- Location
- U.S.
Wait. In that quote, is Jiraiya casually infusing blanks that he didn't draw? Presumably if he drew them he'd just infuse them immediately.
That's... impressive. And a little terrifying.
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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
That's... impressive. And a little terrifying.
Hazou drew them, yeah.
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Hazou can do it because Iron Nerve Shennanigans. Jiraiya... maybe it was a slip in Opsec, and something Jiraiya was able to do, due to being a Sannin (who are the S-rankers among S-rankers)?
Or maybe it was an accidental glitch in the narrative, and the Grue is getting hungry?
Or maybe it was an accidental glitch in the narrative, and the Grue is getting hungry?
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Hazou's bloodline lets him copy the styles of other sealmasters. That means he can draw Jiraiya blanks and Kagome blanks for them to infuse. Without the IN there is no known way to do this safely
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Whoops, I thought Kagome had made the seals, for whatever reason...
Zampano
🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
- Location
- Simping for DSB
i thought we weren't allowed to do paper sealing on the 7th path for the same reason that Noburi was told not to drain any 7th path chakra - Hazo doesn't have Sage mode yet so any use of ambient chakra would give him Nature Poisoning. Jiraya has Sage Mode so he can operate on the 7th path as normal.
- Location
- Pacific standard
[X] Action plan: Loose ends
Words: 278
Commit to leaving.
Discuss with Naruto any jutsu or tower seals a counterfactual treasonous Hazō may have stolen. Bonus points if they're political rivals.
Ask respectfully for the Rasengan as an example effect to base seals off.
Set a date and time to trade with Oro, 'coincidentally' near the hospital and some Naruto clones.
Offer to teach him the earth infusion stunt, in exchange for
1. Releasing a mentally and physically whole Kurosawa Ren to our custody
2. Creating and teaching us an Earth Infusion substrate creation jutsu
3. S-Rank barrier jutsus or seals of elements lightning, earth, and fire elements that allow for visual genjutsu to pass through it.
4. Useful medical jutsu. Buffs, combat techs/paralyzing touch, MedNin that makes training more useful on your muscles (bonus to Athletics per day or something), etc etc.
5. A treatise on paper ninjutsu
6. Pull a prank on Tsunade
7. Immortality, both the method Orochimaru uses, and one he thinks Hazō would pick for himself if Hazō had full information.
8. Begin researching a cure for wandering wits.
9. Teach Hazō Technique Hacking
10. To obtain peaceful coexistence with another immortal, Orochimaru will limit his research methodologies to those that do not affect free will. Deal with anesthetic.
11. He guarantees the safety of Gōketsu assets and people within Leaf for a period of 10 years
Pitch going missing to Kagome, Noburi, Yuno, Kei, and Mari when the following conditions are met
1. Hazō has the TH stunt
2. Hazō's severe is healed
3. Hazō knows the substrate creation jutsu
In the mean time, do seal research following Hazō's intuition on Jiraiya's Substitution Seals.
Words: 278
Commit to leaving.
Discuss with Naruto any jutsu or tower seals a counterfactual treasonous Hazō may have stolen. Bonus points if they're political rivals.
Ask respectfully for the Rasengan as an example effect to base seals off.
Set a date and time to trade with Oro, 'coincidentally' near the hospital and some Naruto clones.
Offer to teach him the earth infusion stunt, in exchange for
1. Releasing a mentally and physically whole Kurosawa Ren to our custody
2. Creating and teaching us an Earth Infusion substrate creation jutsu
3. S-Rank barrier jutsus or seals of elements lightning, earth, and fire elements that allow for visual genjutsu to pass through it.
4. Useful medical jutsu. Buffs, combat techs/paralyzing touch, MedNin that makes training more useful on your muscles (bonus to Athletics per day or something), etc etc.
5. A treatise on paper ninjutsu
6. Pull a prank on Tsunade
7. Immortality, both the method Orochimaru uses, and one he thinks Hazō would pick for himself if Hazō had full information.
8. Begin researching a cure for wandering wits.
9. Teach Hazō Technique Hacking
10. To obtain peaceful coexistence with another immortal, Orochimaru will limit his research methodologies to those that do not affect free will. Deal with anesthetic.
11. He guarantees the safety of Gōketsu assets and people within Leaf for a period of 10 years
Pitch going missing to Kagome, Noburi, Yuno, Kei, and Mari when the following conditions are met
1. Hazō has the TH stunt
2. Hazō's severe is healed
3. Hazō knows the substrate creation jutsu
In the mean time, do seal research following Hazō's intuition on Jiraiya's Substitution Seals.
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- Location
- how about no
Plan A would be to only use ES on the Great Seal in order to fix it.
Plan B would depend on how easy it is to reverse summon runes. If Hazou can make a Great Seal Rune patch on the human path and move it to the Great Seal's position, great. If not we would need to get Spider-waifu's permission to do infusing in the 7th path and maybe even on the Great Seal (or where the Great Seal was if it breaks beyond repair) as a last resort contingency. A better outcome would be all of the crusader clan bosses simply killing all of the Dragons so we do not have to worry about the Great Seal itself, but I'd feel more prepared if we cover as many contingencies as possible.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Missing a unit here.
- Location
- Pacific standard
That was supposed to be years, but now I want to see Orochimaru ranting about people not carrying units through their work and how ehe expected more from us
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
If we're leaving Leaf, and we want to go missing as a bigger group than just Hazou and Kagome, I'm coming around to the idea of just taking the whole Team Uplift, Mari included. It opens up some fascinating options as far the plays we'd be able to do in Leaf go; the amount of shinies we'd be able to extract prior to leaving.
Because if we're taking the whole team, if we're assuming that there'd be nobody left behind centrally associated with us whom people would target for our "betrayal", if we stop planning about the Gouketsu Clan having a politically influential future... Then we can just use the Gouketsu Clan up. All of its stored resources and connections.
There's obviously the matter of civilians and adoptees left behind, the harm to whom we'd ideally want to minimize. So here's what I'm thinking: we give the Nara the secret of Earthshaping, plus a few tons of freshly-extracted gold/gems and our plans for liquidating all that, plus whatever jutsu/seals we're willing to spare. In exchange, they take care of the people we leave behind in perpetuity; immediately re-adopt them into the Nara or something (e. g., we can buy that many adoption tickets beforehand and just hand them to the Nara as part of the resources we'd be handing over).
Note that doesn't have to be a premediated Gouketsu/Nara conspiracy. If we're looping Kei in, she can just figure out what deal Shikamaru would accept, then set up a dead man's switch that'd fire the moment we leave, automatically offering this deal to Shikamaru.
If something like this can work?
Well, in that case, that unties our hands in the now.
But if we're taking all of our toys and leaving, we can borrow from the future of the Gouketsu Clan like crazy in exchange for getting shinies in the now, and then slip the noose of the consequences, and ensure that every other person that counts as part of the Gouketsu is evacuated from the ground zero as well. Moments later, all of these accumulated debts will hit the Gouketsu Clan and utterly obliterate it, but it'd be just a hollow legal entity, with no warm bodies inside it.
Obviously that's going to have quite negative consequences on the matter of tolerance towards the foreigners and missing-nin. But if we're planning to take more than just Hazou and Kagome, that's going to happen regardless. The marginal impact of doing this on top of going missing would be minimal.
So we may as well go all-in.
Because if we're taking the whole team, if we're assuming that there'd be nobody left behind centrally associated with us whom people would target for our "betrayal", if we stop planning about the Gouketsu Clan having a politically influential future... Then we can just use the Gouketsu Clan up. All of its stored resources and connections.
There's obviously the matter of civilians and adoptees left behind, the harm to whom we'd ideally want to minimize. So here's what I'm thinking: we give the Nara the secret of Earthshaping, plus a few tons of freshly-extracted gold/gems and our plans for liquidating all that, plus whatever jutsu/seals we're willing to spare. In exchange, they take care of the people we leave behind in perpetuity; immediately re-adopt them into the Nara or something (e. g., we can buy that many adoption tickets beforehand and just hand them to the Nara as part of the resources we'd be handing over).
Note that doesn't have to be a premediated Gouketsu/Nara conspiracy. If we're looping Kei in, she can just figure out what deal Shikamaru would accept, then set up a dead man's switch that'd fire the moment we leave, automatically offering this deal to Shikamaru.
If something like this can work?
Well, in that case, that unties our hands in the now.
- We can strike ruinous-to-the-Gouketsu deals with people whom we don't mind betraying, in exchange for shinies or lore. (E. g., the Hagoromo.)
- We can subtly ruin our reputation in places where that won't come out too quickly, in exchange for getting some wins that ultimately cash out in more lore/shinies. Aggressive, underhanded negotiating, spying, etc.
- We can call in whatever informal debts/favours we have; spend all of our accumulated social currency until we're bankrupt. (Without, in this case, hurting our trade partners.)
- We can push to explore a few high-risk high-reward negotiating opportunities (like asking Sasuke to trade jutsu). Deals on which we don't intend to renege, but where offering the deal itself may have costs.
- We can flirt with some outright treason, like reaching out to foreign villages with promises of betraying Leaf secrets to them – in the way where what we stake on it isn't upfront payment of Leaf secrets, but giving them the ability to hurt the Gouketsu-as-an-organization. (Some foreign organization would probably bite.)
- Et cetera. @ me your ideas.
But if we're taking all of our toys and leaving, we can borrow from the future of the Gouketsu Clan like crazy in exchange for getting shinies in the now, and then slip the noose of the consequences, and ensure that every other person that counts as part of the Gouketsu is evacuated from the ground zero as well. Moments later, all of these accumulated debts will hit the Gouketsu Clan and utterly obliterate it, but it'd be just a hollow legal entity, with no warm bodies inside it.
Obviously that's going to have quite negative consequences on the matter of tolerance towards the foreigners and missing-nin. But if we're planning to take more than just Hazou and Kagome, that's going to happen regardless. The marginal impact of doing this on top of going missing would be minimal.
So we may as well go all-in.
This is a very long list. You think we can get all of it?
Do we have any hazopilot estimate for how long until Oro figures it out on his own? I'd guess any trade deal that requires more time of Oro than Oro expects it to take to figure it out on his own is an instant no.
- Location
- Pacific standard
Yes, I do. Or, we should ask for at least this much. Our largest mistake when dealing with Oro has continued to be being meek. We're already batshit insane with how we interact with him, but it's still not quite speaking the right language.
We *should* ask for more than we expect to get with the initial offer. That's just haggling.
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- Pronouns
- He/Him
I agree with the sentiment for the most part but:
- I don't want to completely fuck over people like Gaku and the other clan nin when we leave.
- honestly I'm skeptical how much we can fully extract with just money or (non-classified resource). Getting any kind of goodie out of anyone has consistently proven to be like pulling teeth. People disdain working with each other for the most part.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
My understanding of the current plans is that no one is going to know we are going missing until we pop the question and then we GTFO of the village immediately / we are taking a bunch of folks on a mission as a pretext and popping the question mid-mission.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Hmm, I lean towards the former especially for Kei but yeah.
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
I think we should tell Mari. She's going to start to suspect something from Hazou's demeanour regardless, and I don't think she's going to leak anything. In the meantime, she can help us optimize arranging it the best (she has experience, ha), plus... I'm kind of skeptical that without her, we can convince the others to go missing without them assuming we've been lupchanzed/having an Out relapse, because it is insane without the knowledge that Naruto likely isn't going to send his best against us. Mari can wield her expert opinion to reassure them on this matter, without actually telling them Naruto approved this.
Other than Mari, nobody needs to know until a few hours beforehand, and nobody except Mari and Kei need to know until we've already left. We can use some other pretext for why we're suddenly trying to accumulate all these resources, and I'd already described how the Nara don't need to be made aware in advance.
If we're hardcore committed to not telling anyone else until we leave... I dunno, one of our Summoners can pre-arrange to meet with one of the Summoners in Leaf and pass them the timed message intended for the Nara, with the Kei-optimized trade offer in it (which she'll help us generate mid-mission if she agrees)?
We are going to fuck over them; that's an inextricable part of what we're doing. Making them no-longer-Gouketsu is probably the best we can do for them, really.
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Hazou can cast jutsu just fine on the 7thP, and he still regenerates chakra. So I don't think this is it
I think it has more to do with the Path itself being less robust, so Sealing failures are more dangerous there.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
iff Naruto takes over as clan head I disagree. If he doesn't then yeah it's debatable but I can see where you're coming from.
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
To be honest, this whole dilemma is kind of perversely validating for the mindset I've had towards this setting all along. Because, yeah, that's what happens when you spend time on good-feeling humanitarian projects when there are people running around trying to reach for godlike power and immanentize the eschaton. You end up facing the choice between throwing everything to the side and trying to out-race them, or powerlessly watching on as they convert you and everything you care about into their preferred flavour of paperclips.
Which isn't to say we should've done zero humanitarian projects. But I think we've focused on this stuff too much, instead of on winning the game the others were playing. And now we're staring down the barrel of the consequences.
Which isn't to say we should've done zero humanitarian projects. But I think we've focused on this stuff too much, instead of on winning the game the others were playing. And now we're staring down the barrel of the consequences.
TBH, I don't really see why Naruto would want to sabotage his political position so. He's already going to be negatively impacted when we go missing. If he visibly and costly signals that he's made buddy with us beforehand? His Hokageship is going to be hilariously shaky.
Way too long a list of demands. Oro will just Aurablast us into giving him everything then spare our lives if he's in a good mood and kill us if not. You don't haggle with S-rank murderous sociopaths that can just forcefully take everything you offer in 5 minutes tops and then kill you in broad daylight.
Keep it to four requests AND say that we have four requests in exchange before we start asking, so that he knows its not an endless list, I think.
Also its just generally too much for something he'll figure out in a few months to a year. If I had to pick 4 points on that list, I would ask for :
- Kurosawa Ren, whole of body and mind, because its a light ask, also a good thing to do.
- An Earth Infusion substrate creation technique because we will need it to work on Lithosealing if we go missing
- An S-rank Barrier Seal with complete Sealing notes for us to research
- That he guarantee the safety of Leaf and the Gouketsu Clan for 1 year. Its a big ask already vs the entire Akatsuki, Oro seems to care about his words somehwat, and by that time we'll either have died or succeeded anyway.
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- Pronouns
- He/Him
IMO this is the wrong framing - Hazou is seemingly an agent of chaos Naruto would hope to quell. What better way to do that than kick his legs out from under him by pulling Jiraiya's will on him and removing him as a clan head to take his place? Gives Hazou WAY less influence to buck his Hokage-hood and makes any of Hazou's potential minions forced to answer to him instead, with no "clan secret" shield because now he is also their Clan head on top of their kage. Hazou, having been told off by Naruto already, and then on top of that losing his political prestige, is then perfectly primed to just go missing and accomplish his goals somewhere else.