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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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Inb4 Shinji is secretly Madara, aka Dummy, carrying out his secret spare body breeding programme.

EDIT: Which means we should kill ourselves ASAP to unlock Mangekyo Iron Nerve.
 
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We never did see Shinji's body. For all we know he's been hanging out with Orochimaru as a half-corpse.
 
eaglejarl said:
What to do after the tournament would be a good idea. Do you want to:

  • Stay in Mist?
  • Go to Mountain?
  • Go on a tour of the Element Nations...
    • In order to interact with the peasants? How?
    • As guards for a traveling merchant?
    • As part of the guard force on a diplomatic mission?
  • Go back to Leaf...
    • And research? What?
    • And hire people to do till'n'fill missions?
    • And go on a tour of Fire? Why?
  • Something else
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:thonk: LETS GO FIND NARUTO! There's no way this can go wrong.

:thonk: Wait a minute. Are you guys trying to reverse cannon and make us go on a long adventure to find naruto, just like the series chased edgelord for years?
 
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Kalkin said:
:thonk: LETS GO FIND NARUTO! There's no way this can go wrong.

:thonk: Wait a minute. Are you guys trying to reverse cannon and make us go on a long adventure to find naruto, just like the series chased edgelord for years?
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Seeing as you know where he is (or at least who has him), it could turn out to be a very short adventure.
 
The secret of the Kurosawa bloodline is that the most pure heir will elope with their lover if political situation isn't right.

The Kurosawa elders, being the dumbass they are, failed to realize this.
 
Omake: The Best Kind Of Mission

Velorien said:
She hadn't been back from their fight on the castle ramparts for five minutes before her father found her. His expression was colder than ice.

"You will explain."

Yuri's heart stopped. He was holding her personal scroll, unfurled to the section with her most agonised, pleading poems. She'd referred to Ryōma by name.
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"My next attack."
Her father raised an eyebrow, but let her continue.
"I've been trying to kill Senju directly for two years now, yet each time he manages to slip away" Yuri continued, fighting to keep her voice steady and continue meeting her father's eyes. "I have decided to try a new approach. Seduction."
Father looked skeptical, and Yuri's brain raced, trying to think up details that would seem plausible. "I'll seduce him, make him love me, bring him to my bed. Then, when he lets his guard down... I'll immolate him."
Father's eyes betrayed nothing of his thoughts. Yuri waited, trying to breathe normally. Eventually Father spoke.
"And you believe that asking him to," He looked back at the scroll. "'fill you to the brim with his curse so that in your sweet surrender you will no longer be torn in twain' will work?"
It took every bit of willpower Yuri possessed to not breathe a sigh of relief, but she was unable to prevent her embarrassment from making her face imitate the flames she fought with.
"Thaaaaaat's... why I'm practicing! I haven't had any training in subtlety, so I know I have a long way to go before this has a chance of working."
Her father nodded, a faint glint of amusement in his eyes, along with something else she couldn't read. "I must admit, you don't stand much of a chance with this drivel." Before Yuri could react, he casually tossed the scroll into a nearby fire. "But I agree you need to try a new approach. I'll schedule you for seduction training with Lady Ao at dawn."

As she stumbled out of Lady Ao's tent around midnight, Yuri pondered whether there was a jutsu out there for erasing the user's memories...
 
eaglejarl said:
What to do after the tournament would be a good idea. Do you want to:

  • Stay in Mist?
  • Go to Mountain?
  • Go on a tour of the Element Nations...
    • In order to interact with the peasants? How?
    • As guards for a traveling merchant?
    • As part of the guard force on a diplomatic mission?
  • Go back to Leaf...
    • And research? What?
    • And hire people to do till'n'fill missions?
    • And go on a tour of Fire? Why?
  • Something else
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Hmmm. Well, we talked to Ami and didn't die or start WW4, so I'll update my assessment of risks accordingly. I guess I'll throw my vote in for going to Mountain next. Or staying in Mist for more Ami talks, if people think that's necessary.

I'm kind of interested in trying to figure out the politics of Mountain a little better. Plus I want to see how Yuno's doing.
 
eaglejarl said:
What to do after the tournament would be a good idea. Do you want to:

  • Stay in Mist?
  • Go to Mountain?
  • Go on a tour of the Element Nations...
    • In order to interact with the peasants? How?
    • As guards for a traveling merchant?
    • As part of the guard force on a diplomatic mission?
  • Go back to Leaf...
    • And research? What?
    • And hire people to do till'n'fill missions?
    • And go on a tour of Fire? Why?
  • Something else
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
  • Work out our issues with Keiko
    • Actually, work out Keiko's issues in general. Wait, no, not the eye--
 
TarzanNn said:
I think we still need to know what Velorien is going to drop on our heads before deciding what to do next. Probably will save us a lot of time.
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Can you clarify what you mean by this? Are you referring to my next update, the next update (which I will have input on), or the overall future (which I will be partially responsible for)?
 
  • Go to Bear.
    • Do not attempt to find out why you Do Not Go To Bear beforehand. It'll ruin the surprise.
    • Bring some honey as a gift for the bears.
    • Pretend to be a bear.
      • Acquire a bear assistant, and communicate in gestures, using Deceit to pretend you're growling/roaring.
      • Call yourself "Sir Humanington" (or rather its nearest growl equivalent).
 
Velorien said:
Can you clarify what you mean by this? Are you referring to my next update, the next update (which I will have input on), or the overall future (which I will be partially responsible for)?
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I personally am keeping an eye out for the update which you hoped to write but were unable to write and is probably going to be written by eaglejarl, which previous comments have led me to suspect is not the update covering the plan but is rather the update covering the unexpected event that invalidated eaglejarl's first attempt to cover the plan.
 
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