Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

[Cariyaga]

Hm. I kind of suspect our proctor is one of Mari's old friends. Maybe her teacher?

This level of fucking-with-the-silly-genins'-heads is very familiar.

e: ...Also, if I'm right here, it's going to be weird considering my history of picking up on Mari-related things, like back during game night.

 

[thamuzz]

Idea: contact yakuza. Inform them of our proctor's plan. Suggest that the yakuza encourage local merchants to acquire the drugs at a premium on the yakuza's behalf.
Our side would be to
A) offer to cover any financial losses the yakuza suffer should if the new Mizukazlge take a hard line stance
B) offer to use our connections to influence the new Mizukage's policy in a direction that is profitable to the yakuza in these regards
and
C) offer some extra payment on top

EDIT: Now that I'm awake, I'm worried about points A and C violating the whole "Don't give money to the client" thing.

 

[Roomba]

When it comes to replenishing Noburi's chakra, what stops him from taking a short trip out of Mist and draining some convenient body of water? Even the second event marsh should be fine.

Being able to consistently use more chakra (Pangolin and water clones out for all client travels) would make this much safer.

Idea: contact yakuza. Inform them of our proctor's plan. Suggest that the yakuza encourage local merchants to acquire the drugs at a premium on the yakuza's behalf.
Our side would be to
A) offer to cover any financial losses the yakuza suffer should if the new Mizukazlge take a hard line stance
B) offer to use our connections to influence the new Mizukage's policy in a direction that is profitable to the yakuza in these regards
and
C) offer some extra payment on top

EDIT: Now that I'm awake, I'm worried about points A and C violating the whole "Don't give money to the client" thing.

Click to shrink...

We've already done this, in as deniable of a manner as possible. Keiko sent a gift of explosive tags to the Oyabun along with a message that we'll be busy guarding a merchant whose success we really care about.

Trying to make any promises about the new Mizukage's policy is essentially lying about our contacts, which I'd rather not do.

 

[Anderkent]

Sooo, here's a problem; don't think anyone made it explicit yet

1. The Yakuza currently do not tolerate drug trade.
2. So if they find out about our lovely granny, they will attempt to stop / punish her
3. Presumably a yakuza beating pops a henge, making us sad
4. Any injury to civilians, as much as a bruise, caused by us is grounds for disqualification and worse
5. criminals are still civilians

I don't think we can ever protect the granny from yakuza thugs without giving them bruises. Maaaybe if we have some kind of sleep genjutsu? But even then, you get hit by one and fall badly, we get docked shitload of points.

As such as soon as we believe the yakuza have made us - unless we have an agreement with them as per previously suggested plans - we just have to leave the village and turtle up somewhere; or make sure our client cooperates fully. Which they might not want to, if they just wanna screw us over, if cooperating with the yaks loses them their earnings anyway.

I believe unless we get a deal with the crime boss, we should negotiate with our client regarding protection from civilians; or rather that we will not provide any, and only defend her from enemy ninja.

 

[thamuzz]

Sooo, here's a problem; don't think anyone made it explicit yet

1. The Yakuza currently do not tolerate drug trade.
2. So if they find out about our lovely granny, they will attempt to stop / punish her
3. Presumably a yakuza beating pops a henge, making us sad
4. Any injury to civilians, as much as a bruise, caused by us is grounds for disqualification and worse
5. criminals are still civilians

I don't think we can ever protect the granny from yakuza thugs without giving them bruises. Maaaybe if we have some kind of sleep genjutsu? But even then, you get hit by one and fall badly, we get docked shitload of points.

As such as soon as we believe the yakuza have made us - unless we have an agreement with them as per previously suggested plans - we just have to leave the village and turtle up somewhere; or make sure our client cooperates fully. Which they might not want to, if they just wanna screw us over, if cooperating with the yaks loses them their earnings anyway.

I believe unless we get a deal with the crime boss, we should negotiate with our client regarding protection from civilians; or rather that we will not provide any, and only defend her from enemy ninja.

Click to shrink...

This is why I want to inform them specifically about what our client will be getting up to.

Trying to make any promises about the new Mizukage's policy is essentially lying about our contacts, which I'd rather not do.

Click to shrink...

Note, I'm not saying claim that we can guarantee the Mizukage's policy. I'm suggesting we tell him that we can suggest things to the Hokage, who is currently in diplomatic contact with the Mizukage. That is not worthless.
This is also why I included the "offer to cover losses" clause.

 

[Jello_Raptor]

Seconding the idea that we should inform the yakuza pre-emptively. Not sure about the exact contents, but this really ought be done in some form.

 

[Roomba]

@Briefvoice looks good. What do you think about Pangolin use? Panashe likely has higher Alertness than any of the genin, so keeping her out as a spotter would be nice, if we're willing to eat the chakra cost. This is assuming she can be effective in an urban setting, which isn't guaranteed. Alternatively, can we use Pandaa somehow? Whoever it is, needs to be relatively inconspicuous.

5. Do assassinations of opportunity if one of the other teams is being careless as they travel?

Click to shrink...

How would this look? They're walking in the middle of the street and we just lob a training explosive tag at them? Makes sense if the scout is Keiko, who is probably the best choice in terms of... client preferences.

Some stuff from me:

Establishing rapport with the client

• Be friendly. At minimum try not to show how uncomfortable she makes Hazou and Noburi.
• Respond to some of her flirting jokingly. If she becomes too forward, rebuff her gently and inform her that your professionalism demands that certain boundaries not be crossed.
• Find a way for Hazou and Noburi to engage her. Maybe she wants to listen to some made up stories of ninja adventures. Maybe Noburi can talk to her about her knowledge of herbs. Or perhaps she likes talking about her business. We want her to like spending time with us, less chance of her wanting to gallivant around the city in her free time out of boredom.
• Whenever she is resistant to some of our security practices, try to leverage our good rapport and charm her into agreement.

Attack response:

• Always have at least two people (one can be a Noburi clone) close to the client whenever she's out of the palanquin, with Blocks prepared for stopping any attack targetting her.
• If she follows our instructions and ducks and it's practical to do so, deploy an Earth Dome above her. Demonstrate this to her ahead of time so she doesn't panic if it happens.
• Otherwise, move her into cover without breaking the Henge. Always be on the lookout for appropriate cover.
• If three people (counting clones and Pangolin) are available, one goes after the attacker. Don't start a full on fight in the city streets, but attempt to intercept and stop them from going after the client.
• Once the attacker is confirmed to have fled, proceed as previously planned.

 

[Briefvoice]

Sooo, here's a problem; don't think anyone made it explicit yet

1. The Yakuza currently do not tolerate drug trade.
2. So if they find out about our lovely granny, they will attempt to stop / punish her

Click to shrink...

I don't get how this works, though. They know she's a fucking ninja and that this is all a game being played for the Exam. It's not like this is a "real" drug trade. It's even explicitly legal (for us at least).

So what do they gain from trying to stop/punish her?

 

[Briefvoice]

@Briefvoice looks good. What do you think about Pangolin use? Panashe likely has higher Alertness than any of the genin, so keeping her out as a spotter would be nice, if we're willing to eat the chakra cost. This is assuming she can be effective in an urban setting, which isn't guaranteed. Alternatively, can we use Pandaa somehow? Whoever it is, needs to be relatively inconspicuous.

Click to shrink...

Per my calculations, Keiko can't bear the chakra cost of keeping a pangolin out for the whole day. So the question is, what portion of the day is it most worthwhile to have a pangolin out?

 

[faflec]

Per my calculations, Keiko can't bear the chakra cost of keeping a pangolin out for the whole day. So the question is, what portion of the day is it most worthwhile to have a pangolin out?

Click to shrink...

The time where her Alertness is most needed. Maybe the nighttime?

 

[Winged_One]

It's great that impression turned out to be mistaken then, because being under permanent house arrest doesn't seem very enjoyable as game, separate from its merits for Hazou.

Click to shrink...

Everyone has different tastes. I'd find logistics planning and research into chakra/seals quite enjoyable myself.

The hag chuckled. "Aren't you a sharp one? Any sharper and you'll cut yourself, little girl. Very well, in my capacity as a Chūnin Exam proctor, I confirm that there will be no legal consequences for you as a result of assisting me in this event.

Click to shrink...

No legal consequences? How about reputational ones? How about illegal consequences with e.g. Yakuza? How about legal consequences for other people, e.g. Jiraya who is presumably responsible for us in his capacity as the clan head and Hokage?

*puts on Mari hat*

*cracks knuckles*

Show time, people! Our lead actor, one "Gouketsu Hazou" is playing the role of a shy chunin candidate who is struggling against his taboo desires for disgusting old hags. The villain of our story, played by our proctor, has stolen the protagonist's heart, and our hero must confront his feelings and win a kiss from the villain without revealing his inner struggle to his teammates-who-would-never-understand.

Lights! Sharingan! Action!

---

The purpose of this is three-fold:

1. Focuses the entirety of the proctor's nonsense onto Hazou, taking some pressure off of Kei and Noburi.
2. Makes the proctor grade us highly on "did the character of the merchant get a positive impression of the candidates?"
3. Puts the proctor on the back foot in regards to the mind games. No one expects us to turn around something like "literally-a-witch is perving on you".

Click to shrink...

Seems like a good response. Even if she doesn't buy it, she might get bored with her act if we stop cringing.

Excellent, I wasn't sure if I should post these here or on the wiki.

(flips through hand seals)

1000 (7.5) bad ideas no Jutsu!

Industrial seals: I have an idea on how to get the merchant council on board with this. Rather than sell or use the seals ourselves, we sell/lease them to the merchant council. The merchant council then gets to decide which merchants get to use them, and for how much. This gives the merchant council even more power than they already have, because now every merchant has an extra incentive be on their good side.

anyway, onto the actual seals.

Glass. Pour in sand, and it slowly extrudes at a high temperature in a given form factor. This should result in glass. The seal only works if seals can add heat to stored objects, which seems to be within their capabilities. Should be suspended from a ceiling to prevent the extruded shape from falling over.

Click to shrink...

I don't know about extrusion into a form, but just extruding molten glass seems like a modification of the storage seal that tinkers with the stress parameters some. Things heat up when you crush them and all.

Smelter. Dump in ore, only emit metal. Might require a redox agent, I know very little about smelting. Requires the ability to selectively release items from the seal, which might be impossible.

Click to shrink...

This seems like a modificaiton of the Purifier seal. I think it was discussed before even, so good idea.

Fiber spinning seal. Dump in fibers, get out thread or yarn. Requires the ability to emit object with angular momentum, or manipulate them while stored. Alternatively, you could spin the seal itself.

Click to shrink...

Good idea if it works for large volumes, otherwise research cost is probably too great when compared to mechanical version.

Loom. Same concept, but you put in thread instead of fiber, and get out clothing.

Click to shrink...

Loom seems easier to do in mechanical form, given that it was a fairly old invention.

pipe laying seal. Given that an earth wall seal is possible, a seal that spits out pipe sections with a few options such as long short, left, right, and straight, should be possible. Maybe using something more flexible than granite, to stop really long pipes from cracking.

Click to shrink...

It's not really clear what the advantage is when compared to using MEW directly.

Something to dramatically increase the surface tension of water, which was stored within the seal before activation. So that instead of flowing away it sticks in one huge droplet. This allows us to place water on the battlefield and have it stay there. It is both an obstacle and a point that Noburi can attack from. The increased tension should fade over time, otherwise it will probably kill whatever tries to drink it.

Alternate version of above: water dome. It works almost like air dome, but it affects water instead of air. So release a bunch of water via storage seal, and then lock it in place. Hopefully we can lock it slightly less firmly than air dome, so that Noburi can still manipulate it, or at least manipulate through it. Obviously, this can only be used against people we know don't have a water element.

Invisible mist seal: alter the refractive index of water so that it is the same or nearly the same as the refractive index of air. Staple to a misterator.

Click to shrink...

Evil physicist laughter can be heard in the background

Nice seals, we should totally make these.

I was actually asking about marking the bandanas before the tournament and just having Shino assassinate all of the clients except the leaf teams, but that's good to know too.

It is definitively not, though it seems to be something that was unexpected from Kagome -- it's something Jiraiya talked up to him, IIRC.

Click to shrink...

Purifier releases specific objects out of the set, so it's possible.

 

[faflec]

Oh I get it.

There are gonna be multiple clients selling the same goods, which means we, and they, are gonna be fighting each other to take out rival clients in order to get more cash and points.

Who else thinks that we're gonna go up against the most powerful teams?

 

[Roomba]

Per my calculations, Keiko can't bear the chakra cost of keeping a pangolin out for the whole day. So the question is, what portion of the day is it most worthwhile to have a pangolin out?

Click to shrink...

She can have Panashe out for 3 hours, though it eats the entirety of her chakra. If we could get both trades done in that time, it would be worthwhile. The longer-term problem is that the chakra expenditure may be too much for Noburi to absorb via whatever means available to him.

I guess that for the time being, we can bring her out whenever one of ours goes hunting.

 

[MadScientist]

Who else thinks that we're gonna go up against the most powerful teams?

Click to shrink...

If the QMs continue to roll dice for enemy tier then probabilistically not. But if Mist have set things up so that only the high-tiers are competing with us... as they definitely have... then yes.

 

[Vecht]

[X] Armageddon Initiative
Ignore this plan and do the plan that says not to do this plan.

 

[Briefvoice]

Okay, putting up a plan so we at least have something in place. Go ahead and start suggesting changes/edits.

[X] Plan Bewitched!

Establishing Rapport with the Client

• Be friendly. At minimum try not to show how uncomfortable she makes Hazou and Noburi.
• Respond to some of her flirting jokingly. If she becomes too forward, rebuff her gently and inform her that your professionalism demands that certain boundaries not be crossed.
• Find a way for Hazou and Noburi to engage her. Maybe she wants to listen to some made up stories of ninja adventures. Maybe Noburi can talk to her about her knowledge of herbs. Or perhaps she likes talking about her business. We want her to like spending time with us, less chance of her wanting to gallivant around the city in her free time out of boredom.
  • As befits his higher Presence, Hazou is probably best off trying to project confidence
  • As befits his higher Rapport, Noburi is best for being chatty
• Whenever she is resistant to some of our security practices, try to leverage our good rapport and charm her into agreement.

Establish a SOP with Granny Karina
(all of this done with the greatest politeness)

Moving Granny Karina Around

• During travel, one team member takes to the rooftops to have a higher field of vision while the other two stick closer to the palanquin to be able to converse with with client and keep ground-level eyes out
  • Given client's expressed preferences, Keiko should normally be on rooftop duty
• When we arrive at a location, the group will stop in the street outside. Karina stays in the palanquin.
• One team member will go in to scout the location for assassins and announce Karina's arrival.
• The other two stay on guard outside, looking for snipers. (If necessary, send someone to investigate any suspicious areas where an enemy sniper might be concealed.)
• Determine if Karina needs to take in a sample case of some sort. If so, then it will be carried either before or after her, but not at the same time.
• If all seems safe, Karina will exit the palanquin and be escorted inside by all three ninjas. Instruct her that if danger appears, she is to duck down and huddle on the spot and we will protect her. Running will only expose her to danger.
  • See "attack response" discussion below for more details.
• Reverse this procedure upon exiting.
  • Palanquin to be inspected for traps before Karina enters it each time

Attack Response

• Always have at least two people (one can be a Noburi clone) close to the client whenever she's out of the palanquin, with Blocks prepared for stopping any attack targeting her.
• If she follows our instructions and ducks be prepared to deploy an Earth Dome above her. Demonstrate this to her ahead of time so she doesn't panic if it happens.
  • Unless we identify the attackers a Rock team or anyone else we suspect can manipulate the ground that can manipulate the ground, in which case get her the hell off the ground.
• Otherwise, move her into cover without breaking the Henge. Always be on the lookout for appropriate cover.
• If three people (counting clones and Pangolin) are available, one goes after the attacker. Don't start a full on fight in the city streets, but attempt to intercept and stop them from going after the client.
• Once the attacker is confirmed to have fled, proceed as previously planned.

Where are we going?

Determine Immediate Destination

• If Karin has no preferences on order, we will respectfully suggest going to the up-and-coming business first and then the upmarket area second.
  • Our team's logic is that the upmarket area is likely to be where many teams will travel, and we want to have a chance to scout it out before jumping into the mix.
  • In addition, Hazou is most familiar with the up-and-coming area and has better chance of noticing anything unusual

Discuss Longer Term Plans with Grandma Karina

• Respectfully inquire with Karina if she has appointments at specific times/places over the next five days
• Determine if she has any plans for meals.
  • Will she be taking dinner meetings?
  • We of course desire to ensure that her food is safe. We are happy to go out and buy food for her, watch its preparation, prepare it ourselves, or whatever will ensure client-san a satisfying and safe meal experience.

Offer Grandma Karina the Opportunity to Trade with the Pangolins

• Bring up that as the Pangolin Summoner, Keiko could offer access to an untapped market
• Pangolins aren't humans so one would have to be cautious about trading drugs, but Keiko would be happy to summon a pangolin and allow Karina to see if she can sell anything - can't hurt, right?
  • If Karina drops into Proctor mode, be prepared to truthfully swear that this is not transferring money - if the pangolins buy, they'll be buying for real

While at the Shop

• Inform Karina respectfully that for her safety one member of the team will be going ahead to scout the next location while the other two guard her during negotiations.
  • Default to having the team member back within an hour or so, unless Karina thinks negotiations will be faster or much slower.
• Send one team member to the next area by rooftops and to go check out the next location and the path to it, checking out potential ambush spots along the way.
  • Likely this will be Keiko, but we can quickly discuss by handsigns. Keiko can send a Messanger Pangolin as required as well.
• While doing this, try to spot other teams, their method of travel, and their merchants. See what's visible.
• Fate Point Declaration: We prearranged a message drop location with the other teams where we can communicate information back and forth dropping messages in a Leaf code.
  • Keiko can drop off message identifying our client's trade and that she acquiesced to our arrangements for the night and any observations she may have made about other teams along the way.
    
  • Check to see if other teams have dropped any messages of their own.
  • Attempt to arrange meeting later in the night where teams can send representatives to exchange information in person
    • Ideally we'll all be staying at the same boarding house so this will be literally no problem at all
• Otherwise Keiko's actions are to her own best judgment. If she sees a target of opportunity from a team that's being careless, she can drop a trianing explosive their way

• Two members remaining at the shop are to remain on their guard but also observe the negotiating process closely.

Contingencies

If another team with a client in the drug trade shows up.

• Prioritize protecting our client over targeting theirs
  • Move Karina back, move into blocking position.
  • Do not be the first to initiate combat and be open to rapid negotiation if they seem to hesitate
    • It's not going to improve our rating to needlessly pic a fight in front of the client
      
    • Unless the other team are total suckers and leave such an easy shot we can't resist taking it, of course.

If the Yakuza show up trying to enforce their no-drug-trade rule

• Attempt a social intervention by convincing them to step to the side and listen to you before acting
  • Drop Saitō's name.
  • Explain (if these particular enforcers are unaware) that this is a game for purposes of the Exam and attempt to convince them to step away and at least check with Mr. Saitō before interfering further.

Spoiler: Edit Log

EDIT LOG:

• Edit Batch 1:
  • Adding an offer to facilitate pangolin trade with Grandma Karina. What reason does she have to refuse another market?
  • Editing contingencies for "if another team shows up" to concentrate on protecting our own client and not starting a fight rather than assuming talking our way out of it.
  • Editing combat contingencies to avoid earth dome against teams from hidden Rock.
  • Adding contingencies to protection from poison.

 

[MadScientist]

Attempt a social intervention to prevent things moving to combat.

Click to shrink...

As a combat team, we probably want things to move to combat, I think. Do our high numbers let us block for Karina better?

 

[Enjou]

*snip*

Click to shrink...

The rules of the event make direct attacks on the client generally less desirable as an approach than they would normally be. As such, I think we may want to take a few precautions:

1. Henge checks against anyone trying to approach the client for direct contact when possible/socially acceptable to do so. When not possible, just be on alert. A hostile ninja team could replace or pose as a merchant.
2. We may want to ensure there's no "poison" in the client's food. Even something that would put her to sleep might count as a kill, for the purposes of the exam. This might mean ensuring we see any food prepared, or bring food to her, instead of allowing the inn we're staying at to do it.

 

[Briefvoice]

As a combat team, we probably want things to move to combat, I think. Do our high numbers let us block for Karina better?

Click to shrink...

They should, but a fight is always uncertain. What do you recommend the contingency should be if we walk into a store and there's a team there with their client (or vice versa). Yell "Get 'em" and attack? (That's not sarcasm- I'm open to the argument.)

The rules of the event make direct attacks on the client generally less desirable as an approach than they would normally be. As such, I think we may want to take a few precautions:

1. Henge checks against anyone trying to approach the client for direct contact when possible/socially acceptable to do so. When not possible, just be on alert. A hostile ninja team could replace or pose as a merchant.

Click to shrink...

They would have to hide their bandana somehow which is really frowned upon. The bandanas are there to prevent people not involved in the Exam from being harassed.

2. We may want to ensure there's no "poison" in the client's food. Even something that would put her to sleep might count as a kill, for the purposes of the exam. This might mean ensuring we see any food prepared, or bring food to her, instead of allowing the inn we're staying at to do it.

Click to shrink...

Per the revised rules, it only counts as a kill if the henge is broken. Can poison break a henge?

 

[Vecht]

As a combat team, we probably want things to move to combat, I think.

Click to shrink...

This isn't necessarily true. Being better at combat may mean that we'll do better than other teams if it comes to combat, but short of instigating an all-out brawl that doesn't preclude the possibility of better outcomes overall sans combat. FWIW, I believe that to definitely be the case here, unless we take significant and nontrivial precautions to ensure our own client's safety.

(Note that this doesn't rule out using threats of combat as leverage.)

 

[KaGoGoGadgetMe]

I don't get how this works, though. They know she's a fucking ninja and that this is all a game being played for the Exam. It's not like this is a "real" drug trade. It's even explicitly legal (for us at least).

So what do they gain from trying to stop/punish her?

Click to shrink...

The yakuza know its not real, the government knows its not real, but do the general populace know it's not real? Assuming that most plebs are unaware, what it looks like to them is that the yaks are getting slack. Conceivably that could be seen as an affront to their honour, and as we've been strongly reminded by Jiraiya, honour is a big deal. The yakuza may feel that they need to continue their explicit anti-drug-dealer policy on principle.

 

[Roomba]

Combat in general is disincentivized by the collateral rules. If it comes to a team vs team clash, with clients in tow, we have an advantage because we're good at combat, and able to encase our client in a protective shell. However, such a clash is likely to be a negative-sum game, as even small amounts of collateral damage result in major penalties for both teams. As such, I think it's better to not fight unless forced, and always prefer withdrawal as a tactic even then.

 

[Briefvoice]

Can someone remind me of how earth and air domes work again?

Does it require two people to trigger? Do they have to be inside the dome? If not, how can the dome be released?

Basically, I worry that if it takes two people and they're both inside the dome, that traps our third party member outside and unsupported. And if we're all inside the dome, the enemies can just beat on it until it's down.

 

[Immortal Lurker]

If we learn who Karina is dealing with and what exactly she is trying to sell them, would advertising be possible? Hazou should be able to very quickly make decent quality posters and put them up around town. Noburi might be able to convince local hooligans that whatever questionably legal herbs we are selling are what all the cool kids are getting high on these days.

potential problems:

Advertising will almost certainly reveal who we are. We are walking around un henged though, so that ship has probably sailed. The fact that we could do it might leak information on the iron nerve. They might just assume we made a woodcut and copied them like that. We could just use a woodcut.

Convincing the cool kids to smoke whatever we are selling might be difficult with the bandanna. Also, we probably shouldn't do it if we are selling really hard drugs, like heroin. Don't want that on our conscience.

 

[Briefvoice]

"Hey kids, would you like to take part in the Cool Crime of drug abuse? See these awesome bandanas? You could be cool dudes like us if you- No, this isn't an anti-drug street skit, why do you ask?"