Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

[Orisha91]

[x] Action Plan: Everything Is Still Going According To Our Plans Leaving Us In Complete Control Of The Situation With No Reasons To Worry


@Noumero If Jiraiya isn't present, I think it would be a good idea to fix up a meal for him when he gets back. Dealing with this crap and negotiations will suck less with some good chow.

 

[Cariyaga]

Oh! Idea! We can go visit Hana since we're done in the tournament, and sit with her for today's matches.

 

[turbinicarpus]

Means we need to be a bit more extensive about our explanations.

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Hazou has a long track record of making excuses that are worse than the original crime, of apologising for everything but the thing he actually needs to apologise for, and of leaking information like a sieve. Any sort of extensive explanation is likely to do more harm than good.

I think that the best way to calm down Keiko is to retreat into formality and say as little as possible. Yes, something happened. Yes, it was with Jiraiya's approval, and the details are need-to-know, and no, it is not to be discussed without utmost anti-eavesdropping measures. Yes, this is far above any of our paygrades, and no, this letter, even if it's authentic, is not something we can action before Jiraiya returns.

We should put on a disguise, first of all. This won't keep Ami away from us if she wants to but will make us less recognizable as Goketsu Hazou and thus minimize the fallout of any such event.

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I don't think that we can disguise ourselves well enough for this to be a net benefit, but I'd be interested in hearing the specifics.

 

[TaliesinSkye]

My take on the response plan. Similar to @Oneiros' in broad strokes, but with some more details, a just-in-case dispelling with contingencies in case it works, and more speculations for Jiraiya.

I also have about a hundreds words to spare, and accept suggestions. Not entirely satisfied with the part of the plan that explains it to Noburi and Keiko.

[x] Action Plan: Everything Is Still Going According To Our Plans Leaving Us In Complete Control Of The Situation With No Reasons To Worry
Wordcount: 213

• Demeanour: calm with hints of confusion.
• Examine the letter for traps (seal? poison?) and signs of forgery.
• Ask Keiko if she read it.
  • If no: claim it's classified, take it to Jiraiya ASAP.
  • If yes, CCNJ:
    • No proposal took place.
    • We did met with Ami to gather information about her faction, under Jiraiya's directions.
    • Quickly summarize the meeting.
    • No proposal, or anything that seemed to be interpreted as a proposal, took place.
      • We debriefed Jiraiya, he wasn't alarmed.
• Go to Jiraiya.
  • Give him the letter, explain what happened.
  • Offer speculations:
    • It's fake:
      • Ami continues to demonstrate how she could've sabotaged us.
      • It's a coded message.
      • Third party (the Mori?) knew about the meeting and forged the letter for some purpose.
        • It wasn't signed with stamped "^_^". Sounds silly, but seems very OOC for Ami.
    • It's real. Ami wants to:
      • Make herself too valuable to Mist to be disposed of.
        • Expects WW4 and wants off front lines?
      • Strengthen Mist/Leaf alliance.
      • Get more power/influence, sees opportunity in this.
      • Reconcile with Keiko, and can't do it in Mist.
    • If real:
      • How the meeting proceeded (tests, lessons, post-seduction tangent on developing an optimized persona) makes more sense.
      • Ami has likely already ensured that not playing along would look like reneging i. e. political disaster.

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I like this plan except for trying to pull 'it's classified' on Keiko. She's already seen who it's from, that's not going to fly. And even if it did work, Keiko really deserves better. And in any case, telling her now heads off potential social disasters when she finds out.

 

[Inferno Vulpix]

Hazou has a long track record of making excuses that are worse than the original crime, of apologising for everything but the thing he actually needs to apologise for, and of leaking information like a sieve. Any sort of extensive explanation is likely to do more harm than good.

I think that the best way to calm down Keiko is to retreat into formality and say as little as possible. Yes, something happened. Yes, it was with Jiraiya's approval, and the details are need-to-know, and no, it is not to be discussed without utmost anti-eavesdropping measures. Yes, this is far above any of our paygrades, and no, this letter, even if it's authentic, is not something we can action before Jiraiya returns.

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I agree with you to an extent, in the sense that we need to be using Clear Communication no Jutsu here, but that's already in the plans and I'm just advocating a more thorough session sufficient not just to get us out of the room so we can see Jiraiya but sufficient to calm down Noburi and Keiko so we can cooperate.

I don't think that we can disguise ourselves well enough for this to be a net benefit, but I'd be interested in hearing the specifics.

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We can't disguise ourselves well, you're right (if nothing else we're missing our disguise kit), but all we really need for this step is to not look like the guy everyone saw in the arena yesterday.

 

[Enjou]

Imagine going to watch Keiko's match only for Ami to show up and congratulate us on getting betrothed to her... in front of all the Leaf-nin. I'm not sure how likely this is but if it does happen then refusing becomes extremely challenging because now everyone knows and Jiraiya gets put on the back foot something fierce.

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This. So much this. We can't let Keiko find out about this from anyone else. She'll probably be somewhat angry about us arranging a meeting Ami without telling her, but finding out about this from anyone but Hazou would be something on an entirely different level. There's a point at which secrecy is stupid, and this is one of them. We really should have told her in the first place, and now is the time to stop digging ourselves deeper into this hole.

With Jiraiya out our siblings are really the only people we can trust to talk about this anyways, and we clearly need advice on what the hell Ami is thinking.

 

[TaliesinSkye]

I think that the best way to calm down Keiko is to retreat into formality and say as little as possible. Yes, something happened. Yes, it was with Jiraiya's approval, and the details are need-to-know, and no, it is not to be discussed without utmost anti-eavesdropping measures. Yes, this is far above any of our paygrades, and no, this letter, even if it's authentic, is not something we can action before Jiraiya returns.

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We can just say something like 'Jiraiya had me talk to Ami about politics, and I absolutely didn't propose marriage. This is some sort of ploy, and I should go talk to Jiraiya about it right away. Would you like to come? You know her best, after all.'.

Trying to push Keiko out of something that involves the person she cares most about in the world would be an awful thing to do and endanger our relationship besides.

 

[MadScientist]

Be careful about making it seem like Jiraiya's idea. We don't want to give that impression.

 

[Cariyaga]

Be careful about making it seem like Jiraiya's idea. We don't want to give that impression.

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Very this.

 

[Enjou]

Be careful about making it seem like Jiraiya's idea. We don't want to give that impression.

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Yeah, it's fine to say we had the idea for the sake of helping Jiraiya out, but we can't pass the buck on whose idea it was. Keiko will eventually find out anyways.

 

[Lailoken]

I'm not sure it was Ami.

Go read the wording of the letter very carefully. Pretend you are Keiko. Recall that Ami is the person that Keiko loves the most in the universe, and from her perspective has thoroughly rejected her.

Not sure if she would go that far.


But if it was Ami, I think this would serve a few purposes:

1) Another test: survive assassination by Keiko

2) Something meant to widen the rift between Keiko and her.

3) Political machinations. I'm not sure how binding any alleged betrothal proposal is or how this effects things. Not enough context.

4) The last laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.

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It is possible that Ami might be trying to guide Keiko to a crisis point. Keiko wasn't on the prodigy track to begin with and left the clan before getting advanced training. Ami may feel that Keiko is doomed to either unlock the Mangekyō Mori or die trying, and know that the process involves an all-or-nothing showdown with the Mori Voice where the user has to threaten to force it to simulate a thousand eternities locked in a room with Rock Lee if it doesn't behave itself.

But before all that

This is a marriage proposal acceptance letter for the current heir of the Gouketsu. Thete is a good chance more people know about it, which means potentially everyone will know about. The very first thing we need to do is go to our CLAN HEAD, who knows everything about the meeting in detail, and show him the letter. Doing literally anything else, including going straight to the Mori compound immediately, would be really, reaaaally, REAAAAAAAALLY stupid.

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-unless it is a gambit by another party which wants to confirm or disconfirm the possibility that Jiraiya is trying to set up a political marriage, in which case it is important to contact him via summon realm instead of observable means, which means leaving the message alone with Keiko, because yayyyyy...

I would like to remind everybody that I said that this whole idea was a terrible idea right from the start.

One day, I hope we'll be able to rain such delicious mayhem upon an individual by calling forth a few small favors out of a stack of hundreds.

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*Frowning In Ren*

Well that's quite a disappointment. One would think we would kill everyone in a month.

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Plan Mic Drop?

HAZOU:... and that's why it might be a good thing. Now that we've covered every possibility, and its roughly 10 minutes until your tournament match with Shikamaru, would you please refrain from killing, dismembering, or maiming me -- lightly or otherwise?

KEIKO: Friends don't marry one another's sisters without asking, Hazou!

KEIKO doesn't try to maim him and with tears streaming down her face she exits stage left. HAZOU is visibly shaken and mildly heartbroken.

NOBURI: (glances suspiciously at Hazou) What were you saying about my family earlier?

HAZOU: No, not like --

NOBURI: Save it.

NOBURI runs after KEIKO, leaving HAZOU alone

HAZOU: Why does it always end like this??

VOICES IN HAZOU'S HEAD: oh no I hope Ami is cool with polyamory Hazou x Ami x Ino x Ayame x Ikeda x Sasuke x Proctor #19 for life

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"Boss? I need shadow clone. Like, right now."

*sigh* "Fine. Have you decided who you're going to murder?"

"Right now I'm mostly planning on using it for training and dating...​"

"No, I mean to unlock your first shadow clone. I have a suggestion if you need one."

"...you're screwing with me as revenge for the uplift speech, aren't you?"

"Yes, but that doesn't make it a lie. Why do you think the technique was developed by the most kind and compassionate ninja to ever live? Why do you think that I don't have Noburi's barrel on tap and a dozen clones doing my paperwork all day? Even for the most disciplined ninja, manifesting a shadow clone tends to leave the both of you in a not-a-paperwork frame of mind."

"You can't possibly be murdering somebody you love each time you make a clone."

"Of course not. Throwing a piece of your soul into a standard clone is trivial. 90% of the shadow clone jutsu is just a simple mnemonic autogenjutsu to re-experience the full traumatic horror on command when you want to manifest a clone. The hard part is murdering somebody you love to tear your soul apart in the first place. Or, murdering lots of people you like. Or, murdering lots and lots of people you just generally would prefer hadn't died. Theoretically, you could also just helplessly watch somebody else do it, but a dash of guilt really helps ensure sufficient emotional anguish. Of course, you do need a different memory for each clone you want to simultaneously manifest. Some people can get away with just murdering their own clones to get more, but most find that after unlocking the first we kinda hate ourselves too much for that approach to work. Well, unless you're talking about the mass shadow clone version, but there's a reason that one is forbidden."

"...so, it's not just a case of an advanced clone technique with some extra chakra cost?"

"Son, you really should have figured this out by now. What do you think chakra even is? Why do you think anybody in a position to know anything rolls their eyes when you talk about using chakra to reduce human suffering? Why do you think the Sage set the Summon Path up to be an endless grinding warzone for everybody but his damned carrion birds? Why do you think Sunny has been forced to spread her work around instead of being allowed to focus in a single nation? Why do you think she, Gai, and Lee philosophically stick to just punching things instead of expending their reserves? If you punch somebody, you paint a wall. If you ninjutsu somebody you paint a wall and as you regenerate also ensure that somewhere nearby an innocent child starves to death because their parents have been reduced to skinsuits by Aburame-wasp colonies. Human suffering creates chakra and chakra creates human suffering."

"..."

"Do you have any idea how many emergency scorch squad missions I had to send out to make up for the suffering deficit created by that till-n-fill subsidization stunt you pulled?"

"..."

"Who did you want your clone to date again?"

"..."

"Hazou? Hazou, please stop twitching. It's creepy."​

 

[Kalkin]

Inb4 this is fake and keiko's revenge for not telling her about the meeting.

 

[Roomba]

I honestly kind of like the idea of putting on our professional face and taking care of all the marginal issues before doing anything else.

1. Dispel.
2. Ask Keiko about the messenger.
   • Does she know him? Can she verify that he really belongs to the Mori?
   • Can we still catch him if we hurry?
3. Examine the scroll.
   • If whoever sent it intended it for Jiraiya, it may be a trap of some sort.
4. Can we contact Jiraiya?
   • Do we want to, given that it's the obvious reaction?
   • A short note would be enough.
5. ???

We can give Keiko a short explanation after that's covered, and promise to explain in more detail once the crisis is dealt with. The more Hazou looks like a proper clan heir dealing with a political problem, as opposed to a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, the better.

​

When you say "something greater", what do you mean? (Should probably spoiler-tag any details.)

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Oh, just an Omake taking that situation as the starting point.

 

[Lailoken]

I am offended that I was not included in the second group

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Preach it, sister.

Can we make specific dance-activated seals as a form of theft prevention? We can make them very complicated and require IN precision.

Then we can be Necrodancers.

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It'd be safer to just sign a contract with the succubi clan. At least Jiraiya can offer some advice for dealing with eldritch whores.

 

[Tua]

Things I added:

No contingency about what happens if Keiko read the scroll but lied to us so she could gauge our reaction. Remember, no Deceit check for party members. I also added Noburi to the debrief so it comes across as a more natural thing instead of just something that involves Keiko - since we did make sure not to talk about her to Ami.

Also added some preliminary information gathering by just asking Keiko about the messenger and whether she has an idea about what this all means.

And some misc stuff.

• Demeanour: calm with hints of confusion.
• Examine the letter for traps (seal? poison?) and signs of forgery.
• Stay inside the house, do not go to watch the matches. Meet Jiraiya here unless he specifically - and verifiably! - tells you otherwise.
  • If Ami accosts you in a public space you may not be able decline the marriage offer without losing face. Doubly so if this happens before you talked things through with Jiraiya.
• Seal the scroll into a storage seal via Earth Clone proxy, keep it in your person and show it to no one but Jiraiya.
  • If it goes in without issue, it is not an identified seal.
  • If it doesn't, put it in a safe location (IDEAS PLEASE?) and leave it there until Jiraiya can get to it. We are now handling an unidentified seal. Keep it somewhere observable though.
• Do some light probing.
  • Did Keiko recognize the messenger? Does she have any idea why the Mori would deliver a scroll to us? (Maybe they have color coded scrolls with different meanings for example)
• Ask Keiko if she read it.
  • If no: claim it's classified, take it to Jiraiya ASAP. Once he's seen it and has given us the green light, we will debrief Noburi and Keiko with everything Jiraiya allowed us to.
  • If yes, CCNJ:
    • No proposal took place.
    • We did met with Ami to gather information about her faction, under Jiraiya's directions. Do not say it was Jiraiya's idea but don't volunteer that it was yours either; only admit to that if directly asked.
    • Quickly summarize the meeting.
    • No proposal, or anything that seemed to be interpreted as a proposal, took place.
      • We debriefed Jiraiya, he wasn't alarmed.
    • If directly asked whether they talked about her:
      • We did not go there with the intention to talk about her at all. And Ami did not bring her up either.
• Contact Jiraiya.
  • Get in touch with ANBU (yell at the wall, use whatever pre-arranged code you set up for emergencies, etc) or a trusted jounin to have them deliver a high priority message to Jiraiya.
    • Content: "Urgent: Need to talk about yesterday's topic. Can we meet at the house ASAP?"
  • Once you have met, give him the letter, explain what happened.
  • Offer speculations:
    • It's fake:
      • Ami continues to demonstrate how she could've sabotaged us.
      • It's a coded message.
      • Third party (the Mori?) knew about the meeting and forged the letter for some purpose.
        • It wasn't signed with stamped "^_^". Sounds silly, but seems very OOC for Ami.
    • It's real. Ami wants to:
      • Make herself too valuable to Mist to be disposed of.
        • Expects WW4 and wants off front lines?
      • Strengthen Mist/Leaf alliance.
      • Get more power/influence, sees opportunity in this.
      • Reconcile with Keiko, and can't do it in Mist.
    • If real:
      • How the meeting proceeded (tests, lessons, post-seduction tangent on developing an optimized persona) makes more sense.
      • Ami has likely already ensured that not playing along would look like reneging i. e. political disaster.

Click to shrink...

E: Duh, forgot the most important part.

[x] Action Plan: Everything Is Still Going According To Our Plans Leaving Us In Complete Control Of The Situation With No Reasons To Worry

 

[Inferno Vulpix]

Things I added:

No contingency about what happens if Keiko read the scroll but lied to us so she could gauge our reaction. Remember, no Deceit check for party members. I also added Noburi to the debrief so it comes across as a more natural thing instead of just something that involves Keiko - since we did make sure not to talk about her to Ami.

Also added some preliminary information gathering by just asking Keiko about the messenger and whether she has an idea about what this all means.

And some misc stuff.



E: Duh, forgot the most important part.

[x] Action Plan: Everything Is Still Going According To Our Plans Leaving Us In Complete Control Of The Situation With No Reasons To Worry

Click to shrink...

I think I would switch to this plan with those changes made. I do have two concerns, though:

• (On 'Do not say it was Jiraiya's idea but don't volunteer that it was yours either; only admit to that if directly asked.') Misdirection during CCnJ sounds like a bad idea, even misdirection by omission. If Keiko catches on then it taints the authenticity of what we're conveying at a time when we really really need to be convincing.
• (On '"Urgent: Need to talk about yesterday's topic. Can we meet at the house ASAP?"') I'm worried that being too urgent about it will make Jiraiya dash out of a meeting and sprint across town only to find that we could've waited another hour for him to finish. We can convey that it's a serious issue that needs to be tackled soon more directly by saying 'Serious: Need to talk about yesterday's topic. Can we meet at the house as soon as you're free?' and then wait a few hours longer if we need to.

 

[faflec]

You know what would be a really fucked up thing to do?

Activate a stupid box right here, and make it seem like the Mori Clan just assassinated Jiraiya's children.

 

[Cariyaga]

I honestly kind of like the idea of putting on our professional face and taking care of all the marginal issues before doing anything else.

1. Dispel.
2. Ask Keiko about the messenger.
   • Does she know him? Can she verify that he really belongs to the Mori?
   • Can we still catch him if we hurry?
3. Examine the scroll.
   • If whoever sent it intended it for Jiraiya, it may be a trap of some sort.
4. Can we contact Jiraiya?
   • Do we want to, given that it's the obvious reaction?
   • A short note would be enough.
5. ???

We can give Keiko a short explanation after that's covered, and promise to explain in more detail once the crisis is dealt with. The more Hazou looks like a proper clan heir dealing with a political problem, as opposed to a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, the better.

​

Oh, just an Omake taking that situation as the starting point.

Click to shrink...

We already have the answers as to whether we can contact Jiraiya in the immediate sense:

No. He's not here. Personally, given that we can't do so, I think we need Keiko to not be freaking out, and I think approach this maturely and straightforwardly is the solution.

I think I would switch to this plan with those changes made. I do have two concerns, though:

• (On 'Do not say it was Jiraiya's idea but don't volunteer that it was yours either; only admit to that if directly asked.') Misdirection during CCnJ sounds like a bad idea, even misdirection by omission. If Keiko catches on then it taints the authenticity of what we're conveying at a time when we really really need to be convincing.
• (On '"Urgent: Need to talk about yesterday's topic. Can we meet at the house ASAP?"') I'm worried that being too urgent about it will make Jiraiya dash out of a meeting and sprint across town only to find that we could've waited another hour for him to finish. We can convey that it's a serious issue that needs to be tackled soon more directly by saying 'Serious: Need to talk about yesterday's topic. Can we meet at the house as soon as you're free?' and then wait a few hours longer if we need to.

Click to shrink...

I agree with these concerns. Perhaps use Asuma or Kakashi or someone in the know politically better than us and trustworthy as a sounding board?

 

[Halberdier]

You know what would be a really fucked up thing to do?

Activate a stupid box right here, and make it seem like the Mori Clan just assassinated Jiraiya's children.

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SCREAMING IN KAGOME, AAAAAIIIEEEEEEEE!!!

I'm not sure we could do that to Kagome, even if it was worth it politically. And I don't think the EN would survive Kagome's reaction to finding out all 4 of the kids were dead.

You're right @faflec, that is really fucked up

Unrelated note:

Hi all,

This is a combined PSA and mea-culpa.

I misunderstood discussion in the QM chat about making the timeline of Ami's actions clear; I thought the letter needed to be changed, since when I read the scene it sounded like the events were happening during the same day.

The letter's initial wording, referencing a date yesterday, was correct. The letter arrived the morning of the following day, before the next set of fights in the Chūnin Tourney.

The scene's wording will be updated to clarify this (Hazō and Noburi are talking during breakfast).

Click to shrink...

So you're saying all the quarter- final matches are finished? Do we know who won them (and there just wasn't a good place to include that in the update); or have we been too busy to even ask; or are those going to be scenes in a future chapter?

 

[Oneiros]

Yo just got of work will be updating my plan when I get home to deal with the new information

 

[Kurkistan]

[X] Action Plan: Smart things, but also accept the proposal

• Hazō is inclined to accept the proposal, given the information he currently has available to him. Run this by Jiraiya before actually committing to anything, though.
• Otherwise follow the second top-most plan.

—

This plan in the vein of "make a decision during the vote", rather than primarily puzzle-solving to manage contingencies and Keiko's reaction.

 

[Cariyaga]

[X] Action Plan: Smart things, but also accept the proposal

• Hazō is inclined to accept the proposal, given the information he currently has available to him. Run this by Jiraiya before actually committing to anything, though.
• Otherwise follow the second top-most plan.

—

This plan in the vein of "make a decision during the vote", rather than primarily puzzle-solving to manage contingencies and Keiko's reaction.

Click to shrink...

QMs have a stated distaste for nested plans re: XP rewards.

 

[Kurkistan]

QMs have a stated distaste for nested plans re: XP rewards.

Click to shrink...

Good to know. Still the decision's important enough and my reaction speed to needed technical updates slow enough that I'm fine with a one-time loss of XP.

 

[Oneiros]

@eaglejarl @Velorien @OliWhail @faflec what matches are scheduled today and when are they starting

 

[Emstar]

Clearing this out. Feel free to yoink. I wont be editing/updating.

Notes:

1) I think approaching Keiko rationally about this is a good idea. Getting her to think logically and not emotionally is probably good.
2) I think being upfront about what was going on in general is good.
3) Fuck the word count, we're on the edge son!

[]Action Plan: Cool as Ice

Maintain neutral, blank expression and tone of voice.

• Calmly read the scroll again.
  • Ask whether or not she has read it.
    • Regardless of her answer: First, make it very clear that it is almost surely some sort of coded message for Jiraiya, relayed somehow through us. The framing and presentation of the charade are way too weird to be anything else, and are personal in a way that may grossly offend her and cause her significant discomfort. The latter is likely intended.
    • If she read it: "Do you think it is more likely that we exist in a universe in which the contents of that letter accurately reflect reality, or that we are in a universe where that is not the case and it only serves to further some obscure and unknowable plot that we can only merely guess at? Ask the Frozen Skein."
      • Thoughts: the above is a reasonable suggestion on its own, but dipping into the Skein might cool her down if shes upset.
    • If not: The contents are likely classified. Please do not press us on this.
    • Seal the scroll in a storage seal.
• Debrief Nobby and Keiko: Clear Communication no Jutsu
  • Keiko, yesterday I met with your sister in efforts to work out how she aligns politically in Mist for Jiraiya
    • This was my idea that I proposed to him.
  • • The contents of the meeting were Jiraiya approved.
    • We did not talk about you at the meeting, even tangentially.
    • We did not talk about the subjects mentioned in this scroll.
    • I planned to ask you if you wanted to be brought up if there was another meeting, but judged it emotionally manipulative to do before our match.
    • I apologize for not informing you of the meeting before now.
  • I debriefed Jiraiya on the meeting yesterday.
    • Afterwards, about an entirely unrelated matter, it was made quite clear to me that taking any actions with potential negative political ramifications without consulting Jiraiya first, would be an incredibly poor decision.
    • Keeping that in mind, that you have a tournament match later today, and that interfering in any way with your inevitable finals victory would fit the category of actions I just described, for one or all of us, let us not act irrationally.
  • We need to signal to Jiraiya somehow if possible that he needs to return quickly when time permits.
    • If he's in important negotiations, it might not be wise to interrupt him.
    • Send an ANBU to him with some message that signals he should return quickly when time permits.
    • "You left without your breakfast, it's getting cold and won't keep forever!"
  • ??????

The question remains as to whether we go to the match or not is up in the air.

I honestly have no idea what the fuck is going on right now. A dozen possibilities come to mind, but I'm mostly equally (un)sure about all of them, so theres not much info there.