Remove ads

Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

Reader mode
huhYeahGoodPoint said:
Speaking of which, are you still rewriting it? Is there anyway we can help with that?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
All of my non-MfD creative time is going to the rewrite. The problem is that that's not very much. I know some people can just sit down and churn out X words a day whatever the weather, but I can't write at the peak quality I'm aiming for unless I'm in the right frame of mind, which requires hard-to-attain things like decent sleep and a motivated mental state.

I'm not sure how other people can help - I mean, beta readers are always good, in theory, but that's not the bottleneck here. With that said, I'd really appreciate any feedback on things that I should take advantage of the rewrite to fix, like weak sections, implausible twists and plot holes.
 
Velorien said:
and a motivated mental state.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Does music help?

I regularly use preset music playlists in different activity-sets to moderate my mental state. (bouncy/upbeat to get me through work, DnB/drumstep for driving, ambient/ethereal for sleep, etc.)

I like to recommend music to people based on their tastes, and try to continually increase the accuracy of how well-received song choices are by the recipient given their input. If you want(and don't already have a copious amount of music(I've had one person tell me "thanks, but I've already got a few thousand songs on my phone already tagged and playlisted")), I can spend some time looking for songs that you might like.

Edit: Actually, this offer is open to all QMs.
@eaglejarl @OliWhail
 
Last edited:
ContextBot said:
@faflec , While I don't know enough about shinobi culture, I think Kagome swearing fealty (and us forming some weird alliance that way) to Minami Nikko has consequences we should be wary about, mainly annoying the Hyuga any futher:
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Done.
Inferno Vulpix said:
@faflec, can you add a line about, if we have time, investigating those Mountain seals? I get the feeling we'll have some spare time next update, so now's the time to take a look at them.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Done.
Enjou said:
I'm rather certain his bribe of fealty covers the mist drain secret too. But we can always ask the GMs to confirm - @eaglejarl, @Velorien, @OliWhail?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Kagome is trying to, I think. But my opinion is that this isn't sufficient. Kagome's promise is only good to the extent that he can carry it out, and he can't blow up the Minami clan, even a little bit.
faflec said:
[X] Action Plan: Tea Time

  • General thoughts:
    • Make sure we discuss everything with our fellow ex missing-nin first, then with Minami as appropriate.
      • No seriously, don't just spontaneously (for example) go up to a random person and say you're selling ice, without first talking with the team.
    • When talking about mission-related plans we let Minami take the lead. We offer suggestions listed below.
      • MAKE SURE WE FOLLOW OPSEC RULES
      • Maybe talk with Keiko about our plan if we have a private moment.
    • Don't forget that we're sending regular message to Jiraiya via pangolins.
      • Update him on our progress.
      • Give him intel (esp. on Akatsuki sightings).
  • Get to the Tea contacts.
    • Use Skywalkers to move from place to place.
      • Make sure that when ascending or descending we aren't spotted.
      • We should be using chakra water to speed our movements, and refill as needed.
    • Whenever resting, do so using Skytower technology.
      • Keep a standard watch out for flying chakra monsters.
    • Make contact.
      • Everyone going to the contact together is too conspicuous (esp. with Kagome and Noburi's barrel).
        • Minami will need time to trust us again, let her decide who to make contact and who to watch from a distance.
      • Use Henge to turn into the appropriate cover, based on our knowledge of the contact.
        • Discuss this beforehand; between Hazou, Keiko, and Minami this should be easy.
      • Make sure we're prepared.
        • Everyone has the appropriate number of seals: Explosive tags, PMYF, Skywalkers, etc..
        • Everyone's topped off with Noburi's chakra beforehand.
      • Keep a watch out for potential enemy ninjas.
        • We don't want to compromise Jiraiya's contacts, and do want to catch anyone observing them.
        • If we catch one, report to Minami and discuss what to do from there.
          • Don't actually engage unless we're forced to, we don't want to get into a ninja fight.
      • Deliver the message, and ask if they have more messages to send or need "short-term muscle".
        • Ask about happenings in Water Country & Mist.
        • Don't commit to giving muscle to the contact; discuss with the team first.
  • Discuss the Mist Drain Situation.
    • Ask Noburi/Keiko if we should still do this, given recent events (i.e., Kagome pledging fealty).
    • Do this before we arrive at Tea: given the distances we should be spending several nights on Skytowers.
    • Have Noburi and Keiko lead the conversation; their higher Diplomacy skill should give us better deals.
    • We discussed things with the team earlier, this is just us discussing things with her.
      • @eaglejarl Please don't hate us for not having details :)
  • Misc. things.
    • See if merchants/local establishments are buying ice/are willing to buy ice for discount.
      • Noburi/Keiko can lead this due to having higher Diplomacy.
      • Try to lead them into thinking Leaf will have more ice to sell at these good prices.
    • If we have time, do quick study on the Hidden Mountain seals.
      • Only do this with Kagome's approval.
      • This does not mean we try to reverse-engineer the seals. This means we try to figure out what the seals do.
    • Talk with Noburi and Keiko regarding Kagome swearing fealty (?) to Minami Nikko.
      • What is this going to do regarding our clan's position with the Hyuga (who apparently hate the Minami)?
        • How much trouble will the exchange of Kagome's goods and services bring?
        • What should we do to alleviate this tension (or should we even bother)?
      • As necessary ask Minami questions for more information.
  • Other misc. things (that may be done already).
    • Discuss learning a medium-ranged weapon specialty when we return to Konoha.
      • Also suggest a possible bloodline-based combat style for her. This discussion may occur in the background.
        • Use CCnJ.
        • Note: We don't really know that much about its effectiveness in combat, but it's something that could be considered.
        • Reassure her that her current combat effectiveness and general worth as team member is not in question -- we're talking to Noburi about developing his own, too. We just want her to be even better.
        • If she questions her qualifications for this, remind her of the colossal growth she went through during our travels.
        • Make note of how impressive he found her back in Rice, and, more recently, with Kagome.
        • If Kei doesn't think a bloodline-based combat style is workable, Hazou has a few ideas for seals that could be integrated.
          • Before he gets into his ideas, does she have any to share?
          • She could work at using macerators to extend her range in interesting ways, or apply utility effects.
          • She could throw Banshee seals -- that wouldn't require any additional training.
          • Hazou had had the idea -- and he hasn't spoken to Kagome about this yet, so no promises -- of making force barrier seals that extend outward from shuriken.
          • Depending on how dev goes back at Konoha, maybe an impulse seal would be workable?
    • Discuss the method we used to escape the Mountain-nin cave (specifically, using Force Walls to direct an explosion). Ask if it's possible for us to develop combat weapons around this.
      • Obviously, do not do actual testing right now. This is theoretical discussion only.
      • Maybe stuff an implosion seal down a 5SB'd airtight tube? It could probably propel something pretty fast, though it'd need to be against a stationary target.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
 
[X] Action Plan: Tea Time

Another minor thought is that we know touch can be used to activate seals if they were designed that way, so how hard would it be to make such a seal which emitted a chakra pulse sufficient to activate another, normal seal? If we can make a seal like that with a long lifespan, we basically have the means to let civilians use seals as they please.
 
@faflec should probably talk about selling ice in locations that don't have one of Jiraiya's contact. That way enemy agents can't track the sell of ice to find his agents
 
Oneiros43 said:
@faflec should probably talk about selling ice in locations that don't have one of Jiraiya's contact. That way enemy agents can't track the sell of ice to find his agents
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
This is actually a really good point. The issue I would note is that it would require us (the entire team) to drop down from the sky at a city which isn't relevant to our mission goals, and I'm rather certain Minami would veto this.

Given this, would you think we should not do the ice trade altogether (avoid exposure of Jiraiya's agents); or would you think we should just do things as-is (getting an actual ice trade)?
 
faflec said:
This is actually a really good point. The issue I would note is that it would require us (the entire team) to drop down from the sky at a city which isn't relevant to our mission goals, and I'm rather certain Minami would veto this.

Given this, would you think we should not do the ice trade altogether (avoid exposure of Jiraiya's agents); or would you think we should just do things as-is (getting an actual ice trade)?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

I think establishing an ice trade is more important. Also I think Minami is less likely to veto it as long as she is getting a cut of the profits
 
faflec said:
Kagome is trying to, I think. But my opinion is that this isn't sufficient. Kagome's promise is only good to the extent that he can carry it out, and he can't blow up the Minami clan, even a little bit.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

I think you're underestimating Kagome if you think he can't kill even a single member of the clan. I doubt he'd be able to kill all of them, but at least a few would die in his attempt. And the clan almost certainly has some child members... you think Kagome wouldn't do it?
 
Oneiros43 said:
I think establishing an ice trade is more important. Also I think Minami is less likely to veto it as long as she is getting a cut of the profits
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I'll put a thing asking Minami if we can stop at another trade town in Tea. If she vetos it we'd still be asking in Degarashi Port (the major city in Tea). I am not writing the "get a cut of the profits" part, because I have no idea how to write it in a way that doesn't sound like we're bribing her. Which is bad.
faflec said:
[X] Action Plan: Tea Time

  • General thoughts:
    • Make sure we discuss everything with our fellow ex missing-nin first, then with Minami as appropriate.
      • No seriously, don't just spontaneously (for example) go up to a random person and say you're selling ice, without first talking with the team.
    • When talking about mission-related plans we let Minami take the lead. We offer suggestions listed below.
      • MAKE SURE WE FOLLOW OPSEC RULES
      • Maybe talk with Keiko about our plan if we have a private moment.
    • Don't forget that we're sending regular message to Jiraiya via pangolins.
      • Update him on our progress.
      • Give him intel (esp. on Akatsuki sightings).
  • Make contact with Jiraiya's agents in Tea.
    • Use Skywalkers to move from place to place.
      • Make sure that when ascending or descending we aren't spotted.
      • We should be using chakra water to speed our movements, and refill as needed.
    • Whenever resting, do so using Skytower technology.
      • Keep a standard watch out for flying chakra monsters.
    • Make contact.
      • Everyone going to the contact together is too conspicuous (esp. with Kagome and Noburi's barrel).
        • Minami will need time to trust us again, let her decide who to make contact and who to watch from a distance.
      • Use Henge to turn into the appropriate cover, based on our knowledge of the contact.
        • Discuss this beforehand; between Hazou, Keiko, and Minami this should be easy.
      • Make sure we're prepared.
        • Everyone has the appropriate number of seals: Explosive tags, PMYF, Skywalkers, etc..
        • Everyone's topped off with Noburi's chakra beforehand.
      • Keep a watch out for potential enemy ninjas.
        • We don't want to compromise Jiraiya's contacts, and do want to catch anyone observing them.
        • If we catch one, report to Minami and discuss what to do from there.
          • Don't actually engage unless we're forced to, we don't want to get into a ninja fight.
      • Deliver the message, and ask if they have more messages to send or need "short-term muscle".
        • Ask about happenings in Water Country & Mist.
        • Don't commit to giving muscle to the contact; discuss with the team first.
  • Discuss the Mist Drain Situation.
    • Ask Noburi/Keiko if we should still do this, given recent events (i.e., Kagome pledging fealty).
    • Do this before we arrive at Tea: given the distances we should be spending several nights on Skytowers.
    • Have Noburi and Keiko lead the conversation; their higher Diplomacy skill should give us better deals.
    • We discussed things with the team earlier, this is just us discussing things with her.
      • @eaglejarl Please don't hate us for not having details :)
  • Misc. things.
    • See if merchants/local establishments are buying ice/are willing to buy ice for discount.
      • Ask Minami if we can stop at a (not mission-relevant) trade town in Tea.
        • This prevents us from potentially compromising Jiraiya's agents in Degarashi Port.
      • Noburi/Keiko can lead this due to having higher Diplomacy.
      • Try to lead them into thinking Leaf will have more ice to sell at these good prices.
    • If we have time, do quick study on the Hidden Mountain seals.
      • Only do this with Kagome's approval.
      • This does not mean we try to reverse-engineer the seals. This means we try to figure out what the seals do.
    • Talk with Noburi and Keiko regarding Kagome swearing fealty (?) to Minami Nikko.
      • What is this going to do regarding our clan's position with the Hyuga (who apparently hate the Minami)?
        • How much trouble will the exchange of Kagome's goods and services bring?
        • What should we do to alleviate this tension (or should we even bother)?
      • As necessary ask Minami questions for more information.
  • Other misc. things (that may be done already).
    • Discuss learning a medium-ranged weapon specialty when we return to Konoha.
      • Also suggest a possible bloodline-based combat style for her. This discussion may occur in the background.
        • Use CCnJ.
        • Note: We don't really know that much about its effectiveness in combat, but it's something that could be considered.
        • Reassure her that her current combat effectiveness and general worth as team member is not in question -- we're talking to Noburi about developing his own, too. We just want her to be even better.
        • If she questions her qualifications for this, remind her of the colossal growth she went through during our travels.
        • Make note of how impressive he found her back in Rice, and, more recently, with Kagome.
        • If Kei doesn't think a bloodline-based combat style is workable, Hazou has a few ideas for seals that could be integrated.
          • Before he gets into his ideas, does she have any to share?
          • She could work at using macerators to extend her range in interesting ways, or apply utility effects.
          • She could throw Banshee seals -- that wouldn't require any additional training.
          • Hazou had had the idea -- and he hasn't spoken to Kagome about this yet, so no promises -- of making force barrier seals that extend outward from shuriken.
          • Depending on how dev goes back at Konoha, maybe an impulse seal would be workable?
    • Discuss the method we used to escape the Mountain-nin cave (specifically, using Force Walls to direct an explosion). Ask if it's possible for us to develop combat weapons around this.
      • Obviously, do not do actual testing right now. This is theoretical discussion only.
      • Maybe stuff an implosion seal down a 5SB'd airtight tube? It could probably propel something pretty fast, though it'd need to be against a stationary target.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
 
faflec said:
I'll put a thing asking Minami if we can stop at another trade town in Tea. If she vetos it we'd still be asking in Degarashi Port (the major city in Tea). I am not writing the "get a cut of the profits" part, because I have no idea how to write it in a way that doesn't sound like we're bribing her. Which is bad.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Think of it as offering her a long term partner ship. She can help us negotiate deals while we are on the road as well as understanding leafs potential market much better than any of team uplift. The goal is to establish a long term relationship with Minami that produces income for everyone for years
 
Oneiros43 said:
Think of it as offering her a long term partner ship. She can help us negotiate deals while we are on the road as well as understanding leafs potential market much better than any of team uplift. The goal is to establish a long term relationship with Minami that produces income for everyone for years
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Note of worry: This (i.e., a long term partnership) seems like the sort of deal that requires the input of our clan head, i.e., Jiraiya. I'm very much worried about doing a thing like this without his input, and methinks Jiraiya is a bit busy ATM. I could write a remark to send a Pangolin letter, and respond to Minami based on that?

Also I think Minami would wonder why we're asking her for understanding of Leaf's market instead of Jiraiya, but that's a non-relevant concern since she wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth like this.
 
faflec said:
Note of worry: This (i.e., a long term partnership) seems like the sort of deal that requires the input of our clan head, i.e., Jiraiya. I'm very much worried about doing a thing like this without his input, and methinks Jiraiya is a bit busy ATM. I could write a remark to send a Pangolin letter, and respond to Minami based on that?

Also I think Minami would wonder why we're asking her for understanding of Leaf's market instead of Jiraiya, but that's a non-relevant concern since she wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth like this.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

If Jiraiya stops the long term business we just apologize to Minami and literally say the Hokage forbid it. As for the reason we wouldn't ask Jiraiya for advice is that he's the hokage and has much better things to do with his time
 
Selling ice in locations where his agents is not known to be located is just asking for info to be revealed, especially if the enemy can follow reports of ice being sold in a counter-clockwise direction.
 
Oneiros43 said:
If Jiraiya stops the long term business we just apologize to Minami and literally say the Hokage forbid it
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
That's, um... not really something that can be done? I mean, if we're not asking him about it, that means the first time he finds out about it is at Konoha, and I'll be damned if the Minami didn't have some way to communicate using their prisms long distance.
 
Kiba said:
Selling ice in locations where his agents is not known to be located is just asking for info to be revealed, especially if the enemy can follow reports of ice being sold in a counter-clockwise direction.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Yeah, could be a sign that says "Cold Stone Killers were here".

Anywho, I've got an idea for a plan that I think will be significantly more amusing for the GMs to write, and thus will earn more XP. I'll mull it over while I get some grub, and then work on posting it.
 
It would be safer to just give Mari-sensei ice and let her sell it in Konoha. Once we're back in Konohagakure, we could just have a setup to give D-rank missions to ninja to transport ice.
 
Last edited:
faflec said:
we should not do the ice trade altogether
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

I'm not really seeing why we'd want to do this right now? This is more or less the middle of a crisis, and this is going to take time. Even if we find an agent to sell it through. We're talking at least half a day lost on something that we're supposed to be taking pretty seriously. To do something that really isn't time sensitive.
 
Last edited:
Reader mode
You must login or register to reply here.
Remove ads
Back
Top