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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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HAZOU(nonchalant): My, isn't that the best assassination attempt I've ever scene. You read this?

KEIKO: Opens mouth

HAZOU: Of course you did. Well, may I remind you that killing me over a letter of dubious origins is ill-advised, regardless of the actual content. Similarly, I'll have you know that I just had a conversation with Jiraiya about how anything that sufficiently derails his agenda will result in my painful demise. Killing me would probably count. Still, we should bring this to his attention. It could very well be a coded message meant to advance some obscure plot.

KEIKO: inches forward

HAZOU: Noburi please help me.
 
Torpling said:
Last but not least, if this were an actual Ami letter, there is just no way she would not have included a stamped ^_^
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It is very possible that this is the most convincing argument in favour of the letter not being from Ami that I've seen so far. I'm not sure how to feel about it.

Edit: I put it in the plan as an argument to Jiraiya.
 
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I don't think Keiko's read the letter yet. Her situation right now is 'multifaceted expression on her face. None of the facets were good.' but not any intense emotion (or even the intense lack of emotion denoted by deep diving into the Frozen Skein).

Hazou just got a message from the Mori. Why on earth would the Mori be sending a message to Hazou? Keiko doesn't have a perfect understanding of Mori politics and dynamics, but it still makes no sense for them to be doing this. It also isn't something she can ignore, because she's familiar with Mori politics and dynamics to an extent so her input may be valuable here.

So Keiko receives the message, doesn't look at it because it's for Hazou so he should read it first, and starts wondering what bizarre scenario is causing the Mori to take an active interest in Hazou (and only Hazou, not Hazou and Keiko). A lot of possible situations, none of them all that comfortable, and most of them close to some of Keiko's sore spots, it's no wonder her expression showed a lot of generally negative facets.
 
eaglejarl said:
You Dispelled shortly before coming to see Noburi.
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Noted. Relevant section deleted.
Inferno Vulpix said:
I don't think Keiko's read the letter yet.
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Tua said:
How do you think Keiko would look like if a Mori messenger just handed her a scroll and asked her to give it to Hazou.
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Still not convinced, but fine, I put in a fork:
Noumero said:
[x] Action Plan: Everything Is Still Going According To Our Plans Leaving Us In Complete Control Of The Situation With No Reasons To Worry
Wordcount: 213
  • Demeanour: calm with hints of confusion.
  • Examine the letter for traps (seal? poison?) and signs of forgery.
  • Ask Keiko if she read it.
    • If no: claim it's classified, take it to Jiraiya ASAP.
    • If yes, CCNJ:
      • No proposal took place.
      • We did met with Ami to gather information about her faction, under Jiraiya's directions.
      • Quickly summarize the meeting.
      • No proposal, or anything that seemed to be interpreted as a proposal, took place.
        • We debriefed Jiraiya, he wasn't alarmed.
  • Go to Jiraiya.
    • Give him the letter, explain what happened.
    • Offer speculations:
      • It's fake:
        • Ami continues to demonstrate how she could've sabotaged us.
        • It's a coded message.
        • Third party (the Mori?) knew about the meeting and forged the letter for some purpose.
          • It wasn't signed with stamped "^_^". Sounds silly, but seems very OOC for Ami.
      • It's real. Ami wants to:
        • Make herself too valuable to Mist to be disposed of.
          • Expects WW4 and wants off front lines?
        • Strengthen Mist/Leaf alliance.
        • Get more power/influence, sees opportunity in this.
        • Reconcile with Keiko, and can't do it in Mist.
      • If real:
        • How the meeting proceeded (tests, lessons, post-seduction tangent on developing an optimized persona) makes more sense.
        • Ami has likely already ensured that not playing along would look like reneging i. e. political disaster.
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MadScientist said:
KEI'S HIVEMIND
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AMI'S HIVEMIND

AMI: Hmmm. The letter should come right about now, don't you think?

MORI VOICE: This is a terrible idea but yes.

AMI: I wonder how will they react. ^_^

MORI VOICE: With violent confusion and high chance of accepting the proposal.

AMI: Perfect! Now, I do need to visit our dear tailor, and drop by the merchant's district. Mist's economy may crash, but it'll be the greatest wedding in Elemental Nations!

MORI VOICE: Why are you doing this to me.

AMI: I can't wait to have our first night together! So many plans to make, so much brainstorming to do!

MORI VOICE: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-
 
traverseda said:
So, there's no secret faction backing Ami right? That's just something she's managed to convince Jiraiya (and no one else) of. She's going to die because she violated clan policy in order to protect keiko, and has been lying and lying and building a mountain of lies that's going to catch up to her.
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I really hope this is the case. It's the exact kind of situation I'd expect someone very smart but relatively inexperienced to get into when attempting to trick their equally smart, but also experienced and powerful peers.

Torpling said:
I'm thinking Ino maybe (to put Keiko off-balance for the Shikamaru fight of course).
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I very much doubt that. Forging this kind of document is a very serious matter that could have major political consequences. Of all the clan heirs, I expect Ino in particular to be incredibly cognizant of this fact.

No, it would need to be someone either very confident in not getting caught, or confident that they can escape the consequences even when caught.
 
Well that happened. Uh.

There is no way we can take this, unless we have a super long engagement period. We are too weak; it would give Ami too much leverage over Jiraiya. Unless we have an engagement which spans years, and we lighthouse train social skills.

Also, Ami seems like she isn't overcoming so much as just straight up bypassing the cost of her bloodline. If anything, she has too much initiative. That is probably relevant.
 
So we should get the letter to Jiraiya, calmly explain to Keiko what happened and emphasize greatly that we do not have romantic intentions towards her sister and that this was purely a meeting meant to advance Jiraiya's political goals with us as a catspaw, and that Keiko can wait until she's cooled off and we're back in Leaf to eviscerate us painfully. Excuse us while we throw up.

Now that we've delayed the inevitable and gotten the letter to Jiraiya, run at GREAT SPEED (Spam PH) to the Kurosawa compound. Knock on Mom's door.


HANA: Hazou! What brings you-

HAZOU: Hide me!!!

HANA: *Jonin reflexes activate*


After spending a few days on mom's couch, we can probably come out after the main Leaf contingent has left.

Once we get back to Leaf, we can maybe crash at Gai's, or perhaps sprint into the Uchiha compound crying "Sanctuary!!!"
 
I just want to say that trying to keep Keiko in the dark will just make things worse the longer that it goes on. We need to come clean about meeting Ami without telling her about it, and we need to do it before she hears about this from anyone else. And mark my words, Ami is no doubt stirring up the rumor mill - Keiko will hear about this, and hearing about it from anyone else means DOOM.

Noumero said:
Third party (the Mori?) knew about the meeting and forged the letter for some purpose.
  • It wasn't signed with stamped "^_^". Sounds silly, but seems very OOC for Ami.
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Not using the emoji seems perfectly sensible in the context of the letter. If Ami's goal is to have the messenger read the message and take it seriously rather than as a joke, then using the stamp wouldn't be appropriate. It needs to look like a formal acceptance of a marriage proposal.
 
@Noumero , We should bring Keiko and Noburi along to Jiraiya, no point in hiding anything anymore.

Also,
eaglejarl said:
"A Mori messenger brought this." She held out the scroll. "For you."
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While we can't be certain about this being faked or that Ami/someone tricked the Mori to send this, Keiko probably knows enough to tell if it was a real messanger (she might even know the person, maybe we should ask her this, might be a cousin a few times removed, but someone she saw at the compound). Faking something like this is probably a huge diplomatic incident, if the Mori would start denying that the massage came from one of them.

We should also ask Keiko (after she calmed down and has stopped trying to kill us) how much freedom a normal Mori has to arrange their own marriage or if this is something the clan head + elders approve of.
 
MMKII said:
After spending a few days on mom's couch, we can probably come out after the main Leaf contingent has left.

Once we get back to Leaf, we can maybe crash at Gai's, or perhaps sprint into the Uchiha compound crying "Sanctuary!!!"
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Noumero said:
[х] Put on Skywalkers and go east, over the ocean.
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We were quite successful as missing-nin.

[Jk] Grab Hana and go missing-nin, leave Note:" ^_^' sorry about that, bye~!"
 
MadScientist said:
[^_^] Action Plan: Amigeddon Initiative
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[х] Action Plan: Amigeddon Initiative
Wordcount: 210.
  • Demeanour: exasperated.
  • To Keiko and Noburi:
    • Deny everything. You've never met Ami, and you're bringing this nonsense straight to Jiraiya.
    • Storm off in a huff.
  • Go to the Mori compound. Demand to see Ami. Throw money and political favours around until your request is granted.
  • Ask her to speak in private.
  • Once in private:
    • Ignore anything she says. Stand on the ceiling.
    • Give her half of your Skywalker seals. Explain the design.
    • Give her fifteen Banshee Fuckers and fifteen Silence Mines.
      • Explain how they could be used in conjunction with the tournament's sound-amplification field to kill everyone.
    • Teach her Ghost Scales and Pangolin Training Jutsu.
    • Show Hidden Mountain's location on the map. Explain what's there.
    • Tell her about the Liberator incident, Jiraiya's bid for Hokageship, Minami's death, the Jashin cultists Jiraiya caught, and anything else you feel is relevant.
    • In pauses between aforementioned topics: Tell her about your travels as missing-nin, randomly mixing true facts with Kagome's conspiracy theories. Try to speak too fast for her to catch you on a lie.
    • Confess that you're controlled by a inter-universal hivemind and that she drives it insane.
    • Exit the room by shelling your own position with an explosive after activating Ghost Scales.
      • Run into the skies.
  • Go east, over the ocean.
 
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For proponents of the "third party" theory, what do you think would be the motive?

If this isn't Ami's doing, then it's trivial for us to confirm that with her, which confers no strategic advantage that I can think of. Therefore, the advantage would have to be tactical. If the desired outcome for the perpetrator is Hazou immediately taking the letter to Jiraiya, then we should examine it very carefully first, and possibly delay a bit just on principle. And also quickly ask Keiko if the messenger already left - if we can talk to them and confirm their identity, that would be a big help in disproving the "third party" hypothesis.

@Oneiros @Noumero what do you think?

For the record, I do think this move fits Ami's modus operandi, but it never hurts to be careful.
 
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Roomba said:
For proponents of the "third party" theory, what do you think would be the motive?

If this isn't Ami's doing, then it's trivial for us to confirm that with her, which confers no strategic advantage that I can think of. Therefore, the advantage would have to be tactical. If the desired outcome for the perpetrator is Hazou immediately taking the letter to Jiraiya, then we should examine it very carefully first, and possibly delay a bit just on principle. And also quickly ask Keiko if the messenger already left - if we can talk to them and confirm their identity, that would be a big help in disproving the "third party" hypothesis.

@Oneiros @Noumero what do you think?

For the record, I do think this move fits Ami's modus operandi, but it never hurts to be careful.
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I'm not sure it was Ami.

Go read the wording of the letter very carefully. Pretend you are Keiko. Recall that Ami is the person that Keiko loves the most in the universe, and from her perspective has thoroughly rejected her.

Not sure if she would go that far.


But if it was Ami, I think this would serve a few purposes:

1) Another test: survive assassination by Keiko

2) Something meant to widen the rift between Keiko and her.

3) Political machinations. I'm not sure how binding any alleged betrothal proposal is or how this effects things. Not enough context.

4) The last laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
 
Where is Jiraiya in relation to us? At the beginning of the update he was in the same building as us. How much time has passed since then? Did Jiraiya leave? @eaglejarl, @Velorien, @OliWhail?
Roomba said:
If this isn't Ami's doing, then it's trivial for us to confirm that with her, which confers no strategic advantage that I can think of. Therefore, the advantage would have to be tactical. If the desired outcome for the perpetrator is Hazou immediately taking the letter to Jiraiya, then we should examine it very carefully first, and possibly delay a bit just on principle. And also quickly ask Keiko if the messenger already left - if we can talk to them and confirm their identity, that would be a big help in disproving the "third party" hypothesis.
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It's possible that the goal is to damage Hazou/Keiko relations by "exposing" Hazou like this and hoping he'll eat his foot, thereby either sabotaging Keiko's emotional state, or dividing us, or something along those lines.

I suppose it would be fine to delay. What's your opinion on tell/not-tell Keiko and Noburi everything? Perhaps we could use the time to comprehensively explain ourselves.
 
Roomba said:
For proponents of the "third party" theory, what do you think would be the motive?

If this isn't Ami's doing, then it's trivial for us to confirm that with her, which confers no strategic advantage that I can think of. Therefore, the advantage would have to be tactical. If the desired outcome for the perpetrator is Hazou immediately taking the letter to Jiraiya, then we should examine it very carefully first, and possibly delay a bit just on principle. And also quickly ask Keiko if the messenger already left - if we can talk to them and confirm their identity, that would be a big help in disproving the "third party" hypothesis.

@Oneiros @Noumero what do you think?

For the record, I do think this move fits Ami's modus operandi, but it never hurts to be careful.
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Roomba said:
For proponents of the "third party" theory, what do you think would be the motive?

If this isn't Ami's doing, then it's trivial for us to confirm that with her, which confers no strategic advantage that I can think of. Therefore, the advantage would have to be tactical. If the desired outcome for the perpetrator is Hazou immediately taking the letter to Jiraiya, then we should examine it very carefully first, and possibly delay a bit just on principle. And also quickly ask Keiko if the messenger already left - if we can talk to them and confirm their identity, that would be a big help in disproving the "third party" hypothesis.

@Oneiros @Noumero what do you think?

For the record, I do think this move fits Ami's modus operandi, but it never hurts to be careful.
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Personally I think it was Ami who wrote it. This definitely sounds like something she'd do, her counter intelligence was apparently really good (nothing is invincible but she's imoressive enough Jiraiya recognizes her potential), and marrying Hazo and moving to Leaf would

A) Allow her to be with Keiko without needing to treat her like a traitor

B) possibly circumvent her death, the one she hinted at during dinner. This move could be her chance to get out while she can without being labelled a missing nin, though that's just speculation until Jiraiya or Hazo turn up more.

Also it was a Mori messenger that gave us the letter. Something to consider, if there was a third party I doubt they're from outside the clan. Still I'm pretty sure it's Ami who sent it, and it's likely just public enough that we'd have to accept or it screws over our diplomatic ties due to shaming an important Mist clan, hurting the 3-way alliance Cloud and Stone are worried about.

This is all just what i see though, could be wrong
 
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