Remove ads

Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

Reader mode
Oneiros said:
Cut the Misc section down to help with word count. Sorry @Sentient Tree
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Here's a somewhat shortened version (270 words). Dunno how much of the Misc. section you cut out, but I think it could work.

That being said...I wouldn't agree with the mention of Team Gai, for various reasons. Hazou's interest in Lee aside, I don't think the rest of the clan (esp. Noburi, who would certainly not appreciate Noda being looked over after all his hard work) would agree, unless our plan is to adopt her as well and also ask what Noburi's B-list is first. Mentioning Tenten and Keiko...My impression of Neji is that he would do a U-turn and start spitting about how Keiko is corrupting Tenten and <insert xenophobic and/or homophobic vitriol here>.
Time period: 3 days
  • Dogs:
    • Manufacture bags and sleds, then deliver to Canoe.
    • Spend some time paying our respect to Kakashi with them.
      • Specifically to any dogs he had as summons or knew well.
    • See if we can meet more of the clan and learn their culture.
      • Consult with the Inuzuka to try to find the best method to interact with them
    • If we prove our worth to Cannai and bond with the dogs try to find summons to contract
  • Meet with Neji at the Naked Jaybird
    • Optimize with Keiko and Mari (-1FP, invoke "Lists and Plans" during the conversation)
      • Make sure the menu is customized to Neji's taste.
    • We'd like to discuss Seventh Path trade:
      • If all the summoners in Konoha work together, we can create an instantaneous transportation network between all the clans and anywhere in Fire, allowing them to become vastly wealthy.
      • We could also sell an exclusive contract with companies to increase our profits:
      • We would split the profits evenly between each summoner and the trade network.
        • (e.g., 4 summoners: Each summoner gets 20% with 20% going to the trade network)
    • Talking points:
      • This is between fellow summoners, not between clans:
        • Only those of us who have travelled through the Paths are worthy (-1FP, tag "Fellow Summoners")
      • This will also keep Team Gai close:
        • Lee is on our short list for next year's adoption.
        • TenTen and Keiko are incredibly close.
  • Begin looking through Jiariya's journals for information on Orochimaru.
  • Misc:
    • Continue seal research.
      • If we finish Chakdar move on to LBF
    • Task Mari with acquiring all the grape producing land
    • Noburi should recruit more summons
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
 
faflec said:
Here's a somewhat shortened version (270 words). Dunno how much of the Misc. section you cut out, but I think it could work.

That being said...I wouldn't agree with the mention of Team Gai, for various reasons. Hazou's interest in Lee aside, I don't think the rest of the clan (esp. Noburi, who would certainly not appreciate Noda being looked over after all his hard work) would agree, unless our plan is to adopt her as well and also ask what Noburi's B-list is first. Mentioning Tenten and Keiko...My impression of Neji is that he would do a U-turn and start spitting about how Keiko is corrupting Tenten and <insert xenophobic and/or homophobic vitriol here>.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Thanks. While I agree that the Keiko/TenTen is a bit risky I (and will cut it) I think leaving the Lee line is important. He is def on our short list for next year though since we will have to slots and only have Noda left from Noburi's list
 
Last edited:
Oneiros said:
Thanks. While I agree that the Keiko/TenTen is a bit risky I (and will cut it) I think leaving the Lee line is important. He is def on our short list for next year though since we will have to slots and only have Noda left from Nonuri's list
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Fair enough, though I think it may be prudent to check with Noburi regarding what his B-list was.

Side note: Would be interesting to see if we are competing with the Kei Clan for Lee, given how many adoption slots they have and his relevance with YOUTH (i.e., a part of Leaf's curriculum) and all...
 
I don't understand the point of giving away our intention to adopt Lee?

[X] Action plan: Finish Our Damn Side Projects.
Time period: 3 days


  • Dogs:
    • Manufacture bags and sleds, then deliver to Canoe.
    • Spend some time paying our respect to Kakashi with them.
      • Specifically to any dogs he had as summons or knew well.
    • See if we can meet more of the clan and learn their culture.
      • Consult with the Inuzuka to try to find the best method to interact with them
    • If we prove our worth to Cannai and bond with the dogs try to find summons to contract
  • Meet engineering teams for various projects. (toilets,skyslider, sewer, aqueduct)
    • Review their status, what they are currently stuck on, what they need etc.
      • Provide resources as needed.
    • Listen to their problems. Let them explain their engineering challenges. It may help them get unstuck.
    • Giving rousing speech as needed.
    • Skyslider:
      • Hire a ninja who could generate winds on demand.
      • Suggest using smoke to illustrate the flow.
    • Offer every team a free night at the Naked Jaybird.
  • Begin looking through Jiariya's journals for information on Orochimaru
  • Misc:
    • Continue seal research.
      • If we finish Chakdar move on to LBF
    • Task Mari with acquiring all the grape producing land
    • Noburi should recruit more summons
 
Last edited:
Inserted tally
Adhoc vote count started by eaglejarl on Aug 7, 2020 at 5:39 PM, finished with 96 posts and 11 votes.
Click to expand...
 
[X] Action plan: Finish Our Damn Side Projects.
[X] Action plan: A gossamer web with sunlight illuminating it
 
*skims plan*
Oneiros said:
Talking points:
  • This is between fellow summoners, not between clans:
    • Only those of us who have travelled through the Paths are worthy (-1FP, tag "Fellow Summoners")
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

I feel like intent here is more aligned with "We are primarily here in our capacity as Summoners and not wearing our other political hats. This deal is ultimately between us as individuals in that capacity— though if you decide to shovel money at your clan, thats your decision. "

I'm not sure how to tinker with the phrasing efficiently to make it come off as such.
 
MMKII said:
*skims plan*


I feel like intent here is more aligned with "We are primarily here in our capacity as Summoners and not wearing our other political hats. This deal is ultimately between us as individuals in that capacity— though if you decide to shovel money at your clan, thats your decision. "

I'm not sure how to tinker with the phrasing efficiently to make it come off as such.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Yeah that's the vibe I'm going for but don't have a better way to express it
 
Velorien said:
What was he saying? He was well outside the territory of his mother's advice or his paltry imitation of Noburi.

Hazō studied Yamanaka's face as he took another bite of he-didn't-even-care-what to give him time to think before speaking. What did he want Yamanaka to do? What did he want Yamanaka to be? It might have been a selfish question, but it wasn't like he could answer it from any perspective but his own.

"I want you to deal with me as Gōketsu Hazō," he decided. "Not as Akane's ex. If Akane needs you to mediate, or to act on her behalf, you know she'll ask for it. She's that kind of person. Until then, I'd rather you got to know me as me. If you have any complaints after that, I'll listen."
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Maybe some variant of this, like: "I want to deal with you as Neji, the Summoner. Not as Neji, the Hyuga."??
 
Cariyaga said:
Hm... I'll bet we could swing it by putting it to him as a question. Would he rather we go above his head to Hinata, or would he rather talk to us as equals?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
On second thought, maybe it would be best if we didn't mention the Hyuga or Hinata directly. From his internal monologue, Neji seems to view the Hyuga clan to be the pinnacle of superior being, and seems to compare himself to what a 'true' Hyuga. Which, I would imagine, includes loyalty. Even if he doesn't make the connection himself, he certainly would get it in his head if we mention it to him.

Instead, maybe something like..."We wish to speak to you as just your fellow Summoners."? It emphasizes the focus on Summoners, and not as clans, while still avoiding direct mention of clans.
 
faflec said:
Instead, maybe something like..."We wish to speak to you as just your fellow Summoners."? It emphasizes the focus on Summoners, and not as clans, while still avoiding direct mention of clans.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

You can't really divorce those things, Hiashi bought this Summoning scroll, Hinata can just simply argue that Neji owe's her and the rest of the clan. Additionally, Neji takes pride in being a Hyuuga (as you said) and so he will likely go to Hinata and/or other Hyuuga with this anyway.

@Oneiros, Why not invite Hinata along? (If we bring Keiko we might also need to invite Shikamaru, but he will probably just leave this up to Keiko).

Regardless of what we want, she is his clan head.

Oneiros said:
This is between fellow summoners, not between clans:
  • Only those of us who have travelled through the Paths are worthy (-1FP, tag "Fellow Summoners")
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

I also don't like that we are spending another FP in this conversation and Neji could easily take this as an insult to his clan.

Oneiros said:
See if we can meet more of the clan and learn their culture.
  • Consult with the Inuzuka to try to find the best method to interact with them
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Asking them about Dog behavior in general isn't much of a problem, but I doubt we will really learn about them as people, maybe change this to: "Consult with the Inzuka about Human Path dog behavior (like body language)"

The wording in general just bothers me, those two beings aren't exaclty the same, and "Learn about their culture" and "best method to interact with them"(via normal dogs) is just a bit weird.
 
PSA: Progress report on the chakdar seals!

What we understand them to be:

chapter 219 afterword said:
Keiko has suggested that you could partially compensate for these secondary effects by improving the seal to respond differently to different intensities of detected chakra emission. This would allow you to make educated guesses as to what abilities your enemies were using (as well as recognise and filter out familiar reactions to your own), and avoid distraction from low-level effects like tree walking without missing them altogether.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Before his experience with the Summoning Scroll, Hazō was completely lost and pretty much thrashing around. Since reading it and internalizing his experience with the Out, everything sealing-related has become far clearer. He estimates that he is about half done, with essentially all of the progress coming from the two research attempts he has made since reading the Scroll. He feels that he can probably complete the work in another week or two of concentrated effort.
 
Last edited:
@Oneiros Dunno if you can make the change in the next 15 or so minutes, but I would like this:
Oneiros said:
This is between fellow summoners, not between clans:
  • Only those of us who have travelled through the Paths are worthy (-1FP, tag "Fellow Summoners")
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
To be changed to something more like:
We wish to have this conversation just as Summoners (-1FP, tag "Fellow Summoners").
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I think it would handle some of the concerns expressed in the thread.
 
Reader mode
You must login or register to reply here.
Remove ads
Back
Top