Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
Ren: Why that cousin brat when you could have invited me, your aunt!
- Location
- Europe
Hazou: "Birthday presents are serious Goketsu business"
[X/2] Action Plan: Shins and Spynetworks
Can we finally give Ami a Cat toy with a vibrator seal for purring-function? She is practically family now! @MMKII
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
I am open to trying to finagle this but I dont think it could be done in this plan.
I'll pre-commit to hugging her in the next meeting. Hugs are fine on the third date.
- Location
- Europe
>:|
Fine.
[X] Action Plan: Shins and Spynetworks
Still want to give out toys.
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
We can disturb her. We have the technology.
- Location
- Poland
- Pronouns
- He/Him
...
Can we visit Nara?
Or wait no don't. He'll spend a full week of hours for anyone to help him get away from those monsters PLEASE.
[X] Gaming night. Invite Zabuza+Extra.
I approve of any plan that invites Zabuza to the meeting.
He might not be related by blood, but memetically he's Hivemind's second uncle, right after Kagome.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Alternatively:
HAZOU: Okay, so you can be the bard, you can be the cleric, you can be the fighter, and I guess you can be the warlock?
AMI: You just gave me four distinct character sheets.
HAZOU: Yes. Actually, I forgot, you're the druid too. I think theres just enough left for everyone else now.
AMI: I am going to roleplay five different characters at the same time?
HAZOU: Is that a problem?
AMI: Bring it on.
It's like a piece of cake for her, she does it every day.
HAZOU: Okay, so you can be the bard, you can be the cleric, you can be the fighter, and I guess you can be the warlock?
AMI: You just gave me four distinct character sheets.
HAZOU: Yes. Actually, I forgot, you're the druid too. I think theres just enough left for everyone else now.
AMI: I am going to roleplay five different characters at the same time?
HAZOU: Is that a problem?
AMI: Bring it on.
It's like a piece of cake for her, she does it every day.
Last edited:
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
- Screw you, Hazou. We're totally inviting Zabuza to the games night. Also, we should allow him to bring a friend.
- Can we send him fan mail asking for an autograph? "We've enjoyed being hunted by you"? Would need to make sure it doesn't come across as mockery/taunting, or some weird attempt to ask for mercy.
- During the games night, we'll need to mess with Ami/other overcompetent players by giving them opportunities to overreach. Along the lines of @MMKII's idea above, with letting them control several characters simultaneously.
- It'll be a headache to manage, but I'm sure Hazou is up to the task.
Below is the modified version of your plan: with reduced wordcount, tweaked wording, and a search for the Akatsuki book. Take it or leave it.
- Spend morning at the market:
- Shop around.
- Network:
- Approach merchants, craftsmen, book collectors. Look for performers/musicians around taverns.
- Collectors: discreetly ask about the Akatsuki Book (it's possibly banned, or doesn't mention Akatsuki directly).
- Draft them into your Intel Network, presenting it as a "joint business venture" with our clan.
- Offer writs of patronage, price guarantees, partial financial backing, other minor promises.
- Direct interested parties to the Gouketsu compound in Leaf. Preferred timetable: within the next two months.
- Guidelines:
- Prioritize those you've approached previously. Glassblowers, salt/spice merchants, brewers, others.
- Work out a bad/good cop routine with Noburi and Keiko. Use it on new/wary targets.
- Goal: 24 merchants, 3-4 bards, 1-2 performing troupes.
- Approach merchants, craftsmen, book collectors. Look for performers/musicians around taverns.
- Lunch with Shin.
- Guidelines:
- Observe OPSEC, stay alert, avoid hard commitments.
- Be confident. Shin isn't a jounin.
- He is a silver-tongued viper. Maintain mental balance. Respond to taunts/manipulations with dry amusement.
- Start the interaction amicably.
- Minor flexing: casually name-drop Ami for the regulars' menu. Mention your promotion, ask about his.
- Elaborate on your offer/intentions:
- Cooperation was our motto during the exams. We're here to build bridges.
- We're offering an enormous boost to his career, and a distant opportunity to convince us that the Kurosawa Clan is halfway decent.
- (As a callback, order a bottle of Kurohige's Revenge and two glasses (shallow pours, save the rest).)
- Invite to the games night.
- Guidelines:
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Thank you very much.
I am in favor of both of these.
- Location
- Italy
Yeah, we need to put some help in the vote for the gaming night, or Hazou is going to die from exhaustion.
The idea is wonderful, but it still lacks a pissed off Ren, so i'm divided.
On one side, i really want Ren out of the game night, because it's Ren.
On the other, it's a really cool idea, and we cannot leave the Mizukage out of the night when inviting the other Kage.
Is there something we can do to throw some shades at her?
On this
But if we're searching for the best DnD way to GM Ami and the other Jonins:
-Make 2/ 5/10/20(Depends on how many Hazou can learn/Has on hand) ways to mechanically GM the session and then switch at random between such ways.
-All said ways should be generally fair and balanced, aka optimal decision-->optimal results.
-Switch at random, every time, between ways.
-The order will be decided by us:[Insert order]
-If someone learn the order, or guess correctly for 5 time, change order with the following:
-Insert orders[Two or three set, of orders, or more]
+
other countermeasures
TRY TO CHEAT THIS SYSTEM,AMI! ^_^ I'm joking...maybe
The idea is wonderful, but it still lacks a pissed off Ren, so i'm divided.
On one side, i really want Ren out of the game night, because it's Ren.
On the other, it's a really cool idea, and we cannot leave the Mizukage out of the night when inviting the other Kage.
Is there something we can do to throw some shades at her?
On this
But if we're searching for the best DnD way to GM Ami and the other Jonins:
-Make 2/ 5/10/20(Depends on how many Hazou can learn/Has on hand) ways to mechanically GM the session and then switch at random between such ways.
-All said ways should be generally fair and balanced, aka optimal decision-->optimal results.
-Switch at random, every time, between ways.
-The order will be decided by us:[Insert order]
-If someone learn the order, or guess correctly for 5 time, change order with the following:
-Insert orders[Two or three set, of orders, or more]
+
other countermeasures
TRY TO CHEAT THIS SYSTEM,AMI! ^_^ I'm joking...maybe
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
I do see it as a two birds one stone type thing. Book collectors will be useful to have.
They'll come in handy as contacts if we need to dig up some ancient lore for the summoning scroll search. Theres gotta be a dusty Doom Temple around here somewhere with a shiny Panther Summoning Scroll in the back closet...
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
[X] Action Plan: Shins and Spynetworks
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
That's why we stopped asking after Noburi's family after the first time, right?
We know that it is Globally Forbidden Literature. Please think through how someone you just met that is offering you a boon asking after Globally Forbidden Literature will come across, both to the recipient of the offer, and to any watchers.
Why can't we just ask Jiraiya?
Also, just get the book collectors to send "interesting" books of any kind.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Bookshops keepers get nervous about that kind of stuff. Best to ask Yaks for that.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
What, you think that any of these fascist, dictatorial nations would allow insurrectionist literature to circulate?
Chapter 253 Addendum
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Chapter 253 Addendum
Keiko was taking longer than he anticipated, which was probably a good sign. He suspected that if Mori had invited her in order to give her a final rejection, Keiko would have been back already, and in tears. Unless she went to the Seventh Path again. Or did something drastic. In retrospect, they should have pushed harder for permission to escort her.
There was the sound of a door opening. Hazō leapt up.
"Keiko? How did it go? Are you OK?"
"Yes," Keiko said woodenly.
"You don't sound OK."
"After the disorientation of the initial event, the information available to my brain has finally filtered through to my heart—which, being a feeble and dysfunctional organ at the best of times, is struggling to cope. Please do not be alarmed if at some point today you find me spontaneously bursting into tears.
"Although in that event I may find it necessary to silence you as a witness," she added thoughtfully, "in which case perhaps you should be alarmed after all."
"So... everything is back to normal?"
Keiko nodded. "Fear not. The odds are in your favour, since at this moment I feel whatever is the opposite of homicidal towards you."
Her voice warmed a little. "Your clumsy blundering in some way prompted Ami to re-evaluate the situation, and she has ceased to distance herself from me. I would hug you if the idea were not viscerally repellent."
"That bad, huh?"
"Like inviting giant millipedes to crawl all over my body. In addition, I have issues regarding physical contact."
"Very funny. So what on earth made her do something so crazy?"
"The details are unimportant. What matters is that her reasoning was entirely rational and ultimately focused on my well-being, and that the apparent severing of ties was not in itself my fault. It is deeply regrettable that we have only reached this understanding now, when I am about to leave Mist and must thus busy myself with final preparations instead of spending entire days in her company."
Gōketsu Keiko refuses to provide information that might conceivably put her sister in a bad light, while simultaneously justifying clearly terrible decisions on said sister's part. Never mind. He wouldn't ruin her good mood with common sense.
"What are these final preparations?" Hazō asked.
"If I can find Anna, I believe I have some words for her on the subject of rebuilding relationships. Beyond that, I am entirely at your disposal. You have assisted me with my unresolved business in Mist—it is only fair for me to assist with yours.
"Additionally, Ami requested that I inform you she now owes you a favour. This is a great power, and I fear for the future of this world should you misuse it. In other words, it can be filed next to most of your sealing ideas."
Hazō laughed.
"Now, Hazō, provide me with a plan to optimise. We have work to do."
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Fascinating.
