Well, we've got 7 hours before we're committed to the plan. I'm pretty sure we don't have enough information to come to a solid conclusion on what Jiraiya's doing. That said, given what's happened, I give us a ~80% chance of surviving the next update with our current plan (the ~20% chance of death mostly comes from being confused about our situation, and the possibility we're in some sort of unwinnable scenario, or scenario where the winning move is to do something which seems dumb (like double down on threatening Kabuto or plead guilty)).
THE ONLY WINNING MOVE IS NOT TO PLAY.

HOW ABOUT A NICE GAME OF GLOBAL THERMONUCLEAR WAR?
 
In response to @Twofold and @Cariyaga's concerns:

[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Apologetic Plea
(you can add "needlessly wordy" to that, but that probably goes without saying.
And here I am, saying it. :p)

Edits in orange

Respond to Jiraiya's immediate question with:

"Sir, I am unfamiliar with the official pleas made in these proceedings, but I would like to explain that I am not guilty of making such threats.

"My words were ill-considered and rude, and I humbly apologize for them. But they did not convey any underlying ill intentions, because none exist. My poor wording was a result of passion clouding my speech; I did not intend to imply the possible use of force or other hostile actions against Dr Yakushi, nor against yourself or other Leaf personnel."

From there:
  • Express remorse for Hazou's poorly chosen words. Emphasize that they did not accurately convey his intentions, and certainly not those of his team.
  • Strongly emphasize that Hazou was NOT expressing a willingness or capability to harm Kabuto, Jiraiya, or Leaf in any way, and he is deeply sorry for making a statement so careless and so poorly-worded that it could be interpreted that way.
  • Express that Hazou was speaking in the heat of the moment, providing information about his emotional state more than anything else. He was mostly conveying that Akane's health was important to him and he thought it should be prioritized. This doesn't excuse his actions--they were still thoughtless, inappropriate, and rude. But it should help explain why he made statements that a rational actor should have avoided if he did not intend to threaten--he was not speaking very rationally in the moment.
  • In retrospect, he would say that in order to preserve Akane's well-being he was willing to take actions that might go to productive ends, including spending Konohan goodwill or favors on it - as he already had by taking the subject to Jiraiya and making J feel his time was being wasted
    • If asked, give an example or two of (nonthreatening) things Hazou would plausibly have done--spent more goodwill by bothering Jiraiya, spent favors, tried to convince Akane to convalesce elsewhere, gotten other medics to check up on her (which would be a potential win-win anyway, sparing Dr Yakushi some of his valuable time), etc.
  • But he would not have acted against Leaf or its personnel, as this would be a betrayal of the team's relationship with Leaf, as well as extremely unlikely to improve the situation for any party. Moreover, Leaf is closer to Hazou's ideal world than any nation, and it wouldn't sit well with him to betray such a village. In addition to the heat of the moment, Hazou did not immediately recognize the interpretation of his words as threats to Leaf personnel because he had never thought that course of action was anywhere near worth considering.
  • If Jiraiya asks for (or seems to expect) a formal plea, respectfully explain that Hazou believes he was not making a threat, and would therefore claim he is not guilty. But he's unfamiliar with these proceedings, so he doesn't know what plea would accurately reflect his position.
    • Not trying to weasel out of anything; just want to make sure any formal legal statement we make doesn't stick our foot in our mouths further, especially by making implications about the actions we're on trial for, or our views of them.
  • Answer and obey Jiraiya's questions and/or demands. Including submitting to a mind-scan should he ask for one.
    • If, to Hazou's or Mari's judgement, it looks like any of the team would end up dead, offer to be mindscanned in order to prove our intent.
General approach: Emphasize contrition, heat-of-the moment poor phrasing, loyalty to Jiraiya and Leaf, unwillingness to harm Leaf or its people (due to friendship, proven value of the relationship, ideological similarities, and Leaf's strength). Call Jiraiya "Sir" and "Jiraiya-sama" throughout, unless Hazou knows of a respectful mode of address that would be more appropriate. Use respectful body language (insofar as Hazou can use any body language while obeying the orders of the guard and not causing alarm).
 
Last edited:
In response to @Twofold and @Cariyaga's concerns:

[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Apologetic Plea
(you can add "needlessly wordy" to that, but that probably goes without saying. And here I am, saying it. :p)

Respond to Jiraiya's immediate question with:

"Not a threat, sir. My poor wording was a result of passion clouding my speech, and I did not intend to imply the possible use of force or other hostile actions against Dr Yakushi, nor against yourself or other Leaf personnel."

From there:
  • Express remorse for Hazou's poorly chosen words. Emphasize that they did not accurately convey his intentions, and certainly not those of his team.
  • Strongly emphasize that Hazou was NOT expressing a willingness or capability to harm Kabuto, Jiraiya, or Leaf in any way, and he is deeply sorry for making a statement so careless and so poorly-worded that it could be interpreted that way.
  • Express that in the context of the discussion (i.e. Jiraiya telling us to get lost and stop wasting his time), Hazou was speaking in the heat of the moment, providing information about his emotional state more than anything else--which was highly inappropriate and a poor use of Jiraiya's time. He was mostly conveying that Akane's health was important to him and he thought it should be prioritized. This doesn't excuse his actions--they were still thoughtless and rude--but it should help explain why he made statements that a rational actor should have avoided if he did not intend to threaten--he was not speaking very rationally in the moment.
  • In retrospect, he would say that in order to preserve Akane's well-being he was willing to take actions that might go to productive ends, including spending Konohan goodwill or favors on it - as he already had by taking the subject to Jiraiya and making J feel his time was being wasted
  • But not to act against Leaf and its personnel, as this would be a betrayal of the team's relationship with Leaf, as well as extremely unlikely to improve the situation for any party. In addition to the heat of the moment, Hazou had not considered the interpretation of his words as threats to Leaf personnel because he had not considered that course of action as either plausible or productive.
  • Answer and obey Jiraiya's questions and/or demands. Including submitting to a mind-scan should he ask for one.
    • If, to Hazou's or Mari's judgement, it looks like any of the team would end up dead offer to be mindscanned in order to prove our intent.

Would recommend that you start with "Not guilty" otherwise you never answer the question.
 
Would recommend that you start with "Not guilty" otherwise you never answer the question.

Hmm. I was intentionally avoiding it, but I'm not sure why. I think It just feels too assertive to me at a time when we need to be dogeza-ing hard. But on balance it's worth putting in, so sure. Thanks!

That would make finding them easier, I suppose.

Next character: Haru Tōkō, a civilian boy of 11 who never knew his parents. Strange things seem to happen around him, but he's sure it's nothing. At least, that's what he says around his aunt and uncle...
 
[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Hopefully More Tactful Plea

Edits in lavender.

Respond to Jiraiya's immediate question with:

"Not guilty. My suboptimal wording was a result of passion clouding my speech, and my statement was not intended to be a threat. I am deeply sorry for having worded that so poorly as to make it sound like a threat, on looking back."

From there:
  • Express remorse for Hazou's poorly chosen words. Emphasize that they were not reflective of the team.
    • He spoke out of passion and without thinking of the consequences and recognizes that. The team had no part in this.
  • Strongly emphasise that Hazou was NOT expressing a willingness or capability to harm Kabuto, Jiraiya, or Leaf in any way.
    • Start with that, from Jiraiya's point of view, it would seem as though we came to him with suspicions about Kabuto and asked us to check in, and when Jiraiya blew us off because lolno we responded with threats of violence. We should say what our actual plan was "tell Jiraiya about suspicions: if Jiraiya dismisses us Kabuto probably is doing his job and Akane is safe; if Jiraiya looks in on it Kabuto is probably working on his own and the increased scrutiny keeps Akane safe" but we overreacted. [snipped]
    • Continue that, even setting that aside, Hazou cares deeply for Akane and holds Leaf in high regard for our time spent here, and would not act to harm it. He has friends here, now, other than Akane, too, and he values his relationship with Jiraiya as well.
  • Express that in the context of the discussion (i.e. Jiraiya telling us to get lost and stop wasting his time) Hazou had not meant to convey threat. He did not think through it very much at all, but harming Kabuto-sensei was not anywhere among the possibilities he'd have gone for. The following, having given it some thought since he was in here, are things he may suggest he would have done. He uses his own judgement to determine which are appropriate to mention:
    • Hazou's time, energy, and personal happiness
    • Some of Jiraiya's goodwill towards Hazou
    • Hazou's own negligible political capital
    • Spoken with Ino, Shikamaru, or Chouji to see if they were willing to talk to their family (clans with influence) about it.
    • Tried to get an audience with someone else well-placed in the Konoha power structure; the Jounin Commander, even the hokage.
    • Hazou did not say this before because he was not given the chance to, and spoke without thinking.
  • Explain that Hazou had not considered the interpretation of his words to be threats to Leaf personnel because he had not considered that course of action at all. Leaf is the best chance this world has at peace, Hazou doesn't want to harm it.
  • Answer and obey Jiraiya's questions and/or demands. Including submitting to a mind-scan should he ask for one.
    • If, to Hazou's or Mari's judgement, it looks like any of the team would end up dead offer to be mindscanned in order to prove our intent.
 
Last edited:
Would recommend that you start with "Not guilty" otherwise you never answer the question.

Actually, it was confirmed by QMs that Hazou doesn't really know how ninja (or any other) legal disputes work.

"How do you plead?" Doesn't actually mean anything to Hazou. Forget about picking between guilty and not-guilty, he probably doesn't even know that those are his options or whether there are other pleads he could make in his current position.

In fact, we as participants don't know what are the correct plead options either. Maybe we should start with a disclaimer that we don't understand what this pleading thing is, and then go about explaining what happened from our point of view (like the plan does).

EDIT: Other sane thing to do would be to shut up and ask for a lawyer, but I doubt Hazou even knows what those are.
 
Last edited:
In response to @Twofold and @Cariyaga's concerns:

[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Apologetic Plea
(you can add "needlessly wordy" to that, but that probably goes without saying.
And here I am, saying it. :p)

Respond to Jiraiya's immediate question with:

"Not guilty, sir; it was not a threat. My poor wording was a result of passion clouding my speech, and I did not intend to imply the possible use of force or other hostile actions against Dr Yakushi, nor against yourself or other Leaf personnel."

(As best interpreted through Hazou's inner knowledge of ninja court protocol, if any.)

From there:
  • Express remorse for Hazou's poorly chosen words. Emphasize that they did not accurately convey his intentions, and certainly not those of his team.
  • Strongly emphasize that Hazou was NOT expressing a willingness or capability to harm Kabuto, Jiraiya, or Leaf in any way, and he is deeply sorry for making a statement so careless and so poorly-worded that it could be interpreted that way.
  • Express that in the context of the discussion (i.e. Jiraiya telling us to get lost and stop wasting his time), Hazou was speaking in the heat of the moment, providing information about his emotional state more than anything else--which was highly inappropriate and a poor use of Jiraiya's time. He was mostly conveying that Akane's health was important to him and he thought it should be prioritized. This doesn't excuse his actions--they were still thoughtless and rude--but it should help explain why he made statements that a rational actor should have avoided if he did not intend to threaten--he was not speaking very rationally in the moment.
  • In retrospect, he would say that in order to preserve Akane's well-being he was willing to take actions that might go to productive ends, including spending Konohan goodwill or favors on it - as he already had by taking the subject to Jiraiya and making J feel his time was being wasted
  • But not to act against Leaf and its personnel, as this would be a betrayal of the team's relationship with Leaf, as well as extremely unlikely to improve the situation for any party. In addition to the heat of the moment, Hazou had not considered the interpretation of his words as threats to Leaf personnel because he had not considered that course of action as either plausible or productive.
  • Answer and obey Jiraiya's questions and/or demands. Including submitting to a mind-scan should he ask for one.
    • If, to Hazou's or Mari's judgement, it looks like any of the team would end up dead offer to be mindscanned in order to prove our intent.
I didn't actually see this before I posted mine, my apologies.
[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Apologetic Plea
 
In response to @Twofold and @Cariyaga's concerns:

[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Apologetic Plea
(you can add "needlessly wordy" to that, but that probably goes without saying.
And here I am, saying it. :p)

Respond to Jiraiya's immediate question with:

"Not guilty, sir; it was not a threat. My poor wording was a result of passion clouding my speech, and I did not intend to imply the possible use of force or other hostile actions against Dr Yakushi, nor against yourself or other Leaf personnel."

(As best interpreted through Hazou's inner knowledge of ninja court protocol, if any.)

From there:
  • Express remorse for Hazou's poorly chosen words. Emphasize that they did not accurately convey his intentions, and certainly not those of his team.
  • Strongly emphasize that Hazou was NOT expressing a willingness or capability to harm Kabuto, Jiraiya, or Leaf in any way, and he is deeply sorry for making a statement so careless and so poorly-worded that it could be interpreted that way.
  • Express that in the context of the discussion (i.e. Jiraiya telling us to get lost and stop wasting his time), Hazou was speaking in the heat of the moment, providing information about his emotional state more than anything else--which was highly inappropriate and a poor use of Jiraiya's time. He was mostly conveying that Akane's health was important to him and he thought it should be prioritized. This doesn't excuse his actions--they were still thoughtless and rude--but it should help explain why he made statements that a rational actor should have avoided if he did not intend to threaten--he was not speaking very rationally in the moment.
  • In retrospect, he would say that in order to preserve Akane's well-being he was willing to take actions that might go to productive ends, including spending Konohan goodwill or favors on it - as he already had by taking the subject to Jiraiya and making J feel his time was being wasted
  • But not to act against Leaf and its personnel, as this would be a betrayal of the team's relationship with Leaf, as well as extremely unlikely to improve the situation for any party. In addition to the heat of the moment, Hazou had not considered the interpretation of his words as threats to Leaf personnel because he had not considered that course of action as either plausible or productive.
  • Answer and obey Jiraiya's questions and/or demands. Including submitting to a mind-scan should he ask for one.
    • If, to Hazou's or Mari's judgement, it looks like any of the team would end up dead offer to be mindscanned in order to prove our intent.
Nonono offer the mindscan regardless. Be up front to the tune of "you can literally dig through my head, see". Being stingy is going to get us murdered in the short term.
 
I'm a little past the time I ought to be providing meaningful feedback, so all I'll say is both these plans look approximately fine, and I'll let other people sort out which of the plans ought to pass.

[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Apologetic Plea
[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Hopefully More Tactful Plea

EDIT: Other sane thing to do would be to shut up and ask for a lawyer, but I doubt Hazou even knows what those are.
Pretty sure Leaf doesn't have things like rights to lawyers. Probably not lawyers. Also pretty sure we don't have any rights according to their legal system.
 
[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Hopefully More Tactful Plea

[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Apologetic Plea

@schlega, might be worth editing some of these changes into your plan, since it's likely to win at this point.

Also,
  • Hazou's time, energy, and personal happiness
  • Some of Jiraiya's goodwill towards Hazou
  • Hazou's own negligible political capital
  • Hazou did not say this before because he was not given the chance to.
Hazou had meant to convey was that in order to preserve Akane's well-being he is willing to sacrifice
  • Hazou's time, energy, and personal happiness
  • Some of Jiraiya's goodwill towards Hazou
  • Hazou's own negligible political capital
@Twofold has a point: these do ring hollow. The fact is that neither we nor Hazou had any idea what he was going to do to protect Akane, beyond talking to Jiraya, and these sound like he's making something up after the fact. I wonder if he should justl honestly say that he actually had no idea what he was going to do, but directly attacking anyone in Konoha would have been out of the question, for the simple reason that it would be highly counterproductive.

As a possible improvement, perhaps we could have him speculate as to what he might have done. It's OK if it's unrealistic or ineffectual; might even be better if it's ineffectual. Some examples:
  • Talk with Ino about the situation, hoping that perhaps she'll take it her father, who is (IIRC, head of Intelligence).
  • Try to make an appointment with the Hokage. Camp out in front of his office if necessary.
Actually, it was confirmed by QMs that Hazou doesn't really know how ninja (or any other) legal disputes work. "How do you plead?" Doesn't actually mean anything to Hazou.
OK, if that's the case, Guilty/Not Guilty is a bad start. I had actually suggested earlier to ask what the choices are, but nobody took that up.
 
Last edited:
when Jiraiya appeared to dismiss us without expressing the slightest sign of "I give half a shit".

I think this should just be cut; line can end at "but we overreacted". Inoue told us J not caring was a possibility, and to go "oh well, at least we got some info and maybe planted the seed of doubt in his head". It happened, and we...did not do that.

We have friends here, now, other than Akane: Lee, Gai, Shikamaru, Tenten, Neji (okay, maybe more of a hateship than a friendship), Ino, Chouji, Asuma... they're important to us, too.

This is Ninja World, Jiraiya is our Ninja Boss. he wants our loyalty to him to stem from a) holding loyalty as a virtue, b) personal loyalty / positive incentives, and c) negative incentives. Not wanting to go against Leaf because of our relationship with J has to be up there, and it has to be way above these recent friendships. I'd say you can cut back the friendships without losing a lot. I like your mention of Leaf as a hope for peace/utopia much more; that's a good way to give evidence that threatening Leaf goes against Hazou's nature and goals. And it brings up the utopian ideals J seems to think are worthwhile.

I didn't actually see this before I posted mine, my apologies.
[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Apologetic Plea

No worries. This way we get to see each other's thoughts laid out.

[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Hopefully More Tactful Plea

What are your thoughts on the whole pleading thing? I didn't realize Hazou just straight-up didn't know about it. I'm not sure how to ask about it without being super awkward, though. Maybe at the end, after we've already made our statement explaining how we're not guilty?


Edit:
@Pahan, have you seen my plan? I agree with your thoughts on the "things H could have done to go far for Akane" bit, and rewrote that part of the plan to say it was more about emotions than specific ideas of things to do.
 
Last edited:
Pretty sure Leaf doesn't have things like rights to lawyers. Probably not lawyers. Also pretty sure we don't have any rights according to their legal system.

You are probably right about that.

That being said, there are probably rules and conventions how to go about things in our current situation, and Hazou has no idea what those are.

I suppose asking for a lawyer in this context would mean that we ask Jiraya to tell us what is going on here and what are our options. I wonder how he would react to that?
 
[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Apologetic Plea
[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Hopefully More Tactful Plea
[-] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Irresponsible Plea
 
What are your thoughts on the whole pleading thing? I didn't realize Hazou just straight-up didn't know about it. I'm not sure how to ask about it without being super awkward, though. Maybe at the end, after we've already made our statement explaining how we're not guilty?

But then again, Hazou got into this mess by saying the wrong thing at the wrong place. He is currently in the very wrong place and has no idea what the right thing to say in this context is. His attempt to make sure that he is not repeating the same general mistake by asking for clarification might be seen as a good thing by J?

Or alternatively it is taken as a sign that Hazou can't be relied on to understand even the basics of social situations. Which is true, but we might not want to advertise that now since it might lead to us getting killed off as a liability.
 
Gosh, all this speculation and nobody's figured out Jiraiya's TRUE intentions. Consider the following:
  1. Jiraiya is a master sealcrafter, and presumably makes a point of researching unusual and unique seals and techniques.
    1. Jiraiya has recently received a captured sealcrafter wielding Edo Tensei.
  2. In the original canon, the Pure Land (the afterlife) could have souls return to the world via Edo Tensei, losing their memories in the process.
    1. Said souls appeared to have some personal belongings with them, mainly clothing.
  3. In a now-noncanon update, Hazo's mind was scanned.
    1. At that time, one idea in Hazo's mind was a storage seal that could retrieve or store the contained object from multiple seals.
  4. Recent events have been strange, prompting some to think we are currently in a genjutsu.
    1. We have not had an opportunity to attempt a dispel.
  5. In order to function, seals require an infusion of chakra. That chakra is then manipulated to produce the intended result.
  6. In our current situation, it would be very easy for Jiraiya to have us killed.
Given 2 and 5, we can conclude point 7: chakra must be operational in the Pure Land (otherwise Edo Tensei would fail).

Given 1.1, we can conclude point 8: Jiraiya has obtained or will obtain Edo Tensei.

Given 1 and 8, we can conclude point 9: Jiraiya likely intends to investigate the nature of life and death.

Given 1, 3, and 4, evidence increases the likelihood of point 10: The "noncanon" update was, in fact, fully canon. Jiraiya had us taken captive and collectively placed under genjutsu, in which all future updates took place.

From these, a narrative starts to form. Jiraiya intends to investigate the nature of the afterlife. To that end, he prepares to have us killed, and keeps us pliant in genjutsu until the time comes. Beforehand, he designs and implements the Shared Storage Seal, creating a linked pair. One of the pair, he keeps; the other, he gives to the genjutsu'd Hazo. Once he kills us, he will store a message in the Shared Storage Seal, which we will be able to open and respond with in the Pure Land. In this way, a method of communication and transport between worlds forms.

However, we must not forget the Efficient Ninja Hypothesis. If this were viable, surely it would have been attempted before. And, in fact, it has. The Pure Land has, by now, millenia's worth of competent chakra wielders, many of whom brought sealing supplies and other equipment to the afterlife. More than enough time has passed for their society to diverge from the mortal realm's. "Chakra" is now known as "reiatsu", or spirit energy. All combat is performed via specialized blades, elaborate seals carved into them to match them to their owners. In the afterlife, there are no Hidden Villages. Absent the geographic separation, there is only one system of governance: the 13 Divisions, each led by the strongest of ninja. A special form of the Shared Storage Seal, in the form of linked doors conjured on demand, will soon allow for easy travel from the afterlife to the mortal realm.

In short, we've been duped. This quest was a Bleach crossover the whole time, and we never even noticed.

This has been your scheduled jokepost. Now, on to voting.

[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Apologetic Plea
[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Hopefully More Tactful Plea
 
[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Apologetic Plea
[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Hopefully More Tactful Plea
[-] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Irresponsible Plea

Fine :cry:

Gosh, all this speculation and nobody's figured out Jiraiya's TRUE intentions. Consider the following:
  1. Jiraiya is a master sealcrafter, and presumably makes a point of researching unusual and unique seals and techniques.
    1. Jiraiya has recently received a captured sealcrafter wielding Edo Tensei.
  2. In the original canon, the Pure Land (the afterlife) could have souls return to the world via Edo Tensei, losing their memories in the process.
    1. Said souls appeared to have some personal belongings with them, mainly clothing.
  3. In a now-noncanon update, Hazo's mind was scanned.
    1. At that time, one idea in Hazo's mind was a storage seal that could retrieve or store the contained object from multiple seals.
  4. Recent events have been strange, prompting some to think we are currently in a genjutsu.
    1. We have not had an opportunity to attempt a dispel.
  5. In order to function, seals require an infusion of chakra. That chakra is then manipulated to produce the intended result.
  6. In our current situation, it would be very easy for Jiraiya to have us killed.
Given 2 and 5, we can conclude point 7: chakra must be operational in the Pure Land (otherwise Edo Tensei would fail).

Given 1.1, we can conclude point 8: Jiraiya has obtained or will obtain Edo Tensei.

Given 1 and 8, we can conclude point 9: Jiraiya likely intends to investigate the nature of life and death.

Given 1, 3, and 4, evidence increases the likelihood of point 10: The "noncanon" update was, in fact, fully canon. Jiraiya had us taken captive and collectively placed under genjutsu, in which all future updates took place.

From these, a narrative starts to form. Jiraiya intends to investigate the nature of the afterlife. To that end, he prepares to have us killed, and keeps us pliant in genjutsu until the time comes. Beforehand, he designs and implements the Shared Storage Seal, creating a linked pair. One of the pair, he keeps; the other, he gives to the genjutsu'd Hazo. Once he kills us, he will store a message in the Shared Storage Seal, which we will be able to open and respond with in the Pure Land. In this way, a method of communication and transport between worlds forms.

However, we must not forget the Efficient Ninja Hypothesis. If this were viable, surely it would have been attempted before. And, in fact, it has. The Pure Land has, by now, millenia's worth of competent chakra wielders, many of whom brought sealing supplies and other equipment to the afterlife. More than enough time has passed for their society to diverge from the mortal realm's. "Chakra" is now known as "reiatsu", or spirit energy. All combat is performed via specialized blades, elaborate seals carved into them to match them to their owners. In the afterlife, there are no Hidden Villages. Absent the geographic separation, there is only one system of governance: the 13 Divisions, each led by the strongest of ninja. A special form of the Shared Storage Seal, in the form of linked doors conjured on demand, will soon allow for easy travel from the afterlife to the mortal realm.

In short, we've been duped. This quest was a Bleach crossover the whole time, and we never even noticed.

This has been your scheduled jokepost. Now, on to voting.

[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Apologetic Plea
[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Hopefully More Tactful Plea
Jiraiya is actually Aizen. And Danzo. Who knew?
 
[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Hopefully More Tactful Plea

Edits in lavender.

Respond to Jiraiya's immediate question with:

"Not guilty. My suboptimal wording was a result of passion clouding my speech, and my statement was not intended to be a threat. I am deeply sorry for having worded that so poorly as to make it sound like a threat, on looking back."

From there:
  • Express remorse for Hazou's poorly chosen words. Emphasize that they were not reflective of the team.
    • He spoke out of passion and without thinking of the consequences and recognizes that. The team had no part in this.
  • Strongly emphasise that Hazou was NOT expressing a willingness or capability to harm Kabuto, Jiraiya, or Leaf in any way.
    • Start with that, from Jiraiya's point of view, it would seem as though we came to him with suspicions about Kabuto and asked us to check in, and when Jiraiya blew us off because lolno we responded with threats of violence. We should say what our actual plan was "tell Jiraiya about suspicions: if Jiraiya dismisses us Kabuto probably is doing his job and Akane is safe; if Jiraiya looks in on it Kabuto is probably working on his own and the increased scrutiny keeps Akane safe" but we overreacted. [snipped]
    • Continue that, even setting that aside, Hazou cares deeply for Akane and holds Leaf in high regard for our time spent here, and would not act to harm it. He has friends here, now, other than Akane, too, and he values his relationship with Jiraiya as well.
  • Express that in the context of the discussion (i.e. Jiraiya telling us to get lost and stop wasting his time) Hazou had not meant to convey threat. He did not think through it very much at all, but harming Kabuto-sensei was not anywhere among the possibilities he'd have gone for. The following, having given it some thought since he was in here, are things he might have done:
    • Hazou's time, energy, and personal happiness
    • Some of Jiraiya's goodwill towards Hazou
    • Hazou's own negligible political capital
    • Spoken with Ino, Shikamaru, or Chouji to see if they were willing to talk to their family (clans with influence) about it.
    • Tried to get an audience with someone else well-placed in the Konoha power structure; the Jounin Commander, even the hokage.
    • Hazou did not say this before because he was not given the chance to, and spoke without thinking.
  • Explain that Hazou had not considered the interpretation of his words to be threats to Leaf personnel because he had not considered that course of action at all. Leaf is the best chance this world has at peace, Hazou doesn't want to harm it.
  • Answer and obey Jiraiya's questions and/or demands. Including submitting to a mind-scan should he ask for one.
    • If, to Hazou's or Mari's judgement, it looks like any of the team would end up dead offer to be mindscanned in order to prove our intent.

Adjusted the plan. I welcome phrasing to ask after ways in which we can plead.
 
Gosh, all this speculation and nobody's figured out Jiraiya's TRUE intentions. Consider the following:
  1. Jiraiya is a master sealcrafter, and presumably makes a point of researching unusual and unique seals and techniques.
    1. Jiraiya has recently received a captured sealcrafter wielding Edo Tensei.
  2. In the original canon, the Pure Land (the afterlife) could have souls return to the world via Edo Tensei, losing their memories in the process.
    1. Said souls appeared to have some personal belongings with them, mainly clothing.
  3. In a now-noncanon update, Hazo's mind was scanned.
    1. At that time, one idea in Hazo's mind was a storage seal that could retrieve or store the contained object from multiple seals.
  4. Recent events have been strange, prompting some to think we are currently in a genjutsu.
    1. We have not had an opportunity to attempt a dispel.
  5. In order to function, seals require an infusion of chakra. That chakra is then manipulated to produce the intended result.
  6. In our current situation, it would be very easy for Jiraiya to have us killed.
Given 2 and 5, we can conclude point 7: chakra must be operational in the Pure Land (otherwise Edo Tensei would fail).

Given 1.1, we can conclude point 8: Jiraiya has obtained or will obtain Edo Tensei.

Given 1 and 8, we can conclude point 9: Jiraiya likely intends to investigate the nature of life and death.

Given 1, 3, and 4, evidence increases the likelihood of point 10: The "noncanon" update was, in fact, fully canon. Jiraiya had us taken captive and collectively placed under genjutsu, in which all future updates took place.

From these, a narrative starts to form. Jiraiya intends to investigate the nature of the afterlife. To that end, he prepares to have us killed, and keeps us pliant in genjutsu until the time comes. Beforehand, he designs and implements the Shared Storage Seal, creating a linked pair. One of the pair, he keeps; the other, he gives to the genjutsu'd Hazo. Once he kills us, he will store a message in the Shared Storage Seal, which we will be able to open and respond with in the Pure Land. In this way, a method of communication and transport between worlds forms.

However, we must not forget the Efficient Ninja Hypothesis. If this were viable, surely it would have been attempted before. And, in fact, it has. The Pure Land has, by now, millenia's worth of competent chakra wielders, many of whom brought sealing supplies and other equipment to the afterlife. More than enough time has passed for their society to diverge from the mortal realm's. "Chakra" is now known as "reiatsu", or spirit energy. All combat is performed via specialized blades, elaborate seals carved into them to match them to their owners. In the afterlife, there are no Hidden Villages. Absent the geographic separation, there is only one system of governance: the 13 Divisions, each led by the strongest of ninja. A special form of the Shared Storage Seal, in the form of linked doors conjured on demand, will soon allow for easy travel from the afterlife to the mortal realm.

In short, we've been duped. This quest was a Bleach crossover the whole time, and we never even noticed.

This has been your scheduled jokepost. Now, on to voting.

[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Apologetic Plea
[X] Action Plan: An Impassioned and Hopefully More Tactful Plea
Stop giving away that we have access to the QM design docs!!!!
 
Or alternatively it is taken as a sign that Hazou can't be relied on to understand even the basics of social situations. Which is true, but we might not want to advertise that now since it might lead to us getting killed off as a liability.
I don't buy that. Jiraya has interacted with us on numerous occasions and in a variety of settings. Given his massive investment in social skills of all kinds, he probably knows our personality (if not goals and exact values) better than we know ourselves. For him to do a 180 like this based on one incident in which nobody actually got hurt makes no sense.
 
Back
Top