Alternatively, Noburi strats.
1) "Well, obviously I know some seal-less Space-Time ninjutsu and can dodge explosions point blank with it. "
2)"I used one of my five armor jutsu. Don't worry about me, it was the shittiest one."
3) "You guys don't have explosive tags that ignore the infusers chakra signature upon detonation? Learn Sealing scrubs."
4) "I have this paper thin metal armor durable enough to tank explosives that was forged in the heart of a dying star with the bones of a dead god."
5)"You mean you guys don't know what Madara's Minute Meteors actually looks like?"
6) "I made a contract with the demonic beings of the upper levels of the Out to grant me absurd durability and rogueish good looks. Contrary to populr belief, it only cost a few thousand ryo and a couple games of strip poker."
7) "Jashin-sama grants many abilities that some may consider to be unnatural."
8) "I have the technique hacked version of Substitution that allows you to swap with anything within your mass limit. You do the math."
9)"If you're quick enough on the draw you can seal explosives into a special storage seal. Here's a couple you should totally try it."
10) "I came up underground right in the middle of the shockwave. Gotta let your Earth Clones have the spotlight y'know."
11) "I'm the jinchuuriki of the zero tails. Its a completely apt name."
12) "He's lucky I only used the Earth Element version of the Rasengan."
13) "What match? I only just woke up like two hours ago."
14) "I used my S-rank physical transformation technique to absorb some of the shock. "
15) "You're asking a lot of questions about that sealing failure back there, are you trying to get erased from reality?"
16) "I wrap each bodypart with a different summoning scroll. It does wonders to absorb the shock. Also they work great as pillows."
17) "The only damage I took was nerve damage. Luckily, mine are made of Iron."
18) "Explosions? Those were punches. Tsunade is kind of like my Aunt now. "
19)"I can no-sell deadly attacks, but every time I do that I lose one hair permanently. Being bald is a terrible fate so I try not to use it
offen. I mean, just look at Jiraiya's fabulous hair."
20) "My paternal greatgrandfather was actually a dragon, so I don't burn so easily. "
21) "How sure are you that I'm not the Sage's brother wearing a Hazou disguise? Like, really really sure?"
22) "I tricked the shockwave into forgetting about me, but I didn't speak fast enough to get to the other one in time."
23) "Hiding Like a Mole is not the only mole based tunneling jutsu. But damn do I need some practice with the Whac-a-Mole technique."
24) "Explosions? Yes, those are often a side effect of the Hazouken technique. Shame I haven't figured out how to deal with the shockwave fucking with my ears. Most unyouthful, Gai will be disappointed..."
25)"I warned him about the proximity tags. If only he had a split second defensive jutsu like the... well nevermind. It's a Jiraiya special."
26)"I used the Wood Release to block it with some trees but unfortunately they burnt up afterwards. Not too environmentally friendly, I know."
27) "That's just how Captain Kakashi taught me to bake cookies. You should have seen the actual training."
28) "The Watchers don't give you shiny explosives to use? They must like me more."
29) "That was just a side effect of the Power of Yourh."
30) "If you think thats cool, I have this jutsu that lets me see whatever I want within a five mile radius. "
31) "While we were missing nin, I had
lunch with this creepy pale guy. I woke up a week later. Long story short: my body is a lot tougher than it looks, and very occasionally the nightmares stop."
