms until it was time for them to perform). Akane's presence was electrifying, an unfamiliar and disorienting feeling, and if Hazō didn't know better, he'd almost suspect Mari to be playing a prank with her Lightning Element.

Come to think of it, he didn't know better. Few things were more in character than Mari picking up on their as-yet-unannounced relationship change and deciding to mess with them while the opening was there. But no, Mari was otherwise occupied having a very animated, completely silent conversation with Ami and Tenten on subjects unknown. Keiko stood nearby, watching attentively and jotting down notes in rapidfire shorthand.

Or was that her chatting with Ino and Chōji? Noburi had made a point of inviting Snowflake individually. He claimed that he was now the only man in the world with four different types of sister: sisters by blood (Aya and Saya), a sister by adoption (Keiko), a sister by metaphysical extension (Snowflake), and a sister by the transitive property (Ami). He'd added that the next step in his master plan was to get a sister-in-law, which would be a race between globally unprecedented, radical legal reform and Hazō sorting out his love life. Maybe, he added by way of consolation, they could make Keiko's wedding the kind with cute bridesmaids.

Shikamaru, Hazō noted, wasn't there to complete the ISC set, as Noburi had sent him a note to the effect that while he was, of course, invited, Noburi would be just as happy if Shikamaru responded by staying home and treating himself to something nice in Noburi's honour.

Then there was the gaggle of unfamiliar young men, the few of Noburi's friends who'd honoured their RSVPs instead of begging off at the last second. It was they, coming from a world where sharks were only a thing of stories, who'd asked the most questions about the coat.

"Oh, this? It's from the Mist Academy graduation test. To pass, you have to choke a shark to death with your bare hands. What? All right, I admit it, I made that one up. You're allowed gloves—shark skin is really rough.

"I just found it in my bedroom when I woke up one day. There was a note saying, 'Your father left this coat in my possession before he died. It is time it was returned to you. Use it well.' The mystery is… my father never wore a coat.

"Actually, this started out as a normal leather coat. It only began looking like this after I bound Hoshigaki Kisame's screaming soul to the cloth for all eternity. Sometimes I summon his shade to give me tactical advice. I mean, what else do you do when someone raises a hand against your family?"

Now, the boys were clustered around Yuno, the beautiful exotic foreigner, and she was smiling at the attention even as her hand slowly tightened around Satsuko's grip. Hazō would have to do something about that soon. Meanwhile, on the periphery… Hazō had an equally bad feeling about the periphery, where Neji (who'd been invited, amazingly, lest he "gatecrash the party out of burning jealousy") was talking to Kadokura Ruri. Why had Noburi invited her? Why was she immune to the curse that had befallen so many other guests? What were the implications of her talking to Neji? Hazō wanted to ask, but had a feeling he might not enjoy the answers.

Finally, Kagome-sensei's voice could occasionally be heard from the kitchen, where he was busy browbeating the civilian cooks into making a new batch of snacks "with a proper kick to them, none of this bland mush I wouldn't feed to a toddler".

Seeing all the boys clustering around one girl, Hazō had a moment of realisation. He reached for the guest list.

"Shimura Yumi. Sunohara Sachiko. Minami Shiina. Meiori Nanako. Nara Shion. Sakurai Kanade. Noburi, are all the names on these three sheets girls?"

"Well, duh," Noburi said.

"This is three quarters of the guest list!"

"Don't worry," Noburi said. "Someday, you will be almost as popular as me. Two thirds, maybe, if you leverage the clan head thing for all it's worth. And get a proper haircut."

"Shut up, Noburi," Hazō said, concealing his pity. It wasn't Noburi's fault that the best girl on the planet had already been claimed. "It's just… yesterday morning, Yuno asked to see the list, then said she'd be going out for the day. She took Satsuko."

Both boys slowly pivoted around to look at Yuno. She smiled and waved.

Keiko and Kadokura were summoners. Akane was Yuno's best friend. Mari and Ami terrified her. Tenten only had eyes for Keiko. Ino was a clan head specialising in psychological warfare. Those were the only other women at Noburi's birthday party.

Hazō patted Noburi on the shoulder reassuringly. "Good luck."

"Oh, no," Noburi said after a second, eyes widening. "She's just noticed that Kimura's wearing a green bracelet on his left hand in a place of business. Who does that? Oh, hell, she's about to—"

"Ladies and gentlemen!" Hazō bellowed, interrupting the diplomatic incident before axes became involved. "It's time for everyone's favourite time of day: gift-giving time!"

Yuno lowered her axe. Kimura, a tall, gangly youth with almost Naruto levels of poor colour coordination, took the opportunity to back away.

"Gōketsu Noburi. Step forward."

Noburi stepped forward solemnly.

Hazō pulled off the sharkskin coat and passed it to Noburi, folded across his hands as if it were a ceremonial blade.

"I hereby bestow this sacred sharkskin coat upon you. May it come to bear many legends, only some of which you will make up."

Noburi took the coat bemusedly. "So… you're giving me this coat you've been wearing all day?"

"…yes?"

Noburi shrugged. "Eh, it's a nice coat. Thanks, Hazō." He put it on, tugged on the lapels a couple of times, then looked around. At Hazō's prearranged signal, a couple of waiters hustled up with a full-body mirror.

"A very nice coat," Noburi amended. "The girls will be all over this… if I'm ever allowed to meet any girls again."

"Ooh, I've got just the thing to complete this outfit," Mari said. She walked up to Noburi, examined the coat critically, then tugged it in a couple of places to make it settle in a more flattering form. Standing on tiptoe, she reached up and slid a chain over his head.

The silver pendant bore the character for "dragon", framed by a thick, elaborately-shaped cerulean ring that, on closer inspection, was a remarkably accurate portrayal of one mythical beast in particular: Noburi's humongous dragon, complete with tiny ruby eyes glowing with wrath, and a tail composed of water droplets fading into nothingness behind it. Hazō had no idea how the craftsman, without ever having seen the original, had managed to capture its sense of majestic, torrential violence.

"Badass," Noburi said after another few seconds with the mirror. "If I were a girl, I would totally fall in love with me."

"Hey," Ami said, "we've got a theme going!"

She offered Noburi an innocent-looking scroll. By size and shape, it seemed like a standard ninjutsu scroll, but where you would expect a label describing the contents, it bore only the dread mark of "^_^".

Noburi unfurled it, spent a few seconds reading, and then he looked right at Hazō with what could only be described as a malevolent grin.

"Say, Ami, is this what I think it is?"

Ami beamed.

Hazō got a powerful sense of impending doom.

"I'll make it my top priority," Noburi promised.

"Could you make sure I'm there when you first try it out? Pretty please?"

"No promises," Noburi said, struggling to hold in laughter. "The true master bows before nothing but comedic timing."

"Preach it."

After that, it was a massive relief when Keiko chose to go next. Whatever she had in store, it would be both practical and reasonably likely not to result in chaos and destruction for Hazō personally.

"This is a joint present from Snowflake and myself," she stated, handing Noburi a sheaf of documents which, after the preceding gifts, looked about as thrilling as… well, a sheaf of documents. "She proposed the original plan, which I of necessity had to implement alone, and we cooperated on the final structuring and transcription."

Noburi nodded. "And it is decorated with a drawing of a toad with its tongue tied in a knot because…?"

"Snowflake was feeling whimsical," Keiko said scathingly. "This file is the product of extensive discussion with the Pangolin Diplomatic Corps, which as you will recall has centuries of experience interacting with the Toads. It contains a detailed listing of unique Toad slang and idiom, with notes based on my own experience of the peculiarities of summon culture. Snowflake's contribution is an analogous dictionary of Toad insults, listed according to level of formality and familiarity. I am given to understand that the use of any from the final page is considered legitimate casus belli."

"Whoa." Noburi flicked through the pages. "My Toad street cred is going to be through the roof. And I'll finally have something to say back to Gamasēji when he starts lecturing me, the yellow-throated sprogfloinker."

Keiko winced. "On second thought, this was a terrible idea. Is it too late to retract the gift in favour of some nice, inoffensive chocolate?"

"Yes."

-o-​

This is Part 1 of the update. Part 2 will have to be posted over the weekend, when I have spoons to finish it. In the meantime, voting is open.

What do you do (starting the day after the party)?

Voting closes on Saturday 12th of August, 9 a.m. New York Time.
 
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Chapter 371, Part 2: The Nobster Reflects

The party was finally over. Noburi, all danced out, stood by the central table laden with gifts, and thanked each of the guests profusely as they left.

With a few exceptions, the rest of the gifts had been less memorable. Tenten's had been an allegedly indestructible emergency flask, made of metal and structurally reinforced in ways she tried and failed to explain. Akane had offered the latest sourcebook from the creators of The Witch King's Chains, a typically Akane response after Noburi had complained—on a single occasion—that his summoning training was leaving him with no time to design a new campaign (now that the usual roleplayers from the Gōketsu gaming nights had exhausted the pre-made material). Kadokura had given Noburi a gorgeous blue scarf, while Chōji had brought one of his favourite cookbooks.

Some stood out a little more. Kagome-sensei's gift was The Master's Guide to the Bedroom Arts, an educational work of Jiraiya's which had been informally banned after Leaf General Hospital was flooded with sufferers of dislocated joints shortly after publication. Mari had been rolling on the floor with laughter, as it had turned out to be her fault for making a throwaway joke that Kagome-sensei had taken seriously. It remained unclear whether Kagome-sensei had really thought he was getting Noburi a guide on home decoration (and Auntie, his secret weapon when it came to acquiring obscure literature, had chosen not to enlighten him), or whether he'd overcome mortal embarrassment in order to acquire a gift Mari had insisted would change Noburi's life. Noburi had been gloriously mortified, while Yuno had completely failed to react.

Ino had presented Noburi with a comma-shaped magatama earring the exact shade of Yamanaka eyes. According to her, this was a charm given by the Yamanaka to friends and lovers scheduled to travel to "spiritual danger zones", and would protect the wearer against possession by kami and evil spirits (though it would do nothing against the Yamanaka themselves, whose powers had been handed down by the Sage of Six Paths, and were thus spiritually pure).

Hyūga had given Noburi On Purity, a collection of essays on morality and ethics penned by Hyūga Hiashi, "on the off-chance that it is not too late for you". A brief skim revealed a peculiar mixture of vitriolic bigotry, holier-than-thou moralising, and thoughtful meditation on the struggle between base drives and enlightened motivations inherent to the human condition.

Noburi's miscellaneous male friends had given him a variety of presents, from liquor which Mari confiscated as too strong for a still-developing organism ("I remember what this stuff did to me when I was your age") to a beautifully-drawn fashion folio that also happened to function as an advertising brochure for the boy's father's store, to a spy dissection kit bought from T&I as a collective gift ("we asked around for what you like, and your sister said you missed your medical training with Yakushi-sensei, and your other sister told us about these catalogues you can get from the main office…").

Yuno had chosen to go last, and her present was a simple green blindfold.

"When Isan was being founded," she'd begun, "Akio chose Kanda Yukari, the great storyteller, from among his companions to record the story of Ui Isas and his successors. Kanda was unclean,"—thanks to Mari's training, Hazō caught a very brief eye flicker in Keiko's direction—"so she never had any heirs, and the role of lorekeeper ended up going to the Inoue. Still, when people tell stories, they always start with, 'With Kanda's blessing on my lips'."

She'd taken a few steps towards Noburi, blindfold held in front of her with both hands, Satsuko left to stand against the wall.

"The people of Isan don't really celebrate birthdays the way you do. But we do celebrate coming of age, even if it would be weird to do it at fifteen. When an Isanite comes of age, usually we ask for the blessing of our ancestor among Akio's companions. If we're allowed. But every now and again, someone outside the Inoue asks for Kanda's blessing to be a storyteller. It's a very honourable role, but it's also one of the most demanding, and if you don't follow the proper forms when you tell your stories, you'll get cursed and shrivel up and die."

She took another step forward.

"Noburi, when you talk, the world grows a little warmer, and I can almost see colours. When I see through your eyes, everything is close enough to touch. When you tell stories, I can be someone else, somewhere else, even if it's only for a little while. You can hunt, and you can make, but you are not a hunter or a maker. When you shape words, they can become something holy—a power that connects, a salve that takes away pain, a bridge across the ravine that separates us from the worlds that could be."

Another step, and now she was within arm's reach.

"Properly speaking, it's not my place to do this. I don't even know the ritual, since I never got one. But the people who are supposed to do this turned their backs on Akio's teachings long ago, and I hope they spend eternity being torn to pieces on the Naraka Path, then being sewn back together just long enough to make them hope that this the last time before they get reincarnated somewhere better, then being torn to pieces again, over and over, so I think it's OK for me to take their place.

"Gōketsu Noburi, this blindfold is the gift of Kanda Yukari, who was blinded in Akio's defence, and who learned to see worlds free from the taint of our own. Please accept it. I think it's the right way to thank you for who you are, and the right way to end this."

She slipped the blindfold around a stunned Noburi's head, then stepped away, both awkward and proud.

Hazō agreed with her entirely. He was very, very glad he hadn't decided to stretch out the joke by not giving Noburi the coat until the end.

-o-​

Now, it was truly over. The Naked Jaybird was far behind, the guests had headed home (or, in Keiko's case, to the Nara compound, which might have been as much her home as the Gōketsu estate, but never more). As Kagome-sensei let Mari know exactly how likely he was to take her advice ever again, and Akane had yet to return from walking Ino back, Hazō took the opportunity to catch up with his still-elated brother.

"Enjoy the party?" he asked.

"Hell yeah!" Noburi grinned. "I mean, it could have done with more girls, but that goes for most things. I figure I'll get them to make it up to me next year. Hey, thanks for all your work organising it. The musicians were a great touch. I love our usual birthday get-togethers, but there's really something about being able to just cut loose on the dance floor. Also, Yuno trying to teach Hyūga traditional Isan dance? You could all have given me Pandā-brand military memorabilia for gifts, and I'd still be satisfied with how that party went."

"No problem," Hazō said. "Least I could do. Seriously, Noburi, it means a lot to me to know that you always have my back. It's good to get the chance to show my appreciation every once in a while."

"Celebrate my birthday more often," Noburi said. "Got it. What was with the coat, though? Don't get me wrong, I love it, but getting it off your shoulder like that? The symbolism's a little icky."

"Uh… I thought it would be funny at the time?"

Noburi shook his head. "There's the Hazō we all know and love. Great planner, passable organiser, never quite as smart as he thinks he is. But luckily, I'm the Captain Zabuza of putting up with annoying siblings. I'm over it. And it really is a great coat. No way does anyone in Leaf have one of these babies."

No, he really wasn't. Noburi could never be Captain Zabuza, who still occasionally turned up in Hazō's dreams, as if one evening's humiliation was to be repaid with a lifetime of the hunter-nin's cold, dead hand squeezing Hazō's heart until he woke up drenched in sweat. No, if Captain Zabuza ever found himself stuck with an annoying little sister, he'd probably murder her without a second thought.

"Anyway," Hazō said urgently, "how about… you and Yuno? That was quite a thing back there. I take it everything's going well?"

"Honestly," Noburi said, "no clue. I thought she was being kind of distant lately. But then she did what she did with the girls, and you heard what she said when she gave me her gift. It's mixed signal city over here."

"I'm sure you'll figure things out," Hazō said. "As long as you genuinely care about each other, it's just a matter of talking things through. Also, have you considered not inviting hordes of girls to your party when you know she's going to be there?"

Noburi shook his head. "That's crazy talk. I mean, it's not like I'm going to cheat on her. I just want to have a little fun."

Hazō sighed. "Never mind. I'm sure Satsuko will explain it all to you in due course. In the meantime, what are we going to do about adopting her? Yuno, I mean, not Satsuko. We still have an adoption slot left. Should we use it?"

Noburi rolled his eyes to the heavens in mock despair. "I swear we've been over this, Hazō. Or if not, we totally should have been. If Yuno's adopted, she stops being a Kannagi. If she stops being a Kannagi, then it's not a marriage alliance anymore. Our plan is to turn up at Kannagi's doorstep going, 'Hey, look, your granddaughter's just tied your clan to this global superpower. Say you approved the marriage all along, and suddenly you've got a massive influence boost in Isan and a powerful ally in the outside world. Say Yuno's still a missing-nin, and Leaf is still on your doorstep, only now you're irrelevant and you've insulted Isan's point of contact.' But if she gets adopted, then she's in the exact same position as us. None of us are legitimate representatives of our old clans, and the only diplomatic link we have is based on goodwill, of which there's precious little to go round."

"Ah. Right. Speaking of diplomatic links, how about the Toads? How's your relationship with them, apart from wanting to call Gamasēji a yellow-throated sprogfloinker? Which he definitely is—I'm already at risk of being cursed by the ancestors for being me and burned up by the Will of Fire for committing treason against Leaf. Alleged treason," he added in case anyone was listening. "I keep telling him I don't need a third religion to worry about."

"You always take that stuff too seriously," Noburi said. "Just accept that when we die, there's going to be a battle for our souls that'll make Nagi Island look like a playground spat. It'll be great. We can bring honeyed nuts, and place bets.

"Anyway, that asshole aside—do Toads have assholes? If they do, I'm sure it'll be in Keiko's report—it's not too bad. The boss is still making noises about having me replaced with a 'proper' jōnin if I don't shape up, but at this point I think that's more of a way to keep me in line than a real decision that he's still thinking about. On the other hand, contracts are very much a work in progress. The Toads don't have a rigid command structure like the Pangolins, so I'm not going to be assigned my own unit just by making friends with the right high-ups. I mean, if I ask for help, I'll get something, but I'll also be the summoner who couldn't handle his own recruitment. Considering whose shoes I have to fill, that's not an option."

Hazō nodded. "If there's one thing I can blame Jiraiya for, it's the act he left us to follow. Every time I have to make a big decision, I end up wondering what he'd have done, with his decades of experience, and his world-shaking power, and that blazing charisma he could turn on and off like a seal with an Urahara conditional."

"Yeah," Noburi said. "Sometimes I get envious of you for being clan head, but then I remember what you have to live up to, and I'm very glad that I'm just Leaf's rising star of ninjutsu, Tsunade's future rival, and the man who will get all the girls and make Haraguro the Harem Lord break down in tears at my feet even if I have to successfully romance Satsuko first."

"Rising star of ninjutsu?" Hazō asked. "Does that mean the Akimichi techniques are paying off?"

Noburi grimaced. "Not yet. I asked Chōji, and he wasn't optimistic. The Akimichi train those for years before they get any real payoff. I'm hoping we can do better—it'll really suck if I end up falling behind you guys."

"Sorry," Hazō said. "Didn't mean to bring down the mood. Do you think I'm doing it, though? Living up to expectations? I mean, I know I'm no Jiraiya, but I'm doing my best with the Gōketsu, and with making Uplift work now that we finally have the resources. I'm never sure, though—am I doing enough?"

Noburi spent a while thinking.

"I don't know," he finally said. "I can tell we're doing a lot of stuff, but I can't fit it all together in my head. We're teaching civilians, and we're doing research on flying, because I guess skywalkers aren't enough, and toilets for some reason, and we're trying to splinter the KEI, and there's the scary stuff Mari keeps going off to do… I'm not sure where half of it is supposed to go. Till'n'fills made sense to me in a way a lot of what we're doing now doesn't. I'm sure you have some grand vision in your head where all these pieces fit together, but you haven't exactly shared it with us.

"If there's one place we're dropping the ball, I think it's medicine. Civilians are dying in droves out there, and Tsunade and her people are just too swamped. Did Akane tell you? Apparently, during the election Ami bribed her with free access to the Water Country in exchange for helping set up the KEI. Only that hasn't happened because Tsunade can't go far from Leaf in case there's an attack, and there aren't enough medic-nin to send out either. Which figures. It's a rough job, you have to train longer and harder than everyone else, you get way less downtime, and you're more vulnerable in the field because you have less combat training and everyone knows to go for the medic first. And of course, Leaf lost a whole lot of medic-nin because anti-clanless discrimination meant a lot of them were from clans that went down in the Great Collapse. Right now, anyone who tries to turn away a candidate gets to deal with the KEI and Tsunade, and they'd better pray it's in that order, but we're still going to take years to train up the next generation. And that sucks, because half the stuff civilians die from could be fixed with the most basic medical ninjutsu, if we only had the numbers. I could banish common rot spirits just with the stuff I learned from Hashimoto back in the day."

"I'll give it some thought," Hazō said. "Can't let a corner of the world get away unrevolutionised. Thanks for catching that, Noburi. This is what I'm talking about—you're the brother I know I can count on."

He offered Noburi a fist.

"Don't get all sappy on me now," Noburi said. "Actually, no, it's my birthday. Get as sappy as you like if it means telling me how great I am. And hey, as brothers go, I could do a lot worse myself."

They shared a slow, satisfied fist bump.

"By the way," Hazō said as they walked on towards the compound, storage scrolls heavy with a bewildering variety of gifts from family, friends, strangers, and even enemies, "I have good news. So I talked to Akane…"

-o-​

You have received 4 + 1 + 1 = 6 XP.

QM fun-to-write XP included.

-o-​

Voting is closed.
 
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Chapter 372: Dogs, Sleds, and Chakdar, Oh My!

"Nice to see you guys again," Hazō said, sipping his tea.

"Indeed."

Keiko rolled her eyes at her husband's duosyllabic response. Shikamaru had massive dark circles under his eyes and was visibly on the edge of falling asleep—in a 'I have not slept in three days' way instead of his usual 'ah, the ennui of my existence' way. They were meeting in the sitting room of the Nara Clan Head's personal chambers, and Shikamaru was almost visibly struggling not to look longingly at the bedroom door.

"Shikamaru, you know that you could have delayed this meeting, right?" Noburi asked. "No offense, but you look like crap."

"I am aware," replied the young Clan Head, covering a yawn. "Despite my appearance, I was actually looking forward to this meeting. Whatever you are here to request will be stated directly, most likely be of a prosocial nature, and almost certainly not exploitative or intended as a trap. This will make a pleasing contrast to the meetings that have been occupying my time for the last three weeks." He raised a hand in an interrupting gesture. "The meetings about which, unfortunately, I may not speak." A brief smile flickered across his exhausted face. "A fact for which you should be very grateful."

"Indeed," said Keiko, managing an excellent mimicry of her husband's earlier comment. "The complaining has been almost as exhausting for me as the paperwork and discussions have for him."

Shikamaru looked hurt. "'Complaining' seems unkind."

"Would you prefer 'whining'?" she said, her lips quirking in a teasing smile that actually showed a modicum of affection and thereby left Hazō feeling that his worldview had been rocked to its core.

"We don't necessarily want something," Hazō said, wounded. "Maybe we're just here for...okay, yeah, fine." He shrugged, grinning. "I want to pick up those dogsleds your engineers have been working on, but I also wanted to talk to you about our Seventh Path chakra farm. Noburi?"

"It's pretty cool," Noburi said. "The idea is that we get a bunch of high-chakra critters and stash them on the Seventh Path. As long as I keep a contracted Toad at the farm I can reverse-summon back to it from anywhere. I'm out in the field and running low on chakra? Boom! I vanish and reappear in ninety seconds, full up on chakra again."

"It also allows him to ship chakra water around," Hazō put in.

"I was getting to that! Anyway, yes, it lets me ship chakra water around, assuming the help of another Summoner who has a contracted animal at the farm. I go up there and give them some water, they go home and distribute it."

"Have you verified that your chakra water can travel between Paths?" Shikamaru asked.

"Sure. Every time I go up to talk to Gamabunta or one of the others, I bring my barrel. Easy peasy."

"What happens to water that is left behind when you change Paths?"

Hazō and Noburi exchanged nervous glances.

"We...haven't tried that one," Noburi admitted.

Shikamaru sighed. "Perhaps that might be a good test to run," he said with exaggerated patience. "It would still be useful to be able to refill other Summoners, but your ability to refill non-Summoners might be limited."

"Um...yeah. We'll do that. Thanks."

Silence fell as three pairs of eyes rested on Noburi.

"Oh! You mean now. Right, one sec. Summoning Technique: Gamasid!" Noburi pricked his finger on a kunai and started to touch it to the floor, only to pause as Keiko flicked a napkin in the way. Touching the hardwood with a layer of cloth over it had no effect, as the familiar poof of orange smoke appeared, dispersed, and revealed the toad that Jiraiya used to use as a messenger, reverse-summoner, and ambassador.

The thumb-sized toad stretched and yawned. "Hey, Noburi. How's it hangin'?"

"Doing well, Sid. You?"

"Eh. Can't complain, although you did wake me up from a lovely nap and offering some tea would be a nice gesture. Maybe even introducing me to your friends. You know, like a civilized person would."

Noburi chuckled, shaking his head in dismay. "Right, sorry. You know Hazō already. Shikamaru, Keiko, this is Gamasid. He was Jiraiya's friend, confidante, ambassador, and primary reverse-summoner. I wouldn't presume to call him my friend yet, although I'm hoping we get there. Sugar in your tea, Sid?" He poured a small amount into a saucer and pushed it closer. "I'm sorry I don't have an appropriately-sized cup."

Gamasid shook his head and sighed. "See, now this here? Shocking. Simply shocking. Just because I'm about one ten-thousandth of your size, is that any reason you shouldn't always have on your person a fully stocked set of every supply that I might possibly need?" Fortunately, the tone was teasing or Hazō would have been worried.

"I'll get right on that," Noburi said, grinning.

"Oh, and yes on the sugar. Two lumps."

"One ten-thousandth is ambiguous," Shikamaru pointed out. "Are you measuring by weight or by volume?"

Gamasid laughed. "I like this one. Snarky." He paused to lift up one of the sugar lumps in both tiny hands, dip it in the tea, and slurp the tea back out. The lump was half his bodylength but he handled it easily.

"After you finish your tea, would you mind reverse-summoning me? We want to run an experiment." Even as he spoke, Noburi was unslinging his barrel and dipping out two teacups of water. He passed one to Hazō, set the other on the low table in front of them, and immediately re-equipped the barrel.

"Sure. So, what's goin' on with you lot? Life treating you all okay? Any hot gossip to share?"

Amazingly, the tiny toad was not joking. He took ten minutes to slowly work his way through the saucer of tea, drinking all of it through the sugar lumps, and the whole time he insisted on being regaled with juicy details of the lives of humans he had almost certainly never even heard of, much less met. Finally, however, even Gamasid was sated.

"Be right back," Noburi said. "Hazō, drink that one after I leave, the other when I get back."

"Right." Hazō quickly poured chakra through his muscles, pointlessly boosting his strength and speed merely for the sake of using up the chakra. The moment the smoke cleared from Noburi's departure to the Seventh Path he raised the cup in salute and with a casual, "Health!" knocked it back as he had done with hundreds of cups of chakra water before.

The quicksilver power of his brother's chakra completely failed to infuse his coils.

Seconds later, Noburi reappeared. "Did it work?"

Hazō shook his head and drank the second cup. It had precisely as much effect as the first cup, which was to say none.

"It would appear," Shikamaru noted, "that when you are on a different Path any water from which you are separated loses its virtue."

"Sloppy thinking, husband. We know only that it loses its virtue when the water is here and he is on the Seventh Path." Perhaps only Team Uplift, and hopefully Shikamaru, would have known Keiko well enough to recognize her grave tone as the teasing that it was.

Shikamaru may or may not have recognized it, because he glared at his wife and when he spoke his tone was exasperated. "If you insist on being precise, we know only that water in those two cups loses its virtue, under all currently-applicable circumstances such as astrological configuration, lithomantic effects of the location at which Hazō is seated, and far too many other potential influences to list. However, I believe 'when the water and the source are on different Paths' to be a plausible inference."

Keiko nodded and turned her hand in silent apology.

"That's unfortunate," Hazō said, hoping to head off what could potentially turn into a marital spat if the exhausted Shikamaru was unable to take teasing in good part. "It means that we will only be able to refill Summoners as opposed to any ninja, but—"

"What you mean 'we', list boy?" Noburi demanded, grinning. "Seems to me there's only one person here doing all the work."

Hazō chuckled. "Fair. Okay, you will only be able to refill Summoners. Still, Leaf has enough of them that this is a really valuable service."

"Which brings us to the next part of my cunning plan," Noburi said.

"Your cunning plan?" Hazō asked, eyebrows up.

"Fine, our cunning plan. We're going to sell access to this service to any Leaf Summoner. Obviously, Keiko gets it free because she's my sister and she's awesome. Still, there are some details to be sorted out and we were hoping that as the resident geniuses you guys would help us sort them out."

Shikamaru yawned again, barely managing to cover it. "Yes?"

"Back at the Exams, Jiraiya warned us about the danger of draining chakra from summons," Noburi explained. "We're trying to figure out how to do it safely and not having much luck. We tried taking critters from the Human Path over there, with no success. It's not even predictable—sometimes they die, sometimes they are just left behind, blah blah no luck. Any ideas?

"Are there toads you might enquire of?"

Noburi nodded. "Yeah, Ma and Pa and Gamabunta might know something. I wanted to do my homework before talking to them; sometimes they can be a bit snarky. If we can't take animals, what do you think about me taking an egg and raising it there?"

Keiko and Shikamaru exchanged dubious glances and Shikamaru shrugged.

"It seems worth trying," he said. "I feel that I lack the knowledge about the Seventh Path and Summoning in general to be useful. On this topic I shall leave you to my brilliant wife." He turned to Keiko. "Did you find the compliment believable and heart-warming? I have been informed that such things can promote marital harmony and greater efficacy of interpersonal relations."

Keiko nodded thoughtfully. "It was a trifle obvious. A more effective version might have been to merely turn to me and say 'Keiko? You are the expert here.'"

"Thank you, I shall remember that for next time." He turned back to Hazō and Noburi. "Is there anything else? If not, I have a meeting in two hours and would prefer to sleep."

"No, we're good," Hazō said. "Thank you for taking the time."

"Of course. It's what family does, and I am your brother-in-law." He began gathering up his tea implements and placing them back on the tray.

Hazō waited a beat expectantly.

"Weren't you going to ask for my critique?"

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Your critique?"

"On the compliment and...I dunno, if it would be as effective as intended at promoting harmonious relations between our clans or whatever."

Shikamaru frowned. "Not all interactions are the same, Hazō. I am unfamiliar with being married and therefore require instruction. I am more confident in my ability to interact on the basis of friendship and therefore feel no need to ask for review. In short: Sometimes a compliment is simply a compliment. Now, if you'll excuse me." He stood, bowed, and disappeared into the bedroom.

o-o-o-o​

"What do you think?" Hazō asked, watching the latest-version dogsled vanish into the distance with Canaria barking in excitement as she ran.

"It seems much improved," Cannai said gravely. "We shall perform additional tests. Please return after the Human Path's second noon from now. We will have better answers at that time."

"Yes, sir." Hazō had long since given up trying to manage time conversions between the Paths and contented himself with being glad that Cannai seemed to have no problem with it.

"Candoru had interesting things to say about his time with you," Cannai noted. His tongue was not actually lolling out in canine laughter, but the tip of it could be seen at the corner of his mouth.

"Oh?"

"Yes. He was quite disgruntled at the prevalence of unfamiliar lifeforms on the Human Path. There are no fish on the Seventh Path that hunt by, and I quote, 'Jumping up your bunghole!'"

There was definitely a bit more tongue showing.

"He actually did pretty well," Hazō said.

Cannai cocked his head and the tongue disappeared. "Do tell." The tone was so dry that nearby water sources evaporated. Big ones. Like, 'inland sea' big.

"For a first timer, I mean. Um...he was...very courageous and showed a lot of determination?"

"His overabundance of courage and determination is precisely what I wanted you to train out of him."

"Yes...right. Well, he did get his head around the idea after just a few hours. He refused to go back into the mine until he could come up with a plan."

"Did he perhaps ask for a plan? Or indeed any suggestion?"

Hazō paused, thinking. "You know I'm trying to be positive here, right? On the Human Path it's a sign of loyalty and politeness for a battle companion to emphasize the positive so long as it doesn't mean distorting the facts."

"Oh, dear. Is my requirement for completeness and honesty making it difficult for you to portray the headstrong and snotty young pup in a positive light?" Fortunately, the tongue was visible again.

Hazō laughed. "Well, it would be convenient if you were a little slower with the incisive questions. At least let me frame the narrative first."

"Hm. I shall keep it in mind. Moving on. You have lived up to your promises by giving us saddlebags—although I still have no idea what a saddle is—and what at least seems to be a useful sled design. You may even have managed to put a tiny little dent in Candoru's remarkably thick skull before I or one of the other adults gave in to our desire to drown him. I suspect you now have a request?"

Hazō chuckled. "Well, it would be nice to get some additional contracts. Do you have anyone to recommend?"

"Hm. I would like you to continue working with Candoru until he finally acquires a bit of basic awareness of reality. He is young but a relatively effective combat summon. If you require more combat power, I'm sure there are dogs who would be interested in exploring another world. Beyond that, what are your needs?"

Hazō reached into his pouch and pulled out a piece of paper. "As it happens, I have a list."

"Despite the brevity of our acquaintance, I find myself remarkably unsurprised."

What is on Hazō's list? Please format your votes with the (Doggo) tag as:

[x] (Doggo) A nose-booping juggler
[x] (Doggo) A dog walker
[x] (Doggo) A dog runner

Cannai will consider the top 3 entries.


o-o-o-o​

The bell jingled as Kagome-sensei pushed the door open. As though summoned from the depths, Gramps Tanaka (as the ancient proprietor of Tanaka's Chocolates insisted on being called) appeared from below the counter, his round face beaming.

"Welcome, M'Lords! How may I he—"

"Chocolate!" Kagome-sensei demanded, waving his arms in excitement. "All of it!"

"Not all of it, sensei," Hazō said quickly. He turned back to Tanaka. "I'll take a double-size hot chocolate with ginger and orange, plus two dozen of those chocolate-dipped varied fruits."

Kagome-sense grumbled. "Fine. I suppose I'll have the same. But make mine a triple! And put some of that whipped cream on it. Oh, and the ground cinnamon on the cream. And maybe a splash of the cherry-infused sugar syrup. And some hickory essence."

"Coming right up, M'Lords." Tanaka turned and started bustling around behind the counter, pulling the coated fruits out of the freezer. "By the way, Your Lordships, I can't get over how helpful that food storage service of yours is—the one with the storage seals? Three months ago the price of cream plummeted for a few days and I bought up twenty gallons of it. I'm still working off that same supply and it's as fresh as the day I bought it."

"You mentioned that last time we were here, Tanaka," Hazō said with a smile. "It's still good to hear."

"Did I? Well, I'm getting on. I'm thinking about retiring, you know. Maybe at the turn of summer. Leave the business to my boy."

"You said that last time as well." Hazō couldn't keep from chuckling now.

"Did I? See, I definitely need to retire!"

"You can't!" Kagome-sensei said, sounding so horrified that Tanaka paused to look up.

"You can't retire!" Kagome-sensei said, repeating himself with an absolutely stricken expression. "No one else gets the cherry-infused syrup in the right proportions to the hickory essence."

"Well, it certainly won't be for a bit yet, M'Lord. And it's really just a thought. We'll see. If I may say, you both seem very happy." He slid the neatly-arranged bowl of chocolate-coated fruit over to both Lords and went back to making the hot chocolates.

"You absolutely may say that," Hazō said, grinning. "I just now finished a research project that I've been thinking about forever. A seal research project."

"And he didn't even tear the world open even once!"

Tanaka's smile slipped a little bit. "That's good," he managed. "May I ask what the new seal does?"

Hazō shrugged and mimed buttoning his lips closed. "Classified," he said apologetically. Out of long experience he grabbed Kagome-sensei's arm before his mentor could say anything like 'and it absolutely is not a seal that lets you detect chakra being used, because that would be incredibly useful but it totally is not what we invented.'

It was always comforting, Hazō told himself, to know that he would never be the worst secret-keeper in the family.

Tanaka's smiled as he handed the two mugs of hot chocolate across the counter. "Well, I'm sure it's something wonderful that will save lots of lives. Thank you for your service."

Hazō took the hot chocolate and sipped a tiny bit, allowing the delicate ambrosia to roll softly over his palette. "Mmmmm. Thank you for your service, Gramps."





XP AWARD: 45 This update covered 9 days.

Brevity XP: 1

"GM had fun" XP: 1

  • +1 for scene: Talking with Cannai


There will be no voting. @Velorien already has a plan for Thursday.
 
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Chapter 373: A Matter of Custom
Chapter 373: A Matter of Custom

It was late at night by the time Noburi had finished admiring and stowing away his presents (and if he'd spent a decent chunk of that time in front of the mirror, experimenting with the coat, the pendant, and the scarf in combination with the rest of his wardrobe, that was nothing more than respecting the givers' feelings), but there was one more thing to do before he could feel the day was done. He needed to ask Yuno about that blindfold. Isan's customs were complex and many-layered, and he wasn't clear on whether the strip of cloth was something you hung on a wall as a treasured possession, took with you to formal storytelling events (did Leaf have anything like that? He'd have to check it out), or wore whenever you were telling a story, on pain of invoking Kanda Yukari's curse. Not that he expected Kanda's ghost to care much about some random foreigner wearing a blindfold not made in Isan and not bestowed in an Isan ritual, but Yuno might, and Noburi would concede a point to Hyūga before he let himself insult the spirit of her gift. It was no longer an hour for visiting people—Hazō would already be fast asleep, Kagome would have his private security measures up and ready to incinerate, and Keiko's room, while currently unused, still had a copy of the List stuck next to the door as a reminder—but Yuno was a poor sleeper, for reasons that didn't take a Yamanaka to guess at, so there was every chance she was still awake, and would be grateful for a distraction.

And awake she was. Awake, fully-dressed, and in the process of writing a letter, as best he could guess from the glimpse of the desk behind her.

"Noburi?!" Yuno exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to ask you about your present," Noburi said. "Can I come in?"

Yuno stepped back to let him in, and that was when Noburi began to get a sense that something was off.

"This seems like a strange time to go on a journey," he said carefully. "Did I miss something?"

The enormous, heavy-duty rucksack was Yuno's favourite, and she never got tired of telling the story of how she'd won it gambling with a yakuza group during her wanderings across the continent (even Mari had had trouble getting the blood out of the fabric). It was also currently full to bursting, while the shelves of her room stood bare.

"I was in the middle of writing you a note," Yuno said. "These things are best done in writing. This is known."

"Well, I'm here now," Noburi said. "Could you please tell me what's going on?"

"Here," Yuno said. "It's probably simplest to show you these."

The first letter bore the Tower's seal. Noburi, still dazed, skimmed it quickly. "Troubling reports from Tea… condition of Leaf citizenship… ceremony by the end of the month…"

The letter sent a chill through him. This was it. A deadline. His time was running out. He'd known that he was going to marry her, once and for all, but in his mind it had been somewhere in the nebulous "future", and now that future had suddenly barged into reality, waiting for him mere weeks away. Could he really prepare himself so fast? Did he even have a choice?

Wait. Before he could start panicking about that, there was a second letter. Unlike the Hokage's, it didn't contain any ominous hints that he could spot, or imply dire consequences for refusal, but for all that, it was by far the more terrifying.

Dearest Yuno,

I enjoyed having tea with you the other day. Thank you for being patient with my cousin—Neji is a good man, but hopeless in affairs of the heart. I assure you, he feels the deepest affection for you, and just doesn't know how to express it.

Still, as one woman to another, I'm sure you must be frustrated with his uncertainty and indecisiveness. That's why I've decided to honour my duty as his clan head and lend him the strength of my resolve. I have given him the order to marry you. Neji may not understand a woman's heart, but he is both loyal and dutiful. I know that once you two are married, he will strive his hardest to make you happy.

If you are prepared to accept his feelings, then please come to the Hyūga compound whenever you're ready. We have already prepared a room for you, and our astrologer is busy calculating the most auspicious days for the wedding.

I can't wait to welcome you into our family.

With heartfelt fondness,

Hyūga Hinata


Noburi had been stupid to dismiss Hyūga just because his would-be rival was unsightly, impenetrably dense, possessed of the seduction talents of a dead fish, and virulently xenophobic. This had always been about more than him and Yuno. This was about politics, and politics was a game between clans. He'd forgotten, somehow, that the entire plan of Yuno marrying into Leaf had been concocted by Hyūga Hiashi, and that it hadn't even been intended to be a competition until Yuno's unresolved feelings had entered the picture.

"When?" he asked.

"They came while you were away at the mine," Yuno said. "Really, I should have gone then, but… I guess Neji wasn't the only one who needed more resolve."

"Y-You're serious," Noburi said. "You're choosing to marry Hyūga instead of me. Yuno, why? What can he possibly have that I don't?"

"He wants to marry me," Yuno said simply. "Or at least, he will marry me, and then I can make sure it's what he wants. Satsuko has all kinds of ideas for how."

"Yuno, I want to marry you!" Noburi exclaimed. "By myself, without my clan head having to bully me into it!"

Yuno gave a small, sad smile. "No, Noburi, you don't. I wish it hadn't taken me so long to understand."

"What? Why would you ever say that?"

"Noburi," Yuno said, "I've been here for half a year. You could have taken me to the Betrothal Stone at any time. Instead, you just kept… having fun. It's been nice, but I've spent too long waiting. It seems like the Hokage agrees."

"B-But Yuno," Noburi sputtered, "you must know Leaf doesn't have a Betrothal Stone. That's an Isan custom!"

Yuno slowly sat down on the bed. "I'm not stupid, Noburi. I know Leaf can be a very uncivilised place. But what did you do? Did you stand outside my window reciting the Seeker's Poem from memory from dusk to dawn without getting a single syllable wrong or falling asleep? Did you offer me a wreath of bloodflowers with their venom drained into a chalice? Did you sneak into the Occult Chamber and leave a sacrifice for me on the forbidden altar?"

Noburi stared at her. "Yuno, how am I supposed to do any of those things? I never learned the Seeker's Poem, I don't think bloodflowers grow near Leaf, and I've never even heard of the one with the Occult Chamber."

"So what did you do?" Yuno asked. "Leaf must have its own barbaric customs. You could even have followed one of Mist's barbaric customs instead—it's not as if that makes a difference to me."

Noburi wasn't actually sure what Mist's barbaric customs were. The older generation probably did, but for as long as Noburi had been alive, and as far as he knew, the "proper" way to get married was to submit a joint application to the Mizukage's Office and have it approved. The Mizukage had disdained superstition, and had not acknowledged the kami, the ancestors, or fate itself to have authority above that of his bureaucracy.

Leaf's barbaric customs weren't clear to him either, now he thought about it. Both Mari and Keiko's marriages had been ordered by a higher authority (the Hokage and the clan head respectively). None of the parties involved had ever needed to do anything to make sure they got married, other than turn up on the day. Beyond that, Noburi had never really been interested.

But before any of that…

"First of all," he demanded, "why would you expect me to do any of that stuff? This whole setup was about you choosing who you wanted for your husband. You already knew I wanted to marry you."

A wry, subtly pained expression crossed her face. "Why are there marriage customs at all? Asking someone in front of the Betrothal Stone means publicly appealing to the ancestors for their blessing, knowing they might curse you if your heart isn't pure, or you're aiming too far above your station, or you secretly love another. Reciting the Seeker's Poem proves you're ready and able to push yourself to the limit for your loved one's affection. Gathering bloodflowers in bloom means you're willing to risk both your life and your sanity to prove yourself. Every custom is a way to tell the other person who you are, and who you think they are, how much you care about marrying them, and how much you care about doing it right. For yourself, for your village, and for your children, so that you can be a good parent and your children won't end up unclean.

"Do you remember when you asked me if I was single in front of the Betrothal Stone? My heart sang, because finally, finally, everything was going to be right. Then you and Grandfather reminded me who and where I was. I wasn't born to be happy, or to make others happy. I don't know why I was.

"Lady Hinata's offer is 'right'. It's not romantic, and it's not what I dreamed of, but the head of a clan speaks with the voice of the founders. That's a custom every ninja everywhere has to believe in."

Noburi stared at her, aghast. "Do you even want to marry him?"

"It was always going to be someone like him," Yuno said. "I mean, not that I expected to marry anyone at all, never mind a Summoner, but he's a good match for me. His hatred just needs honing into something sharper. It's not enough to be angry at the world—that just means you're not lying to yourself about what you see. You have to hate, and that hatred has to be focused if it's going to give you the strength to live. Otherwise, it just leaks away through the cracks and leaves you empty. I can teach him. I think it'll feel good to have something to give for once."

She looked down at Satsuko. Her gaze lingered, and Noburi could have sworn that for a tiny fraction of a second it did so without its usual warm affection. She looked up again.

"I don't think he'll let me see colours… but I guess that's fine. It's not like I miss them that much anyway."

The sense of wrongness was all-pervading. It was like smoke suffusing the room, wispy and grey, but ever ready to turn deeper and darker.

Noburi couldn't let this happen. It was a matter of instinct, beyond any attempt to judge whether she was right or wrong. Yuno would not be happy with Hyūga. Or worse, she would be, because facing the light hurt when your eyes were used to the dark, and with him, she could make her peace with turning her back and walking deeper into the darkness.

Screw custom. If the "right" thing to do for Yuno was to keep going on the path she'd been following all her life, then he would make sure she did the wrong thing, and keep doing it until that became right. If there was one thing Hazō had taught him, it was that nothing was set in stone. Hazō had shown him that if you fought hard enough, the common sense of the shinobi world could be overturned. The place where you made your stand would be home to a new common sense of its own, and what was once impossible would become the new default.

But the price would be Noburi marrying Yuno. It felt like the end. Noburi had never even had a girlfriend—Yuno herself had been the closest, in a relationship that had been a lie from day one. There were countless experiences he had never had and would never have. Countless people—countless kinds of people—he'd never get to try dating. Forget the harem; with Yuno, he wasn't even sure he'd be allowed to have female friends. What else would change? What else would he no longer get a say in after the ceremony? What would he do when things went wrong and there was no longer anywhere to run?

He hadn't thought about it before. He hadn't wanted to. It seemed like everything was working out, and it seemed like it would carry on forever. He'd known that there was a deadline looming on the horizon, and a choice to be made, but he'd done everything he could not to make it. Other people's lives were his business, and his own was doing perfectly fine on autopilot.

The choice was here now, and it paralysed him. He could say nothing. He could do nothing, and then Yuno would become a Hyūga, and maybe that would be good enough. Things would stay the same. He would continue having a life. Who could blame him?

And the idea of marrying someone so he could save them? It was crazy talk to begin with. He was just Gōketsu Noburi. What did he know about the depths of the human heart? When she talked about seeing colours, how could someone like him even know what that meant, much less how to give them back to her after a lifetime of abuse had taken them away? The idea that he could fix anything just by being the one to marry her was so arrogant it was a miracle the granite floor wasn't collapsing under the weight of his ego.

Yuno stood up to throw away the farewell letter she no longer needed. There was a weariness to her motions.

Noburi could have said goodbye then, once and for all, but he was missing something.

Noburi had a very sharp sense for when people were missing something (he wondered if it was in the bloodline of the resupply clan). Sometimes it was a well-chosen compliment. Sometimes it was a mediator for people talking past each other, or a forgotten umbrella, or a joke to lighten the mood. Often it was a mug of hot chocolate.

What was it that Noburi was missing right now?

He studied Yuno as she turned to face him, drinking in every detail as though it was his last chance, because maybe it was. Her long, smooth pink hair, with its two adorable hair ties (she'd changed the straight ribbons out for criss-crossing ones after a few months in Leaf, and he and Akane were the only ones who'd noticed). Her skin, naturally pale but with an eternal slight tan from all the outdoor training. Her muscles, strong and supple, clearly defined without bulging out. Her breasts, offering tantalising hints of grandeur beyond what her usual outfits outlined (though he knew full well what would happen if he ever tried to put himself in a position to find out). Her waist, inexplicably slim given her healthy appetite. Satsuko, as much a part of her as any other, gleaming with a sinister light as if to say, "You know there is only one way things can end between us". And finally, Yuno's eyes, bottomless pools that held everything from gentle pink affection to the passionate red of endlessly-pouring blood.

Noburi was officially the dumbest man alive. He made Hyūga look like a radiant pillar of intellect. He'd got the damaged half of the brain the ancestors split between him and Yasuji. He was the anti-Keiko.

Forget what he stood to lose by marrying her. Forget whether he could save her. The most important question, the question he should have asked first, was how Gōketsu Noburi felt about Gasai Yuno.

"Stay here," he told her urgently. "Don't move a muscle. Pretend all the asuras in the world are lurking on the other side of this door, waiting for you to make a move. I'll be back in one minute."


Ten minutes later, he stood before a puzzled-looking Yuno, box in hand.

"Yuno," he began, "maybe it's too late for me to say this—actually, scratch that, it's way too late for me to say this—but I'm going to say it anyway, because it's the truth, and I won't forgive myself if I don't make sure you hear it.

"You're more than I thought one person could be. You were born beautiful, but then you add your own effort on top, and suddenly your looks become hypnotic. I could just sit and watch you for hours if you'd let me.

"You're loving and warm, even after everything that's happened to you. I could be a blind man, and I'd still be drawn to you for the way you try to make people happy without asking whether they deserve it.

"You're strong, impossibly strong. You lived in an abyss where the pressure crushes everything, and you came out of it not just uncrushed but by far one of the strongest people I know. I'd call you a role model for facing adversity if I thought I could ever survive what you did.

"You're strong in the other sense too. You have a perfect killer instinct, you treat fear as a friend, and every time I see you, your axe swings are just that little bit more powerful and precise and terrifying. One day you're going to be a monster, and on that day I'll be even gladder than today that you're a master of keeping monsters under control.

"You feel things deeply. So many ninja let themselves become callous to take away the pain, but you've kept your heart open against all the odds. You told me you don't miss colours, but that's a lie. It hurts you to know that the colours are there when you can't see them, but you still choose to live in a world where they're real, and that may be the most beautiful thing of all about you.

"You said that the point of a marriage custom is to tell you who I am, and who I think you are, and how much I care about marrying you, and how much I care about doing it right. Then this is my marriage custom, unique to Gōketsu Noburi, to be used once and once only."

He stretched out his hands, resting the slim wooden box on his upturned palms.

"My first teacher gave this to me, at the beginning of the path I chose for myself. I want to walk the rest of that path together with you. Gasai Yuno, this is the key to my heart. Please accept it."

Silently, Yuno opened the box. Inside lay Hashimoto-sensei's scalpel, polished with a gleam as bright as Satsuko's was dark.

"You were right," she whispered after a second. "I had missed them."

With the utmost care, she put the box on the desk behind her.

Then, she finally embraced barbarian rules of courtship and hugged him so hard it hurt.

-o-​

Gasai Yuno
Looks: *****
Pros: Beautiful, caring, sensitive, enduring, older girl
Cons: Wrong village, occasionally scary, already broke her heart

-o-
There was a note with Hinata's letter to Yuno. Hinata gives you advance warning that the Hagoromo have stated they will not be conducting any weddings for the Gōketsu Clan until you offer a formal apology for making them bless Keiko's marriage "in violation of their faith". She adds that, per tradition, all Leaf weddings are conducted by Hagoromo priests, or priests directly affiliated with them.

-o-​

What do you do?

Voting closes on Saturday 19th of September, 9 a.m. New York time.
 
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