The sound of a wasn't-there-when-they-moved-in deadbolt being withdrawn came faintly through the door. And then another one. And another. And another. And anoth—okay, seriously, what the fuck?
Jiraiya stepped inside and looked around. The very comfortable bed that had been here was gone and a woodsman's bedroll was rolled up in the corner. The rest of the furniture had also been removed, as had the carpet. Holes had been chopped through the floorboards in several places to provide space for waist-high red granite walls. A taller wall blocked off the window; the only light came from a trio of oil lanterns, each with a Purifier pointed at it get rid of the smoke. The granite walls and walls of the room were covered in tags, as were the floor and even the damn ceiling. He didn't recognize the designs off the bat but they were clearly not intended to provide a friendly welcome full of sparkly strawberries.
"I love what you've done with the place," Jiraiya said, trying and failing to keep a trace of snark out of his voice. "Very survivalist chic."
How long has Kagome been at this? A day? An hour or two? Most confess I am somewhat surprised at there not being concentric rings of death yet.
Kagome looked around...guiltily? Really? Well, maybe that was a good sign.
"It's more comfortable like this," he mumbled.
Jiraiya allowed a little of his frustration to seep onto his face, but he didn't stand up. "Kagome, in a few days we're going to be clan," he reminded the paranoid obsessive-compulsive obnoxious stupid ill-mannered...no, no, the very careful and socially disconnected colleague. "I will be the head of that clan, and it is my job to protect you and the rest of the team. You may not trust me yet—hells, you might not like me—but I really am on your side. Please help me protect the others."
I am telling myself that the only reason Jiraiya doesn't like Kagome yet is because he hasn't had a chance to get to know him.
Who am I kidding. I am obviously lying to myself. *sighs*
...This may be a problem.
"Half a second to two minutes. Or you can set them for proximity detonation. Good for securing the perimeter. Automatically deactivates after twelve hours in case you need to move them."
Oooh, neat. I didn't know they could do that. I am thinking we should get Kagome to create two simpler seals, one with just the proximity detection and one that just toggles on and off periodically. Once we learn those, we can apply those abilities to other seals.
"Nice." He tossed the tags into his tote and stood up, extending a hand to the ver—to his clan member and colleague. "Thanks, Kagome. These will help." A thought occurred. "I'm not leaving you unsupplied, right?"
Kagome looked at him as though he were the stupidest child in the class. "Like I'd give you my whole supply. Stinking idiot."
...Huh. I wonder where Kagome keeps all of these seals? I mean,
obviously he wouldn't give away his whole supply, but I would be surprised if he even gave away a tenth of his supply. You would think we would notice things like dozens of bags of seals being lugged about when we traveled, though.
At the word 'Jiraiya' Mari-sensei casually scratched the back of her hand in the intra-team code for danger; avoid subject.
Oh shit.
Once they were screened from the path, Mari allowed her henge to dissolve and stood revealed in all her tiny, fire-haired glory. "Hello again, Collie," she said with a wide smile and open arms.
Akane's eyes went wide and she surged forward, returning the hug fiercely before picking Mari up and whirling her around in glee. The girl was insanely strong now, and most of the breath whooshed out of Mari's lungs, but she found herself laughing anyway. Gods, how she had missed the girl!
D'aww.
Akane chuckled. "Yes, Ino came to see me. She seems nice enough. She dragged me out shopping a couple of times, and even took me to places I could afford. I've been training with Gai-sensei and, um, Lee." She looked down at the name, a bright-red flush spreading up her face.
PREPARE THE SHIPPING CHARTS
"EVERYBODY OUT! MOVE IT!" The bellow from outside the windows was backed up with a massive wave of killing intent that hit like a slap from a demon god.
Oh no. Nononononono. Noooooo.
The rest of the team was there within seconds of him; Keiko had kunai in both hands, Noburi was already summoning his Water Whip, and Kagome-sensei had chosen to blow a hole in the wall between his room and the common room instead of spending the time to disarm his traps so he could go through the door. No one was surprised; the sealmaster had been very clear about his intentions, to the point of chalking a 'door' on the wall when they first arrived so that everyone would know where not to stand.
Oh, Kagome.
Er, wait. What's the point of all the defenses if you can just knock down a wall and get in? *boggles* I guess it really is just like a security blanket for him. A security blanket made of explosions and death.
Jiraiya started to turn away, then stopped and pointed at Kagome. "You. Listen closely: You are fucking safe while you are with me. If anyone threatens any of you I will fucking burn his face off and piss on the ashes. We are going to become a clan right the fuck now, so don't screw it up. Don't talk unless I tell you to, don't threaten anyone, keep your hands in your godsdamned pockets. I am all out of fucks to give about anything at all, so don't screw with me right now. Got it?"
...
Holy crap. I fucking love Jiraiya.
...Also: HOLY FUCKING SHIT ITS STARTED
Kagome studied him for a moment, then put his hands in his pockets and nodded. "Got it."
D'awwwwwww.
"It's my job. The only way I can honor him."
Isobe plays the pronoun game so we have to guess who "he is".
Ding.
Er, wait.
"Honor the hat," Isobe said. The words had a steel behind them that civilians rarely dared use toward ninja. "That's all I ask."
Okay, so he's talking about the Hokage obviously. But that's still an odd expression to use.
Hyūga's face suffused with anger, but one of the other clan heads jumped in before he could say anything. One of only two women at the table, she was medium height with spikey brown hair, a narrow face, and dressed in field uniform. "What do you think you're doing there, Jiraiya?" she demanded, pointing at the chair. "Where is the Hokage? And who are those people?" She pointed accusingly at Hazō and the others where they stood against the wall.
Oh, fuck no. ...Fuuuuuck. Hiruzen is dead, isn't he? Holy shit. Hooooly shit.
At least Jiraiya will be Hokage now? I think so, considering Isobe's remarks. Makes much more sense now.
"The force that I brought with me consisted primarily of ANBU agents. Ox." From the pack he produced a storage scroll with the character 'Ox' brushed on the outside and the two black stripes on the ends that marked a scroll containing a dead body. He set the scroll down and reached inside the pack again. "Bull." Another scroll. "Hawk." Another scroll. "Ocelot." Another. "Crane. Wolf. Cat. Bear. Mamba. Tiger. Panda." The names came faster, the scrolls laid down with more force. The faces of the clan heads had grown pale.
"And, finally...." Jiraiya stopped, taking a deep breath before pulling out one more scroll. He dropped his pack to the floor before laying the final scroll down with tender care. "Finally, Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Third Hokage."
"What?!" "No!" "That's imposs—"
Jiraiya punched a sparking ball of lightning straight through the conference table, sending splinters everywhere and shocking the clan heads into silence.
"I am pretty sure I said 'no interruptions.'"
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Also, that desk was totally not a face. Got off lucky, there.
...Wait, do the clan heads know who the ANBU are?
"Thank you," Jiraiya said, nodding to Nara and then to the other leaders. "It gets worse.
IT GETS WORSE
"It was at this point that we were attacked by a third group. They were all flying, most of them on what looked like dragons made of clay. They had the sun behind them, so we didn't see them coming until they were on top of us. They wore a uniform—black cloaks with red clouds—suggesting that they were an organized group and not a collection of individuals put together for this mission."
WHAT
WHAT
NO!
Fuck.
Okay. *breathes* So Leaf's most secure information channels are compromised. ...Or were they just there for Naruto too? Maybe still some hope.
...Also, Leaf did not know about Akatsuki at all. This is most troublesome.
"Whoever the man with Uchiha was, he gestured—no hand seals, just a wave—and one of Naruto's clones came flying into the air, right into this man's hands. Uchiha used what I presume was some sort of genjutsu, then stabbed the clone to pop it. All of Naruto's clones immediately popped and the actual Naruto fell to the ground screaming."
Almost looked over this. So this pretty much confirms that Shadow Clones work like they do in canon. A clone got Tsukuyomi'd, and when it popped the experiences went instantly to Naruto, thus causing his reaction and the clones to pop.
"Meanwhile, I was being attacked by a woman made of explosive tags and a puppet-user, both of whom I estimate to be S-rank like the others. These two kept me busy long enough that Itachi and his partner were able to scoop up Naruto and the two attacking Yagura were able to capture him. I wounded both of my opponents, but they retreated with their companions before I could finish them. I could have pursued using the skywalkers, but I knew I couldn't take on the entire group.
So Mist is a nonentity at the moment, but may or may not have knowledge of Skywalkers depending on if they had someone on the fringes who observed but didn't engage.
Akatsuki now know about Skywalkers, and might even have some if Naruto was equipped with them. Sure, they have the clay dragon thingies already from Deidara, but Skywalkers are definitely superior, still. We should consider them compromised.
...How much of the team's family is dead?
For the first time, Nara sat up in his chair, his gaze sharpening as he looked around the table "Make no mistake," he said. "We face an existential threat to Leaf. When—not if, when—word gets out that our Hokage and ANBU were slaughtered and our jinchūriki taken, Leaf will be the laughingstock of the Elemental Nations. Leaf is powerful, but the perception of our power was based in large part on the knowledge that we controlled the Nine Tails and that our leader was the God of Shinobi. Sarutobi was respected and feared throughout the Nations. He was both charismatic and wise; our favored trading status with River is based in large part on personal relationships that he built. With him gone there will be a great deal of uncertainty as people wait to see who the new regime will be and if we will have a smooth transition of power or if we will break down into petty squabbling." He shot pointed looks back and forth between Jiraiya and Hyūga; both men had the self-awareness to look away. Nara paused to make sure that he'd driven the point home, then continued.
And there goes Shikaku keeping shit together.
With the Council's sudden desire to be helpful it took just under nine minutes to grant citizenship and full pardons to a group of missing-nin, get the Hokage married, and form a clan.
Whelp, got what we wanted. Was it worth it?
..Fuck. Don't answer that.
"So, here's the deal. I need these messages delivered to agents in my network, and I need it done as fast as humanly possible. Try not to blow their cover, but I care more about speed than secrecy right now. At each stop pass off the message scroll to the senior agent on site and check if they have messages to add to the stack or if they need short-term muscle. You are not, I say again not, under their orders. You will make your own judgements about what jobs to assist with and what order to deliver messages in, although I want you to start off heading southwest towards River and then go clockwise around the EN.
"Minami, you have formal command. I will note that you are taking over what is already a skilled and tight-knit squad. They each have their specialties, and I strongly suggest you listen to them. In particular, Keiko's bloodline makes her an analytical genius on the order of the Nara. Factor that in when you're making plans. Hazō here is young and inexperienced but terrifyingly creative. Kagome is an expert at security systems and reducing things to a fine red mist. Noburi and Ishihara are both excellent diplomats, albeit in different ways, and I encourage you to make use of them in that role. In addition, Noburi's bloodline allows him to transfer chakra by way of the water in his barrel. Make use of that to increase the team's endurance.
"You can have two hours to gather your gear, read each other in on your abilities, and do whatever prep you need, but you will leave tonight. All the codes and recognition signs you'll need are in the packet." He turned to Akane. "Ishihara, your parents can be told that you're in the field for a few weeks. You are not to tell them anything else about this situation. Understood?"
"Yes, sir!"
"Good. Any questions?" He paused while the team looked back and forth uncertainly. "Okay, good. Get out of here."
Well, then. This will be interesting.
