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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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"Oh, also traumatized myself with an S-Ranker's focused killing intent immediately compounded by a traumatic brain injury due to seizing convulsions after choosing on the spot to face it down and push his berserk button to buy the Hokage an excuse to prevent World War IV- y'know, I've kinda been averaging an elite jounin or S-Ranker trying to murder me at a rate of once a month since I became a teenager, but I've kinda been slacking off on that recently since Gai isn't around to cheerfully punch me stupid when I need it- hey, what's uncle Oro up to nowadays?"
 
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I think that the best way to arrange for delegation is to sit down with the clan, go through The List, and then ask them which parts they feel like they're capable of handling. Instead of worrying about who gets what, we let them pick.

This is going to have one of three outcomes:
  • The worst outcome is that people who we can't trust to handle certain tasks volunteer for those tasks. We're then in the awkward position of having to say 'no, not you'. I trust everyone to be smart if we actually explain all of what's on our plate intelligently so I'm not too worried about this.
  • People surprise us and make convincing arguments for why they are, in fact, in a position to take on a task, or to shoulder part of a task, or to help with something, etc. Great! One less thing for us to worry about.
  • Everyone stares at us slack-jawed and says 'wow, I can't handle any of that, Hazo, all of it clearly needs doing, how the fuck are you dealing' which gets us the outcome of chapter 447 without the emotional turmoil.
I suppose there are other options like 'member of the clan suggests that we re-arrange our priorities and drop some items', but those fall under either the first or second options, IMO.

The talk about 'we can't assign anything to anyone in the clan, this is useless' is (IMO) emblematic of the mindset that got us into this mess in the first place. If we can't directly delegate, we can talk to them about it. Any time that we don't feel like we can communicate with or trust people in the clan, the solution must be that we zoom out and keep zooming out until we get to a point where we can, actually, trust and talk to them. Maybe they'll surprise us, and if they don't, then we've communicated.
 
Welcome to the Hivemind, @Odgorian !
The blueprints for WMDs are on your right, and to the left is the Chorus Of Endless screams. If you care to join said chorus, we can get you fitted out with a pair of industrial-grade lungs. You'll need them, choir practice is every update where Hazō does something likely to get everyone killed.
 
Sentient Tree said:
Welcome to the Hivemind, @Odgorian !
The blueprints for WMDs are on your right, and to the left is the Chorus Of Endless screams. If you care to join said chorus, we can get you fitted out with a pair of industrial-grade lungs. You'll need them, choir practice is every update where Hazō does something likely to get everyone killed.
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Wait, you can just get those? Do you know how many pairs I go through every month when I hear the players talk optimisation?

Also, welcome, @Odgorian!
 
FaintlySorcerous said:
I think that the best way to arrange for delegation is to sit down with the clan, go through The List, and then ask them which parts they feel like they're capable of handling. Instead of worrying about who gets what, we let them pick.

This is going to have one of three outcomes:
  • The worst outcome is that people who we can't trust to handle certain tasks volunteer for those tasks. We're then in the awkward position of having to say 'no, not you'. I trust everyone to be smart if we actually explain all of what's on our plate intelligently so I'm not too worried about this.
  • People surprise us and make convincing arguments for why they are, in fact, in a position to take on a task, or to shoulder part of a task, or to help with something, etc. Great! One less thing for us to worry about.
  • Everyone stares at us slack-jawed and says 'wow, I can't handle any of that, Hazo, all of it clearly needs doing, how the fuck are you dealing' which gets us the outcome of chapter 447 without the emotional turmoil.
I suppose there are other options like 'member of the clan suggests that we re-arrange our priorities and drop some items', but those fall under either the first or second options, IMO.

The talk about 'we can't assign anything to anyone in the clan, this is useless' is (IMO) emblematic of the mindset that got us into this mess in the first place. If we can't directly delegate, we can talk to them about it. Any time that we don't feel like we can communicate with or trust people in the clan, the solution must be that we zoom out and keep zooming out until we get to a point where we can, actually, trust and talk to them. Maybe they'll surprise us, and if they don't, then we've communicated.
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Screw it. Let's just go full Prussian and invent the entire concept of a general staff. We can sell it to Asuma afterwards. He'll doubtlessly be willing to pay through the nose for it.
 
I'd be shocked if actual clans didn't already have that concept.

At least, the Nara.

Maybe we should ask Shikamaru for some broad thoughts on how to run our clan.
 
Sentient Tree said:
[jk] Armageddon Initiative
  • Hug Kei
  • Tell Yuno that Noburi is cheating on him
  • Ask Snek Uncle to do necromancy with us
  • Tell Kagome what you just did and fervently deny being infested with a lupchanz, before he starts screaming about lupchanzen
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I'd like to make a quick addition or two.
  • Tell Snowflake that we don't want to be her friend anymore
  • Tell Asuma we have a brilliant new idea that will let us make peace with Rock
 
eaglejarl said:
Happy Friday, everyone!

Please join me in welcoming @Odgorian to the head of the thread. This fine person reads scarily fast and appears to have gone through the entire thread, not only the threadmarks.

Welcome, Odgorian. It's a pleasure to have you here.
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Hello, everyone!

I was here already (in late 2019, IIRC), but my stay was so short — I asked a couple of questions, lurked for a month, then stopped following because reasons — that I will be surprised if even @faflec remembers me. Recently I had a couple of almost free days, remembered good things about this quest ("Hazou: jokes on you, I didn't feel like being smart today!" signature may or may not played a big role in this process) — and, well, here I am.

"Scarily fast" is certainly not true! I have read 600k words in 3 days, 200k per day — which, if we assume 14 hours of reading per day, gives us ~250 words per minute, perfectly average reading speed!
(Ignore the fact that I read 14 hours per day 3 days in a row, you (both @Velorien and @eaglejarl , of course) are just that good.)

I'm here to lurk and, sometimes, vote; taking part in discussion is just not my cup of tea. Nevertheless, I really like the thread community and, of course, the authors. Your writing style is great, it's a delight to read, and I really hope you don't stop soon. If it brings you joy too, of course, but — given the length of the quest — I have a good evidence that you enjoy it.

Thanks for having me!
 
Oh, and regarding scarf-guy:

Only a fool would have tried that without preparation, planning, a professional knowledge of psychology and crowd sociology, and it clearly was not conducted by a fool. That means that it was conducted by somebody with advance knowledge of what was about to go down and who knew that Hazou would know that fact, which makes it part of the message along with the deliberate facial covering and distinctive baritone.

That narrows down the potential suspects quite a bit. Pretty much down to him being an agent of Ino, Asuma, or Mari. Kei or one of the other Nara might have picked up on the necessary information from their close association with the Yamanaka, but it really doesn't seem like their style. Ami is always a possibility because she's just that good at intelligence analysis and behavioral prediction, but we can probably also simply ask her. I suppose that Akane's father might be checking up after the fight, but doing it that way would take a civilian some giant swinging balls.

So, Ino, Asuma, Mari, or Ami. If I had to, I would wager on Ino conducting a challenge test on her peer, new boyfriend, and potential husband to check the sincerity of his convictions after he broke her best friend's heart due to how conspicuously circumspect she was during the discussion implying that she had already made other plans to render his commentary redundant.

On the other hand, Asuma has a vested interest in the conduct and judgement of his pet serial-traitor wonderchild and Mari has just been through a major life-event and has an established history of screwing with him in just such a fashion.

Hrmmm...

Gee, wouldn't it be nice if we had some sort of elite jounin with heiress training from the diplomat clan to serve as a check on Mari's shenanigans while Hazou was busy?
 
Shrooms said:
[X] Hazou Limps His Way Across Another Dimension
Word Count: 298
  • Other (OFFSCREEN)
    • Commission chocolate sculpture of Kagome
    • Mari, investigate scarf guy
    • Reo, bring Hazou the Yakuza victims' information.
    • Kagome, arrange seal loadout for new Goketsu
    • Introduce Canun to Atomu, relay Cannai's comments about making techniques for Atomu. How can we compensate you?
      • Also, are there Dog Training Jutsu that improve skills like running or mental resilience? Are they willing to share with Hazou? Hazou's clan?
        • What would be fair service/payment?
        • Consult with Cannai later if necessary.
  • Cannai
    • Discuss how Ami's Crusader idea could be improved.
    • Pantsaa sent a Condor to verify DRAGONWAR is real. Enma will spread word once it's confirmed.
    • Leaf is experiencing famine. Can Hazou trade raw goods, medicines, other projects like the sleds for food or gold?
      • (Offscreen prep) Loop in Asuma, is he willing to approve jutsu trades?
    • Hazou plans to negotiate Crusader idea with Bears. Is there another Dog diplomat that could attend?
  • Private audience with Kumokogo
    • What Crusader plan changes would help Arachnids?
    • Pantsaa sent a Condor to verify DRAGONWAR is real. Enma will spread the word once it's confirmed.
    • With ANBU intel, describe area around Rock fort. Is this the same location Kumokogo referred to?
    • Have the Arachnids always guarded Great Seal? Did they meet the Sage?
    • Can other Clans send Diplomats to Arachnid?
      • OFFSCREEN: If yes, ask other Leaf Summoners to send ambassadors to Arachnid.
  • Bears
    • Let Dog diplomat lead
      • We bring news of DRAGONWAR.
        • There's a nascent plan to unite many clans against the threat, but it's still in early stages, so we welcome criticisms.
          • Explain Crusader idea.
        • Additionally, if the Bears are amenable to it, involving more Summoners would help the crisis. Do they have ideas of where their scroll is, and are they interested in having a Summoner aid them?
          • Explain 7th path trading as well.
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how do yall feel about this D E L E G A T I O N
 
i had a thought
when the dog-pangolin war breaks out we will have casus belli to help the condors defect from their slavers, if things go extremely well they may even join the dog clan like the hornets joined the arachnids. not by coercion but by the promise of safety. of course i think the hornets joined because they lost the capability to produce a boss due to dragons but i am sure we can arrange for it to look like an accident.
 
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