Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
We forgot the 'back' part, though.
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard open voting
Omake: Chapter 159: Voluntary, Arbitrary, Extraordinary, Temporary Solitary Confinement
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
In case anyone is also eager for the next update and can't wait any longer, here is a sneak peak from the "public" QM Google docs:
Why do I always get the talky plans? Why me? What did I do to deserve this?! I will show them, I will show them all the errors of cros [at this point the text becomes unreadable]
o-o-o-o
Sprawling around his table were a handful of the seals he requested from the proctor earlier, all ready to compare them between each other in case there were variations within the batch. Hazo had a feeling the night light seals looked surprisingly simple to reproduce himself and...
he was correct!
Immediately he carefully began writing his prototype. After checking it over again he could see no mistakes and began infusing it which...
did not summon another Evil Twin of himself (he got tired of that happening ages ago and besides he didn't believe a word the Evil Twin said about hearing multiple, paranoid voices in his head. Hazo was not like that at all and perfectly sane, thankyouverymuch) nor did anything try to invade his home dimension. Yay!
"Alright, lets get this party started!" he yelled at no one in particular. Because he was alone. In the bunker. Voluntarily.
Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Then Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. After that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Next Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Again Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Once more Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Following that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. 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Once more Hazo inscribed the piece of pap -
Hazo immediately jumped off his chair and assumed a fighting stance. No way they would take him ali-
"Hey Hazo, we have our first taker from Mist and - why are you holding that Kunai?", Keiko the Outdoors Living Traitor and Great Spook said.
"Oh, you know. Can never be too careful. Also I think I might go crazy in here. Why did I agree to this plan again?" he shuddered. "Anyway, the finished seals are on the pile to the right. Feel free to take them."
Keiko was giving him a measuring look, wondering if she should even bother replying to Hazo's usual self-doubt shortly after coming up with a plan. She found it weird at first but now got used to it, with Noburi and her agreeing not to mention the panicked screams Hazo seemed to randomly emit every 3 to 4 days (And wasn't the regularity just odd? It had started over two years ago and yet it showed no signs of stopping and Hazo himself didn't seem to notice at all).
"I think I will." she finally replied. She grabbed the pile and made for the door but suddenly stopped as if she was debating something. At last, she turned around, "You know, Noburi punched a squirrel."
"He what?!"
"He says he thought it was a summon but I think he is just going stir crazy. "
Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Then Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. After that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Next Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Again Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Once more Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Following that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. 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Hazo took a long sip from his water canteen. Wouldn't want to get dehydrated after all!
Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Then Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. After that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Next Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Again Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Once more Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Following that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. 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XP AWARD: 1 (Because Noburi actually punched something.)
This updated covered 46 hours. There are 2 hours remaining for the second stage and you have just requested all the seals that the proctor had on hand.
Vote time! What do you do now?
[] Inflict wanton violence to anyone looking at you funny while making your way back to the turn-in spot for the seals.
[] Punch people. Anyone will do, I begyoudontdothistomeagain.
Write-ins are not allowed.
Voting ends on Wednesday, September 20, 2017, at 12pm London time.
Things I didn't get to write due to pacifism-induced sadness:
o-o-o-o
"I think the camp is fortified enough for the moment being." Hazo said after giving the area around him another critical look. He was especially proud of the MEW bunker which was, for the most part, underground. Hinata had volunteered to keep an eye out for anyone trying to approach from below so they should be reasonably safe (he guiltily ignored Kagome-sensei's voice in his head telling him that there was no such thing as being safe). "Keiko, can you get one of your summons to observe and - if necessary - follow the proctor to our North? We might be able to figure out where they keep their stashes of seals."
Keiko nodded in acknowledgement of his point and left.
Now there was little else putting off actually going inside the bunker and working on the seals. Nothing at all. Yet, for some reason he could not explain, he lingered outside, hoping to hear sounds of combat which would require him to step in and help. But none came so he had no choice but to go inside and get to work.
Keiko nodded in acknowledgement of his point and left.
Now there was little else putting off actually going inside the bunker and working on the seals. Nothing at all. Yet, for some reason he could not explain, he lingered outside, hoping to hear sounds of combat which would require him to step in and help. But none came so he had no choice but to go inside and get to work.
o-o-o-o
Sprawling around his table were a handful of the seals he requested from the proctor earlier, all ready to compare them between each other in case there were variations within the batch. Hazo had a feeling the night light seals looked surprisingly simple to reproduce himself and...
he was correct!
Immediately he carefully began writing his prototype. After checking it over again he could see no mistakes and began infusing it which...
did not summon another Evil Twin of himself (he got tired of that happening ages ago and besides he didn't believe a word the Evil Twin said about hearing multiple, paranoid voices in his head. Hazo was not like that at all and perfectly sane, thankyouverymuch) nor did anything try to invade his home dimension. Yay!
"Alright, lets get this party started!" he yelled at no one in particular. Because he was alone. In the bunker. Voluntarily.
o-o-o-o
Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Then Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. After that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Next Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Again Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Once more Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Following that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. 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Once more Hazo inscribed the piece of pap -
Hazo immediately jumped off his chair and assumed a fighting stance. No way they would take him ali-
"Hey Hazo, we have our first taker from Mist and - why are you holding that Kunai?", Keiko the Outdoors Living Traitor and Great Spook said.
"Oh, you know. Can never be too careful. Also I think I might go crazy in here. Why did I agree to this plan again?" he shuddered. "Anyway, the finished seals are on the pile to the right. Feel free to take them."
Keiko was giving him a measuring look, wondering if she should even bother replying to Hazo's usual self-doubt shortly after coming up with a plan. She found it weird at first but now got used to it, with Noburi and her agreeing not to mention the panicked screams Hazo seemed to randomly emit every 3 to 4 days (And wasn't the regularity just odd? It had started over two years ago and yet it showed no signs of stopping and Hazo himself didn't seem to notice at all).
"I think I will." she finally replied. She grabbed the pile and made for the door but suddenly stopped as if she was debating something. At last, she turned around, "You know, Noburi punched a squirrel."
"He what?!"
"He says he thought it was a summon but I think he is just going stir crazy. "
o-o-o-o
Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Then Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. After that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Next Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Again Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Once more Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Following that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. 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After that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Next Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Again Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Once more Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Following that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Temporally sequential to that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. After that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Furthermore Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Still Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Later Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. And Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Then Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. After that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Next Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Again Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Once more Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Following that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Temporally sequential to that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. After that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Furthermore Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Still Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Later Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. And Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Then Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. After that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Next Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Again Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Once more Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Following that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Temporally sequential to that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. After that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Furthermore Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Still Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Later Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. And Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went.
o-o-o-o
Hazo took a long sip from his water canteen. Wouldn't want to get dehydrated after all!
o-o-o-o
Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Then Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. After that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Next Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Again Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Once more Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Following that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Temporally sequential to that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. After that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Furthermore Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Still Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Later Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. And Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Then Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. After that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Next Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Again Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Once more Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Following that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Temporally sequential to that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. After that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Furthermore Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Still Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Later Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. And Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Then Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. After that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Next Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Again Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Once more Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Following that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Temporally sequential to that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. After that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Furthermore Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Still Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Later Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. And Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Then Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. After that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Next Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Again Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Once more Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Following that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Temporally sequential to that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. After that Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Furthermore Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Still Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. Later Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went. And Hazo inscribed the piece of paper and infused it, putting it on the pile to his right where the finished seals went.
XP AWARD: 1 (Because Noburi actually punched something.)
This updated covered 46 hours. There are 2 hours remaining for the second stage and you have just requested all the seals that the proctor had on hand.
Vote time! What do you do now?
[] Inflict wanton violence to anyone looking at you funny while making your way back to the turn-in spot for the seals.
[] Punch people. Anyone will do, I begyoudontdothistomeagain.
Write-ins are not allowed.
Voting ends on Wednesday, September 20, 2017, at 12pm London time.
Things I didn't get to write due to pacifism-induced sadness:
- The Sand team and the team from Lightning had an epic battle, with combat rolls so close there is just no chance to reproduce them in the life time of the universe. You should have seen it, it was amazing. But you didn't because you were holed up in your fortress.
- The proctor you interrogated in your base gave you hints as to where the next exam will be had. Here is what you could make out so plan accordingly (assuming, of course, you didn't start hallucinating due to being isolated for so long because those were some thick walls, I tell you): South I TOLD YOU I WOULD biggest NOT BE MERCIFUL IF THERE WAS NO when the bird PUNCHING NOW DEAL WITH IT twenty-one.
- You distantly heard your allied teams going out to scout and discuss the results. Unfortunately, you couldn't make out any actual words because you were holed up in your little bunker.
- There was a rainbow outside. No, scratch that. A double rainbow. It's a shame you didn't get to see my 5k word essay on it because, technically, your PoV character did not see it.
- Akane's team mate, Haru Yamamoto, dropped some heavy hints regarding his real identity and alignment. It's a pity you can't see or hear through walls however.
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Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
Yeah, you'd think someone as veteran of a writer as @eaglejarl would know this but I guess the draft hasn't been beta'd yet.
(Although he would probably tell you that this is intentional. Just a guess though.)
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Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Couple innacuracies, @eaglejarl: Sealing is done based off of numbers that you need to hit; as far as I'm aware, seals don't roll against you. Also, Hazou's sealing is 20, not 11.
- Location
- Somewhere over the rainbow
No, it makes sense in context; Hazou has -9 Boredom malus die, and chakra really doesn't like not punching anyone and instead being told to make a pretty light for forty six hours straight.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
...
You'd like to read something interesting and that would be a start? A start?
A start?!?!?!?!!! What do you call the last two years?!?!?!!!
Oh, @Cariyaga. I never expected such from you. Others, sure. I shan't say their names because it would be rude, but there are certainly Philistines among the audience who have been so lacking in literary awareness as to criticize us. You, though...I had always pegged you for one of the nice ones. The well-reasoned, calm, emotionally stable ones. The supporters who stuck by us. But no, apparently I was wrong. Apparently the three-quarters of a million words of free entertainment we have provided you wasn't interesting.
I suppose I should just quit. Wounded in my heart, I shall place down my pen, never to take it up again. Alas, fair muse, you must depart. Cariyaga has laid plain to me the truth. Weep, weep oh unborn generations. Nevermore shall my words...ah, who am I kidding? There's a chapter to write, no matter how heartless the audience.
Huh. I would have assumed your parents had had this discussion with you, but I guess I can help out.
How do you make new Wakahisa? Well, first, Mommy and Daddy Wakahisa love each other very much. Like, very much. Then they go dancing and they don't leave enough room between them for Jesus to dance in, so Mommy Wakahisa gets really big in the tummy. Then, a while later...you know what, go ask your mother.
Well, they do now!
*grumble, gumble, spend the whole update making seals instead of punching people grumble never any punching just talking gumble friggin' Chūnin Exams, the ninja Olympics, grumble, all about punching people, but noooo. They need to "talk" and "engage in diplomacy" and "international politics" and "character development". Bah.*
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
I suppose we can just do sealing instead, if you'd rather write that?
- Location
- Yes.
Battle of Hidden Mountain, when we had that bunch of Aida/Inoue-nin with Tapirs charging our base.
Oh, right. Still, they charged rather than tried to sneak, so would be interesting to see if anyone will try to sneak past them.
- Location
- Australia
Is Kagome an Author-insert?
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
I would be even more terrified if so.
- Location
- Phoenix, AZ
Also, there's a big difference between Kagome constructed defenses and Hazou & genin constructed defenses.
True, though Hazou and company were taught by the master. And we're going against other genin who are near chuunin, so will be interesting to see how they fare.
- Location
- Phoenix, AZ
This is true, but also, I'm pretty sure traps are based on Stealth Score, and our stealth sucks.
We have lot of allies, everyone from Bruce Lee expy, weaker version of Skitter, all cheating eyes, etc.
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So we came up with a plan where we fortify our position and set up a bunch of traps... where the traps are all fairly obvious because of shitty stealth?
- Location
- Phoenix, AZ
I mean, given we wanted a fortified position, the alternative was to not trap it? Which seemed silly?So we came up with a plan where we fortify our position and set up a bunch of traps... where the traps are all fairly obvious because of shitty stealth?
Hopefully either the obvious quantity of explosives will scare people away, or some of the other Leaf nin will have a decent stealth score.
- Location
- Phoenix, AZ
Eh, if he thinks LBF is a clan secret, I wouldn't be surprised.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
IIRC LBF is relatively-rare, but not unheard of.
e: Also he was considering making them publically available via wandguns. I don't think he considers it a clan secret.
Jello_Raptor
(Confirmed Jelly)
- Location
- Left of Center
Why is everyone assuming the other leaf teams will go along with this? Or that they'll actually help if they do?
I mean, we are talking about a group of people who contain "lazier than a rock dude", "destiny before reason guy", "shy enough to implode if you look at her wrong girl", "agressively mediocre woman", "the wielder of the famed homoerotic fist technique", and "doggo2".
I mean, we are talking about a group of people who contain "lazier than a rock dude", "destiny before reason guy", "shy enough to implode if you look at her wrong girl", "agressively mediocre woman", "the wielder of the famed homoerotic fist technique", and "doggo2".