Look, the most important thing we can do in a pre-fight speech is take advantage of the crowd. Have Noburi liberally bribe them again. On the stand, call Mist out again for the seal limitations and get the crowd chanting to see a real show. Get the drunken, bloodthirsty mobbed angry at their hero being screwed and their being stiffed out of the show of a lifetime. Put pressure on Mist to change the rules, at least for the finals.
The way I see it, we're not really expecting to win this, so let's use that to find a different objective to fulfill. Let's make a statement to Keiko that builds our ties with her, maybe helps her feel better about herself, and shows that we have no hard feelings however the fight goes. Secondarily it also shows everyone watching that we're perhaps more mature than our previous performance indicated, and it makes a strong statement that the new Goketsu clan has tight, unbreakable bonds of loyalty to one another.
 
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The way I see it, we're not really trying to win this, so let's use that to find a different objective to fulfill. Let's make a statement to Keiko that builds our ties with her, maybe helps her feel better about herself, and shows that we have no hard feelings however the fight goes. Secondarily it also shows everyone watching that we're perhaps more mature than our previous performance indicated, and it makes a strong statement that the new Goketsu clan has tight, unbreakable bonds of loyalty to one another.

It provides public cover and sympathy if Hazou loses, now or in the future, and if it works it makes Hazou or Keiko much more dangerous in the finals.

Plus, we haven't made Ren's life more difficult yet today. She's going to start getting suspicious.
 
Plus, we haven't made Ren's life more difficult yet today. She's going to start getting suspicious.
This is an extremely compelling point for me.

I do wish we could get to the point where we offer a ceasefire if she just confirmed the damn alliance on Jiraiya's terms.
 
  • Mechanical Outline
    • Round 0: While on the podium, or before it: Palm a training explosive
    • Round 1: Enter arena (supplemental),place a Taijutsu Block on Keiko (standard). It is inactive until and unless she is in the same zone. Substitute into her zone reactively when she enters the arena to activate the Block (supplemental).
    • Round 2: (supplemental)Pantokrator's Hammer, (supplemental) activate Training Explosive, apply to Keiko and attempt to throw her out of the arena using the training explosive as additional propulsion (standard).
    • Round 3: If ringing her out didn't work, try to take out her pangolin. This line of play is a losing one, but it's the only real possibility for victory.
@eaglejarl @Velorien @OliWhail Sanity check on this outline?
 
How about "it doesn't work that way, because chakra is not a thing that can be stored, in much the same way that you cannot store time"?

(And, because I know my audience:
No, slowing time down from certain reference frames by way of speed or gravity is nothing like storing it for later use.)

Physicist Hiveminders: (engineer a way to store time for later use, raise an eyebrow at EJ)
 
Physicist Hiveminders: (engineer a way to store time for later use, raise an eyebrow at EJ)
Hmmm. Storing time isn't really a thing, but we can stretch it. Substitution is really fast movement, so what if we find a way to amp that up and move so fast we produce relativistic time dilation? Granted, we wouldn't actually be able to come in contact with things like air molecules without causing massive nuclear explosions, but maybe we could vibrate at absurd speeds or something to cause time relative to us to slow down.

Alternatively, we play god and create our own pocket universes with new physical laws as desired. Or study the summon scrolls and use the tech there to travel to other extant universes with the properties we want.
 
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How about "it doesn't work that way, because chakra is not a thing that can be stored, in much the same way that you cannot store time"?

(And, because I know my audience:
No, slowing time down from certain reference frames by way of speed or gravity is nothing like storing it for later use.)
We did that already, though, in the chunij exams even.

Time is money, after all.
 
As best as I can tell, Wakahisa body modifications put the water in the circuit of the body's chakra coils, causing it to take on chakra temporarily. It loses it quickly when it's taken out of the circuit and no longer being constantly replenished.
Yeah but that means chakra can be stored.
If it was just people having chakra reserves there are some reasons it could still be the kind of resource it's posible to store even in principle .
But the way Noburi's bloodline works doesn't seem like its compatible whith chakra not being posible to store for latter use( well I can imagine some weird convoluted ways it could but still)
In fact Noburi could use someone as chakra storage since he can put chakra on them and drain it latter.
 
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After all, as they say, "overkill" is a word for paupers.
We should tell this to the Angel of Milk and Cookies

So, here's the thing.
  1. Hazou requests a meeting of Ami, stipulating that it must take place after his match with Keiko.
  2. Ami wonders: Why after the match? The most obvious explanation is that Hazou wants Ami to see it before talking. What exactly he plans to show, Ami doesn't know, and the possibilities are innumerable. Clearly, though, the meeting will concern Keiko in some way.
  3. The day of the match arrives. The pre-fight banter commences, and Hazou openly praises Keiko before the gathered elites of the Elemental Nations. To end his speech, he quotes Ryugamine, Ami's erstwhile mentor.
  4. Ami: <No clue what she thinks because we don't know what their relationship is like>
Point is, Hazou doesn't actually even know he's quoting Ryugamine there. Sending signals like this, whose meaning we don't even understand, is simply reckless.
 
So, here's the thing.
  1. Hazou requests a meeting of Ami, stipulating that it must take place after his match with Keiko.
  2. Ami wonders: Why after the match? The most obvious explanation is that Hazou wants Ami to see it before talking. What exactly he plans to show, Ami doesn't know, and the possibilities are innumerable. Clearly, though, the meeting will concern Keiko in some way.
  3. The day of the match arrives. The pre-fight banter commences, and Hazou openly praises Keiko before the gathered elites of the Elemental Nations. To end his speech, he quotes Ryugamine, Ami's erstwhile mentor.
  4. Ami: <No clue what she thinks because we don't know what their relationship is like>
Point is, Hazou doesn't actually even know he's quoting Ryugamine there. Sending signals like this, whose meaning we don't even understand, is simply reckless.
I should start weighing all of my jokes down with something.

Yeah, obviously we cannot quote the guy who we barely know and have no reason to quote.

As @schlega said, this sounds pretty arrogant and dismissive as well, despite the message being one I agree with. (Overkill is a myth.)

@Paperclipped I like most of it though. Probably going to tweak and add in to the plan.

@Roomba do you have any suggestions, Speechmaster?
 
So, here's the thing.
  1. Hazou requests a meeting of Ami, stipulating that it must take place after his match with Keiko.
  2. Ami wonders: Why after the match? The most obvious explanation is that Hazou wants Ami to see it before talking. What exactly he plans to show, Ami doesn't know, and the possibilities are innumerable. Clearly, though, the meeting will concern Keiko in some way.
  3. The day of the match arrives. The pre-fight banter commences, and Hazou openly praises Keiko before the gathered elites of the Elemental Nations. To end his speech, he quotes Ryugamine, Ami's erstwhile mentor.
  4. Ami: <No clue what she thinks because we don't know what their relationship is like>
Point is, Hazou doesn't actually even know he's quoting Ryugamine there. Sending signals like this, whose meaning we don't even understand, is simply reckless.
I thought it was cheeky, and not wholly unappropriate for the message. Planwriters are under no obligation to copy it in verbatim, here's an alternate phrasing:
  • You were all very strong, we hope you understand it was a gesture of respect that we had to apply overwhelming force to secure victory.
 
I should start weighing all of my jokes down with something.

Yeah, obviously we cannot quote the guy who we barely know and have no reason to quote.

As @schlega said, this sounds pretty arrogant and dismissive as well, despite the message being one I agree with. (Overkill is a myth.)

@Paperclipped I like most of it though. Probably going to tweak and add in to the plan.

@Roomba do you have any suggestions, Speechmaster?
I do think arrogant is a little bit of what we want to pull off. Beyond reproach, so to speak.
 
I do think arrogant is a little bit of what we want to pull off. Beyond reproach, so to speak.
My issue with this is that we come off as a bit of an ass if we go that route and then get our face kicked in by Keiko.

Which is likely. Hazou needs to be prepared for a mighty asswhooping.
 
My issue with this is that we come off as a bit of an ass if we go that route and then get our face kicked in by Keiko.

Which is likely. Hazou needs to be prepared for a mighty asswhooping.
Maybe I should change the order. We delivered the asswhooping as Team Goketsu, so this should follow the speech part about how strong we are as a team.
 
Do we have to fight Kei? Is there any way we can pressure Ren to change the bracketing so our opponent is someone else?

If, say, her major political opponents got wind of a plot that requires Kei and Hazou to fight each other in order to cement the alliance, might they not want to put a stop to that immediately?
 
I remembered something:

"You carved this with explosives?" Mari-sensei said, surprised.

"Just the big parts," Kagome-sensei said. "Did the detail work by hand. Oh, I almost forgot." He pulled back the lip of one of the sand socks and pointed inside. "Shaped charges inside each sock. Some stinker tries to sneak up on you, just reach over your shoulder and get a finger here. Boom! Squish!" He clapped both hands together as though killing a fly, then tossed them open to suggest the following rain of giblets. He looked at Noburi, suddenly uncertain. "Um...each of the socks says 'this side in' on one side. You should probably make sure it's facing in. And make sure the middle of each sock is outside the netting or it'll cut it and then the barrel won't be stable until you replace it. The netting, I mean. Not the barrel. No reason to replace the barrel. Try not to have to, though—I didn't manage to finish studying the seals yet so I couldn't make any more."

"Hang on, you were studying the seals?" Noburi said. "You should have asked first, Kagome."

The sealmaster frowned. "Why?"

"Those are secret! They're my fam...." He trailed off, looking thoughtful.

"Oh," Kagome-sensei said, sounding lost. "I thought we were...I mean...."

Noburi smiled. "You know what? You're absolutely right. We are family now, and these seals belong to all of us. I'm sorry I snapped; I guess it still hasn't quite sunk in, you know?" The smile fell away and he looked at the older ninja seriously, reaching out to clasp his forearm. "Thank you, Kagome. This is an amazing gift, and I'll be surprised if it doesn't save my life at some point. You're the best uncle anyone could ask for."

Kagome-sensei looked shocked. "Uncle?"

"Well, yeah?" Noburi said, chuckling. "You're Jiraiya's cousin, Jiraiya is supposed to be our father, I figure that makes you my uncle. I mean, if you're okay with it...? If it's a problem—"

"Yes! No! I mean yes, it's good, no, it's no problem. Uncle is good. Yes." The man seemed slightly dazed for a moment, then shook it off. "Um...you guys are leaving tomorrow, so I thought maybe this would be a good time for, um...oh! Dinner! Right, we need to eat first. Come on!"

Kagome isn't terribly troubled about stealing other family member's seals, and he's complicit in the established precedent for summarily sharing all seals within the family.

Oh, and the sand-augmented explosives are a thing.
 
I remembered something:



Kagome isn't terribly troubled about stealing other family member's seals, and he's complicit in the established precedent for summarily sharing all seals within the family.

Oh, and the sand-augmented explosives are a thing.
Kagome equates the Team as family so that was likely what that was.

I think a decent argument could be made to convince him to share his shinies with Jiraiya anyway though.
 
Do we have to fight Kei? Is there any way we can pressure Ren to change the bracketing so our opponent is someone else?

If, say, her major political opponents got wind of a plot that requires Kei and Hazou to fight each other in order to cement the alliance, might they not want to put a stop to that immediately?
I imagine the bracket is the way it is to keep Leaf from dominating the final fights too badly, by forcing Leaf nin to eliminate each other before then.
 
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