- Pronouns
- He/Him
no, active effects do not copy to your clones
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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
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- how about no
I thought so too until I read this:
(underlines added)
So I guess we need to wait for QM clarification?
I am very confused by all of this quote the more I read it.
I agree that runes have more potential and that it is hard to quantify what difference 8 levels of sealing would make for rift research.
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- Book Fort
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- They/Them
Naruto was trained by jonin and S-rankers all of his life. With (seemingly) infinite chakra, Leaf has all the incentive in the world to give him The Good Shit.
And that's not counting his heritage as Son of Minato, and the Last Heir of Uzushiogakure (by way of Kushina, by way of Mito), and Hashirama's grandkid (Hashirama married Mito).
While we might have a (very) nifty jutsu in the form of PEA, I would also suspect that Naruto has an equivalent jutsu.
And that's not counting his heritage as Son of Minato, and the Last Heir of Uzushiogakure (by way of Kushina, by way of Mito), and Hashirama's grandkid (Hashirama married Mito).
While we might have a (very) nifty jutsu in the form of PEA, I would also suspect that Naruto has an equivalent jutsu.
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- He/Him
Don't think so, Kei already agreed with Hazou when WW4 broke out that the pangolin armor jutsus would be excellent for Naruto but that it would not be practical to teach him - and as a fellow KEI coordinator with him, I think she would be reasonably sure about that
Nah, no need. When they directly contradict things that have happened in the story - in this case RS0 got a full cycle of research on-screen. You can just assume they're mistaken.
Unless a seal literally called "Rift Seal" isn't a dimensionalism seal I guess.
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- UK
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Shadow clones don't copy ninjutsu effects. Other than the user themselves, they only copy equipment, and that imperfectly (notably, shadow seals don't have actual chakra channels and are just pretty paper).
Then was then, now is now. Leaf kinda needs more power right now.
Perhaps we could give the technique to a TH spec to alter such that it wont be recognizable, like to produce a foxlike mantle instead of pangolin scales? Naruto isnt exactly fighting often and jinchuriki bulkshit is well known. We should have done that with Asuma.
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I think leaf also needed "more power" during WW4.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
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- United States
I'm pretty sure that he will obviously have a clone sitting in the Uzumaki spot at clan council occasionally making arguments against him, as Hokage.
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- UK
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"Well, I didn't vote for him!"
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- Yes.
[X] Remain in Leaf so we can watch the hijinks happen
redzonejoe
Vaguely Pastafarian
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- Canada
Hey! I made this joke first!
Mind you it was in the middle of an angry rant so I can't blame anybody but myself for it not registering.
I'm just glad we can all agree that this is definitely something that Naruto will absolutely do.
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I think the Pangolins warned us about altering the jutsu in anyway, which is why we avoided it. But after what happened to Asuma, I think we should do it.
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This is genius.
I'm imaging Ritsuo looking back and forth between the two, trying to decide who to side with and trying to hedge his arguments.
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I don't think anyone is advocating leaving right now tbf... plenty of time to see this
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- USA
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You, my friend, are brilliant. That needs to happen.
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- The Soviet Republic of Canuckistan
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[X] Interlude: please just give us the Toad lore
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- USA
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- He/Him
Author's Note: This is the second half of the long-gone Chapter 506: Talking with the Boss, Part 1 of Part 1. I don't want to have "Chapter 506...Part 2" here in the 600s but I haven't decided what to do with it yet. I might go back and edit it into that chapter, or fiddle the order in the threadmarks, or maybe something else. None of the options seem especially appealing for various reasons, so I'll figure it out later.
You really should re-read the earlier part before reading this, since it starts in media res.
(EDIT: This was merged into chapter 506 and can be skipped if you have read that chapter recently.)
The Toad Sages did eventually tire themselves out and return, grumbling, to their seats.
"If you don't mind me saying so, you two are incredible fighters," Noburi said. "The only human I ever saw who was even close to that level was Maito Gai, and he was widely known as probably the greatest taijutsu master alive."
Both of the centuries-old demigods preened like the worst stereotypes of teenage girls with a new mirror.
"Thank you, boy," Fukasaku said, puffing on his pipe. "We sparred with little Gai a few times. Had some good moves, that one."
"He was nothing compared to our Jirry," Shima said stoutly. "Took us years to teach that boy the Toad Style katas, but once he learned them there was no one on your Path who could beat him when he was trying."
Noburi forebore to say anything about how maybe the reason that no one could beat Jiraiya in taijutsu 'when he was trying' was because Jiraiya didn't actually fight with taijutsu when he was trying—no one who wielded the Rasengan could be considered a taijutsu fighter. You weren't primarily a taijutsu fighter if simply touching your opponent was enough to turn them into itty-bitty chunks.
"I've never been a taijutsu guy myself," Noburi said, trying to sound regretful. "That's Hazō's gig and I'm sure he'd be over the moon if you ever wanted to share any tips or advice with him, or just tell him stories about Jiraiya and how you trained him. He really looked up to Jiraiya. For myself, I've focused on my ninjutsu much more." He made a throwing away gesture with one hand. "Still, that's a little off-track. You guys were telling me about the Sage and his band?"
"We were?" Fukasaku asked.
Shima thwapped Fukasaku atop his tuft of white hair. "Don't be obnoxious, you old goat! You know you can't wait to show off for the boy, so don't tease him on top of it!"
Fukasaku glared at her as he rubbed his head. "Fine, fine," he grumbled. "What about him did you want to know, boy?"
"Anything you're willing to tell, sir. What was his name, who were his friends, did he really create chakra...?"
"Create chakra!" Shima laughed. "Ha! That would be like creating weight, or light!"
"I create light every time I light my pipe," Fukasaku said. "Don't show off your ignorance!"
"That's not what I meant, old goat! I meant creating all light! The very idea of light!"
"But it's not what you said! Ha!"
"Hmph." Shima pushed her chair back and stood up, striding out of the room and into the kitchen. She was back moments later with a plate in either hand, half of a fist-sized treacle tart on each plate. She slid one in front of Noburi and set the other down at her own place. "I was going to cut this in thirds, but rude people don't get dessert."
"Hey!"
"I can split this and you can have—" Noburi froze halfway through offering part of his dessert. Shima's glare promised that his entire being would be reduced to its component elements should he dare to finish the sentence.
"That's not fair!" Fukasaku said. "You can't possibly be this petty!"
"Hmph." Shima delicately lifted the gooey dessert to her lips and took a small bite. "Oh, my. That came out very well. Mm."
"Give me th—" Fukasaku was reaching for Noburi's dessert as he spoke, but he cut himself off and yanked his hand back as Shima's wooden spoon slashed down where his fingers would have been, striking so hard that it cracked the table.
"Don't you dare disrespect a guest and shame our roof!" the toad matron snapped.
"He's our Summoner! It's his duty to—"
"It's not his duty to give you his dessert! If you want dessert then you need to be nice to me!"
"I am nice to you!"
"You think snotting off to me in front of the boy is nice?!"
Noburi coughed into his fist, then focused very closely on his dessert. Both toads stopped their spat to look at him. He "didn't notice" for a few seconds, then looked up in "surprise".
"Yes, sir? Ma'am?"
Fukasaku eyed him sourly for several long seconds while Noburi maintained a completely innocent expression. Finally, the Toad Sage turned to his wife.
"I'm sorry I was snotty," he grunted, his voce extremely sotto.
"Excuse me, what was that?" Shima said, placing a hand to her earhole. "I couldn't hear you."
Noburi coughed into his fist again, once more focusing on his dessert. Once more, the Toad Sages glared at him. Eventually, Shima sighed and turned to her husband.
"I made two tarts," she said. "There's a half on the counter in the kitchen if you want one."
His fuzzy caterpillar eyebrows shot up. He opened his mouth to say something but broke off when Noburi cleared his throat, then took a nibble of the tart and sighed in pleasure, eyes drifting closed as he sampled.
"You've got a real mouth on you, boy," Fukasaku said.
"Sir?" Noburi asked in pretended surprise. "I was just thinking what a delicious tart this is. Well, and how thoughtful Shima was to make something so delicious to share with us, and how nice of her to leave a slice out for everyone. I hope Yuno and I are so happy together when we've been together for as long as you have." He ducked his head in realization. "Well, proportionally as long as you have."
Shima simpered and Fukasaku glowered.
"Oh, very well," Fukasaku said. "The boy's right, I guess. Thank you for making this, Ma. I'm sorry I was snotty."
She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, my dear old goat. Go get your slice. Oh, and there's milk in the icebox if you want some."
"Ooh! Excellent!" The Toad Sage vanished in a blur of speed and was back an instant later, his hair trailing after him in the wind of his passage. He was carrying three glasses in his left hand, a pitcher of milk in his right, and had a plate with his tart fixed to his shoulder via chakra adhesion. He proceeded to distribute the glasses and pour them full.
"Pretty ballsy of you, playing marriage counselor," Fukasaku grunted at Noburi.
"Sir? I have no idea what you mean."
Both toads grunted a laugh.
"You had some questions, boy?" Shima asked.
"About the Sage, yes. Anything you know about him, I'd be very interested. Especially about his use of chakra."
The sages exchanged glances and Fukasaku gave his wife a 'go ahead' tilt of the head.
"He didn't invent it," she said. "Chakra has always been there, just like heat or light. It comes in different flavors the same way food does, and it strengthens us the same way too. It's made from life and dances through everything that lives. It swirls and flows like water. It is made of many parts, just like life. What you humans consider chakra is just a tiny fraction of one flavor of chakra. Us Toads, we use far more of it—that's why we call it 'nature chakra', because we use all the flavors. Chakra has motion, currents, and feelings like the sea does." She smiled, nostalgia on her face. "Pa took me sailing on the ocean for our two hundredth anniversary. Just a little boat and the two of us under the stars." She basked in the memory for a moment, then shook it away.
"He didn't invent chakra but he was the first human to master it," she continued. "He worked out how to speak to it—not in words, of course. It's not intelligent." She paused. "Well, not exactly. It's more like..." She thought, then gave up. "It's not exactly intelligent the way you think of intelligence, but it's not mindless like a stone either. It's complicated.
"Anyway, after he learned how to use chakra he shared the knowledge with some of his closest friends. We don't have names for all of them but we know of seven: Dhruv, Avra, Nara, Mori, Yodomi, Raiyoke, and Tama. Very little is known of Dhruv and Avra because they only stayed with the Sage for two years and then they left. Avra went east to lands unknown while Dhruv went west. There's a bunch of different theories on why they left." She gestured to Fukasaku with a 'your turn' nod.
"One idea is that the Sage and Avra—she was the only girl in the group—dated for a while, or maybe she was his wife, and then they split," the old toad said. "Personally, I think it's unlikely. There's only one source for that theory and he was a known fraud about other things."
"I tend to go with Gamashisōka's view," Shima said. "The Sage and his band wanted to save the world. Avra and Dhruv went to map the way, learn about who else was out there, while the others stayed local to where they had been born and focused on coming up with a workable methodology in an environment that they were familiar with."
Fukasaku opened his mouth to snap something, then caught himself. Shima sighed.
"Go ahead," she said.
"There's another theory," Fukasaku said, touching his wife's webbed hand for a brief moment before turning fully back to Noburi. "The Sage and his friends were gathering an army to fight the Tenfold Abomination. Dhruv and Avra were sent away in case the others lost. They were to gather their own forces elsewhere to serve as a second and third chance if the main team fell, try to create secure fallback points for any of the survivors."
"You once mentioned that the Sage created the Seventh Path and all the species," Noburi said, nodding to Shima. "Was that part of his after-war planning? Maybe as a secure bolthole."
Both Sages shook their heads. "She was making a joke," Fukasaku said. "There's plenty of people on this Path who believe it was created by the Sage, or whatever title they call him by since no one knows his actual name. They're all wrong. The Sage wasn't actually a god and he didn't have the power to create entire universes."
"He created the demiverses," Shima corrected. "The ones that the humans use for their storage scrolls."
"He created the method for creating them, he didn't create all of them himself! Besides, that's not a universe."
"How is it not? It's got space, it's got—"
"It's got no time! How can you have a universe that exists for no time at all? You can't!"
"I thought he wasn't a sealmaster?" Noburi asked, trying to head off another violent 'debate' that could endanger the local ecology.
"We don't know for sure," Shima said. "Still, he was clearly the idea man for his team."
"I get that," Noburi said, nodding. "Hazō likes to say that he invented skywalkers because he had the idea, even though it was actually Kagome who did all the work."
"Hey, don't talk down your brother," Fukasaku said, glowering. "Nothing comes into existence until the idea does. Anyone can do the work of creating something once the hard part of inventing it has happened."
"Hah! You just say that because you don't want to share author credit with your researchers!"
"What we know for sure is the Sage and his friends created the Summoning contracts that allowed travel between worlds," Fukasaku said, visibly ignoring his wife's accusation. "Whether that was intended as an emergency evacuation method or something else, we don't know. And yes, Pa's right that the Sage and his friends gathered an army to fight the Tenfold Abomination. It's not clear if that happened before he decided to end war or after, and it's not clear whether he gave humans chakra so they could fight in the war or after he saw the wreckage of the so-called 'victory.'"
"He didn't give chakra to humans," Fukasaku said.
She rolled massive eyes. "Fine. The Sage had the idea and taught his friends how to use it, but Avra was the one who actually did the work of modifying people."
"It wasn't—" Fukasaku broke off and took a breath. "The medic wasn't Avra, Ma. You know that story is apocryphal! You just like it because you want the girl to be the important one, but the timelines don't match up—the Great Melding clearly happened after the Abomination was defeated, by which time she was long gone!"
Shima sniffed. "She came back, you dingus! It clearly says—"
"Sorry, you keep mentioning the Tenfold Abomination," Noburi interrupted quickly. "What exactly was it? Something like a Tailed Beast?"
"Psh," Shima said as Fukasaku snorted in disgust. "Tailed Beasts. I think not! Those are just the remnants of it after the Sage and his friends ripped it apart."
"Ripped it apart? Remnants?" Noburi echoed, eyes wide. He contemplated what it would mean for the most powerful entities of his world to be mere fragments of something.
"Sure," Fukasaku said. "The Tenfold Abomination was an External. Came from the chaos that is outside the cosmos. There's lots of those things and they keep trying to wiggle into our cosmos. Probably because it's a lot nicer here—"
"Or maybe because we only know about the ones that try to get in?" Shima said archly. "There could be gazillions of the things that are perfectly happily baking their own crazy bread out of the color green and sculpting statues out of childhood night terrors or whatever, and we only hear about the handful that want to smash through the walls of our cozy little home."
"Yes, yes, fine, whatever. Anyway, the thing got in somehow and it was destroying everything. They're poison. Everywhere they go, reality breaks and melts down into slag."
"Are the Dragons Externals?" Noburi asked. "I've seen what their scales do—they poison and dissolve anything they come in contact with."
Shima shrugged. "Maybe?"
"Of course they aren't!" Fukasaku snapped. "Those things are just horrible monsters. They dissolve things, sure, but they don't affect actual reality. Maybe they burn the skin off your hand but afterwards your skin isn't Tuesday."
"You aren't seriously going with that nonsense tablet from Karatoa, are you?" Shima demanded. "He was a drunk and a drug user, and you know it! The whole thing was nonsense, soup to nuts. Of course they are Externals. They're the ones that the Sage bound first. It said so in Volume 3 of Nakae's Annals!"
"That section is an insert by his brother! You can tell by the word choices."
"It is not! That's a dirty lie put out by Gamabobo! He was always trying to tear down Gamaatamai, and discrediting her sources was just part of that."
"Pardon," Noburi said. "You were talking about the Tenfold Abomination?"
"Oh, right," Shima said. "The Sage and his friends defeated it. It's an External, so you can't kill it and imprisoning it is problematic. Instead, they tore it apart. Its body became the Tailed Beasts. Its mind was broken into fragments, carefully divided so that no one chunk could accomplish anything on its own."
"By 'accomplish anything', she means 'go reunite with the other shards and reform the Abomination'," Fukasaku added helpfully.
"I was getting to that! Stop interrupting, you obnoxious old fart!" She looked back to Noburi. "Yes, that. The fragments aren't bound—they're just chunks of a mind, you can't tie ropes around a mind. They could go reunite with the rest of the fragments anytime they wanted and there's no way to prevent that."
"Obviously there's some way!" Fukasaku said. "You can tell on account of reality is still here."
"Fine," Shima said. "Whatever, be difficult. The Sage and his friends didn't want the fragments escaping, and they wanted to make sure that no single individual knew all the details. None of them talked to anyone or wrote down what their method was."
Noburi swallowed nervously. "That sounds very dangerous. In our family we make a point of working together, and we always come up with better ideas as a result. If only one person thinks something up, they're liable to miss something. Besides, most defenses need to be maintained; if no one knows how to do that..."
"Yup," Fukasaku said, an inappropriate amount of relish in his tone. "Reality lives balanced on a knife edge. Any day now, one of the fragments might get out of its prison and reunite with one of its others, then they would all reunite to reclaim and recombine the fragments of their body. A few hours or days later, pop!" He slammed his palm onto the table with an echoing slap. "Reality bursts like a bubble and we're all swept into nonspace to suffer in unending agony forever!" He took a big bite of his tart. "Oh, this is good, Ma! You really outdid yourself."
"It's the cinnamon," she said. "Really gives it that warmth that brings the whole thing together."
Fukasaku's massive tongue explored around his lips thoughtfully, licking up every last trace of the treacle. "Mm, mm! Really good. Is that cloves I taste? Have I told you that you're a genius in the kitchen?"
Shima glowed. "Thank you, dear."
"Um, about the fragments," Noburi said hesitantly. "Nara, Mori, the others...those are clans on the Human Path. They're all descended from one of the Sage's companions?"
"Of course," Shima said.
Noburi thought about that. "How did chakra get given to everyone then?"
"It was a recruiting method," Fukasaku said. "Join the army of the Sage to help save reality, get superpowers."
"Only at first," Shima corrected. "After the battle they tried to give it to everyone in order to balance out power. The theory was that if everyone had power, and at least part of everyone's power lay in understanding each other, there wouldn't be violence or war anymore." She shook her head. "Didn't work, unfortunately. Not everyone was able to accept the gift—or maybe the word is 'willing', it's unclear."
"Or maybe they just didn't get to it before the medic died and they forgot to write down how to do it, just like they forgot to write down so much else, including who they were!" Fukasaku said.
"That could be," Shima agreed. "Of course, it wouldn't have worked anyway. No sooner did you humans get chakra then you started using it to kill each other."
"Yeah, you humans are so violent," Fukasaku said with what Noburi felt was a shocking lack of self-awareness given how he and his wife interacted. "Sure, the chakra that got handed out before the war was all battle-themed, but everything after that was intended to promote harmony. Empathic connection, healing, sharing of minds based on skin contact, awareness of and oneness with the cosmos, that kind of thing. Took about that long"—he snapped his fingers—"before you started using it to crush each other's minds, carve up people's innards, tear secrets out of each others' brains, all that. Bah."
"It might not be completely their fault," Shima said to her husband. "When the Abomination's mind was torn apart and the Sage gathered it into the various fragments, it's quite likely that some tiny scraps were missed. Escaped into the environment and bonded to human bloodlines."
"You're saying that some humans have an External's...dreams, or whatever, corrupting their minds?"
Shima sniffed. "It's a theory."
"It's her theory," Fukasaku said, rolling his eyes. "She's been trying to prove it for sixty years."
"And I'm getting close! You saw what was in those Crow tablets!"
"Ha! Those chicken scratchings are purely bogus! Absolute nonsense! It's not pipeweed that they put in their pipes, if you know what I mean!"
"They are not! Karatoa was a very diligent scholar!"
"Diligent my very manly bottom! He was a lush! In fact, you said that yourself not five minutes ago when I talked about the Dragons!"
The conversation devolved from there until Noburi finally gave up, offered his thanks for the meal and conversation, and escaped to the relatively insanity of the Gōketsu estate. He couldn't help thinking that things were bad when the Gōketsu estate was the sane place.
XP AWARD: 1
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Vote time! What to do now?
Voting ends on Wednesday, .
You really should re-read the earlier part before reading this, since it starts in media res.
(EDIT: This was merged into chapter 506 and can be skipped if you have read that chapter recently.)
The Toad Sages did eventually tire themselves out and return, grumbling, to their seats.
"If you don't mind me saying so, you two are incredible fighters," Noburi said. "The only human I ever saw who was even close to that level was Maito Gai, and he was widely known as probably the greatest taijutsu master alive."
Both of the centuries-old demigods preened like the worst stereotypes of teenage girls with a new mirror.
"Thank you, boy," Fukasaku said, puffing on his pipe. "We sparred with little Gai a few times. Had some good moves, that one."
"He was nothing compared to our Jirry," Shima said stoutly. "Took us years to teach that boy the Toad Style katas, but once he learned them there was no one on your Path who could beat him when he was trying."
Noburi forebore to say anything about how maybe the reason that no one could beat Jiraiya in taijutsu 'when he was trying' was because Jiraiya didn't actually fight with taijutsu when he was trying—no one who wielded the Rasengan could be considered a taijutsu fighter. You weren't primarily a taijutsu fighter if simply touching your opponent was enough to turn them into itty-bitty chunks.
"I've never been a taijutsu guy myself," Noburi said, trying to sound regretful. "That's Hazō's gig and I'm sure he'd be over the moon if you ever wanted to share any tips or advice with him, or just tell him stories about Jiraiya and how you trained him. He really looked up to Jiraiya. For myself, I've focused on my ninjutsu much more." He made a throwing away gesture with one hand. "Still, that's a little off-track. You guys were telling me about the Sage and his band?"
"We were?" Fukasaku asked.
Shima thwapped Fukasaku atop his tuft of white hair. "Don't be obnoxious, you old goat! You know you can't wait to show off for the boy, so don't tease him on top of it!"
Fukasaku glared at her as he rubbed his head. "Fine, fine," he grumbled. "What about him did you want to know, boy?"
"Anything you're willing to tell, sir. What was his name, who were his friends, did he really create chakra...?"
"Create chakra!" Shima laughed. "Ha! That would be like creating weight, or light!"
"I create light every time I light my pipe," Fukasaku said. "Don't show off your ignorance!"
"That's not what I meant, old goat! I meant creating all light! The very idea of light!"
"But it's not what you said! Ha!"
"Hmph." Shima pushed her chair back and stood up, striding out of the room and into the kitchen. She was back moments later with a plate in either hand, half of a fist-sized treacle tart on each plate. She slid one in front of Noburi and set the other down at her own place. "I was going to cut this in thirds, but rude people don't get dessert."
"Hey!"
"I can split this and you can have—" Noburi froze halfway through offering part of his dessert. Shima's glare promised that his entire being would be reduced to its component elements should he dare to finish the sentence.
"That's not fair!" Fukasaku said. "You can't possibly be this petty!"
"Hmph." Shima delicately lifted the gooey dessert to her lips and took a small bite. "Oh, my. That came out very well. Mm."
"Give me th—" Fukasaku was reaching for Noburi's dessert as he spoke, but he cut himself off and yanked his hand back as Shima's wooden spoon slashed down where his fingers would have been, striking so hard that it cracked the table.
"Don't you dare disrespect a guest and shame our roof!" the toad matron snapped.
"He's our Summoner! It's his duty to—"
"It's not his duty to give you his dessert! If you want dessert then you need to be nice to me!"
"I am nice to you!"
"You think snotting off to me in front of the boy is nice?!"
Noburi coughed into his fist, then focused very closely on his dessert. Both toads stopped their spat to look at him. He "didn't notice" for a few seconds, then looked up in "surprise".
"Yes, sir? Ma'am?"
Fukasaku eyed him sourly for several long seconds while Noburi maintained a completely innocent expression. Finally, the Toad Sage turned to his wife.
"I'm sorry I was snotty," he grunted, his voce extremely sotto.
"Excuse me, what was that?" Shima said, placing a hand to her earhole. "I couldn't hear you."
Noburi coughed into his fist again, once more focusing on his dessert. Once more, the Toad Sages glared at him. Eventually, Shima sighed and turned to her husband.
"I made two tarts," she said. "There's a half on the counter in the kitchen if you want one."
His fuzzy caterpillar eyebrows shot up. He opened his mouth to say something but broke off when Noburi cleared his throat, then took a nibble of the tart and sighed in pleasure, eyes drifting closed as he sampled.
"You've got a real mouth on you, boy," Fukasaku said.
"Sir?" Noburi asked in pretended surprise. "I was just thinking what a delicious tart this is. Well, and how thoughtful Shima was to make something so delicious to share with us, and how nice of her to leave a slice out for everyone. I hope Yuno and I are so happy together when we've been together for as long as you have." He ducked his head in realization. "Well, proportionally as long as you have."
Shima simpered and Fukasaku glowered.
"Oh, very well," Fukasaku said. "The boy's right, I guess. Thank you for making this, Ma. I'm sorry I was snotty."
She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, my dear old goat. Go get your slice. Oh, and there's milk in the icebox if you want some."
"Ooh! Excellent!" The Toad Sage vanished in a blur of speed and was back an instant later, his hair trailing after him in the wind of his passage. He was carrying three glasses in his left hand, a pitcher of milk in his right, and had a plate with his tart fixed to his shoulder via chakra adhesion. He proceeded to distribute the glasses and pour them full.
"Pretty ballsy of you, playing marriage counselor," Fukasaku grunted at Noburi.
"Sir? I have no idea what you mean."
Both toads grunted a laugh.
"You had some questions, boy?" Shima asked.
"About the Sage, yes. Anything you know about him, I'd be very interested. Especially about his use of chakra."
The sages exchanged glances and Fukasaku gave his wife a 'go ahead' tilt of the head.
"He didn't invent it," she said. "Chakra has always been there, just like heat or light. It comes in different flavors the same way food does, and it strengthens us the same way too. It's made from life and dances through everything that lives. It swirls and flows like water. It is made of many parts, just like life. What you humans consider chakra is just a tiny fraction of one flavor of chakra. Us Toads, we use far more of it—that's why we call it 'nature chakra', because we use all the flavors. Chakra has motion, currents, and feelings like the sea does." She smiled, nostalgia on her face. "Pa took me sailing on the ocean for our two hundredth anniversary. Just a little boat and the two of us under the stars." She basked in the memory for a moment, then shook it away.
"He didn't invent chakra but he was the first human to master it," she continued. "He worked out how to speak to it—not in words, of course. It's not intelligent." She paused. "Well, not exactly. It's more like..." She thought, then gave up. "It's not exactly intelligent the way you think of intelligence, but it's not mindless like a stone either. It's complicated.
"Anyway, after he learned how to use chakra he shared the knowledge with some of his closest friends. We don't have names for all of them but we know of seven: Dhruv, Avra, Nara, Mori, Yodomi, Raiyoke, and Tama. Very little is known of Dhruv and Avra because they only stayed with the Sage for two years and then they left. Avra went east to lands unknown while Dhruv went west. There's a bunch of different theories on why they left." She gestured to Fukasaku with a 'your turn' nod.
"One idea is that the Sage and Avra—she was the only girl in the group—dated for a while, or maybe she was his wife, and then they split," the old toad said. "Personally, I think it's unlikely. There's only one source for that theory and he was a known fraud about other things."
"I tend to go with Gamashisōka's view," Shima said. "The Sage and his band wanted to save the world. Avra and Dhruv went to map the way, learn about who else was out there, while the others stayed local to where they had been born and focused on coming up with a workable methodology in an environment that they were familiar with."
Fukasaku opened his mouth to snap something, then caught himself. Shima sighed.
"Go ahead," she said.
"There's another theory," Fukasaku said, touching his wife's webbed hand for a brief moment before turning fully back to Noburi. "The Sage and his friends were gathering an army to fight the Tenfold Abomination. Dhruv and Avra were sent away in case the others lost. They were to gather their own forces elsewhere to serve as a second and third chance if the main team fell, try to create secure fallback points for any of the survivors."
"You once mentioned that the Sage created the Seventh Path and all the species," Noburi said, nodding to Shima. "Was that part of his after-war planning? Maybe as a secure bolthole."
Both Sages shook their heads. "She was making a joke," Fukasaku said. "There's plenty of people on this Path who believe it was created by the Sage, or whatever title they call him by since no one knows his actual name. They're all wrong. The Sage wasn't actually a god and he didn't have the power to create entire universes."
"He created the demiverses," Shima corrected. "The ones that the humans use for their storage scrolls."
"He created the method for creating them, he didn't create all of them himself! Besides, that's not a universe."
"How is it not? It's got space, it's got—"
"It's got no time! How can you have a universe that exists for no time at all? You can't!"
"I thought he wasn't a sealmaster?" Noburi asked, trying to head off another violent 'debate' that could endanger the local ecology.
"We don't know for sure," Shima said. "Still, he was clearly the idea man for his team."
"I get that," Noburi said, nodding. "Hazō likes to say that he invented skywalkers because he had the idea, even though it was actually Kagome who did all the work."
"Hey, don't talk down your brother," Fukasaku said, glowering. "Nothing comes into existence until the idea does. Anyone can do the work of creating something once the hard part of inventing it has happened."
"Hah! You just say that because you don't want to share author credit with your researchers!"
"What we know for sure is the Sage and his friends created the Summoning contracts that allowed travel between worlds," Fukasaku said, visibly ignoring his wife's accusation. "Whether that was intended as an emergency evacuation method or something else, we don't know. And yes, Pa's right that the Sage and his friends gathered an army to fight the Tenfold Abomination. It's not clear if that happened before he decided to end war or after, and it's not clear whether he gave humans chakra so they could fight in the war or after he saw the wreckage of the so-called 'victory.'"
"He didn't give chakra to humans," Fukasaku said.
She rolled massive eyes. "Fine. The Sage had the idea and taught his friends how to use it, but Avra was the one who actually did the work of modifying people."
"It wasn't—" Fukasaku broke off and took a breath. "The medic wasn't Avra, Ma. You know that story is apocryphal! You just like it because you want the girl to be the important one, but the timelines don't match up—the Great Melding clearly happened after the Abomination was defeated, by which time she was long gone!"
Shima sniffed. "She came back, you dingus! It clearly says—"
"Sorry, you keep mentioning the Tenfold Abomination," Noburi interrupted quickly. "What exactly was it? Something like a Tailed Beast?"
"Psh," Shima said as Fukasaku snorted in disgust. "Tailed Beasts. I think not! Those are just the remnants of it after the Sage and his friends ripped it apart."
"Ripped it apart? Remnants?" Noburi echoed, eyes wide. He contemplated what it would mean for the most powerful entities of his world to be mere fragments of something.
"Sure," Fukasaku said. "The Tenfold Abomination was an External. Came from the chaos that is outside the cosmos. There's lots of those things and they keep trying to wiggle into our cosmos. Probably because it's a lot nicer here—"
"Or maybe because we only know about the ones that try to get in?" Shima said archly. "There could be gazillions of the things that are perfectly happily baking their own crazy bread out of the color green and sculpting statues out of childhood night terrors or whatever, and we only hear about the handful that want to smash through the walls of our cozy little home."
"Yes, yes, fine, whatever. Anyway, the thing got in somehow and it was destroying everything. They're poison. Everywhere they go, reality breaks and melts down into slag."
"Are the Dragons Externals?" Noburi asked. "I've seen what their scales do—they poison and dissolve anything they come in contact with."
Shima shrugged. "Maybe?"
"Of course they aren't!" Fukasaku snapped. "Those things are just horrible monsters. They dissolve things, sure, but they don't affect actual reality. Maybe they burn the skin off your hand but afterwards your skin isn't Tuesday."
"You aren't seriously going with that nonsense tablet from Karatoa, are you?" Shima demanded. "He was a drunk and a drug user, and you know it! The whole thing was nonsense, soup to nuts. Of course they are Externals. They're the ones that the Sage bound first. It said so in Volume 3 of Nakae's Annals!"
"That section is an insert by his brother! You can tell by the word choices."
"It is not! That's a dirty lie put out by Gamabobo! He was always trying to tear down Gamaatamai, and discrediting her sources was just part of that."
"Pardon," Noburi said. "You were talking about the Tenfold Abomination?"
"Oh, right," Shima said. "The Sage and his friends defeated it. It's an External, so you can't kill it and imprisoning it is problematic. Instead, they tore it apart. Its body became the Tailed Beasts. Its mind was broken into fragments, carefully divided so that no one chunk could accomplish anything on its own."
"By 'accomplish anything', she means 'go reunite with the other shards and reform the Abomination'," Fukasaku added helpfully.
"I was getting to that! Stop interrupting, you obnoxious old fart!" She looked back to Noburi. "Yes, that. The fragments aren't bound—they're just chunks of a mind, you can't tie ropes around a mind. They could go reunite with the rest of the fragments anytime they wanted and there's no way to prevent that."
"Obviously there's some way!" Fukasaku said. "You can tell on account of reality is still here."
"Fine," Shima said. "Whatever, be difficult. The Sage and his friends didn't want the fragments escaping, and they wanted to make sure that no single individual knew all the details. None of them talked to anyone or wrote down what their method was."
Noburi swallowed nervously. "That sounds very dangerous. In our family we make a point of working together, and we always come up with better ideas as a result. If only one person thinks something up, they're liable to miss something. Besides, most defenses need to be maintained; if no one knows how to do that..."
"Yup," Fukasaku said, an inappropriate amount of relish in his tone. "Reality lives balanced on a knife edge. Any day now, one of the fragments might get out of its prison and reunite with one of its others, then they would all reunite to reclaim and recombine the fragments of their body. A few hours or days later, pop!" He slammed his palm onto the table with an echoing slap. "Reality bursts like a bubble and we're all swept into nonspace to suffer in unending agony forever!" He took a big bite of his tart. "Oh, this is good, Ma! You really outdid yourself."
"It's the cinnamon," she said. "Really gives it that warmth that brings the whole thing together."
Fukasaku's massive tongue explored around his lips thoughtfully, licking up every last trace of the treacle. "Mm, mm! Really good. Is that cloves I taste? Have I told you that you're a genius in the kitchen?"
Shima glowed. "Thank you, dear."
"Um, about the fragments," Noburi said hesitantly. "Nara, Mori, the others...those are clans on the Human Path. They're all descended from one of the Sage's companions?"
"Of course," Shima said.
Noburi thought about that. "How did chakra get given to everyone then?"
"It was a recruiting method," Fukasaku said. "Join the army of the Sage to help save reality, get superpowers."
"Only at first," Shima corrected. "After the battle they tried to give it to everyone in order to balance out power. The theory was that if everyone had power, and at least part of everyone's power lay in understanding each other, there wouldn't be violence or war anymore." She shook her head. "Didn't work, unfortunately. Not everyone was able to accept the gift—or maybe the word is 'willing', it's unclear."
"Or maybe they just didn't get to it before the medic died and they forgot to write down how to do it, just like they forgot to write down so much else, including who they were!" Fukasaku said.
"That could be," Shima agreed. "Of course, it wouldn't have worked anyway. No sooner did you humans get chakra then you started using it to kill each other."
"Yeah, you humans are so violent," Fukasaku said with what Noburi felt was a shocking lack of self-awareness given how he and his wife interacted. "Sure, the chakra that got handed out before the war was all battle-themed, but everything after that was intended to promote harmony. Empathic connection, healing, sharing of minds based on skin contact, awareness of and oneness with the cosmos, that kind of thing. Took about that long"—he snapped his fingers—"before you started using it to crush each other's minds, carve up people's innards, tear secrets out of each others' brains, all that. Bah."
"It might not be completely their fault," Shima said to her husband. "When the Abomination's mind was torn apart and the Sage gathered it into the various fragments, it's quite likely that some tiny scraps were missed. Escaped into the environment and bonded to human bloodlines."
"You're saying that some humans have an External's...dreams, or whatever, corrupting their minds?"
Shima sniffed. "It's a theory."
"It's her theory," Fukasaku said, rolling his eyes. "She's been trying to prove it for sixty years."
"And I'm getting close! You saw what was in those Crow tablets!"
"Ha! Those chicken scratchings are purely bogus! Absolute nonsense! It's not pipeweed that they put in their pipes, if you know what I mean!"
"They are not! Karatoa was a very diligent scholar!"
"Diligent my very manly bottom! He was a lush! In fact, you said that yourself not five minutes ago when I talked about the Dragons!"
The conversation devolved from there until Noburi finally gave up, offered his thanks for the meal and conversation, and escaped to the relatively insanity of the Gōketsu estate. He couldn't help thinking that things were bad when the Gōketsu estate was the sane place.
XP AWARD: 1
Brevity XP: 1
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Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
*eyes widen considerably*
- Location
- The Soviet Republic of Canuckistan
- Pronouns
- He/Him
- Location
- how about no
Who wants to get Kei and Shikamaru divorced for the sake of the universe?