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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
- Location
- Yes.
[X] Action Plan: Schrodinger's Treason Dragon
SC for Kagome. We were talking about it even before the treason came up.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I guess I mentally catalogued this as "we're just gonna teach him the minute we leave because treason mwahahaha" but I suppose it's better for him to have it sooner... I'll toss it in
oh and not to mention if we don't defect we definitely will want to have asked that in advance 🗿
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- Pronouns
- He/Him
AMI: But which one...
HAZOU: ...is which?
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
[X] Action Plan: Schrodinger's Treason Dragon
I'd like a bit more specification that we'd have to stay in Leaf for a good while in either case, long enough to finish teaching Orochimaru lithosealing at minimum. There's also something to be said about the relative risk/reward of doing any research now (even just lithosealing) even if we do choose to go missing under the concern that Akatsuki will show up and rifle through all our notes again. (That is to say, should we put all our research on pause, or keep doing lithosealing now and only do necromancy once/if we leave, or start rift research as soon as we can and hope Itachi doesn't show up before we bug out.)
Lastly, I feel Naruto might have some concerns about "And if I become your clan head but you don't decide to go missing?" Naruto's tied to the Goketsu in perepetuity anyways, but we shouldn't leave unspoken the potential future of "Hazou becomes Naruto's subordinate within the clan, is this acceptable?" (and indeed, if we don't act like that's important then we may as well be telling him that we intend to defect)
Remember, Naruto chose Leaf's stance specifically to minimize liability for Leaf. Hazou cannot have a plan, he can't be intending to interfere with Akatsuki's necromancy in any respect, because Naruto can't allow that kind of risk while Hazou is a Leaf agent. Hazou can work against the Akatsuki's plans, or he can be a Leaf-nin, but Naruto has explicitly said that he cannot do both. If we stay, Necromancy arc is over, and we can only pray that in the future we may see it return as Necromancy Shippuden.
I'd like a bit more specification that we'd have to stay in Leaf for a good while in either case, long enough to finish teaching Orochimaru lithosealing at minimum. There's also something to be said about the relative risk/reward of doing any research now (even just lithosealing) even if we do choose to go missing under the concern that Akatsuki will show up and rifle through all our notes again. (That is to say, should we put all our research on pause, or keep doing lithosealing now and only do necromancy once/if we leave, or start rift research as soon as we can and hope Itachi doesn't show up before we bug out.)
Lastly, I feel Naruto might have some concerns about "And if I become your clan head but you don't decide to go missing?" Naruto's tied to the Goketsu in perepetuity anyways, but we shouldn't leave unspoken the potential future of "Hazou becomes Naruto's subordinate within the clan, is this acceptable?" (and indeed, if we don't act like that's important then we may as well be telling him that we intend to defect)
I'm kinda under the impression that we just drop out of the game indefinitely. Not permanently, the chance always remains that new opportunities could arise, but indefinitely in the sense that all plans are suspended and we are no longer concerning ourselves with it. In all likelihood, this means either Akatsuki wins or Orochimaru wins and we have no say in the outcome.
Remember, Naruto chose Leaf's stance specifically to minimize liability for Leaf. Hazou cannot have a plan, he can't be intending to interfere with Akatsuki's necromancy in any respect, because Naruto can't allow that kind of risk while Hazou is a Leaf agent. Hazou can work against the Akatsuki's plans, or he can be a Leaf-nin, but Naruto has explicitly said that he cannot do both. If we stay, Necromancy arc is over, and we can only pray that in the future we may see it return as Necromancy Shippuden.
redzonejoe
Vaguely Pastafarian
- Location
- Canada
Ok, this is an extreme stretch here based on nothing... but what if that is related?
Kei has had difficulty with with physical intimacy since (???) with no clear cause, and her sexuality is... maybe not strictly lesbian, but definitely trending away from heterosexuality. Shikamaru is effectively Asexual. Could whatever fragments of mind, or perhaps the unknown limits imposed on them, have somehow foreseen this marriage and put these safeguards in place from birth to reduce or remove the likelihood of reproduction?
Like I said, one hell of a stretch, but if your goal is to prevent any of the 5 from coming together and you have esoteric reality shaping powers... Reducing or changing the sexuality of a select handful of people throughout the relevant timeline is probably less intrusive than a lot of alternatives. It's absolutely batshit insane, but that's pretty much the level you have to be on to theorycraft anything about this situation so I can't discard it out of hand.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Changes from IV and faf's sugestions
I'm going to bed but I'll try to keep track of any further suggestions when I get up
- Location
- Yes.
Quick ping for when you wake up: Kagome being overlooked should be very much emphasized; nobody seems to recognize him as a critical contributor to rift research.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
saw the notification already so done 🗿
- Location
- Europa, Jupiter Orbit
It's called "using protection".
Humor aside, as a general reminder to lurkers or whatnot- they're socially obliged to produce an heir and both of them have shown that they intend to do so at some indefinite point in the future, so this would actually be a problem.
redzonejoe
Vaguely Pastafarian
- Location
- Canada
This may be a joke. Responding as if it isn't. Sorry for lack of humor.
Using protection isn't gonna cut it. Ignoring that they'd rather not do it in the first place, and thus no protection would be necessary... their marriage comes with the obligation of procreation. Clans heirs and bloodlines and all that. If you tell them they cannot procreate with each other, then at least in the case of Shikamaru, he is obligated to find a new wife who will have his children. Staying married and intentionally childless isn't an option.
I mean, it is, in the same sense that spilling clan secrets in bed with that hot lady who is definitely not a seduction specialist is an option. That is to say, very irresponsible and the family will be somewhere between disappointed and homicidally livid.
The two are currently handling this obligation by pretending it doesn't exist and/or is a problem for some future version of themselves to deal with, assuming they actually manage to live that long and projects such as necromancy don't change the world landscape to such a degree as to make the obligation unnecessary.
Bruh I was like 5 seconds away from posting this D;
[X] Action Plan: Schrodinger's Treason Dragon
Also @eaglejarl @Velorien @Paperclipped, minor retcon unless you want to change things but in 619.5 Hazo says:
If this chapter is supposed to keep continuity then Hazou should've known what the Tenfold Abomination is, unless for some reason Noburi kept that part of the conversation out.
He wouldn't do that...would he?
Also @eaglejarl @Velorien @Paperclipped, minor retcon unless you want to change things but in 619.5 Hazo says:
If this chapter is supposed to keep continuity then Hazou should've known what the Tenfold Abomination is, unless for some reason Noburi kept that part of the conversation out.
He wouldn't do that...would he?
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- Location
- Fifth Dimension
It's likely to fail because the time period and startup needed to FOOM, not to mention the chakra cost and the fact that Leaf needs to still do missions to sustain itself.
The problems is more S-rankers that likely don't agree with Hazou and Uplift and thus more obstacles in the way with even more to come. We possibly turn 7 essies to 70 (or more), if it works as intended.
And it has the problem of Leaf supremacy and we've seen Leaf purposely burn down civilian villages and genocide other ninja villages in a short amount of time. That is not ideal.
- Location
- how about no
FOOM's effectiveness would only work in the long term if the rift race lasted longer than at least 2 years as a guestimate. Leaf having FOOM would be a contingency, but it would give us some form of win con eventually outside of sneaky necromancy, closing the rift, or runic deus ex machina.
Kei and Shikamaru can figure out logistics for FOOM allocation and which personnel get access to it.
Yes, we would have to talk to people and win them over to the ideals of Uplift instead of dictating terms to them. Uplift enforced at the end of a kunai would still be a form of tyranny.
Asuma is dead and his warcrimes can be buried with him. Hopefully with AMITY's peace in place Naruto can institute a no scorch squad policy for Leaf that persists through the next war. At least by interacting with other ninjas as equals we can start exposing them to Uplift on an equal footing and showing its benefits through actions such as the fact we shared FOOM with them and by doing so it made all of us collectively stronger. Uplift needs to be proven through high stakes cooperation if it is to outlive Hazou as an ideology.
- Location
- Fifth Dimension
...We can do that now with Akatsuki. It's clearly not working, why would it work with 10x the people?
Shikamaru isn't and he also went for the genocide so...
- Location
- how about no
I'd like Hazou to stay in Leaf until he is healed at a bare minimum. From there I would prefer if Hazou begins basic rune research for the express purpose of defeating the Dragons as the Dragons are still an existential threat and for such threats there is no such thing as overkill. At the conclusion of the Dragon fight victory Hazou and Kagome can fake reverse summoning accidents near the Great Seal like so:
If it works Hazou and Kagome begin their new lives as rift researchers living for the most part in Dog territory and only returning to the Human path when it is time for them to do infusions.
If it doesn't then Hazou proceeds to act erratic and upset with Naruto's decision and eventually goes missing with Kagome to hang out in Dog and basically do the same thing. The key difference is that if we fake our deaths well enough Akatsuki has no recourse to bother our clan as they truly believe Hazou and Kagome are dead. If anyone would know how to convincingly fake a catastrophic sealing interaction death it would be Kagome after all.
From there we try our hardest to figure out rift seals or runes; whatever works best for our purposes. At that point it depends on our research results for where we go from there. We may find a better solution to stop Akatsuki from accessing the rift without implicating Leaf or us or maybe we figure out a defensive rune that enables us to keep Akatsuki away from the rift as we move it into an impenetrable defensive position? It is too soon to tell now.
Since we do not have Noburi with us as he would most likely be useless near the Great Seal, we could offer FOOM to Leaf for (hopefully equivalent) shinies as well as to have a back up plan for the rift race lasting longer than 2 years (as a guestimate). If Leaf can use FOOM to not only take on Akatsuki but also an AMITY coalition we can secure the rift at our leisure. We do not need to make a decision to give FOOM to Leaf this update however.
[X] Action Plan: Schrodinger's Treason Dragon
It's probably been noted before, but the whole "everything about the sage is so mysterious and unknown" kind of sounds like Grue action to me.
In either case, I think "delay going missing in a way that makes even Naruto unsure if we're going to do it" is the correct path forward for now.
It's probably been noted before, but the whole "everything about the sage is so mysterious and unknown" kind of sounds like Grue action to me.
In either case, I think "delay going missing in a way that makes even Naruto unsure if we're going to do it" is the correct path forward for now.
- Location
- how about no
Added:
- Feed all of the known spies of the other Hidden Villages intel that Akatsuki used their authority to try to arrest the former Hokage and, failing that, they murdered him and used one of the assailants deaths as a pretense to steal village secrets from every clan in Leaf and more!
- We could use this as a way to cause Akatsuki more headaches aboard so they cannot spend as much time checking in on Leaf and Hazou.
Also added asking for SC for Kagome as well as including him in the faking his own death idea.
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- Location
- United States
@eaglejarl given what Hazōpilot knew about the Tenfold Abomination from both this and Kumo, could we spend a FP of tweak his response to Itachi when he asked about it?
A lot of us would probably be interested in leveraging our knowledge in the subject to get more pieces from Itachi. After all, the more we already know, the less people forbid the lore!
A lot of us would probably be interested in leveraging our knowledge in the subject to get more pieces from Itachi. After all, the more we already know, the less people forbid the lore!