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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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Noumero said:
Indeed. And I'm about to ask the literal yakuza for a copy of the Akatsuki book. Whatever shall I choose as my new goal, once these two are completed? I wonder, I wonder... For some reason, I feel as if everything is possible right now.

Ah. I believe I've decided. I'll get Hazou x Ami to adopt Anna, then we'll use the chief!Hazou — theoretician!Keiko — executor!Ami — fodder!Anna team to study, manipulate, and eventually enslave the Mori Voice.

Time to immanentize the eschaton.
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Actually, no joke, when it comes to our more maximalist goals, leveraging the Mori Voice/ChakraAI to become essentially omnipotent is likely the most realistic method.
 
Noumero said:
I'll get Hazou x Ami to adopt Anna, then we'll use the chief!Hazou — theoretician!Keiko — executor!Ami — fodder!Anna team to study, manipulate, and eventually enslave the Mori Voice.
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More complicated neighborhoods of/near Keiko in the shipping graph?? Yes!

Roomba said:
Actually, no joke, when it comes to our more maximalist goals, leveraging the Mori Voice/ChakraAI to become essentially omnipotent is likely the most realistic method.
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Thats pretty fair.
 
Roomba said:
Actually, no joke, when it comes to our more maximalist goals, leveraging the Mori Voice/ChakraAI to become essentially omnipotent is likely the most realistic method.
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Who was joking? I've been saying that for about half-a-year.

Pff, that post is talking about marrying Ami too. This is not a coincidence because nothing is ever a coincidence. The Scheme is unfolding before our very eyes.
 
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Velorien said:
"Mmm. The emotional-level impact's fading away already—face it, that was all pretty tame compared to the daily grind of leaving friends to die because Intel fucked up and the combat zone was next to a chakra wasp nest—but the good stuff will still be there in the morning.
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The rest of the date has been analysed pretty thoroughly, but I don't remember anyone commenting on this. Could this be reference to the Noodle battle, that she even lost friends there?

Noumero said:
copy of the Akatsuki book.
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Please don't call it the Akatsuki book, when talking to the Oyabun.
 
All of you are talking of how cool Mori Voice tech tree looks like, and I am here, slightly terrified.

After all, if this deal goes, we'll have double the Mori Voice to criticize our plans.

I just imagine those two perfectly synchronized, taking turns in making insightful yet scathing comments, rising eyebrows at one another while making snide comments on Hazou's planning ability (and his performance as a husband/family member).
 
Halberdier said:
Do we know who won them (and there just wasn't a good place to include that in the update); or have we been too busy to even ask; or are those going to be scenes in a future chapter?
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Yes.

Oneiros said:
@eaglejarl @Velorien @OliWhail @faflec what matches are scheduled today and when are they starting
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There's a bracket in the informational threadmarks. I don't remember the specifics offhand.

Noumero said:
Wait, I forgot: when we try to store a seal, does it simply not work, or do b̷ad͡ th͏i̴ng͘s̛ happen?
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Yes.

Rafin said:
@eaglejarl Is that image canon? Because in that case I also vote

[x] Action Plan: Give Jiraiya a hug
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It is not, but...
ContextBot said:
[x][POLL] Make Omake: Better Left Unsaid, Part 1 canon
[x][POLL] Make Omake: Better Left Unsaid, Part 2 canon
[x][POLL] Make Omake: Better Left Unsaid, Part 3 canon

:>
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...it actually would fit into the timeline easily enough. Hm. @Velorien , @OliWhail, what say you?
 
[x][POLL] Make Omake: Better Left Unsaid, Part 1 canon
[x][POLL] Make Omake: Better Left Unsaid, Part 2 canon
[x][POLL] Make Omake: Better Left Unsaid, Part 3 canon

ContextBot said:
Please don't call it the Akatsuki book, when talking to the Oyabun.
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Speaking of which, have we asked Jiraiya about it? It's possible that he's the one who wrote it, after all (unless of course we did ask him about it and I'm just forgetting).
 
While I would certainly be honored if my Omake got canonized, I didn't try to hard to make sure it actually obeyed MfD canon when writing it. For example, I don't actually know if Hazou's notes include notes about Naruto being really useful, or how exactly Hazou feels about Naruto. Or if we've actually passed every mission he's given us with flying colors, and I can't remember exactly what was said during the speech when Hazou tried to get Jiraiya on board with uplift, or when it actually happened.

Parts 2 and 3 can be canonized independently though.

[][POLL] Make Omake: Better Left Unsaid, Part 1 canon
[x][POLL] Make Omake: Better Left Unsaid, Part 2 canon
[x][POLL] Make Omake: Better Left Unsaid, Part 3 canon
 
faflec said:
Minami.
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JIRAIYA: You get a B-.

HAZOU: :(

VOICES IN HAZOU'S HEAD: awww no S+ rating?

MEANWHILE IN THE PURE LAND

NAMELESS CIVILIAN1: This is not where I was expecting this ship to go.

NAMELESS CIVILIAN2: Oh kami, my little Minori is going to grow up an orphan!

NAMELESS CIVILIAN3: Not If those psychopaths get to her.

NAMELESS CIVILIAN1: I just pioneered a new crop that would yield three times the returns!

NAMELESS CIVILIAN4: Momma, when are we going to get to Wave? Grandpa must be lonely and stuff.
 
eaglejarl said:
OMAKE: Better Left Unsaid, Part 2

(Part 1 by @Immortal Lurker)​

Jiraiya studied him carefully. "Say it."

"Sir?"

"I could see the speech writing itself across your face. Maybe more than one. Then you sat on them...which was good. Shows you're developing politically. So go ahead."

"It's fine."

Jiraiya crossed his ankles casually, not looking away. "No harm, no foul. I'd rather hear it now, rude and raw, than have it spew poison later."

Hazō's jaw worked without him telling it to, chewing the words to bits before they could vomit forth in a surging wave of rage and pain. Once they were crushed small enough, he allowed them to come out in a measured trickle.

"It...bothers me that you would suggest I might betray you like that," he said at last. "That I might betray Naruto. What the f--" He bit down hard, cutting the words in half, and took a breath. "What have I ever done that would suggest anything less than complete loyalty? What have I ever not done? There's--" Another pause. "I think I've given exemplary service. As have all of my team. My family. Which I thought you were part of, but apparently you don't think so."

Jiraiya held his gaze for a moment, then nodded. "Fair."

Hazō said nothing, but he didn't look away.

Jiraiya sighed and rubbed his face. "It's reasonable for you to be angry, but I'm not going to apologize." He shook his head in disgust that seemed more inwardly directed than anything else.

"Hazō, I've been a ninja for more than forty years, and the Leaf spymaster for the majority of it. Shoot, I've been the Leaf spymaster since before your mother was born." He chuckled. "I think. I don't actually remember how old your mother is. Maybe she was playing with Baby's First Kunai when I took the job." He chuckled, the sound hollow. "Do you know what the job of a spymaster is?"

"No."

"The job of a spymaster is to protect the village. The main way you do that is to betray people. You make friends so that you can twist those friendships in order to put people on a string, turn them into assets. You sacrifice those assets whenever it provides a sufficient tactical advantage. You spend every minute of every day figuring out how to break the security of everyone around you, and imagining all the ways that your own security could be broken. You're constantly thinking about the fact that no security is impenetrable, which means that someday yours is going to be broken...and that when that happens, people you care about are going to die.

"Then there's the everyday life. There has literally not been a single day in the last twenty years that I haven't spotted someone tailing me. Some of those sightings were even real.

"There's an attempt on my life...." He paused, thinking. "Probably every six weeks or so. After the first five years they stopped sending hitters and looked for alternatives. One time, back when I still used servants, Cloud infected the daughter of my maid with spotted pox. It's got a fairly long incubation period before symptoms show, so the idea was that the daughter would give it to the mother who would give it to me, all before anyone knew what was happening.

"I've had deathweaver spiders in my chamberpot, black rope snakes in my bed...I've been poisoned seven times; the first two, Tsunade saved me. Since then I've kept a variety of antidotes on me at all times. I didn't have an antidote for one of the poisons, but fortunately I didn't get a strong enough dose to actually kill me. I was hallucinating nightmares for seventy-two hours then puking constantly and shitting blood for five weeks. I lost nineteen pounds, looked like a skeleton, but I lived."

He was no longer looking at Hazō; his head lay back against the wall, eyes staring up through the rock to somewhere far off in the halls of memory. "Every time I bed a woman, I check to see if she's got a knife under her pillow or musculature that suggests combat training. I don't bathe without a Toad standing guard, because there isn't a single human being that I trust for that job. I've lost literally everyone I've ever been close to -- Minato died, Oro ran off, Sunny hates me, Sensei died, Naruto was taken, pretty much everyone I went to the Academy with or served with died or is crippled or hates my guts because I put the mission ahead of them."

He looked back at Hazō with eyes that were empty and sad. "So yes, you're justified to be angry, but I'm not going to apologize. You're angry because you killed a boatful of civilians in service to Leaf and that weighs on you. I have literally waded through rivers of blood. I have done things that.... I have done things. For decades, I have seen everyone do something wrong, have some secret shame that got leveraged against them -- usually just in a small way, but sometimes not. Everyone has weaknesses and can be turned. So yes, I don't trust easily."

He thumped his head on the wall lightly and rubbed at his eyes for a moment. When he spoke, he was looking down at his hands, studying them as though they were the most fascinating thing ever, and his voice was quiet.

"No matter what you think, I actually do trust you...as much as I trust anyone, I guess. Oh, I'm aware of your issues with OPSEC and I certainly wouldn't give you information you didn't need to have, but that's true of everyone. You know how you know that I trust you? Because I warned you. I don't warn people that I actually believe to be a threat, I just clean them away.

"I don't trust, Hazō. I don't trust anyone, because anyone can be turned. And anyone can make a mistake. Better for you to be afraid, constantly thinking about your every word and action because you know that there's a threat hanging over your head. Much better that you're afraid than thinking that you're safe and so you don't need to worry. In our business, fear keeps you safe. Safety makes you sloppy, makes you make mistakes.

"You've made mistakes before, just like every young ninja. For most people, that's not a big deal -- their mistakes endanger them, maybe their teammates. Your mistake in Hot Springs nearly caused a war and it did rewrite the balance of power across the continent. Now you're the son and trusted agent of the Hokage, as well as a sealmaster of Leaf and a person who regularly interacts with clan heirs and high-clearance senior officials. You can't afford mistakes anymore, so you need to be afraid, constantly."

He sighed and rolled his head down so he could see Hazō again. "Don't screw up, please. I really want to have a family."

Hazō could find no words in reply, so he settled for nodding.
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HAZOU: So what you're saying is that Kagome is right?

JIRAIYA: ...

HAZOU: ...

JIRAIYA: Hang on, I'm trying to think of a response that isn't "yes".
 
Immortal Lurker said:
While I would certainly be honored if my Omake got canonized, I didn't try to hard to make sure it actually obeyed MfD canon when writing it. For example, I don't actually know if Hazou's notes include notes about Naruto being really useful, or how exactly Hazou feels about Naruto. Or if we've actually passed every mission he's given us with flying colors, and I can't remember exactly what was said during the speech when Hazou tried to get Jiraiya on board with uplift, or when it actually happened.

Parts 2 and 3 can be canonized independently though.

[][POLL] Make Omake: Better Left Unsaid, Part 1 canon
[x][POLL] Make Omake: Better Left Unsaid, Part 2 canon
[x][POLL] Make Omake: Better Left Unsaid, Part 3 canon
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If they end up canonized, I'll slurp them into Chapter 243 with some light editing and attribution links to the originals.

Halberdier said:
I absolutely deserved that. Fine then. Can and will you tell us who won all the matches since Keiko and our fight? And if so: who won all the matches since Keiko and our fight?
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No, yes and don't ask double questions, HDK. :p
 
Oh god.
What if Ami meets Shikaku?

She's going to make him believe that Hazou is playing 2 levels higher than he originally thought.
All just to mess with him.

Edit: She's gonna game the Nara time economy, too, won't she?
 
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eaglejarl said:
If they end up canonized, I'll slurp them into Chapter 243 with some light editing and attribution links to the originals.


No, yes and don't ask double questions, HDK. :p
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Full permission to alter it as much or as little as you want if you want to use it. Y'all know the world and characters best, after all.

Edit: Oh, right.

[x] Action Plan: Everything Is Still Going According To Our Plans Leaving Us In Complete Control Of The Situation With No Reasons To Worry
 
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MMKII said:
@faflec
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MMKII said:
Iron nerve stuff:
1) Can we be selective when using the IN (i.e., does it reproduce the full body worth of body language/motion each time, or can we save and recall individual muscle movements?)
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It does allow for a certain degree of isolation, hence why Hazō is able to look up at Mari-sensei while his arm continues drawing seals, despite the fact that when he originally recorded the action he had his eyes pointed at the page the whole time.

Note that it can only isolate relatively large groups of muscles at a time -- a limb, the face, etc -- and there is a limited degree of workable variance. Exceeding the variance will cause the replay to fail.

Growing up, Hana warned you that breaking a replay can have major health implications, including seizures, coma, and possibly even death. She wasn't too specific about it and Hazō never felt the desire to push the boundaries.
MMKII said:
2) Can we play multiple movements back at the same time ?
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In theory, yes, but not of the same body part. Moreover, trying to combine different motions can end up simply not working. If you are (e.g.) replaying a block and a kick at the same time then there's no guarantee that the body mechanics will work together. You could end up simply falling on your butt because the two actions move your center of balance in incompatible ways that weren't an issue when the two original motions were performed separately.

MMKII said:
3)Does the Iron Nerve record our movements when we're using movements form the Iron Nerve?
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No.
 
Roomba said:
As in, Zabuza is going to call Shikaku an idiot when they meet?
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Yeah.

But I'd also accept Hazou calling Shikaku an idiot to his face.

Not even joking. Once we marry Ami all of Hazou's actions will be seen as an extension of hers and not our own.

Do you know what this means? All the Shikakulations speculation by people like Shikaku, none of the responsibility.

Hazou greets Ino? Well, will you look at that, the Mori clan is now courting the Yamanaka to develop a graphical and interactive user interface for the Mori Voice.

E:

Velorien said:
Growing up, Hana warned you that breaking a replay can have major health implications, including seizures, coma, and possibly even death.
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Tua said:
"Secret Forbidden Kurosawa Technique: Rejection of Reality!"

And down went the Hazou.
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Well, how about that.
 
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[X][POLL] Canonize Those Two Omake Yes Please

Also: seems like convenient timing that Jaraiya is not currently available. Could just be luck, but honestly it wouldn't be difficult to arrange if Ami knows he's, for example, meeting with the Mori clan right now.

This is also why I'm saying "don't go in person." Ami could be using us to provide a distraction, interruption, or extra pawn on the scene.

... Possibly, entrust this to Shikamaru. We might have to owe him time for it, but it might be worth it. He's leaf, his clan is our allies, it informs the Nara that some bullshit is going on, (which I consider a plus,) and Ren is likely to be expecting part of the Goketsu clan proper to be entrusted with this. He also does not have history in Mist, which gives him fewer obvious levers to stomp on.
 
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